AMC Transcript Thursday 9/30/04

All My Children Transcript Thursday 9/30/04

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By Suzanne
Proofread by Gisele

Jonathan: You can't be serious. You let him go? The man shoots my brother, now he's walking the streets? Come on, how stupid is that?

Officer: All right, calm down, Mr. Lavery. Ballistics don't lie. Ramsey’s rifle didn't fire the shot that hit your brother. There was no other evidence to hold him.

Bianca: Excuse me, Jonathan. Was Kendall here with Ethan?

Jonathan: Yeah, she was. Isn't that perfect?

Bianca: Why are you so angry?

Jonathan: Because Ramsey shot my brother. We all know he did it.

Bianca: Or he didn't. There's evidence. Face it, Jonathan, you could be wrong.

Jonathan: The hell I am!

Jamie: What's the word, Bess? Lay it out for your Uncle Jamie. Whose baby are you really? Hmm?

Stuart: You know, sometimes -- hi! -- Sometimes a baby is just its own little person. Hmm? When Adam and I were little, we didn't look anybody else. I mean, except each other. I have photos to prove it. This little girl is going to be just like her mama. She has her disposition. Sugar and spice and everything nice.

Jamie: Just as long as she doesn't turn out like her father.

Stuart: Yeah, J.R. did a bad thing when he took Bess away from her mama.

Jamie: Keeping a baby away from her mother's a horrible thing for anybody to do.

David: So Slater actually came through?

Babe: With what?

Derek: Security footage from the night Adam disappeared.

David: And you've seen it?

Derek: Just the highlights.

David: All right, Derek. Well, how about a review, hmm? Standing o? Two thumbs up?

Derek: You might want to get yourself a lawyer.

David: That's a bunch of nonsense. If this DA is not going to toss this, then I want to know why.

Babe: You can't send my father away. If he's done anything, he's done it to help me. I'm not going to let him go to prison for that.

Krystal: That's just trash. Here, I'll throw it out.

Tad: I may be the fool who's in love with you, but I am not a chump. I also happen to be a PI, remember?

Krystal: Yeah, I know. You never met a cotton swab you couldn't build a case around. Hide the tissues, Tad's on the trail.

Tad: Only when it smells like DNA evidence. So what do you say, Jay? Whose cheek did you have to swipe to get hold of this baby?

David: Don't worry. I can handle this.

Derek: I got to hand it to you, Hayward. It shows spine to go after Adam Chandler.

David: Are you going to charge me or not?

Derek: Can't argue with what the camera shows. This new technology? Whew!

David: Oh, yeah, it's a real mind-blower. Maybe you scrounged up enough to plant a recording device right here in my very cell, huh, try to get me to confess to something I didn't do?

Babe: David, don't say anything else, not without the lawyer present.

Derek: You know, Adam Chandler's put together a pretty convincing argument.

David: Oh, please. The guy will say anything to make himself look good. If you ask me, he was probably on a bender somewhere, and come on, you smelled him. He's probably just too embarrassed to admit it.

Derek: Well, then there's that bad history between you two.

David: What? That's your evidence? I have bad history with half the people in this town. That doesn't mean I want to box them up and send them COD to the Dalai Lama.

Derek: Well, I'm not convinced.

David: Oh, yeah? Well, get over it, Derek. Are you charging me or not? Just what I thought -- not. That disc is as vacant as J.R.'s brain.

Babe: Well, guess you're going to have to let him go. Right now.

Derek: We'll process you out. But I'd get comfortable if I were you. This could take a while.

David: If you have anything to do about it. Were you really worried about me?

Babe: Well, yeah, of course. I'd feel terrible if anything happened to you when you're trying to protect me. This family would protect each other. It goes both ways.

David: They can't bring me down that quickly, honey.

Babe: You think it's ok if we talk here?

David: Oh, yeah. I mean, the cell's aren't wired or anything. Why did you come?

Babe: I just wanted to make sure that you were ok. Then when Mama didn't show up back home, I just -- I got kind of worried about what happened to the DNA sample.

David: No, no, she lifted the swab from evidence. I bet you she's on the way to lab right now.

Babe: I hope so.

David: Don't worry, Babe. It's going to work out. We're so close to the truth.

Krystal: Listen, I know that that detective brain of yours has an off switch somewhere, and I'm going to find it.

Tad: Nice try, but no banana. Just because one of my motors turns over and starts running doesn't mean the other one shuts off.

Krystal: Oh, ok. You trying to tell me that you can walk and chew gum at the same time? Well, I knew you were special.

Tad: Krystal, just tell me whose DNA it is so we don't sit here playing 20 questions all afternoon.

Krystal: It's nothing for you to worry about, Tad.

Tad: All right, then answer my question and then we'll go back to your original idea, the one that gets me all hot, sweaty, and smiling.

Krystal: Give me, give me. Just --

Tad: You really don't want me to know. You know, this is a really lousy way to start a marriage.

Krystal: We're not married, Tad, ok? We're not even engaged.

Tad: Uh-huh. And I'm starting to get a really bad feeling that this is the reason why.

Stuart: Nobody's going to take Bess away from her mama, not while I'm standing guard.

Jamie: You're doing a great job, Stuart. If I had a kid, I'd trust him with you, I can tell you that.

Stuart: J.R.'s not going to get away with anything like that again. You've got my promise, and you know I'll keep it.

Jamie: So Babe got you to turn on him, too, huh?

Stuart: Oh, no, no, I'd never turn on my nephew. I'm doing this for J.R.'s own good. If you love somebody, you don't just stand by and watch them doing something wrong. That's bad for their soul. And mine, too, my soul, too, if I just watch and don't do anything.

Jamie: Can I ask you a question?

Stuart: Yeah.

Jamie: How does Babe seem to you lately?

Stuart: Well, she's just Babe, always trying to turn everybody's lemons into lemon meringue pie, like always.

Jamie: You don't see anything different about her?

Stuart: Well, she's been through a tough time lately. J.R. was -- well, treated her very badly. But deep down inside, no, I don't see anything different. That's not the answer you wanted, is it?

Jamie: It's just I can't figure her out lately.

Stuart: Yeah. People have always had a hard time figuring me out, too, because they think I do everything backwards. And maybe I do, but it always makes sense to me. But she's kind of like that, you know? She doesn't do anything in a straight line. She doesn't live in a straight line. She sometimes -- she forgets where she's going and makes mistakes, like marrying J.R. before her other marriage was over. She didn't mean any harm. She just loved J.R. so much, she couldn't wait. But her heart's always in the right place.

Jamie: Here you go. How can you be sure?

Stuart: Because I look for the good first. And sometimes that's hard to find. Sometimes you need X-ray vision to even know it's there. But not Babe. Her good just glows. She'd never hurt anybody on purpose.

Jamie: See, that's exactly it. That's the way I always felt about her. I just needed a reality check from one of the most real guys I know.

Stuart: Well, take my word for it, whatever mistakes Babe makes, she makes them out of love, one way or another.

Jamie: Yeah. So who is it that she loves that much?

Babe: Do you think they're taking good care of my baby?

David: Ace? What brought that on?

Babe: Well, it's just that infants are hard to care for. They take a lot of work to make sure that they're happy and healthy. They're totally high-maintenance, and at this age that Ace and Bess are, they're completely dependent on adults. I know that I would absolutely move mountains to do anything for Bess, but how do I know that somebody's doing the same for Ace?

David: Well, he does have Kevin Buchanan.

Babe: Yeah, and it's obvious that Kevin loves him, but Kevin's out campaigning and raising money and kissing other people's babies. How much time is he really spending with my little boy?

David: Babe, you saw Ace. He's doing great.

Babe: Yeah. And the nanny, she seems nice, but it's not the same as a mother's love. You can't fake that. Nobody could pay me to feel how I feel about Bess. Loving her, it's so natural. It's like breathing. And who's doing that for Ace? Maybe I should just go see him, just make sure he's ok.

David: Babe, don't even think it. First, we don't have proof yet that this baby is yours.

Babe: I don't need it. I don't need some dumb test. I know the truth. He's right there. He's in Llanview!

David: For heaven's sake, stay away from Llanview. Babe, I get that you want to see him, but you have to be patient.

Babe: This isn't just for me, David. I want to make things right for Bianca. No matter what happens, she deserves to know the truth about Bess.

David: And nothing would make me happier than for things to work out for the two of you.

Babe: Bianca's going to get Miranda back. What? What, you think that maybe I'm not going to get my little boy back, even with everything that we know?

David: I just want the proof in my hands, that's all.

Babe: What if we don't get it? Oh, God, what if this is my punishment for what I've done to Bianca?

Bianca: I'm not going to go around accusing someone just because you say so.

Jonathan: You made your choice days ago -- you and your sister, both of you. You chose to side with a stranger over Ryan.

Bianca: I didn't choose anything. I was going to walk away from Ethan until the evidence just cleared him. Why don't you just let the police do their jobs?

Jonathan: Chief Frye? Chief Frye? I need to talk to you, please.

Derek: We're working on your brother's shooting. We just don't have anything new at this time.

Jonathan: That's not good enough.

Derek: Go spend time with him. Watch a ballgame. Have a few beers. Just be grateful he survived.

Jonathan: Yeah, you'd like that, wouldn't you, and let your department off the hook? What, it wasn't murder, so it doesn't matter, is that it? What kind of bogus cop are you?

Derek: You know what? I'm just going to assume that you're overwrought. Excuse me.

Maggie: Hi.

Jonathan: Oh, God, you're here.

Maggie: Thank God I was home. Is everything ok?

Jonathan: No, everything's not ok. This place -- this place reeks. It's like it's one incompetent move after another. They let go of the guy who shot Ryan.

Maggie: Are you serious?

Jonathan: Can we get out of here, please? My head's about to explode, ok?

Maggie: Ok, let's go.

Bianca: Maggie.

Maggie: Hi.

Bianca: Could I talk to you for a second?

Maggie: Can you wait for me outside? I'll be there in a minute.

Jonathan: Yeah.

Maggie: Hi. What's up?

Bianca: How with Jonathan are you?

Maggie: I don't know. Why? Bianca, if you have something to say, say it now.

Tad: Let me straighten you out, cupcake. By choosing to keep this big secret a secret from me, you're intentionally placing yourself between a rock and an even bigger, harder rock, and I'm thinking about something along the scale of Everest here.

Krystal: I'm thinking that you're making a mountain out of a grain of sand, Tad.

Tad: Oh, really? Well, ok, here's what I know. You refused to say yes to being Mrs. Tad Martin, because you're afraid I'm going to find out about your big secret and start thinking bad things about you. But if you won't tell me what this big secret is, you're not going to know whether I think bad things about you or not, and the problem is as long as there's the remotest possibility that I might think something bad about you, you're going to keep on saying no, or rather not yes to being Mrs. Tad Martin, I'm going to continue not to know why because you won't take the big step and just trust me. And you're putting yourself in a no-win, or rather a lose-lose situation, and that's a bad place to be, sweetheart. What, are you laughing because I amuse you or because you can finally admit that this thing, whatever it was, wasn't worth the drama in the first place. It's time for you to start believing in old Thaddeus.

Krystal: All right! All right, ok? I hate no-win situations. All right, I'll tell you.

Tad: Only if you insist.

Krystal: That cotton swab isn't to fix my mascara or to clean out Bess' ears. It's for a DNA sample.

Tad: Whose?

Krystal: David's.

Tad: What, he's thinking about dumping more progeny on Pine Valley?

Krystal: No, no. Quite the opposite.

Tad: How's that work?

Krystal: Well, it occurred to me the only test that we have that shows that David is Babe's father -- who did that test?

Tad: He did.

Krystal: Exactly. Which means we only have his word that it's accurate, and he can't be trusted.

Tad: Uh-huh-huh. Nobody ever accused you of being slow on the uptake. So you think that David was lying about being Babe's father from the get-go?

Krystal: Yeah.

Tad: Well, what would he stand to gain from that?

Krystal: Think about it, Tad. Loneliness is a very powerful state of mind, right? Maybe -- maybe he saw this as a chance to replace that little girl that he lost and he decided to take it.

Tad: Hmm. Whoa. Well, if that's the case, then we're just going to have to take it back, won't we, sweetheart?

David: Our first priority is to figure out a way to get Miranda back where she belongs without incriminating ourselves.

Babe: I just want Bianca to have her baby back. I don't even care what happens to me.

David: I know you mean that, but you've got to think this through, Babe. Bianca's not the problem here. J.R. is. No, if you or your mother or even I let on that we knew Bess' real identity even for five minutes and did nothing about it, J.R. would take that and he would run with it. He would use that to keep Ace away from you, and get us thrown in jail in the process. Now, we're all co-conspirators in keeping Bess under false circumstances, all right? J.R., he could paint us as criminals, and no one would care what our motives were. So you've got to hang low. I'll tell you, I'll be damned if I'm going to put that baby back in your arms only to see J.R. take him away again.

Babe: Ok. So I'll keep it quiet from Bianca, but why can't I just go make sure Ace is ok, go see him?

David: And you don't think that Kevin Buchanan’s going to feel it's suspicious that you're hanging around all the time?

Babe: He was really nice to me before. He even set up a play date with the babies.

David: Well, that's really cozy, but what about when Paul Cramer sees you hanging around, buddying up to Buchanan again? I mean, Paul's already suspicious, Babe. I mean, if he sees you hanging around that baby all over again, he's going to know that you're on to him. It's just -- it's too dangerous.

Babe: I've handled Paul before.

David: Babe, hear what I'm saying to you. Going to Llanview is way too risky. Now, first, we have to get proof positive that Ace is yours. Then we establish paternity. Now, until those two things are in place, we cannot make a move.

Babe: This is my baby, David. I need him, and he needs me.

David: I know. I understand, and I'm sorry, but we cannot chance it. And if you want this to work out, no matter how hard it is, you're just going to have to wait.

Bianca: Things have gotten pretty close with you and Jonathan pretty fast, and -- I don't know, it's like we barely know him.

Maggie: You don't know him. I do. What's really going on, Bianca? Is there something that you want to tell me? I mean, why don't you want me to be with him?

Bianca: I just can't help but wondering why things have gotten so intense with you guys. I mean, it seems like you're rushing into something with somebody that you barely know. Why? I know that sometimes it's -- it's hard being alone.

Maggie: I'm not alone. I have Jamie. I have other friends. I thought you were one of them.

Bianca: I am, Maggie. I just think that there's something about Jonathan.

Maggie: Yeah, he's hot. And he's a Lavery.

Bianca: He's on a mission. He wants to nail somebody for Ryan's shooting.

Maggie: His brother was just shot. He almost died. He has every right to want to blame someone.

Bianca: Even if they're innocent? That is something that Ryan would never do.

Maggie: Well, I don't blame him because I've been there before. I know what it feels like, with my sister.

Bianca: Maggie, this is different. It's like he wanted to nail Kendall as soon as he found out. He was absolutely sure that she had done it.

Maggie: She pointed a gun at him! She pulled the trigger! Call me crazy, but I don't think that's unreasonable.

Bianca: Well, it turns out he was wrong. I just don't want you to get hurt.

Maggie: Well, the most dangerous thing he's ever done is fix me a drink at BJ's after hours. Thank you, but I'm fine. You have nothing to worry about. Actually, things couldn't be better.

Bianca: Hi.

Babe: What are you doing here?

Bianca: I came here looking for Kendall. She had come with Ethan, but I think I missed them.

Babe: It's a sign. I know it is.

Bianca: It's a sign? A sign of what?

Babe: Running into you here. Bianca, I need you to go somewhere with me.

Bianca: Where?

Babe: Llanview.

Bianca: What's in Llanview?

Babe: I got lost there the other night and I ended up there, and I ran into this guy, Kevin Buchanan.

Bianca: Kevin Buchanan, who's running for Lieutenant Governor?

Babe: Yeah, and he was really nice and -- and he had the sweetest little boy. His name's Ace. But anyway, we -- we exchanged numbers for a play date, but then I lost the number.

Bianca: Well, I'm sure you can get it again.

Babe: Well, the thing is it's not listed in the phone book, so I thought, it's such a beautiful drive, maybe that we could go down there together, and I could just show up where he works or where he lives and -- he was just a really nice guy. I just don't want him to think that I dropped the ball or anything.

Bianca: And you need me to go with you?

Babe: I want Bess to go. And with everything that's going on, I'd sort of feel a lot better if you were there. So what do you say? Come on, maybe -- maybe Bess and Ace, they could have that play date together. Wouldn't it be good for her?

Bianca: Sounds like a plan. Let's go.

Tad: Come here. Come here, sweetheart. You know, I hate to say I told you so, but --

Krystal: But you will, anyway.

Tad: Well, I warned you -- David is a bad guy.

Krystal: Yeah. Doesn't deserve a daughter like Babe, I know.

Tad: Hmm. Never, ever believe that anything he says remotely resembles the truth.

Krystal: I just don't know what got into him. He wasn't around for most of Babe's life, and now he's trying to make up for lost time? Which wouldn't be so bad, except he's such a control freak.

Tad: Yeah, "freak" being the operative word in the sentence.

Krystal: We were just fine without a daddy in Babe's life. In fact, we were more than fine, you know, because neither one of us likes to be told what's what.

Tad: I got that loud and clear.

Krystal: Now he's trying to snake his way into both of our lives. He actually tried to move into the Chandler mansion to protect Babe. Huh, as if she's not stressed out enough without Daddy-come-lately making her crazy. I tell you, if I had known -- if I'd known that it was going to come to this, I would have gone to my grave before letting on that David might be her daddy.

Tad: Yeah, but now you think he might not be.

Krystal: Exactly. Which is why I need that cotton swab. If I can prove that he's not related, then I can kick that rat out of our lives for good.

Tad: Oh, where do I sign up for that?

Krystal: You love being right, don't you?

Tad: Well, it doesn't suck. The only thing that confuses me now is I had no idea that David was driving you so crazy. I kind of got the feeling you two were sharing something.

Krystal: Well, I had to pretend that I was grateful for his so-called support so he wouldn't catch on that I was suspicious.

Tad: Hmm.

Krystal: Who knows what he would have done to keep us in his grip.

Tad: Like what?

Krystal: I don't know. You're the one with all the genius insight.

[Knock on door]

David: Good. I was hoping you'd be here.

Tad: There's a packing crate out in the garage with your name on it. Why don't you go check it out.

David: What'd I miss?

Tad: I think it's high time for you to get sealed up and shipped off.

Stuart: Sometimes you remind me so much of your dad. You know, you're always there for Babe, like he was always there for Dixie.

Jamie: I don't think Babe's anything like Dixie.

Stuart: Well, they're both women who love their children more than anything else in this world. They always did things for the right reasons, even if it didn't always seem that way.

Jamie: That's how I used to feel about J.R. I mean, I used to think no matter how awful he got, he always had a good reason. I almost died believing that. I couldn't have been more wrong, and maybe not just about J.R.

Stuart: See, there you go again. You're just like your dad. He hated being wrong, too.

Jamie: I mean, it's just sometimes things happen and they make you question your own judgment.

Stuart: Ooh! Bess, Bess, look who's here! It's your mama and your godmother!

Bianca: Hello!

Stuart: Here she comes!

Bianca: Oh, sweetheart! Hi!

Stuart: Oh, look at --

[Stuart laughs]

Stuart: Oh, she lights up like a Christmas tree whenever she sees you.

Bianca: Oh! Thank you! I remember the first time I knew she recognized me. I thought it was just about the best thing in the world.

Babe: Uncle Stuart’s right. That baby does adore Bianca.

Jamie: It's no big surprise, considering who Bianca is to her.

[Stuart and Bianca laugh]

Babe: What did you mean by that?

Jamie: What do you think I meant? Bianca's Bess' godmother. She's also one of the best people I know. Sweet, generous. What baby wouldn't love her?

Babe: Exactly. So, what's up? What are you doing here?

Jamie: Just checking up on my goddaughter, making sure she's all right, seeing if Stuart needs any help. Is that ok with you?

Babe: Of course it is. Bess always loves seeing you. But you don't need to worry. When it comes to taking care of Bess, Uncle Stuart is the best.

Jamie: Well, then I guess I'm out of here.

Bianca: Oh, no, Jamie, why don't you come with us? We're going to take Bess out.

Babe: You know what? Jamie's probably too busy to hang, huh?

Jamie: You're right, I am. I got lots of stuff to do. So you guys have fun, and I'll see you later.

Babe: Hey, Uncle Stuart, have you seen my mother?

Stuart: No, not since this morning. Well, Babe, what's the matter?

Babe: Nothing. I have a huge favor to ask you, and I know you're not supposed to let Bess go anywhere without you, but I was just wondering that maybe Bianca and I, we could take her for the afternoon, just us girls?

Stuart: Oh, Babe, I won't let J.R. take Bess away from you, but I can't let you take Bess away from him, either.

Babe: Oh, no, no, that's not what I mean. I promise, Uncle Stuart, I don't want to hurt J.R. in any way. You have to believe me on this. I just -- I just want to spend a beautiful day with Bess and her godmother, just try to forget this whole nightmare even exists. You know, we could go for a drive in the countryside and have a picnic and let Bess play with some little buddies her own age, try to create a normal life for her. That's all I really want. Besides, who could be more trustworthy than Bianca.

Stuart: Ok, ok, go ahead. Be normal.

Babe: Really?

Stuart: Yeah, be normal.

Babe: Oh, Uncle Stuart. I appreciate it. You're the sweetest man ever. I'm going to go get her bag packed.

Stuart: Ok. I'll pack her stroller.

Babe: Ok, thanks.

Bianca: Did you see that? Did you see how much your mommy loves you? Oh, my goodness, she does. Even when everything seems to be going wrong, you just put a smile on her face, don't you? Oh, you're so sweet. You are. Oh, we're going to have so much fun today. You're going to make a new friend, aren't you? You know, if things had turned out differently, you'd already have a friend.

[Baby squeals]

Bianca: A best friend. Oh! You're talking. Babe and I should be out right now with our two little girls having a play date.

[Squeal]

Bianca: Yes. Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes.

David: It's finally happened, Martin. You've had a psychotic break.

Krystal: Let me handle him, Tad.

David: Handle me?

Tad: You haven't managed to stop him so far.

David: Stop me from what?

Tad: From being the out-of-control freak you are, thinking you could own Krystal and Babe with your big lie. Well, I got news for you, Mr. Puppet Master --

Krystal: Look, I think this is something I need to talk to David in private about.

Tad: No, no, no, you don't have to suck up to him anymore. You've got all you need from him. All that's left now is the truth.

Krystal: Tad, listen to me, ok?

Tad: You know what this is? This has got your number on it, pal.

Krystal: This is proof positive whether or not you're anybody's daddy.

David: Oh! All right. So that's what you think, Krystal, that I'm not really Babe's dad?

Krystal: A girl can't be too careful.

David: He did this to you, didn't he? Poisoned you against me, corrupted your mind.

Tad: Oh, come on. Spare us the self-righteous act. Nobody's buying it here.

David: What, it's not enough that you kept my daughter away from me all those years, huh? You going to let him mess with your head, convince you that I'm not her father when you know the truth? All right, Krystal, fine. Go ahead. Do what you got to do. Run your tests. Run 20 of them. I've got nothing to hide!

Brooke: Oh. Oh. Did I come at a bad time?

Krystal: I got to go.

Tad: No, no, no!

Krystal: No --

Tad: Come on, don't rush off.

Krystal: I got to go to that lab. I got to take care of that test so we can just get it over with and move on with our lives. Tad, come on. What are you doing?

Tad: Why don't I hang on to this for a while?

Maggie: Make yourself comfortable. I'll get us some drinks.

Jonathan: I said I needed you, and you were there.

Maggie: Well, that's what friends are for.

Jonathan: Is that what we are?

Maggie: No.

Jonathan: You know, this really isn't fair right now because I'm not going to be good company, so I probably --

Maggie: No, it's ok.

Jonathan: No, it's -- it's not going to be ok. You don't know. I can be completely impossible, ok? I can be such a brat.

Maggie: You don't have to pretend with me. I'm actually surprised that you've held it together for so long. I mean, most people I know would have definitely lost it by now.

Jonathan: Oh, give me time. When I think what could have happened to Ryan --

Maggie: Hey, Ryan is going to be fine.

Jonathan: I'm so lucky I met you. I mean, I don't know what I would have done to make it through this entire thing if --

Maggie: Believe me, I get it.

Jonathan: Yeah, you do. You get me.

Tad: I could take David's sample to the hospital and have my father oversee the tests. That way we'd make sure that Hayward doesn't tamper with the results. You and I both know he's capable of doing something like that. So, what do you say?

Krystal: I say I've taken it this far. Why don't I just take care of it the rest of the way.

Tad: Well, your peace of mind is all that matters. And this is the key, right? I mean it, I'll do whatever you say.

Krystal: Oh, Tad. You're always there for me.

Tad: It's a messy job, but somebody's got to do it.

Krystal: Thank you. But it is my mess, and I really should take care of it myself.

Brooke: Well, it's real clear where Jamie gets it -- this never-ending fascination with the Carey women. All right, so now maybe you can answer me this.

Tad: What?

Brooke: What the heck is going on around here?

Krystal: Well, color me impressed, but that was some acting job you did in there.

David: Yeah, well, next time, I'd appreciate a little advance notice.

Krystal: Well, I would have given you that if Tad hadn't accidentally found this almighty cotton swab. Talk about thinking on my feet. I had to come up with something good, and fast.

David: Well, how did he find it?

Krystal: Well, because I hid it someplace that nobody else would have found it, that's for sure.

David: Well, I would have had fun looking.

Krystal: Listen to me, I love that man in there and he loves me, too, so would you just take this and shut up, get that test done so I can stop lying to him?

David: Yeah, right. Wait till the truth comes out. Everything will be fine. Where's Babe?

Krystal: I don't know. Why?

David: We split up at the jail to look for you. She was supposed to get back to me if you weren't at the house.

Krystal: Well, maybe she forgot?

David: Or maybe she doesn't want us to know where she went.

Babe: Well, where else would the next Lieutenant Governor be? Hi. Excuse me. Have you seen Kevin?

Woman: He's due in about an hour.

Babe: Ok, thanks. Well, I guess we can just wait.

Bianca: Oh, no, let's just go to the park. We can catch up with Kevin some other time.

Babe: There he is.

Bianca: Kevin?

Babe: Only the sweetest baby boy you ever saw.

Jonathan: Maggie --

Maggie: Shh. Don't. Don't talk.

Brooke: I don't believe it.

Tad: Well, believe it.

Brooke: I go away for a nanosecond to cover the campaign, and you've gotten engaged to Krystal?

Tad: Don't sweat it. I mean, so far it's only semiofficial.

Brooke: Ok, ok. I think the only thing better would be a double ceremony with Jamie and Babe.

Tad: Don't tell me you're jealous.

Brooke: I'm not jealous.

Tad: Uh-huh.

Brooke: I just wonder what it is with you Martin men and your hormones.

Tad: You tell me. It's what you used to like most about me.

Brooke: Oh, yeah. That and the charming way your lips vibrate when you snore. I'm serious about Jamie, ok? I left him a message. I asked him to call me.

Tad: Yeah, well, forget about Jamie. He's off on his own track. Something big is brewing and he doesn't want to talk about it.

Brooke: Uh-huh. Animal, mineral, or vegetable?

Tad: Well -- ok, it does involve Babe and J.R. You know, I don't know any more. I'll leave you to draw your own conclusions.

Brooke: Bad. This is bad. J.R., Jamie, and Babe, you, David, and Krystal all bound up in something together? This is trouble, believe me, Tad. It's big trouble.

David: Stuart, we're looking for Babe.

Stuart: Oh, she went on a little outing with Bianca and Bess.

Krystal: What kind of outing?

Stuart: Well, just an outing. You know, out -- a picnic, pick up another baby along the -- sounds like fun, huh? See ya.

Babe: Bianca, this is Ace. Didn't I tell you he was precious?

Bianca: Oh, he's beautiful.

Babe: Did you hear that? Bianca thinks you're perfect, too. Yes, you are. A big, strong, beautiful boy.

Karen: Is that your baby girl, the one you told me about?

Babe: This is our little angel. And, Bess, there's somebody that I want you to meet, sweetie. Ace, I really want you to get to know Bess, ok? Because I think you two are going to be the bestest friends forever. Wouldn't that just be awesome?

>> On the next "All My Children" --

Jonathan: What does it feel like to fall in love?

Ryan: You deserve the big-daddy honeymoon, and nobody's going to stop me from giving that to you.

Kevin: Good to see you again.

Kendall: What's his name?

Woman: Paul Cramer.

Kendall: He's the guy that killed my sister's baby.

Zach: Show Mr. Cramer in, please.

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