AMC Transcript Wednesday 9/29/04

All My Children Transcript Wednesday 9/29/04

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By Suzanne
Proofread by Gisele

Ethan: Let me guess -- I'm being deported?

Derek: Jolly old England doesn't welcome back murderers.

Ethan: I didn't kill anyone!

Derek: Ryan Lavery died this morning. You just upgraded to murder one.

Ethan: That's impossible.

Derek: Hmm. Your Uncle Michael paid for his crimes, and so will you. Come on. The DA wants to see your sorry butt. Hey!

Ethan: Get out of my way now! Get down on the floor right now!

Derek: Don't be stupid, Ramsey! Put the gun down! You can't get out of here!

David: That must have been some dream. You look like dead man waking.

Greenlee: Ryan? Ryan? What are you doing out of bed?

Ryan: I'm sick of that bed.

Greenlee: Ryan, you don't have the flu or a cold. You were shot, ok? You were in surgery for hours and hours.

Ryan: Aidan called, all right? Ethan Ramsey was arrested last night.

Greenlee: So what? Get into bed. Come on.

Ryan: I just want to get out of here.

Greenlee: When you are entirely healed.

Ryan: Fine. I'll sit.

Greenlee: It's a start.

Ryan: Ah. So Ethan --

Greenlee: Derek found himself staring down the barrel of Ethan’s rifle.

Ryan: Yeah, a fully loaded, long-range rifle.

Greenlee: Yeah. So I rest my case. Ethan tried to shoot you. He thought that the fastest way to the Cambias billions was to off you.

Ryan: Yeah, it's possible.

Greenlee: Possible? How many people do you know carry around a rifle like that just to claim their inheritance?

Ryan: I just can't picture that clown working alone, that's all.

Greenlee: You still think Zach Slater was involved?

Ryan: Hey, Maria.

Maria: Hey.

Ryan: You might have the answers that we need.

Zach: Excuse me. Ethan Ramsey was arrested yesterday. He's still being held?

Sean: We don't give that info to just anybody.

Zach: I'm not just anybody. I'm -- I can help him.

Sean: Great. Talk to somebody higher up.

Kendall: So, why are you so eager to help Ethan? What's it to you?

David: I've seen autopsies more relaxed and happier than you. If you're not guilty, take it easy.

[Keys rattle]

David: Finally. Open this cage so I can go home.

Derek: I'm opening it, but not for you.

David: Some people have all the luck.

Maria: Shouldn't you be in that bed?

Greenlee: Thank you. And she has an MD after her name.

Ryan: I think better sitting up.

Greenlee: Well, get in, and I'll raise the head of the bed.

Ryan: We were talking about the shooting.

Greenlee: Ethan Ramsey was arrested last night.

Ryan: Was Zach Slater involved?

Greenlee: He staged the whole murder game. Coincidence?

Ryan: Or cover?

Maria: I don't know. Can't help you there, guys.

Ryan: You can't or you won't?

Maria: No, it's just, you know, I'm really not good at detective type -- I can't even read murder mysteries. I have to read them twice to get all the clues I missed.

Ryan: Really?

Maria: Yeah.

Ryan: Well, Zach Slater was in the perfect position to orchestrate the entire thing.

Maria: I just dropped in to see how you're doing.

Greenlee: Oh, well, he's well enough to be making escaping noises. Will you guys excuse me? I have something that I have to check in on.

Ryan: Hey, where you going? Going to get reinforcements to get me back into bed?

Greenlee: No, I can get you back in bed all on my own -- later. I won't take long, ok?

Ryan: Ok.

Greenlee: See you.

Ryan: Ok.

Maria: See you, Greenlee.

Greenlee: Bye.

Maria: Well, from the look on your chart here, it looks like you're doing pretty well. How are you feeling?

Ryan: Powerless.

Maria: Think whoever did it is going to try to do it again?

Ryan: Yeah, the thought crossed my mind. You know, Greenlee was standing as close to me as you are right now.

Maria: Well, thank God she didn't get hit.

Ryan: Not this time. But whoever shot me obviously wants me dead, Maria, and I'm not. You know, so why wouldn't they try to correct their mistake? And Greenlee's not fine, all right? I'm not going to do this to her again.

Maria: Well, nobody wants anything to happen to you, believe me.

Ryan: You know, Maria, what it's like to love somebody so much, the thought of not being able to spend --

Maria: It's unthinkable.

Ryan: Right. The night of the casino fundraiser, you were in your little suite -- what do you call it?

Maria: Oh, the casita.

Ryan: The casita.

Maria: Yeah, Zach went to a lot of trouble re-creating that.

Ryan: Yeah, because he's still in love with you. Maria, that worried me, and it still does.

Maria: Well, I don't know why it should.

Ryan: Because the guy's -- ahem -- the guy has got trouble ending things.

Maria: Ok, if you say so.

Ryan: Not just with you, Maria, with -- I mean, with everybody he drafted for that whole murder game, his little photo gallery in his office, all of the suspects -- practically all of the suspects for Michael Cambias' murder mystery. The night of the fundraiser, you were worried because you thought he had a plan, and you were right.

Maria: Yeah, because Aidan and Edmund thought he was up to something.

Ryan: Well, he was. And he almost pulled it off without a hitch, all right? I was shot, but I wasn't killed. Greenlee was, like -- Greenlee was, like, a foot away from dying that night, all right? And what if Zach's shot misses next time? She always hangs around. We're always together now. I mean, I'm not going to risk her life.

Maria: Zach did not shoot you, Ryan. I can swear to that.

Zach: You look a lot like a woman that asked me to help Ethan prove that he's the real thing.

Kendall: So have you? Is he Michael Cambias' nephew?

Zach: I'm not sure about that.

Kendall: Ok, then why are you here?

Zach: But I am sure that he didn't shoot Ryan.

Kendall: All right, well, then that makes us a small support group of two. So welcome aboard.

Zach: So now you tell me.

Kendall: So why am I here? What is Ethan to me?

Zach: Yeah.

Kendall: I don't answer questions. I ask them.

Ethan: You feel safe without me in leg irons, huh?

Derek: Oh, you weren't eyeing my service weapon.

Ethan: Well, how could I not? It's so lovely and shiny.

Derek: You were thinking about jumping me.

Ethan: All right, I confess. You know, you should have your own TV show -- "Derek Frye: Psychic Cop." One night in your lumpy bed, two of your lumpy meals, I'm a broken man. I was going to take your gun there, try and bust my way out of here. The Pine Valley Bastille can't hold me.

Derek: Well, if you want to end up in the morgue, why don't you try it next time?

Ethan: Why'd you bring me out of the dungeon anyway, eh? You ready to grill me? Because personally I prefer poaching with a little bit of white wine.

Kendall: Ethan. Why is he handcuffed?

Ethan: For the safety of the free world. Can't you tell?

Zach: Here's the surveillance disc that you wanted from the gazebo the night that Ryan was shot. I haven't looked at it yet, but I'm sure it's all there.

Derek: Well, thanks. This ought to tell me whether I should keep holding Hayward for packing up Adam Chandler. But I need more. How many do you have?

Zach: Plenty from all over the grounds.

Derek: Oh, bring them all, everything you got. Particularly, any featuring my friend Ramsey here.

Tad: Hey! What a great surprise! Wow, you're up early. Well, that's ok. The good news is coffee's almost done. So how would you feel about a cup? Oh, hello, Pine Valley. Forget the coffee. I'm up.

Krystal: Good, because I have a favor.

Tad: Granted.

Krystal: I want --

Tad: I know exactly what you want --

Krystal: David.

Babe's voice: My baby didn't die in that crash. My baby boy -- he's alive!

Krystal: You believe it now, don't you? You know it. Ace is her baby.

David: Look, we're talking about Kevin Buchanan here, ok? I mean, do you understand how powerful this family is? They're right up there with the Chandlers. I hope to God you're right. Please let this swab prove that Ace is your son. Damn it.

[David sighs]

David: Even in the movies, Cagney had metal. Ugh. Hey. You, guard! Hey!

Guard: You got enough trouble without littering.

David: All right, look, look, look, when I was processed, they took away some personal belongings.

Guard: Yeah. So?

David: Yeah, well, there was something that Chief Frye confiscated, and it was extremely important. I need to get it back now, right now. I can't wait to be released. Now, isn't there some way to do that? Can I perhaps have it released to somebody else? Look, a patient's life depends on this, ok? So how do I get this done?

Guard: You don't.

Tad: Well, your pulse is steady. Your eyes are clear. Stick out your tongue.

Krystal: I'm not sick.

Tad: Oh, yes, you are. You show up at my house at the crack of dawn to tell me you want Hayward? You're not sick. You're delusional.

Krystal: Tad, I need to get David out of jail.

Tad: Hayward's in jail?

Krystal: Yes.

Tad: Outstanding! You know what? This place isn't big enough for the party. I think we should have a catered event. Valley Inn. What do you say?

Krystal: I'm serious, Tad!

Tad: Yeah, well, so am I.

Krystal: Adam is back.

Tad: Huh. Talk about the nick of time.

Krystal: What's that supposed to mean?

Tad: Oh, nothing, sweetheart. Just a friend of mine made a quick escape. So Adam's back. You know, big deal. The civil authorities decided to balance out the scum on the street by locking up David. If you think about it, actually, it's fair.

Krystal: Listen, Adam told the police that David had him packed in a crate and shipped off somewhere to Timbuktu or someplace with a lot of yaks.

Tad: So? Hayward gets points for imagination. I don't care. Prison's the best place for him. I think we should be working on making the case airtight. Only thing is, where are we going to stash the bloody packing slip? You want some juice?

Krystal: Tad, the only reason why David was messing with Adam was to help Babe, ok?

Tad: Oh --

Krystal: I owe him one.

Tad: Stop it! I may have been born yesterday, but I stayed up all night. That's not it. You're afraid. You have to spring Hayward, because you're afraid he's going to crack under the pressure and tell somebody what he knows.

Krystal: That's not it.

Tad: Yes, it is. David knows what you did, and so do I.

Krystal: Well, say it. What are you accusing me of?

Tad: I don't think you want me to spell it out for you.

Krystal: Yes, I do.

Tad: Really? After all this time of you killing yourself trying to keep it under wraps, you want me to throw it right out there on the table?

Krystal: I want you to.

Tad: Oh, you're so smug. I hate this. You know what's most frustrating? This is my job. I would be able to carry this off with anybody else but you.

Krystal: Well, what the heck did you --

Tad: Oh, don't play blond with me. Right now you're supposed to be spilling your guts, and you know it.

Krystal: And what did you expect to hear?

Tad: Oh, gee, let me think about it. Well, there's that secret you're keeping with Hayward.

Krystal: There's nothing --

Tad: Don't, ok? Stop it. Don't say that. It's annoying. It hurts my feelings. Nonetheless, I am incapable of taking advantage, because I'm stupid enough to be in love with you.

Krystal: And that's something to be angry about?

Tad: Well, it is now.

Krystal: Ugh.

Tad: Come on, you show up at my house and you expect me, of all the people the planet, to help you bail Hayward out of jail. Well, fine. You know what? I agree. I will pay his bail. I'll pay the bribes. I'll do anything. I'll stand on my head, as long as you tell me whatever it is you're hiding.

Krystal: I already explained everything --

Tad: No, no, no, no, no! I don't want to hear it, ok? Not that song and dance about helping out Babe with J.R., ok? I want to hear the truth, and I want it to come from you.

Krystal: There's nothing to tell, Tad.

Tad: Ok. Fine. Let's go spring Hayward out of the hoosegow.

Krystal: Just like that? Just like that, now you're onboard?

Tad: What do you mean, "just like that"? What, you missed the little chapter about me being madly in love with you? I'll go through it again. I can deny you nothing, you know? No wish is too great, no whim too wacky. Besides, you know, it might even be fun. It's like going to the zoo. We could poke Hayward through the bars a couple of times, throw some peanuts at him, and then release him on an unsuspecting society.

Krystal: What are you up to?

Tad: I'm not up to anything.

Krystal: Liar.

Tad: Takes one to know one, sweetheart.

Maria: So because Zach's a stranger to you, he's automatically a suspect?

Ryan: The guy worked pretty hard to earn that suspicion.

Maria: Yeah, ok, yes, it was definitely misguided to use a real police case.

Ryan: Michael Cambias' murder trial?

Maria: Yeah, but because of a game, you think he pulled the trigger?

Ryan: Well, the whole thing's a little strange, Maria.

Maria: Yeah, but that doesn't make him an attempted murderer.

Ryan: Look, you were concerned about him that night.

Maria: Yes, because I let everybody else's suspicions get to me.

Ryan: Ok. So what changed your mind?

Maria: I just know that Zach never intended for anybody to get hurt. He wishes he never even planned this whole murder game, and he was horrified when you got shot -- we both were.

Ryan: No offense, Maria, but when you've been in love with somebody, you tend to believe anything that comes out of their mouth, whether it's true or not.

Maria: But Zach did not shoot you, Ryan. I'm telling you, he is not the reason that you are in the hospital, I swear.

Ryan: And you can swear to that because?

Maria: Because the moment that you got shot, Zach and I were together.

Ryan: You and Zach -- where were you exactly?

Maria: We were in the security office watching everything happen on the monitors. We watched you get shot. We saw you go down. I saw the reaction on Zach's face when it happened, and he had no idea it was happening. He was shocked, and I know -- I know he didn't engineer it.

Ryan: And who else was with you?

Maria: No one.

Ryan: And who else knew that you were there?

Maria: No one but you. Edmund can't know about it.

Ryan: So does that mean that you and Zach --

Maria: No, no, no. Oh, no, no. And Edmund does know about before, when Zach and I --

Ryan: When you didn't know you had a family home waiting for you.

Maria: Right. And I should have told Edmund the second that Zach came to town --

Ryan: Because now he's wondering what you were hiding.

Maria: Exactly.

Ryan: Yeah.

Maria: And now, you know, he says that he's ok with it, but I don't think he's telling the truth.

Ryan: Or maybe he just doesn't want to face the truth. You know, if you and Zach are really over, then why don't you just stay away from the guy?

Maria: I can't. He needs a friend right now.

Ryan: Let him find another friend.

Maria: Look, Ryan, please -- really, please just believe me when I tell you that Zach had nothing to do with the shooting.

Zach: I want everything out in the open.

Derek: The discs should be a big help in both cases.

Zach: I'll get them to you right away.

Ethan: You here to see me, Kendall?

Derek: No, sweetheart, you're here to talk to me.

Zach: I don't think so.

Derek: Are you talking to me?

Zach: Yeah. Where's his lawyer?

Derek: Ok, I give. Where?

Ethan: Let's go. Come on.

Zach: Don't say anything to anyone without legal counsel.

Ethan: You're not my boss.

Kendall: Ethan, for your own good, just listen to him.

Ethan: For your own good, Kendall, you were supposed to reconsider saving me.

Derek: You know, Ramsey’s been advised of his rights and he's agreed to talk to us without an attorney present, so relax.

Krystal: Chief Frye? We're here to bail out David Hayward.

Derek: Well, you know what? You wasted a trip. Hey, Lyman? Why don't you two take him to interrogation. Look, Hayward stays where he is.

Krystal: He has rights!

Derek: Hey, hey, what is with the planets today? I'm not denying anybody of their civil rights. He hasn't been bailed out, so he can't be arraigned.

Krystal: Well, what is taking so all-fired long? I mean, what, is this some kind of Adam Chandler power play?

Derek: Hey, Adam Chandler doesn't run this force!

Tad: Take it easy. The last place you're going to find him is in Adam's pocket.

Krystal: All right, look, Chief Frye, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to imply anything. It's just that I've had a lot to deal with lately.

Tad: It's been a rough week.

Derek: Yeah, try a year.

Tad: Well, doesn't he get visitors?

Derek: All right, I will get a uniform to escort you to holding.

Tad: I'll come with.

Krystal: You know what? Let's just not make it any worse than it already is, ok?

Tad: Ok, I'll call Jackson, see if he can speed up the arraignment.

Krystal: Ok, that's a good idea.

Tad: Yeah.

Derek: All right. Hey, Lyman?

Sean: Sir?

Derek: Would you escort Ms. Carey to holding?

Krystal: Ok.

Tad: Thanks.

Kendall: Ethan has no idea what he's up against. Derek is probably taping every word.

Zach: Not much we can do about that.

Kendall: But Ethan’s not even supposed to be here right now. If only I'd gotten that stupid rifle away from him. Derek had to show up at the worst possible time. What do you think's going on in there?

Zach: Whatever Frye gets out of him we can handle.

Kendall: How? Ethan is so angry, he's liable to say anything.

Zach: I called Jason Brill in New York.

Kendall: The lawyer? Even I've heard of him.

Zach: Well, hopefully, Ethan will listen to him. I'll call him right now, tell him we need him right away.

Kendall: Ok. I'll be on the lookout for rubber hoses and stun guns. Greenlee. How's Ryan?

Greenlee: You don't give a damn about Ryan. You wanted him dead.

Kendall: That's not true.

Greenlee: You didn't aim the rifle. You just played decoy and got Ryan dead in its sights.

David: This is the patient I was telling you about -- the one you refused to help? You'd better hope someone you love doesn't suffer from heart disease someday.

Krystal: David, listen, I'll call that lawyer that I heard Adam talk about in Philly.

David: There's no time.

Krystal: Well, they can't keep you in here much longer without setting bail.

David: Kiss me.

Krystal: What?

David: Look, there's no telling how long I'm going to be here. Chandler is lobbying to get me executed, all right? Now, listen to me. The swab -- they have it. It's in with my personal belongings. Now, there's no way that we're going to get to see Ace again, so you've got to get it back.

Krystal: How?

David: Just take it to a lab, ok? Get this test started. Now, it won't be easy.

Tad: Nothing worth having ever is.

Krystal: Tad, David was just --

Tad: Yeah, I know all about what David "was just," and it's a little surprising. I always assumed they put anti-frisky powder in inmates' food to keep you guys from molesting one another. Obviously, you're going to have to double this guy's dose.

David: Please tell me you didn't invite him here.

Krystal: Tad and I are working together to get you out of here.

Tad: It's not so shocking, David. After all, you are Babe's father, and anybody capable of packing off Adam to Nepal deserves a break. So I decided I'd give her a hand. Unfortunately, there's really nothing we can do, so I tell you what -- you have a nice life sentence. And, oh, yeah, by the way, when the soap hits the shower floor, prison etiquette dictates that the new guy picks it up.

Krystal: You're going to get set free, or I'm going to have Derek Frye wishing he was issuing parking tickets, ok?

[Cell door opens and closes]

Tad: Well, that should be quite a show.

David: You're wasting your time, Tad. Krystal's never going to marry you.

Kendall: Don't believe everything you overhear.

Greenlee: You afraid Ethan will rat you out?

Kendall: No. I'm afraid Derek will trick Ethan.

Greenlee: Into telling the truth? Then you'll be arrested for your part of the shooting.

Kendall: Ok, you have this all wrong.

Greenlee: You and Zach are so desperate to spring your partner, because you don't want to be dragged back into this.

Kendall: Calm down a second, Greenlee, and listen for one second --

Greenlee: You and Zach set up Ryan in this murder game, and Ethan pulled the trigger.

Kendall: No, he didn't.

Greenlee: But you admit you're a part of the scheme?

Kendall: No.

Greenlee: You thought you could get away with it. You're protecting Ethan so he'll protect you.

Kendall: No, ok, you got this all wrong. Yes, I want to help Ethan to protect Ryan.

Krystal: Oh, sorry.

Sean: Hey. Everything all right down there, ma'am?

Krystal: Oh, I was upset already. Now you're "ma'am-ing" me? Oh, it's just too much. You know, Dr. Hayward is really suffering down there emotionally and physically. I think he really needs something. Oh. I feel kind of faint. You know, really, I haven't eaten all --

Sean: All right.

Krystal: All day today. I'm just dizzy and --

Sean: Here.

Krystal: Oh, no. No, thank you. You know, normally my appetite is just, well, insatiable, but -- I don't know. I'm just -- I'm just so depressed because, I don't know. This whole arrest thing is just -- it's just torn me up!

Sean: Ok.

Greenlee: How long were you plotting this? Since Zach and Ethan came to town, or did you bring them here for your little assassination plan?

Kendall: No, I would never harm Ryan, not after the way I felt for him.

Greenlee: Past tense? Have you finally accepted that you're never going to have my husband?

Kendall: You know I have. You saw me at the hospital. I was worried sick that he would never make it.

Greenlee: How did you get them to cooperate? With sex?

Kendall: Don't be disgusting.

Greenlee: You did it with Jonathan. He was just too smart not to go back for seconds.

Kendall: You know what? I don't have to listen to this.

Greenlee: You slept with them and then you promised them with Ryan gone, you'd split Cambias three ways.

Kendall: Just shut up!

Greenlee: "Shut up"? I'll yell this station house down until you're arrested --

Sean: Hey --

Greenlee: And prosecuted to the full extent of the law!

Sean: Ladies, ladies, ladies, you have to keep it down.

Greenlee: This woman conspired to commit murder.

Kendall: No, I didn't, so shut up.

Greenlee: And the man who can tell you so is right in there talking to Chief Frye!

Sean: I don't care. If you don't calm yourselves or take it outside, I'm going to show both of you to a cell.

Greenlee: Lock her up. Lock her up -- and save the state some money. Put her in there with her boyfriend. Justice will be served if they both rot in prison!

Zach: Hey, I've got this one. Hey! Leave Kendall alone.

Maria: I'm telling you, Zach is innocent.

Ryan: All right, maybe he didn't pull the trigger, but he's hardly innocent.

Maria: He's got all kinds of resources. He's going to employ everybody to find out who the shooter really was. He's going to make them pay.

Ryan: Well, he's already got a head start. You didn't know that he's already got somebody taking the fall for him? Ethan Ramsey is in jail.

Maria: No, no, no, Ethan? Ethan? He would never do that to Ethan.

Ryan: Why not? What's so special about Ethan?

Ryan: You made it seem like Zach would gladly escort anybody to the electric chair except for Ethan, he's off limits.

Maria: No, no. No, that's not what I meant.

Ryan: Yeah --

Maria: No.

Ryan: I think it is. Why is it impossible for Zach to make Ethan take the fall for him?

Maria: Because Zach wouldn't let anybody take the fall for him. He takes responsibility for all of his actions. He's not going to let anybody suffer for him.

Ryan: Oh. Oh, I see. So you must be the exception to that rule. Oh, please, don't tell me that you think he's innocent as far as you're concerned?

Maria: Oh, come on --

Ryan: That guy has really gotten to you. I mean --

Maria: You think I'm a complete dingbat, that I'm being manipulated by him?

Ryan: No, I don't. I think he took advantage of you when you didn't know who you were or what you were doing there.

Maria: No, no, no, that honor goes to David Hayward. He manipulated me, not Zach.

Ryan: All right, maybe you're right about the past, but the guy's sure busy playing you now.

Maria: You don't know what you're talking about, Ryan.

Ryan: That night, and your little -- your little casita deja vu -- I mean, you were on high alert. You didn't trust the guy as far as your kids could throw him. Now all of a sudden he's a saint, Maria? He's obviously gotten to you again. He said all the right things --

Maria: Ok --

Ryan: Or made all the right moves and sucked you back in.

Maria: Enough. Enough, enough, enough, enough!

Ryan: Why, because I'm right? Why, because you're covering for a guy who's a criminal?

Maria: No -- no, he's not!

Ryan: He is playing on your memories of your affair.

Maria: He wouldn't -- you don't know him. You just -- you don't know him.

Ryan: You're right, I don't. Nobody does except for you. So now it's time to share. Maria, you don't owe that guy anything, trust me. What do you know about him that I don't?

Zach: What happened to your husband isn't Kendall's fault.

Greenlee: Now, why would I doubt your word?

Zach: I can imagine what you've been going through, and I wish it hadn't happened.

Greenlee: Afraid I'll file a civil suit against you and your casino if I don't get satisfaction in criminal court?

Zach: I don't blame you for being on the attack.

Greenlee: Oh, you don't what attack is, but you will. Ryan was cut down in your sleazy casino, which makes you just as guilty as she and Ethan.

Zach: Your husband took a bullet. That's very unfortunate, but it doesn't make you judge or jury. And you're going after the wrong people.

Greenlee: Hmm. Now, if you're not in on it with Ethan and Kendall, why are you so hot to defend them?

Zach: Because I can.

Derek: Before you were at Oxford, you had several run-ins with the law.

Ethan: Did I? What were they?

Derek: Well, your juvenile records were sealed, so I don't know -- yet.

Ethan: I was a spirited young lad, you know, full of pranks, which I outgrew. We done yet?

Derek: No, we haven't even started. You had motive to kill Lavery. You had the opportunity, and you had means to blow him away.

Ethan: Yeah, but if I'd actually done it, don't you think you'd have some shred of evidence?

Derek: Oh, well, we'll have that, just as soon as we get the ballistics report back.

Krystal: Huh. Well, you just spread sunshine everywhere you go, don't you?

Sean: Good OJ. It'll perk you up.

Krystal: Oh, well, you took care of that.

Sean: Feel better?

Krystal: Mm-hmm, much. How can I ever thank you?

Sean: I'm just a simple servant of the people, Krystal.

Krystal: Oh, no, you are much more than that, Sean -- much, much more. In fact, there's not a day goes by that I don't thank the good lord for making men like you.

Tad: You know what, David? I hate to disappoint you, but I don't think we're going to be planning a double ceremony -- you know, with me and Krystal and you and prisoner 78632.

David: You know, it didn't surprise me when Krystal told me that you had begged her to marry you.

Tad: I sense your not-so-subtle editorial hand at work. Did you say "begged"?

David: She didn't give you the answer you wanted because --

Tad: Because she wants to wait. Thanks a lot.

David: No, because she's stalling. She doesn't want the boom to drop, Tad. But she is going to say no. In fact, I'm going to make sure of it.

Tad: Yeah? From prison? I don't think you clearly understand your situation, Hayward, so let's review. From now on, the state makes all your decisions. And personally, I don't give a damn what you think or say about women, because it's perfectly obvious you don't know the first thing about them. You've never had a normal relationship with one. I mean, how many times have you had to blackmail a woman to get her into bed? Like poor Gillian. And then there's Erica, but, oh, that's right, you drugged her. And I don't know what you did to Anna to get her to marry you, but it certainly came in handy, because God knows how many times you hid behind her position on the force. And now you got Krystal running around trying to save your sorry skin. What do you got hanging over her head, huh? Some threat to Babe? Some dark secret from her past? Well, why don't you act like a human being and let it go? Because I'm not about to stand by and let you take advantage of her.

David: Yeah, because you've been so effective against me in the past, right? You know, I find it interesting that you neglected to add one other woman's name to that list of my conquests, Tad. What about Dixie? Why would you do that? Oh, maybe because I didn't have to play any games with Dixie. No tricks, no tactics. Dixie wanted me, Tad. And I'll tell you something else --

[Cell door opens]

David: We understood each other in ways that you couldn't possibly fathom.

Krystal: I see you boys managed to keep busy while I was gone. Come on, let's get out of here before you wind up sharing a jail cell.

Tad: That's probably a pretty good idea.

David: Any luck?

Krystal: With Derek? No. He is determined to press charges.

Tad: Well, for once, I'm on Adam's side.

Krystal: You know what? I shouldn't have asked you to come here.

Tad: No, you probably shouldn't have.

Krystal: You want to go?

Tad: Yeah -- like, yesterday.

Sean: Chief?

Derek: Hmm?

Sean: You've been waiting for this.

Derek: Right.

Kendall: Chief Frye, listen, about Ethan’s lawyer --

Derek: Might not matter.

Zach: Why's that?

Derek: The ballistics on the bullet we fired from Ramsey’s rifle.

Kendall's voice: I got it. I got it. I love it! I'm so smart! Look! Oh, my God. All right, let's open it. Oh, my God, it's -- oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, God, do you believe this?

Ethan: Since I came to this town, I'm ready to believe pretty much anything.

Kendall: Do you -- do you know what this means?

Ethan: I should duck?

Kendall: No. This means that I'm going to win.

Maria: Yes, Zach was important to me, but that doesn't mean that I'm hiding some deep, dark, crazy secrets about the guy.

Ryan: You been to confession lately?

[Phone rings]

Maria: Here, let me get it.

Ryan: Ah.

Maria: Here you go.

Ryan: Thanks. Hello.

Greenlee: Hi, honey.

Ryan: Greenlee. Where'd you go?

Greenlee: At the police station. Two people are helping Ethan Ramsey -- Zach and Kendall.

Ryan: Oh, cozy little trio.

Greenlee: Please. From what I hear, the shoot-you-up plot was definitely a three-way.

Ryan: Just a second. Don't go, don't go. Ok. Thank you for the information, ok? I'll see you soon?

Greenlee: See you.

Ryan: Can you get the --

Maria: Yeah.

Ryan: Thanks. So I -- I was wrong about Zach.

Maria: Yeah.

Ryan: He's not trying to pin the shooting -- that was Greenlee. She's at the police station. He's not trying to pin the shooting on Ethan.

Maria: Yeah. See?

Ryan: He's actually trying to protect the guy.

Maria: Told you.

Ryan: Because he takes responsibility for his own actions.

Maria: Zach did not shoot you, Ryan.

Ryan: What's the connection? Maria, why is Zach going to bat for Ethan? Ethan claims he's a Cambias. Zach makes me the victim of a Michael Cambias-themed murder game. That's not by chance. Tell me, please, how Zach and Ethan fit together.

Ethan: I think I already know the results.

Derek: The bullet fired at Lavery didn't come from your gun.

Ethan: Bingo. Who's got the key?

Derek: Go ahead.

Ethan: Anyway, Chief, better luck with the one who did it, eh?

Zach: So he's free to go?

Derek: But not too far. Don't leave town.

Ethan: Leave Pine Valley, this hospitable little town so warm and welcoming?

Derek: You know what? If you get the urge, resist it.

Sean: Sign here.

Ethan: I trust everything's here?

Sean: Mm-hmm.

Ethan: Thank you, Officer. Have a nice day.

Kendall: Ethan, wait, wait. Listen, why don't I take you to lunch, you and Zach and I? We can --

Ethan: No. I don't want to go anywhere with Slater.

Kendall: Listen, Derek has not dismissed you as a suspect, ok, so why not let Zach help you? You're not in this alone, Ethan. You've got me and Zach. Why not just join forces? What's holding you back?

Ethan: Why don't we go talk about it somewhere else, ok?

Kendall: Ok.

David: It's not about my arraignment.

Derek: It's a big day for you.

David: Really? Enlighten me.

Derek: Zach Slater is a real cooperative guy. He got us the surveillance discs from the gazebo at the casino. You know, where Adam accused you of playing post office? One of my people watched the whole thing, start to finish. Very enlightening stuff.

Krystal: Ok, tell me, was what you and David talked about so lousy that you have taken a vow of silence, or are you giving me the silent treatment because I dragged you along? Honey, I didn't want to do it, but I needed you to help me spring David for Babe's sake. I just should have known that he'd stir things up.

Tad: Oh, David's just being David, that's all. I'm just tired.

Krystal: Oh. I'm sorry to hear that.

Tad: I'm tired of David.

Krystal: Oh, good. Because I missed you.

Tad: Haven't gone anywhere.

Krystal: Honey, sometimes I just -- I have so much on my mind that I'm just -- I'm not in the mood as much as I'd like to be.

Tad: Well, the good news is you're obviously in the mood now.

Krystal: I can do that.

Tad: Ooh, no, no, no, I like doing it.

Krystal: You have protection?

Tad: Well, depends on how you define the word. Would this do? Don't let appearances fool you. It may look like an ordinary cotton swab, but it's powerful. So this is why you were so desperate to get to David?

>> On the next "All My Children" --

Tad: Whose cheek did you have to swipe to get ahold of this baby?

Jamie: Keeping a baby away from a mother is a horrible thing for anybody to do.

Babe: I just want Bianca to have her baby back.

David: Going to Llanview is way too risky.

Babe: Bianca, I need you to go somewhere with me.

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