All My Children Transcript Friday 9/10/04
Proofread by Gisele
David: Comfy, Junior? Why don't you give yourself a nice, big hug, mastermind? I can't tell you how happy it makes me feel seeing you all wrapped up like a dirty burrito. Come on! Let's see you David Copperfield your way out of this canvas dinner jacket.
J.R.: Go to hell, Hayward!
David: So is there anyone you want me to call other than your keeper, Adam? Because after all, I mean, he is all boxed in with his own problems right now. Father and son, cut off at their source? Hmm. I hope somebody up there's taking notes, because the world's a much safer place without you -- especially Babe and Bess.
J.R.: You know what? You ride the buzz, because you either kill me now, because when I get loose, I will make sure that you lose everything that you ever loved. And whatever's left over, I will feed them to my father.
Jamie: Where does it say you have to give up anything? I mean, look at you. That baby stays put from now on. J.R. has screwed himself into the ground and you've got Bess back where she belongs.
Bianca: With her mommy, where she's going to stay.
Jamie: Hey, if you're worried about J.R. coming after you again, it's not going to happen. You've got an army on your side. If J.R. tries any more stuff, I'll personally lead the charge against him. Just tell Bess that she's safe.
Tad: Believe it, Babe. There's no way Adam, J.R., or anybody else is ever coming between you and that baby ever again.
David: How long has it been since you heard from dear old daddy big-bucks, huh? Maybe I should call the police and have him reported as missing. What do you think? I'll tell you, I think it's a good thing that they stopped putting those pictures on milk cartons because Adam's mug on a milk carton would sour the entire dairy industry. Anyway, to be a missing person, you kind of have to be missed, don't you think? So what have we learned here? That although you and your father may have invented bodysnatching, I perfected it. Smart money says that your old man is in no position to bust you out of here. Heck, he's in no position to sit up. Get out of my face. Oh! Ugh! Agh!
Babe: J.R. has nothing to do with this. Bianca --
J.R.: No! No! No, let me go!
David: Get down! Nice body block. Hoogasian, huh? Good work, good work.
J.R.: This is a setup. I don't belong here. I am J.R. Chandler, Adam Chandler's son. If you let me loose, we'll buy you a house.
David: Yeah, last week he thought he was Warren Buffett, Jr.
J.R.: You will lose your job over this.
David: Yeah, right. Look, I would consider it a personal favor to me if you would just keep an eye out, ok, just in case he tries to make another break for it.
Hoogasian: I'm on it. Nice meeting you -- Mr. Chandler.
J.R.: Come on, Hayward. Come on, let me out of this thing! Man, it's too tight! I can't breathe!
David: What's the matter, huh? Life getting too real for you, huh? Are we too far out of your comfort zone, Junior? You put my daughter through every circle of hell to take Bess away from her, and now you're worried about your own pain, you worthless piece of garbage? Come here.
David: As far as I'm concerned, you deserve a hell of a lot more pain than just a cramped shoulder and a stiff back!
David: You listen to me, you punk. You're going to be begging to get back inside this jacket after this all plays out.
J.R.: You know what? Do you think you're going to get away with this, Hayward? It'll be your turn real soon, because you will get yours.
David: Oh, I've had my share, thanks -- enough to last me a lifetime. But you? Time to lose the attitude, the bankbook. And brace yourself, kid, because when the unthinkable hits, you're going to look back at time served behind these padded walls and you're going to think of them as the golden days.
J.R.: You're full of it.
David: Just give it 48 hours, Junior. Up until now, you've been bulletproof. Time for you to start bleeding.
Bianca: Babe -- are you ok?
Tad: That's what I'd like to know. I mean, I'm sure that Bianca would be willing to pick up her Godmother duties anytime, but --
Jamie: But you just got your baby back.
Tad: Yeah, no kidding. I think you'd want to wrap your arms around your daughter and never let go.
Bianca: Well, Babe is just letting me share in the love like she has ever since Bess was born. Right?
Babe: I -- excuse me.
Krystal: Babe? Babe, honey, Mama's here.
Krystal: Mama's here.
Babe: I can't. I can't do this alone.
Krystal: Want me to do it for you, sweetie?
Babe: No. No, no. Nobody else can do this. I -- I have to go.
Krystal: Go? Where?
Babe: My special place. I need help, Mama. Maybe he could show me.
Krystal: Honey, you do what's in your heart, but you please be careful because something nasty's brewing out there, ok?
Babe: I promise I'll be careful.
Jamie: Babe, where you going?
Babe: I -- I just -- I have something that I have to go take care of.
Jamie: Well, let me go with you. You don't look so great to drive.
Babe: Thanks, Jamie, but I'll be ok.
Jamie: Babe wasn't looking like her prayers were just answered when she left. Something's driving her crazy. You know what it is, Krystal?
J.R.: Hey, Hoogasian? You were really cool with Hayward earlier when he into that whole Dr. God routine. I mean, do you really think he's going to slap gold stars in your files? But you were totally onto him, weren't you? Those whole holier-than-thou MDs think that they smell better than everyone else.
Hoogasian: Like they don't pull on their pants one leg at a time, like the rest of us.
J.R.: Yeah, yeah. You got Hayward nailed there. He deserves to have one of these straitjackets wrapped around him. Listen, man -- I know that you can't let me out of here, but I will lay ten large ones on you if you make just a couple phone calls for me. What do you say, amigo?
Krystal: You want to know what's wrong with Babe?
Jamie: You saw her. She was barely holding it together.
Krystal: Well, look at it. She just found out in the worst possible way that her husband hates her guts, her marriage is a sham. She pinned all her hopes in her future not just on the wrong guy but on a cretin who wants to take Bess away. Don't you think she's kicking herself into next week for buying into J.R.'s lies?
Bianca: You know, nobody here is defending J.R., but Babe said that when she got her baby back, she would make sure that she stayed with her mother.
Jamie: Yeah, it makes no sense Babe taking off solo like that.
Tad: So what's going on? I mean, after all we went through, where's our big mother-and-child reunion? I mean, Babe's acting like she was going to make some grand pronouncement, she hands the baby on to Bianca, and then takes off. What is that?
Krystal: You want the truth? After everything you've done for Babe, you -- you deserve to hear it.
Tad: Well, I think so. I mean, I don't want to make you uncomfortable, put you on the spot, but --
Krystal: Please, it's not about me or my comfort. Life is messy. We all know that. Especially Babe. But you never hear her complain. She makes the best of things no matter what.
Krystal: We were always on the move. Check in, check out, move on. Six months in one place, and then put it in drive. No time to plant roots, let alone make friends, but Babe made them anyway. And she never asked for help from anyone. If she saw a kid go hungry at school, she wouldn't blink before giving them her own bologna sandwich. It got to be a habit of mine just packing two bologna sandwiches just so my own baby girl wouldn't go hungry. Fast-forward. Babe finds herself in deep trouble, starving for help, and you-all come along. I guess she's just not used to being on the getting end of so much love. And that's probably why she ran off. She just didn't know how to say thank you for so much.
Tad: Krystal, she doesn't need to say thank you.
Krystal: Yes, she does, Tad. She needs to find a way to let you-all know that no matter what comes down the pike, she loves you all so much. Near as much as she loves me and that precious baby.
Bianca: What exactly are you trying to tell us?
J.R.: Derek, get in here! I demand to be --
Livia: J.R., you don't look in any position to be making demands unless it's to double up on your meds.
J.R.: Livia -- I called for Chief Frye.
Livia: Yes, I was there when your summons came in, and I have to tell you my brother was not amused.
Derek: Oh, come on, Livia. It was the high point of my day. Please. J.R. Chandler barks out an order, and we drop our doughnuts and our coffee and come a-running.
J.R.: Don't look now, Frye, but you're here, and you can tell your little ride-along buddy to take a hike.
Livia: Oh, if it's all the same to you, I think I'll stay.
J.R.: Why? You told me you'd never represent me again.
Livia: I just want to make sure everything's done by the book.
Derek: That's right. Don't want any mess-ups stalling the wheels of justice.
J.R.: Justice? I demand a --
Livia: There's that word again.
J.R.: To have Babe, Krystal, Tad, Hayward all arrested for kidnapping, false imprisonment, harassment!
Derek: Whoa, whoa! Slow down there, Junior. That's quite a list of charges you got there lined up.
J.R.: Yeah, well, I will make them stick, and it's your job to get me out of this thing and go nail those dirt balls! What are you staring at? Get me out of this thing!
Derek: Hold on, hold on! Not so fast! I mean, you don't want to risk -- you don't want to risk poisoning this case by jumping the gun. I mean, you're a Chandler. You're the man with all the power. I mean, it's best to get this down so we don't have any questions later about who's telling the truth. Now, then -- name?
J.R.: Cut the crap, Derek. You get out there and you bust my wife's butt. Now!
Reverend: Babe. Welcome.
Babe: Evening, Reverend.
Reverend: Well, the chapel is really coming along, don't you think? Hoping to be back in business by Thanksgiving.
Babe: You've done an amazing job.
Reverend: We couldn't have done it without your prayers and your generosity. I have something I want to show you.
Reverend: I hope you like it. It's the design for the stained-glass window you commissioned.
Babe: Oh, Reverend. It's more beautiful than I dreamed. It's -- it's like -- like my baby boy came down from heaven just for me.
Bianca: Just now it sounded like you were trying to prepare us for something bad. What you said about Babe --
Krystal: All I'm trying to say is doubt anything else in this world, Bianca, but never, ever doubt that Babe loves you and this baby. And I just hope you love her back the same way.
Bianca: Oh, you know I do.
Krystal: Just -- just remember that, ok, when things get crazy, because she's going to need all the love that you can spare.
Tad: You're talking about J.R.?
Krystal: Yeah. Honey, getting Bess back was just the beginning. J.R. is going to hire a fleet of attorneys to destroy Babe.
Tad: Yeah, he's undoubtedly already retained the law firm of ugly and uglier.
Jamie: Well, there's no reason to question whose side we're on. You know we'll have Babe's back all the way.
Bianca: Yeah, absolutely. I mean, as much as I hate courtrooms, I can't wait to take the stand and tell everyone what an amazing mother Babe is to Bess. You know, I think that Bess could use a little fresh air.
Jamie: Hey, you would, too, if you'd been in a mental ward.
Bianca: All right, what was that all about?
Jamie: Beats me. Krystal is worried about Babe. So am I.
Jamie: Yeah, your mama can't fool me.
Bianca: What do you mean?
Jamie: Well, she just got her baby back. So why did she leave looking like she lost her best friend?
Bianca: Well, you know, J.R. was her best friend before he shafted her.
Jamie: It's deeper than that. I mean, you heard Babe right before she gave you Bess. She said that it had nothing to do with J.R.
Bianca: So you can feel it, too. Babe is hurting.
Jamie: It's beyond hurt. Babe is torn up and bleeding inside.
Tad: Whatever you got rattling around inside of you, it's way too big for one person to bear. That about right?
Krystal: You nailed it.
Tad: Ok. All I want to know is no matter how crazy things get with Babe, J.R., and the baby, you think there's any room in that big old heart of yours for me?
Derek: Let's review what we got so far. Dang. Livia, you got a pencil?
Livia: Hmm. 24-karat gold, given to me the last time I was honored by the Bar Association. I want it back.
Derek: What do I look like, a pencil thief? Ok, J.R. -- hey, this is nice.
J.R.: Can we move on? Babe has Bess, and she could be anywhere by now!
Livia: That sounds a little more like your MO.
Derek: Well, as far as I know, it's not against the law for a mother to take her own daughter on a trip. I should look Babe up in the next day or two, ask her a few questions.
J.R.: A day or two? A day or two's too late.
Livia: Well, you won't be asking her any questions without me being present.
J.R.: What? You don't have anything to do with this, thank you very much!
Livia: Oh, I have everything to do with it. I'm Babe's attorney.
Derek: Say what?
Livia: I'm representing Babe in her divorce and custody case.
Derek: Well, then you shouldn't be here.
Livia: Why not?
Derek: Didn't they cover conflict of interest in your law school?
Livia: Do I look conflicted?
J.R.: Get out of here. You have no right to be here.
Livia: I'll tell you what, J.R., when the inmates take over the asylum and elect you head crazy, that's when I'll take orders from you.
J.R.: Derek, Reggie attacked me and you turned your head. Hayward did this to me, but I'm not going to let him get away with it. I have the law on my side. Hate me all you want, but you're supposed to protect my rights!
Livia: May I?
Derek: Take it away, counselor.
Livia: Uh, J.R., about your rights -- you have the right to shut up and listen. You have the right to an attorney, and whoever that sucker is, I say bring them on because I'm loaded for bear. You have the right to bark orders and throw your money and your weight around like you're somebody, but we're all somebody under the law. So you'll get your day in court, and when you do, that blind lady with the scales is going to dish out justice, and you're going to have to lap it up with a "Yes, ma'am" and a smile on your face. How's that for rights?
Derek: Unless you want to plead insanity?
Palmer: Chief Frye, I demand you release this young man immediately.
Opal: Just hold your horses, mister. Now, they wouldn't have J.R. trussed up like that if he wasn't a danger to himself or to somebody else.
Palmer: Silence, woman.
Opal: Don't hush me, you old buzzard.
J.R.: Oh, Uncle Palmer. Can you get me out of here? Can you get me out of this nut house, please?
Livia: Mr. Cortlandt has no jurisdiction here.
Palmer: The devil I don't. J.R. is my great-nephew.
Opal: Yeah, who only calls when he wants a favor.
Palmer: How would you like to have a nice, padded cell in this institution with a lovely view of the parking lot?
Opal: Are you threatening me? He is threatening the mother of his child!
Livia: Mrs. Cortlandt, do you need representation?
J.R.: Where's my lawyer? That's what I want to know!
Derek: People, people, people, please! Can we bring this down to a roar?
Livia: So sorry, Chief. Do you mind if I explain to Mr. Cortlandt the allegations against J.R. so he can make an informed decision?
Derek: Like I could stop you.
Livia: I mean, there's always a first time. Mr. Cortlandt, you think you have your mind made up about J.R. Well, let me blow that wide-open.
Reverend: Babe? Something troubling you? If you'd like, we could go inside and talk.
Babe: Thank you, Reverend, but I'm -- I'm here to connect with a higher power.
Reverend: The Lord is always listening.
Babe: I know. This prayer I'm -- this prayer I'm sending up to somebody else.
Reverend: Well, I'll leave you alone.
Reverend: If there's anything you need, let me know.
Babe: Oh. Hey, my angel boy. Oh, God. Your mama's in so far, so deep. I have to give back a baby that I don't even have a right to hold, a little girl that I love like my own. Oh, please help me.
J.R.: Uncle Palmer, who are you going to believe, huh? Your own flesh and blood, or these jealous little people?
Derek: J.R., why don't you tell Uncle Palmer where you kept Bess hidden when Tad and Hayward found her?
J.R.: Come on, what difference does that make?
Livia: Oh, I think you know. He kept her here in this institution.
Opal: Are you all right, Palmer?
Palmer: You kept her here? Uh, this was your -- this was Dixie's prison. You kept that child in this place, away from its mother, the way Adam kept Dixie away from you? Oh, Junior.
J.R.: Uncle Palmer, no. I was just trying to keep Bess safe.
Palmer: God. What has Adam done to you that you should show such disrespect to your mother's memory?
J.R.: And I'd do it again in a heartbeat if it meant protecting my daughter. You don't know what Babe's like. Her and her mother both, the rhubarb twins. Everybody buys into their whole Podunk ways and their -- their country-girl simple life!
Palmer: I'm from the hills, and so was Dixie.
J.R.: Yeah? My mother was nothing like Babe!
Palmer: Well, maybe not, but you, unfortunately, are the spitting image of your father.
Opal: And everybody knows what Pete Cooney feels about Adam Chandler.
Palmer: Derek, you just do as you see fit, but my advice to you is to keep this person behind bars until he grows a human heart.
J.R.: No -- Uncle Palmer! No, wait! Opal, don't do this! No! Come on, you got me all wrong!
Derek: No, J.R., you got it all wrong.
David: I got to stop thinking about Babe's son. Another loss, another failure. Unacceptable.
David: Unacceptable. Grief is giving in. God? I've paid enough. And now you want me to lose Bianca, too? Lose her love, her respect? The body count rises. And they call me a sadist. This -- this is beyond cruel. I have nothing on life. Absolutely nothing.
Krystal: Tad, I wish there was room in my heart for everything that was as good for me as you are.
Tad: Well, that's a good answer. Unless, of course, that's another one of your subtle ways of telling me you got a bad case of the yips. In which case, you got to know, I mean, you just have to believe that no matter what occurs with J.R. or Adam or anybody else, I will always, always be on your side.
Babe: I have a big hole in my heart.
Babe: I'm just afraid it's going to keep getting bigger. I've already lost you and your daddy. And now I have to lose Bess and the best friends that I've ever had.
Babe: God, Bianca's going to kill me. And Jamie -- oh, God. Jamie's just going to plain hate me. They're going to cut me dead. And I don't even blame them. Because what I've done is so unforgivable. So if I have to lose them along with losing Bess as part of my punishment -- I can't-- for what I did to Bianca -- I took her little girl and I -- I put her in her arms and let her fall in love with her, like I was giving her some gift, when really I was the one that was doing all the taking. I had no right to do that. And I have to make things right. I do. I just -- I just don't have the guts. Please, my angel boy, can you help me be brave? Can you just show me the right thing to do?
J.R.: You people have no idea what drove me to this. You've made me out to be the primo bad guy, but trust me when I say this -- you're just as much victims in this deal as I am.
Derek: Duly noted. I'm going to remove these restraints and get you out of here.
J.R.: You certainly wasted enough time.
Derek: The bad news is I'm arresting you for attempted murder.
J.R.: You're going to what?
Derek: Attempted murder for slipping your wife a controlled substance.
J.R.: You're crazy. You can't arrest me.
Livia: Pay attention, J.R. He's doing it.
J.R.: Yeah? He has no proof!
Derek: You may be right. Can't win them all. But it doesn't mean I have to roll over on the tough ones. This old dog loves the thrill of the chase.
Krystal: That was -- that was some kiss.
Tad: Well, I practice a lot when I'm by myself. Got you to smile. That's a start. I swear to you, one way or another, I'm going to break into that heart of yours. So you could save us all a hell of a lot of time and trouble if you just hand over the key. Unless, of course, you've got, you know, one stashed under some hydrangea bush somewhere.
Krystal: I don't know. You know, you might let some strange women in when I'm in a bad mood or something.
Tad: How strange?
Krystal: Well, you know, like Liza and Simone --
Tad: Oh, come on, why do --
Krystal: Your personal harem.
Tad: You know, it wasn't a harem. You know, it wasn't a harem. I -- I picked you. As if there was some kind of competition. I picked you.
Krystal: I know, and that's what I don't get. I mean, what shot me to the top of your list?
Tad: Truth? The fact is I didn't think I could fall in love with Liza or Simone. Kind of makes a guy want to stuff his harem T-shirt back in mothballs, know what I mean?
Krystal: In case you need it again?
Tad: Oh, yeah. Oh, for sure. You never know when you're going to need to wash the car or scour the kitchen.
Krystal: Tad Martin goes radically mature, huh?
Tad: No, not on your life, sweetheart. Unless, of course, it happened to me, you know, snuck up when I wasn't looking -- which is highly possible, because all I've been looking at lately is you.
Krystal: What are you trying to say to me, Tad?
Tad: I'm sorry, but no matter how fast and easy or free and loose you want to play it, where you're concerned, there's no safe anymore. Not for me. We passed that a long time ago. Alls I want to do is stash the parachute in a hangar and strap on the wings and take off, and, sweetheart, I am ready anytime you say.
Krystal: Where we going?
Tad: I don't know. I hadn't thought about filing a flight plan. The only thing I know is I would purely love to wake up to you from now on, every single day.
Krystal: Every single day?
Tad: Yeah. Every single day. No pressure. Just for the rest of your life.
Babe: Ok, angel boy. You lead your mama towards home. God, I don't know which way to go. Left or right? Ok, little one, right it is.
Tad: Krystal Carey, I'm sorry it's so frightening, but I am very much in love with you. I don't want you to leave town, ever. I want to make this real. I want to marry you.
Jamie: Babe and Bess would've been a whole lot better off if the DNA said Bess was mine.
Bianca: Well, there's no argument there.
Jamie: I know I'd be a lot happier if this little girl was mine.
Bianca: Really? You wish that Bess were yours?
Jamie: Yeah, I do.
Bianca: I wish you were mine. I would give anything to be Bess' mother. Oh, don't worry. I've given up kidnapping. But I can dream.
Jamie: You don't have to dream, Bianca. There's no way Babe would shut you out of Bess' life like J.R. wanted.
J.R.: This is the first day of the rest of your life. I'm going to make sure that you regret every sunrise.
Derek: You know, you're more poetic than most perps, but you smell the same -- guilty. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney --
Livia: That's a laugh.
Derek: One will be appointed for you free of charge.
Livia: Oh, I love it when the good guys win.
David: I'll take whatever I have coming to me. But Babe and Krystal? They've had enough. Leave them out of this. Just --
David: Just give Babe a chance.
Babe: Hi. Excuse me.
Waiter: Oh, hi. How can I help you?
Babe: I got all turned around. I'm trying to find my way back to Pine Valley. Do you think I could maybe grab a cup of coffee and a map from you?
Waiter: Of course you can. Why don't we get you seated first? Right over here.
Babe: Ok. Thank you.
>> On the next "All My Children" --
Babe: That guy -- he just -- he just seems familiar.
Kevin: His sister is Ace's mother.
Tad: I'll do anything to get you to stick around for the rest of my life.
Krystal: I'd love that.
Tad: That's a yes?
Greenlee: I just called the police. They're coming to take you to jail for attempted murder.
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