AMC Transcript Thursday 8/5/04

All My Children Transcript Thursday 8/5/04

By Suzanne
Proofread by Gisele

Zach: Maureen and Maria are not that different.

Maria: You are not hearing me, Zach. That was then and this is now, and we are over because we have to be over. So if you came here thinking we were going to just pick right up where we left off, then you need to pack up that painting and go, because you wasted a trip.

Kendall: Bobby. Tell me that look on your face is afterglow.

Bobby: Let's make this fast. I don't have much time.

Kendall: Really? Got to get back to bed? Greenlee under the covers waiting for seconds, thirds?

Bobby: Not even close.

Kendall: Well, then how close? Did you get some buttons undone, earlobes nibbled, maybe some heavy petting? Come on, Bobbo, throw me a bone here. Are you two at least holding hands?

Bobby: Let's lose the scorecard. Greenlee and I aren't happening.

Kendall: Try harder. I paid you to seduce Ryan's wife.

Bobby: Change of plans. I'm not going to risk my marriage. The only wife I'll be seducing will be my own.

Tad: I know it sounds strange, but I give you my word nobody in this room has lost it.

Jamie: I'm totally clear.

Derek: You're serious?

Jamie: Straight up.

Derek: You want me to revoke your bail and lock you up pending a trial?

Jamie: You got a problem with that?

Derek: Yeah, I have a problem, Jamie! I have a lot of problems with it! You want me to count them out? Or maybe I should just forget about this and pretend that this --

Tad: No, no, no, half a second. You know, you're not helping anything. Look, in all the years you and I have been pals, how many times have I asked you for a favor?

Derek: I'd run out of fingers and toes, Tad.

Tad: Ok, fine, you know, and point taken. And I'm telling you as my friend, if you give a damn about me or my son, you will arrest him all over again and throw his butt back in the slammer.

[Shower runs]

[Knock on door]

Babe: David? It's me, Babe. I know you're in there.

[Shower runs]

Babe: David? Hello?

[Shower stops]

David: Who's there?

Babe: It's Babe.

David: Be right out. Hey.

Babe: Sorry to drag you out of the shower. I just -- I knocked.

David: How'd you get in?

Babe: The door was unlocked.

David: Too many people slam it on the way out. I assume that's why you're here. I have to admit, I'm surprised that you'd show up.

Babe: I had every right to be angry.

David: Quote -- "You're not my father anymore." So unless I stop siding with Jamie and half the town against your husband, I'm out of yours and your daughter's life for good, right? So what brings you to the enemy camp?

Babe: After you left, I had a bad feeling.

David: About me?

Babe: Everything. I don't know, it's just no way for me to live, to have to choose between my father and my husband.

David: Well, J.R. forced the choice when I caught him drugging your drink.

Babe: See? There you go again, just talking all this craziness. You're making it impossible for us to be a family.

David: Trust me, J.R. does not want me as family.

Babe: Well, he came here just like he said that he would. Well, and that's why I'm here -- to see if he got through to you. Can we all just chill out and get along?

David: So as we're all holding hands and forming this chain of love, what will your husband be doing?

Babe: David, I came here to try to make things right between us.

David: No, that's not true, Babe. That's not why you're here. I wish you'd be honest with me.

Babe: Look, you don't even know me. Ok, fine. What am I really doing here?

David: You're fishing. You want to know what went down between me and J.R. because you're starting to think that maybe Jamie is innocent and your husband is guilty.

Derek: Are you two sober?

Jamie: Totally.

Tad: Bring on the Breathalyzer if you don't believe me.

Derek: And you're not punking me?

Jamie: No. This is strictly on the level.

Derek: All right. I'll hear you out. Walk me through it. But if you're trying to confess to something, remember my job's arresting people.

Tad: No, wait a minute, Jamie hasn't done anything illegal.

Jamie: Derek, you've been a cop a long time.

Derek: Too long some days.

Jamie: Ok, the case against me -- is it bulletproof?

Tad: By all means, go ahead. What's said here stays here. In your professional opinion, do you or do you not think the charges against Jamie stink?

Derek: You clearly do. Keep talking.

Tad: Well, how excited are you about having a known drug dealer as the chief witness for the prosecution?

Derek: What can I tell you, Tad? It is what it is. He's all we've got.

Jamie: No, you've got me. Derek, I can build a solid case for the state and hand it to you gift-wrapped with a little bow on top. Just put me in a cell with Seth and let me go to work on him.

Derek: What if he goes to work on you, huh? Tell me, Tad, what if your son gets shanked before he finishes tying up that little bow?

Krystal: We appreciate all you've done for Bess.

J.R.: Krystal? What's going on?

Krystal: I was just telling Beverly what a big help she was with Bess.

Beverly: But my services are no longer needed.

J.R.: Where do you get off? You don't hire and fire staff.

Krystal: Well, that was Babe's decision, seeing as she has nothing but time to spend with her little girl.

J.R.: Babe doesn't fire, and neither do you.

Krystal: Well, excuse me for thinking that I was part of this family.

J.R.: Beverly, can you excuse me for a few minutes?

Beverly: Yes, Mr. Chandler.

J.R.: Thank you.

Krystal: Since when doesn't a mama have the right to decide who takes care of her kid?

J.R.: Babe should've run it by me first.

Krystal: Oh, really? She needs permission to hire or fire a babysitter? J.R., come on, most men would be happy to let their wives deal with that, and you're popping an artery? J.R., what is going on? What is the deal with you? Come on now, something is not in line here!

J.R.: All right, Krystal, I'm sorry. I overreacted. I lost it.

Krystal: Honey, I've felt cooler blasts from a furnace.

J.R.: I shouldn't have raised my voice.

Krystal: You know, the funny thing is sometimes when people open their mouths and something nasty pops out, a little bit of truth pops out with it.

J.R.: I said I was sorry.

Krystal: Barely. What is this? Some kind of Chandler control-freak thing?

J.R.: Why can't control freaks control themselves?

Krystal: I just don't understand, J.R., why you're so crazy about nanny iron pants, who has the maternal warmth of an ice cube.

J.R.: Beverly came highly recommended.

Krystal: Yeah, as what? As a way to help you keep Bess from bonding with her mother?

J.R.: Of course not.

Krystal: I need a little bit more convincing.

J.R.: Ok, Krystal. I have my own reasons for hiring Beverly to watch over Bess.

Krystal: Why don't you just skip the windup and give me the pitch?

Kendall: Well, I am such a sucker for a happy ending. You and your wife reunited? Ain't love grand? Make that 200,000 grand, paid out in cash. That was part of our deal, Bobby.

Bobby: Deal's off.

Kendall: Oh, I don't think so. See, you took my money, and since you're still alive with two working kneecaps, I assume that you took the cash and used it to buy your way out of whatever jam you were in.

Bobby: Yeah, yeah, it came in pretty handy. Thanks.

Kendall: Keep your thanks, Bobby, and just live up to your end of the bargain, ok? Bed Greenlee. Move in, make out, and then move on with your sweeta Anita, or whoever floats your boat.

Bobby: Tell me, Kendall -- you ever get the feeling that you've been royally hosed?

Kendall: Oh. Oh, say it ain't so, Bobby. Don't tell me I've been had. No, no, you promised me.

Bobby: Oh, no, no, no. I lied when I said that I'd sleep with Greenlee so that you could stick it to Ryan. She deserves a lot better. So does my wife.

Kendall: Ok, what about the money that you took from me?

Bobby: Don't worry, you'll get it back when my investment hits. I was never going to steal it, just like I wasn't going to let you pimp me into this payback scheme of yours.

Kendall: Man. Man, you just don't know who you can trust anymore. I mean, whatever happened to loyalty and honesty and playing by the rules?

Bobby: Sorry I didn't play fair like you do.

Kendall: Yeah. I'm sorry, too, Bobbo.

Bobby: What's this?

Kendall: When you care enough to send the very worst.

Zach: Edmund. Didn't hear you come in.

Edmund: Must be my stealth wheels.

Zach: So what can I do for you? Almost time for a cocktail. What do you think?

Edmund: Sounds good. I'll take the truth, straight up.

Kendall: Yes, sir, every picture tells a bedtime story. Look at you and Greenlee, looking pretty intimate there. On the verge to merge, or has the deed been done? Depends on the angle, really.

Bobby: We're fully dressed. Nothing happened.

Kendall: Ah, no, no, no, no, the camera doesn't fib. Did you find my favorite one, the moonlight bouncing off the lust in your eyes? Let me see if I can find it. Oh, yes. Hmm. Here it is. Notice how the genius behind the lens captured and used the natural light to really capture your desire. You were so on fire, you probably didn't even notice that high-rise across the street. Bird's-eye view. Next time, you might want to stay inside and buy some drapes. But, hell, I'd sell tickets to this free show and make a mint -- or put a rocky marriage out of its misery.

Bobby: I didn't even kiss Greenlee, and yet you're going to send these off to my wife, you know, probably with the traditional note, "From a caring friend"?

Kendall: Oh, I really don't care about anything, Bobby -- not about you or your marriage.

Bobby: Right. All you care about is settling the score with Ryan, right?

Kendall: Yes, you see, and I can't do that if you don't help me. So you see, I really don't want to ship these hot shots off to Anita.

Bobby: Yeah, I know what you want.

Kendall: I believe you, Bobby. See, I do. You might not have latched on to Greenlee's bloodless lips, but you see this mood here, this mood? Uh-uh. That can't be faked. Look at her. Greenlee is just an open invitation for you to have your way with her. So if at first you don't succeed, lie and then lie again.

Bobby: You're reading the photos all wrong. Greenlee's not interested.

Kendall: No, look again. She's a wedding vow waiting to be broken. Just blow in her ear and she'll be yelling "Ryan who?"

Bobby: No, you got it all wrong. Greenlee loves her husband.

Kendall: Well, we all do stupid things in the name of love.

Bobby: Right, yeah, and you'd be the expert on that -- oh, but you don't know what love is.

Kendall: I know you love Anita, and what she doesn't know won't hurt her or your big second chance. You can keep her out of the loop as you always have.

Bobby: God. Are you for real? Are you even halfway human?

Kendall: Ok, see, the key word here, Bobby, is "progress," all right? We're living in a digital age here, people with grudges and cell phones zapping photos at the touch of a button. Compromising positions? We've all been there. Think about it. I will give you one last night with Anita to reconsider.

Bobby: Go to hell. What if I show these pictures to Anita, huh? Then you'd be alone and out of luck -- story of your life.

Maria: Hey, Anita. How do I come up with the most romantic, magical evening on the planet in absolutely no time and with no notice?

Anita: Uh, call your fairy godmother?

Maria: Yeah, except for she's at a convention.

Anita: Well, then I guess you're stuck with me. How does moonglow and candlelight sound for the first course?

Maria: Perfect. Ok, Edmund is in for a big surprise. Let's go.

Edmund: Thanks.

Zach: Well, I don't know what you've heard about me, but I got to assure you 99% of it is fiction, the other 99% lies. Just I inspire urban legend, I guess.

Edmund: Well, unfortunately, as a reporter, my first loyalty's to the truth.

Zach: So you're here with "Tempo," right? I didn't know that the publisher/editor would find his own scoops.

Edmund: Oh, well, you're big game, Slater. Come on, there's a lot of buzz about you. Zach Slater -- who is he? Why has he chosen this humble burg to call home?

Zach: Don't do that. Pine Valley's a nice place, got a lot to offer.

Edmund: Mm-hmm. Still, it's 180 degrees from the bright lights of Vegas.

Zach: Well, it's that and the fact that no one knows me.

Edmund: You seek anonymity.

Zach: I seek a low profile.

Edmund: And yet you've taken no pains to hide your involvement with the Miranda Montgomery Center. Very public speech, everything on the record. Very nice speech, by the way.

Zach: If I believe in something, I take a chance.

Edmund: You always been a gambler?

Zach: All my life.

Edmund: Remember the first time you ever placed a bet?

Zach: Here's my bio, high points.

Edmund: Oh, yes, Zach Slater. Wildcatter, lumberman. Won your first casino in a poker game, yeah. I never do an interview unprepared. Besides, your résumé's been through the PR cycle so many times. Let me see. Businessman of the year. Mayor's commendation for this and that. What about the real Zach Slater, 10 years ago, before anybody knew he existed? What? Think nobody would notice?

Maria: Honey, thank you so much for helping me out.

Anita: Well, I'm a sucker for romance, too. Anyway, what brought this on?

Maria: I just had a bad, weak moment, and I finally came back down to earth and I realized, you know what, the past is the past. It's not like I'm going back to it.

Anita: Ok. Could you be a bit more confusing?

Maria: It's just that, you know, I love Edmund and nothing else matters, and we've got a great life together, and I'm just -- I'm not going to let anything else hurt us. I'm just not.

Anita: Maria, what out there could hurt your marriage?

Zach: My bio is for public consumption. I prefer to keep my private life just that.

Edmund: Well, that's fine if what you're feeding them is true.

Zach: You may want to recheck your facts.

Edmund: You may want to set the record straight. Go ahead.

Zach: I think that your enthusiasm for this impromptu interview has left you with some sloppy research.

Edmund: Oh, actually, I pride myself on accuracy, Slater. I think "Tempo" readers will find your profile very interesting.

Zach: If you want to print fibs about me and my life, you could put some very dear people in danger.

Edmund: Is that a threat?

Zach: I don't believe in threats.

Edmund: Oh, good. Because neither do I.

Derek: Seth Phelps may look like a rich, useless slacker, but don't let that fool you. He's got a history of violent assaults from his time in juvie, and one with a deadly weapon.

Tad: Well, maybe -- maybe we should rethink this thing.

Jamie: No, there's no way. Seth has got a lot more to fear from me than I do from him.

Tad: Yeah, well, it's easy to say, James. Just make damn sure we got plenty of Pine Valley's finest right outside the door, all right?

Jamie: Dad, you know I got to do this.

Tad: I know, I know, and I will try to be ok with whatever you decide.

Derek: Excuse me. Chief of police? Hasn't decided squat?

Jamie: Come on, Derek. If the DA gets me on those bogus drug charges, I go to prison anyways. I mean, no one's going to be there to watch my back. I might as well take my chances now with Seth.

Tad: Jamie, tell him what Lily overheard at the groundbreaking.

Derek: Lily? Jack Montgomery's daughter?

Tad: Mm-hmm.

Jamie: Yeah. Lily heard J.R. talking to Adam, but J.R. didn't see her. He said something like, "Whatever else happens, I'm getting Babe out of my life. She's lost that baby."

Tad: That's why we're convinced it was J.R. that drugged Babe, because he's trying to get her out of his life.

Derek: Look, no offense, guys, but the word of an autistically challenged young woman is not exactly what the DA would call hard evidence.

Tad: Well, that's too bad, because you couldn't possibly get a more accurate witness.

Jamie: And if you believe what Lily heard, it's worth putting me in a cell with Seth to see what I can get off of him.

Derek: I hate days like this. Ok, look, I'll -- I'll run it by the higher-ups in the DA's office. It's their case. It's their call.

J.R.: Why not have the extra protection, right? Anyway, what's the point in being rich if I can't protect my family?

Krystal: What Bess needs is her mother's love, not some attack nanny.

J.R.: Krystal, the Chandlers are high-profile. Let's just say that Bianca is cured of her delusions. We're still a target. It just happened a few weeks ago when Bess was taken from the park in broad daylight while Babe's back was turned.

Krystal: Are you saying that that was Babe's fault?

J.R.: Of course not. But if Beverly would've been there, this whole nightmare could've been avoided. So why not keep her on if it gives us added peace of mind? Guess who popped into mine and Babe's bedroom. David Hayward. Seems he was strolling through the tunnels. He'd been there all night -- blankets, some of Lucretia's leftovers. Someone must have helped him make himself right at home. Now, I know that we don't always see eye-to-eye on everything, but about this nanny thing? Just cut me a break.

Krystal: Ok. Fine. Fine. Guess an extra pair of hands onboard to help change diddies can't hurt. As long as it's clear that the nanny takes orders from Babe and not the other way around.

J.R.: Mm-hmm. That was never in question.

Krystal: Just as long as we're understanding each other.

David: Good. You didn't run off.

Babe: I should have. Or I should've at least punched you in the nose for what you said about me doubting J.R.

David: Did I hit too close to home?

Babe: I didn't come here because I think J.R.'s guilty of anything. I came here because I need you to stop stirring up trouble for us.

David: And how could I ever do that, Babe, if J.R.'s love is as strong for you as you think it is? Can I fix you a drink?

Babe: Not when I'm driving.

David: Good girl. I've said this to you before, Babe -- your greatest strength is your greatest weakness -- your blind loyalty. You refuse to see what everybody else can see, and it's painfully obvious.

Babe: I'm so not having this conversation.

David: Fine, don't have it with me. But if I were you, I'd go see Maria Grey. She was in that ER the night that J.R. showed up playing his concerned-parent routine and making you out to be a no-show mom who'd rather be out partying than caring for her own child.

Babe: J.R. never --

Derek: I was there, Babe. So was Maria. You can doubt me all you want, but she has no reason to lie to you.

Babe: So what. J.R. -- he was scared. He was just worried about Bess. It doesn't make him guilty of anything. He's been nothing but kind and loving.

David: Boy. He really does have you brainwashed.

Babe: Here, drink some water. Are you ok? David, what happened? Can it get sour, the scotch?

David: No. It had some help.

Babe: What?

David: This vial was 3/4 full. I know it. There was enough in this drink to neuter the entire Eagles defensive line.

Babe: What? Whoa, that was the same drug that you whipped up to use on Michael Cambias?

David: Yeah. But whoever doctored my drink put too much in it. I guess I should thank God or else I never would've tasted it.

Babe: David, you don't think that I did it, do you?

David: No, of course not! But in light of my near castration, you're going to keep telling me that your husband is innocent?

Babe: You think that J.R. did this? You're out-and-out crazy.

Beverly: I'm fired?

J.R.: Nope. You're still on staff at double salary. Now, that's hazard pay for having to deal with Babe's mother.

Beverly: Oh. Yeah, Ms. Carey can be very stubborn.

J.R.: Well, she doesn't give you orders or sign your paychecks. Remember that. You report to me only.

Beverly: Yes, Mr. Chandler.

J.R.: All right.

Kendall: Why don't people ever do what you want them to do?

J.R.: And you want me to --

Kendall: Just take the edge off of my day.

J.R.: Did that help?

Kendall: Hmm, you are damn tempting, J.R., but one more complication I can't handle.

J.R.: Yeah, and my life would be perfect if I could get half the people out of it.

Kendall: Bad day?

J.R.: I've had better.

Kendall: Huh, you and me both. My plan to rip Greenlee out of Ryan's life hit a wall.

J.R.: My advice? Plow right through it. As you once told me a lifetime ago, if you want it, go for it.

Maria's voice: I love the desert, the long shadows the sun casts on the mesa at sundown, the sky with millions of stars, hot wind blowing down the canyons.

Zach's voice: There's a storm coming. It's gathering all through the mountains.

Maria's voice: Let it come. As long as I'm with you, I can take on anything.

Maria: I love it out here in the summer. The breeze and the crickets, it just smells so good.

Anita: It is a beautiful night.

Maria: It's lovely. It's just perfect.

Anita: It's going to be perfect. Maria, whatever could -- you know, your marriage, whatever it is --

Maria: No, no, no, you know what, I shouldn't have even brought it up. It's nothing. It really is nothing.

Anita: You know, I think I know what the problem is. I'm your sister. I know you. You know, you want to be close to Edmund, feel that passion again like it should be.

Maria: You know me too well.

Anita: I know more than that, and I think that tonight is going to be more perfect than you think. I had one of my bossy sister-in-law talks with Edmund, yeah, and I just -- I told him that all you wanted to do was love your husband.

Maria: And, you know, sometimes I lose sight of that, just forget how lucky Edmund and I are to have each other.

Anita: You know, it's not the first time that Edmund and I talked, you know, about resolving intimacy issues. I just tried to explain to him that there's other fun and, you know, creative ways to be together.

Maria: And what did he say? How did he react?

Anita: Well, I think that he's ready to put his pride past him and just move on to the next chapter. The guy is crazy about you, Maria, and he wants to make it work just as much as you do.

Maria: You know what, nothing in the world matters as much as my marriage, and I really -- I want to do everything I can to save it.

Jamie: Dad, you're going to get shin splints if you don't pull over.

Tad: Oh, it's just the breakfast cereal. After enough sugar-coated choco bombs, you're lucky I'm not somewhere on the ceiling.

Jamie: Well, it's the crumbled candy bar on top that gives you your sugar rush.

Tad: Yeah, that and sucrose, dextrose, and a lot of nifty fillers. I'm sorry, Jamie. You're going to have to forgive me. I'm sort of secretly praying that Derek shoots this thing down.

Jamie: No, I'm with you. I'm sorry, I'm just messing with you. You know this is the only way.

Tad: I -- I don't remember you being so courageous, you know? Stupid? Yeah. I've got an entire shelf full of home movies to prove it. But I've never seen you like this.

Jamie: Like my macho dad? The last time you needed a tetanus shot, I recall I had to drive you because you felt faint?

Tad: Why do you always bring that up? You know, I had a bad experience when I was a child with a vaccine. Big deal.

Jamie: Oh, really? What happened?

Tad: They ran out of lollipops. You know, prison isn't supposed to be fun.

Jamie: I've been there.

Tad: No, you haven't. I'm not talking about the holding cells. This is the real thing. This is a risk.

Jamie: No, I'm on top of the risks. But if I want to clear my name and stop J.R., it's the only way.

Derek: Ok. It's a go. But you got to sign all kinds of waivers.

Jamie: Ah, holding you blameless in case I come out deader than when I went in? Ow. Ok.

Tad: I'm sorry, Derek. He doesn't mean it. I don't know where he comes up with this wacky sense of humor.

Derek: Vintage Tad Martin. Now you know how it feels from our side.

Tad: Just promise me something when you're on the inside, ok?

Jamie: What?

Tad: No standup. You'll start a riot. Get it?

Jamie: Well, I got enough stuff here to pack to make this bail jump look real, so --

[Doorbell rings]

Tad: Excuse me. Krystal, look, if you're here to prop up J.R. any more, I'm just going to have to slam this door in your face.

Krystal: No, no, listen, as far as J.R. goes, I am just as scared as anything that you might be right.

David: You got to play it out, Babe. J.R. was the last person here before you showed up, his lame excuse to bury the hatchet.

Babe: To make peace.

David: Yeah, until my back was turned, and then he drugged my drink -- in very much the same way he drugged yours, I might add.

Babe: Why are you going all psycho on my husband?

David: Babe, look, I'm not crazy, all right? I saw J.R. put a pill in your glass of juice as early as this morning. And then you saw what happened just now with my drink of chemical castration.

Babe: All I saw was you spit something out. I don't know what's in there.

David: Fine. Go ahead. Take it with you to a lab. Have them test it.

Babe: You're the drug czar. You know, you probably doctored your own drink to make a case against my husband.

David: You know, that might make sense if I knew that you were coming, which I didn't. And do you honestly believe that I would offer you a drink if I knew? All right, look, if you're so convinced that J.R. is innocent, let me ask you a question -- have you two been fighting lately?

Babe: What does that have to do with anything?

David: When was the last time you two exchanged angry words?

Babe: I don't remember.

David: Really? Newlyweds are famous for their fights. Add to that the pressures of parenthood, and you're telling me that you and J.R. haven't had one stress-buster?

Babe: Not for a while.

David: But when you first hooked up, you had all sorts of lovers' quarrels, right?

Babe: Yeah, sure. He hated that I smoked, so I quit smoking, and he was always on me about being a junk-food junkie.

David: But not since you brought Bess home?

Babe: J.R.'s been as sweet as pie. Not one cross word.

David: Well, then there you have it. If J.R. Chandler's acting all sweetness and light, then I guarantee you you're in big, big trouble.

Zach: Did Dr. Hayward enjoy his drink?

Woman: He drank it, but then spit it out.

Zach: He what?

Woman: He spit it out. I failed.

Babe: J.R. knows how to take care of me.

David: That's what I'm worried about. All right, look, here's the deal -- when you get home, you ask J.R. straight out if he drugged my scotch. If he hits the ceiling, he's not guilty. But if he acts all wounded puppy dog and all vulnerable, then you better watch your back.

Babe: David, you may be my dad, but you are totally out of your tree.

Krystal: Tad, you have every right to throw me out, but I need to know what is up with Jamie, J.R., and Babe.

Tad: What's up? What's up? Ok, what's up is I'm about to step aside so one of my sons can prove the other one is a bald-faced liar. I'm about to let Jamie jump bail so Derek can arrest him, in hopes that once he gets in a cell, he'll grease the truth out of this drug dealer, this Seth -- whatever his name is -- and I'm doing it because I'm convinced that Jamie's the one telling the truth and that J.R. is completely out of control. So if I were you, I would run home as fast as I could on those shapely little legs and look after Babe.

Jamie: Ready.

Derek: All right, let's do it.

Tad: Not one word to J.R.

J.R.: At least I can make your day on one front. Wow. If this doesn't cut Ryan off at the knees.

Kendall: Well, it pains me to go to such an extreme, but life -- I mean, what's the point if you can't screw unto others who have screwed unto you?

Maria: Were you surprised? My evening of romance under the stars at Wildwind.

[Music plays]

Maria: I love this song. Do you remember the first time we heard it together?

Edmund: I have an assignment I'm working on for "Tempo." Some other time.

Zach: Don't worry. I haven't forgotten why I'm here. I was wrong to abandon you. But I will put it right.

>> On the next "All My Children" --

Derek: You know what you're in for on the inside?

Jamie: I plan to make it worth the risk.

J.R.: You can get Ryan out in time?

Kendall: I would never steer you wrong. You're good to go.

J.R.: The next sound we hear is Ryan screaming like a little pig.

Lily: You had a baby. There was a father. How did he die?

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