All My Children Transcript Wednesday 8/4/04
Proofread by Gisele
Babe: I'm sorry, J.R. It's -- it's like the whole world is against you. I can't do it. I want this over now. I'm going to end it.
Edmund: Yeah, that's right, Aidan Devane. No word at all? Ok, thanks.
Anita: Hey, Edmund. How was physical therapy?
Edmund: Wow. Where's my sunglasses? If I didn't know better, I'd say that glow of yours has something to do with Bobby.
Anita: Only everything.
Edmund: Back together, I hear?
Anita: If I weren't at work, I might do a happy dance. I'm such a dork, aren't I?
Edmund: No, not at all. Listen, it's been a long time since I've seen that Santos glow. 'Tis a wondrous thing to behold.
Anita: Well, that's just the opening I was hoping for -- to talk tough. May I?
Edmund: It's about time somebody did.
Bobby: Maria, I can't stop you from making a mistake if I don't know what it is. You're a wreck. You're in my boss' office, and you really need to talk.
Maria: Yeah, but to you?
Bobby: Should I call Anita?
Maria: No, no. No.
Bobby: Look, I have a real short attention span. I'll forget whatever you tell me. You know, and I'm the last person to judge.
Maria: How do I get Zach out of my head?
Maria: Yeah. I can't keep doing this, Bobby. I can't.
Bobby: No, no, you can't. Maria, what if I told you to get Slater out of your head ASAP? Zach Slater is not the man you think he is.
David: What are you doing here?
Zach: I'm here to introduce myself formally.
David: Yeah, well, I'm not big on formalities, as you're about to witness.
Zach: We have a mutual interest in Bianca's charity.
David: The casino guy, right? So, you took a break from scamming quarters off old ladies?
Zach: We have something else in common.
David: And I care because?
Zach: Maria Grey. Or should I say Maureen Gorman? I'm the man you made her leave.
Greenlee: You said you could tell me anything. Tell me what you feel right now.
Ryan: Well, it's -- it's a little bit fuzzy, you know. It's like -- but I do know that I'm so grateful that you're here -- like, here now.
Greenlee: Then I guess you and I feel the exact same thing. Is there more?
Ryan's voice: Say it, say it, say it! Say you're falling for her! Say it!
Ryan: Do you ever notice that words aren't as useful as they should be? You know, some days they're -- they're useless. And then on bad days, they're --
Greenlee: Land mines.
Ryan: Have any helpful tips for me?
Greenlee: Stay very still. Keep it very simple. And say what you mean.
Greenlee: Simple is good, but a few more words and I might actually understand.
Ryan: I have to balance my checkbook.
Greenlee: Said the multibillionaire with an accounting staff of 80?
Ryan: The billionaire gig is new. It's -- the fiscal responsibility goes back beyond before when I wasn't fiscally responsible, when I was dead broke.
Greenlee: I'll help.
Ryan: Are you sure?
Greenlee: Yeah. Grunt work is a lot less painful when you have a friend to help you out.
Ryan: Exactly. Friends.
Greenlee: Canceled checks first, and then we'll deal with the dreaded math.
Ryan: No, you see, the math is no problem for me. It's all neat, tidy columns with numbers and calculators and calculating. It's -- it's the words. It's the -- you know, like the woman said -- land mines.
Greenlee: We wouldn't want that.
Ryan: No. Which is why I second-guess myself even sometimes before I speak.
Greenlee: You're cautious. You know, you know the power that words have, and not too many people respect that.
Ryan: Right. But the words that do the trick -- I mean, they explain exactly what's in my head.
Greenlee: What words?
Ryan's voice: Shut it, Ryan. Not another word. God, she's gorgeous. Stop it! She said she's happy, she's safe. You want to mess with that? You bring up feelings and she'll take a header into the mineshaft again, this time on purpose.
Ryan: Any words. It's just hypothetical.
Greenlee: Well, you could test them out on me if you're not sure. How many stereo systems does one man need?
Ryan: As many it takes to drown out your chick music. Now, give me that. Sorry. You know, chick music aside, our deal has made me the happiest of men.
Greenlee: Our deal?
Ryan: Yeah, it's a thing of beauty.
Greenlee: Of course. About that timeline -- maybe six months wasn't the way to go?
Ryan: Why? Have you found him? The guy to fall in love with?
Edmund: All right, let me read you the fine print of our conversational agreement, ok? In exchange for talking toughly, frankly, and fairly, you agree to forgo the "hugging is as good as sex" speech.
Anita: Now, why is that off-limits?
Edmund: I'm just trying to save us time, not have a conversation I've had with everybody else on the planet.
Anita: Everyone on the planet said that? Hugging is as good as sex?
Edmund: Yeah, just about.
Anita: Wow. What liars.
Edmund: Excuse me?
Anita: Well, sex is sex, and it's so much better when it's love. I mean, if I lost that with the man that I adore, I would be devastated. Is that as comforting as the big hug lie?
Edmund: Hmm. At least the truth doesn't feel like an insult.
Anita: Well, here's to more truth because I respect you so much.
Edmund: Oh, boy.
Anita: Your wife loves you. She loves being with you. And you guys have a big, bright future ahead of you. But if you narrow down sex to one single act, you don't know what you're missing out on.
Edmund: Ahem. Fine print, remember? You agreed?
Anita: I'm not talking hugging, Edmund. I am talking about a rainbow of possibilities with bigtime glow potential. I mean, so bright that you would need new shades.
Edmund: Great. I'm not doing this, ok?
Anita: It's true. But it's not your disability holding you back. It's your pride.
Maria: You've been where I am, Bobby. I mean, don't you wish somebody had come in and some something before it went too far? I just don't have the energy or the time to spend on anybody but Edmund, and then here I am, right here, and I really need help. I --
Bobby: When I -- when I met Zach, it was, like, the dumbest luck ever. I mean, it -- finding the perfect boss and the perfect job.
Maria: But, what?
Bobby: But I screwed up. A big one -- an 8.0 on the screwup Richter scale.
Maria: If you screw up, though, you got to take the heat.
Bobby: Yeah, heat I can take. Heat I deserve. But this was third-degree burns. Whether you're single or married or somewhere in between, you stay away from this guy.
Maria: It's too late for that.
Bobby: No, no, no, it's not.
Maria: Now, what if I told you, Bobby, that I spent six months with him? I mean, I was practically his wife.
Bobby: Oh, man. You're her.
David: Is that supposed to mean something to me? You and Maureen or Maria or whoever? You show up on my doorstep to what?
Zach: To meet you in person.
David: No. I think you came all riled up and ready to rumble. But if you have some romance novel vision of avenging your l'amour interruptus, let me give you some advice -- get over it. It's been five years. And while you're at it, you can get lost.
Zach: I admire a man who doesn't let anything rattle him.
David: Has the constant cha-ching of slot machines impaired your hearing? I'm busy. Bye now.
Zach: But a man who would drug a poor, young woman and make her forget her own existence, fill her head with thoughts of guilt and murder, and make her feel like a stranger in her own skin without ever breaking a sweat himself -- now, that is a man I had to meet.
David: Look, I don't give a damn what you think or what you want or who you are.
Zach: You've held a fragile, warm, pulsing heart right in your very hands. Life, right there, under your complete control. And would you believe it? That is something else we have in common.
J.R.: Babe, do you believe them? Are you talking about divorce?
Babe: No! God, J.R., no, not divorce.
J.R.: Then what do you want to end?
Babe: David. Everything. Just -- him trying to run my life and telling me what to do and how to feel. It's got to stop.
J.R.: Come here, baby. I forgot what it's like for someone who's not used to it.
Babe: Who ever gets used to all that hatefulness?
J.R.: Anyone with the last name Chandler. Adam's on so many hate lists. And David -- that one -- that one goes way back.
Babe: I just don't understand. He says that he wants to be my father and be all close, but then -- then he does something like this. And it's not like he's the only person against us.
J.R.: Yeah, Tad and Brooke. I can't say that I blame them.
Babe: How can you not blame them? J.R., they want to throw you in jail and take you away from your daughter.
J.R.: They're Jamie's parents. Now, if Bess was mixed up in trouble like that or anything --
Babe: No, don't say something like that. It's bad luck.
J.R.: We would stand by her, God forbid it was her fault or not. Wouldn't your mother stand by you for whatever you did or whatever lie you told?
Babe: I would do anything for Bess. Anything at all.
J.R.: Then let me handle David.
Babe: What are you going to do?
J.R.: I'm going to handle it. That's all.
David: So now you're a cardiologist, huh?
Zach: Oh, God, no, no, no. I'm talking about life's combat. Tried to save one of my own.
David: And how'd that work out for you?
Zach: Not as well as it's worked for you.
David: So, what exactly do you want from me? Slater, right? What, you want me to what, quiver in fear of the macho bruiser or weep for your fallen comrade?
Zach: I'm just sharing information.
David: Yeah, right, of course you were. But you wouldn't want me to have visions of you cracking my chest open in some bit of poetic justice for your poor broken heart, now, would you? Maybe you should take a hint from Maria. She and I made peace. It's funny, ever since I saved her husband, she let go of her resentment. You know her husband, right? The man she couldn't get back to fast enough, no matter whom or what was waiting for her in that desert?
Zach: Must be a rush creating something out of nothing.
David: All right, look, since you're having a problem getting to the point, let me get there for you. You want an apology for taking Maria away from you. Now, if I had never met you, maybe. But now that I have, I'd do it again in a heartbeat. As far as I'm concerned, I did Maria a huge favor.
Zach: I came here to extend an invitation to the fundraiser for Bianca's charity.
David: Yeah, right. That's why you're here, of course. My mistake.
Zach: I'm looking forward to playing host, especially to you. Bye.
David: He's going to make a really rotten new best friend.
Maria: What do you mean by "you're her"? Did he -- did he mention me?
Bobby: Well, never by name. I mean, that's not his style.
Maria: But -- so, then, what?
Bobby: Well, every -- every once in a while when, you know -- when there was a sunset, he would go quiet, he would look out, and he would say, "She loved that desert."
Maria: Yeah. I did. I did. But, I mean, you never said, "Oh, hey, boss, who is 'she'?"
Bobby: Well, that's the major difference between the Zach that you knew then and the Zach that I know now. Ok? I mean, that casino boss with the killer smile? You don't get close to him. You don't ask about his past.
Maria: Yeah, well, that last part hasn't changed.
Bobby: Yeah. Was he intimidating back then, too?
Maria: No. No, not at all.
Bobby: You're not -- you're not thinking of getting back together with him again?
Maria: Oh, God, no, no. That is absolutely not an option, no.
Bobby: Ok, because, even though this would make me the world's biggest hypocrite, I have to say, for the love of God, don't.
Maria: No, I love Edmund. I love him. He truly is my world.
Bobby: I can't imagine what this is doing to your mind and to your heart, but -- Edmund in a wheelchair -- but I -- I don't blame you for wondering.
Ryan: And, you know, you never answered my question. Back when we -- you know, when we had that little rib party in the park, you said that your marriage to me was sort of the perfect chance for you to meet the exact right guy -- not Mr. Right, but Mr. Right Now.
Greenlee: Hang on. You know what? I saw it here just a second ago.
Greenlee's voice: Mr. Right? Mr. Right? Try Mr. Right in Front of Me. It's you I want. Can't you tell? Don't you see?
Ryan: I don't see it.
Greenlee's voice: Which is good. Because the last thing you need is yet another woman throwing herself at you and backing you into a corner. I can do patient. I can. I can.
Greenlee: I can't -- find anything.
Ryan: Oh. Is -- is that what you wanted to tell me, you know, about what you really wanted?
Greenlee: No. That was nothing. And, no, no, I don't have my sights set on some poor sucker. This ring is on my finger for good. I mean, it's not glued or anything. I can take it off, you know, whenever I have to or need to, you know, or if you wanted me to.
Ryan: You know, you said you wanted to change our six-month deal, and then you said you didn't want to change it, so, like, is there something that you're not telling me? Because if there is, you know, I'm a tough guy. I can take it.
Greenlee: I'm sure you can.
Greenlee's voice: Not.
Ryan: So, tell me, Greenlee. Do you want out sooner?
Greenlee: I just said no.
Ryan's voice: Did you hear that? She's defensive, scared. My fault, I'm pushing. Idiot! Am I turning uncool? No. No, I'm just chasing her away. Well, stop it. Because if she goes, you'll be sorry. Don't make her run.
Greenlee's voice: How could I go sooner? Six months isn't enough. I'm not sure there is such a thing. Do you know how much I'd miss you? Do you know how much I need you and want you? God, can't you just open your arms and --
Ryan: I wouldn't want to hold you back.
Greenlee: How about just holding me?
Greenlee's voice: Oh, God. Was that out loud?
Ryan: How about I --
Ryan's voice: Hold you? Does she know and she's just needling me, or does she mean it? Say it again.
Greenlee: Hold me back from making another mistake. I mean, I may have another moment of weakness and jump the first piece of beefcake that says hello.
Greenlee's voice: Oh, that was good. Sounds a little more desperate. Men find that sexy. Which is worse -- "Hey, I'm pathetic" or "Hey, I love you madly. I want to climb into your lap and --"
Ryan: That's what I'm here for.
Ryan: To stop you from doing things that you would regret.
Ryan's voice: Like being with me one second longer once you figure out that your good pal Ryan wants to pick you up and touch your face and hold your --
Greenlee: Oh -- sticky.
Ryan: I -- I just want you to be happy.
Greenlee: Look at me, Ryan.
Ryan: I'm looking.
Greenlee: This is what I look like when I'm happy.
Greenlee's voice: Shut up, shut up, shut up! Don't say anything else.
Greenlee: I'm glad we had this talk.
Ryan: Yeah. Cleared things up.
Greenlee: Everything out in the open.
Ryan: No misunderstandings.
Greenlee: And no missing checks.
Ryan: Yeah. It's true, except I'm out $1,100.
Greenlee: We could start over, try again. Get it right this time.
Ryan: I need a break.
Greenlee: What did I say?
David: Yeah, just stick to the chart, ok? I'm going to take a shower. I'll call you back later. Right.
[Knock on door]
David: You want to play games, Slater? You want to tell me why you're dumb enough to show up here?
J.R.: I came here to say I'm sorry. I was wondering if you can accept my apology.
Edmund: So, Mrs. Warner, am I correct in understanding that I need to ditch the ego and suck it up?
Anita: When you put it that way -- um -- yeah.
Edmund: It's a pretty substantial ego, you know.
Anita: With good reason.
Edmund: Ahem -- can't just, you know, dump it by the side of the road. You need official permits and all that kind of stuff.
Anita: Well, you're the resourceful type. I have faith.
Edmund: Can anybody really fight what we've lost as a -- scratch that, not "we." Can I -- can I fight this battle?
Anita: You have no choice but to fight. You're Edmund Grey.
Edmund: I really do love her, more than ever. I knew she was strong, but in this, I mean, she just shines.
Anita: Ok, so what's the plan?
Edmund: I haven't a clue. I don't know. But I'm not about to give up on the lady that I love. No way, no how.
Anita: See, now, that is what I'm talking about.
Edmund: Excuse me. Ahem. Yeah, Grey. Aidan. Yeah, I've been waiting for your call. What? I'm sorry, you're breaking up. Hello? Call me when you get a better connection. That was Aidan.
Anita: Yeah, I got that. Where is he? What's he doing?
Edmund: Oh, he's doing some detective work, top secret.
Anita: Well, how did he sound?
Edmund: He sounded like -- like it was a bad connection. Or did you mean something else?
Anita: No, not at all. Now that Bobby and I are back together, it's all good.
Edmund: Ok. And the glow returns. Listen, nobody deserves that glow better, all right? You go get it.
Anita: And so do you, so you go get it.
Edmund: Ok. All right.
Anita: All right?
Edmund: All right.
Anita: I got to get back to work. Bye.
Edmund: Hello? Yeah. Aidan, yeah, it's better now. Yeah, Tad filled me in on the research. Slater. Uh-huh. Yeah, I got it. All right. I'll be on it first thing.
Maria: Edmund and I have been through far, far worse than this. And he truly is the love of my life. That's unbreakable.
Bobby: You didn't seem so sure about that last part when I first came in here.
Maria: Yeah. Well, sex or the lack thereof, it just -- it can't define what Edmund and I have because what we have is so much bigger than that. It's just -- it's so much stronger than that. And I -- I mean, I'm going to fight like hell to keep it, just like you've been doing with Anita.
Bobby: You know, I never realized until just this second that if I lost my wife, I would've lost a sister-in-law, too? Close call, huh?
Maria: Yeah, you almost blew it.
Zach: I'd say I'm sorry, but this is my office. And check on opening acts that won't alienate our beloved headliner.
Bobby: Meaning not better-looking. You got it.
Zach: It's good to see you. I shouldn't have canceled our meeting. I'm sorry.
Maria: It's ok. I came by to see Bobby, anyway. And he seems to be doing really well here with you.
Zach: Yeah, he's not one of those fawning yes men. I appreciate that.
Maria: You like hearing no?
Zach: That's not what I said. Life is full of challenges. I like to take them on.
Maria: That's great. Is that what I am to you? A challenge? Because you don't get to take me on, Zach. Not now and not ever.
Greenlee: Wimp. Goof. You're the girl who could conquer the world, who could go out and get whatever she wants. What do you do? Check number 5921. Why couldn't you just say it? Why couldn't you just take a risk? Why can't I just say that one itsy-bitsy tiny sentence. "I love you, Ryan Lavery, you pain." Wait -- me pain, or him pain? What does it matter? Love is a pain.
Jonathan: Which one?
Jonathan: You trying to sort out Kendall or Greenlee?
Ryan: I balanced my checkbook. It stressed me out. So why don't you ever want to talk about when we were kids?
Jonathan: I come into the ring with a left about the ladies in your life, and you come back at me with the most out-of-the-blue thing you can find -- me and our childhood. I see the maneuver. You just want to cling on to the glory days.
Ryan: Excuse me, our childhood glory days?
Jonathan: You strip all that away, and what do you have? The time when I worshipped you as a God. Is that what this is, huh? Ryan needs a little adulation from his baby bro?
Ryan: All right, ok, cut it out. I almost blew it with Greenlee today.
Jonathan: Clothes on or clothes off?
Ryan: And I talk to you why?
Jonathan: I just need to know if this is a chemical free-fall or an emotional.
Ryan: Clothes on.
Jonathan: What did she say when you told her?
Ryan: You think I'm going to tell her that? I'm her pal. So while she's thinking about spreadsheets and dinner plans, she'd just be thrilled to find out that I'm thinking about feelings and how hot she looks in the lingerie that she wears to bed.
Jonathan: She might respond to that.
Ryan: She also might run out in the middle of the street and get hit by a bus. That sounds like a great plan.
Jonathan: And to think that I used to consider you a genius?
Ryan: Well, lucky for me, only you know the truth. Just don't go telling anybody, or you're a dead man.
Jonathan: Ain't family swell?
Ryan: So, little Jon -- I showed you mine, now you show me yours.
Babe: He loves you as big as the universe. You know that, don't you? And I know exactly how it feels. Yes, because he loves me, too, no matter what all of those mean people say. We just wouldn't feel this safe and loved if it were all a lie. Would we? No. No. It just isn't so.
David: "David"? Boy, no "Hayward" with a sneer and drizzled with contempt?
J.R.: No, actually, I left the sneer at home. I'm here for Babe. Now, I'm willing to buy that you were in our tunnel spying on us because you want what I want -- for Babe to be safe and happy. Who am I to blame you for that?
David: Boy, that's really understanding of you, J.R. and that's quite a substantial turnaround. Now, what brought that about?
J.R.: Well, see, you and I, we have something in common. We're both new fathers. Now, if I thought for a second that Bess was in jeopardy, whether it was true or not, I'd go a little nuts.
David: So you apologize, I let it go, and what do you propose?
J.R.: That we put an end to this war between us. At least a ceasefire, find some common ground.
David: Based on the fact that we're both fathers?
J.R.: What's the point in going after each other? We're too evenly matched. We can't hurt each other. But we can hurt the people that we love, and that's not worth it to me. How about you?
David: You know something, J.R.? Your mother -- she was a sweet, loving woman. But she would slap you silly if she ever heard that load.
Babe: You see, I know that your daddy loves me. And you know how? See, I -- I kept you away from Bianca because I knew that it would just kill J.R. to lose you. But if I just -- if I did all that just for somebody who deep down hated me inside, how could I live with myself? How could I even deserve to live at all? God, please just let me know that this is going to be ok.
J.R.: You know, I wish I'd known this years ago, how easy it was to push your buttons, how easy and entertaining.
David: You might want to take some genuine advice, Junior. If I were you, I'd start treating Babe like the loving husband she deserves. Because if you don't, you might wake up one day in your own dark and pathetic life that you can't get out of.
J.R.: Yeah? I'm all over that one, Hayward.
Ryan: What I have with Greenlee is nothing like what you and I saw growing up at home, you understand that? It's incredible. And there's no way that I'm going to do anything to screw it up. It's still right there over my shoulder.
Jonathan: Man, why do you want to focus on the old stuff? You have a penthouse, an empire. You have a really hot wife.
Ryan: Because the old stuff made us who we are now.
Jonathan: You're breaking my heart here, Ry. You know, I -- I can't stand all the "let's talk about the past and cry" thing. We all have choices, ok? I made the choice to get over the fact that I didn't get a 10-speed, that we didn't summer in France. And like I said, we were both there. Not interesting. You having this -- this deep, passionate thing for your untouchable wife -- that's way more interesting. The present always is.
[Knock on door]
Greenlee: I said I was coming! Oh.
Greenlee: Subtle. And ready to burst. What's going on?
Bobby: You got to hear this.
Jonathan: Live for the moment, that's all I'm saying. The past -- it's done, it's finished. Finito, toast, over. The future -- you can't control it, so don't stress about it.
Ryan: Wow. And the Zen master speaks.
Ryan: Maybe a few more lessons from the sensei and I'll catch on. Sure would make life a whole lot easier.
Jonathan: Amen, brother.
Greenlee: Bobby, I can see that you have a lot to offer, but I'm not in the market.
Bobby: Greenlee, I've been a professional screwup, and I'm hoping to -- to limit the mistakes to the few and far between in my life. When I came over here and declared that I had a thing for you, that wasn't cool at all. So this is -- this is my retraction and my apology.
Greenlee: You didn't have to.
Bobby: No, I did. Because love matters. Getting in the way of love, whether it's your own love or someone else's -- I mean, it's just stupid. You know, if you have someone to love, you got to do whatever you can to hold on to her or him. Because in the end, what else is there?
Greenlee: What else is there?
Bobby: Yeah. Ok -- uh -- great. Um -- I'd better go.
Greenlee: "Hubster -- went to dig Mia out of a mess in California. Kisses -- hugs, G."
Zach: I told you I don't want to complicate your life.
Maria: Yeah, well, you just being here in Pine Valley complicates it.
Zach: My work is here.
Maria: That's convenient. Very convenient, but it's not really good for me. Because with all of these feelings --
Zach: They are what they are. You give them the power.
Maria: What? Don't try to pretend like I'm in this on my own, because you are right there with me.
Zach: You asked me to come to terms, so I'm working on that. Now it's your turn, and your strength will come through. It always has. I've seen it.
Maria: Well, what you knew about Maureen Gorman is all in the past. And as for you and me, we definitely have no future.
>> On the next "All My Children" --
Babe: Dad? I know you're in there.
J.R.: Babe doesn't fire, and neither do you.
Derek: You want me to revoke your bail and lock you up.
Jamie: Got a problem with that?
Bobby: You ever get the feeling that you've been royally hosed?
Edmund: I'll take the truth, straight.
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