AMC Transcript Thursday 7/8/04

All My Children Transcript Thursday 7/8/04

By Suzanne
Proofread by Gisele

Zach: Anita Warner?

Anita: I'm sorry, have we met?

Zach: Zach Slater, Bobby's boss. I know it looks like I'm crashing the party, but I'm not. He invited me to meet him here.

Anita: Wait, Bobby's coming here?

Zach: Did I just blow a big surprise?

Anita: Uh, Bobby's -- Bobby's not here. I don't know where he is.

Zach: Oh, he'll be here. He wouldn't miss this. He's too excited to see you.

Reggie: Come on.

Danielle: What did I say about you, me, and nature?

Reggie: I promise, no tall squirrels for 100 miles.

Danielle: But Daddy is, and he's pretty fierce.

Reggie: He's off cuffing a deer or something. Look, you know these fireworks, food, party, the whole -- everything -- it's just for you. Just so we could do this.

Man: Freeze!

David: Bianca.

Bianca: I am interrupting.

Adam: Oh, no, no, no, by all means, interrupt the interruption. Hayward has already barged into a personal family gathering with his usual pompous self-importance. We have things to attend to here, so speak your piece and get out. What's your crucial business about, anyway?

David: True parentage. I did my own DNA test, and the results are conclusive. Some of you already know this. I'm Babe's biological father.

Adam: No. Bianca, no smiling.

J.R.: Tell me this is a lie and I'll let you walk out of here in one piece.

David: It's all true. Feel free to break out the bubbly.

Adam: To celebrate what, exactly? A dorm-room coupling 20 years ago? That calls for a kegger and pretzels.

David: We've already missed out on too many years. I think we have to make up for that, get to know each other.

Babe: Are you sure this is your final choice?

Tad: "Choice"?

Babe: I mean, you know, does he want me as a real daughter or just some mistake he'd rather forget?

Krystal: Honey, no baby is ever a mistake.

David: I choose you. You are my daughter, and I am your father. Some have said that I'm nothing but a glorified sperm donor. But I think we're beyond that. I'd like to be a part of your life. I'd like to be a part of your child's life, if that's what you really want.

Babe: Yes.

Adam: Don't tell me she's embracing this.

Babe: Are you sure you can do this?

David: You listen to your father -- when you make a decision, you hang on hard and don't look back.

Reggie: Jamie, you know I should beat you down for that, right?

Jamie: Well, you were a little too busy getting busy, right, Danielle?

Danielle: I appreciate a good punk job just as much as the next girl. You got us good. Now, go away.

Reggie: Yeah. Bye, Jamie.

Jamie: Actually, I need to talk to you, Reggie, and it seriously can't wait.

Anita: Bobby's really supposed to be here?

Zach: Yeah. He gave me directions and told me to look for him here -- and his family.

Anita: Um, I'm sorry. This is my sister, Maria.

Zach: From the house on the hill, right?

Edmund: Yeah, Wildwind, that's it. How you doing? Edmund Grey. Good to see you officially, yeah.

Zach: Zach Slater. Hi.

Anita: You guys have met?

Zach: Yeah, yeah, I -- I got lost driving around and went into Wildwind, got some help.

Maria: I thought I gave you directions out of town, though.

Zach: And I was on my way and Bobby called me last minute, so here I am. Small town.

Maria: Small world.

Edmund: You ok?

Anita: Fine. Great. Nauseous. He's coming.

Jamie: Reggie, I swear, a few minutes, tops.

Reggie: Ok, two weeks from now sounds really good.

Danielle: Ok, Jamie, I know you two are buds and everything, but we really don't want an audience.

Livia: Danielle Frye? Get a move on.

Danielle: Aunt Livia.

Reggie: This better be big -- very big for you to mess this up.

Jamie: Yeah, maybe it's nothing.

Reggie: Nothing? Oh, you're tripping pretty bad for something that's nothing.

Jamie: It's J.R. I'm afraid he's gone big, bad, and ugly.

Reggie: What did he do, fire somebody? It's nothing to trip about.

Jamie: It's trip-worthy when he wants to get rid of Babe, and he almost killed her to do it.

Tad: You must just want to break out in giggles right now.

David: Believe me, there's nothing about today I'm taking lightly.

Tad: I'd love to know what your plans are for Babe, considering she's already been through a lot.

David: Which is why I plan to look after her -- and embrace all the people in her life. Now, that includes her darling in-laws.

Adam: Well, you want to play Daddy, that's all well and good, but perhaps your daughter's mother might prefer you not.

Krystal: Well, Babe is a grown woman. I think it's up to her to decide where her daddy fits in.

Bianca: Babe, do you know where that is?

Babe: Well, he's helped me out so much and saved my life twice already. He can fit in wherever he likes.

David: I'd like to be a part of your life, and Bess'. I want to show that little girl all the attention I never got to show her mother.

Bianca: I knew it! I -- I just knew that this could work out for everyone. You know, you guys don't know this yet, but you're actually a lot alike.

[David chuckles]

Krystal: That's -- that's really sweet of you, Bianca.

Adam: Oh, yes, very.

David: Well, for once, I'd have to agree with my fellow patriarch here and hope not for Babe's sake.

Bianca: Oh, no, you're two of my favorite people. And you can tell that this is meant to be, because it just feels so right. I'm so happy for both of you -- and for Bess. She lucks out, too.

Babe: Well, of course she knows that you're the man who saved her mama's life. Well, I guess it's time for an official introduction. What do you say we go upstairs, and you can meet the next generation? Mama?

Krystal: You bet.

Adam: David Hayward upstairs, cooing over my granddaughter?

J.R.: I know, I know, ok? Like Bess doesn't have enough losers hovering.

Bianca: You're lumping me in with that parade of losers, too, aren't you, J.R.?

David: She is beautiful.

Krystal: That dog-and-pony show you put on for Adam and J.R. -- was that for real?

David: What, Sunday dinners at the Chandler table? Please. I'd rather suck mud through a straw.

Krystal: Well, you see, that's what I don't understand, David. I mean, you are real family now, so what's it going to be? Are you going to stick by her or are you going to stick it to her?

Babe: Mama, would you stop it? He's trying. Why would you even think something like that?

Krystal: Because it's my job to think those ugly thoughts that never even enter your head. The closer he gets, the more he could hurt you, and that's over my dead body.

David: It's all right, Babe. Your mother's right. She's just looking after you with intense primal instinct -- which I plan to match.

Babe: I couldn't believe what you said downstairs -- she was mine, ours.

[Baby squeals]

Babe: Well, hello. You know, I wouldn't have blamed you if you had to tell because I know your heart was broken when Bianca lost her baby. Why did you do it, Dr. Hayward?

David: "Doctor"? Look, I know "Dad" is probably pushing it, but can we at least try "David"?

Babe: Can you please just tell me why you did it?

David: Look, it's done, ok? So why don't we all just -- just move on?

Krystal: No, no, that's not good enough.

[Baby squeals]

Krystal: No, until I know why, I'm not going to ever be sure that you're going to keep that secret tucked away.

David: Well, maybe I did it for the same reasons you did.

Krystal: Babe kept quiet so she wouldn't break J.R.'s heart, but you can't pretend that you give a damn about him. Now, as for me, Babe's happiness is the reason that I draw breath. Both of us -- both of us made that decision out of love. But I know you love Bianca, and you've known her a lot longer than you've known Babe.

Babe: Blood or no blood, can't be easy.

David: It isn't. But I already lost one child, and I don't want to lose another.

Babe: I guess Bianca was right. We do have lots in common.

Zach: Bobby's become a major asset. He's got a great business sense. He just closed a huge deal for me in California. According to him, he did it all for you.

Anita: I -- I got to -- I'd better -- I have to go.

Zach: I thought this was all good news.

Edmund: Yeah. No, it's just been an emotional weekend. Listen, none of it's your fault, all right?

Derek: Where were you? No, never mind. I want an honest answer. Where was she?

Livia: There's a very long line to the ladies' room.

Danielle: That is true.

Derek: Ok, come on. Hey, you know what, Edmund? I got a little friendly advice -- keep Maddie in summer camp till she's 30 -- an all-girls camp.

Edmund: Zach Slater, meet Derek Frye, Chief of Police.

Zach: A pleasure.

Derek: Hi.

Edmund: And his daughter --

Danielle: Danielle.

Zach: Hey.

Danielle: So nice to meet you.

Livia: Where's Anita?

Tom: She needed some time.

Maria: Actually, I should probably go look for her because Bobby's going to be here any second, you know.

Edmund: Honey, don't worry. Anita's strong. She can handle this.

Danielle: So, where you from? What do you do?

Zach: I own hotel casinos. I don't know if you've heard of The Seasons.

Danielle: Vegas! Oh, I can see the lights now. I'm dying to know more.

Zach: Mm-hmm, I'd be happy to tell you some other time. I feel like I'm intruding. I should be on my way.

Danielle: Oh, don't you dare. Without someone here new in the mix, we'll just all sit here and stare at each other.

Tom: That's why it helps to have some good-looking women around.

[Tom chuckles]

Edmund: Hey, listen, Zach, if the iced tea doesn't entice you, maybe a little wine will do the trick? What do you think?

Anita: Bobby.

Bobby: Happy Independence Day, Mrs. Warner.

Anita: You -- you scared me.

Bobby: God. Look at you. Just beautiful.

Anita: Where have you been?

Bobby: I had a deal in San Diego. It went so well that if you wait a few seconds, my eyeballs will start flashing dollar signs. Just watch.

Anita: But you couldn't call?

Bobby: I didn't want to call till I had some good news, and when the news was great, a phone call wouldn't cut it. Great news rates quality face time, don't you think?

Anita: Yeah. Yeah, I guess it does.

Bobby: And I want to introduce you to the guy who made all the magic happen. You are going to love this guy, Zach.

Anita: We already met.

Bobby: Oh.

Anita: He's with Edmund and Maria. Actually, they're probably wondering where I am.

Bobby: As reunions go, this isn't what I pictured.

Anita: You haven't called in, like, forever, and now you want some big, romantic reunion? Real life doesn't work that way.

Bobby: I know things have been rough, and that's why I wanted to come and see you in person. Look, I love that you missed me. But I did all that for us, ok? Zach is handing us a big, shiny "we can have it all now," and I wanted to come and tell you about this in person.

Anita: No. No, Bobby.

Bobby: Anita, this is real. This isn't a get-rich-quick plan. This is got rich quick. I mean, be happy.

Anita: Will you listen? You don't understand. Bobby --

Bobby: What's wrong?

Palmer: Well, spit it out, Anita. What has my long-lost grandson done now?

Reggie: Yo, Jamie, you've lost it. You really think J.R. doped his wife so he can have sex with her? Wait a minute -- if they have a kid, she's giving it up.

Jamie: Not so she would have sex with him, so she'd do it with me. More like he's trying to set us up so Babe takes the fall.

Reggie: Jamie, I just don't see it. But there is something I do see, though.

Jamie: Well, if you've got a better idea, tell me, because this one sucks.

Reggie: Maybe this is your lust for Babe reaching in and scrambling your brains.

David: Call me Daddy Hard-ass if you want to, but there can be no repeat performance of that SOS fiasco.

Krystal: Oh, way to parent. You already stepped in it.

Babe: You know what? You'd better get this about me, and get it about me fast -- I have a load of bad habits, and I am not proud of them. I quit smoking, and, yeah, there's times that I do want a drag, and when I'm depressed, I can eat my weight in ice cream, but doing drugs, it's not on my list -- not before, and not now, and not ever.

Krystal: That's right. Listen, you know, drugs may fascinate you, but that curiosity skipped her generation. She is a damn fine mama. She's the best I've ever seen.

David: The drug was in her system, Krystal.

Babe: And I didn't put it there. Yeah, maybe someone slipped it to me or I picked up the wrong glass. That makes me clueless, not a druggie.

David: Well, what about the time that you were out all night and J.R. took Bess to the ER?

Babe: Oh, God.

David: I found you at Maggie�s early the next morning.

Babe: Haven't we already gone here? J.R. practically pushed me out the door, and he's the one that told me to stay the night. And now he looks back and he knows that he overreacted. I mean, was Bess fine or not?

David: Yeah, she was. But J.R. wasn't.

Krystal: You know --

David: In fact, he was worried about Bess in general.

Krystal: Yeah, but he's a new daddy. They get wacky that way.

David: No, no, no. He was a lot more upset than that. He insinuated that that night wasn't a one-time deal, that Babe was a less-than-attentive mother.

Babe: Right. Tell me what he said, exact words. Go ahead.

David: He wasn't exactly direct.

Babe: Which means that it never happened. Look, I know that you and J.R., you guys have this long history that's just absolutely terrible, and I probably don't even know the half of it. Or you know what, maybe this is your way of already trying to break us up, but you know what, do not go there because you're going to be the one left out in the cold, because J.R. and I love each other and our Bess.

David: I'm not trying to break you up.

Babe: Well, you better not, because if I can take on Adam, I can sure as heck take on you. How about this -- I'll go down and get J.R. nd we can straighten this out right now.

David: All right, no. Wait a minute. Just -- just relax, ok? J.R. was upset that night and so was I. Maybe I -- I misunderstood.

Babe: You did.

Krystal: You know, I think you'd better master the fine art of backpedaling. You never step between a woman and the man she adores.

David: My mistake. Truly, Babe, I have no intention of attacking an innocent man.

J.R.: You're hardly in the same category as Hayward.

Tad: Come on, J.R., that's an understatement.

Bianca: You're right, I'm not in the same category. I'm just Babe's friend. David is her father.

Adam: Could we please stop saying that?

Tad: Bianca, everybody understands the ramifications. It's just going to take a little time. I mean, this thing just landed on our shoulders. It's a little hard to swallow.

Bianca: J.R., as a friend, choke it down as best you can, ok? Babe deserves a father, and Bess deserves every single person who'll love her.

Derek: Who taught you how to play this game?

Edmund: Zach, I'll tell you, I got one thing I'm wondering about. How the hell does a casino make any money offering $2 prime rib?

Zach: I don't know. You got to ask Bobby when he gets here. What do you do, Edmund?

Edmund: Hmm. Well, I co-own a magazine called "Tempo," but what I really like to do is I'm an investigative reporter.

[Zach has a flashback]

Zach: And the male returns from hunting and gathering and haggling with Seņorita Mendoza. I like the woman, but I got to tell you, sometimes -- anyway, I'm going to make you a fantastic dinner anyway. What's going on? You hurt? Hey.

Maria: No, no, no, I'm ok. It's nothing. It's really -- nothing happened.

Zach: Well, sometimes the desert sun, you know, it does things to you. It makes you see things, something, someone.

Maria: No. No. When you're here with me, really, you are the only person that matters in the whole world.

Zach: Ok. Ok.

Livia: You're bad.

Edmund: You must have some great stories to tell.

Zach: As a matter of fact, I do.

Edmund: Slow down, speed racer. You look a little worried there, kid.

Maria: Yeah, I'm just so hopped up on caffeine from the iced tea all day. I don't even know what to do with myself.

Edmund: The iced tea is herbal and it's decaf, honey.

Maria: Must be Anita, then. I'm just -- here she resolves to get on with her life, and then Bobby just about to show up out of the blue. Her head must be spinning.

Edmund: It's a good head. Spinning, I mean. She'll get through it.

Danielle: Sin City. I love it. How hyped are you to be working there?

Zach: Business is good.

Danielle: I bet I could make it stand up and sing. Mr. Slater, you know who has disposable income? Young people.

Zach: Hmm.

Danielle: And it takes young and hip to draw in young and hip.

Zach: Mm-hmm. Young is good. Hip is really good. But there's that one pesky little detail. Let me ask you a question -- what's the magic number in blackjack?

Danielle: Oh, if this is a test, at least make it hard. 21.

Zach: 21. You're absolutely right. So when you get out of college, give me a call. We'll work something out, ok?

Danielle: Oh, I'm looking for an immediate opening, plus a place to crash. You find me a broom closet with a key, and you have yourself some serious free labor.

Livia: Things seemed a little chilly between you and Edmund. What's that about?

Derek: Business. He wanted me to run a computer check on some local criminals.

Livia: For fun?

Derek: His cell signal got crossed, and he heard something he thought was suspicious enough that he wanted to -- he wanted to tie up our computers, our mainframe.

Livia: And you disagree?

Derek: Well, look, I have a live, big case ready to blow. I need all the data and all the manpower I can handle.

Livia: Derek, why don't you let Edmund do what he does best -- use his brain? He could use the distraction.

Opal: Oh.

Bobby: I just got in today. Anita was my first stop, but tomorrow was going to be all about you.

Palmer: Well, I'll hold that lie close to my heart.

Opal: Oh, wherever, whatever. I'm glad you're back. And look at that gorgeous little wife of yours standing there all shy and quiet. I mean, it's been so long that she didn't know what to do with you. No wonder she thinks something's wrong.

Palmer: Opal, would you shut off the drivel valve? Can't you see? I mean, they are together, you know.

Bobby: And I'm going to make the most of it. Are you two back together?

Palmer: No.

Opal: Only under the direst of circumstances, like when we got to gang up against our son. Now, you haven't seem some little redheaded devil come running through with a grape-juice-filled water pistol, have you?

Bobby: Luckily, no.

Palmer: So what was it? Too much work? Just too much pressure? Is that why you didn't get in touch?

Bobby: Ah, you know how business is.

Palmer: Mm-hmm. I know how a young, proud man might be, well, a little hesitant about contacting his family when he owes them money.

Bobby: Palmer, that debt is about to be paid off. There is an investment of your caliber that is about to pay off.

Palmer: Who'd you put the touch on now?

Bobby: No touch needed. My boss helped me out with this one, and he's fantastic.

Opal: Well, that sounds like a little hero-worship. You'd better be careful. Somebody's going to get jealous.

Bobby: Well, the respect is mutual. He's putting me on the East Coast in charge of the offices so I can be with Anita. That's why I came here in person to tell her the good news.

Opal: Well, isn't that just the best news you've heard in a long time, honey bunch? No more long-distance loving, no more dilly-dallying in the desert?

Palmer: You can dilly-dally right here in Pine Valley. You need to settle down, young man.

Jamie: All I know is between SOS and all the other stuff --

Reggie: What "other stuff," Jamie?

Jamie: Back at the wedding, remember? I told you J.R. wanted me to take his first dance with the bride. What is that? And then there's Adam telling me to hang out at his house, spend more time with Babe.

Reggie: Wait a minute, wait. If J.R.'s in this with Adam, it just got really ugly.

Jamie: It makes me sick to think it. But it looks like J.R.'s trying to set up Babe, and she has no idea what's coming.

Bianca: I'm so happy that you-all found each other. It's like fate knew you both deserved a miracle.

David: Look, I hate to dote-and-run, but I really have to leave.

Krystal: Yeah, she might grow before you see her next time. She kind of has a way of doing that.

David: Oh, I'll be back -- soon and often. You take care, little one.

Krystal: David? Thank you.

Babe: Wow.

Bianca: Yeah, big "Wow." Hey, Babe, can I talk to you for a second?

Babe: Sure.

Krystal: I'll let you girls be alone.

Babe: Look at you! You look so happy!

Bianca: I know. You'd better be careful. I might hug you again.

Babe: You know you're a part of this, too. You're Bess' godmother and you're my best friend, and you're David's -- well, pretty much, you're the best thing in David's life.

Bianca: Hmm, that was before you. You have no idea what you've done by letting David into your life -- for you and for Bess. David has been really lost since Leora died, and Miranda brought back everything that he's been trying to shut out. But he's got a lot of love in him. I know he does. It's just that that's been shoved aside for other things. And now he's got you and your beautiful baby. And I know if anyone can bring the love back, it's you and that amazing little girl.

Tad: I don't want to cut Hayward any more slack than you do. I don't care whose father he is. He's a menace to society. But maybe what Bianca said wasn't all wrong.

Adam: Oh, then you want to embrace the viper? Good. Good. It's always good to have an idiot to venture into the minefield.

Tad: I'm not suggesting we hug him, Adam. I'm just saying it maybe be a good idea to tolerate him.

Adam: Oh, he's lucky I haven't ripped his eyes out for looking at my granddaughter.

J.R.: You know exactly what I see when I look at Hayward -- the man that put Mom under. I was a kid then, but things have changed. I'm not about to let this guy have the power to mess with my family ever again. That means nothing changes between Babe and me.

Tad: I'm glad to hear it.

J.R.: That doesn't mean that I'm not going to fight to keep him away from my baby or my wife.

David: Well, that's a losing battle, son, because I plan to model myself after your dear old dad. I'm going to protect my daughter no matter what the cost. And if anybody tries to get to her, they're going to have to go through me first.

Bianca: Hasn't quite sunk in yet, has it?

Babe: No, it's just so weird. I just -- I grew up my whole life without a father. I just kind of got used to the idea that it was meant to be.

Bianca: Well, that's why this is so amazing. Now, don't believe everything that you've heard about David. I mean, all the bad things that he's done are completely separate from who he is.

Babe: I'm a personal fan of that, but not everybody feels that way.

Bianca: Well, I'm not delusional here. I know that David is a complex guy, and he's gotten darker since he lost Leora.

Babe: You love him a lot.

Bianca: Yeah, I do. But I'm not the daughter he needs. Now he has you.

Babe: It should've been you. You two just love each other so much.

Bianca: That's true, but I had a father. Not for long enough, but he was a wonderful man. Now it's your turn. You already let your daughter into my life. Now you should let her into David's, and see how close they grow, how fast. And once you have David's heart, you'll have the greatest protector you could ever ask for.

David: You know, it's interesting. I was just upstairs watching Babe with Bess just now, and she was concerned but not oppressive. Loving but not obsessed.

J.R.: You know, why don't you save the hard sell. I already married the woman.

Adam: Yeah, forget about the dowry.

David: So in my professional and in my personal opinion, any concerns that you might have regarding Babe's mothering skills, chalk them up to your own lack of experience. Babe is a wonderful mother.

J.R.: Yeah, well, I have all the faith in the world in my wife.

David: That baby is in exceptional hands. And if anybody wants to argue that point, they can feel free to come and do it with me -- Babe's new daddy.

Jamie: I need more info, and that's where that jerk Seth comes in.

Reggie: Yeah, my favorite neighborhood dealer.

Jamie: I mean, if J.R. did dope Babe, he got those drugs off of Seth. Something went down between them at Metro.

Reggie: Yeah, but he's not going to dime on J.R. right off the bat. He has to have more sense than that if he never got arrested or busted.

Jamie: Maybe he's cocky by now.

Reggie: Maybe he just needs a little convincing.

Jamie: You in?

Reggie: Like I'm going to let you do this all by yourself?

Derek: Excuse me, Edmund. You still itching to get in my database?

Edmund: I don't want to strain your mainframe there, Derek.

Derek: Which is why you're not getting anywhere near my computer in the day, but the demands aren't so heavy at night.

Edmund: You saying what I think you're saying?

Derek: Well, you have a hunch, and if you're right, I don't want to be the guy that gets in your way.

Edmund: Can I start tonight?

Derek: Are you giving me a choice?

Zach: It sounds big. Is it something you want to talk about, or do I wait for the magazine?

Edmund: Like the man said, it's just a hunch. But you know what? I'm going to roll with it. Honey, do you mind if I bail?

Maria: Could I stop you?

Edmund: No.

Maria: No. I know. I'm going to wait here for Anita, ok?

Danielle: I'll see you later, Daddy. I can get home myself.

Livia: Nice try.

Tom: You'll ride home with us.

Zach: Well, it looks like the party's breaking up. And my date still hasn't shown up, so I'll wait here for Bobby.

Edmund: Ok, listen, I'll see you later, ok?

Maria: Ok, honey.

Edmund: Hey, Chief, let's roll.

Derek: See you.

Zach: See you, guys. Nice to meet you.

Livia: Good night.

Tom: Nice meeting you.

Zach: Good night. Bye.

Maria: Bye, you guys.

Danielle: You rethink my offer, please?

Babe: Oh, my Bess. My beautiful baby girl. You're still mine. I thought that we were saying goodbye to each other before. But we're still together -- you and me and Daddy. I'm so glad that I can do that for you, give you a daddy that you can be proud of. I mean, can you believe it? I have a daddy, too.

[Baby coos]

Babe: No matter how we both started out, now we both have a daddy to love.

Tad: So that's it? Your work here is done? You're just going to drop the bomb and leave? What was all that nonsense about Babe's mothering skills you were throwing at J.R.?

David: Just something between me and my new son-in-law.

Tad: He said with a straight face.

David: If you're at all concerned about Babe and Bess, forget me. Keep an eye on your own son and his other father.

J.R.: How did this happen, hmm? David's on to something, and Tad's not far behind him. My darling wife just got two duel-to-the-death champions.

Adam: One does wonder what charms they see in her.

J.R.: Hayward is her father. I don't know what makes me hate her worse -- the fact that she lies all the time or that she may have passed Hayward�s genes to my kid.

Adam: No, no, Bess is 100% Chandler. Don't ever forget that. Before Daddy arrived, you were all set to take your chances with custody and divorce Babe. What about now?

J.R.: With the devil and the Boy Scout on her team? Listen, I'm not about ready to lose my kid because I didn't play this smart.

Adam: Uh-huh. And just where does wisdom lie in this instance?

J.R.: More evidence -- the kind that guarantees that Bess will never hear Babe's name ever again. And we do it in a way that Babe never has a clue.

Opal: Oh, young lovers reunited, just to get stuck with the fogies? We're going to let you watch the fireworks.

Palmer: The fireworks are over, genius.

Opal: Well, they can make their own fireworks, or are you too dotty to remember? Now, come on. Let's go find Petey.

Palmer: I tell you, one minute with you and I go absolutely bananas. I cannot remember my name. I can't do anything.

Opal: It's "brick-headed mule," ok, just so's you know.

Bobby: Just for the record -- and I love them -- but I don't want that to be us. Look, I'm -- ahem -- I'm sorry that I didn't call. I guess I was just hurt and angry that you didn't come to Vegas, and I guess I wanted to prove to you that I changed.

Anita: Yeah, well, things have changed a lot.

Bobby: I've made it, Anita. I've got a steady job. We've got investments that are paying off bigger than our dreams. So not only do you have a husband that you can believe in, you --

Anita: Stop it, Bobby.

Bobby: You've got one that can give you everything that you deserve.

Anita: It's all still a dream.

Bobby: It's a dream, yeah, one that's come true for us.

Anita: No, it's over!

Bobby: Listen, this is just the first stage, and next time it'll be bigger.

Anita: There is no "next time," Bobby -- not for us. I filed for divorce.

Maria: You missed the fireworks.

Zach: I caught a few.

Maria: Yeah, they were really beautiful. They -- you know, you would've loved them. You missed all the requisite oohing and aahing, and it was -- it was very impressive. Now all those little fireflies will probably be coming out soon. But you know what? It might be too early. I don't know, is that, like, a July/early August thing?

Zach: I remember a time when we only spoke when we had something to say.

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