AMC Transcript Tuesday 5/18/04

All My Children Transcript Tuesday 5/18/04

By Suzanne
Proofread by Gisele

Greenlee: No! Stop! Stop the wedding! Tell me -- tell me you just asked why -- "If anyone knows why this couple should not be joined in unholy matrimony," and let me rip!

Kendall: Go home, Greenlee. Ryan has already made his choice.

Ryan: Greenlee, what the hell happened to you?

Greenlee: Your psycho bride happened.

Simone: Don't mind me. I'm not a bride.

Ryan: Kendall said that -- that --

Greenlee: Then you know it's a lie!

Ryan: She said that you signed off on all of this, that she apologized to you for kicking you out of Fusion, that you guys made up, and you give us your blessing.

Greenlee: When did this little hug fest happen? Was that before or after she hip-checked me and locked me in the tower? Simone had to break me out.

Simone: Greenlee's telling the truth. I found her in the tower, like Rapunzel with her hair cut off.

Minister: Excuse me -- why don't I leave you all to sort this out.

Ryan: Don't move, padre. There is still going to be a wedding.

Minister: Well, I can't marry all three of you.

Ryan: Like Kendall said, I've already made my choice.

Kendall: Ryan, you won't be sorry. All the crazy things I did, I couldn't lose you. Thank God that you understand. You understand that it's still not too late for us.

Ryan: Greenlee, I'm so sorry that you had to go through all of this.

Kendall: Yes. So am I. I'm so sorry, too, but you get it now, right? You get it that Ryan and I, we belong to each other.

Ryan: As I was saying, I'm sorry that you had to take such a lousy detour to the altar. We can continue our wedding as planned.

Kendall: What? No -- Ryan, no! No, Ryan, you can't!

Ryan: Just watch me. You know what, better yet, why don't you find a cliff to dance off? This is the woman that I can't wait to marry, if she'll still have me.

Greenlee: All I need is a bouquet.

Simone: Come on, Kendall. Let's cab it back to the airport, huh? And when -- you know, the plane is waiting.

Kendall: No, no, no, no! No, you don't get to write me off just like that. I went through too much to get here. Every single doubt, every single fear. I chartered a plane to go after you just to admit that I messed up. I was ready to beg Greenlee to forgive me. I was even willing to share Fusion with her. And then I show up, and I get the ultimate slap in the face -- you're marrying Greenlee. I mean, what was I supposed to do, Ryan? Tell me, what the hell was I supposed to do?

Ryan: Simone, you want to give Greenlee and I a wedding present -- get her out of here.

Kendall: No, Ryan! No, no, I will not let you marry Greenlee, not when you just showed me that I'm the one that you love.

Liza: J.R., is it safe to talk?

J.R.: Around here, you take your chances.

Liza: How are you?

J.R.: Never better, and you?

Liza: Well, frankly, I'm confused.

J.R.: Oh, is it something I can help you with?

Liza: Well, I thought I was helping you by giving you that information.

J.R.: You showed me proof that my wife had a husband when we got married. Quit pretending like you're helping me.

Liza: My mother tells me the wedding plans for you and Babe are still on.

J.R.: Yeah, you should have already received your invitation.

Liza: When are you planning on pulling the pin on the bombshell I gave you?

Tad: What bombshell is that?

Babe: You're so good. Paul, hey.

Paul: I'm out of here.

Babe: Wait, hang on a sec.

Paul: What? What do you want?

Babe: I -- I know that I've been a big thorn in your side, but I just wanted to let you know that I'm out of the troublemaking business.

Paul: Oh. Yeah, right.

Babe: You know, when I was in hard labor, you came storming in that cabin. I was so grateful to see you. I wouldn't have this baby if it weren't for you, Paul. How can I ever thank you for everything that you've done?

Paul: You know what, forget about it, all right? I was just doing my job. So what is she doing here, anyway?

Babe: Well, hold on a second. Come here, pretty. She is just here, you know, the normal baby stuff -- checkups and vaccinations. I think I cry more than my little Bess does when they stick her.

Paul: Sure. Right. Well, I'm just here to pick up a paycheck, so have a nice life.

Babe: Wait, Paul. I just needed to ask you one thing.

Paul: No. No more favors, Babe.

Babe: It's not a favor. I just -- I just need some help tying up some loose ends.

Paul: No. It's never loose ends with you, all right? It's always a live wire that gets me right in the --

Babe: Well, I took care of our annulment, didn't I?

Paul: After you married husband number two.

Babe: Yeah. And J.R. found out about it, but you know what, he forgave me. It shows how much he loves me.

Paul: Well, that's -- that's great. Props to you.

Babe: Now there's nothing in the world that can wreck us.

Paul: That's -- that's sweet. You can go your way, I can go mine.

Babe: I'm all for that, believe me, but first, there's -- there's one loose end that's -- that's driving me a bit crazy about the baby.

Paul: Well, you've already thanked me.

Babe: Paul, you're the only person that can give me the truth. I just can't believe what I want to believe anymore. I need to know for sure. Tell me whose child my baby really is.

Paul: Babe, you were totally wacked out up in that cabin. Whatever you think you saw was a total --

Babe: Wait, whoa, whoa, the cabin? The one where Bianca and I gave birth? What brought us back to that?

Paul: Well, what did you just ask me? I mean --

Babe: I need to know who my little girl really is. Is she a Chandler or is she a Martin? Is J.R. the father or is it Jamie? What did you think that I was asking you?

Paul: I don't know with you, Babe.

Babe: Well, once I gave birth and you put Bess in my arms, it all gets a little fuzzy after that.

Paul: That's normal. You had a rough night.

Babe: Yeah, but one of the fuzzies was I remember asking who the daddy really was. Did you ever even tell me?

Paul: Look, I don't really see why you care about this. I mean, you have the life that you wanted.

Babe: Paul, if you told me then, you can tell me now. Did you change the test results, or is J.R. really the father?

Paul: No, I'm not going to go through this with you.

Babe: Fine, then, I'll just order another test. Then we'll see for sure who the daddy really is.

J.R.: There are some things your closest associate won't tell you. Well, then there's Liza.

Liza: Tad, you're interrupting a private conversation.

J.R.: Doesn't pull the punches, tractor beam straight to the jugular -- that's the secret to her success. Either way, she's a powerful ally.

Tad: Oh, yeah. Liza as a friend is definitely safer than Liza as a foe.

Liza: You know, Liza doesn't like being talked about when, like, Liza is in the room. Could you excuse us?

Tad: No. I want to hear all about your bombshell. By all means, what uber weapon did little miss destruction here unveil?

J.R.: Sorry, Tad. That's Chandler business.

Tad: Oh. I see. You could tell me, but then you'd have to kill me, is that it?

J.R.: Yeah, something like that.

Tad: Huh. All right, ok, fine. No skin off my teeth. I just wanted to stop by and leave this for Bess.

J.R.: Well, actually, they're out. Babe and Bess, both.

Tad: Yeah, well, that's ok. I'll leave it with you, and then you can open it with them later on. I'll leave you to your business meetings and bombshells.

Liza: Thanks for the cover.

J.R.: Well, we are still family, even though you're trying to blow mine out of the water.

Liza: I'm just the messenger.

J.R.: Why don't you tell that to Tad when he finds out you broke the news about Babe's bigamy?

Liza: Well, he doesn't even know that I was involved in any way.

J.R.: Would you like something?

Liza: No, thank you.

J.R.: I'm not after you, Liza. I've got what I want, what I plan to keep. And I've already told Babe that I've forgiven her.

Liza: You can't be serious. Babe deceived you. Krystal guided her every step.

J.R.: Well, nobody's perfect.

Liza: J.R. --

J.R.: I'm sorry, Liza. I'm not throwing her out. I'm marrying her, so you're going to have to find another way to get Tad away from Krystal.

Krystal: I mean, think about it. Who looks at the world through beige-colored glasses? Or cheers anybody up with a bunch of beige balloons, huh?

Tad: Pledges allegiance to the red, white, and beige?

Krystal: All I'm saying is living in a house with wall-to-wall flesh tones is boring!

Painter: The paint chip says it's triple beige.

Krystal: Yes, I know. "Winter wheat," "arctic oatmeal" -- I mean, come on, where's the musky mushroom? They're all shades of blah. Honey, I'm not trying to push anything like Day-Glo orange, just cut the monotony with a splash of color, you know? Liven things up a tone or three.

Tad: You should listen to her, guy. The woman's a living study in contrast.

Painter: Any changes, I have to run by Ms. Smythe first.

Krystal: Come on. I mean, if you don't have any choice -- just remember, this is a wedding, not a wake.

Painter: Ok. Guys, let's take a break.

[Tad laughs]

Tad: Well, you can color me gone.

Krystal: Tad, Tad, wait, wait, wait. Look, I know we've been kind of taking shots at each other like -- well, like we're married, but -- I mean, I don't have a hatchet handy, but can we at least bury the paintbrush?

Greenlee: Kendall, this is your last chance to make a semigraceful exit. Take it.

Simone: Kendall, come on. Whatever you thought was going to happen isn't.

Kendall: You weren't here, Simone. Neither were you. Should I tell them what happened, Ryan? Should I tell your bride what just happened? You stood right here and you kissed me. You held me so tight, I couldn't breathe. How can you marry her when you're in love with me? The way you looked at me, the way we danced together -- I'm the one you love, Ryan. I'm the only one.

Ryan: I love the woman that came here to make things right. I kissed the woman that found it in her heart to forgive and to let go. I danced with the woman who let go of all the crap that was weighing us down. But the woman who took Greenlee prisoner and lied to me -- well, that woman I'm over and done with. I was over with her before I even got here. Love is enough for most people, Kendall, but not you. And definitely not us, because the lies just keep coming.

Kendall: No, I'm not lying to you about this. I told you the truth about what counts. I love you. I'm not lying about that. That's not a lie.

Ryan: I'm marrying Greenlee because I trust her. But you? There is no way that I can trust you now. I can't take your word for anything, Kendall, not even the correct time. I mean, thank God I have a watch that I trust, because when we meet in the Cambias boardroom -- which will be the only place that we meet -- I'll bring my trusty watch and a strong ally. Are you up for it?

Greenlee: Raring to go, partner.

Kendall: "Partner"? No.

Ryan: Yeah, my wedding present to Greenlee is half of Cambias Industries.

Greenlee: I am so going to enjoy owning you.

Liza: Babe played you. You can't let her get away with this.

J.R.: Ah, you know, this really seems to bug you a lot more than me.

Liza: Babe lied to you.

J.R.: There's nothing new about that. I was raised on lies.

Liza: If you need my help --

J.R.: I know what I'm doing.

Liza: J.R., I've been in your position. I've been in love and I've been blind to somebody's faults. Babe is your call, but there's no excuse in keeping Krystal around.

J.R.: Just drop it, Liza. I'm marrying Babe. You're invited to the wedding. So is Krystal. I hope you're there.

Liza: Honestly. I'll try and muster a smile.

J.R.: Thank you for the 411 on Krystal and Babe. You know, you can't always get what you want. But I plan on it.

Liza: I hope you know what you're doing.

J.R.: Believe me, it's all under control.

Liza: Hmm. You know, you sound a little bit like Adam.

J.R.: Hmm. I could do worse. Hey, good luck with Tad and Krystal.

Tad: Is this your way of saying that our manners need some brushing up?

Krystal: Can we call a truce?

Tad: Well, I don't know. That's the $24,000 question, isn't it? Because we're always looking for neutral ground, Krystal. It seems like when we start, everything's fine, all light and flaky and lots of laughter, and the next thing you know, we're --

Krystal: Yeah, we end up going at each other like a couple of rabid grizzlies.

Tad: Well, if you've got something else that you'd like to say to me, I can take it. After all, you did appreciate my endurance once upon a time.

Krystal: Tad, look, I'm a hot-tempered gal, ok? I admit it. I've been that way since forever, but -- I'm sorry about going at you the other night. I really do -- I want to be your friend.

Tad: Ok. Friends. So, buddy, are you really serious about all this painting nonsense? I mean, come on. We'd do battle.

Krystal: Oh, yes, sir. I mean, come on. Look at this -- look at this -- this sure does beat beige on beige, does it not?

Tad: Where did you -- that's disgusting. Did you mix that yourself?

Krystal: It's my own custom blend.

Tad: Where the hell did you learn so little about latex? That's just --

Krystal: Well, I tell you, when you're too poor for paint and you're too proud to whitewash, then you improvise. You borrow a can of lemon yellow from your neighbor, you buy a half a can of sky blue at a yard sale, and you're in business. Presto, you got emerald green, and you are looking right into Scarlett O�Hara�s eyes.

Tad: Yeah, well, there's nothing beige about that.

Krystal: I mean, come on. Look, this is a living room, right? Where's the life? I mean, give me a couple hours and a can of my special blend, and we are in business.

Tad: In Adam Chandler's house?

[Krystal giggles]

Tad: I dare you.

Krystal: Only if you join me.

Tad: Yeah, I --

Krystal: Huh?

Tad: Ok, all right.

Krystal: All right!

Tad: That'd be worth the price of -- now, wait a minute -- no, seriously -- ok, we don't want to start World War III, so I tell you what -- let's just -- let's just do this, all right, and we'll see if we can give old Mary Smythe a heart attack, all right?

Krystal: Yeah. Well, she's probably going to order everybody to paint over it anyway, but you know what -- I will have already made my splash.

Tad: Ok, well, speaking of which, watch --

Krystal: Oh, careful! Careful.

Tad: Ok. Yep.

[Krystal giggles]

Tad: Damn. You're going to have to forgive me. I'm not necessarily your DIY type of guy.

Krystal: Well, you're missing out on a whole lot of fun there.

Tad: I don't know. Maybe, maybe not. Every time I try to delve into domestic bliss, everything always goes terrible, you know? Like, there was a time I went after a Thanksgiving Day turkey with a chain saw.

Krystal: You did not.

Tad: I did so.

Krystal: Wait, wait --

Tad: My hand to God.

Krystal: Wait, wait, wait -- hold on, now.

Tad: What's so funny?

Krystal: You got a little on your face, that's what. Hang on, come -- come here, come here.

Paul: Babe, you want to forget about paternity tests. You don't want to go there.

Babe: Oh, my God. Does this mean that Jamie's the father?

[Paul sighs]

Paul: Oh, God. Why can't you just leave this the hell alone, huh?

Babe: Paul, please. Come on, if I'm going to lie to my husband, that's one thing that I have to live with. But you -- if you know that J.R.'s the father, just be human. Give me a little bit of peace of mind here. Otherwise, I'm going to have to cut off a lock of my beautiful baby's hair and get another DNA test.

Paul: Ok. Ok. The baby is J.R.'s. Are you happy?

Babe: Are you lying to me to get me off your back?

Paul: Babe, the baby is yours and J.R.'s. That's what you wanted, so leave it alone.

Babe: If I even find out that you're lying to me, I will cruise to Llanview so fast and I will tell your Aunt Dorian about our little marriage.

Paul: Oh. Ok. Well, go ahead. I've already lost the megamillion inheritance.

Babe: Then I'll find some other way to make trouble for you. Knowing you, you've got a lot of dirty things laying around.

Paul: Well, you can do that, but you will regret it. And that little cute baby you love with all your heart, hmm? As easily as I gave it to you, I can take it away.

Kendall: No, Ryan, you can't give half of Cambias Industries to Greenlee.

Greenlee: I would have been happy with a toaster, but Ryan insisted.

Kendall: No, the Cambias papers haven't changed. The clause still stands. Greenlee isn't allowed to have any part of Cambias Industries.

Ryan: Except I'm filing the papers after I marry Greenlee, which means Cambias becomes community property, which means we split it 50/50 -- half to Greenlee, half to me. And your nasty little clause can't do a damn thing about it.

Kendall: No, this can't be legal.

Ryan: Believe me, it's legal.

Greenlee: You're playing a losing hand, Kendall. It's time to fold. But you know what the hell of it is? If you would genuinely apologize, ask me to step back, and let Ryan make his choice, I would have. But you blew it. There's only one woman who's taking Ryan to be her wedded husband, and it won't be you.

Kendall: You stupid bitch.

Ryan: Hey, hey, guys, take it easy.

Greenlee: What? What?

Kendall: Hey.

Simone: Hey, this is stupid!

Kendall: Get out of my way.

Simone: No! You're friends!

Greenlee: You stupid --


Kendall: Oh, my God! Oh! Get over here! Get -- g ? Get over here! Get -- get over here!

Simone: Oh, my God! Oh, you guys! Oh!

Minister: Oh, my!

Kendall: You got -- oh!

Ryan: Kendall, come here. Come on. Just --

Kendall: You --

Greenlee: Oh! Oh!

Ryan: All right, that's enough!

Kendall: Wait. No, Ryan, wait! Ryan, wait! You can't just leave me, Ryan! Ryan!

[After a dip in the decorative pool, Ryan takes Greenlee in his arms and carries her up to their room]

Tad: Did you get it?

Krystal: Ah. Oh, no. Oh, no, let me see.

Tad: Didn't get it?

Krystal: No, you got a little bit right --

Tad: Where?

Krystal: There.

Tad: Whoa, oh! Oh! You so stink! I can't believe it. I roll up my sleeves to give you a hand, and this is what I -- give me the -- come here, give me the rag for a sec. Well, at least give me the rag. Let me tell you something, girlfriend, you're not getting away with that.

Krystal: Oh -- oh!

Tad: There you go, baby.

Krystal: Ah! Tad!

Tad: How about that? There you go.

Krystal: Stop it! You got it all over me!

Tad: You bet it's all over! Let this be a lesson to you. See -- it's not art, I don't know, but I know I like it.

Krystal: Oh, yeah, take that, Picasso.

Tad: Oh, you are just -- no. Oh, you are -- you are so dead --

Krystal: Ah! Whoo!

Tad: Come here. Come here!

Krystal: Wait, wait, wait, wait!

[Krystal screams]

Tad: Come here! Oh, oh.

Krystal: Oh, ah!

Tad: Ok. See, no, no. Come here. You're -- you are -- you're so going to get it. Come here. Come here.

Krystal: Ok, ok, ok. Oh, no!

Tad: You're dead.

[Krystal squeals]

Krystal: Tad, en garde, en garde.

Tad: There are people who would pay money for this. Stop! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Come here! Come here! Come here.

[Krystal screams]

Tad: Ok, now -- stop, I swear! Truce, truce. Krystal -- I don't know what those guys were complaining about, you know, this painting thing isn't so hard.

[Krystal laughs]

Krystal: Look at you. You are a walking piece of art, honey.

Tad: Yeah, well, you look like a Jackson Pollock with hair.

Krystal: Oh, thank you.

Tad: A real masterpiece.

Krystal: At least it's water-based paint, I hope.

Tad: Well, speaking of which, I'm going to try to get cleaned up before Mary tries to hang me on the wall. Don't -- don't.

Krystal: Oh! Oh, yeah, you better have a damn good reason for sneaking around here, or I'm going to mix that paint with your head.

Liza: Look, Ms. Freeloader, you don't have any right to ask me what I'm doing here.

Krystal: Oh, hold on a minute. Listen to me -- I can play down and dirty just as well as you can, Liza.

J.R.: Well, it is a beautiful day.

Livia: And you're certainly in a better mood than you were after our last meeting.

J.R.: Congratulate me, Livia. I'm getting married.

Livia: To whom?

J.R.: Well, to Babe, of course.

Livia: Well, forgive me for assuming that it might be someone that you hadn't planned on having arrested for bigamy charges. J.R., do not get married for the wrong reasons.

J.R.: No, no, I have the best reason, but I need your help.

Livia: Well, I'm not going to be involved in anything shady.

J.R.: No, it's strictly on the up and up. I've forgiven Babe.

Livia: Well, that's large, and then some.

J.R.: But I have to be prepared in case anything falls apart. I need to know how I can stop Paul Cramer and anybody else from getting their hands on my child.

Babe: Don't you ever, ever threaten my baby again.

Paul: Honest to God, Babe, you know you're more trouble than you're worth. I mean, do you have any idea how long a prison sentence is for kidnapping?

Babe: Bianca didn't kidnap Bess. She thought that she was Miranda. And Bianca isn't going to jail. She's suffered enough, thanks to your little crash landing.

Paul: Oh, you're right about one thing. She doesn't deserve that, not like you do.

Babe: How could you sit here and say something so hateful?

Paul: You know what -- why don't you do yourself and your baby a favor. You stop asking questions and you leave me the hell alone.

Ryan: Ahem.

Greenlee: Maybe we should talk about what just happened out there.

Ryan: What do you want to hear -- that I was a jerk? That I got taken in by Kendall's lies again? I mean, how many times has she rooked me?

Greenlee: If you're a jerk, then so am I. I got taken in, too, Ryan. I wanted to believe Kendall.

Ryan: How did she get you up to that tower?

Greenlee: She said she wanted to go someplace private where we could hash it out and she could apologize. Shoot me, but I wanted to be her friend again. I wanted to believe the best in her. One more thing you and I have in common. You're mad as hell now, but you were a dance away from marrying Kendall. I saw you from the tower. She loves you, which means dip to me. All I care about is what it means to you.

Ryan: Kendall's love means nothing to me. Nothing. And all the crap that she just pulled just confirms what I already know -- that we don't have a shot, that -- that she can't win unless somebody else loses. I mean, if she hadn't locked you in that tower -- if she told the truth for once in her life, then --

Greenlee: You and Kendall would be married right now. Ok. You used your lifeline to answer the Kendall question. Now, what about us?

Simone: Kendall, look what I got at the gift shop. Here you go, keep you warm.

Kendall: Simone, I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. Why did I do this? Why? Everything was perfect. The scene was perfect. The love was there, even the trust. I don't -- I mean, we had the minister all ready to go.

Simone: It just wasn't meant to be, Kendall.

Kendall: I don't -- why? Why did I lock Greenlee in that stupid tower?

Simone: Time and therapy, girlfriend. Time and therapy.

Kendall: No, you were on the plane with me, Simone. You saw that my plan was no collateral damage. I was all ready to forgive and forget, so what the hell do I do now?

Simone: Well, we get you in a dry change of clothes, and we fly the hell out of here.

Kendall: No. No. I can't go anywhere. I can't leave, not until this is fixed.

Simone: Kendall, there's no way to fix this.

Kendall: Simone, Ryan's not married yet. There's still time. I will do anything. Please, Simone -- please help me. I will try anything.

Simone: If you're that desperate to hang on to Ryan, there is one last resort -- the truth.

Ryan: I won't lie to you. I got a kick out of letting Kendall know that we found a way around the no-Greenlee clause.

Greenlee: But now that the thrill's gone?

Ryan: I am not going to hold you to anything, Greenlee. If you want to catch the next flight out of here --

Greenlee: You're with me?

Ryan: All the way.

Greenlee: There's something about me and weddings. They never go the way I imagine. But one thing is totally clear now. Going in this marriage deal was a whole lot sweeter for me than it was for you. I want to even things up. So, Ryan, this is my wedding gift to you -- a safe place that you can come home to, where someone you trust will always be waiting. A haven where you can close the door on all the liars and know that I'll give it to you straight. I'll never try to control you, and I'll do my best to always steer you in the right direction. It's not the billions you're offering me, but --

Ryan: You're right, it's not. It's worth a hell of a lot more.

Ryan: Now, at the risk of repeating myself -- will you marry me?

Greenlee: You bet I will. On one condition.

Ryan: Name it.

Greenlee: I got to get out of these wet clothes.

Ryan: Ok, you got it. I'll go track down the Reverend Lovejoy.

[Greenlee laughs]

Greenlee: He must think we're major loons.

Ryan: But we don't care what anybody else thinks, do we? Now, I will meet you outside, and we'll do it right this time.

Liza: Well, I'm sure you've done this before, only with mud, not paint, and with men cheering on the sidelines.

Krystal: Huh. You think I'm the worst kind of lowlife, but, honey, there is low and there is low.

Liza: Well, you're no stranger to dirt.

Krystal: Cozying up to me, acting all concerned, pretending to be my friend -- I know exactly the kind of person that you are, Liza.

Liza: Really? Does that mean our date at the swap meet's off?

Krystal: And Tad told me everything. He never spilled any family secret.

Liza: Want to bet another coat of paint on that?

Krystal: All right, miss know-it-all. You say you're in on some womping secret, then prove it. Let's hear it.

Liza: I'll tell you what, I'm just going to let you off on a warning. Make sure your faith in Tad is not misplaced.

Tad: Was that Mary? I heard voices. I didn't want to miss her jaw drop.

Krystal: No, that wasn't Mary. That was another piece of nastiness.

Babe: Mama, you have to help me!

Krystal: What, what is it, honey?

Babe: It's Paul Cramer. You won't even believe what he said.

Krystal: Look, whatever he said, don't believe it, because it is a lie.

Bianca: Mmm. Mmm. The best part about cotton candy is it just melts in your mouth.

Maggie: Leaving nothing behind but the calories.

Bianca: Do you know what my favorite part of today was?

Maggie: Hmm. So far? The volleyball tournament in the park, the baby ducks, and the crazy-looking guy in the clown suit next to the carousel.

Bianca: All of it. It just felt so much like normal. I just love it.

Maggie: That's great. It's very good, but it's the first time I'm going to take "normal" as a compliment.

Bianca: You're the best, Maggie.

Maggie: What is it?

Bianca: Oh, you already do so much for me already.

Maggie: Come on. Whatever you need.

Bianca: All right, well, there may be something. It has to do with Babe and her baby.

Adam: Well, this is a surprise, Liza.

Liza: Actually, the surprise is on you, Adam. Your son is marrying a bigamist.

J.R.: Bess is my world. I want to make sure I take every legal step necessary to hold on to her.

Livia: Including a loveless marriage.

J.R.: My feelings for Babe have not changed. I forgave her when she slept with my brother, but who knows what'll happen.

Livia: I don't see Babe here.

J.R.: I want Bess to grow up in a home where her needs come first.

Livia: And how do you plan on proceeding providing that?

J.R.: Well, I don't want to seem cynical. I hope that Babe and I last through our golden anniversary. But for whatever reason, it falls apart, I want to make sure my paternal rights are secured.

Livia: Not matter what.

J.R.: Well, life is so damned unpredictable, and with this annulment screwup, Paul Cramer could lay his claim on Bess anytime he wants to, and there's no way that I'm going to let that happen.

Livia: Your concerns are legitimate.

J.R.: So where do we go from here?

Livia: We file a petition with the court, asking them to sign off on the standing DNA test.

J.R.: Hmm. And how long does that take?

Livia: I can have the papers prepared for you and Babe to sign tomorrow.

J.R.: Excellent.

Babe: Mama, you don't even know what he said. How do you even know that it was a lie?

Krystal: Look, I -- I just know that anything he said that got you this riled up -- it's got to be a bunch of bull!

Babe: It was horrible. It was the nastiest thing ever.

Krystal: Honey, you know Paul Cramer has one mission in life, and that's to stir up trouble, so don't -- just don't let him get to you.

Tad: I for one want to know exactly what he said.

Krystal: No, no, no, no. Listen, you just get this whole thing out of your head, honey.

Babe: Mama, I have to tell you what he said. He was making all kinds of threats, and he said something about kidnapping.

Tad: What?

Babe: At first I thought he was talking about Bianca taking Bess, but then I'm driving home, and it hit me. Maybe Paul is thinking about taking Bess. All right, we have to do something about that.

Krystal: Hey, wait, wait, wait -- where are you going?

Tad: Where do you think I'm going? I'm going to take care of Mr. Cramer.

Krystal: No, no, no, Tad! You can't do that. Just leave Paul Cramer the hell alone.

>> On the next "All My Children" --

Tad: J.R. knows that you two aren't legally married?

J.R.: Couldn't resist one last shot? Get out of my sight.

Greenlee: Nothing can ruin my wedding day now.

Kendall: Can you forgive me the same way that you forgave Greenlee?

Ryan: Of course I can forgive you, Kendall.

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