All My Children Transcript Wednesday 3/31/04
Proofread by Gisele
Aidan: So what do you say, then, Anita? Fancy learning how to pound the leather?
Anita: Oh, no, it's not really my style.
Aidan: Oh, don't knock it till you've tried it. I'm a good teacher.
Anita: It just -- it seems like such a waste of energy.
Aidan: Well, you're wrong. Actually, it's a really good way to work out all of the things that are eating you up inside.
Anita: Uh --
Aidan: Come on, what do you say?
Anita: All right. All right. It's quieter than primal-scream therapy and cheaper than a month at the spa.
Aidan: Brilliant. I'll get the wraps. You'll need to take off your jewelry.
Maria: You know, I don't even remember the last time we had an honest-to-God movie date.
Edmund: Well, when I found out they were showing a Raoul Walsh flick that we hadn't seen --
Maria: It'd have to be the only one.
Edmund: You comfortable?
Maria: I would take worn-out seats and a classic about gumshoes and gun molls any day over a multiplex.
Edmund: You got that right, angel face. You know what's a great thing about taking a classy broad like you to the flicks?
Edmund: Reaching for the popcorn and missing.
Edmund: You know, for a ritzy broad, you got a great set of pins.
Maria: And you call yourself a tough guy.
Kendall: Why are you here?
Ryan: You shouldn't have to go through this alone.
Kendall: I don't have the energy to fight you.
Ryan: Well, then don't. There you go.
Ryan: It's nice and warm.
Krystal: Who's a girl got to sleep with around here to get a little privacy?
Tad: I'm sorry. I thought you might need --
Krystal: What? What exactly do you think I need?
Tad: Krystal, take it easy. I know Babe's in a bad way. I heard you crying. I thought maybe --
Krystal: No, you're wrong. I don't do that.
Tad: Do what?
Krystal: I don't cry.
Tad: Ok. Is there anything I can do for you?
Krystal: Yeah, you know, you could just move along, all right, and give me a little breathing room?
Tad: Come on, Krystal --
Krystal: No, listen, I told you nicely, all right? Don't make me lose my manners.
Aidan: How's that feel?
Anita: Um -- like my hands are wrapped in pizza dough -- which kind of brings on this whole craving for a good calzone.
Aidan: Well, if we survive this lesson, I promise you it's my treat.
Anita: Yo, Aidan, extra cheese or it's lights out.
Aidan: Hey, hey, nice Rocky impression. Anyway, you got to -- come here -- you got to stand like this, your left foot forward. Then you get your left arm, and you got to make sure -- and this is critical -- it's got to be close and tight to the face to protect your face.
Anita: Ok, protect the face.
Aidan: It's got to be closer. Listen, you got to take me seriously. Otherwise -- you see?
Aidan: See? You don't hold it there tight, you're going to do the other man's job for him. So now you got your hand here, protecting your face with your right. You punch and you rotate your wrist as you extend your arm.
Anita: Like a corkscrew?
Aidan: Well, the idea is to make sure that all your muscles, from your deltoid down to your wrist --
Anita: Wait, I'm ticklish!
Aidan: Oh. I'll file that for future reference. Come on. Let's see about hitting the bag. Give it your best shot.
Anita: I'm not very good at this.
Aidan: Not bad -- for a girl.
Anita: I am all woman, buster, and as soon as I get this thing all figured out, I'm going to knock that sexist attitude right out of you.
Aidan: I'll hold my breath.
Anita: Yeah, you do that. Ow! Ow.
Betty: So what's it going to be, Vic? Are you turning me in?
Vic: Give me a reason I shouldn't.
Betty: For starters, under that tough exterior beats a real human heart.
Vic: I'm all teary eyed. Try again, and make it fast. The clock's ticking, dollface.
Betty: We're two of a kind, you and me. We belong together.
Vic: Like a neck and a noose. Your time's almost up, cupcake, and I'm not convinced.
Maria: Aw, man. That was, like, the worst place for this to break.
Edmund: Well, it's not as if we don't know how it's going to end.
Maria: Honey, you said you hadn't seen this before.
Edmund: Come on, it's as obvious as that cute little nose on your face. He's going to turn her in.
Maria: No, he's not.
Edmund: Yes, he is.
Maria: He loves her.
Edmund: "He loves her."
Maria: He loves her.
Edmund: Yeah, well, you know, I'm telling you, if Bogie can turn in Mary Astor, Vic can turn in Betty.
Maria: Uh-uh. He's going to change his mind.
Edmund: Haven't you learned anything from all these movies that you saw with me late night on cable? Loner gumshoe finds girl, sticks to his principles, loses girl.
Maria: Yeah, but he already saved Betty once, so why wouldn't he save her life a second time?
Edmund: Well, because she shot his brother.
Maria: Who was a thief and a blackmailer.
Edmund: Who she was involved with at the time. There's only one way this can end.
Edmund: The Hays Code, 1933. Censors, you know? Crime doesn't pay, bad guy has to go to jail, blah, blah, blah, fade out, the end.
Maria: Oh, you know -- ok, let's say that they're doing a remake and you're the writer and you're going to do -- how would you do it?
Edmund: I'm the writer?
Maria: Yeah, you're the writer.
Edmund: Well, then it's a hit, you know. You mean after the special effects and the stunts?
Maria: Whatever. How would you rewrite it, tough guy?
Vic: Your time's almost up, dollface, and I'm not convinced.
Betty: Tick tock, Vic. Tick-- tock. Convinced yet?
Vic: Run that by me again. I think I see what you mean.
Betty: I knew you were smart.
Vic: This is the part where I turn into your lap dog, right, duchess?
Betty: You're nobody's lap dog, Vic. I love you, and I thought you loved me, too.
Vic: I do love you, angel, but you crossed the line when you killed my brother.
Betty: But I did it for you, Vic. You didn't know Dickie like I did.
Vic: I knew Dickie plenty. I gave him his first cigarette.
Betty: I bet you didn't know he was planning to hurt you, and I couldn't let him do that.
Vic: Stop it, angel, you're breaking my heart.
Betty: He wasn't half the man you are, Vic. And after all we've been through, don't you know I'd do anything for you?
Maria: Well, don't stop. Who was at the door?
Edmund: Detective Murphy, Vic's pal on the force. He's there to arrest the dame.
Maria: No. No, that --
Edmund: I told you, the censors won't let her get away with murder.
Maria: But she was doing it to protect him. They're destined to be together, Edmund.
Edmund: You think you can do better?
Maria: Sam and Maddie could do better. No offense.
Edmund: Oh, yeah, none taken. Ok. You be Lillian Hellman to my Dashiell Hammett, and tell me how your story would work out.
Tad: Here. I thought you might be able to use some of this.
Krystal: If that's some version of hospital apple juice, then that's going right out the window, and you're going right behind it.
Tad: No, actually, this is Kentucky straight bourbon whiskey. I'm sorry, but this is, like, the only thing I could find around here to put it in.
Krystal: Is that right?
Tad: Yeah. Seriously. It's for medicinal purposes only, of course.
Krystal: Huh. Is there any other kind?
Krystal: Huh. Daddy would roll over in his grave watching me drink whiskey through a straw.
Tad: Oh, I'm sure he'd forgive you this once.
Krystal: I thought you left.
Tad: I did. Then I came back. I've been known to do that every once in a while. And I'm sorry. I get it. Sometimes we need to cry alone.
Krystal: Crying alone's the only kind of crying I got.
Tad: That's a real pity, because having a friendly shoulder nearby can help.
Man: You need to shut it down at 10:00.
Woman: I was supposed to meet this dude.
Man: After we close.
Woman: You got a date or something?
Man: With the bank. This deposit has to go in tonight. Remember how to set the alarm?
Woman: Yeah, it's embedded in my brain.
Man: Then do it. And shut off the lights before you lock up.
Woman: Nothing like making someone else do your job for you.
Reggie: Hey, Danielle. What's the crisis?
Reggie: Yeah, when you called me on the phone, it kind of sounded like your mom was closing in on you or something.
Danielle: Oh. The only crisis around here is your social life. You need a break.
Reggie: What are you talking about?
Danielle: The hospital. It's depressing.
Reggie: Whoa, whoa, wait a minute. Are you telling me you're not in trouble?
Danielle: No, but you are. You need to chill out, listen to some music, and have a little fun before you go back there tomorrow.
Reggie: You're right. You know, I could use a break.
Danielle: Like I said.
Reggie: So where do you want to go?
Danielle: I was working on that. But I have a better idea. Come. Check this out while I take care of something. Wait here for me.
Danielle: So you closing pretty soon?
Woman: Five minutes.
Danielle: Looks like I'm your last customer.
Woman: So you going to buy something or what?
Danielle: No. I'll come back tomorrow until I get my allowance.
Woman: Whatever. Four minutes to closing. Who's going to notice?
[Alarm keypad beeps]
[Key turns in lock]
Edmund: What's the matter, dollface? Sudden case of writer's block?
Maria: No, just working out the details.
Maria: Ok. Ok, here we go. Ahem.
Betty: Bet you didn't know he was planning to hurt you. I couldn't let him do that, Vic.
Vic: Stop it, angel, you're breaking my heart.
Betty: But Dickie wasn't half the man you are. After all we've been though, you've got to know I'd do anything for you.
Vic: Should have taken care of it yourself.
Man: Hello, Vic.
Murph: You know why I'm here.
Vic: You do what you got to do.
Betty: Vic -- Vic, for old time's sake.
Murph: Let's go, Betty.
Vic: Not so fast.
Edmund: Hold on. You'd have him give it all up for her?
Maria: Give up all what? Without love, Edmund, all he's got are lonely nights and an empty bed.
Edmund: You had him draw on a cop. He's got to be a fugitive now, go on the lam with her. You can't do that to a guy like Vic.
Maria: Would you let me finish? Would you let me finish?
Krystal: Nobody's seen me cry like that since I was 10 years old.
Tad: So what are you saying? Now that I have seen you, you got to kill me?
Krystal: Cut your tongue out.
Tad: Well, it does sound kind of weird. I mean, it's only natural. What could possibly happen to a 10-year-old that would keep her from crying?
Krystal: My mama cried a lot, with good reason. That just scared the hell out of me, you know, and it made me mad. She'd turn into a doormat that said, "Come on in, you know, walk all over me." I knew one of us had to get tough. Might as well be me.
Tad: You know, for a little girl to take on that kind of responsibility, that's kind of frightening, don't you think?
Krystal: It was survival. You know, there's an art to that.
Tad: The way you do it? Without a doubt.
Krystal: I perfected it when Babe was born. I didn't want her to see me be afraid like I was with my mama. So I learned how to keep it in or just let it out on the sly.
Tad: And how's that working for you?
Krystal: Well, till now, like a charm. But now here I am, no way to protect her. And once again, it's me that's scared.
Tad: Sweetheart, you got to have a little faith. That girl is too much like you to let something like this take her down.
Krystal: I'll drink to that. But what do I do with the rest of my tears, you know? The ones for Bianca and that sweet baby of hers, Kendall and Erica? Those women have a long road back.
Reggie: Oh, man, I'm going to have to get that one.
Reggie: That was off the hook. Danielle? What the heck is going on with these lights? Danielle?
Danielle: I can help you find exactly what you're looking for, sir. We've got classical, country, hip-hop, R&B, reggae, a little rock, and -- not in this lifetime -- polkas?
Reggie: Wait, Danielle, what's going on? What happened to the lights?
Danielle: Oh, store's closed. Cool, huh?
Reggie: Oh, man, we got to get out of here. Come on, let's go.
Danielle: I wouldn't do that if I were you. The alarm's on.
Reggie: This can't be happening to me. This can't be happening.
Danielle: Come on, Reginald, lighten up!
Reggie: I'm going to call the security. Yes, they got to have the number around here someplace. I'll just call them and tell them it was a mistake. Yes, a mistake.
Danielle: What is wrong with you? You act like you've never heard of pushing the envelope. Let's just have some fun!
Reggie: Fun? You have no idea what will happen to me if anybody finds out I'm here.
Danielle: Pine Valley will survive without you for a few hours. What's the big deal?
Reggie: The big deal? The big deal is I'll be behind bars for the next century if I get busted.
Aidan: Come here, let me show you. All right, grab your left. Come on this side. You punch, punch, punch. See, you jab, jab, right. Jab, jab, punch. See, you got it?
Anita: Yeah. Yeah, it's a rhythm thing. I got it. I got it.
Ryan: Kendall? You should eat.
Krystal: It could have been Bess in that river. It just breaks my heart wondering how Bianca's going to survive this.
Tad: Krystal, you haven't known Bianca very long. Don't ever underestimate the Kane women. I'm not saying it won't be incredibly painful, but Bianca is strong.
Krystal: I had a friend in Tucson who lost her baby. Saddest thing I ever saw. But at least she got to hold him. She got to hold her baby before it died, kiss him goodbye. She sang to him. Sang him a lullaby. Sang him over to the other side, she said. All Bianca's got is an empty cradle. How the hell is she going to get over that?
Tad: You just do. Actually, you sort of make a deal with the ones that you lost -- Dixie and our baby, Kate.
Krystal: I never --
Tad: No. And I remember the exact day I gave up hope, because that night when I went to sleep, I figured it would be just, you know, better if I didn't wake up the next morning. That's a bad place to be, especially since I knew in my heart it's not what Dixie would want. So I said, "Sweetheart, if I can get through one day, this one 24-hour little period without being crushed into the ground by your memory and the loss of Kate, then the next day, I swear to God, I'll start to live my life all over again."
Krystal: I can't imagine.
Tad: Bianca, Kendall, Erica -- they'll all get there. It may take a hell of a long time, but they'll find their way. It's what I did. It's what Brooke did. It's just -- it's how nature designed us. It's just what people do.
Krystal: If I got crushed into the ground like that, I just don't know how I'd ever get out.
Tad: Oh, well, now you're just underestimating yourself. I made that mistake once, about you and Babe. I didn't give either of you near enough credit.
Aidan: What's wrong?
Anita: I just -- I just -- I need to leave. Damn!
Aidan: Here, let me. Anita, you won't be able to do it alone. Here. You want to tell me what happened?
Anita: You know exactly.
Aidan: For those of us that didn't get the memo?
Anita: You know what, it's -- it's my fault. In a weak moment, I unloaded on you. I told you my husband cheated on me. Shame on me. But it wasn't an open invitation for you to make a move on me.
Aidan: Whoa, whoa, whoa! That's going a bit too far.
Anita: I mean, what did you think, I was going to get revenge on Bobby by jumping in the sack with you?
Aidan: And I thought you needed these to do your damage. I guess I was wrong.
Anita: You know what, I know your history. I'm not a sucker for a boatload of charm and a cute accent. Thanks for the lesson.
Aidan: Oh, you just hold it right there!
Edmund: You've stalled long enough, lady. I want to know how your movie ends up.
Maria: Oh, hang on to your jujubes. You're going to love where I'm going with this.
Vic: Hands up, Murphy.
Murph: You going to let this skirt turn your head?
Vic: Frisk him, sugar. Let me see that.
Murph: Don't be a sap, Vic. We've been pals a long time. You're not going to let a dame come between us.
Vic: Just as I thought.
Betty: What is it?
Vic: Evidence. Hmm. My pal Murphy was playing me like a slide trombone.
Betty: He's getting away, Vic!
Vic: Let him go. There's no place left for him to run. He won't get far. Murph was in it up to his badge number.
Betty: He was your brother's partner?
Vic: Yeah. And dirty, too. They pulled the wool over both of our eyes. What's the world coming to, cupcake?
Betty: Is that all you have to say for yourself?
Vic: I don't do a lot of talking. Tell me how I can make this up to you.
Betty: I'll think of something.
Edmund: Ok, cheating. Major, bigtime cheating. If I'd known the cop was dirty, well, that changes everything.
Maria: Never underestimate me, tough guy.
Edmund: All right, well, you still need to come up with a perfect ending, you know?
Maria: Ok. Well, then your turn.
Edmund: Hmm. Perfect ending, coming up.
Vic: Tell me how I can make this up to you.
Betty: You sure you want to?
Vic: Of course I do. Look at you. You're smart, you're beautiful, and you got a great set of pins.
Betty: And what about Dickie?
Vic: Dickie was a bum. You did the world a favor when you plugged him.
Betty: What about you and me?
Vic: It's always been you and me, sweetheart, and it always will be.
Edmund: Is that the kind of happy ending you had in mind?
Aidan: What I'm trying to be is a friend to you and help you out.
Anita: By making a move on me?
Aidan: Look, I'm sorry that your husband's an absolute jerk, and it's a shame that you're having a bad time, but let me make myself clear -- I did not come on to you. I don't go there anymore. I learned the hard way to stay away from women that love other men.
Ryan: Come on, it's warmer by the fire. You'll like it.
Danielle: I don't get it.
Reggie: I'm on probation till I'm, like, 150. One more strike and I'm history.
Danielle: Oh. What for?
Reggie: Well, my last charge is abuse of a corpse.
Reggie: It's not as bad as it sounds.
Danielle: What else?
Reggie: Don't ask. I just -- I've been clean lately, and I plan on keeping it that way. So I'm going to find the number for their security service, and I'm going to explain to them that we just accidentally got locked in here while we was listening to music.
Danielle: Except for one little thing -- it was no accident. I hid us in here when they were locking up.
Reggie: What possessed you to do that?
Danielle: No impulse control?
Reggie: This sucks so bad.
Danielle: Reggie, look around! This is -- this is a party waiting to happen! We have tons of music! We have all the food we could want! You have your all-time greatest party girl to hang out with, and we have all night to enjoy it!
Reggie: Great -- a memory to keep me going while I'm rotting in jail.
Danielle: When they come open the store in the morning, we'll just hide in one of the booths and then slip out like we were their first customers.
Reggie: Something's telling me you've done this way too many times.
Danielle: Maybe. Come on, Reggie, it's really not all that bad. It's just enough danger to keep things interesting.
Reggie: I'm going to regret this.
Danielle: Aren't you tired of being good? I know I am.
Reggie: Well, it sounds to me like you haven't been good for too long. Don't look at me like that. I'm just saying every time I figure out which way you're trying to go, you get me all turned around.
Danielle: Yeah? Cool, huh? Let's go dance.
[Rock music plays]
Singer: I've forgotten what it feels like to feel normal to be normal and I've forgotten what food tastes like the way it tastes right the taste buds taste right I wake up in so much spit and sweat it is not normal what is normal? Well, I go to bed when I wake up after cleaning all the spit and sweat now I'm, now I'm
Singers: Sh-sh-shakin' sh-shakin' I'm sh-sh-shakin' sh-shakin' I'm sh-sh-shakin' sh-shakin' I'm sh-sh-shakin' sh-shakin' now whoa, oh, oh
Singer: I tossed and turned all night 'cause I 'cause I was looking for for an ending this was so because I watched all day "the never-ending story" with atreyu the next day came but not a beam of light because the blinds were shut sh-sh-shut so tight I fell out of bed laced with spit and sweat it made me very cold it made me very cold now I'm, now I'm
Singers: Sh-sh-shakin' sh-shakin' I'm sh-sh-shakin' sh-shakin' I'm sh-sh-shakin' sh-shakin' I'm sh-sh-shakin' sh-shakin' I'm sh-sh-shakin' sh-shakin' I'm sh-sh-shakin' sh-shakin' I'm sh-sh-shakin' sh-shakin' I'm sh-sh-shakin' sh-shakin'
Singer: Oh, yeah
Reggie: Oh, my God!
Danielle: That's it! That's it! That's what I've been waiting for all night!
Danielle: Your laugh. You have the greatest laugh ever, I swear, and you've made me wait all night to hear it.
Reggie: Danielle, who are you?
Danielle: I'm exactly who you're looking at. We have more dancing to do.
Reggie: Oh �
Anita: I'm sorry. I just -- I flipped out. I'm sorry.
Aidan: All right. Well, as long as you know that I wasn't coming on to you, I'm fine. So you're ok, then?
Anita: Yeah. I'm just a little embarrassed.
Aidan: Well, don't be. Really, I mean, I'm fine. I mean, you're fine, we're fine. We're both fine. Still chums? Mates?
Anita: Yeah. Mates. And thanks for the lesson, although I'm not sure I'll ever get the hang of it.
Aidan: Well, you can always try kickboxing next time. You can really knock a guy's teeth down his throat with that.
Anita: I'll keep it in mind.
Aidan: Oh, wait.
Aidan: No worries. Rain check on that calzone, huh?
Krystal: I'll go check on Babe, see if there's anything she needs. God, I probably look like a hundred miles of bad road.
Tad: Yeah, you're right. Come here a second. There. Now you're beautiful.
>> On the next "All My Children" --
Reggie: Please, whatever you do, just don't hang up the phone. I kind of need your help, really bad.
David: If you leave your daughter in this hospital's care, they're going to kill her.
Paul: There's only one way I can be sure that you won't talk -- if you don't wake up at all.
Ryan: You want me to go?
Kendall: No, I don't want you to go.
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