AMC Transcript Wednesday 2/4/04

All My Children Transcript Wednesday 2/4/04

By Suzanne
Proofread by Gisele

Maggie: What? What? You're ok, right?

Jamie: Right. I was just a little bruised.

Maggie: Oh.

Jamie: Kind of -- ow -- knocked me on my butt there.

Maggie: I know. I'm so, so sorry. You know, it was totally my fault. I wasn't even paying attention to what I was doing.

Jamie: Maggie, Maggie, Maggie, I wasn't talking about the car.

Maggie: Oh, really? Oh. Well, in that case, maybe I could really knock your socks off?

Jack: How soon can you make it over here? Oh, that'd be great. Well, she slept through the whole morning, and now I have to get to court. You're the best. All right, I'll see you in a few minutes, then. Ok, bye-bye. Morning.

Erica: Morning -- barely. I just can't believe that I really slept in like this.

Jack: Yeah. You were out like a light. How do you feel now?

Erica: Oh, I -- I feel fine. I feel just great.

Jack: Good.

Erica: It's a beautiful morning out there.

Jack: Yeah.

Erica: And I just feel like something really positive is going to happen today. Was that call for me?

Jack: Actually, it was Myrtle. She's going to come over and keep you company.

Erica: Well, I love Myrtle, but why in the world would she be coming over here to keep me company?

Jack: Well, actually, honey, I think it would be a good idea if she stayed with you while I went to court today.

Erica: Well, you're not going to court without me, Jackson.

Jack: I don't want to fight about this, ok?

Erica: Well, good. Then I'll just get my things.

Jack: No, no, no, no. Hey, look, look, I just think it's really a bad idea for you to be anywhere near Kendall for right now, ok?

Erica: Jack, what's wrong with you? I mean, I just don't understand it. You can't forbid me from going to court. I mean, I have to know what's going on in the trial. And I don't need Myrtle to come over here and babysit me, for God's sakes. Look, I don't know what this is all about.

Jack: Yeah, well, that's -- that's the problem, dear. You see, something did happen last night and you don't remember what it is.

Fred: Oh, remember the facilitator, Mrs. Cambias. I blessed the union of you and Mr. Cambias, and I see I haven't lost my touch --

Mia: Shh. Shh.

Fred: You're already with child. Congratulations.

Aidan: Fred, come with me.

Fred: What?

Aidan: There are took too many mushrooms. Let's get you out --

Alan: Hold it right there. Frederick Lomax?

Fred: That's my name, but don't tell anyone. I'm on a spiritual quest.

Alan: Bailiff?

Bailiff: Yes, sir.

Alan: Get him inside, now.

Bailiff: Ok.

Fred: Ah, greetings, Commander.

Bailiff: Yes, sir.

Fred: Have you seen the others?

Bailiff: Right this way.

Fred: Where are we going?

Justin: Ladies, thank you so much for delivering the witness right into our laps.

Greenlee: Wait a minute. Wait! Hold on --

Kendall: You are a hateful bitch. I knew you wouldn't stop until you destroyed me.

Greenlee: That's not how it is. Ryan, tell her I didn't do anything.

Simone: I did it. I'm telling you, I'm the one that pulled the trigger.

Tad: Wait a minute, come here. Take it easy for a second. What do you mean? When you say you pulled the trigger, you --

Simone: I fired Carlos' gun -- me.

Tad: Click, boom? Simone, are you telling me that you killed Michael Cambias?

Simone: No! Hell, no, I didn't shoot Michael Cambias!

Pablo: Then what happened?

Simone: I was really, really angry at Michael that night, and Carlos knew it, and he had a gun. I was freaked that he would do something lethal, you know? He already killed one rapist. I'm sorry.

Pablo: No, esta bien.

Simone: So I managed to find Carlos before he got to Michael's condo and I calmed him down and I got him to give me the gun.

Tad: And this is when it got ugly?

Simone: Well, I thought that I ought to empty the bullets. And that's when the gun kind of went off.

Tad: So? What happened after you managed not to shoot yourself, or Carlos, thank God?

Simone: Or Officer Lyman.

Tad: What?

Simone: I missed him. I put a hole in his car door.

Pablo: You shoot a patrol car and no one saw you?

Simone: Yes! Carlos grabbed me and we ran for it and we hid out all night. I mean, Officer Lyman, of all people, after he'd been practically stalking me for months!

Tad: Do you have any idea what he would do if he found out you shot up --

Simone: I know! I know! That's why Carlos promised me that he would never tell a soul, and he never did.

Pablo: So Carlos was with you all night, right?

Simone: Every second. Neither one of us killed Michael. All right? Carlos' gun was fired, but that was totally my fault. He was a gentleman, he was a man of his word, and I miss him. I really miss him.

Pablo: I know. And I'll keep your secret, too.

Simone: Thank you.

Pablo: I have to go. I'll see you soon.

Simone: Ok.

Tad: Take care, J.P.

[Simone sighs]

Simone: Oh, great. Ok, so now you're angry.

Tad: I'm not angry. I just don't get it. What's the big deal? Why couldn't you --

Simone: I was scared. I mean, come on. How many times have I been to jail this last year?

Tad: Relax, ok? You're fine. Hopefully, Officer Lyman is still in the dark, and there's no way that either J.P. or I are about to blow the whistle, so you're ok.

Simone: Thank you. Oh. Have I told you just how incredible you are lately?

Tad: Yeah, well, about that -- I don't think I was as clear as I need to be.

Simone: What's clear is that you are maybe the most incredible man I've ever been privileged to kiss.

[Elevator doors open]

Greenlee: Ryan, I swear, we were trying to get that maniac out of here.

Bianca: By bringing him to the courthouse?

Greenlee: That's not how it happened.

Kendall: Save it. You two have been after me for months.

Aidan: Hang on, hang on. Mia's got nothing to do with this.

Mia: Well, that's not entirely true. When Lomax got out last night, it was my fault. I'm sorry. I didn't do it on purpose.

Aidan: Excuse us.

Greenlee: You hear that, Kendall? It was an accident.

Kendall: This is more of your sabotage. You better go back to hell! Go back to hell --

Livia: Kendall! Kendall!

Kendall: Where you belong!

Livia: Cool it! Now, we have some damage control to do, you and I.

Kendall: You better watch your back, Greenlee. You better watch your back! I am going to finish what you started.

Greenlee: She's so overreacting. I mean, you heard Mia. We were this close to getting that space case out of here.

Opal: Oh, you have sunk so low, girl, you got to look up to see a snake's belly.

Greenlee: This is so incredibly unfair! I haven't done anything wrong.

Bianca: You know what, Greenlee? I never let myself hope that you would actually defend Kendall, but this?

Greenlee: I swear to God we were trying to get that maniac out of here before anyone saw him.

Reggie: You know what, Greenlee? Thank you. Thank you so much for being so helpful. Just remember not to come to my rescue anytime soon, all right?

Greenlee: You know I wasn't trying to hurt her, Ryan. I wouldn't do that after our promise. You believe me, don't you?

Erica: Look, I grant you that I had a terrible day yesterday, and it put me a little out of balance last night, but that's all.

Jack: "A little out of balance"? Erica, you had a blackout!

Erica: Look, I'm under a lot of stress. I don't think anyone can really comprehend how upset I am over Kendall's revelation. I mean, to have to actually hear this actual medical -- medical evidence about the -- the truth of the paternity of her baby and to have to believe that she and Michael Cambias --

Jack: Right.

Erica: Actually --

Jack: I understand what you're saying, which is why I think it's a really terrible idea for you to go to court today.

Erica: Truly, Jackson, truly, one thing has nothing to do with the other. I made promises to both Bianca and Ryan that I would stand by Kendall no matter what.

Jack: I understand that, sweetheart, but nobody will think badly of you if you don't go to court today. In fact, I think it might the best thing for everyone concerned.

Erica: Oh, please don't do this. Please don't treat me like a child, Jack. I know what's best for me.

Jack: Do you really? Because I'm telling you, last night you were out of control.

Erica: Well, that was last night, and now it's morning, and I'm fine. I'm fine, Jack. So I want you to just take any idea you have of Myrtle coming over here and my being locked up in here with her and just throw that idea right out the window right now.

Jack: Stop. Look at me. You don't have any idea what you did last night, do you?

Erica: What I did?

Jack: You went to Kendall's house --

Erica: I told you, I was upset.

Jack: And you tried to kill her!

Jamie: Ok. Ok. Not that this isn't the most fun I've had being run down by a car. It's just what's with you?

Maggie: I just suddenly remembered the time when you gave me driving lessons.

Jamie: And what a fantastic job I did? I don't think so.

Maggie: Ok, maybe it was a complete bust, but you know what? You're still a really good kisser.

Jamie: Um -- and right back at you, Maggie. It's just I thought we didn't have the right kind of chemistry.

Maggie: Well, maybe we just didn't mess around with the formula enough. And that was so long ago, right? What, last semester?

Jamie: At least.

Maggie: Are you still with Babe?

Jamie: No, not at all. Whatever I need from her, I will find out soon enough.

Maggie: Well, that works for me. So, how about we pick up from where we left off and you can start off by buying me a drink?

Erica: Oh, what a terrible thing to say! I would never hurt my own child!

Jack: No, honey, I know you wouldn't, not intentionally, but you -- you weren't -- you weren't yourself last night. Do you understand what I'm saying? Just like before.

Erica: Well, I would know if I had done something so monstrous.

Jack: Really? Because last night you thought Kendall was Michael Cambias.

Erica: Did -- did I hurt anyone? Is Kendall all right?

Jack: Kendall's fine, honey. Thank God Aidan got there to stop you, but what if you lose it again? I mean, what if you lose it in front of this judge and jury? Sweetheart, I love you. I don't want you to take that kind of a chance.

Erica: Well, why, Jack? What do you think that I'll do?

Livia: Your Honor, the prosecution cannot be allowed to call another witness after we've already begun presenting our case. The precedent --

Judge: The Commonwealth has cited three separate case laws that say different, counselor. Additionally, Reverend Lomax has been on their witness list since discovery.

Livia: But, Your Honor --

Judge: I've heard arguments from both sides. I am allowing the prosecution to call this witness.

Livia: I would like my objection to stand on the record.

Judge: So noted. Bring in the jury.

[Gallery murmurs]

Mia: I followed you, ok, because I could smell Kendall's dirty little hand in it!

Aidan: Whoa, whoa, whoa --

Mia: That's why!

Aidan: What did you think I was doing there, having some kind of romantic rendezvous with Kendall? Have you ever given anyone the benefit of the doubt? Oh.

Mia: I just couldn't stand that you were keeping secrets from me.

Aidan: I wasn't, or not in any way that matters to you and me! You found me there with Kendall's arms wrapped round me?

Mia: No. I found crazy Fred, ok, and he threw me for a loop.

Aidan: Ok, well, he would do it, wouldn't he?

Mia: He thought I was an angel or something. I turned around, he was gone. He just escaped.

Aidan: And fell right into the prosecution's arms.

Mia: Look, Greenlee and I were trying to get him out of here before anybody saw him.

Aidan: Well, you two did an amazing job, didn't you? Oh!

Mia: I'm sorry. I feel awful.

Aidan: "Awful"? "Awful"? Do you realize what damage that you have done?

Mia: Look, I'm sure that Kendall's attorney is going to be able to get her out of this.

Aidan: If she does, it will be a bloody miracle, but then what, Mia? What about what you have done to me?

Greenlee: Why won't anyone believe me?

Ryan: Because it's been done to death. Greenlee, because you promised that you were going to end this vendetta against Kendall and then, boom, sucker-punched again!

Greenlee: But that's not how it happened.

Ryan: It's the same song every time, Greenlee. You are so, so selfish and so without compassion and generosity that you can destroy a woman who's barely hanging on to her own life by her fingernails.

Greenlee: I deserve a chance to explain what happened.

Ryan: No, you know what you deserve? You deserve a hand for pulling this off. I think this time you may have succeeded -- drop-kicked Kendall right into prison or worse, but you know what? This time you're going to pay, because when the dust settles from this disaster and you're looking around for a friend, you're going to be standing there all by yourself.

Greenlee: No, Ryan, Ryan, you have it all wrong. I can't lose you.

Liza: Just returning some presentations. Ignore me.

Simone: Ok, will do.

Tad: Liza, looking good as always.

Liza: Oh, well, thank you. You know, when you have a moment, I'd love a minute of your time.

Tad: Uh -- actually, I was on my way to the courthouse.

Simone: Oh.

Liza: Oh, that's fabulous. You know what? I'll walk you to the elevator.

Simone: Ok. Um -- so we will finish our talk later?

Tad: Yeah.

Simone: Oh -- hey, hey, hey. Thank you. And I will take care of these.

Liza: Oh, hey, thank you.

Simone: Ok.

Tad: Thank you.

Liza: You know you look incredibly adorable when you're flushed.

Tad: Stop it. So you're not going to start lecturing me about the perils of Simone?

Liza: I think she's frisky, don't you?

Tad: And you're totally cool with the idea of me continuing to see her?

Liza: You know what? You and I made a promise that we weren't going to talk our relationship to death, so in the spirit of that promise, I just have one word about the other day --

Tad: Huh.

Liza: "Woof, woof."

Tad: That's two words.

Liza: Oh, naughty me. Maybe I need a spanking later. Call me.

Tad: Oh -- yeah.

Liza: Catch. Hmm. Now to deal with little Miss Perky.

Erica: No, explain it to me, Jack. What are you so afraid of? What do you think I'll do?

Jack: Let me put it to you this way. I just think you should give yourself a break from all this chaos, because you're absolutely right. This whole situation is a pressure cooker, and frankly, you don't need it, honey.

Erica: Well, maybe Kendall needs me.

Jack: Kendall is in good hands. I'm not doing this to try to punish you. I hope you realize that. I'm doing this because I think it's the best thing for your own peace of mind.

[Phone rings]

[Knock on door]


Jack: Yeah? You got him. When?

Erica: Myrtle, hi.

Myrtle: Hello, darling. How are you this morning?

Jack: Yeah, right. Yeah, I --

Erica: I'm absolutely fine, Myrtle.

Myrtle: You are?

Jack: I'll be there as soon as I can.

Erica: Yes.

Jack: Yes.

Erica: Thank you.

Jack: Yes, yes.

Erica: Thank you for asking.

Jack: Myrtle, thank you so much for coming.

Myrtle: Well, Jack, you're welcome.

Jack: I'm afraid I've got to run.

Erica: Jack, what's wrong? Who was that?

Jack: Well, nothing I can't handle, sweetheart.

Erica: Oh, Jack, come on, please. If I'm going to do as you ask me to and stay away from the trial, please don't leave me out in the cold.

Jack: All right, fair enough. It seems as though Greenlee has showed up in court with this missing preacher.

Myrtle: The one who married Kendall and Michael?

Jack: The very one.

Erica: Greenlee? My God, that could be devastating for Kendall. Well, can't you stop Greenlee?

Jack: Well, not from here, I can't. And they're about to put him on the stand. I need to go. I need to.

Erica: Jack?

Jack: I'll call you. I'll call you every chance I can. Myrtle, you take care of my girl, you hear?

Myrtle: I will, darling, I will.

Erica: Ok. Myrtle, don't take off your coat.

Myrtle: Why? Do you want to go somewhere?

Erica: Yes. We're going to court.

Greenlee: I'll confess one thing. When we found Lomax here without his leash, I thought what a fabulous opportunity it would be to get Kendall. But I thought about it -- that's it -- and then I remembered last night and the promise I made you, and that was more important.

Ryan: Sentimental fool that you are.

Greenlee: It's the truth! And it's more than you've given me and something Kendall's incapable of!

Ryan: You don't know that.

Greenlee: No, I know that she's got something to hide, and I know that you're all kinds of nervous because that guy could prove that Kendall married Michael and get on the stand and say what, I'm not exactly sure.

Ryan: Bet you can't wait to find out, Greenlee.

Greenlee: Can you blame me? Kendall has this entire town ready to lie down and die for her when she puts her hand on the Bible and lies through her teeth.

Ryan: She is not a murderer.

Greenlee: Oh, forget murder. She's an unmarried, unpregnant, lying, scheming conniver. She's trying to take everything and leave you with nothing, Ryan -- no companies, nothing! Where is the outrage about that?

Ryan: So that's what this is about? This is about Fusion?

Greenlee: No. It's about you.

Ryan: So, wait a minute -- let me make sure that I heard that correctly. You did this for me?

Greenlee: I didn't do anything, except maybe accidentally blow her cover, and that protects you and your companies, then I'm not going to lose any sleep over it.

Ryan: Greenlee, I never asked you for any protection!

Greenlee: Yes, you did, last night when we made our pact. We swore on our friendship that we would be there for each other forever. That meant something to me.

Ryan: You also promised that you wouldn't do any more of these dirty tricks, that you would trust me, Greenlee, that you would do what I said.

Greenlee: I did. I do.

Ryan: Well, that's too bad, because after today, your promises mean nothing to me. It's over -- our pact, our friendship, everything. It's finished for good.

Mia: Look, I said I'm sorry!

Aidan: You know what? It means nothing, Mia! The damage is done! What now? I got to try and fix it.

[Aidan sighs]

Mia: Where are you going?

Aidan: To the pump house to see if I can salvage anything out of that -- out of this mess that you have made.

Mia: Aidan, are we ok?

Aidan: If this is as bad as I think it is, there is no "we." There's Kendall on death row, there's me in jail, and then there's you, looking at yourself in the mirror wondering "how am I going to live with myself?"

[Door opens and slams]

Alan: And you are an ordained minister. Is that correct, Reverend Lomax?

Fred: Yes, sir -- in Las Vegas, Nevada.

Alan: What denomination is your ministry?

Fred: 10s and 20s.

[Gallery laughs]

Alan: Excuse me?

Fred: The church of Tenzan Twenties. Tenzan was our spiritual founder. He was a reformed gambler who found the true path.

Alan: Oh, good for him.

Fred: Oh, yes, yes -- very, very good for him, until the incident with the wood chipper. Ah -- that's when I took over.

Alan: That's fine. And you're licensed to perform marriages?

Fred: Oh, yes. I've performed hundreds of them, joined those eager couples in connubial bliss and then filed the paperwork with the state -- everything very legal. I mean, not like the high church of Elvis down the strip. I mean, come on -- six bars of "Heartbreak Hotel" and then call it holy matrimony? I don't think so!

Alan: Reverend, if I may, I would like to point out the defendant to you, over there.

Fred: Oh! Hi, Mrs. Cambias. It's great to see you.

Judge: No -- no, no, no. Reverend, you're not to address the defendant. Just please answer the questions.

Fred: Oh, I'm sorry, Your Majesty.

[Gallery laughs]

Judge: "Your Honor" will do.

Alan: So you recognize Kendall Cambias?

Fred: Oh, sure. Yes, yes. I married her and Mr. Cambias 29th of August last year. A lovely couple.

Alan: You're certain about the date?

Fred: Oh, yeah -- that was the last day of our summer blowout special.

Alan: Reverend Lomax, I'm going to show you a photograph -- people's 27, Your Honor. Do you recognize this man? Is this the man you married to the defendant? Is this Michael Cambias?

Fred: Nope!

Alan: You're sure?

Fred: No, that's not him. I'm sure.

Alan: Do you know that Mrs. Cambias is on trial for murdering her husband?

Fred: Oh, boy, I'm in trouble.

Alan: What's wrong, Reverend?

Fred: Oh -- oh, well, I -- nothing to fear. It's happened before, but I just saw a ghost.

Judge: Reverend, please.

Fred: Oh, I'm sorry, Your Grace, but I'm afraid the ghost of Michael Cambias has just appeared before me.

Alan: Has it? You don't see Michael Cambias in this room, do you?

Fred: Yes. That's him right there. That's Michael Cambias -- at least that's the man I married to this lady.

Alan: Let the record show the witness has identified Boyd Larraby as the man he married to Kendall Hart. And further, for the record, he has identified Mr. Larraby as Michael Cambias. I have no further questions, Your Honor, except to request that Mr. Larraby be added to our witness list. Subpoena his ass.

Judge: So ordered.

Livia: Objection, Your Honor. The prosecution cannot be allowed to add witnesses ad nauseum.

Judge: Sidebar.

Greenlee: I don't get it. Everyone is acting like I'm the liar.

Ryan: If the shoe fits --

Greenlee: Kendall must have you so wrapped around her finger. Everything she does is designed to hurt you. You're my friend. I care about you.

Ryan: Oh, just save it, Greenlee. Righteous indignation does not look good on you right now, all right?

Jack: Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. Will somebody please tell me that they did not let the prosecution put Lomax on that stand?

Ryan: Wow, bad news really travels fast

Jack: Oh, you've got to be kidding. You've got to be kidding! What the hell's going on in there?

Ryan: I don't know. I've been out with the princess of darkness out here.

Greenlee: You've got to believe me. I didn't bring him here. I was trying to get him out. Kendall's the liar, not me.

David: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What the hell is going on here?

Jack: We're not sure just yet.

Greenlee: I didn't do anything.

Ryan: Except for hand the preacher over to the prosecution.

Jack: Oh --

David: Please tell me she didn't.

Greenlee: That's right, I didn't.

Ryan: Singer's probably banging in the final nails to Kendall's coffin right now.

Greenlee: All right, all right, all right. Who brought this Lomax guy to Pine Valley? Not me. Who let him out of his stupid hiding place? Not me, again. Who's lying about her marriage and her pregnancy and everything else that's not nailed down? That wouldn't be me, either.

David: Greenlee, what the hell were you thinking?

Greenlee: Like I'm falling through the looking -- can't everyone hear what I'm saying?

David: You should have just taken my word on Kendall's pregnancy.

Greenlee: It's a lie. She's not pregnant.

David: Why couldn't you just stay the hell out of it? I'm telling you, Greenlee, you have no idea what you've just done.

Greenlee: Then tell me.

David: I got to get in there, see what's going on.

Greenlee: This is all just an accident, a mistake.

Jack: Yeah, like all the other times. We'll talk later, all right? Right now I have to see how bad it is in there.

Greenlee: If you don't believe anything I said, I don't know why you're still here.

Ryan: Because I just want to make sure that you understand that regardless of what happens to Kendall, how this whole thing turns out, I meant what I said. We're over. I never want to see you, I never want to speak to you ever again.

Greenlee: Ryan, you can't do that to me.

Ryan: Oh, you did it to yourself, Greenlee, all right? Nobody else to blame, so just -- just -- just stay the hell away from me, away from the people I care about. Just stay the hell out of my life.

Myrtle: You have no business in that courtroom.

Erica: Myrtle, you heard what Jack said. They're putting the minister on the stand.

Myrtle: Well, that's great. I mean, he can say that he married the couple and clear up the whole mess.

Erica: Myrtle, don't you think that if he could actually help Kendall's case that they would have called him as a witness for the defense and not the prosecution?

Myrtle: Well, yes. Oh, my. Well, what about that blackout of yours last night?

Erica: I was blindsided, Myrtle.

Myrtle: You were?

Erica: All this time I convinced myself, I really believed that that pregnancy of Kendall's, that was a lie. And then when I found out that the whole thing was the truth, I think this was a self-protective mechanism that kicks in.

Myrtle: You're a survivor, baby. You always have been.

Erica: It's just so unfair, you know, this vicious cycle -- another Kane woman, another attack, another baby.

Myrtle: Darling, children are the innocents here.

Erica: Of course they are. But they grow up, don't they, Myrtle? I mean, my mother and I tried to protect Kendall. Well, my mother decided that she should be sent away so that she would never find out exactly how she came to be.

Myrtle: Sweetheart, sweetheart, you did what you had to do at the time.

Erica: But the truth is, Myrtle, that Kendall is her father's daughter, too, and she just wouldn't stop until she found out the horrible truth. And then look at how that's affected her every thought, her every choice, her every decision. I mean, this baby, this Michael Cambias' baby -- everything --

Myrtle: Darling, darling -- it won't necessarily turn out that way.

Erica: I think the only way to stop this vicious cycle is just to end it, the way Bianca did. She knew that. You know, that's why she terminated her pregnancy.

Myrtle: Oh, darling. That was Bianca's own choice. And this -- this is Kendall's choice. And whatever happens, it's out of our hands.

Erica: No, Myrtle. There's something else. There's something else that I can't quite explain, but there is something else that's really deep inside me. And it's telling me that something is going on in that courtroom, and that's why I've got to go.

Myrtle: Bad idea.

Erica: Myrtle Fargate, my entire life you've been telling me that I should face my fears, not run from the truth. So now are you telling me that you gave me bad advice?

Myrtle: Well, if there's one thing that makes me furious with you, it's when you throw my good advice right at me, even when it's right. But anyway, one thing is certain -- you are not going alone.

Maggie: Ok, well, we're not going to find a drink around here.

Jamie: That's just because it's the middle of the day. Then again, some bars never close.

Maggie: Oh, my God. You have to be kidding me, right?

Jamie: Well, it's like it knew we were coming -- a fully stocked bar, CD, stereo. Oh, my God, is that a flat-screen TV? What else could we ask for?

Maggie: The keys.

Jamie: Keys are so traditional.

Maggie: Ok, so do I just keep a lookout, or do I just wait until the cops come and catch us?

Jamie: It's only illegal if we steal the car. We're just going to temporarily borrow it. Besides, some things, some people are worth the risk. Ladies first.

Maggie: Ok.

Jamie: Whoa. I didn't give us enough of a chance last time. I'd say our chemistry's pretty good right now.

Maggie: Well, maybe you just had a little too much Babe on your mind.

Jamie: Yeah, that's history. So what's your status nowadays? Are you seeing anyone?

Maggie: No, not a soul.

Jamie: Hmm. I thought guys would be lined up for days.

Maggie: Do you see anyone? Because I don't see anyone, and I'm not involved with anyone right now, not at this moment, except for you.

Judge: Defense may cross-examine this witness.

Judge: The court is running out of patience.

Livia: I -- I'm sorry, Your Honor. Thank you. Reverend Lomax, when was the first time you were visited by shape-shifting aliens?

Alan: Objection -- inflammatory, leading. There's no foundation. Need I go on?

Judge: Sustained. The jury will ignore that question.

Livia: Your Honor, I will establish a foundation with the court's permission.

Judge: All right, but be careful, Ms. Frye. You are on a short leash.

Livia: Reverend Lomax, can you identify this notebook?

Fred: Oh, yes. That's my personal journal.

Livia: Are you a writer of fiction?

Fred: No, no, no. No, not at all. This is a moment-by-moment account of my daily activities. Someday, this will be published as my autobiography. It has value beyond comprehension.

Livia: Then I will make sure that you get it back. Your Honor, defense exhibit 13 -- 31.

Alan: Objection. We haven't had a chance to examine this document. It wasn't in discovery.

Judge: Sidebar. Ms. Frye --

Livia: We didn't know it existed. Your Honor, prosecution's witness, their only witness, only became accessible one hour ago. Prior discovery was impossible.

Alan: There's no relevance.

Livia: It goes to the competence of a key prosecution witness.

Judge: Ahem. Mr. Singer, check page 12, there. Do you really want to bring into evidence this witness' claim that a shape-shifting alien was Michael Cambias' best man?

Livia: He says he uses them from time to time, and not everyone can see them -- only a very privileged few. It's a shame, isn't it?

Judge: Ahem. Thank you, Reverend Lomax. You are dismissed from these proceedings. The jury is to disregard any and all testimony from Fred Lomax. And without his testimony, there is no foundation for calling Mr. Larraby to the stand, so the prosecution's earlier motion is denied. Mr. Singer --

Alan: The prosecution rests -- again, Your Honor.

Judge: Excellent. The defense case will resume with prosecution's cross of the defendant.

Greenlee: They can't do this to me. I didn't do anything. God forbid the truth might actually come out. Everyone would find out she's the liar, not me.

Maggie: Well, I'm not attached, and you're not attached, so what's next?

Jamie: We could check out the TV.

Maggie: Hmm. Or we could play cards.

Jamie: You want to play games?

Maggie: No. Strip poker.

Jamie: I have to warn you, my dad taught me when I was in grade school. I'm good.

Maggie: Oh. I'm not.

Jamie: So -- that means that one of us is going to end up naked. Then what do we do?

Liza: So, did we win the lottery?

Simone: I'm sorry?

Liza: You seem especially cheerful.

Simone: Oh. Does it show?

[Simone chuckles]

Liza: Well, I'm a little surprised, all things considered.

Simone: Oh, well, you know, with the trial and no one knowing who's going to end up with Fusion, yeah.

Liza: Oh, you're a sweetie. I mean Tad.

Simone: Oh. Well, he's great.

Liza: Yeah, when he has a spine, he's a bad boy.

Simone: He is?

Liza: Well, yeah. He was supposed to tell you, and I'm so disappointed in him.

Simone: I don't understand.

Liza: Well, I don't really want to be the one to hurt you. I mean, you are my favorite Fusion friend who I'm not related to.

Simone: Ok, I'm waiting.

Liza: Well, Tad promised that he would tell you about us.

Simone: "Us"? What "us"?

Liza: Tad and I are back together again.

Simone: Oh, what do you mean, like together?

Liza: The sheet-warming, toe-curling kind of together.

Simone: Really? Well, you guys haven't, you know --

Liza: Yeah. We have. I'm sorry.

Simone: No, you're not. This is good. This is good, Liza. No, you're lying, obviously.

Liza: Look, I know that you're not taking this too well, so maybe you should hear this from him.

Simone: Yeah, you know what? You're absolutely right, and I will. That's rich.

Erica: Congratulations. You've become the most despised woman in Pine Valley.

Greenlee: Go away, Erica. I might do something I'll regret.

Erica: Oh, darling, you already have. You have messed with a Kane woman.

Greenlee: Since when did you become one of Kendall's fans?

Erica: Oh, Kendall may have her faults, but like her mother and her sister, she's a survivor.

Greenlee: She's a liar.

Erica: She will be standing long and strong way after you turn to dust and blow off in some ill wind that brought you here in the first place.

Greenlee: Never.

Erica: Oh, Greenlee, why don't you just face it? You're nothing but a pariah. Why don't you just take your fangs and swim off into the sunset?

Alan: So even though your sister claimed that Michael Cambias had raped her, you married him anyway?

Kendall: Yes, that's right.

Greenlee: Liar.

Alan: And you still testified that your wedding ceremony and the consummation of your marriage to Michael Cambias both took place in Las Vegas, Nevada?

Kendall: Yes, it did, on August 29.

Greenlee: Liar.

Alan: How long after your alleged wedding did you suspect you might be pregnant?

Kendall: I would say about six or seven weeks.

Greenlee: Liar.

Alan: And you stated for the record that even though having a baby with Michael Cambias could result in your becoming an extremely wealthy woman, that had nothing to do with your decision to marry him.

Kendall: Yes, that it absolutely correct.

Greenlee: Liar! You're a liar, Kendall! And I can prove it.

David: Greenlee, Greenlee, what are you doing?

[Judge pounds gavel]

Kendall: What are you doing? What are you doing? Agh! Oh, my God! Oh, my God.

[Greenlee tears off Kendall's dress]

Greenlee: There! See! She's the liar, not me!

>> On the next "All My Children" --

David: I want you to get up here right away.

Adam: Any reason in particular?

David: Cambias' murderer.

Ryan: Hide anything that can be used as a lethal weapon, Greenlee, because I could kill you!

Livia: The judge has made her ruling.

Kendall: It's not good news, is it?

Erica: We have some things to clear up.

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