AMC Transcript Tuesday 12/30/03

All My Children Transcript Tuesday 12/30/03

By Boo
Proofread by Gisele

Krystal: Hey, how'd it go with J.R.?

Babe: Not bad.

Krystal: Oh, honey, I just hate you having to lie.

Babe: I didnít. I told the truth.

Krystal: You didnít.

Babe: Well, not the truth, just -- just enough.

Krystal: What did you say?

Babe: Well, I said that I was married to Paul Cramer, like I was, and that it was a stupid, drunken mistake, like it was.

Krystal: Well, I guess if he doesn't have to know the rest --

[Doorbell rings]

Babe: And he never, ever will.

J.R.: Are you expecting someone?

Babe: Just you -- hmm -- and just this.

Krystal: It is going to be a great new year. I can just tell.

[Babe and J.R. laugh]

Adam: Ah, good, good, good. You're all down already. You can welcome my guests, all the way from Llanview. This is Dorian Lord and her nephew Paul Cramer.

Dorian: Happy New Year, everybody.

Maggie: Come on, Bianca! Come on, it's time to party!

Bianca: Ahem.

Maggie: Oh, my God. I guess you're ready.

Bianca: Yeah. You can't tell there's a baby onboard, can you?

Maggie: No, no, not at all. Where are you going?

Bianca: To the party at the Valley Inn.

Maggie: What are you talking about? I thought you said it was for senior citizens.

Bianca: Does that sound remotely like anything I would say?

Maggie: Ok, I said it, and you laughed.

Bianca: Well, now I want to go.

[Doorbell rings]

Bianca: Oh, I'll get it.

Maggie: Who could that be?

Bianca: My date. Whoa.

[Radio plays as Kendall cleans out her refrigerator]

Kendall: All right. This is going to be loads of fun.

Singer: Feel right I have one foot on the dance floor

Kendall: Ok, I don't need this. Hmm. All right. Oh. Ew. Ew.

Singer: I don't want to be left alone tonight

Kendall: Ew, ew! Oh, oh -- oh, this is so wrong. Ew. Ugh. Oh.

Singer: I want to be special

Kendall: Oh, God.

Radio Announcer: Happy New Year to all you lovers out there. Here's hoping your 2004 is filled with fun and romance.

[Music plays]

Kendall: Oh, shut up! Ha-ha-ha! Oh. What the -- oh, God. Great. Well -- Happy Stinking New Year to me! Whoo!

Ryan: Edmund.

Edmund: Hey, Ryan.

Ryan: Whoa -- I'm sorry.

Edmund: What is it?

Ryan: Look, Greenlee got away, all right? I tried to stop her, but she just took off --

Edmund: Whoa, whoa, hold on. What -- what happened?

Ryan: She got a note from Pablo. God knows if it was real. And she just took off with, like, a bull's-eye on her forehead. Why couldn't she just stay kidnapped?

Greenlee: Hello?

[Spanish music plays]

Juan Pablo: I was afraid you wouldn't believe my note.

Greenlee: I almost didn't come.

Juan Pablo: But you are here. And, you see, you are safe.

Greenlee: Well, I may be safe, but you're not.

[Mia screams as a man grabs her from behind while she lurks in the bushes]

Babe: Welcome, Ms. Lord, and Mr. -- Cramer was it?

Paul: Paul. Pleased to meet you, J.R.

J.R.: Likewise.

Paul: Babe.

Adam: Dorian and I are old and very good friends, and hoping that all of us can get together more often once we get to know each other. As a matter of fact, haven't the two --

Krystal: Yeah, I am so sorry. I just -- I just have to ask you this. Are you the Dorian Lord? Dorian Lord from Llanview?

Dorian: Yes, I am.

Krystal: Ah! Oh, my gosh almighty! Oh, I'm Krystal Carey. I'm Babeís mama. Oh, I have been following your life ever since it turned out you didn't really kill your husband after all. And that murderer -- that was -- oh, that was what's-her-name. What was her name? One of her multiple personalities -- Viki! Viki, his daughter. How is she these days? She's --

Dorian: Viki is doing as well as can possibly be expected.

Krystal: Oh, good, good. Well, I apologize. I'm just sort of a -- one of those tabloid queens, you know. Between you and Erica Kane, and that Nick and Jessica, boy, I could just live at the checkout line.

Adam: Now you see what I've been telling you.

Dorian: Ah, yes.

Adam: I mean, you know, how special it is to have extended family here over the holidays.

Krystal: Oh.

Adam: Sit, sit, sit. Please, sit.

Dorian: Thank you, thank you. Ms. Carey --

Krystal: Oh, Krystal.

Dorian: Krystal. Adam tells me you're here for a visit. Where do you hail from?

Krystal: Oh, all over. Thank God for P.O. boxes. I guess it's just the gypsy in my soul.

Adam: Krystal may be a gypsy, but Babe hails from San Diego.

Dorian: Oh, that's where my nephew Paul was stationed.

Adam: Yes, yes. You were there earlier this year. In fact, I think you were there at exactly the same time that Babe and J.R. met.

Paul: Actually, um, I left San Diego in August, so --

Adam: Oh, you probably missed each other, then.

Paul: Yeah.

Adam: Small world, isn't it? In fact, Babe, you were there in August, hmm? Didn't you tell me -- I think I remember you telling me you had met a young man named Paul there. Wouldn't it be a small world if it were this Paul?

Babe: Well, I've never met this Paul in my life, so --

J.R.: Are you sure, honey? Take a good look at him. Paul, from the Navy? You remember.

Dorian: Should old acquaintance be forgot?

Juan Pablo: We will both be safe here. We have the lodge to ourselves. We are guarded by men I trust from my ranch.

Greenlee: I want a special night with you, Pablo, I just -- I don't want it to be our last.

Juan Pablo: I know you are afraid for me. But you don't need to be.

Greenlee: Are you giving up your manhunt for the Calatravas?

Juan Pablo: You know I canít. But tonight, you have nothing to fear.

Greenlee: Ryan and Jack don't think so. Ryan kidnapped me to keep me away from you. He cares about me, Pablo. He thinks that I'm just asking for trouble, and -- which I do a lot, and I don't want to do it again. Ryan and Jack are telling me one thing. Who am I supposed to believe?

Juan Pablo: Believe the man who loves you.

Edmund: So you kidnapped Greenlee to protect her?

Ryan: Yes. Thanks to Kendall, she got away, and I'm sure that she's going off to try and meet Pablo.

Edmund: She already has. Yeah, they're together right now.

Ryan: What -- so that note that she got from Pablo, that was real?

Edmund: He's been planning on spending the evening with her.

Ryan: Oh. Well, that's great. Now the killers can get two for the price of one.

Edmund: Just let them be, Ryan.

Ryan: You can't possibly seriously think that they're completely out of danger.

Edmund: No, no, there's no place in the world they'll be completely out of danger, so they might as well be together, at least for tonight. Ryan, there's nothing lonelier than ringing in the new year without the person you love. I don't have to tell you that.

Ryan: Yeah, and you know that, too, and I'm getting in the way.

Edmund: No, you're not. Because you won't be here much longer.

Maria: Hi, handsome.

Ryan: Wow. Wow! Time for me to make my exit.

Maria: Well, Ryan, you've got to find someone to go celebrate with.

Ryan: Well, easier said than done.

Maria: Well, you got to do it, because this is one of those very special nights and you can't miss a single one of them.

[Mia screams]

Aidan: Put your hands where I can see them!

Mia: My hands -- I swear -- I --

Aidan: Mia?

Mia: Aidan!

Aidan: What are you doing here?

Mia: Oh. What the hell are you doing pointing a gun at me?

Aidan: I wasn't exactly expecting it to be you. What is going on?

Mia: I'm here because I --

Aidan: Hmm?

Mia: I, um -- I -- ok. I followed you.

Aidan: Why?

Mia: Shoot me if you want, ok? I probably deserve it. But I didn't want to see Kendall kicking you in the teeth one more time.

[Doorbell rings]

Ryan: No, you're not too late for the garbage truck. You know, go ahead, jump in.

Kendall: Go away. I have things to do.

Ryan: Whoa. Like what, Cinderella?

Kendall: Like slamming the door in your smirking face. Fine.

[Kendallís trash bag breaks and spills its contents all over her floor]

Ryan: Are you sure you don't need me? So this is how you want to bring in the new year.

Kendall: I don't owe you any explanations.

Ryan: I wonder how a mother-to-be would look in -- in this.

Kendall: I'm not going to dress up for you, Ryan, or for your silly fantasies.

Ryan: Well, don't do it for me. Do it for mankind, because you kind of look like hell.

Kendall: Well, if I was suddenly tied up, would I become more attractive to you?

Ryan: Ok, so this is about Greenlee. Kendall, come on. I only tied her up for her own good, to keep her away from the assassins that are after Juan Pablo.

Kendall: Oh, and that's really why?

Ryan: I just got mad at you because I thought you let her loose, you know, so she could run off and get into trouble.

Kendall: Greenlee doesn't need me to get into trouble.

Ryan: Kendall, those Argentinean killers are out there, and you don't really want them to finish her off, do you?

Kendall: Give me a minute. Now, as much as I would love to stab her in the back, I don't want anyone else to do it.

Ryan: You're all heart. Pardon the pun.

Kendall: Well, did you find her? I mean, is she ok?

Ryan: Well, as far as I know, she's safe, and she's well guarded.

Mia: It is New Year's Eve, and you ditched me for another woman, one who keeps hurting you, by the way. So when I saw you pick up Kendall and put her in your car --

Aidan: No, no, no, listen, listen. Yes, I did pick up a woman, and yes, I did bring her to the ski lodge, but it wasn't Kendall.

Mia: Then who?

Aidan: It was Greenlee. She needed a safe transport up here to be with Pablo.

Mia: Oh. I blew it again. Well, now you can shoot me. Go ahead.

Aidan: I'd rather do this.

[Spanish music plays]

Greenlee: There's a lot I don't know about you.

Juan Pablo: I plan to tell you everything. We have time. And I promise you --

Greenlee: No, you canít. You can't promise that we're going to have a future together.

Juan Pablo: That's right. All we have is right now. I promise to do all I can to make you happy.

Greenlee: But if I care about you any more than I do now --

Juan Pablo: You may ask all your questions. Please, Greenlee, don't go. Stay with me tonight.

Lena: Oh, wow. You look stunning.

Bianca: You look incredible. Hey, where are you going?

Maggie: Going out.

Bianca: Maggie, you don't have to do that.

Maggie: Well, you guys obviously want some privacy.

Bianca: No, we don't, so you can quit the third-wheel routine.

Lena: What's that?

Bianca: Every time you and I are together, Maggie decides that she's got someplace else to be, because she doesn't want to cramp our style.

Lena: Maggie, you're too sensitive.

Maggie: Whatever. I'm just trying to give you guys some space, that's all.

Lena: It's all right. Bianca told me you'd be coming, and I'm looking forward to it.

Maggie: Right, but she didn't tell me about it, so I didn't know.

Bianca: Only because I knew you didn't have any plans tonight.

Maggie: Well, I have a date, actually.

Bianca: Really? You have a date tonight?

Maggie: Yeah. Please don't keel over or anything.

Bianca: No, it's just you didn't mention anything. Who's your date? Somebody I know?

Maggie: No. Not really.

Bianca: A total stranger?

Maggie: No, no. I'm in class with him. You know, he goes to PVU.

Bianca: Maggie, why are you doing this? Come on, I really want you to come tonight.

[Knock on door]

Lena: That must be Maggieís date.

Maggie: No. It's too early. He wasn't supposed to be here until --

Bianca: You and Maggie?

Maggie: Yeah. Me and Jamie. Hi, sexy.

J.R.: They're too smart for you, Babe. There's no way you can keep a secret from them like this one.

Babe: No, I guess I canít.

J.R.: Would you like me to help you out?

Krystal: I think you've done enough, J.R.

Babe: No, baby. Go ahead. Tell him.

J.R.: Well, two words -- toga party. I guess there's two more words -- shots and chasers.

Babe: Oh, gosh. I am so embarrassed. I kind of vaguely remember you from the toga party.

J.R.: Babe said it was thrown by some guys from the Navy base.

Babe: Remember, I was the one in the pink flannel toga?

Paul: Of course. I -- I'm sorry. Yes --

Babe: Well, you remember so much better than I do, baby.

J.R.: So, I guess my dad is right, as always. You are the Paul from San Diego.

Paul: I guess I am. I mean -- you know, not one of the Navy's finer moments. You can see why I want to forget it. You know, the beer bong from hell, right?

Krystal: Well, say no more. After three shots, I can't even remember the alphabet.

J.R.: So, mystery solved.

Adam: Well, all this talk about demon rum, and I'm about to propose a toast to the new year with my best champagne.

Krystal: Great idea. I think we all ought to drink to sobriety. Why don't you get one of those nice bottles of wine out of the cellar? We'll just wait right here.

Adam: It's right here, already chilling.

Krystal: Well, you think of everything.

Adam: I hope so. I even thought of the sparkling cider for my daughter-in-law, Babe, who cannot drink alcohol because she is with child.

Dorian: Is she really? Well, that is news. What a wonderful surprise.

Paul: Sure is. Congratulations, you two.

J.R.: Thank you.

Adam: You'd never know to look at her, but she's definitely pregnant.

Dorian: Adam, I know you're going to spoil this baby from the moment it's born. Nothing is ever too good for the next member of the Chandler generation.

Adam: Yes. Babe prefers to call it the Chandler dynasty.

Babe: I need to talk to Paul alone.

Krystal: Yes, you sure do. Oh, I'll take care of this. Uh, Dorian -- have you ever seen Adamís wine cellar?

Dorian: No, actually. I hear it's his pride and joy, aside from his children.

Krystal: Oh, yeah. It's just great. But, you know, the only problem is it's just so dark and chilly. I tell you what. You know what I did, though? I went down there, I opened up all those doors, and I just put all those prize wine bottles out in the hallway.

Adam: You did what?

Krystal: Yeah! Over there by the window so they can get some sunshine.

Adam: When? When did you do this?

Krystal: Today. This morning.

Adam: You didn't -- you did. You did, didn't you? They're probably ruined, all of them!

Krystal: Oh, I'm so sorry. Honey, don't worry, though. I only moved the old bottles.

Adam: Oh, my God!

Krystal: Oh, my gosh. Oh, Dorian, honey, you've just got to help me calm him down. Come on. Can I ask you a few questions? And please tell me if this is none of my business, but is it true that your mother was in an attic for 30 years?

Dorian: It's none of your business.

J.R.: So, you're my wife's first husband. Turns out you're as good at keeping secrets as she is.

Aidan: I caught the person tailing us.

Greenlee: What are you doing here?

Mia: Oh, listen, I am so sorry. I was just --

Aidan: She had to deliver a message to me, something very important.

Greenlee: Like what?

Aidan: Well, that's between Mia and me. She managed to get through your security, Pablo.

Juan Pablo: How did this happen?

Guard: We spotted her right away. We were going to move on her, but then we saw Mr. Devane kissing her here. So we figured she wasn't dangerous.

Greenlee: Not dangerous to us maybe.

Juan Pablo: It's ok. Thank you.

Aidan: I still think it's a problem. She managed to get close enough to do a lot of harm if she had wanted to. My opinion, you need to bring in some more men.

Juan Pablo: Yes. Will you excuse us for a few minutes?

Greenlee: No, I want to stay.

Juan Pablo: I have a surprise for you up in the bedroom. I think you'll like it.

Greenlee: Well, Pablo, why don't you let Aidan handle this?

Juan Pablo: Go look upstairs, relax, and then we'll have our supper.

Greenlee: Happy New Year.

Mia: You, too, Greenlee.

Juan Pablo: I'm expecting more men from back home. They were delayed by bad weather.

Aidan: I would feel a lot better if you get some backup by tonight. Maybe even Edmund.

Juan Pablo: No. I've imposed on him too much already.

Aidan: I really think that he would want you to call him. You're going to have to use the house phone because none of our cell phones are working.

Juan Pablo: All right. Of course you are welcome to stay the night. I've reserved the entire lodge.

Mia: Oh, thank you so much for not giving me up, but I won't stay. I can drive home tonight.

Aidan: Look at that -- it's already started snowing.

Mia: What? So? So, what's a little snow?

Aidan: Well, hopefully, it's enough to keep you here, because I want you to stay.

Edmund: You know, Tad understood why we canceled the Crystal Ball this year. He said Dixie wouldn't have it any other way.

Maria: Well, maybe next year, when there isn't so much danger, we can have it again. And we'll have it in Dixieís honor, then.

Edmund: Sure.

Singer: I'm waiting for New Year's

Edmund: Oh, I like this better.

Maria: Me, too.

[Phone rings]

Edmund: Oh.

Maria: Oh. Ok, I better get it. It might be the hospital. Hmm!

Singer: To share my dream for two but I never once thought

Maria: Hello? Hey, Pablo. Yes, he is. He's right here. Hold on one second.

Edmund: Pablo. What's going on? You need more security? What happened? All right. I'll see what my guys have available. All right. Talk to you later. Honey, I have to handle this.

Maria: All right. I understand. You will have more nights like this.

Edmund: Oh, no, no, no. We're going to have this one. I promise you, I will be back. New Year's Eve is coming early this year.

Maria: Ok.

Edmund: I love you.

Maria: I love you.

Singer: For me and you

Ryan: Come on, Kendall, get your act together -- so we can go out and we can celebrate. Unless you want to stick around here and make a bigger mess.

Kendall: You know, that's very presumptuous of you to show up here at the last minute. How do you know I don't have a date already?

Ryan: Ahem. Well, I mean, if you did, wouldn't you cancel it for me? Maybe this guy will take a rain check. Come on, Kendall. I'll forgive you for, you know, being jealous of Greenlee for no good reason, and you can forgive me for getting mad at you.

Kendall: No, you can keep your forgiveness. I'm not apologizing to you. I haven't done anything wrong.

Ryan: Well, you will if you pass up on this opportunity tonight. I can show you a good time. You know that. Come on, just throw some stuff in a bag, and we'll go someplace where you don't have to wear little Beelzebub. Come on. Let's end this year on a bang.

Dorian: So you see, your wine bottles are just fine.

Adam: No, I knew that all along. If I didn't know Krystal was harmless, I wouldn't have locked her in my wine cellar, now, would I?

Dorian: You know, even though it's been just a lovely evening thus far, I do have to run and meet a jeweler. I'm picking up a little bauble. Would you mind enlightening me -- why was I invited here?

Adam: Um -- shh. Come. I'm guessing that you wouldn't be averse to knowing that your nephew Paul has been keeping a few secrets.

Dorian: It's no surprise that a Navy man gets involved in a drunken party with local girls. Well, you think there's another connection between Paul and Babe?

Adam: If there is, I'm going to find it. I'm going to explore everything there is to know about my daughter-in-law, Babe, including the rank, name, and serial number of all of her companions.

Dorian: Oh, Adam, you're even more attractive when you're conspiratorial.

Adam: It's much more fun to conspire with a partner.

Babe: Well, we'll be ok if we can just get through the night. Adam doesn't know about my marriage to Paul or the annulment.

J.R.: Well, what's there to worry about? It wasn't much of a marriage, from what I hear.

Paul: We were so trashed, we didn't know what we were doing. The hangover lasted longer than the marriage, and we filed for annulment the very next morning.

Babe: You believe me now, baby?

J.R.: I never doubted you.

Paul: Look, it was a mistake for me to come here, but I couldn't say no to Dorian. But I should have listened to you, Babe, because Adam is definitely looking for trouble.

J.R.: Wait. You warned Paul about my dad? So you guys were, like, what -- in touch?

Ryan: Hey, in there, if you don't get moving, we're going to be stuck here at -- midnight. I take it back. It was worth the wait.

Kendall: So, you said you wanted to show me a good time?

Ryan: Yeah. You can grade me later.

Kendall: So, where are we going? I take it we're not going to go to the Valley Inn, obviously.

Ryan: No. No. Something a little more romantic, a little more adventurous, with a little international flavor.

Kendall: Hmm. You going to give me any clues?

Ryan: What if I just said trust me? Hey.

Kendall: Hey.

Ryan: Come on. Let's go dance on some cliffs.

Kendall: Yes. Let's go.

Mia: Well, I only have my stalker clothes. I hope that'll do to bring in the new year.

Aidan: We'll manage. I mean, how much do you want to bet that Juan Pablo [as Juan Pablo] bought out the entire lodge boutique?

Mia: How much time do we have? Wait a minute. That can't be right.

Aidan: [Normal voice] No. Don't worry about it. It's on Greenwich time.

Mia: Oh, English time. What, is that like a little reminder you want to go back home?

Aidan: That's where I was headed before Kendall was arrested.

Mia: Yeah, but what about when the trial's over? When Kendall gets off, what happens then?

Aidan: I haven't really thought about that. I suppose I'm finding new reasons to stay every day.

Mia: You have no idea how happy it makes me. You know what I feel like right now?

Aidan: What?

Mia: A walk in the snow, in the moonlight.

Aidan: Come, let's do it. We can keep each other warm.

Mia: Really? Really?

Aidan: Yeah.

Bianca: I thought you said I didn't know your date.

Maggie: Did I? Ok, I -- I lied. You know, Jamie and I just started seeing each other. And we really don't know where it's going. I just --

Jamie: Of course it's going somewhere. I taught her to drive a stick, and she taught me --

Maggie: Ahem.

Jamie: Well, I won't go into that.

Lena: Well, I think you look great together.

Jamie: Thanks, so do I.

Bianca: Ok, fine. You're -- you're dating Jamie. So you both can come with us to the Valley Inn.

Maggie: Um -- you know, well, we sort of had something more informal in mind.

Jamie: Yeah, like another driving lesson, maybe.

Maggie: Yeah. He's kidding. Why don't you guys go? We'll meet up with you later. How about that?

Jamie: Yeah, maybe later. Or -- maybe not.

Bianca: Ok. So long.

Lena: Happy New Year.

Maggie: Happy New Year!

Jamie: Don't do anything we wouldn't do.

Bianca: Oh. Cute.

Maggie: Ok, you can take your hand off now.

Jamie: What was that all about?

Maggie: It doesn't matter. The point is that the two of them do not need a chaperone, but thank you for not blowing my cover.

Jamie: Yeah, no problem. It actually cheered me up for about two minutes.

Maggie: Oh. What, more girl trouble?

Babe: Well, you know that -- that cow mobile that I bought for the baby? The one with the heifer and the bull and the boy calf and the girl calf? Well, see, I saw it online, and then I found out that this boutique down by Center Street had it. And I was, like, "Hey, I got to go get it." And then afterwards, I was just resting my feet, and I ran into Paul.

Paul: Babe told me that she was happily married, but that her father-in-law wasn't -- happy that she was married, I mean.

J.R.: I see. I see. It all makes sense.

Paul: I'm glad Babe told you about us, because actually, it's no big deal.

J.R.: Well, then, we totally agree. If Babe and I never see your face again, it'll be too soon.

Babe: Oh, I totally forgot to take my vitamin pill. See, I take these megadoses for the -- baby, would you mind going upstairs and getting them for me? And giving me and Paul a minute?

J.R.: Of course not. I trust you.

Paul: What the hell were you thinking? Telling him about our marriage? That was supposed to stay between us.

Adam: My goal for the evening was to let J.R. see one of the many men in Babeís sordid past. I want him to insist on a paternity test.

Dorian: You think Paul is the father?

Adam: I have no reason to believe that yet, but if I get a glimmer that he's involved, you'll be the first to know. At the moment, the primary candidate is J.R.ís brother. But I'll take whoever I can get, as long as it's not my son. So just how badly do you want to get dirt on your nephew?

Dorian: I bear him no malice, but he's about to inherit an awful lot of money. You know the saying -- knowledge is power.

Adam: So I think it's time for us to put our brains together.

Dorian: That sounds promising. Who knows where it will lead.

Babe: Would you chill out? I've got things covered. Saving my marriage with J.R. is my most important thing in my life right now.

Paul: Good. Then stay out of my life, and keep your relatives out of it, too.

Babe: Oh. Adam doesn't know it, but him bringing you here actually kind of helped me out.

Paul: How can you possibly say that?

Babe: Well, you see, there's something that I need your help with, Paul. And it's kind of a big deal, but it'd really help me out.

Paul: Babe, there's nothing I can or want to do for you except forget you.

Babe: Fine by me, sailor boy. But first, there's this little paternity test I want you to fix.

[Music plays]

Maria: Were you able to help Pablo?

Edmund: Yes. And I don't want to hear that name until next year.

Maria: Oh, me, neither.

Edmund: Come here.

Maria: Hmm. This is perfect.

Edmund: You know, I don't know what next year's going to hold for us, but as long as you're in my arms, it's going to be our best year ever.

Singers: Your love is all I need loving better on the other side

Singer: This is love and I mean it there's no way I'm gonna compromise no, no, no

Juan Pablo: I was hoping you'd wear that one.

Greenlee: I love all the gowns you got for me. You did get them for me, right? They're mine to keep?

Juan Pablo: Yes. Yes, they're all yours. Why did you choose that one?

Greenlee: Well, I -- I had this dream once. You were on a white horse, and -- and you took me to this beautiful place, and we danced, and I was wearing a dress just like this one.

Juan Pablo: Uh-huh.

Greenlee: I think I'm living my dream.

Juan Pablo: What else happened in it?

Greenlee: You kissed me.

Juan Pablo: I want to make all your dreams come true.

Jamie: All right, this is the lamest year yet. I so cannot wait till the next one.

Maggie: Ugh. Same here.

Jamie: You know, I feel like going somewhere really loud and intense to watch the countdown.

Maggie: Loud and intense? In Pine Valley?

Jamie: You know, we could just make it to Times Square.

Maggie: We could?

Jamie: If we go, like, 90 the whole way.

Maggie: Hmm. You and I have a lot more in common than I thought, but you know what? Let's not tempt fate.

Jamie: So what, then? The illegal firecracker stand on Route 23?

Maggie: No. You know what? Maybe we should go check out the party at the Valley Inn.

Jamie: You already turned that down.

Maggie: Well, as Lena and Biancaís, you know, single friend. But you could be my fake date. Ok, at least, you know, just try to have a good time with me even though your heart is somewhere else.

Jamie: I will if you will. Because it's pretty clear that your heart isn't in this room, either.

Dorian: So we're agreed?

Adam: Yes. You know what you have to do.

Dorian: And you'll reciprocate. I have your word?

Adam: Oh, you have more than my word, Dorian. You have my undying devotion.

Dorian: Oh, Adam. You know, when you called and invited me for drinks tonight, it did cross my mind that perhaps you had begun to look for the next Mrs. Chandler.

Adam: Yes, I would call that playing with fire.

Dorian: Yes. It might be too much of a good thing.

Adam: Yes. No doubt, one of us would end up dead.

Dorian: But you'd die with a smile on your face.

Adam: There it is.

Paul: What the hell does this have to do with me?

Babe: I'm not getting into this with you. Just listen, ok? I know that you do chopper runs between Llanview and Pine Valley.

Paul: So? I'm not doing a paternity test.

Babe: Paul, you have access to the computers at the Pine Valley Hospital. All you got to do is get in there and make sure it says that J.R.ís the daddy.

Paul: No way! I'm not risking my career and everything else just to get you out of this mess.

Babe: You're saying no just like that?

Paul: Just like that. I'm done with you, Babe.

Babe: Ugh. I need your help.

Paul: Too bad. I don't care what happens between you and your husband.

Babe: You'd better care about my husband, because you're it, honey. We're still married.

Paul: Our marriage was annulled.

Babe: Um -- no, I didn't file the papers.

Paul: But, what -- we agreed. Why didn't you?

Babe: Hmm, I don't -- I don't even know anymore. But remember? We were both so wasted. But they say everything happens for a reason, so --

Paul: You went ahead and married someone else, knowing that we were still -- knowing that you didn't file the papers?

Babe: That's right. I know, it's dumb, dumb, dumb, but now that I'm with J.R., nobody needs to know. I mean, what I'm saying is as long as I stay with J.R., I want to keep this a secret as much as you do.

Paul: You know what? This is going to stay a secret. Do you hear me? This cannot get out. We've got to fix this. And even after that, it can never come out.

Babe: I know that. But if you don't help me, it might. And I get this weird sense for some reason that you can't be married to me right now.

Paul: Let's just say we both have our reasons.

Babe: Look, if I lose J.R. because some dumb paternity test comes out wrong, then I won't even care who knows. That I might even go ahead and tell the whole world.

Paul: Don't try to threaten me.

Babe: I'm not. I just want you to be nice to me like a good little husband should.

J.R.: All right, I'm back. Sorry I look so long. I had an important business call I had to take.

Babe: My husband is a very important man with a very bright future in front of him. If we're lucky, which we are --

J.R.: Here you are.

Babe: Thank you, baby.

Krystal: Where is he? Where is that crypt keeper?

Babe: Who?

J.R.: That what?

Krystal: Your father, Adam. And me suffering from terminal claustrophobia. Would you look at my hair?

Adam: [With a baby voice] Oh, what's the matter, Krystal? Did you have to dig yourself out of the wine cellar?

Krystal: No. But I was practically dead until I heard Winnie out in the hallway, so I got her attention by breaking a few wine bottles. You know, the ones that say "Property of King George VI."

Adam: [Normal voice] You didnít.

Krystal: No, I didnít. And you know why I didn't?

Adam: No.

Krystal: Because I can take a joke, like I hope you can.

Paul: Where's Dorian?

Adam: She went back to Llanview.

Paul: She what?

Adam: Yeah, she said something about a necklace. Said you could be late.

Paul: I drove us here.

Adam: Well, no, she took your car. Don't worry. We promised her we'd get you back safely. There's no reason for you to run off, is there?

Paul: Well, I plan on going to my cousin's press conference.

Adam: Oh, forget that. You'll have a much better time right here in Pine Valley. Won't he, ladies? We can get to know you better. Relax. Think of yourself as part of the family.

[Music plays]

Aidan: Security's been breached. We saw a car.

Juan Pablo: Come on, let's go.

Guard: We have them! We've got the intruders.

Kendall: This is the most ridiculous thing in the world.

Ryan: All right, all right, all right!

On the next "All My Children" --

Tad: What do you say we see where 2004 takes us?

Babe: Maybe it's time to talk things out.

Jamie: Just the two of us?

Babe: Maybe tonight's the night.

Greenlee: Five minutes to midnight.

[Gunshot]

Ryan: Get down! Just get down!

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