All My Children Transcript Thursday 12/18/03
Proofread by Gisele
Tad: Get you set up with the special of the house in no time flat.
Krystal: And don't you forget that side info on Babe's in-laws like you promised.
Tad: Can't play the game if you don't know who the players are, so why don't we get you a scorecard?
Krystal: Well, you are just all kinds of sweet. I tell you what, why don't we just start with the top of the batting order. That'd be you, slugger.
Lena: Hey. Good morning.
Bianca: Hi. Oh.
Babe: Morning, sunshine.
Bianca: Babe, you came back. Oh, you didn't stay here all night, did you? J.R. must be worried.
Babe: Let him. Serves His Royal Highness right.
J.R.: Winifred, did my wife spend the night in one of the guest rooms?
Winifred: Uh -- I'm afraid I haven't seen Miss Babe.
Adam: I'm sorry, J.R. I admit I wasn't sorry to see Babe leave, but it must be difficult choosing your brother over your wife.
J.R.: Oh, save it, Dad. I'm not going to buy it.
Jack: Hey, sweetheart. Erica?
Erica: Oh. You're home.
Jack: Ooh, I sure am.
Erica: Hey. Why did you stay away so long? You devote every waking moment to Kendall, and the rest of your family has gone straight to hell.
Kendall: Hmm. For the record, I'm awake, right? This isn't a dream?
Ryan: Do I guest star in your dreams often?
Kendall: Well, once you turned into a rhino. But you were friendly, sort of.
Kendall: Yeah. But most of the time, it's just the two of us alone, and we're standing on a cliff that's so steep you can't even see over the edge. And then prom band appears, and we slow dance under the mirrored ball right by the edge.
Ryan: Wow, on the edge of a cliff with music and you in my arms. Hmm.
Ryan: Tell me something -- do I ever do this?
Bianca: I hate to ask, but I would love some orange juice.
Lena: Oh, of course. But it might take a minute.
Bianca: All right, I hope you don't mind if I ask, but what's going on between you and J.R.?
Babe: Why is it fine by me if he worries himself silly?
Bianca: You can just tell me to butt out.
Babe: Really, Bianca, it's nothing for you to bother yourself about. J.R. just hasn't gotten used to the wedding thing.
Bianca: Well, you've got baby on the way. You better work this thing out.
Babe: Ok. Here's my IOU. You've known J.R. A lot longer than I have. So what do I do when we've gone off the tracks?
Bianca: Well, you remember that he loves you and that he's new to all this, too, and you cut him a little extra slack.
Babe: But why does he get special treatment?
Bianca: Because you love him. I mean it. I'm serious. You know what? J.R. may have had money growing up, but that doesn't mean his life was perfect. I mean, I can totally relate to the custody battles and losing a parent and not knowing where you belong. And then there's the secrets and the private demons and the public expectations. And I'm sure that that's how J.R. Feels. It's tough being your own person when you've got these superstrong, powerful, uber-parents like J.R.'s dad and my mom.
Erica: So after a horrendous few months -- I mean, Bianca's not even safe in her own apartment -- thank you.
Jack: You're welcome.
Erica: And then the hospital proceeds to lose her.
Jack: But she's ok?
Erica: And your son --
Jack: He needs a good talking-to, and I'll take care of that, believe me.
Erica: When? When, Jack? When do you plan to do that? Because Reggie has no time to lose, which is why you found me here in yesterday's clothes, because he needed someone to tell him that he belongs here, with people who love him, and not in jail.
Jack: Ok, ok, point taken, all right? I don't guess you've seen this yet, huh? "Erica, I didn't want to wake you. When angels sleep, I bet they look like you. Thanks, Reggie." Wow. Puts his old man to shame, doesn't he?
Erica: Look, Jack, I hate to say this, but there's more. I mean, in the middle of this chaos, when I was so worried to death about Bianca, Greenlee chose that moment to assault me.
Jack: Please tell me you're exaggerating.
Erica: No, she attacked me with a wheelchair. And she threatened to turn you against me.
Jack: Never happen. So, tell me, after all this, how is it you still manage to look like one of Reggie's angels?
Erica: All right, at least you're home now. It's very important that parents present a united front to the kids, and we have so much to deal with.
Jack: And we will deal with it, together, and soon, I promise you. But right now, I've got some important business.
Erica: Well, what could possibly be more important than this, Jack?
Jack: I didn't say it was more important. Just something I have to take care of.
Erica: You're kicking me out?
Jack: No, no, no, honey, I'm gently and lovingly guiding you to the door.
Erica: I see. Well, tell me something -- what could possibly be more important -- oh, of course. More with Kendall.
Ryan: Hey, hey, hey. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What happened?
Kendall: I -- I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Ryan.
Ryan: Where are you?
Kendall: I'm sorry. I'm -- I'm right here. I'm right here with you, ok? Ryan, last night I slept. I actually slept. And I know that it's not a big deal to you, but to me, after months of sleepless nights, it's miraculous. And it's because of you.
Ryan: Ok. Ryan Lavery, a long, tall, warm glass of milk.
Kendall: Ryan, listen to me. Up here, I'm with you. It's a done deal.
Ryan: Well, I can't crawl in your head with you, Kendall -- too scared of what I might find. All I can do is I can be out here, where it doesn't look so good right now.
Kendall: Please don't go backwards, Ryan. You have taken a huge leap of faith for me and you've proven yourself. My mind is telling me to trust you. The rest of me just has to catch up.
Ryan: Like this part? Come on, let's start right now.
Kendall: We -- we've been at each other's throats since you first came back into town.
Ryan: Oh, in a friendly sort of way.
Kendall: I just don't think you have any idea what it's like for me -- out on bail, the murder charge looming. It's like I --
Ryan: Like dancing on the edge of that cliff?
Ryan: You know, I never went to the prom.
Ryan: Come on. Come. Cue the mirrored ball.
Ryan: Let's dance.
Ryan: I won't let you fall.
Adam: I admit that I wasn't sorry to see Babe leave, but I give her credit for a speedy departure. She didn't try to keep up the lie once she was found out.
J.R.: Babe didn't lie. In fact, she has my complete faith and trust.
Adam: Son, are you delusional? You stand by her even now? She left here without even the decency of saying goodbye.
J.R.: Oh, she'll be back. And when she gets here, I don't want another word out of you.
Babe: Do they make muzzles in Pops' size? Miss me?
Tad: Adam Chandler may look like a silver fox, but he is 100% Tasmanian devil --
Tad: On major league pharmaceuticals.
Krystal: Nothing like a fire-eating dragon to warm up the holidays, right?
Tad: Oh, should be interesting. But something tells me 10 minutes with you and that old dragon will be whimpering like a puppy.
Krystal: Done deal --
Krystal: As long as you're right there by my side.
Tad: Oh, sure.
Krystal: How are you going to introduce me, anyway? I mean, I'm -- I'm Babe's mom and all, but what am I to you? I mean, you're -- there's the stepfather, and then there's the mom and the other in-laws and whatnot. I mean, where I come from, if it takes too long, you just call them kissing cousins.
Tad: Well, here we'd probably just say pals.
Krystal: Hmm. One strike against Pine Valley.
Tad: Ah, don't be so hard on the old place. Pals kiss here, too.
Krystal: Well, you know, I'm going to need some proof of that, so why don't we just run that puppy up the flagpole?
Simone: Well, we all know that's not on the kiddie menu.
Kendall: Oh -- sorry. Ooh! Oh.
Kendall: Hello? Ok. Yes. Thank you.
Ryan: Somebody cutting in on my dance?
Kendall: Oh. Pesky murder case ruined my shot at being prom queen.
Ryan: Ok, we'll get through this.
Kendall: You're going to come with me?
Ryan: On this one, my talents are best used elsewhere. I have a plan to make you prom queen yet.
Kendall: Ok, well, can you please share the details with me? I am having visions of "Carrie."
Ryan: Oh, oh, well, if I tell you that you're better off not knowing, would you trust me?
Kendall: On any cliff.
Jack: Erica, what can I do to convince you that this family is not going to spontaneously combust?
Erica: Well, maybe if you knew what was going on, I'd believe you.
Jack: So tell me.
Erica: All right, fine. You know, maybe Reggie's outburst was the least of it. I think that your son knows more about Michael Cambias' disappearance than he's told us.
Jack: Honey, he's been making noise about this case since the very beginning just so somebody he loves doesn't take the fall for it.
Erica: Well, he said that Kendall is not the only one who's in trouble for Michael Cambias' murder. And there was fear in his voice, Jack. This isn't just making noise.
Jack: I'll take care of Reggie.
Erica: And Bianca? Will you take a moment to deal with your niece?
Jack: Honey, you said she was fine. I mean, if you want, I'll call and check in with her doctor.
Erica: No, I think you should check with her travel agent instead because she's fine, you know? She has definitely recovered from the explosion. But now she's decided that she wants to move to Europe. Jackson, please. No matter what's on your plate, we can't let Bianca make this terrible mistake.
Lena: So Babe left while I was burning the toast?
Bianca: Well, that -- that gives us a chance to talk.
Lena: I like that. Is there room for two or should I say three?
Bianca: I know that this is awkward, this limbo that we're in.
Lena: Oh. It's not a bad place to be. The view is wonderful. And whatever happens next is completely up to you. Look, I'm really happy that you trusted me with the news of your baby.
Bianca: Well, I'm so relieved that I told you. But now I feel like I need to be more clear.
Lena: Good. I think if -- if we're honest with each other, we have a chance.
Bianca: My plans haven't changed. I'm still going to leave town. I'm going to go off someplace. I'm going to have my baby someplace secret and safe.
Lena: I didn't expect you to change your mind. Your determination and your focus are part of what I admire about you. But I have to say, the idea of you in some strange place pregnant and alone -- it really worries me.
Bianca: You don't have to be worried. I'm not going to be alone.
Lena: You'll be with Maggie.
Simone: A BJ's smiley meal. Who gets the prize? Welcome home.
Simone: When'd you get back?
Tad: We just flew in.
Tad: Simone, I would like you like to meet Krystal Carey.
Tad: We're in-laws in a 21st century, blended family kind of way.
Simone: Oh, nice to meet you. Tad and I are buddies in a 21st century, I'm sure you know what I mean kind of way.
Krystal: I sure do. Tell you what -- I'll give you two a minute to catch up.
Simone: Oh, good.
Krystal: Looks like you could use it.
Simone: Goodbye. Oh, that stinks.
Tad: So how are you?
Simone: I'm fabulous.
Simone: Why wouldn't I be? Casual is casual, and that's what we are, right? I mean, there's no reason for me to get upset just because I find you liplocked. Right? I mean, that would defeat the whole purpose of "casual." I mean, if you are being casual elsewhere, it would be nice if you would just be straight-up about it instead of claiming that you're on a mission for Jamie.
Tad: It was for Jamie.
Krystal: I get it.
Tad: Simone, I don't have a second helping of casual on the side -- honestly.
Simone: You know, I thought Liza was just having a case of bitchitis, but actually she was just trying to forewarn me. Yeah -- long live Tad the Cad.
Tad: Wait a minute.
Tad: Liza was forewarning you about me?
Tad: Where does she get off? Other than here, obviously. Oh, Liza.
Tad: Join us. Over here, come on. Right here.
Liza: Good morning. What's going on?
Tad: You tell me. You're running around issuing heartbreak warnings about me?
Liza: Well, you get around.
Tad: Not lately, I don't.
Simone: Oh. Don't be modest. That's Tad's latest conquest from his trip -- uh-huh -- a little souvenir over there at the bar.
Simone: Lucky us. The old bat in the midriff.
Tad: And good morning to you, too.
Babe: That's what I call a warm welcome.
J.R.: I did miss you.
Adam: That's it? That's it? No "Where in the hell have you been, Babe"?
J.R.: I'm not you, never will be. Get used to it.
Adam: Your wife disappears all night long, she traipses in here at breakfast, and you play kissy face?
J.R.: You got to excuse my dad. He's a little uncomfortable with public display of affection.
Adam: I'm a little uncomfortable with public displays of idiocy. You abandoned reason and self-respect? What about Jamie? You're going to abandon him, too? You're going to call him a liar and cut him out of your life?
J.R.: No, that's none of your business, either. You know, let's -- let's make a simple rule for all our conversations. My wife and my brother -- stay out of it. We can talk about Chandler Enterprises, but just don't ask me for any confidential info.
Adam: Hmm. What else is this woman going to cost you? A brother, your pride, your dignity. For what?
Babe: And here I was going to knit you a scarf for Christmas, Pops.
[J.R. and Babe chuckle]
Babe: So tell me the real story, J.R. Do I have my loving husband back in my arms, or were all those warm fuzzies just to yank Adam's chain?
Jack: Erica, maybe she just needs some distance.
Erica: Distance? Jack, look, I can't just help her pack her bags --
[Knock on door]
Erica: And say "bon voyage."
Jack: Excuse me, ok? Ah, Kendall. Good. You got my message.
Kendall: Yes, yes. So, what do you have for me? Oh. Hello, Erica.
Erica: Kendall. You look well.
Kendall: Thank you. Life out of jail agrees with me.
Erica: And I won't interfere with that. I'll let you two get to work. Kendall, you're very lucky to have Jack on your side. Don't ever take him for granted.
Kendall: I won't, I promise.
Jack: Come here, come here, come here.
Jack: Well, you, it looks like we finally caught a break.
Kendall: Oh, great. So the judge declared Michael's death an act of God?
Jack: Not quite that big a break, but I did land for you a brilliant defense attorney. She's been on the bench for a few years, but now she's back in private practice. And the best part is that she knows you and all the other players in this mess --
Kendall: Well, that's --
Jack: Because she used to be an associate of mine.
Kendall: That's great. That's -- that's amazing. So, who are we talking about?
[Knock on door]
Jack: I'll let her introduce herself.
Jack: Hi, Livia.
Jack: How are you? Your timing is perfect as usual.
Kendall: Wait -- hold -- Livia Frye? She's going to represent me?
Livia: Hello, Kendall. Jackson's already filled me in on your case, and I'm ready to get started.
Kendall: No, Livia Frye as in Derek Frye's sister? The police chief's sister?
Livia: Ok, let's move past the shock and get on to the case. I've got about a year's worth of defense to cram into a few days.
Jack: Livia and I think our best bet is to wave the preliminary hearing and get you to trial as soon as possible.
Livia: The sooner you're in the courtroom, the better.
Kendall: Wait a minute. Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, hold on. Two -- two brilliant legal minds, and this is the strategy you come up with? Just toss me in the courtroom and see what happens? Are you trying to get me convicted?
Liza: Well, who is she?
Tad: Well, just so you're up to speed, that's Krystal. She happens to be J.R.'s mother-in-law.
Liza: Ah, ok. I see the resemblance.
Liza: Come on, Simone. There's nothing romantic about this.
Simone: But he failed to mention that they were liplocked.
Tad: That was nothing. It was -- it was -- it was nothing. It was a little joke. And since you're such an expert, what about Krystal is not my type -- the fact that she's attractive and not remotely uptight?
Liza: Incoming! Way to pick 'em.
Ryan: Erica. Come in.
Erica: Oh, Ryan.
Erica: Oh, Ryan, what a great space! Imagine -- imagine how it will look furnished.
Ryan: You're all the decor any place needs, Erica.
Ryan: Thanks for coming.
Erica: Is this about Enchantment? Because I will do everything I possibly can to protect it.
Ryan: I understand your concern. This is a very crucial time, and I've made a decision I think that you probably won't like.
Erica: Well, then maybe it's time for you to come to a new decision.
Ryan: This is a done deal. I've decided to concede defeat over the Cambias estate.
Erica: That can't be, Ryan, no, that would mean that --
Ryan: Michael's child will inherit everything.
Erica: No! You can't just hand Kendall an empire, an empire that includes Enchantment!
Ryan: I can, and I want you to let it happen.
Man: I expect you to pay for that mug you threw.
Krystal: Oh, yeah? You want me to pay for the potholes in this town, too? I had just about as much to do with them as I did with that ruckus.
Tad: Would you please just go over and have a seat, ok? Just let me take care of this, please.
Krystal: Listen, Lancelot, why don't you just rest your sword and get back to the round table? I've got this one. Trust me.
Liza: Let me guess. Krystal's every man's type.
Tad: Just a little misunderstanding.
Simone: It was practically a brawl, and she took less than five minutes.
Tad: Well, maybe it wasn't such a good idea to let her handle this one solo.
Simone: Oh, so you want to ride shotgun? Let us know. We'll call the paramedics when you're ready.
Krystal: I know. It's just really way too early. I know.
Man: Just one. And, remember, it's drinks on me anytime you want.
J.R.: You knew that I'd be worried about you. You couldn't resist. You just couldn't resist messing with my head.
Babe: Look who's talking. You played tonsil hockey with me in front of Pops, and the second we're alone in private, you just push me away. I think you got things backwards.
J.R.: No, I think you owe me answers. Where the hell were you?
Babe: For your information, I devoted my night to my new friend Bianca.
J.R.: A whole town of friends, and she turns to you. I find that a little hard to swallow.
Babe: You don't believe me? Why don't you just pick up the phone and call her? But be prepared to eat your own words, mister.
Bianca: Lena, you can understand why it has to be this way, right? I mean, for us to go off together -- it's just too soon. And I can't imagine living, just you and I -- even if we had separate rooms, I -- I just can't think ahead that far.
Lena: It's ok. You know I want to be with you, but more important, I want you well and I want you safe and comfortable in a place where you can be at peace.
Bianca: As far away from here as possible.
Lena: Doesn't matter where. If you need me, I'll be there in a heartbeat. Sooner if there's no traffic. But until that happens, or even if it never happens, I'll be here, and your secret will be safe with me.
Bianca: You never ask any more than I can give. Thank you for understanding. I have one more favor to ask of you.
Lena: What, more burnt toast?
Bianca: No. Please, no. It's Kendall. I feel terrible leaving my sister like this. So I need you to promise me that you'll be there for Kendall if she needs you. Because I'm afraid that once I leave town, she's not going to have anyone else on her side. Promise me that you'll be here when I come back?
Lena: How could I ever leave?
Erica: Ryan, how could you take the Cambias estate and my beloved Enchantment and just serve it up to Kendall on a silver platter?
Ryan: I know what this means to you, Erica, and I do not do it lightly.
Erica: But you shouldn't do it at all. Ryan, you can beat Kendall. I mean, she doesn't have a shred of proof that she's pregnant with Michael Cambias' baby. Whatever happened to that DNA test?
Ryan: I'm not having Kendall take one.
Erica: Why not?
Ryan: Because it's risky. I believe she's having Michael Cambias' baby.
Erica: Oh, come on. You don't believe that any more than I do.
Ryan: I got to go with my gut here, Erica.
Erica: Please, Ryan, please just tell me that this is some tactical maneuver, this is some trick, some ploy to try to beat Kendall at her own game.
Ryan: No, no trick, no ploy. This is just me, cards on the table.
Erica: Well, in the past when you laid your cards on the table, you had an ace up your sleeve. So something's changed. You don't just give away a fortune overnight, Ryan. So, ok, ok, then you are involved with Kendall all over again. Fine. You know what? Let her seduce you, but don't let her seduce you into throwing everything away.
Kendall: Ok, please, just tell me, how could this possibly be in my best interests?
Jack: Kendall, listen to me. There are police officers, and probably a couple private investigators as well, searching the entire western United States to find those oh-so-important witnesses that your buddy Aidan found for you. You know who I mean -- the last people to see you with Michael, alive, after the medical examiner's time of death.
Livia: Not to mention the nationwide manhunt for the preacher who declared you and Michael -- and I use the term loosely -- husband and wife.
Kendall: Michael and I were married. And before I became his widow, I became the mother to his child. Did Jack skip that part?
Livia: You came back from Las Vegas with a marriage certificate. We need to get you in court before the preacher is found. It's that simple.
[Knock on door]
Jack: Excuse me. Alan Singer.
Alan: Jack. Judge Frye. I heard you were back in private practice. And we're set to do battle in the courtroom.
Livia: You heard right. What can I do for you?
Alan: It's what I can do for you and Ms. Hart.
Kendall: It's Mrs., and it's Cambias.
Alan: My apologies. What do you say we spare the commonwealth the cost of a high-profile murder trial?
Kendall: Oh, gladly. You here to drop the charges?
Alan: Cute. I'm here to offer you five to 10 years for voluntary manslaughter.
Kendall: What? You're a sicko. No. Is this your idea of a joke?
Alan: No one's laughing.
Livia: It's not a bad offer, Kendall.
Kendall: Says the chief's sister. Jack, tell them both this is ridiculous.
Jack: Kendall, I'll tell you, as part of your legal team and as part of your family, this is an offer you need to consider.
Tad: Would you excuse us for just a second? What the hell was that? How do you go from being thrown out of the place to getting drinks on the house in the blink of an eye?
Krystal: I think most people want to be friendly. Sometimes you just got to give them a little nudge.
Tad: That must have been a hell of a nudge. And do tell. I'm so frightened but strangely intrigued.
Krystal: Well, I noticed that the manager had a USMC tattoo, so I showed him mine and, boom, buddies for life.
Tad: You showed him your what?
Tad: Not bad. Lucky for you -- what would have happened if he'd been in the Air Force?
Krystal: Oh, well, just a little fast pen job in the ladies room. I would have drawn wings if he had been in the Air Force. I'm a real patriotic gal, you know?
Tad: I'll be damned.
Krystal: I support all the military.
Tad: Sort of an interactive recruitment poster, huh?
Tad: You really are a glass half full kind of girl, aren't you?
Krystal: Haven't you noticed by now? I'm a glass so full it's spilling over kind of gal. Now, you going to take me to see my baby doll? I am ready for the mansion.
Tad: Yeah. I just don't know if the mansion's ready for you.
Erica: Ok, you want to protect Kendall's alibi. I understand that. Fine. But don't throw away everything to do it.
Ryan: Erica, do you really want your daughter to go to prison for Michael's murder?
Erica: Of course I don't. Of course not. But that doesn't mean that I have to accept every hideous thing she says she's done.
Ryan: Granted, Kendall has been a little bit off the wall.
Erica: You know, she -- she fought Michael Cambias with me. She saved me from him the night he attacked me. And that night last July during the storm, she was so loving, she was so caring. And for the first time, we became really close. Really close. And then all this chaos happened, and then I just lost her. I lost her forever.
Ryan: No. No, no, no. No, no, you didn't. She's still -- she's right there. Focus on that instead of the chaos. Hang on to what you two found.
Erica: While she robs both of us blind?
Ryan: If I force the DNA test, it puts her back up against the wall.
Erica: So you want us to reward her instead?
Ryan: I want to save her from herself, and I want to try to protect anyone that's close to her. Erica, you know even better than I do. You know that she will do absolutely anything to pass that test, no matter what the risk or to who.
Ryan: If we force Kendall to take the test, it'll mean -- it'll mean a duck-and-cover for everybody that's involved, and the cops will be all over, and the odds are the truth will come barreling out -- a truth that nobody wants loose.
Erica: Who really killed Michael Cambias.
Ryan: Some secrets should be kept, Erica.
Erica: And that's one of them.
Ryan: So let's just wave the white flag. Let's say that Kendall is carrying Michael's child, and let's stick to it.
Erica: But, Ryan, if we can see there's no going back --
Ryan: Believe me, I hate doing this to you. I know that you have been through so much this year already -- too much already. Cambias deserved to die after ripping through you and the ones that you love.
Erica: Well, I can handle it. I have to.
Ryan: Yeah, Chris used to say that you could handle anything.
Erica: Except his death. That was very hard. And I'm not sure that I've really dealt with that at all yet.
Ryan: Well, when you do, I'm there with you.
Erica: Thank you.
Ryan: You know, I like to think that you and I have a -- a special connection, you know, because we both loved him.
Erica: It's true. But, Ryan, what you're asking me now --
Ryan: I would never ask this if it wasn't so incredibly important. Kendall's future rides on this, possibly her life.
Kendall: I'm innocent, I'm going to prove it, and I'll be damned if I spend another night in jail.
Livia: My client respectfully declines your offer.
Alan: The gratitude almost knocked me over. In that case, a court order for a DNA test on the would-be Cambias baby. The results will be compared to DNA samples from Michael Cambias obtained by the medical examiner.
Livia: Wait a minute. This is not a cheek swab or a hair sample. You can't just whip out a court order.
Alan: Can and did. I claimed special circumstances.
Jack: You ordered an invasive procedure that could put my client's baby at risk?
Kendall: You're some kind of a sick freak. What, you got something against babies?
Alan: You're all motherly concern, aren't you, Mrs. Cambias? But I ask you, what's a needle or two when you got the Cambias fortune at your fingertips? I got to hand it to you, you know how to plan ahead. If you manage to crank out a Cambias bambino, you're rich and you get away with murder. Batting 1,000.
Jack: You know what? You're in my home, Alan. You save this for the courtroom.
Alan: Oh, don't worry about me. I got plenty of material. If your client won't take the test, I'll tell the jury what a cold, twisted, calculating liar she is. Her dead husband will come out looking like a saint, and I'll personally take a much greater interest in her last pregnancy test and figure out exactly how she got away with it.
Kendall: You want a piece of me? Fine. Fine, I'll take your damn test.
J.R.: I don't need to call Bianca. I'm glad you could help her. But you can't be bolting off in the middle of the night and not telling me where you're headed.
Babe: Oh, baby, I understand. You wanted to needle your old man, and handy-dandy old Babe wasn't there to shove in his face.
J.R.: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Maybe you should pull back on that self-righteous indignation. My problems with you have nothing to do with my father.
Babe: Until your father stuck his nose in our business, you and me were headed for nothing but happy endings.
J.R.: And just before that happy ending came the Pine Cone Motel.
Babe: Oh, if you're going to go back to that, I can just take myself elsewhere.
J.R.: You asked me to choose sides, and I did. It doesn't mean that I'm over this whole Jamie thing.
Babe: No, J.R. You can barely even look at me, and it would just about kill you to touch me -- unless your daddy was watching, of course. How do you think that makes me feel?
J.R.: Kind of makes you wonder why we got together in the first place, right?
Babe: Not for a second. We got together because it was written in the stars. It was flat-out meant to be. Now, the stars did their part. Now we just got to do ours. You need more time. I hear you. But what do you propose I do in the meantime, bake cookies and iron your jammies like a good little wife?
J.R.: Let's start with something simple, like tonight -- you might want to spend it in bed with your husband.
Babe: I could want to do that, but it doesn't mean he's not going to spend the night downstairs with his superimportant files like he did the night before.
J.R.: At least I told you where I'd be. Oh, and by the way, I'll be in the library.
Krystal: Baby doll?
Babe: Mama? Oh, my -- thank God you're here.
Krystal: Thank God you're here.
Adam: Excuse me. Could you direct me to Dr.
Parker? He examined my daughter-in-law for her pregnancy, and I want to thank
him in person.
Ryan: Can you go with me on this, Erica? Can you let Kendall make it through the trial as the mother of Michael's unborn child?
Erica: And the owner of Enchantment? I built Enchantment. I am Enchantment. And now, I mean, just to watch it float away -- what recourse do I have?
Ryan: You'll have me. You -- you can trust me to work this out. You will not be left with nothing when this is over. I could not possibly do that to you. My father would never forgive me.
Erica: Chris would be very proud of you. You've become the man you were meant to be.
Ryan: That means a lot to me.
Erica: Only for you, Ryan Lavery.
Ryan: So -- so you're with me?
Erica: I don't like this at all, but, yes, all right, I'll go with you on this. I won't contest Kendall's claim. As far as I'm concerned, she's having the devil's baby.
Ryan: Thank you. Erica, this -- this is one of life's grand gestures. But from you, this is downright regal. You won't be sorry.
Erica: I better not be.
Jack: Kendall, do not rise to the bait. Do not do this because he is pushing your buttons. You understand?
Livia: You need to shake this off.
Kendall: No, I meant what I said. I'll take your stupid test. Want me to write it on your forehead?
Jack: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Alan: Quite a temper on this one. That'll come in handy in court -- for me.
Jack: Alan, you've made an offer. It's been refused. Now take your piece of paper and get the hell out.
Alan: It's not just paper, Jack. It's a court order.
Livia: It's an order we can fight.
Kendall: No, no, this is a done deal. I will go to the doctor, I will get the DNA proof that we need, and I will laugh in your stupid, little face.
Alan: Well, there's no need to bring me the proof. I'll be there to witness the procedure myself.
>> On the next "All My Children" --
Krystal: You tell your son to butt out of my daughter's life.
Adam: All I need is five minutes alone with Babe's file.
Kendall: The lying, the pretending -- it's over. I blew it.
Greenlee: Who do I have to kill around here to get a little attention?
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