All My Children Transcript Wednesday 12/10/03
Provided By Suzanne
Proofread by Gisele
Kendall: Tommy, Iíll have a vodka gimlet, please. Thanks.
J.R.: Who's driving you to drink?
Kendall: I asked you first. Look, J.R., I got all the time in the world.
J.R.: Listen, Kendall, this whole situation's really hairy.
Kendall: J.R., you are sitting beside the woman who married her sister's rapist, got knocked up by him, and is about a year away from taking the needle for his murder. Hairy, hell. Now, come on and spill.
J.R.: You're pregnant by Michael Cambias?
Kendall: Yeah, well, that's what the medical records say. Tommy, you know what? Actually, I will change that to a chocolate malt, please. Heavy on the malt.
Tommy: You got it.
Kendall: Thanks. Yeah. Peewee Cambias won't seem real until he's kicking and screaming his way out.
J.R.: I'm sorry, Kendall. I didn't know --
Kendall: No, it's ok. Look, I'm not the one who's throwing them back. Now, tell me, what's going on with you?
J.R.: Do you know the game who to believe?
Kendall: Well, who are the other players?
J.R.: My brother and my wife.
Adam: Aha. Young love. What could be more touching? But this is hardly a fit setting for romance. Why don't you take my private jet and go somewhere where they speak the language of love? This should keep you in champagne and rose petals, and there's -- there's more where that came from. Be my guests! Follow your wanderlust.
Jamie: Why don't you take your offer and your jet and your stinking money and get the hell out of here?
Adam: Jamie, Jamie, pay attention. I'm offering you and Babe a life together. Scratch that itch that's driving you both crazy. The heart wants what the heart wants. Don't deny it. If I had come in five minutes later, you would've been having at each other like -- oh! Oh.
Greenlee: Ryan -- Ryan, call for help.
Ryan: Wait, wait, wait, wait. Where's -- where's my ice? I ordered ice, like, an hour ago. I can't have scotch on the rocks with no rocks? And you -- will you please put my dry cleaning inside my closet --
Greenlee: I need help here.
Ryan: Oh, you know what? So what do we got? We got like a party of four! I got plenty of room in my mini bar. Darling, what's your pleasure? I got -- I got Scotch, I got --
Greenlee: Great -- you're drunk, we're dead.
Ryan: I got vodka --
[Man speaking in Spanish]
Ryan: Oh -- no, no. No, no, no, no, don't be like that. There's always time for a drink. I met some ladies in the bar that would love to talk to you. You can tell them about bullfights! Toro!
Juan Pablo: Now!
Greenlee: Ryan -- oh, my God. Oh! My God --
Ryan: All right. Go call the cops. Tell them there's a man down. Go.
[Speaking in Spanish]
Ryan: Pablo, relax! Is he worth a stretch in prison? Huh? Ok. All right. This one's still breathing. He's still breathing!
Greenlee: The police are on their way.
Officer: Stand back, now.
Ryan: Looks like the cavalry's already arrived.
[Juan Pablo speaking Spanish]
Greenlee: I just called them. How'd they get here this fast?
Ryan: You know what? They're just in time to keep me from killing this stupid son of a bitch!
Jamie: You diss her again and I'll drive a hole right through you.
Adam: No, no, no, no. You just get one free throw, and I'm excusing that because you acted in the defense of a lady.
Jamie: Oh, yesterday Babeís trash and now she's a lady?
Adam: Yeah, well, now that J.R.ís eyes have been pried open --
Adam: I can afford to be generous.
Jamie: How did you even know --
Adam: What, that J.R. caught you, his brother, with his wife in this by-the-hour passion pit?
Jamie: Oh, your spies.
Adam: Hired employees. Part of my economic stimulus package. Just how devastated was J.R. by your betrayal?
Jamie: Oh, he got what he asked for. And so did you, Adam. I mean, are you happy? Your son is as rank and nasty as you are.
Adam: You are living proof that J.R. has been much, much too trusting, and now he's finally learned the hardest lesson in life -- that trust isn't always a two-way street. It's usually a dead end.
Babe: You -- you wrecked everything.
Adam: Well, now, let's give credit where it's due, Babe. You could have been cashing in on J.R.ís trust fund if you'd kept your hot pants on.
Babe: Another cheap shot. You keep them coming.
Adam: No, no, I'm through. I'm through, Babe, and, mercifully, so are you.
Babe: Yeah? Maybe you're right. I told J.R. if we're done, he could just stick a fork in us and I'd walk away with the clothes on my back and some real sweet memories.
Adam: As the sun sets in the west, wave goodbye to Babe and her bag of dirty tricks.
Babe: What's going to happen to you once I'm gone, Adam, when it's just you and J.R. all alone in that old house? If J.R. stays around, and that's a big if. You see how your son looks at you? I'll give you a clue. It's not a look of love.
Adam: I know my son better than you do.
Babe: That is the porker of all lies.
Jamie: You got that right.
Babe: What do you know? You don't know your brother any better than this jerk does!
Adam: Oh, you do? After three months, you're an expert on my son?
Babe: You got that right, Pops. And before I am flushed out to sea, I am going to tell you both what kind of guy my husband is.
Kendall: Thank you very much.
Tommy: You're welcome.
J.R.: Jamie says he made it with my wife and the kid is his. Babe says that Jamieís only dreaming and the baby has my DNA.
Kendall: Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on. Hold on a second. What happened to the whole honeymoon period when all you have to stress about was a toaster?
J.R.: We skipped that phase.
Kendall: Whoa, talk about fast-forward. You guys have, like, six years plus change before the seven-year itch is supposed to kick in.
J.R.: Well, either my wife got the itch or my brother's a rat.
Kendall: Ok, well, who's telling the truth? Your gut instinct.
J.R.: Well, I want to believe Babe, but why would Jamie lie to me?
Kendall: Jealousy? Revenge?
J.R.: He says he loves her.
Kendall: Oh, yes. Lies in the name of love. Those top the chart. I mean, look at me. I rode into Pine Valley on a lie. I didn't tell Erica who I was or what I wanted from her. Had to spin one lie after the other ever since.
J.R.: What did it get you? What was the point?
Kendall: It got me heartache, mostly.
J.R.: Then why do it?
Kendall: Because sometimes the most vicious lie can hurt less than the truth. When Erica rejects me, which she does on a daily basis, it's not really me she's rejecting. It's the lie. You wrap yourself in enough of them, and pretty soon you're bulletproof -- or almost.
J.R.: I still don't think I get the percentage in it.
Kendall: And you call yourself Adam Chandlerís son?
J.R.: Hey, hey, hey, easy. Not so loud.
Kendall: Come on, J.R. Hasn't living with the Prince of Darkness taught you anything about being greedy and selfish?
J.R.: Nothing I wanted to learn.
Kendall: Look, you want to play with the big cats, you got to learn the laws of the jungle. Now, listen. Lesson one -- say I have something you want really badly.
J.R.: Like what?
Kendall: Whatever. Just use your imagination.
J.R.: How about your body?
Kendall: That's a good one. Very good. Ok. So, how are you going to get it? And be creative. How are you going to take me and leave me begging for more?
J.R.: The first thing that drew me in was your eyes. You always look like you have a secret behind them. I want you to give it up to me. I want to get lost in your hair and drunk off the way you taste.
J.R.: What? It worked on a girl in Malaysia -- till I found out her father was the mayor and he chased me off with a shotgun.
Kendall: All right, great. Ok, so, besides how to run like a cheetah, what have you learned?
J.R.: Flattery gets me nowhere with a woman as savvy as you?
Kendall: You are such a BS artist. Congratulations.
J.R.: Why? What did I do?
Kendall: Because you figured out that winning is not about the truth, it's about knowing what you want and what you're willing to put out there to get it.
J.R.: You lost me.
Kendall: All right, J.R., look, look, ok, let's focus. We've got Babe and Jamie, and one of them's lying to you.
J.R.: Which one?
Kendall: It doesn't matter which one. Babe can lie until the cows come home.
J.R.: Been there, done that.
Kendall: Fine, ok. And Jamie can spin the facts until he's dizzy. But don't play truth or dare. Don't get sucked into that. Figure out what you want and how far you're willing to go to get it.
J.R.: So how this plays out is up to me?
Kendall: Yes. You are the man with all of the power. Just decide what you want. Do you want a golden anniversary with Babe? Or do you want your father's stamp of approval? Choosing is the hardest part. The rest is just plumbing -- how you fix it and make it work.
J.R.: So you came up with this theory all on your own?
Kendall: Yes, yes, I did. I think it's a pretty good theory. There's a few glitches here and there, but try it. And if you're not satisfied, see me for a refund.
J.R.: Can I cash in on that option now?
Kendall: That's the best offer I've had all day.
J.R.: Take me up on it.
Kendall: That would depend on what happens with my trial. May have to settle for conjugal visits. Now, stop stalling and tell me who you've set your sights on, Babe or Jamie.
Babe: It's all about you. Your son and your baby. You two are both so caught up in your own groove, you never once stopped to ask me what kind of guy my husband is.
Adam: Oh, and you're about to enlighten us.
Babe: Did you know that J.R. scooped me up off of a pier in San Diego? Do you want to know why?
Adam: Sirens have been luring sailors onto the rocks and into their beds for eons. It's the world's oldest profession.
Jamie: Shut it, Adam! He's calling you a hooker.
Babe: I don't need you to defend me, ok? And I have never once turned a trick in my life! And if you think that your son was out cruising for sex, you are so dead wrong. Your son fell in love with me, and he fell hard. You want to know why? Because I never once tried to change him or control him or tell him what he needed to be when he grew up. He was already a man, his own man. And that was just fine by me. J.R. loved me because I loved him for who he was.
Adam: At least you convinced him you did.
Babe: I know that sometimes love comes with strings attached and it can strangle someone to death. And I know that the wrong kind of love can come off as hate. And I know that if you want to earn your son's love back --
Adam: I never lost it.
Babe: All you have to do is ask him who he is and what his dreams are and -- and shut up and listen.
Jamie: Like that'll ever happen.
Babe: And you -- grow a life of your own! This baby inside me is not up for grabs. It's J.R.ís, not yours. You got that? I belong to J.R., not you! I would love to tell the both of you to go to hell right now. But J.R. wouldnít want that.
Officer: Hey, ease up there, pal.
Juan Pablo: It's all right, Martin. We are all on edge.
Officer: You ok, Pablo?
Juan Pablo: Yes.
Officer: Better bring me up to speed.
Greenlee: Have you gone totally schizo? One minute you're saving Juan Pabloís life --
Ryan: Well, that's my call what to do with it.
Greenlee: Oh, beat up on him for the hell of it?
Ryan: He's lucky I didn't rip his head off and stuff it down his throat!
Greenlee: Nice, Ryan. Real nice. The guy you want to waste has just lost his brother. Those guys could have killed us.
Ryan: Greenlee, do you have any idea why I went off on him? Do you know how many times I told that jerk to cut you loose so you wouldn't end up in a body bag?
Greenlee: Juan Pablo thought the danger was gone now that Carlos --
Ryan: Yeah? Really? Well, the danger is as clear and as present as ever.
Martin: Hey, is this your weapon?
Ryan: No, I got it off of him.
Martin: Hand it over.
Paramedic: What have we got?
Martin: We got a gunshot wound to the shoulder.
Paramedic: He's got a good carotid pulse. Airway is intact.
Second Paramedic: He's losing blood fast.
Ryan: You see these boys in blue? These are not regular cops, Greenlee, these are Feds. And Pablo seems a little too chummy with these guys, don't you think?
Greenlee: Juan Pablo, you know these guys?
Juan Pablo: Yes. When the Calatravases began sending death squads across the border, Edmund and I called the Feds.
Ryan: Ah, well, the Federales did a bang-up job. You know, you would be dead if I hadn't have jumped in there.
Greenlee: Listen, the creeps are arrested, ok? They can't touch us now.
Ryan: What are you talking about, Greenlee? You could have an army watching your back, it won't make any difference if a bullet meant for Pablo took you out. So you listen to me very carefully. This is your final warning. You stay the hell away from Greenlee.
Paramedic: Lift on three. One, two, three.
Juan Pablo: I have to go make a statement. Will you be all right?
Juan Pablo: I will have one of the marshals --
Ryan: No, I'll take her, all right?
Juan Pablo: Then Iíll call you later.
Ryan: Yeah. Hey, hey, hey, Pablo, you forgetting something?
Juan Pablo: I don't believe so.
Ryan: No? No? How about a big, fat thank-you for saving your worthless life?
Juan Pablo: Muchas gracias.
Juan Pablo: I love you. Never forget that. The south side --
Babe: What are you doing?
Stuart: Hi. Hi, Babe. I'm learning how to meditate.
Babe: You mean, like, stare at your bellybutton?
Stuart: Yeah, sort of. Everyone says it's really good for you.
Babe: Well, how so?
Stuart: Well, it makes your mind quiet.
Babe: You have a loud mind?
Stuart: Compared to what? I never heard anyone elseís.
Babe: Good thing you can't hear mine. I'd give anything to hit the kill switch right now.
Stuart: Hmm. Well, why don't you give this a try.
Babe: Oh, no, I'd feel silly.
Stuart: No. Of course you -- no, you won't. I mean, even if you do, who cares? It's just the two of us. Come on.
Babe: Well, what the heck? What have I got to lose? Ok. So, how do I start?
Stuart: Ok, well, just try to cross your legs if you can, and then close your eyes and then just breathe. In and out, like this.
Babe: It isn't working.
Stuart: Well, it takes practice to imagine nothing.
Babe: I don't know, maybe this just isn't me.
Stuart: Well, why not? Come on. Try to -- come on. Give it another try. Just -- just relax and close your eyes and breathe in and out, like that. Just easy.
Stuart: Oh, Babe, I didn't mean to make you cry.
Babe: It's not you, Stuart.
Stuart: I could tell you were sad when you came in.
Babe: You could? How?
Stuart: Because the room didn't light up like it usually does when you're around.
Babe: I am so burned out, Stuart. I have nobody to blame but myself.
Stuart: What happened?
Babe: I messed up, and I lied to J.R. about it.
Stuart: Why did you lie to him?
Babe: Beats the hell out of me.
Stuart: That's not much of an answer.
Babe: I guess I just didn't want to lose J.R. and -- and all this.
Stuart: Yeah, that's -- I don't think that's all of it.
Babe: Stuart, things just changed. It just hit me. All of a sudden, I knew that I could leave all this, but I couldn't leave J.R. knowing that I'd hurt him. I'd rather die than make him unhappy.
Stuart: Sometimes we can't help but make people unhappy.
Babe: J.R. deserves way better than that.
Stuart: He deserves the truth, whatever that is. Have you told him the truth? Are you still lying to him?
Kendall: Ok, so tell me, who stays on the island and who shoves off on a boat -- Babe, Jamie, or you?
J.R.: Hmm. I'm not really good with multiple choice.
Kendall: No, now, remember, there are no right answers.
J.R.: Ok, if you're so smart, why don't you take the test.
Kendall: Excuse me?
J.R.: Yeah. See how you score on this thing.
J.R.: Who or what do you really want?
Kendall: You know what? No -- thank you -- J.R., my life is not as whacked-out as yours is.
J.R.: Oh, Kendall, come on.
J.R.: No -- you're a triple whammy -- user, liar, husband killer.
Kendall: Accused husband killer. Don't believe everything you hear.
J.R.: Oh, come on, you haven't made all your decisions yet. Show me how it's done so I can tell Jamie or Babe who the lucky winner is.
Kendall: You're a very tough student.
J.R.: Well, I thought this was your best subject.
Kendall: Ok. Ok, teacher's pet. I'm torn between two men in my life.
J.R.: Ok. Do I know them?
Kendall: Let's just -- let's just call them guy A and guy B.
J.R.: Guy A and guy B. Sweet. Who's in the lead?
Greenlee: You told Juan Pablo you'd take me home.
Ryan: Yeah. Not until we get something straight.
Greenlee: Forget it, I'll take a cab.
Ryan: Oh, that's a great idea -- get into a flaming-yellow car to make it easier for the hit men to pick you off.
Greenlee: The guys who are after Juan Pablo are in custody.
Ryan: Oh, so it must mean the streets are safe, right? What is it about "Pablo that equals danger" that you don't understand?
Greenlee: This is you trying to scare me.
Ryan: You're damn straight. I want you good and scared because I want you alive.
Greenlee: Oh, so you want me to look over my shoulder every five seconds? I'm fine.
Ryan: Until the next time the hit men take a crack at you. Greenlee, just because two of their guns got busted doesn't mean that they're going to lay them down and, you know, go home.
Greenlee: This is what you get for watching "Godfather" on cable.
Ryan: Greenlee, Greenlee, it's a blood feud, and it's not going to stop until there's no one left standing.
Greenlee: What do you want me to do, Ryan? Blow Juan Pablo off because loving him is too risky?
Ryan: Write a note. Write a note, I'll make sure he gets it.
Greenlee: Take the exit marked "coward"? Cut and run like you did with Kendall? You know what? I don't do vanishing acts. If Juan Pablo needs me, then that's --
Ryan: Let him meet, like, another woman a million miles from here.
Greenlee: Ok, the playboy rep is not who Juan Pablo really is.
Ryan: Well, that's why he said he dumped you.
Greenlee: He was trying to protect me. He didn't mean it.
Ryan: Well, let's pretend he did, and let's live longer.
Greenlee: You heard him say that he loves me.
Ryan: Wait a minute. Let's just jog my memory for one second here. Who is the brown-eyed girl that was in my bed the other day who was, like, making love offerings and everything?
Greenlee: I was hung-over, confused.
Ryan: Oh. Well, now you're sober and you're even more confused. Greenlee, this drive that you have to make it work with Juan Pablo is a death wish.
Greenlee: You bastard.
Ryan: Hey. All right. Ok, let's just say for the sake of argument that you do love Juan Pablo and he loves you, too. There's no future in it, darling. There's no future. He's a walking dead man. What, do you want to commit to a guy who's not even going to make it to next year? Losing Leo almost killed you. What, are you trying to finish the job? If you saw someone that you truly cared about that was getting ready to jump into a fiery volcano, would you warn them about the molten lava or would you just say "bon voyage"? You're staring down the mouth of the volcano, Greenlee. You got to step back. All right? This whole thing with Pablo is headed for a really, really bad ending. I don't want you anywhere near the bullets when they start flying. Ok.
J.R.: So, who's it going to be, Kendall? Guy A or guy B?
Kendall: If I knew, would I be debating life and love with a guy as clueless as I am?
J.R.: Oh, so you -- you can talk it, but you can't take it. Guy A -- what does he do for you?
Kendall: Guy A -- he makes me feel loved and wanted and protected. And for a gal who grew up in gator-infested backwater, that's saying something.
J.R.: Ok, so one point for guy A. What else?
Kendall: He's -- he's warm, he's funny, he's generous, he's dependable, he's patient. He's a man's man who makes me feel like a woman.
J.R.: All right. Moving on to guy B.
Kendall: No, no, wait, I'm still stuck on guy A. He's loyal, he's -- he's sexy as hell, and he's -- he's so tuned into me, it's scary.
Kendall: No. No, he has these rules that he plays by, and he wants me to play by them, too. But he's fair. He's fair and he's honest. And no matter what, I always know he's on my side.
J.R.: So you turn the page to guy B, and the answer is?
Kendall: Oh, none of the above. No, he's tricky, he's disloyal, he's -- he has a humongous ego. Huge ego. And he -- I can't trust him to give me change for a dollar. In fact, when I'm with him, I feel like I'm walking the high wire without a net.
J.R.: He scares you?
Kendall: Yeah, in a -- a free-flowing, turned-on, sexy sort of way. But he's -- he's totally into himself, all about himself. And in his world, there are no second chances.
J.R.: So then what are we talking about?
Kendall: We're talking about a guy built like Adonis who's so hot, you need a six-digit SPF. But when he's cold, you could damn near die of freezer burn.
J.R.: Ok, so putting personality aside and the swimsuit competition a wash, it looks like guy A is in the lead, a clear winner. So how did guy B get into the finals?
Kendall: Because I'm crazy. Or Iím a sucker for punishment. I don't know. We can't be in the same room for more than five minutes without getting into a knockdown-dragout fight. But it's always something worth fighting for, and on whatever grounds we win or lose, we always stay and we duke it out and we always come back for more.
J.R.: Guy A by a nose.
Brooke: Hold it right there, mister. Where have you been?
Jamie: Mom, I am so not in the mood.
Brooke: You were supposed to meet me at "Tempo," a research project?
Jamie: Something came up.
Brooke: Something curvy and blonde in the form of Babe Chandler?
Jamie: Where did you get that?
Brooke: Tad called and told me he is away, out of town on some supersecret mission.
Jamie: Dad said that?
Brooke: I'm not quoting him. It's just that he hedged so much, I could only surmise that his sudden departure had something to do with Babe.
Jamie: Believe whatever you want.
Brooke: You know, your father assumes -- mistakenly -- that it's better for everybody if Iím out of the loop.
Jamie: Just leave it alone, Mom.
Brooke: Well, how can I do that, Jamie? I mean, here you are. You tell me that you're in love with your brother's wife, you think that you might have gotten her pregnant, so I need to be in on this discussion.
Jamie: It's -- it's too late for talking. It's time to make my move.
Brooke: Yeah? And what move would that be?
Jamie: I'm going to marry Babe.
Brooke: I see. And when is the big day -- before or after she's divorced?
Babe: Stuart, just promise me something -- no matter what you think of me, or you will, just know I never meant to hurt J.R.
Stuart: Oh, I know that.
Babe: I mean, at first, I just lied to save my own sorry behind and -- and now I'm just afraid Iíll lose him because I made so many mistakes.
Stuart: Everybody makes mistakes, Babe.
Babe: Not like mine.
Stuart: Like me and Marian. Yeah, before we were married, she -- oh, she did a whole lot of things that she was really sorry about afterwards.
Babe: Yeah? Like what?
Stuart: Well, um -- I forget.
Babe: Well, that's impossible.
Stuart: Oh, well -- no, no, no, no, the things that -- all the things that she did -- well, she did before she met me -- had nothing to do with me and -- or how much she loved me. So the mistakes we made in the past -- well, they don't really count anymore, unless you keep making the same ones over and over again.
Babe: And you never held any of that against her?
Stuart: Oh! Why would I do that? I love her -- just the way J.R. loves you.
Babe: Stuart, I have made such a mess of things. I mean, the one minute when I think I've learned my lesson, I just -- I land myself in another pile.
Stuart: Maybe it's because you're not watching where you're going.
Babe: You're right. I mean, I just live for whatever comes up next -- no road map, no plan.
Stuart: No? No, like -- like having J.R.ís baby? Didn't plan that, did you? You remember what you said about being in a fairy tale? I think it can still have a happy ending.
Babe: Tell me, Stuart, how? I'll do anything.
Stuart: You have to really mean that.
Babe: I do, I swear.
Stuart: Ok. Ok. You said a while ago you were afraid. Fear -- fear will take you down a long, lonesome road, Babe. But love -- what you have to do is decide whether you love J.R. more than you're afraid of losing him.
Brooke: See -- how calm your mother is? You just told me you intend to marry your brother's wife. I think I'm handling it very well. I do, however, have a few questions.
Jamie: I think Dad's right. I think you better stay out of it.
Brooke: Well, that's not going to happen. So tell me -- did you actually propose to Babe?
Jamie: Not yet.
Brooke: Well, did she encourage you? Did she tell you that she loves you?
Jamie: Not exactly.
Brooke: Well, so then how do you -- you don't even know if she wants to leave J.R. for you.
Jamie: It's going to happen.
Brooke: And why do you think that?
Jamie: Because I have proof that the baby she's having is mine.
Brooke: What proof?
Jamie: Well, it's not 100% for sure --
Brooke: What proof?
Jamie: I went to see Babeís doctor, and he told me he fudged how far along she is. I mean, it's possible that I could be the father.
Brooke: Oh, God. Oh, God. Tell me this is not happening.
Jamie: Do you think Iím loving this, Mom?
Brooke: I don't know what to think.
Jamie: I mean, my own brother hates me -- not that I can blame him. I mean, the one girl that comes along and makes me fall for her is his freaking wife!
Brooke: Jamie, look, just because you have feelings for her doesn't mean you have to act on them.
Jamie: It's too late. Babe and I made a baby together. I can't walk away from that, just like Dad didn't walk away from me.
Brooke: That was not the same thing.
Jamie: Why? Because you were older? Dad was with Dixie when he got you pregnant, and he didn't run out on us.
Brooke: All right, all right, listen, listen. I don't want you to do anything as far as marrying Babe or thinking about marrying Babe right now. I don't want you to talk to anybody until your father gets back home, all right?
Jamie: Who do you think you're talking to?
Brooke: Jamie, I don't want you to talk to anybody or do anything rash until your father gets back here and we can make this decision as a family.
Jamie: It's my life, not yours. I decide what to do with it.
Brooke: As long as you live in this house, you --
Jamie: I could fix that right now.
Brooke: Where are you going? Jamie, you come back! Don't -- come back so I can lock you in your room until you're 40.
Babe: You know, Stuart, J.R. might not have been my first, but he's still my one and only.
Stuart: You're saying that you've been around some, but J.R. has your heart now? Just like me and my Marian.
Babe: If J.R. can just find it in his heart to be half as sweet as you. But you know how guys are.
Stuart: Yeah. No, I don't. How are they?
Babe: Well, they like knowing that their girl just came off the assembly line with no miles on them. I wonder why that is.
Adam: Because you can't roll back the odometer. A loose woman is like a used car. You can buff out the dents and put a new coat of paint on her, but she's still damaged goods.
Stuart: My first car wasn't much to look at, but she purred like a kitten.
Babe: So a guy can go out tomcatting and his wife, chances are, if she loves him, she'll take him back, but then if a woman strays --
Adam: Well, is it the first offense, or is she a serial cheater? Hmm? If she is, her husband has every right to throw her out on the trash heap.
Babe: There's no room for forgiveness in your world, is there, Adam?
Adam: What are you doing here? I thought you would have packed your bags and be thumbing a ride to the nearest naval base by now.
Stuart: Babe has some problems, Adam.
Adam: Yes, and she came right straight here to cry on your shoulder. Don't buy it, Stuart. That's your only weakness -- you never see the bad in everyone.
Stuart: No, that's not true, Adam. I'm looking right straight at you now, and all I see is bad.
Juan Pablo: Edmund.
Edmund: Pablo. Late for you to be out.
Juan Pablo: The Calatravases -- tonight they sent another death squad. This time for me.
Edmund: That surprise you?
Juan Pablo: No, I suppose not. Thanks to Ryan Lavery, they're in custody.
Edmund: Buy him a beer, say thanks.
Juan Pablo: You're angry with me.
Edmund: Y a vos, que te parece? [And what do you think?]
Juan Pablo: Because of what I said to Maria?
Edmund: Because you blamed my wife for killing your brother. Now, before you go off and try to slap her with some malpractice suit and ruin her life, I'm going to prove she wasn't at fault.
Juan Pablo: You have such proof?
Edmund: Yeah, I do. Right here.
Stuart: Babe is not the bad one here, Adam. I know what you've been doing -- making trouble for her and J.R.
Adam: You don't know the first thing about this, Stuart.
Stuart: I know that Babe is family and what you're doing is mean. So just stop it, or you're going to be sorry.
Adam: I could take care of this piece of work with a few dollar bills.
Stuart: Stop saying that. Stop it. Adam, you -- you're going to lose your grandbaby. And it's going to serve you right.
J.R.: Ah. Home, sweet home.
Edmund: Check this out.
Juan Pablo: Photos of Andrť and Miguel Calatravas.
Edmund: That's all Iíve been staring at for three hours till I decided to fool around with the images. There you go, blow it up, increase the resolution. Check that out.
Juan Pablo: Their rings.
Edmund: Their signet rings -- the Calatravas family crest. I saw one of those rings. Thanksgiving.
Juan Pablo: Where?
Edmund: A male nurse that was helping your brother at the hospital.
Juan Pablo: Are you sure?
Edmund: As sure as -- for about two cents, Iíd let the Calatravases take you out. But as much as you hurt her, Maria wouldn't want that. So, for her sake, I'm going to help you put these bastards out of business.
Ryan: You have to know how I feel about you. I need you alive and in my life. Now, please, let me protect you.
Kendall: Oh, is poor Greenlee in trouble again? Tell me how I can make it feel better.
On the next "All My Children" --
Adam: You are Babeís husband. You have every right to go to the doctor, see how pregnant she is and whether or not you're the father.
Greenlee: If magic or miracles exist, isn't now the time to prove it?
Ryan: What is it you want, Kendall?
Kendall: I want you.
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