AMC Transcript Monday 12/1/03

All My Children Transcript Monday 12/1/03

Provided By Suzanne
Proofread by Gisele

Adam: Get the hell out of here.

Lt. Perry: Maybe after we talk, you can get back to your Thanksgiving.

Adam: My attorney will contact you in the morning.

Lt. Perry: Now, sir.

Justin: This is not going to take a long time if you'll cooperate with us, all right?

Lt. Perry: Let's step outside.

Adam: You're wasting everyone's time here. I can't solve the Cambias murder for you incompetents.

Lt. Perry: You might surprise yourself. Let's start with where you were the night a person or persons shot and killed Michael Cambias.

Opal: Good Lord in heaven, I told you they'd catch up with you.

Derek: Anything you're not sure of, anything even slightly off, you bag it, we take it. And her clothing -- all of it. I want it boxed and in the lab.

Ryan: You guys in the moving business now?

Derek: Could be if we find what we're after.

Ryan: You got a search warrant, I assume.

Derek: You assume correctly.

Ryan: I'd like to conduct a little search of my own.

Derek: Anything in particular?

Ryan: Same thing you guys are looking for -- proof Kendall Hart�s a world-class liar.

Erica: It's Kendall or me. I mean it.

Jack: Just try to remember the spirit of the holiday, will you?

Mary: Diverse peoples coming together to break bread and give thanks.

Erica: Kendall's intrusion here is really revolting. I mean, I can't sit here at the table with her and eat a bite.

David: Why don't we just ignore her?

Kendall: Wonderful. Now that I�m eating for two, I can have my dinner and yours.

Mary: You're pregnant? By whom?

Kendall: Well, my husband is the father, of course. Michael Cambias.

Myrtle: Kendall, do you know what you're doing?

Mary: What an appalling thought.

Greenlee: For once, I agree with you.

Reggie: Will the baby have little horns and a tail?

Bianca: Reggie, shut up.

Maggie: Here, Reggie, eat some bread.

Maitre 'd: Mr. Montgomery, I could offer you a private room.

David: Why, so the bloodletting won't disturb the other diners?

Erica: Really, Jack, this is too much.

Jack: You know what, Robert? We're fine right here.

Erica: Jack, I really don't care where we are. You can't expect Bianca to sit at the same table right next to --

Kendall: Her beloved sister?

Erica: You are related to us only by crime.

Jack: Ooh.

Myrtle: Don't make it worse, Erica.

Greenlee: Right on, Erica.

Erica: Well, you're no prize as a daughter. Just stay out of it.

Mary: Don't talk to my daughter that way.

Erica: Oh, shut up!

Jack: I want you all to calm down right now.

Kendall: Does anyone find it ironic that I'm being shunned and insulted by Erica? After all, everything I learned about love and kindness I learned from my mother.

Erica: Ok, then. I'll show you love and kindness.

Jack: No, wait --

[Monitor beeps]

Juan Pablo: How is he?

Simone: Carlos is getting better, isn't he?

Maria: Yes. He's going to be saying adios to us any day now.

Simone: Ah, that's wonderful. Did you hear that, Carlos?

Carlos: Thank you so much for helping me feel better.

Maria: You are so welcome. Very welcome. But you know what? Your job now is just to get stronger, ok? And to do that, you're going to need a little rest, so we're going to have to give him some space --

Simone: Oh.

Maria: So out.

Simone: All right. I will see you later, handsome.

Maria: Oh, look at you.

Edmund: Well, hello.

Simone: Wow.

Edmund: I figured, you know, since you couldn't make it to Isabella's, Thanksgiving -- Thanksgiving could come to you.

Juan Pablo: This is too kind.

Edmund: Well, actually, it's just the spirit of the holidays.

Simone: What is that heavenly smell?

Maria: Oh, that's Mama's chilis and yams. It's amazing.

Edmund: Actually, it would not be Thanksgiving without them.

Simone: Oh, wow.

Juan Pablo: I have much to be thankful for.

Edmund: I'm glad Carlos is in recovery.

Simone: Mm-hmm.

Juan Pablo: Soon my brother will be safe, thanks to all of you and your kindness.

Maria: Cheers.

Derek: So, do you have any proof that she's lying, and about what?

Ryan: Well, I mean, I know Kendall Hart more than your flatfoots here. I could probably turn up more evidence that they would overlook.

Derek: And stuff it in your own pocket? No thanks, Lavery.

Ryan: Hey, what's your take on the pregnancy?

Derek: What are we talking about here?

Ryan: Ms. Hart, of course.

Derek: So Kendall�s pregnant? Who's the father?

Ryan: A guy named Michael Cambias. And if Kendall can prove it, Justin McCoy�s going to have a hell of a time convincing a jury that they were never married and that she bumped off the proud papa of her little bundle of joy. If I were you guys, I'd knock off here and go enjoy what's left of the holiday.

Erica: Do you need attention so badly that you would destroy all of us just to get it?

Bianca: Mom, stop it. Would you please just stop it.

Jack: Can't we all just put our differences aside for one damn day?

Erica: "Differences"? You want to call them differences? This is an outrage, and she's rubbing our noses in it.

Mary: Erica, I�m sure you can learn to relate to Kendall if you really try. Look at the progress that Greenlee and I have made. Sometimes, we get so involved in our own feelings that we overlook the hand that's held out to us in peace.

Erica: Oh, I'm holding out my hand, Mary, and I�m going to slap you silly if you don't sit down, and I mean very quickly.

Mary: Well, I just mean that Greenlee and I have gotten so close of late.

Jack: Erica, we understand that you're trying to protect Bianca�s feelings.

Erica: Jack, you are acting as if it doesn't even matter. I mean, good God, is protecting your public image more important than protecting your niece?

David: Actually, Bianca hasn't made her feelings known.

Myrtle: Erica, David has a point.

Erica: Don't start with me, Myrtle. I know how my daughter feels.

Kendall: Really? Which one?

Jack: Bianca, do you mind if Kendall joins us?

Bianca: Just don't expect me to sit next to her or hold her hand when we say grace. And please, please don't sit her across from me because I don't want to look at her.

Jack: I think that can be arranged.

Lena: Hey -- hey, you heard what she said. Just keep your distance, ok?

Erica: Bianca just doesn't want to spoil her uncle's Thanksgiving dinner. I mean, why don't we just set a place for Michael Cambias, too?

Jack: Oh, you know what? The hell with this. The hell with -- I wanted to have a nice, quiet Thanksgiving dinner with some family and friends. What the hell was I thinking about with this bunch? You know, if you're so intent on duking it out, go down to the gym, tie on some gloves, and give each other a beating. Pick up some chicken fingers and fries on the way! But before you go, I want you to take a look at that man over there in the corner. You see him right there? That's a police officer, and we are his assignment.

Erica: We're under surveillance?

Jack: Yes, for anything that could be used against any one of us.

Reggie: What'd he do, bug the turkey or something?

Jack: They don't have to bug the turkey. Everybody in this restaurant has heard us tearing each other to pieces. And he's writing it all down.

Myrtle: Look, Jackson, whatever you want to do, we'll all do it.

Jack: Start pretending that you're enjoying Thanksgiving, and do it right now.

Mary: Well, I have nothing to hide, but I�ll be happy to cozy up to protect the rest of you.

Myrtle: Back off, cookie. He's mine.

Jack: Robert -- can we get another chair and a couple more table settings here, please? After all, we're just one big, happy family trying to enjoy the holiday and stay out of jail.

Officer: So this is how the D.A. lives. Not bad.

Second Officer: I don't like going after Montgomery.

First Officer: D.A.s can turn dirty like anybody else.

Third Officer: Move it. I got a family waiting for me.

First Officer: I'll take the general spaces. Stan, you start with Montgomery�s clothes, shoes, brushes, razors, things like that.

Third Officer: And the kid, Reggie -- he's on the top of the list, too.

First Officer: You cover his stuff. And let's be thorough, gentlemen.

Opal: Oh, Lordy, Lordy -- oh, the day that will live in all infamy, the day that you and Adam --

Tad: It's ok, Mama. It's time for your medication. You're going to be just fine.

Justin: We'd also like to hear what you have to say.

Tad: No, no, no, no, no. That's not a very good idea. See, the fact is, she's a couple tacos shy of a combo platter. She probably couldn't tell you what we're having for dinner.

Ruth: Opal, please, drink some water.

Opal: Water? My aunt fanny.

Palmer: She's certifiable, you see. That's why I divorced her.

Opal: I will certify you, you --

Tad: No, no, no, no, no --

Ruth: Now, you drink water! Do you hear me?

Joe: Gentlemen, gentlemen, I'm going to have to ask you to take this outside.

Lt. Perry: Finish what you were going to say.

Tad: No, no, no. That's not a good idea, really. I mean, if you ask her to describe every psychotic episode she's ever had, we'll be here for months. She's convinced she lives next door to a leprechaun. You know, she gets vibrations. She sees auras. She gets radio stations on her bridgework. When we want to change the station, we turn that thing around from her neck -- from the front to the back.

Palmer: Yes. You see, that's sad, but it's true.

Opal: Well, you never complain when I tell you about the stock market or what the ball game scores are.

Tad: Or when the extraterrestrials are going to arrive.

Adam: Gentlemen, weren't we on our way to the porch?

[Opal hums]

Adam: No, no, no, this isn't necessary.

J.R.: Meaning you don't need me?

Adam: No, that's not what I mean.

J.R.: Dad, I got your back.

[Opal hums]

Adam: So, the night Michael Cambias disappeared and presumably was murdered -- perhaps you should write this down in case you'd like to remember it. I was in Canada with my brother Stuart on our annual fishing expedition. I was with Stuart the whole time.

Stuart: That's right. Hi. Happy Thanksgiving. Yeah, we were in Canada together. Right.

Adam: There you have -- corroboration, right there. So thank you, Officer, and Mr. McCoy. Yes, happy Thanksgiving.

Stuart: Adam, aren't you going to tell them the rest?

Justin: Yeah. What about "the rest"?

Lt. Perry: We wouldn't want to have to make another trip back here.

Adam: I've told you everything you need to know.

Stuart: We weren't together the whole time, remember? There was that night you left. That's the rest.

Lt. Perry: So, what was the day that your brother left you?

Stuart: August 28.

Lt. Perry: The 28th of August.

Stuart: Mm-hmm.

Justin: Wow, what a coincidence.

Adam: I wouldn't start preparing the lethal injection quite yet, gentlemen. I can prove I was everywhere I say that I was. I went after an outboard motor -- a part for an outboard motor. You'll have the documentation in the morning. Now, if you don't mind, I've got a whole house full of people waiting for me in there.

Justin: Mr. Chandler, thank you very much. You've been a big help. And we will be checking up on your alibi.

Adam: Yes, of course you will. And you will find that I can't take credit for ridding the world of Michael Cambias. One other thing -- why did you race over here today to harass me about this?

Justin: You think this is harassment?

Lt. Perry: When we get a tip, we act on it, fast.

Adam: You got a tip? Somebody told you that I was involved in the Cambias murder? Who?

Justin: I'm sorry. We can't reveal our sources.

Lt. Perry: Happy Thanksgiving.

Justin: Yeah. Hey, enjoy that bird in there.

Adam: Like to give you a bird.

Stuart: I guess I missed most of the excitement, huh?

Adam: Yeah, well, you managed to stir up a little of your own, Stuart.

Stuart: Yeah, well, we got to always tell the truth, Adam. You know that. Now, I got to find Colby and Petey. They're in the kitchen, right?

J.R.: They were when we came outside.

Stuart: Ok, good, good. I'm going to eat with them, and then we're going to whip up together kind of a Thanksgiving entertainment for after. See you.

Adam: Seems we have an informant in our midst. Any idea who that might be?

J.R.: If you're suggesting that I would do that, I don't operate that way.

Adam: No, I don't think it's your style.

Justin: Because if I was going to bring you down, I wouldn't involve the cops in my dirty work. What fun would that be?

Opal: Yeah, and so then Palmer took the gun and plugged him with it.

Joe: Opal, please.

Ruth: We are never going to get this meal eaten.

Babe: Like "bang, bang, you're dead"?

Palmer: The bird on that platter has more brains than you do.

Jamie: You don't gun someone down for an insult.

Babe: And I thought rich people were only interesting on TV.

Marian: Having fun, darling?

Babe: It's only the best Thanksgiving ever.

Ruth: I'm glad someone's enjoying it.

Adam: Well, Opal, have you been entertaining everyone while I was being interrogated?

Palmer: We should've killed her when we had the chance.

Opal: This with our baby boy in the next room.

Tad: I think he was joking, Mama.

Liza: I think Palmer only half meant that.

Palmer: Well, if I do go to prison, it'll be because of your brainless chatter.

Brooke: Well, you shot him. And then what, you took him to the tailor and had him sewn up?

Opal: He dug the bullet out himself and stitched him up.

Marian: Oh. Well, that was very thoughtful of him.

Liza: I don't think that Palmer would have taken him to the hospital because the doctors would have called the police.

Marian: Yeah, so I have two words for you, my darling -- Zach Grayson. I know all about shootings and stabbings.

Babe: What's this? Zach who?

Liza: Oh, you know, you should drop by her place sometime, and she'll tell you all about it.

Marian: No, no. Please don't. I was just pointing out that despite my youthful appearance, I was not born yesterday.

Adam: Well, let's all eat our meal in peace. Ruth, it looks absolutely delicious.

Ruth: Nice of you to say.

Opal: Yeah, well, before we eat the turkey, I think we got to talk some turkey. Adam, did you drop a dime on my ex? Are they going for reinforcements?

Adam: If I had shared our little contretemps, I assure you that what Palmer and I did has nothing to do with Cambias' murder.

Liza: Well, you were out there long enough.

Brooke: Couldn't help worrying.

Adam: Everything is just fine.

Babe: Were you the only person that they questioned today?

Adam: Well, I have no way of knowing that, do I? Why do you ask?

Babe: I was just thinking that, you know, maybe they did a sweep, you know -- stopping by, asking questions, like you and Erica Kane or whoever, just catching them off-guard with the warm holiday cheer and all. It just doesn't seem fair, does it?

Adam: But then life is so rarely fair, isn't it?

Brooke: Well, that's a cheery Thanksgiving observation.

Joe: Folks, let's enjoy the meal, the feast, and our time together before some other trouble comes knocking at the door.

Opal: Yeah.

Joe: Thank you.

Opal: Can't go to jail with an empty stomach.

Adam: Oh -- oh!

Liza: Are you ok?

Adam: What are you trying to do, kill me?

Ruth: Oh, that's Opal�s --

Opal: Oh, it's my Satan�s succotash. Jalapenos are the secret ingredient.

Adam: I hope we all can survive this evening.

Erica: Eating dinner with Kendall Hart -- that is obscene.

David: No, no, no, no, no. Wait a minute, wait a minute. Now, you listen to me. That police officer is watching every move we make. Now, you don't have to make nice to Kendall --

Erica: Oh, Lord, give me strength.

David: Hey -- come on, my love. Ready? Come on. We can do it.

Reggie: Would you mind cutting that out? I plan on keeping my lunch.

Jack: Ok, Myrtle, would you be so kind as to say grace for us, please?

Myrtle: Oh. Well -- I'll accept the challenge.

Erica: I wish I had a drink.

David: No, you don't. You wish you could slap Kendall and throw her out of here.

Erica: Hmm. Couldn't have said that better myself.

Jack: Ok, if everyone's ready, Myrtle, if you would, please.

Myrtle: Everybody join hands.

Erica: Myrtle, I'm not going to touch Mary Smythe.

Myrtle: Why not?

Erica: I don't want to hold her hand.

Myrtle: Well, then change places with David. I've got to have everyone holding hands so I can say a decent grace!

David: Wait a minute --

Myrtle: Come on!

[All talking at once]

Erica: Why? I have to hold hands --

Myrtle: About to receive, may God --

[All talking at once]

Myrtle: Oh, shut up! Dear God, if ever there was a group that needed thy blessing, it's us.

Derek: All right, people, start in here. Leave no stone left unturned. I'll go up to Boyd Larraby's room. You know the drill -- clothing, shoes, hairbrush, personal items. Now, listen up here. Larraby helped Kendall Hart purchase the meat packing plant that Cambias' body was found chilling in, so he's a major player. All right, let's get started.

Myrtle: And in conclusion, please teach us all to live peacefully together in this wondrous world you've given us.

Reggie: Without Hayward in it.

Jack: Shush.

Myrtle: And if that can't be accomplished in the next few hours, at least let us all leave here in one piece. Amen.

All: Amen.

Jack: No, not for him. He'll have the cider.

Reggie: Why?

Jack: Why? Because I would not want to get busted for underaged drinking, that's why. "Why?"

Lena: Yes, cider sounds good to me, too. Bianca?

Bianca: Oh, yes, thank you. Cider.

Lena: Cider it is for Ms. Montgomery.

Ryan: Greetings, all. Did I miss the soup?

Ryan: Hope I�m not intruding.

Mary: Of course you're not. Pull up a chair right over here by me.

Jack: No, there's always room for one more.

Erica: I'm glad to see you, Ryan.

Kendall: Yes, Erica�s in need of reinforcements.

Erica: I think it's great to see a friendly face.

Greenlee: What brings you to our fun little celebration, Ryan?

Ryan: Well, I didn't want you to think I was a sore loser. For the baby.

Mary: Open it.

Erica: Why?

Ryan: They're green booties with a C embroidered with gold lettering. Nothing too good for the Cambias heir.

Erica: Ryan, what are you doing?

Kendall: Well, them's the breaks, folks. There has to be a winner to give you losers something to shoot for.

Ryan: Hey, Kendall, you know what I forgot to tell you? The cops were at your place earlier with a search warrant. Yeah, they actually turned the place inside out. It's a good thing that you have nothing to hide.

Kendall: Isn't it?

Ryan: I may be a good loser, Kendall, but I�m not a stupid one. I'll have the courts make sure that your baby deserves that C monogram.

Kendall: I'm sorry?

Ryan: Well, you will be if you can't prove that Michael Cambias is the baker of that little bun in your oven. Before you get your mitts on one penny of the Cambias fortune, you and your little whosis have to pass a DNA test.

[Silverware clatters]

Adam: I would like to propose a toast, if I may.

Liza: Oh, do you really have to?

Adam: Yes, I have to. To Joe and Ruth.

Opal: Oh, yeah.

Adam: You've opened your home to me.

Tad: Very pilgrim-like, in honor of the occasion.

Adam: Despite our sometimes shaky relationship over the past years --

Brooke: Nice spin -- "shaky"?

Liza: Please, let him get it over with.

Adam: I salute your generosity, and I want you to know how grateful I am that you've welcomed me into this family gathering. Joe and Ruth.

Liza: Hear, hear.

Ruth: That's very nice.

Joe: Thank you, Adam.

Babe: I'm sorry that the rest of your family couldn't be here.

Ruth: Yes. Well, over the years, we have spread out a bit.

Marian: I'm afraid you're describing my figure after this meal.

Opal: So, tell me, honey, where's Simone?

Tad: I have no idea. How am I supposed to know?

Opal: Well, I thought you two were, you know --

Tad: No, you definitely don't know. As far as Simone is concerned, I guess she just had other plans for today.

Opal: Well, why don't you call her up, invite her to join us for dessert.

Tad: Mama, you've already got Adam and Palmer ready to toss you out of here. If you don't knock it off, I'm going to open the window.

J.R.: Can I propose a toast?

Joe: Yes, of course.

J.R.: To my mom.

Opal: Oh, Dixie would have loved my succotash.

J.R.: Yes, I�m sure she would have.

Tad: I'm sure she would have enjoyed Adam�s reaction to it, that's for sure.

Brooke: Didn't we all.

J.R.: Well, I'm thinking that she's here with us and enjoying this day as much as we are. Happy Thanksgiving, Mom.

Tad: To Dixie.

Opal: To Dixie.

Carlos: I can feed myself.

Simone: No, you need to rest.

Carlos: I'm sorry. I'm sorry you're here with me. I know you want to be with Tad.

Simone: No, no. Tad and I are keeping it casual. Yeah, ok, fine. I'm not doing a very good job about that. He is. I'm not. I actually really am falling for him, Carlos. But if I tell him that, he'll run for the hills. More.

Carlos: Hmm.

Simone: I even had a dream about it. Yeah, and Liza was the wicked witch.

Carlos: He wants you.

Simone: Yeah, but she wants him. I'm sure of it. And if she goes after him, forget it. I'm sunk.

Carlos: Hmm. No way. I'm putting my money on you.

Simone: Yeah. Well, that's just because you want me to quit feeding you soup.

Carlos: It's true. It's true. You'll take her out.

Simone: Yeah, well, I'm hoping I won't have to. Now, open up.

Carlos: No.

Palmer: Dixie was a remarkable woman.

Tad: She was one of a kind.

J.R.: I think this next toast would make her very happy as well. To my wife --

Babe: So sweet.

J.R.: And our child-to-be.

Opal: Your -- your child-to-be?

J.R.: Babe's six weeks pregnant.

Brooke: Six weeks?

Tad: Didn't the doctors say nine weeks at the hospital?

Adam: Six? Really, six?

Tad: Wait -- which would make it 10 weeks, right?

Opal: Well, isn't that wonderful.

Babe: J.R., You silly -- he's just so excited. It's 10 weeks, not six, remember? 10 weeks.

J.R.: Who cares?

Ruth: Well, it's an easy mistake to make.

Jamie: I'm sorry, Grandma.

Ruth: It's all right, dear. Don't worry about it.

J.R.: It's not like a few weeks makes that big of a difference.

Babe: I know, but sometimes people get nervous if they hear too soon.

J.R.: Yeah, seven, six, two, five -- whatever. We're pregnant.

Liza: That's right, and that rates a toast. Congratulations.

Opal: Congrats.

Brooke: Hear, hear.

Joe: And look at that. Who knew there was still life in the old bird?

Opal: What, are we talking about Palmer again?

Palmer: Keep it up, Opal. Be the first hairdresser in space.

Opal: Don't you even know a joke when you hear one? Well, who's going to make the first toast to the newest Chandler? Adam?

J.R.: I don't know, Dad. Can you handle that?

Adam: Yes, I think I can manage one more.

Tad: James?

Joe: Son --

Tad: I --

Joe: I'll go, I�ll go.

J.R.: What's with James?

Brooke: I think he just wanted some air.

Tad: Ah, he's -- he's probably just, you know, upset, embarrassed because of what happened with the turkey.

Joe: We'll be back in a few minutes.

Opal: He doesn't need to be embarrassed. I mean, we're all family here.

Joe: We'll be back.

Tad: Are -- are you sure? This might be tough.

Joe: Yeah, well, you gave me plenty of practice. We'll be fine.

Joe: Your dad wanted to come out, but I stopped him. If you'd rather --

Jamie: No, that's ok. You can stay.

Joe: Think you'll find any answers in here? You know, there's a little known doctor/grandson confidentiality law.

Jamie: Is it ever all right to lie to somebody you love?

Bianca: Excuse me, please.

Erica: So, Mary, why aren't you tormenting Adam today?

Mary: You mean the way you're tormenting David?

Erica: Any complaints, darling?

David: Not a one.

Mary: Oh, forgive me. I mean the way you're tormenting Jack.

Erica: Well, at least I was invited by him.

Mary: You know, I suggest that you just --

Jack: You know what? You're both tormenting me, and I would appreciate it if you would both just shush.

Mary: Well, she's baiting me.

Greenlee: Hard to believe you liked her enough to produce little old me, huh?

David: What's the matter, Jack? You have a headache? You know, I could always write you a prescription -- oh, that's right. You already know how to get drugs without a prescription, don't you?

Jack: What the hell is that supposed to mean?

David: I'm almost embarrassed to admit that I didn't figure out that you planted the heroin in Michael�s condo.

Jack: I planted it? That's ridiculous.

David: According to my sources, the police are looking to interview you about a missing item from the evidence room at the police station?

Jack: Well, you know what? I think I'll go with Colonel Mustard in the library with a butter knife.

David: No, no, no, no, no, no. Look, don't get me wrong. I'm not knocking you. In fact, I salute you.

Greenlee: Why would the police think that Jack planted the drugs?

David: Well, to give the impression that Michael�s death was drug-related -- and, of course, to take the heat off himself.

Greenlee: But they can't think that you were involved with the murder. I gave you an alibi.

Mary: Darling, you're such a good daughter.

Erica: Oh, yes, you're the perfect daughter. You're so perfect that your noble father couldn't dream of dragging your precious self into this messy murder case.

Mary: Jack, I think, was very sweet and considerate.

Greenlee: I swore to them that you were with me all night.

Jack: Yes, and I told them that you weren't remembering clearly.

Erica: Yeah, never mind all the other terrible things that Greenlee has done. She mustn't commit perjury.

David: Ladies, please. Look, why don't we all raise a toast to our surprisingly resourceful D.A., planting heroin. One question, Jack -- did you also shoot the little bastard?

Erica: David, that's enough.

Mary: That's an insane idea.

Myrtle: Well, I knew today wouldn't be boring.

Greenlee: You're out of line, David.

Jack: You know what? You say anything you want, Hayward, but the fact of the matter is the police are breathing down your neck, too.

Officer: You really think "Doctor Wayward" whacked the rapist?

Derek: I suspect everybody on our board until I find what I�m looking for. You guys finished in there?

Officer: I wish.

Second officer: Yeah, Happy Thanksgiving.

Derek: I hear you.

Bianca: Do they know that you followed me in here?

Kendall: No. They were hoping I had the sense to leave.

Bianca: Kendall, this isn't working.

Kendall: Yes, yes, Bianca, it is. Can't you tell by all the venom Erica�s throwing my way?

Bianca: Ok, fine, then. It's working too well. I can't watch you -- I can't watch your life go up in flames because you're trying to protect me.

Kendall: Bianca, I'm sorry. We don't have a choice.

Bianca: Yeah -- like hell we don't. We do have a choice. I can walk right in there. I can tell them that I�m the one carrying Michael�s child.

Kendall: No --

Maria: Hi.

Simone: Oh, he just fell asleep.

Maria: Ok. We need to take a little blood.

Simone: Ok. Oh, poor Carlos, the human pincushion.

Maria: But Rick is one of our best.

Simone: Good.

Rick: He won't feel a thing.

Simone: He better not.

[Simone and Maria chuckle]

Maria: We'll leave you.

Simone: Oh, Carlos loved your mother's pumpkin flan.

Maria: Oh, good.

Simone: Yeah. And he was just so happy to get those cards from your kids.

Edmund: What?

Simone: You know this pumpkin thing?

Edmund: Yes.

Simone: It's like really seasonal and everything, but if you're hiding the chocolate from me, I just might have to kill you.

Edmund: Please don't kill me.

Simone: Hmm.

Edmund: Help yourself.

Simone: Don't tell me these are homemade.

Edmund: I won't say that, but then I�d be lying.

Simone: Oh, will Isabella adopt me?

Maria: So, are you going to get a chance to talk to Greenlee before you leave town?

Juan Pablo: No.

Maria: Ok. Is there anything that you would like me to say to Greenlee for you?

Juan Pablo: No, thanks. It's better for Greenlee if I go without a word. She's been hurt enough.

Erica: Are you worried?

David: With my fabulous alibi?

Erica: He's watching.

Reggie: Yo, Davey, you want some gravy?

[Erica screams]

Ryan: Whoa!

Reggie: I spilled it. I'm so sorry.

David: No, you didn't spill it. You did that on purpose!

Jack: I'm sure it was an accident.

Erica: No, it was not, Jack! You've got to stop protecting Reggie. I mean, he has to take the -- the consequences of his behavior, just like the rest of us.

Officer: Have a heart, Lieutenant.

Derek: You think this is a tough assignment?

Officer: It's worse than shopping with my wife. Do you know how many closets full of clothes Erica Kane has?

Derek: Three walk-ins the size of my whole apartment, and you're here until every piece of clothing, every personal item of Miss Kane�s has been inspected. Go ahead.

Officer: This could take weeks.

Kendall: Oh, no, no, you don't, Bianca. Get back here.

Bianca: Kendall, come on. They're ripping you apart.

Kendall: That's why I�m here. Bianca, Erica�s outrage is on your behalf. Wouldn't you feel the same way if you were in her place? Hell, I'd want to rip me to pieces if I were her. And just think about how you feel about your little one and what you're willing to do to give her a shot at a good life, free from all the hell that she'll go through if people find out who her real daddy is.

Bianca: I can't stand it.

Kendall: Yes, you can. You can, and so can I. What's a few insults if it means your baby's going to have a chance at a good life? Now, you know what's going to happen if you go out there and you tell them the truth.

Bianca: Ok, ok, all right, all right. I can stand it if you can.

Kendall: I can. I'm fine. Now, will you just stop wasting your energy worrying about me and let's concentrate on our next challenge -- getting the DNA to prove that I�m having Michael�s baby.

Bianca: All right, well, we're going to make that work.

Kendall: Yes.

Bianca: I know how much I -- we owe you. We're in this all the way together.

Kendall: Yes. Well, I'd better get back to the table so I can disappoint everyone. I didn't leave. I'm just going for a breath of fresh air. And you, you sweet little thing -- don't you worry about anything because your Auntie Kendall and Mommy are going to take care of everything.

Bianca: We're unbeatable.

Kendall: We are.

Maggie: Why did you tell Lena that you were pregnant?

Bianca: Because I thought it was time.

Maggie: Well, what makes you think that you can actually trust her?

Bianca: Maggie, where is this coming from?

Maggie: Think about all of the lying and the double-crossing that she has done.

Bianca: I'm sorry, but a few months ago, didn't you tell me that I should tell her?

Maggie: Yeah, and you found out that you couldn�t.

Bianca: No, I thought I couldn't. I could. Maggie, you don't know Lena the way I do.

Maggie: I know I don't. She's always out for herself. I don't trust her.

Lena: Well, I don't blame you. But Bianca knows that I won't betray her, and you can trust that, too, Maggie.

Maggie: Well, since I can't take back what I just said, I guess we're just going to have to wait and find out, huh?

Lena: Bianca, your mother's getting worried about you. Maybe you should get back to the table.

Maggie: Yeah. Let's go.

Joe: Lying to someone you love -- that's a tough one.

Jamie: Suppose you want to know the who and the why.

Joe: Oh, I think I've run into most of the whys through the years. And the who really doesn't matter. The thing is, once you put a lie out there, it tends to hang around. It's like a credit card -- easy in the short term, but in the long term --

Jamie: What can you buy with a lie?

Joe: An easy way out, or so it seems. Lies buy us time -- until the truth comes out.

Jamie: Not all lies are found out.

Joe: In my experience, they mostly are. Speaking for myself, I just can't take the sleepless nights and watching and wondering when the person you think you were protecting finds out the lie. And the look in Ruth�s face -- it's not worth it.

Jamie: You lied to Grandma Ruth?

Joe: Yes, I did. Once. And I thought I did it for the very best reasons, but when she found out the lie, she felt betrayed. And, of course, she was right. I had -- I should've trusted her to understand. All I -- all I really did, finally, was to hurt her. Is -- is any of this helping?

Jamie: Thanks, Grandpa. I know what I have to do now.


J.R.: You're kidding me. Jamie! My brother, just in time. One final toast. The biggest regret about our marriage --

Babe: Oh -- you have regrets?

J.R.: Just one -- that my brother wasn't able to serve as best man because that's what he is -- the best man and brother anybody could ever have. To Jamie!

All: To Jamie.

Derek: The keys to murder cases take some interesting forms. All right, people. Time to go. Let's do this. Or you had them changed --

Simone: Oh, well, I didn't hear any ouches, so you must have did ok.

Maria: No, Rick is the best. He really is. Have you had anything to eat yet today, anything real to eat?

Rick: Some yogurt and chips, but --

Edmund: Yogurt and chips? It's Thanksgiving. Will you --

Maria: Yeah.

Edmund: How about Isabella's famous yams? All right, take this to go.

Maria: Mmm.

Rick: Thanks. Man, it's too much. Thanks, Mr. Grey, Dr. Grey.

Maria: Happy Thanksgiving. Hey.

Juan Pablo: For the hospital, to say thank you.

Maria: Whoa.

Simone: Wow.

Maria: Thank you. This is magnificent. Ok, well, we just want you to be safe and to be well. That's really all any of us wants. But we'll take this, too. Thank you.

Jamie: Is there anybody you haven't toasted since I've been outside?

J.R.: Oh, we keep it select. We only drink to those who truly deserve it. And when it comes to brother/best friend -- man, you're numero uno, pal.

Jamie: Just let it go, J.R.

J.R.: Oh, man, don't get all humble and dirt-kicking on me.

Jamie: I'm not worthy of a toast.

Opal: Well, now, there's nothing wrong with being a little humble.

J.R.: Humble? Jamie? Since when? Why can't you just accept the compliment and -- I don't know -- toast me back or something?

Jamie: I can't accept it because I don't deserve it. I did wrong by you, J.R.

Erica: Jackson, you always turn a blind eye to whatever Reggie�s doing.

Jack: Now, that's ridiculous, and you know that.

Erica: I'm --

David: What are you doing?

Mary: I'm just trying to help you.

Erica: Yeah, we know what you're trying to do, Mary, and you're disgusting. Greenlee, would you please just put a hold on that desperate mother of yours.

Bianca: What'd I miss?

Reggie: Oh, nothing. Just an accident with the gravy boat --

Erica: Accident? It was not an accident, Reggie. It was an attack.

Reggie: Well, how would you know? You were too busy sucking the air out of Dr. Hayseed's lungs to see anything.

Erica: "Hayseed"?

Jack: All right --

Erica: You see what I�m talking about?

Jack: Just quiet down, everybody. Looks like we have some more guests. Hey. Just in time for pie and coffee.

Derek: I wish that's why we were here.

Jack: What, are you telling me you guys are on duty?

Justin: Sorry, folks. We're not going to take you away from your desserts, but we're here to make an arrest for the murder of Michael Cambias.

>> On the next "All My Children" --

Ryan: It's time you and me had a serious talk about Kendall�s pregnancy.

Adam: J.R. has a right to know what kind of a slut he is married to.

J.R.: I see the way you look at her. Admit it, Jamie. You want my wife.

Man: You've been removed from this case.

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