AMC Transcript Tuesday 11/18/03

All My Children Transcript Tuesday 11/18/03

By Suzanne
Proofread by Gisele

Adam: You make sure you get it to me today. You understand that? It's important. Understand. Yes. All right.

J.R.: Did you call her off?

Adam: Mary has been warned in no uncertain terms -- one more stunt, she's out in the street.

J.R.: I mean it, Dad. If she messes with Babe and me again --

Adam: You and your bride can rest easy. Mary Smythe has sworn to behave herself.

[Music plays]

Brooke: Hey. Hey.

Tad: Anything newsworthy?

Brooke: Oh, wars, pestilence, celebrity sightings -- the usual.

Tad: Yeah, well, try this on for size. J.R. is completely sold on the idea that Mary Smythe planted that cow bracelet to cause trouble.

Brooke: And it did.

Tad: Yeah, for Mary Smythe and Adam. J.R.�s also completely sold on the idea that absolutely nothing happened between Jamie and Babe.

Brooke: Maybe it didn�t. Tad, I want to trust my son.

Tad: So do I. I'm sorry, but, you know, my gut tells me that Jamie�s version of the great cownapping is nothing but a giant load of bull.

Brooke: Oh --

Tad: Bovine reference.

Brooke: Oh. He said that he was with that -- that Kerry whoever --

Tad: Kerry --

Brooke: You know her. You know her. You walked in on them, you said.

Tad: Yeah, in bed together. He also said she had blond hair, but she doesn�t. Thank you.

Brooke: So you think that he used this Kerry whoever as a cover story?

Tad: Yes, and the undercover story is he spent the night with his brother's wife.

Brooke: Oh, God! Tad, if he's sleeping with his brother's wife, how much worse can it get?

Mary: I always heard that breakfast is the most important meal of the day.

Kendall: It's too late for this, or too early or something.

Erica: Well, why don't you put on a pot of coffee, Kendall?

Kendall: Yeah, coffee, croissants, and ambush? No, thank you.

Erica: Ambush? Oh, no, you have me all wrong. I'm here because I just found out about the pregnancy.

[Knock on door]

Bianca: Ryan --

Ryan: Hey, can I come in?

Bianca: I'm sorry, Ryan. I need to go to bed, and you're just going to get me all stressed out again.

Ryan: No, listen, I know I really got in your face yesterday at Michael�s funeral, and I'm sorry.

Bianca: Ok, great. Apology accepted. Please, please --

Ryan: I'm really not here to make things worse. And I swear to you, if you let me in, I�ll prove that to you.

Bianca: I don't think so. Ryan, what do you want from me?

Ryan: I know your secret, Bianca. And I swear to you on Chris' grave that I will keep it.

Jamie: Mary, what the --

Mary: Good morning. You looked so peaceful, it's a sin to wake you. At least I hope it will be.

Jamie: You're incredible. Save the kinky stuff for Adam. I'm not interested.

Mary: Oh, are you still angry at me?

Jamie: You know I hate what you did to J.R., Babe, and me.

Mary: Don't you think I hate myself? I didn't have any choice. I know I behaved shamefully, and I want to help you and Babe and your brother, and it's in my power to do so.

Jamie: Oh, really? What's in the deal for you?

Mary: Your undivided attention.

Jamie: Why, Mrs. Smythe, are you trying to seduce me?

J.R.: Keep Mary Smythe on a choke chain, we'll all be better off.

Adam: I couldn't agree more.

J.R.: Dad, you have something that I want.

Adam: Yeah, name it.

J.R.: I was down at Chandler Enterprises yesterday, try to rally troops. Turns out some files have gone missing.

Adam: J.R., I know you subscribe to the wild idea that Ryan has taken over and is handing you the reins --

J.R.: Not so wild. Actually, you haven't heard. Michael Cambias -- they narrowed down the time of death. Ryan Lavery has a lock on Chandler Enterprises and is handing it over to me. Now, about those files?

Adam: I wouldn't do this for anyone else.

J.R.: Why such a long face, Dad? Isn't this what you always wanted -- your son following in your footsteps, ascending to the throne?

Babe: Long live the King, huh, Pops? Hey, baby.

J.R.: Hey.

Babe: Did you see all the fuss and flash about the Cambias funeral? What a hate-fest.

J.R.: I was there, Babe.

Babe: Oh, right. You had a graveside seat. Everyone lined up to cuss and curse. Seems like everyone wanted this guy dead. It's like Murder on the Pine Valley Express or something. How come you didn't get onboard?

Adam: Maybe I'm saving my murderous impulses for another day.

Bianca: Ryan, I don't know what you think you know, but every secret that I've ever had has already been outed by the tabs.

Ryan: You and Kendall tell each other pretty much everything, right?

Bianca: Yeah, pretty much.

Ryan: In spite of the fact that she married Michael.

Bianca: You know what, Ryan? You're not helping things. Why don't you get to your point?

Ryan: Last night when she dropped the bomb that she was pregnant with Michael�s baby, you were pretty shocked.

Bianca: Well, she was saving that one.

Ryan: Yeah, apparently. I mean, she's claiming to be 11 weeks pregnant -- 11 weeks, and this is news to you. This is bad news?

Bianca: Well, you know what, Ryan? The idea of Kendall carrying Michael�s baby -- it's --

Ryan: Unbelievable? Because that's what you said.

Bianca: I was stunned.

Ryan: Yeah. Even so, you said it would be impossible for her to be carrying Michael�s child. Now, why would you be so sure?

Bianca: I thought she was smarter than that. I thought that she wouldn't have taken the risk.

Ryan: The risk. The risk of giving birth to the heir to the Cambias fortune -- that seems pretty smart to me.

Bianca: You know --

Ryan: I mean, seems like classic Kendall, especially if she knew about the codicil.

Bianca: Ryan, if you and Kendall want to fight World War III over the Cambias empire, do so with my blessing. Just keep me the hell out of it.

Ryan: You think I give a damn about the money, Bianca? I am trying to save Kendall from wrecking her life.

Kendall: You know what, exactly?

Erica: I heard there was a scene between you and Ryan and a sonogram.

Kendall: So Ryan told you that --

Erica: That you are claiming to be pregnant and the father is Michael Cambias. Ryan didn't tell me.

Kendall: Well, then, who told you?

Erica: Never mind. All that matters now is that I�m here to offer my support.

Kendall: Yeah, well, you better get to the point before the walls start bleeding.

Erica: As you know, I was very upset when you tried to recruit Bianca to do battle with you against Ryan in court.

Kendall: Yeah, well, Binky refused.

Erica: And because of the time of death of Michael Cambias, you lost the inheritance, you became desperate, and you came up with this instant heir.

Kendall: I didn't "come up" with anything. It was me, Michael, and the good old egg/sperm combo.

Erica: Kendall, do you really think that claiming to be pregnant by Michael Cambias is going to get you anything except cold stares and bad PR?

Kendall: And the reason you care is?

Erica: Kendall, back away from this lie before it destroys you and any chance we have of healing what's gone wrong.

Kendall: Well, you said that I was beyond forgiveness.

Erica: I said that in anger, and I regret it. I miss you, Kendall. When I think how far we'd come, how proud I was of us, of you, on my wedding day, when I gave you my mother's pearls --

Kendall: The same strand you ripped off my neck and fell into Michael�s grave?

Erica: Give me your hand. Jack found most of them. Do you remember the night of the storm? Do you remember how you got me through that? And after Michael Cambias' hearing, when he was set free, how I needed someone, and you were the one. You were there for me, Kendall.

Kendall: You know what? It's too late to go back. Too much has happened.

Erica: No, it's not too late. It's not too late, Kendall, to make this family work. And you're the one who can lead us down that road. All you have to do is just admit the lie. Tell me the truth, Kendall. You're not pregnant with Michael Cambias' baby.

Kendall: Erica, did it ever occur to you that I might really be pregnant with Michael�s baby?

Erica: I refuse to believe that.

Kendall: Because if it were true, if I really did sleep with Bianca�s rapist for the almighty buck --

Erica: Just stop it, Kendall. Stop this crazy lying.

Kendall: And if God forbid -- God forbid -- that I�m lying for fun or for profit, that would still make me a money-grubbing whore.

Erica: Stop thinking about yourself, about the money, and about besting Ryan.

Kendall: Which would you prefer, Mother? Would you prefer a pregnant Kendall with a pop-out tummy and a chance to inherit a fortune or a lying Kendall who can't tell the truth to save her life?

Erica: What about your sister's life? Have you ever thought about that? Have you thought about what this lie, this obscenity, will do to her? Because she really was impregnated by that rapist. And she chose to terminate the pregnancy because she couldn't bear to even think about carrying that man's child.

Kendall: Oh, yes, yes, that path, that path you were talking about, that road to peace and family love. I forgot that. As far as you're concerned, every road leads to your precious Bianca.

Erica: Bianca is your sister. We're family.

Kendall: What, on alternate Tuesdays, or whenever you and Binks need me to hold your hand?

Erica: Oh, I see. So you're going to continue with this lie about being pregnant by Michael Cambias out of spite as well as greed? You're going to put this lie out there for the press to feed on without any regard to the toll it takes on your sister, on Bianca?

Kendall: Please, God. Please, please, God forbid I cause any undue stress on your precious, little Bianca.

Erica: This is in your hands, Kendall. If Bianca is to have one moment's peace --

Kendall: You would do anything for her, wouldn't you? You would do anything to protect your precious, little Bianca, so much that you would swallow your revulsion and offer to let me back into the family. I can just see you talking to yourself now -- "I could stand anything, even Kendall, to protect Bianca."

Erica: I would die for my daughter.

Kendall: I'm your daughter, too.

Erica: Yes. Yes, you are. And that's why I am begging you, don't choose this insane lie over the family you claim to want so much.

Bianca: If you really cared about Kendall, then you would leave this alone.

Ryan: Oh, and how do I do that? Because if she is pregnant by Cambias, then I�m involved, whether I like it or not.

Bianca: Ok, so what's your plan? Are you going to call the pregnancy police? Is this a game to you? Let's find the baby -- you know what? Kendall and I don't need your help. We can deal with this on our own.

Ryan: Wow. So you and Kendall have really bonded over this baby.

Bianca: I didn't say that, and I don't mean it.

Ryan: Well, wait -- I mean, you just found out about it last night, and it freaked you out.

Bianca: Yeah, I was shocked.

Ryan: And now you're over it. I mean, now you're ready to forgive Kendall for supposedly marrying the man that raped you, and you're going to support her in having his kid?

Bianca: It's her kid, too. Ryan, why are you pushing this?

Ryan: Because last night when I asked you if you were pregnant with Michael�s child, before you could even get a word in, Kendall was all over herself trying to deny it. Now, I think -- I think she made up this whole baby story just to protect you because you don't want anybody to know that you're pregnant with Michael�s child.

Bianca: This conversation is over, ok? Please get out of here.

Ryan: Kendall told me that you were pregnant but that you had it terminated.

Bianca: Kendall told you that?

Ryan: I wasn't supposed to know? Is it true? I mean, did you go through with it, or is that sonogram yours? Are you pregnant with Michael�s child?

Bianca: You know what? I want you to get out of here. I want you to take your sick insinuations and get out of my house --

Ryan: I am -- really, I'm just trying to help you.

Bianca: Well, you're not helping anything, ok, Ryan? So, please, just drop this. All you need to know is that I am not carrying Michael Cambias' baby.

Lena: What the hell are you doing to Bianca? Leave her the hell alone.

Tad: What if what happened between Babe and Jamie�s just a one-time thing? Then maybe it's best to just let, you know, sleeping cows lie.

Brooke: I don't want to cause trouble and stir up things and, you know, drive a wedge between J.R. and Jamie, but, you know, from what I've seen of Babe, she's -- she's like an invitation to an all-night diner.

Tad: She is a tomato. You think Jamie�s still got the hots for her?

Brooke: Can you picture yourself at his age, hormones raging, temperature raising, and -- hello -- Babe walks by.

Tad: I'll talk to him first chance I get.

Brooke: You know what? No time like the present.

Tad: I didn't get my --

Brooke: No! He's home. He's in bed. He's not expecting a surprise attack.

Mary: You know I�m an artist. Seduction is a very fine art.

Jamie: I didn't ask to see your etchings. I just want to know what the deal is.

Mary: You mean if I'm coming on to you?

Jamie: No, not that. If you're not here spying for Adam, then what do you get out of this?

Mary: Satisfaction of a job well done? Your youth, my experience can be very explosive.

Jamie: Now I know you're coming on to me.

Mary: What if I am? Life is too short. We have to gather our rosebuds while we may.

Jamie: I don't know from rosebuds, but this was sure one hell of a wake-up call.

[Mary laughs]

Mary: So, we have a deal?

Jamie: How about you lay out your terms again? And this time, why don't you go nice --

Jamie and Mary: And slow.

Mary: You know, I studied male anatomy in art school -- on and off campus -- and you have the form of a Greek God.

Tad: And you better get your hands off my son before old Zeus decides to smack you in the head with a thunderbolt.

Babe: When J.R. told me you had killer instincts, I thought he meant at the office.

J.R.: Give it up, Dad. You don't scare Babe.

Babe: I was hoping, though, that you could show me around town.

J.R.: I'm sorry, love. I have to drag old Chandler into the 21st century.

Babe: Oh, poo.

J.R.: But, hey, Dad's got nothing to do. Why don't you -- you want to show Babe around, show her some sights?

Babe: What do you say, Pops? Want to give me the tour?

Adam: I'm afraid I�ll have to pass.

Babe: Oh, I guess I'll have to see Pine Valley all by my lonesome. And I will be lonesome without you.

J.R.: You still got that platinum card?

Babe: Charged and ready.

J.R.: Well, spoil yourself. Remember that the magic words are --

J.R. And Babe: Charge it.

J.R.: There you go. Ok. I'll see you.

Adam: You want to tell me what your real plans for the day are, Babe?

Babe: I was kind of hoping that you could point me in the direction of the nearest naval base.

Adam: So you can entertain the troops?

Babe: Oh, come on, Mr. C., Be nice. I didn't let on in front of J.R. that you're a big player in the Cambias murder case, even though you and Erica Kane are dirty up to your elbows.

Adam: He mentioned a platinum card. I assume that was a gift?

Babe: Oh, I'm not a thief, Pops. So, you need anything from town? Guns? Ammo? An alibi? Never mind. I'll surprise you.

Adam: I'll surprise you, Miss. Right out of this family.

Lena: I heard Bianca ask you to leave. Why are you still here?

Bianca: Lena, it's ok. I can handle Ryan.

Lena: No, why should you have to? Listen, Ryan, when I was arrested for trying to poison Michael, you helped me out. You helped me with the police. You got me a lawyer. I'm very grateful, and I will pay you back every penny. But I cannot allow you to use these Gestapo tactics on Bianca.

Ryan: What Gestapo tactics? I'm just trying to get some information.

Lena: Ok, get it somewhere else.

Ryan: Oh, you're throwing me out?

Lena: Yes. And if that means losing your support, too bad. I'm sure Kendall�s offer still stands.

Ryan: Hold on. Let me get this straight for a second. Now I'm the bad guy? And Kendall, who let you rot in prison until Michael�s time of death set you free --

Bianca: Oh, God.

Ryan: Is now, like, your new best friend or something?

Bianca: You don't need to explain anything to him.

Ryan: You're right, because Kendall�s the one that needs to explain. She's claiming to be pregnant with Michael�s child, and we all know, based on the time of death, that that's impossible. I'm really sorry this didn't go better.

Lena: Kendall pregnant with Michael�s child? My God, Bianca, no wonder you're so upset.

Kendall: Were we ever a happy family, Erica?

Erica: Yes, we were. We were the Kane women -- you, me, and Bianca.

Kendall: Yeah, the best 15 seconds of my life.

Erica: And we can get that back. I know that deep in your heart you would never sacrifice Bianca�s peace of mind for any amount of money.

Kendall: Well, it's all for Bianca.

Erica: Yes, it is a mother's instinct to do everything in her power to spare her child pain, and that includes you, too. Listen to me. I spent years making my mother miserable. But no matter how hard I pushed, no matter how far I went or how much I hurt her, she always forgave me. And that's what I want. I want to forgive you, Kendall. I want to forgive you. And I want the three of us -- you, me, and Bianca -- to start over. But the way we can do that is if you give up this lie. Please, there can be no starting over if you take this lie public.

Kendall: Well, you make it sound so simple.

Erica: It is. Listen, I will set up a trust fund for you, exactly the way that Bianca�s father did for her. You will never want for anything. And if it's power that you crave, I can handle that, too. Ryan wants me to head up Enchantment. He wants me to run Enchantment. You will be my right hand. So you will have money, you will have position, and you will have a family to come home to. Now, what more could you possibly want?

[Knock on door]

Ryan: Listen to me, Kendall. I hate the way we left things.

Kendall: Yeah, so do I. So why don't you come on in and hear what I have to say.

Mary: Haven't you ever heard of knocking?

Tad: Ah, gee, I�m sorry. I didn't expect to find you draped all over my son.

Mary: Jamie and I were just discussing --

Tad: I know exactly what you were discussing. And it's a good thing I haven't eaten any breakfast because I'd be throwing up all over you if I had.

Mary: You don't have to be vulgar about it.

Tad: I totally agree. Don't you have any self-respect, or are you just some kind of decrepit vampire who can't help herself from drooling all over young flesh?

Jamie: Dad, allow me. Mary, you come across all hot and heavy, thinking you're going to play me, but it's not going to happen. I just don't consider you a good time. So why don't you find somebody your own age and leave me, J.R., and Babe the hell alone? Whoever's bed you end up in, don't you ever -- and I mean ever -- come around me again.

Brooke: Eileen, this is the best feature work you have ever done, and now I feel totally inferior.

Eileen: Yeah, right, that will be the day.

Brooke: I'm going back and rework my editorial. This is a great job.

Eileen: Thank you. I'll see you back at the office?

Brooke: You certainly will. Oh, and you know what? I wouldn't show that to Edmund because he thinks he's the only Hemingway on the masthead.

[Eileen laughs]

Brooke: All right.

Eileen: See you later.

Babe: Ms. English? Hi, remember me?

Brooke: Oh, it's Brooke. Yes, of course I remember you -- Babe.

Babe: Is it ok if I join you? Or it looks like you're leaving.

Brooke: Ah, no, no, actually, this is -- this is -- this is great. Actually, I've been thinking a lot about you recently.

Babe: Good things, I hope.

Brooke: I think you must've bought out the mall there.

Babe: I did, and my dogs are barking.

Brooke: So, how are you getting along? New husband, new town --

Babe: I can't complain. I mean, I've always dreamed about the big, old mansion on the hill. I just never thought I�d be living in it.

Brooke: Oh, yeah. I remember when Adam and I were married, I�d sort of get lost in that big house.

Babe: That's right. You two were hitched. How'd that go?

Brooke: Oh, marriage to Adam was an experience.

Babe: Oh, that gives you and me a lot in common. Maybe you could give me some pointers on how to get along with my new pops-in-law.

Brooke: "Pops"? You call him that to his face and live to tell about it?

Babe: Mostly we stay out of each other's way.

Brooke: So, you're looking for tips on the care and handling of Adam?

Babe: I think he just outright can't stand me.

Brooke: Well, I don't know if there's anything I can do to change that.

Babe: Well, he used to love you, right? Maybe you could work on him, wear him down, get him to see that I�m just crazy about his son and that I�m the best damn thing that ever happened to that family.

Erica: Help me talk some sense into Kendall. She can't ignore both of us.

Kendall: You two want to gang up on me? Pile it on.

Erica: Ryan, you control the purse strings for Cambias Industries, for the Cambias fortune. I will match whatever you're willing to give Kendall so that she will give up this bogus story about being pregnant by Michael Cambias.

Ryan: Wow, you couldn't wait to spread the good news, huh?

Erica: No, actually, it was Greenlee who warned me about Kendall�s latest scheme to reclaim the inheritance. And thank God she got to me before Kendall had a chance to go public with this farce.

Kendall: You want to kiss up to Greenlee? Pucker up. But she didn't do you any favors, Erica. You didn't get to me in the nick of time. You didn't get to me at all.

Erica: Kendall, think carefully before you reject what it is I'm offering you.

Kendall: I know what's on the table here -- a big, fat bank account and Mommy�s endless love and forgiveness.

Erica: You make that sound like it's nothing.

Kendall: Well, it's not the best you could do. It's not the best I could no. But the Cambias fortune -- now that is good stuff.

Erica: Just watch what you say because you can't take it back.

Kendall: Why would I want to?

Ryan: Kendall, don't do something that you're going to regret.

Kendall: Oh, please, Ryan, your concern's very touching. It really is. But, look, here's the deal. I am pregnant with Michael�s baby. If you can't handle that, it's your problem, not mine.

Erica: Stop this, Kendall. Just stop it right now!

Kendall: Why are you acting so shocked, Erica? You said you knew me better than I knew myself. I knew that there was a clause in Alexander�s will saying that this Cambias brat would be sole heir. Why the hell do you think I went and married the guy? For his money.

Erica: You're just hateful.

Kendall: Yeah, and you hand out forgiveness only on your terms. Oh, well. At least I�ll have Michael�s baby and all of his money to ease my pain. You want to hear about my honeymoon? You want to hear how I let Michael have his way with me and I sat and dreamed about all that money as he was impregnating me?

Ryan: Come on, Kendall. When are you -- just get real. Please, the medical examiner's revised time of death means there was no marriage. There was no honeymoon.

Kendall: That won't stand up in court. But this -- this will -- this nice, little wedding present from Michael, this sweet, little baby. I knew his father was dying, I knew my marriage would tank, so I made sure that I had a nice, little investment for my future -- the baby.

Erica: You say that like you're proud.

Kendall: Oh, to hell with pride. I'm pregnant with Michael�s baby, and I can prove it.

Lena: These are some of the pain du chocolat you like so much. I got enough for Maggie, too.

Bianca: Oh. You're so thoughtful. Maggie's not here. She's in the middle of midterm mania, actually, so she had an early study group. Thank you for remembering my favorites.

Lena: Oh, it's easy. They're my favorites, too. Enjoy.

Bianca: Wait -- no, no, no. You're not leaving already? You just got here.

Lena: Are you sure? I thought you might want to be alone.

Bianca: No, please. Stay for a little while. We'll -- we'll have some of those thingies that you got, and I'll even throw in some OJ to sweeten the deal.

Lena: Ok, if that's what you want.

Bianca: Come on in.

Lena: So, is it true?

Bianca: About Kendall?

Lena: Is she pregnant with Michael�s baby?

Bianca: Kendall's full of surprises.

Lena: Yeah, but is she -- is she pregnant?

Bianca: Yeah. She is. It's unbelievable, but it's true. What are you thinking?

Lena: I'm in shock. What about you?

Bianca: The same. It's, like, from out of nowhere.

Lena: Two sisters made pregnant by the same vile man. You chose to terminate, but I guess Kendall�s going for the money. Do you hate her for that?

Bianca: I couldn't hate Kendall. And I don't think that she's doing it for the money. Maybe she loves her baby.

Lena: Yeah, maybe.

Bianca: Does that change the way you feel about her?

Lena: No. Kendall made the choice that's right for her, just as you did. I mean, I wouldn't have felt any differently if you had kept Michael�s baby.

Bianca: Do you really mean that?

Lena: Bianca, who am I judge anyone? Anyway, at the end of the day, babies are all about love.

Bianca: So you wouldn't have cared if I had decided to take Michael�s baby to term and raise it as my own?

Lena: Bianca, only you know what you lived through and what it is that you need to do to feel safe again in this world. Whatever decision you'd made, I would've supported it with all my heart. I thought you knew that. Here, let me. Bianca, what is it? How can I help you?

Bianca: You can help me by standing by Kendall when the whole town turns against her.

Erica: So, you are going through with this? You are having a baby by the man who raped your sister for money?

Kendall: Yes. Yes. Finally, we connect. Now you know why I�m not taking your very generous offer -- because I don't think you could possibly match what I have coming for the Cambias baby.

Erica: Whatever you settle for, that's completely up to you.

Kendall: Now let's say I do settle for less and I take you up on your offer. What do I do with the brat? Give it up for adoption, just like the old Kane family tradition? Turn my back on it and never look back? I will be damned if I settle for what happened to you.

Erica: You mean the heartache and the misery you've brought into my life?

Kendall: Yeah. So, now that we understand each other, there's no need for the tearful hugs and the nice, sweet family reunion.

Erica: And what about Bianca?

Kendall: Oh, she'll be fine. She's got your DNA. She'll come out on top.

Erica: You got my DNA too, but you're nothing like Bianca.

Kendall: The door's wide open. You can feel free to go.

Kendall: Great. What brand of hell did you come to share with me today?

Ryan: Seems to me like you made your own hell, Kendall. You lost your mother to save your sister.

Mary: Just --

Tad: Shut up and sit down.

Mary: Stop it!

Tad: How dare you send this second-rate Mata Hari to my house to seduce my son.

Mary: At least I win my battles.

Adam: Wait a minute. I don't know what the hell you're talking about.

Mary: I can assure you, it was all perfectly innocent.

Tad: Don't even start. You're about as innocent as a heat-seeking missile. And you -- you claim you want to keep J.R. in this house? Then you do everything you can to lock up little miss good time in your wine cellar. Either that, or you send her off to Bermuda with a cashier's check. Personally, I don't care. But you make damn sure the last thing she wants to do is jump my son.

J.R.: I just got a call from Jamie.

Mary: Mon dieu. [My God].

J.R.: You sent Mary over for a surprise bed check to get some more dirt on Babe?

Adam: I did no such thing.

J.R.: I should've known that you were lying, cutting me and Babe a break. You're not going to stop until you turn me against my wife. Well, you go ahead, Dad. Go right ahead. You take your best shot. We'll see who's left standing.

Babe: Brooke, you more than anyone can get Adam to like me.

Brooke: Babe, I do like you, but I don't feel comfortable getting in the middle of all of this.

Babe: Ok. Don't sell me to Adam, but just please try to stop him from trying to buy me off.

Brooke: Let me guess -- he shoved a check under your nose with a lot of zeroes?

Babe: He tried to buy me out of town and J.R.�s life.

Brooke: Well, that's typical Adam. But I have to tell you, it's tame compared to some of Adam�s stunts.

Babe: You know, I think it's kind of sweet in a weird, twisted, snaky kind of way, how much he loves J.R. and how he's all overprotective.

Brooke: Yeah, well, it's what Adam does in the name of love that you have to watch out for.

Babe: Adam doesn't think that I love his son, but I can prove that I do.

Brooke: Babe, you don't have to prove anything.

Babe: I do if I want your help. Brooke, I'm going to tell you something that I�ve never told another living soul before. I am so glad that I ran into you and we had this little talk. I just feel as light as a feather.

Brooke: Me, too.

Babe: Well, I better fly back to J.R. and the love shack. You have yourself a real good day.

Brooke: Ok. You have a zip-a-dee-do-dah day yourself.

Tad: Well, congratulations. J.R. just declared open war. I tried to warn you, but, as always, you're too stupid to get it.

Adam: Get out of my house. Mind your own son and stay the hell away from mine!

Tad: I can't do that. He's Dixie�s son, too. And I made her a promise, remember? And you -- the next time you're tempted to seduce my son, you better squash it or I'm going to squash you.

Winifred: Mr. Chandler, this just came by messenger.

Adam: Thanks, Winifred.

Mary: Adam, really, this situation with Jamie is -- Tad has blown the whole thing out of proportion.

Adam: I doubt that. I don't need you to help me read Tad Martin.

Mary: I was trying to help you with the Babe situation.

Adam: Well, I may have all the help I need right here.

Mary: Really? What is this?

Adam: Will you leave me alone. You've done enough damage for one morning. Get away.

[Mary growls]

Adam: Don't think for a minute you're off the hook, lady.

Adam: Oh, this is too much. This is perfect. Oh, I'm going to need my old friend Dorian Lord to help me with this.

Babe: Sweet dreams?

Jamie: Babe. Where have you been?

Babe: No place special. No place I�d rather be, except here with you.

Lena: I will stand by Kendall, and you and Maggie and I will all protect her.

Bianca: Ok, I hope so, because once the media hears about this --

Lena: I promise I won't breathe a word about her pregnancy until she's ready to make an announcement.

Bianca: Kendall is lucky to have a friend like you.

Lena: Oh, my God. Erica -- what will this do to her, knowing about Kendall and that you support her decision to keep the baby?

Bianca: I know. It's going to be a massive fallout, but I hope that we can deal with it when the time comes.

Lena: You will, because, you know, you're the bravest woman that I�ve ever known. Ok, this is really time for me to go to work. Thanks for the juice.

Bianca: Oh, of course. Lena, thank you.

Erica: Oh, Ma. These last 12 hours have been torture. I mean, you'll be glad to know that Michael Cambias' body has been moved, but now Kendall has unleashed this new horror on us. I mean, she is just bound and determined to sink her claws into Michael Cambias' fortune, and the rest of us be damned. She doesn't care if her selfishness destroys Bianca. Well, I am not going to let that happen. Kendall has to be stopped. And I'm the only one with the power to do that.

Kendall: Erica's no loss, believe me.

Ryan: Really? What about Bianca? What effect is this lie going to have on her?

Kendall: It's not a lie, it's a baby, and Bianca can deal with it.

Ryan: Really? Because I just came from her place.

Kendall: What? Damn it, Ryan -- why -- when are you just going to leave her alone? Why are you in her face like 24/7? She's been put through enough.

Ryan: You mean compared to what you're going to put her through once you go public with this whole cooked-up story. Or is this part of your misguided plan to protect Bianca and her baby, kind of the old bait and switch, divert attention from her to you?

Kendall: Go to hell. Go to hell, go home, or go anywhere but here.

Ryan: Wait a minute. Kendall, just wait -- when are you going to get real? I mean, we slept together. That changes things.

Kendall: Not for me.

Ryan: Just -- just stop fighting me, Kendall! You realize, I am here to help you whether you want it or not. You understand? I'm trying to save your life. But you have to tell me the truth.

>> On the next "All My Children" --

Ryan: We have found each other again, two people that used to love each other and could love each other again.

Reggie: Sounds like this thing with you and Babe -- it might have been just a one-timer. So why stir everything up?

Babe: I don't think you're going to like what I have to tell you.

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