AMC Transcript Thursday 7/24/03


All My Children Transcript Thursday 7/24/03

Provided By Suzanne
Proofread by Boo

Previously on "All My Children" --

Marian: I want you, Tad.

Tad: You twisted little weasel!

Jack: You're going to be behind bars before long. And in the meantime, you keep your distance from my family.

Michael: Well, you can't exactly watch them every minute, now, can you?

Greenlee: Where are you right now?

Juan Pablo: At the Valley Inn bar.

Greenlee: Don't move. I'll be right there.

Mary's voice: "I wish I had the courage to tell you I'm carrying your baby, Jack."

Man: Can I help you?

Kendall: Damn it.

Greenlee: Oh! Ow!

Kendall: Oh! Did you see him?

Greenlee: You crushed my foot!

Kendall: I have to find him! I have to find him! He's about six feet tall, he's very, very handsome, he's got brown hair, he's Latin, and he's wearing, like, a -- never mind, never mind.

Greenlee: Hey! Hey!

Kendall: What?

Greenlee: You can't hit on this guy.

Liza: May I help you?

Juan Pablo: Finally, the woman I've been waiting to meet.

Erica: Jack.

Opal: Oh, my. They've been stuck together like that for long?

Reggie: Too long. Ok, Erica and Jack, a room. They have rooms for stuff like that. Rooms.

[Opal laughs]

Jack: Did you hear something?

Erica: No, not a thing.

Jack: Good, me either.

Erica: I can't believe it. In less than 24 hours, I'm going to be your wife.

Jack: Yeah.

Reggie: They think they have a lock on happiness or something.

Opal: Mm-hmm.

Erica: Well, we do. Our life's going to be perfect just like Bianca predicted.

Opal: Well, from her lips to god's ears, honey.

Jack: Thank you, opal. How's Bianca doing today?

Erica: She's good. I mean, she had a little rocky start after Lena came by, but she actually recovered by the time I left.

Jack: And she's going to get through this with no problem whatsoever because we are going to see to it.

Erica: And we are going to have a happy, happy life, jack. So is Bianca.

Jack: You said it, sister.

Bianca: Perfect.

[Knock on door]

Guard: Ms. Montgomery, you have a visitor, but I don't see his name on the approved list.

David: It's all right. I'm Dr. David Hayward. Ms. Montgomery is my patient and a friend.

Guard: Ms. Montgomery?

Bianca: Yeah, it's ok. I know him.

David: Yeah, can you tell him to please let me in?

Bianca: Ok. Yes, he's fine. You can let him in. Thank you, Tim.

Tim: Sure.

Bianca: You're not really my doctor, you know.

David: So, I stretched the truth a little. I wanted to check on you. Is that all right?

Bianca: Yeah, of course. But you'll be bored. Everything is fine.

David: Everything except you.

Michael: Hold on a second, now. You're stuck in the desert and there's a stranger there?

Alexander: Well, a young man on a motorcycle was kind enough to stop and offer assistance.

Michael: Well, I think you should get rid of him, dad. He might be a thief or a psychopath.

Alexander: I'm capable of taking care of myself.

Michael: I see. And what's that supposed to mean, that I'm not?

Alexander: Your recent difficulties make me wonder.

Michael: Well, I'm going to make you proud of me, dad. You'll see.

Alexander: Any more trouble with women in pine valley, even the appearance of impropriety, and you are out of chances, Michael.

Michael: I did not do anything wrong.

Alexander: Did you hear me? I will not give you another opportunity to shame our family.

Ryan: Sorry, pal. Nobody can fix this. You're coming with me.

Bianca: David, I don't know what you expected to find, but I'm really ok, and I have tons to do to get ready for this wedding tomorrow.

David: So what's with the guard dog?

Bianca: What, Tim?

David: Yeah.

Bianca: He's protecting my mom.

David: From autograph seekers? Wedding crashers?

Bianca: In case Michael Cambias comes by to harass her.

David: Well, too bad you didn't have your own guard. It would have saved everybody a lot of trouble when you disappeared.

Bianca: Can I get you anything?

David: No, I'm fine. So why did that happen, Bianca? Why did you run off?

Bianca: Well, I didn't. Not like a little kid running away from home or something. I just -- haven't you ever needed some private time, David?

David: Yes, of course I have, now and then.

Bianca: Exactly. And I would have called mom, but she freaked out before I even got a chance to get out of town.

David: Like I freaked out when I found you on the roof.

Bianca: Look, I'm sorry that I scared you, David, really, but it's not even worth talking about. You know, I suggested that we throw rose petals, but mom and Uncle Jack thought it would be really nice to throw bird seed. The rice is bad for the birds.

David: Because the birds eat it, blow up, and die?

Bianca: Uh-huh.

David: You know, that's a lie. Well, a myth, anyway. Go ahead, soak some rice in warm water. See what happens. It might not be the greatest thing for the birds, but they certainly don't die.

Bianca: Then why switch?

David: Lawsuits. Birdseed or rice, I'm sorry, on sidewalks and church steps can be really slippery. But isn't it funny how we choose to believe the bird story?

Bianca: Are you sure that's true?

David: As sure as I am that you're not telling me everything, Bianca. And I'm not going to settle for stories or myths. I'd like you to tell me the truth.

Michael: What the hell do you want?

Aidan: All right, a mate, a pal to pass the time with, drink a few beers, shoot some pool.

Michael: Well, why don't you go stuff your pool cue and your pint. I'm busy, limey.

Opal: I don't know, I'm kind of partial to this one. What do you think?

Reggie: No, no.

Jack: If Opal puts a Diorama of Philadelphia in your hair, the wedding is off. You understand me?

Erica: Well, maybe just the liberty bell.

Jack: If I didn't know you were kidding --

[phone rings]

Jack: Excuse me.

[Erica whimpers]

Jack: I love that sound, but I am going to have to take this. Excuse me, please. Montgomery. Good. Good. I'm glad to hear this. Now, I want this thing taken care of before I say "I do" tomorrow, ok? Right.

Erica: So, what's wrong?

Jack: Oh, nothing, nothing. The bar manager just needs to go over a few details, that's all.

Reggie: You want those rings tomorrow, right?

Jack: Yeah, I'm thinking for the wedding, that'd be a good idea, yeah.

Reggie: Because, you know, you're supposed to coach me with the whole ring thing, you know, ceremony stuff.

Jack: Ok, Reggie, Reggie, listen, listen, listen. Here's the whole ring thing right here.

Reggie: Ok.

Jack: Don't lose them.

[Erica laughs]

Reggie: Look, Jack, you must not be taking this wedding very seriously because I don't know what to do, and you have to show me.

Reggie: That's not funny!

Jack: Listen, listen, listen, listen. You talk to Erica here. She knows everything there is to know about best-manning. She is an experienced, very experienced knot-tier, ok?

Erica: I resent that.

Opal: Yeah, but you can't deny it.

Jack: What she said. Come here. I'll be right back.

Erica: Ok.

Opal: Listen, listen!

Reggie: I don't want to blow this. I don't want to blow it.

Erica: You won't blow this.

Reggie: But I never stood up at a wedding before.

Opal: Oh, now, Reg, it's a piece of cake, really. The priest is going to ask for the rings. You'll have them tucked in your little vest pocket there. You pull them out. Jack's going to put one on her finger, she'll put one on his, and that's all there is to it.

Erica: And you'll do a wonderful job, Reggie.

Opal: Yeah!

Reggie: I can't believe I got to do the thing twice. What do you need a rehearsal for? You got married, like, 100 times, right?

Erica: It was really only nine times, Reggie.

Reggie: Only nine? You must know the whole ceremony by heart.

Mary: Oh, she does. She also recites a mean divorce decree.

Erica: The dining room is closed to the public today, Mary. Please, I'd like you to leave.

Mary: All the flowers and white silk in the world won't hide the truth forever, Erica.

Erica: Mary, the only truth that you need to be concerned about is between you and that underage Frenchman.

Mary: You little bitch.

Reggie: Yeah, one more word from you and I swear I'll throw you out of here myself, you old scag!

Kendall: Oh, great! He probably got away.

Greenlee: Good, because the man you're describing sounds suspiciously like the man I've been seeing. You're after my guy. Why?

Kendall: I'm not, unless you're hot for the wine steward.

Greenlee: The wine steward?

Kendall: Yes, the wine steward. If I don't find him, Erica's going to have my head.

Greenlee: As if.

Kendall: Excuse me, Erica's getting married tomorrow. If the wine that she ordered for the reception hasn't been delivered, then she's going to freak out.

Greenlee: Sounds possible.

Kendall: Yeah, well, since he got away, I might as well go pick up my bridesmaid dress.

Greenlee: It's not being delivered?

Kendall: No, I volunteered to do some errands. See you.

Clerk: Ah, here you are, sir.

Man: Thank you very much.

Greenlee: Excuse me. Have any messages been left for Greenlee Du Pres?

Clerk: No, I don't believe so. Ah, wait a minute. I'm sorry. Here's one.

Greenlee: Thank you.

Clerk: You're welcome.

Juan Pablo's voice: My dear Greenlee, I'm so sorry you have misunderstood my intentions. I did not mean for you to hurry here. I have been called away, but we will see each other again soon. Until then, you have my very warmest regards. Juan Pablo.

Greenlee: We'll see each other again when? Where?

[Tad sings]

Mia: Tad.

[Tad screams]

Mia: I thought you would never finish singing.

Tad: Oh, I'm sorry. Forgive me. I was in the shower. It's what I do. What the hell are you doing in my bedroom?

Mia: I need you.

Tad: Oh, for god's sake, not again. Come here.

Mia: Oh, hey! What are you doing?

Tad: What does it look like?

Mia: Hey!

Tad: I'm taking care of business.

Mia: Tad, I'm not kidding. I need you!

Tad: I'm putting out the trash.

Mia: Tad! What do you think you're doing?

Tad: Let this be a lesson to you, missy!

Mia: Tad!

Singer: He's tad the cad

[pounding on door]

Mia: Tad, let me in!

Tad: Not on your life.

Mia: Come on, Tad, please!

Tad: All right, come out. I know you're in here.

Mia: No, I'm not. I'm not here. You locked me out!

Tad: Not you. Come on, Liza. Stop playing games.

Mia: Tad, open the door!

[Pounding on door]

Tad: If you're not here by the count of three, I'm going to go ballistic on you.

Mia: Tad.

Tad: Where is she?

Mia: Who? I'm alone, Tad.

Tad: Yeah, right. You're wearing a wire.

[Mia laughs]

Mia: I'm ticklish! Stop it!

Tad: Come on. You can tell me. Liza's got us on a horny cam, right?

Mia: Liza?

Tad: Yeah. Look, I may have been born yesterday, but I stayed up all night. I didn't rise for the bait with Marian, so she threw me another little tidbit.

Mia: Oh! What did you just call me?

Tad: Oh, come on. You honestly expect me to believe you're not here to seduce me?

Mia: Tad.

Tad: For Liza, as a joke.

Mia: I am here to find a guy.

Tad: And you expected somebody else to come walking out of my bathroom?

Mia: No. I want to hire you as a private investigator to find this guy that I met at the roadside bar last night.

Tad: A bar pickup?

Mia: No, would you look, listen. This guy is going to make me a partner at fusion if I can find him again.

Tad: Only the other partners can make you a partner.

Mia: I know, but we have this bet going.

Tad: Who's "we"?

Mia: Simone and Kendall and Greenlee and I, and if I can get this guy to act like I'm the only woman in the world that he'll ever love -- oh, and you cannot open your mouth about this one. You got to keep it quiet.

Tad: Oh, keeping in mind your right hook, that shouldn't be a problem. So what happens after we get this barstool Casanova to start, you know, drooling all over you?

Mia: Ok, so then, I win and I'm a partner! So, can you track him down for me?

Tad: I don't know! A physical description would be a nice start.

Mia: Ok. When you find him, you cannot call me at work. You cannot leave a voicemail. You have to come and get me.

Tad: Whom exactly is it that you want me to find?

Mia: Well, he is Latin and he's gorgeous and, oh, with a body to die for. Six feet tall, brown hair, green eyes -- mmm -- and a smile that's just -- just impossible to resist.

Liza: Ok? Yes. Thank you very much.

Juan Pablo: I must say the photographs I've seen don't do you justice. You are more beautiful in person.

Liza: I'm sorry. You just caught me a little off guard.

Juan Pablo: We are able to disarm you by surprise, aren't I, by your beauty.

Liza: Oh, well. Obviously, they lay it on a little thick where you come from.

Juan Pablo: Excuse me?

Liza: Well, Tad sent you, right? I mean, this is payback time.

Juan Pablo: Tad. Is this a person's name?

Liza: This is a weasel's name. Somebody who occasionally takes human form.

Juan Pablo: I'm afraid I don't understand.

Liza: No, you don't, do you? Forgive me. I thought you were helping someone I know play a joke on me.

Juan Pablo: That's not the case. I heard you beat Adam Chandler and took his company. You are a legend.

Liza: I am? Well, that's heady stuff.

Juan Pablo: Being married to him gave you an advantage, yes?

Liza: How do you mean?

Juan Pablo: You were on the inside, so you could accomplish what any man failed to do -- pulling down his empire.

Liza: Well, you've done your homework, haven't you?

Juan Pablo: Business should be pleasure, not work. Don't you agree?

Liza: So, this is business.

Juan Pablo: Yes. This is business. I'm exploring for new investments. Fusion is young, growing -- the perfect fit for me.

Liza: Really?

Juan Pablo: Mm-hmm. Let me convince you over dinner. Say, 9:00 tonight?

Liza: I'll tell you what. Why don't we just cut to the chase and you tell me what you're after.

["Tad the cad" plays]

Tad: Moisturize, hydrate, separate.

Kendall: Don't say no. Just hear me out.

Tad: Is there a camera in here, for god's sake? There's got to be.

Kendall: Ok, could you just please look for it later, because I'm really in a hurry.

Tad: Oh, well, by all means, go ahead. I wasn't doing anything important.

Kendall: Oh, good, good, great. Listen, I have met the most incredible man.

Tad: Yeah, I don't want to brag.

Kendall: What?

Tad: Never mind. Worth a shot.

Kendall: Ok, but listen, I don't know how to reach him.

Tad: And you came to see me.

Kendall: Yeah, well, I don't know his name, but I can describe him for you. He is the most wonderful, sensitive, thoughtful man I have ever met.

Tad: My god, he sounds a lot like me.

Kendall: No. He's gorgeous.

Tad: Right. Ok. May I remind you that it wasn't too long ago that you were all over this soon-to-be-convicted pervert?

Kendall: Oh, this guy couldn't be anything less like Michael Cambias.

Michael: Hi, Claire. Good to see you again.

Claire: Oh, Michael. Good to see you!

Michael: Excellent. How are you?

Claire: I'm good, and you?

Michael: Fantastic, thank you. Please, have a seat. Mimosa?

Claire: Well, thank you.

Michael: Oh, great. Two mimosas, please.

Waiter: Coming right up.

Michael: Thank you.

Claire: I wasn't expecting your call.

Michael: Well, lucky for us that you were able to reschedule your other meeting.

Aidan: Well, I'd say lucky for the both of us, mate. Hi. Aidan Devane.

Claire: Oh. Claire --

Michael: Oh, don't waste your time. Get lost, Devane.

Aidan: Mike always tries to come here when he's with a beautiful woman.

Michael: You know, you weren't invited, so why don't you just clear out.

Aidan: You know, you got to watch it with this one. He's a real forceful guy.

Michael: You're barking up the wrong tree.

Aidan: You don't know who you're drinking with, do you?

Claire: Well, Michael and I have done business for several years now.

Michael: She's right.

Aidan: His reputation as a predator got past you, didn't it?

Michael: You know, I'm asking you to leave, Devane.

Claire: Predator?

Aidan: Yeah, mike's a real shark, and if you're not careful, you could be his next victim.

[Michael laughs]

Aidan: Cheers.

Bianca: You promise?

David: Whatever you say stays with me.

Bianca: Well, mom is afraid that I'm not going to get over my latest breakup.

David: Your latest breakup? Wait a minute.

Bianca: Oh, yeah, I know that I said that everything was just great with Lena, but I didn't want to talk about it. Lena and I -- we just didn't work out, and it was painful and disappointing.

David: Hmm. So that caused you to wind up on the edge of the roof?

Bianca: David, I went out for some air and you startled me. You know, I nearly fell.

David: That ribbon's frayed.

Bianca: Oh, thanks. When you saw me at Myrtle's, I was a mess.

David: And now you're in charge of wedding arrangements.

Bianca: I'm not in charge, but I'm happy to be helping out.

David: So you were just trying to get some distance from everybody.

Bianca: Well, yeah. I mean, I at least needed to get away from Myrtle's. I love her, David, but come on. Living in a boarding house? Everyone is always up in your business. You know, they mean well, but it's about a thousand times worse than living in a small town, and I got to tell you that that was wearing kind of thin, too.

David: Well, it is tough no matter where you live with breakups.

Bianca: Yeah. You know what? I should be getting used to it by now.

David: So, did Lena -- did she call it quits or --

Bianca: No, I did. I loved Lena, but, you know, once you figure out that it's not going to work in the long haul, it's better to put everything behind you, you know, and just, like, move on with life.

David: If you can.

Bianca: Yeah.

David: But when I saw you on the roof the other day, it didn't seem like --

Bianca: Look, David, you caught me on an off day. I was giving in to the drama of it all.

[Door closes]

Kendall: Well, you got a lot done.

David: Yeah, in spite of me. Look, I got to get going. I'm happy to hear that you're doing well.

Bianca: Thank you.

David: If you need anything, you call me, all right?

Bianca: That's very, very sweet, David, and I will.

David: Bye, Kendall.

Kendall: Bye.

David: Hey, it's me. Listen, can you get away for a few minutes? It's about Bianca. I'd like to talk to you. Yeah, look, how about we meet at the Valley Inn lobby in 15 minutes. Is that all right? Great.

Kendall: Well, that's fascinating.

Bianca: Yeah. You know, David says that it's a myth about the birdseed.

Kendall: Huh, just like that story you were feeding him. Talk about a myth. He caught you in a bad time?

Bianca: Yeah, Kendall, he did.

Kendall: Yeah, I guess we all did. I mean, I found you burning your clothes.

Bianca: You know what? I'm busy here. Do you mind?

Kendall: Actually, yeah, I do, Bianca. Now, talk to me!

Bianca: Kendall! Now look what you did!

Kendall: I didn't do anything!

Bianca: Yes, you did! God, you mess everything up with your selfishness and your stupidity! You ruin everything!

Liza: Adam, no! -- Oh --

["tad the cad" plays]

Greenlee: Tad?

Tad: Damn it! What do you want from me? Has privacy gone completely out of style around here, or is it simply that every woman in town has forgotten how to knock on a closed door?

Greenlee: I knocked on the front door. But you didn't answer, and your car was out front, so --

Tad: And you're here because you need me, only not sexually?

Greenlee: What?

Tad: Oh for two.

Greenlee: Oh. I didn't come here if I didn't need you. I met a man --

Tad: Yeah, I know, and he wandered off and you misplaced him, right?

Greenlee: I need you to find him for me.

Tad: Yeah, and he's got nothing to do with your stupid contest and you don't even know his name.

Juan Pablo: Forgive me. You suspect that I am up to no good.

Liza: Well, you just want to discuss business over dinner in the middle of the night. It sounds a little bit like a proposition.

Juan Pablo: It is, but of a completely honest nature. We conduct ourselves differently in my country.

Liza: Which is?

Juan Pablo: Argentina. We prefer to form personal relationships and then to business. You Americans are different. Forgive me. I meant no offense.

Liza: Oh, no. No, forgive me.

Juan Pablo: Will you consider what I said? I would like to share the future with you and Fusion.

Liza: Yes, I will consider it.

Juan Pablo: I forgot. I am certain you will investigate me thoroughly.

Greenlee: Juan Pablo Renato Ruiz De Vasquez.

Tad: Congratulations. I can't believe you got a handle like that.

Greenlee: Before I give you a physical description, I want you to promise me something.

Tad: Don't worry. All information's confidential.

Greenlee: Great. And when you find him --

Tad: Don't call you, don't leave messages -- come see you in person.

Greenlee: Yeah, because I don't want the other Fusion women to know.

Tad: You're a tight-knit group over there, aren't you?

Greenlee: Why would you think that?

Tad: Never mind. Call it a hunch. So, got any other useful tidbits you want to impart about El Guapo?

Greenlee: Hmm. Well, he's about this tall, he's got shoulders about this wide. Ah, these eyes you can get lost in, and he's got this hair. His hair, it's, like, soft, sort of like yours. It's brown with a little bit of highlights in it, like some chestnut. It's like a chestnut color. And --

Reggie: This is what you have to understand -- Jack made his choice and you're not it.

Mary: This doesn't concern you.

Reggie: Yes, it does. We have something very good going on and we don't need you messing that up.

Erica: We certainly don't.

Reggie: You know, but not for nothing. Jack is pretty a fine guy, but there's other men out there. You still have a fighting chance.

Mary: Your opinions do not interest me.

Opal: Yeah, well, how about mine, because frankly, honey, I think you're going way too easy on the girl.

Mary: Yeah, well, some people know their place. You should listen to the help, Opal.

Opal: Reggie isn't help.

Erica: How dare you! Reggie is family -- Jack's and mine.

Mary: You hypocrite. You're the one keeping Jack from his real family.

Erica: This is jack's real family. We are Jack's real family. What are you talking about? We are the family Jack wants. And if you do one thing to get in our way, I swear to you --

Reggie: Look, get out of here before I forget I'm the D.A.'S kid and do something illegal, all right?

Opal: You sit tight, folks. I'll follow and make sure she's gone.

Erica: Hey, Reggie? Don't you pay any attention to that Mary Smythe because she is just so not worth it.

Reggie: Yeah, I know. But did you mean what you said about -- about me being family, or were you just saying that because of Mary?

Erica: How could I possibly just be saying that? I mean, my goodness. You're Jack's foster son, and I'm going to marry Jack. So doesn't that connect us?

Reggie: And you're ok with that?

Erica: You are so important to Jack. You know that?

Reggie: Well, I know Jack takes his responsibilities real serious, but, I mean --

Erica: Reggie, you are not just a responsibility to Jack. Jack really wants you to be his son. And I would never stand in the way of that. I would much rather be part of that.

Reggie: Well, you know, that's cool. That's real cool. But what's up with that Mary character? What -- what's her problem? She can't take a hint? And she said something about Jack's real family?

Erica: Oh, that. You know, the thing is she is so jealous of us because we are getting everything that she wants. See, she's trying to ruin it for us.

Reggie: Well, let me tell you something. If she tries to ruin anything for you, Jackson, Kendall, Bianca, Lily, and me, I'll make her sorry she was ever born.

Erica: You really mean that?

Reggie: Damn straight.

Erica: Ok, then. I want to ask you a favor.

Michael: Oh, Devane, Claire isn't interested in anything you have to say.

Aidan: I'm not running you down, mate. You have my deepest sympathies. I mean, between the Enchantment fiasco and the insider trading scam that you're involved with with Chandler Enterprises, you've had a hell of a rough time, haven't you, mate?

Claire: I've been out of the country.

Aidan: Well, it's a good thing you're back because Mike needs all the chums he can get, because every time a bird ticks him off, he likes to assault them.

Michael: Oh, that's a lie.

Aidan: How many of these girls have actually charged you with rape, Michael?

Michael: No, come on. Claire, let's go.

Claire: Is any of this true?

Michael: Of course not. Let's go.

Aidan: See that guy over there? The handsome man? He's a district attorney. Let's say we ask him?

Claire: I really can't stay. I do have another appointment.

Michael: Yeah, Claire, what -- just hold on.

Kendall: I was wondering how long you could keep quiet about it. Remember when you told me how fed up you were with me whining about how mom always loved you best? Erica would look at you, so proud of something that you'd just done, or I'd see the two of you laughing over something that you just said. And no matter how happy I was, I suddenly felt empty. Now, you have to share Erica's attention and you're burned up about it? Well, tough. I have just as much right to stand up there on the altar with our mother as you do!

Bianca: That's not right. That's funny, Kendall. You have no rights.

Kendall: Well, I am part of this family, too!

Bianca: You are not part of this family! What have you ever contributed, Kendall? What have you ever done for us? You're the one who started this insanity!

Kendall: Wait, I don't know what you're talking about!

Bianca: Guards at the doorway, none of us free to go anywhere, do anything without an armed escort --

Kendall: Ok, that's not my fault.

Bianca: All thanks to you -- oh, yes, it is, Kendall! You know, Michael Cambias is free to go wherever the hell he wants, and we're the ones who are prisoners?

Kendall: I'm not responsible for that!

Bianca: Yes, you are! You set it all in motion, Kendall, all for revenge on mom. You brought him to town. You -- you slept with him, you encouraged him --

Kendall: No, I didn't. So did your precious Lena --

Bianca: You helped him --

Kendall: Which was not my fault!

Bianca: You know what? He had to force her! He blackmailed her! How the hell did he get you into bed, huh, Kendall? Buy you dinner and drinks?

Kendall: Oh, you watch -- you better watch it.

Bianca: "Watch it"?

Kendall: Watch it!

Bianca: "Watch it"?

Kendall: Yes!

Bianca: Watch it, yeah, because you woke up one day and you decided you should do the right thing. You decided to help trap the rat, and when was that? Oh, right -- that was after you found out that he had cheated on you.

Kendall: Ok, but you know what?

Bianca: It is thanks to you --

Kendall: Your pathetic love life is not my fault!

Bianca: That he tried to rape my mother --

Kendall: And me!

Bianca: And then you --

Kendall: And me! He tried to rape me, ok? I am sorry that I ever looked at the man's face, all right?

Bianca: No, no, Kendall! It's not all right! It will never be all right again because if you hadn't welcomed him into your bed, he never would --

[Bianca sobs]

Kendall: What, what? Say it! Bianca, say it! What? If it never would have been for me, Michael never would have what? What? Say it, Bianca!

Maggie: David.

David: Hey.

Maggie: What's going on with Bianca?

David: When was the last time you saw her?

Maggie: She's not missing, is she?

David: No, no, not now, not this time.

Maggie: David, you're scaring me.

David: Maggie, I'm worried about her. I saw Bianca the other day. She was really upset. She was hysterical. And she was so bad that she literally fainted right in front of me. So I took her to the clinic to get checked out. Before we were able to examine her, she disappeared. Do you know where I found her?

Maggie: Where?

David: On the roof of the clinic.

Maggie: Why?

David: She was standing right on the ledge. I mean, she was so tightly wound that I was afraid she was going to hurt herself.

Maggie: Wait, wait. She didn't try to jump, did she?

David: I can't be certain what she was trying to do. But the next thing I hear, she moves out of Myrtle's boarding house.

Maggie: What? I didn't know about this.

David: Yeah. Maggie, she didn't say a word to anyone. I just spoke to her a little while ago. She's at her mother's.

Maggie: How did she seem?

David: Well, she seems like she's determined to convince everybody that she's fine, you know, that this is just a temporary fallout from her breakup with Lena?

Maggie: Wait -- she broke up with Lena? When?

David: You see, I'm not that clear about that, either. Look, that might be the source of all this trouble, and --

Maggie: David, this is really weird because she's my best friend, and, well, I don't know about any of this.

David: Well, now you do.

Maggie: And you want me to go find out what's really going on?

David: If you can't reach out to her, Maggie, who can?

Kendall: Go on. Go on, Bianca. Go on. You've accused me of everything else except global warming and the rotten economy. Come on, tell me -- what other sin of Michael's are you blaming me for? Tell me -- what else did he do to you?

[Bianca screams]

Kendall: Bianca, Bianca, where -- where are you going? Bianca!

[Door closes]

Claire: Michael!

Michael: Look, I just think we should go someplace more private is all, I'm sorry.

Claire: Well, I have a better idea. I'll take my business and leave alone.

Michael: Yep. Ahem. Yeah. You just made yourself a very dangerous enemy, Devane. You're not going to get away with this.

Jack: Yeah, and who's going to stop us, Michael? You?

Tad: Hey, Simone.

Simone: Oh, tad. Oh, thank god. Oh, I so badly --

Tad: Need me. I know.

Simone: Yeah. So, I'm looking for this --

Tad: For a man. Only not for your sexiest man contest. It's for your own twisted little use, right?

Simone: Oh, my gosh. Oh, he is absolutely --

Tad: A dream. Please spare me. Let me tell you, ok? He's about so high, so wide, got a waist like this. Right? Brown hair, flecks of gold in it, green eyes.

Simone: Oh, my god --

Tad: Smile like a commercial. Strong, yet sensitive, only got an accent you can't quite place.

Simone: That's amazing. How do you do that?

Tad: Experience, baby. Experience.

[Simone laughs]

Tad: Think I got my license off the back of a box of cereal?

Simone: Oh, I guess not.

Tad: Only when I find him, you --

Simone: Oh, yeah, you're going to call me.

Tad: No, wrong. No, no, no, no, no. You don't want everybody at work knowing your business, do you?

Simone: Oh, right, right.

Tad: Yeah, so when I find him, I don't call, I don't leave messages. I come see you, personally.

Simone: Oh, that's great!

Tad: And I don't tell anybody.

[Simone laughs]

Tad: Especially not the girls you work with.

Simone: Yeah, yeah. Oh, my gosh! You're amazing! Mmm! Oh!

["Tad the cad" plays]

Simone: Thank you, Tad. Oh! Oh, that's just perfect. Oh, now I'm going to get him! It's just great!

Tad: My keys. I tell you, four crazy women and one hot Latin. Ain't enough of Juan Pablo to go around. This poor guy's going to be drawn and quartered by the time I bring him in.

Man: Hey, Dana, I'm here with Greenlee and Kendall, the dynamic duo otherwise known as the Fusion girls, and I hear you two are now on a nationwide search looking for America's sexiest man.

Greenlee: That's right, we are.

Man: Have there been a tremendous amount of entries so far?

Greenlee: Yeah, we've had thousands. Literally thousands.

Man: Any that you're attracted to?

Kendall: Oh, well, yeah, but I'm not going to tell you the details.

Man: Oh. Great. Guess I'm not getting that info. So, do you think that this is going to make Fusion a huge success?

Kendall: Oh, yeah. Yeah. Our products are flying off the shelves.

Greenlee: Mm-hmm. We're going to blow Enchantment and Erica Kane out of the water.

Man: There you have it, Dana. Back to you in the studio.

[Phone rings]

Greenlee: Yes. Hello?

Mary: Hi, darling. Who were you expecting?

Greenlee: Mother. It's you.

Mary: I know you're busy.

Greenlee: Yeah, you can't even begin to imagine. The voting for our sexiest man contest begins on the 28th, and I'm over my eyebrows in work.

Mary: I'm sure you are, but could you just do me a tiny little favor? I've misplaced something.

Greenlee: Mother, I can't leave the office.

Mary: I know that, but I think I might have dropped it there. It's a letter, and it's terribly important. I had it in my purse.

Greenlee: Can't this wait?

Mary: No. I can't have that letter floating around. I'm not asking you to comb the entire building.

Greenlee: Good thing.

Mary: Could you just look around your desk? I remember having it last time when I was right there.

Greenlee: All right, all right, all right. Hold on.

Erica: So, whenever you see Mary --

Reggie: If she gets within 50 feet of jack, I'm calling you before she gets to 49. And then, you know, if she gets an eyelash closer, and then I'm getting a sack ready and I'm throwing her in your trunk.

Opal: Well, I left her in the lobby. She's calling a cab.

Reggie: Well, you know, if she doesn't leave, I'll get the sack ready, ok?

Michael: You guys think you're pretty clever, don't you?

Aidan: I do. You?

Jack: Yeah, extremely so, actually.

Michael: Oh, pulling off this childish prank.

Aidan: Plenty more where that came from, Cambias.

Jack: The days of you hurting the women of this town are over, Cambias. You follow me?

Michael: Hmm. Well, that's too little too late, counselor. Much too late.

On the next "All My Children" --

Juan Pablo: I was hoping if you are free I could take you out dancing.

Boyd: We are here to drink the condemned man under the table.

Michael: You guys don't think I know who's up to this?

Lena: I want to show you that my commitment to you is real.

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