All My Children Transcript Tuesday 7/22/03
Provided By Suzanne
Proofread by Gisele
>> Previously on "All My Children" --
David: It's not going to work out with us. I want to end it while we can still walk away.
Alfred: I'm the answer to your dreams, ready to offer financial advice and wooing.
Greenlee and Simone: We met our dream men!
Kendall: Get out. Shut up. So did I.
Greenlee: I met mine first.
Simone: No, I did.
Mia: Look, I told you --
Greenlee: How spooky is this.
Simone: That we all find our dream men at the same time? Mm-hmm.
Greenlee: I saw mine first.
Greenlee: SOS. I just looked up, and there he was. Strong hands, soulful eyes.
Kendall: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Another strictly from hunger type. Please.
Greenlee: Ok, miss jealous thing, what rock did your prince slither out from under?
Kendall: Well, I was alone in the park. I was really freaked out, and out of nowhere, this hand reached in and made everything all right.
Greenlee: Was this before or after he flashed you?
Kendall: He was very gentle, very gentle and reassuring. I bet he's some kind of a caregiver, like a philanthropist or a doctor or something.
Greenlee: Or with your luck, a priest.
Simone: Oh, I beat both of you with my guy.
Kendall: Ok, Carlos is old news.
Simone: It's not Carlos, not even close.
Greenlee: All right, so he's the anti-Carlos. Where did you snag this prize?
Simone: Oh, when I was stuck in the freight elevator. Boy, when God opens a door, he really opens a door. This guy -- he's got looks, he's loaded, the whole enchilada. From feast to famine in a heartbeat.
Greenlee: So, Kendall scored herself a do-gooder, and Simone got herself a combo plate. Me? I lucked into a man who's one in a zillion.
Mia: Oh, I'm so sorry. God, I知 really sorry. I just -- I thought you were this skank guy who's been hitting on me all night. Maybe you're just a higher class skank.
Man: I don't blame you for being cautious.
Mia: Look, would you please leave me alone? I have a really wicked left hook.
Man: Hey, babe. I saw you blow off that loser. You want to shake it up a little?
Second man: Apologize to the lady.
First man: Sorry. Jeez!
Second man: Now say goodbye.
First man: Bye.
Second man: Good night?
First man: Good night.
Mia: Look, maybe you didn't get the message, ok? I'm not some damsel in distress. I don't need you or anybody else rescuing me.
Man: I'm sorry.
Mia: Yeah, yeah, you're sorry. You and the white horse you rode in on.
Man: You're angry.
Mia: Yes, I知 angry.
Man: Let it out.
Man: You feel like hitting someone? Come on, go ahead, hit me. I insist, lady. Give me your best shot. Come on.
Liza: Tad --
Tad: Hmm --
Liza: You rock my world.
Tad: Well, I don't want to brag, but it helps when you're familiar with the geography.
Liza: Oh, what do you say we go around the world again? Only this time --
Marian: Oh, Tad --
Tad: Huh --
Marian: Wake up.
Tad: I thought I was dreaming. Whoa!
Marian: Hello, darling.
Tad: Marian, what are you doing in my bed?
Marian: Well, I mean, isn't it obvious? I want you, Tad. I want all of you.
Singer: Tad the Cad.
Anna: David? You didn't hear me drive up?
David: Anna. I didn't expect you to come here. Not after --
Anna: After you said it was over?
David: Did you come here to get the rest of your things?
Anna: No, I came by to make things right between us.
David: It's not going to happen. We can't go back.
Anna: I know that. I don't expect that.
David: So what do you expect, Anna? What's left for us?
Anna: Quite honestly, David, I don't know what is left for us. All I know is that I love you.
David: I love you, too, Anna. I know it, but I can't feel it. Can you? I just -- all I feel right now is just empty. There are days that I feel like I知 -- I知 about to lose my mind, and you've seen it right here when I was making that drug to erase memories. I was going to give it to the Martins. I was going to feed it to myself, and I've had other thoughts, too, you know, thoughts I can't even say out loud.
Anna: Oh, yeah, I have moments like that, too.
David: No. No, not you. Come on, you're too strong, Anna. You do what you have to do. You get up and you face the day.
Anna: There are times when I am so overwhelmed that I lock the door, and I wrap my arms around me just to keep it together. Sometimes I want to squeeze so hard and squeeze the life out of myself so that it's over.
David: Is it always going to be like this?
Anna: I don't know. Oh, God, if this is it, I don't know how I知 going to survive. I need help, too. I need you.
Simone: So, Greenlee, does this artist that beamed down from high have a name?
Greenlee: I said he might be an artist.
Simone: Ok. So this possible Picasso is called?
Greenlee: Yeah, like I壇 tell you anything?
Simone: What, is it really bad? Something like Elmo or Shmendrake?
Greenlee: Whoever it is, I'm not telling you so you can look him up in the phone book and steal him for yourself.
Simone: Oh, please. I do not have to poach men from your dating pool. I have found bliss with my guy, thank you.
Kendall: Oh, and he comes running when you call him what?
Simone: We have little pet names for each other.
Greenlee: Spot? Rover? Old Yeller?
Simone: I'm not telling you, all right? My man by any name would smell as sweet.
Greenlee: What about you, Kendall? Is your guy anonymous?
Kendall: For now. Keeps the mystery alive. Besides, you guys will find out who he is when I win our little bet.
Simone: Sounds to me like we've got ourselves a three-way tie.
Kendall: Well, then we need a tiebreaker.
Greenlee: That's easy. Whoever gets her guy to say "I love you" first wins the bet.
Kendall: Ok, that's fair.
Greenlee: Someone better tell Mia.
Man: Go ahead. Hit me.
Mia: I don't want to hit you.
Man: My face thanks you, but I'm sure you can take on any man.
Mia: I don't take them on. I let them walk all over me, and then they walk out on me, and you know what? I'm really sick and tired of being in the loser's circle.
Man: I am sure that's only in your mind.
Mia: No, it's not in my mind, actually. I'm every guy's favorite squeezy toy. They just play with me and play with me, and then when they're done, they just walk out the door, and if I lose this stupid bet -- no, I should say when I lose this stupid bet, I forfeit three months' pay. So not only am I alone, I'm also stone-cold, freaking broke! And it's just not fair!
Man: Are you looking for these?
Mia: Hand them over.
Marian: Darling, you don't have to be shy with me. Come on, lie down.
Tad: Oh, come on, wake up. Wake up. You can do it.
Marian: This isn't a dream, Tad.
Tad: Oh, the hell it isn稚. This is payback for a double-stuffed, fully loaded meat lovers' special.
Marian: I'm really here, ready and waiting --
Tad: Oh, my God.
Marian: To fulfill your every desire, and a few of my own, as well. Come on back to bed, you bad boy, you, and let's catch up on lost time.
Tad: I'm being tortured by my id. All right, listen, get a grip. All right, listen, wake up, wake up. Ok, listen to me. Ok, whatever I did, I take it back. Whatever I said, whoever I said it to, I didn't mean it, all right? I'll be a good boy. I promise, I値l be a really good boy. Just, whatever you do, make this nightmare stop.
Marian: You don't really want me to go, do you, darling? Don't you remember the good old bad old days? Oh, please, the first time I saw you, the shampoo boy at the Glamorama, oh, my God, you had a body like a mortal sin, and I just loved the way your sensuous, strong fingers massaged my scalp, bringing me to new heights of ecstasy. Those memories are simply burned into my soul, Tad.
Tad: Wait, listen. Ok, what about Stuart?
Tad: Your husband. You know, the guy at home waiting for you in bed.
Marian: What Stuart doesn't know won't hurt him, darling.
Tad: No, no, no, listen, how could you -- how could you live with yourself, knowing you betrayed the most sensitive, the most decent, the most trusting man in the whole world?
Marian: Easily -- I have to have you, Tad, and I have to have you now. I want to feel your arms around me, crushing me to your body so I can hardly breathe, so that nothing, no one exists except our pleasure. No, don't go, darling. Relax. Relax, Tad, just relax. Just relax, darling. Don't you remember what we were like together, you and me, on those steamy, hot summer afternoons?
Tad: Oh, God, make it stop! Please, please, make it stop!
Tad: Marian, would you just get a grip on it long enough to think about Liza, ok?
Marian: About Liza?
Tad: Yeah, you know, 5'8", blonde, about 120.
Marian: Why bring Liza into this, darling?
Tad: Because, you know, once upon a triangle, you and I screwed things up but good.
Marian: Darling, that was ages ago.
Tad: Don't tell me you have forgotten the look on your daughter's face when she caught us in bed. It nearly killed her. It's a miracle she forgave either one of us.
Marian: Tad, listen, why are you bringing up Liza and her feelings right now? Why are you concerned about her?
Tad: Because she's about the best friend I've got, that's why.
Marian: Oh? Is that all she is to you?
Tad: That's enough. You know, as a matter of fact, it's a hell of a lot.
Marian: Yeah, but it's not the same as love, is it, darling?
Tad: No. No. It's not the fire down below that I feel, you know, when you and I are skin to skin, but, hey, what can you do, you know?
Tad: Oh, come on, don't tell me you've forgotten, Marian. I haven稚. The way I used to run my hands through your hair and work us both to a nice, thick, rich lather.
Marian: Oh, Stuart might be waking up. He might need me and --
Tad: The hell with Stuart. Forget about Liza. You're right. It's just you and me and this nice, big, fat bed. What do you say we take the box spring out for a test drive?
Marian: Oh, Tad, please!
Tad: Oh, no, no, Marian, don't beg. Please, let me. Please, please. It's time for your next appointment, Mrs. Colby. What do you say to a nice long shampoo, rinse, and repeat?
Liza: Oh, my God, I'm going to be sick.
Tad: Hold that thought. Aha! You twisted little weasel. Never knew you were the type who liked to watch.
Simone: It's time to shift focus back to our Sexiest Man Contest and the future of Fusion.
Kendall: Yes, we have a lot of videotapes we still have to screen.
Greenlee: We have to determine our 25 finalists.
Simone: Hmm, yes, and pull up some footage for our TV spots.
Kendall: That's right, so we can do the voting on the 28th.
Greenlee: God, I love what we do for a living.
Kendall: Yes, yes.
Greenlee: Simone, play.
Man: Hey, my name is Justin, and my girlfriend thinks I知 the sexiest guy because of the way I look at her.
Second man: Greenlee, I'm not a fantasy. I'm the man you need me to be. You can trust me to bring your inner beauty, your softness, and your strength. I will make room for myself without disturbing or dishonoring your memories of the man who taught you how to love. It is time to love again. Let me into your heart.
Mia: Give me my car keys.
Man: You are too angry to drive. Two ice-cold lemonades, please. One for the lady and one for me.
Mia: The lady does not want a lemonade. The lady does not want to relax. The lady wants her car keys, so she can get the hell out of here and away from guys who think they call all the shots.
Man: I have no desire to take you to my cave, ok?
Mia: Oh, please. You men are all from the Jurassic.
Man: Not this man, and perhaps it's time for you to raise your expectations.
Mia: Oh. Oh, yeah. Please, look around, ok?
Man: I prefer to look at you, and ask you to trust me.
Mia: Look, I don't really know what you want from me --
Man: I just want to talk to you, get to know each other. When you are calm, you take your car, you'll leave. I'll take my way. If I知 lucky, we'll met again. Hmm? Is that so horrible?
Man: So, that bet -- tell me about it.
Mia: My friends and I are having this contest for our cosmetics company. We're trying to find the sexiest guy in America. It's just this huge ad campaign that we're doing, and somewhere along the line, we decided to make it personal. You know, like, we wanted to find sexy guys for ourselves.
Kendall: All right, so what's next?
Simone: We have got ourselves a surfer dude.
Kendall: Hmm. Oh, my God, he is hot.
Man: Yo, this is Ray, and to me, sexy is being in sync with the person you love. Like when you're out on the blue crush, catching the perfect ride. Whoa.
Second man: Simone, my wild, untamed orchid, you thrive on heat. When the conditions are right, you explode in a riot of exotic colors and perfumes. I am here to bring you to full blossom. I will tend to you, watch over you. Safe in my garden, my arms, where love is never out of season.
Greenlee: Hey! You're blocking the screen.
Simone: Is it just me, or is it hot in here?
Kendall: Oh, this one is a keeper.
Simone: Yeah, you can say that again.
Man: Kendall, the sight of you that night in the park searching for something, it's the story of your life. My sweet one, your search is over. I'm your perfect love. Let me love you, and I will be yours forever.
Kendall: I got to find him.
Kendall: I just remembered that I have an appointment. So I値l see you guys.
Simone: Yeah, you know what? Me, too. What she said. Yeah, ok.
Greenlee: Yeah, hi, is this the Valley Inn? Yeah, I'm looking for somebody. I don't know his name. It's a man. He's about six feet tall, brown hair, green eyes. He's built like an Adonis. Do you have anyone fitting that description?
Mia: And so if I win the contest -- fat chance of that -- but if I win, I値l be a Fusion stockholder. You know, I'll be, like, a real, honest to goodness player.
Man: I'm sure you will win. You need confidence.
Mia: No. No, I need more than confidence. I need -- I need a man.
Man: Is something wrong?
Mia: I was just wondering -- if you're not busy later, would you mind falling madly in love with me?
Tad: You are so busted.
Liza: Hi, Tad. Mother, nice peignoir.
Tad: Yeah, you should know, you picked it out.
Tad: Don't you even try to deny it.
Marian: I had you going there for quite a while, didn't I, darling? You turned the color of ripe Camembert, Tad.
Liza: Oh, come on, you have to admit, we had you going for a while.
Marian: And shame on you, turning that little prank back on me.
Tad: You loved it.
Marian: I did no such thing.
Tad: Oh, you still got the hots for your little shampoo boy.
Liza: Oh, would you please? Don't even go there.
Tad: You started it.
Marian: And I'm going to finish it, ok, darlings? I am going home to Stuart.
Tad: What are you going to do to explain the outfit?
Marian: I'm going to change in the back seat.
Tad: Wouldn't be the first time.
Marian: You should know. Listen, Liza, I want Stuart never to find out about this, ever.
Liza: Ok, mother, me and you and, you know --
Marian: Ok, I hope you can be discreet for this one time, Tad?
Tad: Like you read about.
Marian: Bye-bye. Mission accomplished, darling. Oh, and don't do anything I wouldn't do.
Tad: Shut up!
Liza: Oh, come on!
Tad: I know what this is.
Liza: I got you. You have to admit it.
Tad: No, this is payback for me nailing you with Alfred Vanderpoole.
Liza: Alfred Vanderpoole, the nerdy banker of my dreams.
Tad: Yeah, ok, I admit, it was a low blow.
Liza: The lowest of low.
Tad: But our bet stipulated that we would find one another --
Liza: No, no, our bet stipulated we would find the perfect person. This excluded high school nerdy rejects.
Tad: What about oversexed real estate mavens? What is that?
Liza: Ok, fine, we're even. I actually think I知 a little bit more even than you are because the look on your face when my mother climbed into bed next to you --
Tad: It's not funny.
Liza: Yes, it is.
Tad: My life flashed before my eyes, and you don't want to know what I was seeing.
Liza: Oh, I wish I could have had a camera because your expression was priceless.
Tad: Well, it was pretty similar to the one you had on your face when Alfred handed you your little teddy bear checks.
Liza: Unlimited checking and the all-you-can-eat buffet.
Tad: Hey, sounds like a dream date to me.
Liza: Oh. I do think that you won.
Tad: Oh, shut up.
Liza: The three-point dismount off the bed --
Tad: I know, I know. What about you, pretending to go to postal just so Alfred would think you're some kind of nut bag?
Liza: Well, I got to tell you, that's what happens when I forget my meds. I go into a minor chemical breakdown.
Tad: Oh. Poor Marian.
Liza: Poor Alfred.
Tad: Poor us.
Man: So, you want me to be your perfect man?
Mia: Yeah, uh-huh. I want you to pose as my perfect man.
Man: That's an amazing offer.
Mia: It's great! You're just -- this is weird. You're this perfect stranger. You come here out of the blue. I don't know where you're from. I don't know -- who are you? What do you do?
Man: I'm from New Jersey.
Mia: Who are you, really?
Man: I'm a stranger getting to know Pine Valley.
Mia: So, what do you do?
Mia: Yeah, like, what do you do for a living?
Man: Whatever is required at the moment. At this moment, you need me to be your perfect man, right?
Mia: Is that as outrageous as it sounds?
Man: How do you want the performance to be? I mean, we can go through the motions, or we can improvise and see what would happen.
Anna: I need you.
[Music plays] You love him.
Man: May I help you?
Kendall: Oh, yes. Hi. Is Hughie on shift?
Man: This is his day off. If I can be of some service?
Kendall: Well, I just bet you can, Victor. See, I used to live here, and I'm looking for someone that might be registered as a guest.
Victor: Did you just call a few minutes ago?
Kendall: No. Anyway, he's a very distinguished Latin gentleman, sort of Antonio Banderas type.
Victor: Look, as I explained to you before, I知 not allowed to give out information about our guests.
Kendall: I told you, I didn't call.
Victor: Excuse me. Mm-hmm? Hold on, I値l check. Excuse me. Excuse me. No, what do you think you're doing? The information in this guest registry is confidential.
Simone: Well, I'm not trying to steal any state secrets. Look, I'm looking for a man. I don't know his name, but he has money and class, and since this is one of the finest hotels in the city --
Victor: You're in cahoots with that other one, aren't you?
Simone: In ca-what?
Victor: That other woman who was just here, pumping me for information about our guests.
Simone: Look, I'm strictly a solo act, ok? All I need is a little basic information.
Victor: Well, I can't help you, ok? And if that's a problem for you, maybe I should call house security.
Simone: No, no, you don't have to get your little badge in a bunch, Victor, buddy. Ok.
Kendall: Aha! I caught you in the act.
Simone: Kendall, what are you --
Kendall: You're here sniffing out your little man, and you don't even know his name.
Simone: Forget about me. What about you, lurking around a hotel lobby? Ha!
Kendall: I'm taking care of last-minute wedding stuff for Erica.
Simone: Oh, you mean when you're not working the desk clerk for an ID. On an anonymous hotel guest? Cop to it, Kendall, I'm on to you.
Kendall: No, you're not.
Simone: Yes, I am.
Kendall: Excuse me --
Greenlee: Hey, hey! What are you guys doing here?
Simone: What about you?
Kendall: Yeah, what, did you follow us here?
Greenlee: Don't be stupid. I came here to meet my mother for a nightcap.
Simone: Please. You and mumsie going to bond over a snifter?
Kendall: Yeah, you'd rather gargle with arsenic.
Victor: Oh, Mrs. du Pres? It's hotel policy never to accept gratuities or to give out information leading to the identity of any of our guests.
Greenlee: Um -- I think you have me confused --
Victor: No, the confusion ends here. I would advise all three of you ladies to end your search for this mystery man before it lands you all in the pokey.
Greenlee: My horoscope said I壇 come into money.
Kendall: All right, all right, guys, you know what? It's time -- we have to have a group meeting. It's time, let's go.
Simone: Ok, so, we're all searching for our perfect man, right?
Greenlee: When I met my guy, I was so focused on his godly perfection, I didn't get his name.
Simone: Well, what's in a name when he's got those velveteen eyes?
Kendall: Yeah, and a smile that lights up the world.
Greenlee: You mean --
Kendall: We're clueless, just like you.
Simone: Yeah, we've all struck gold in the man of our dreams department.
Greenlee: We just don't know where the hell it's buried.
Kendall: Imagine all of us finding our guy at the same time.
Simone: Well, not all of us.
Kendall: Best three out of four.
Simone: That's true.
Greenlee: Right. Mia's still man hungry.
Man: Are you convinced I can play your man?
Mia: Oh, well, sure, yeah, but it's not me that you have to convince.
Man: I have to convince your business partners, right? We will invite them for an intimate dinner. I will make a toast, dedicating myself to the woman who has captivated my heart and soul. Do you think that will reel them in?
Mia: Hook, line, and ever-loving sinker.
Tad: If I tell you something, I want you to believe me.
Tad: I'm serious. I really hope you find the man of your dreams.
Liza: And what kind of guy would that be?
Tad: Somebody smart enough to get you on the first try.
Liza: I am not that kind of girl.
Tad: Stop. You know what I mean. I hope it's somebody that is going to appreciate your intelligence, your courage, your independence, you know. Somebody who's willing to meet you on your own terms.
Liza: And those terms are --
Tad: Never let them see you cry. Laugh when you can, and always be prepared to compromise, no matter how stupid, stubborn, or pigheaded you get because you're worth the godforsaken aggravation, and if he doesn't get that, then the hell with him. You know, to hell with all of them. Whoever he is has got to see what a truly loving person you are.
Liza: You know what you deserve?
Tad: Yeah, a spanking from a Swedish flight attendant.
Liza: Oh, stop it. You deserve the best. Really, a woman who's going to suffer through your insufferable jokes and your ego and at the end of the day love you just the way you are.
Tad: And how's that?
Liza: Well, I mean, you aren't perfect, I hate to tell you that, but you do try to do what's right, and that's honorable; and, you know, one day she's going to come into your life, you're going to know that she's the one, because it'll be like someone coming back into your life, like an old friend coming home.
Tad: Where's this old friend going to come from?
Tad: What gives?
Liza: Oh, you know, Tad, I don't know when or where you're going to find your soul mate, but I know you will. I know you will. I have -- I believe with all my heart that you will.
Anna: Good night.
Simone: Ok, so this is what we get when we keep secrets.
Kendall: Yeah, it turns out our mystery guys really are mystery guys.
Greenlee: As in, "Who the hell are they and how do we track them down?"
Simone: You know, maybe we should pool our resources and help each other.
Greenlee: Nice try, miss "grab the first available guy and stash him your meat locker." I'll find my man on my own, thank you.
Kendall: There's safety in numbers.
Greenlee: Not with the man-snorfing Ms. Torres on the prowl. I will reconnect with my perfect someone and win our bet.
Kendall: After me.
Simone: In your dreams.
Greenlee: Let the race begin. On your marks, get set --
Kendall: Well, where the hell is the starting line?
Mia: Ok, so, I really want to introduce you to my Fusion friends ASAP, but, well, I知 a week away from payday, so --
Man: You don't have to pay me. I want to do this.
Mia: For nothing?
Man: It's not going to be for nothing. I will be spending time with you.
Greenlee: To the perfect man -- my man -- bringing home the gold.
Simone: Well, back up to the bronze, babe, because my guy and I have this bet sealed and delivered.
Kendall: Uh-uh. Well, this is to me and my dream man stepping into the winner's circle. To him, whoever he is.
Man: To us and victory.
>> On the next "All My Children" --
Erica: If you stop seeing Bianca for good, I will pay you $3 million.
Michael: If you drop the charges, I promise you you will never see me again.
Kendall: No, Jack, you can't do that.
Greenlee: Where are you right now?
Man: At the Valley Inn bar.
Greenlee: Don't move. I'll be right there.
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