All My Children Transcript Wednesday 5/21/03
Provided By Suzanne
Proofread by Alicia
Tad: Did you see the way she looked at me?
Ruth: Why not? You're a total babe.
Henry: Marry me.
Maria: But please, I know we can make some sort of a deal here!
Maddie: Mommy! Mommy!
Evan: There ain't no deal! Shut up! Shut up!
Mia: Ugh, I should just go home. I feel completely useless here, worrying about Edmund.
Liza: You know, being at home alone, worrying, is going to be worse. I mean, going over our financials, however, isn't going to be exhilarating. I think Fusion's in big trouble.
Tad: Would that be spelled S-I-M-O-N-E?
Liza: Please don't tell me. She's not in prison or anything?
Tad: God forbid, no. I don't know. I was just in the neighborhood and thought I would come and ask if you wanted me to follow up on Michael Cambias.
Liza: I don't know, I think he's been successfully throttled by his father.
Mia: And Erica.
Tad: Now, wait a minute. No you don't. I worked long and hard on this thing, ok? You got to prosecute. I mean, he engineered that whole fraudulent lawsuit --
Mia: Listen, can we just not discuss legal issues until Simone is safely back here without an arrest warrant taped to her chest?
Tad: There's an idea. Ok, fine. Got any magazines?
Liza: You're going to wait for Simone?
Tad: No. You know, I'm just visiting, you know. Entertain me.
Liza: Why are you really here?
Tad: I told you, I'm just being neighborly, you know. Matter of fact, I was just going to ask Carlos if he wants some help with the air conditioner.
Liza: Oh, no, no. You know what, I think there's more than enough hot air here. You're very transparent.
Liza: Yeah. Simone's got you all puffed up, using you as an example of some kind of sexy.
Tad: Oh, please. Does this outfit make me look fat?
Simone: The goddesses of the Fusion tiki hut have returned triumphant!
Liza: Really? This is going to fly?
Tad: You found this guy already?
Mia: God, we really need this campaign to kick our sales way up.
Simone: Oh, we are so going to be recognized the world over for this one.
Carlos: So you're getting men to sell your makeup?
Tad: Go figure.
Simone: Tell them, tell them.
Kendall: Ok, ok, ok.
Greenlee: She's even made a believer out of me.
Mia: So you found our guy? The man who's going to be the sexiest man in America?
Kendall: We found lots and lots of guys.
Greenlee: Yeah, and while they were lining up for us, every woman on the beach followed them and checked out our products.
Tad: Wish I had been there.
Simone: Well, you can relive it with us.
Liza: Can we see the tape now?
Simone: Yes, yes, yes!
Kendall: We were going to invite the guys back to the office, but --
Greenlee: But it would've been chaos.
Simone: Ah, well, I've cut together some divine chaos for your entertainment value. Wait till you see it.
Maggie: You think marriage is going to solve our problems?
Henry: In a way, yes. Ok, we can forget all about the exam and who cheated. I'll take care of you. I'll support you.
Maggie: Oh, I get it. You get my dream. You become a doctor, and I get to be married to the dream.
Henry: You don't have to answer right now.
Maria: Oh, my God! Maddie, can you hear me?
Evan: The kid's going to drown!
Maria: Maddie! Hang on, baby! Oh, my God! Let go!
Maddie: Mommy, help!
Maria: Maddie! Maddie, can you hear me?
Aidan: Let her go!
Aidan: Come here!
Simone: Ok, wait. Ok, ok, I got it now. Ok, everybody settle in, settle down.
Tad: Got any popcorn?
[rock music plays]
Greenlee's voice: We are looking for the sexiest man in America.
Kendall: Hmm. Who's my next victim?
Greenlee: We need a model for our ad campaign.
Man: I would love to.
Second man: Are you the sexiest man in America?
Greenlee: Yeah! Look at this group of sexy guys.
Greenlee: We still need a confident man. Can we find him?
[cheers and applause]
Simone: Oh, I love my job! So, what do you think?
Tad: I think I can't believe you got paid for that.
Liza: The guys look fabulous.
Tad: Liza, can any of them spell "Fusion"? Looked like an episode of "Baywatch."
Liza: Honestly, they looked good to me.
Tad: Yeah, I'll bet. Turned into a mating call. Where's a garden hose when you need one?
Mia: I think it's brilliant!
Greenlee: We have stuck gold.
Kendall: This is going to bring Fusion right to the top.
Maggie: It is not the 1940s, Henry. I am studying to have "M.D." after my name, not "M-R-S" in front of it. I have ambition and I have goals.
Henry: So do I.
Maggie: Yeah, God knows, so does your mother. I'm the first person you asked about this, aren't I?
Henry: What do you mean?
Maggie: Well, you didn't go to my cousin David and offer him a few goats in exchange for my hand in marriage, did you?
Henry: I'm trying to save us here.
Maggie: No, you're trying to keep the truth from your mother.
Henry: Yeah, that's a part of it. Look, maybe you see her as some sort of stereotype, all right? The dragon lady sitting at the all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet.
Maggie: Oh, please, that is so unfair.
Henry: No, you don't know the woman who has helped carve a business out of nothing, whose strength and courage has made my life possible.
Maggie: You don't owe her your future, Henry, or mine.
Henry: I love my mother. I admire her. You don't know what I owe her. You have no relationship with your own mother.
Maggie: It's true.
Henry: Look, you're right. I don't want my mother to find out about me. I don't want to see the hurt and the disappointment in her eyes. I mean, all my life, my mother's been proud of me, and now --
Maggie: I get it, Henry. I get it.
Henry: No, you don't get it. You don't think it's a big deal to bring dishonor to your family. For me it's a very big deal, maybe the biggest.
Maggie: We made an unbelievably huge mistake. But that does not mean that we lose out on any chance at happiness. We can go to the professor together, and to the dean.
Henry: I could be happy married to you, Maggie.
Maggie: We're not ready for that. And even if we were, of all the reasons to get married -- as a consolation prize, or to keep me quiet?
Henry: No, that wasn't what I was thinking.
Maria: Maddie? Maddie? Can you hear me?
Aidan: I know who you are, Flanders! I know your past hits and all the people you killed. I know you shot and murdered someone in Memorial Park. And now it's over. All I need to know now is the identity of the person that you shot. Come on, bring it on.
Maria: Maddie? Maddie? Do you hear me, baby? Maddie, if you can hear mama -- baby, scream out so I can hear where you -- where you are! Maddie!
Greenlee: You know what we need?
Tad: Yeah, a cold shower.
Greenlee: A brainstorming session. We need to talk images, concepts, and we have to take notes. I don't want anything to slip by us.
Tad: Might I hazard a query?
Liza: I vote no.
Tad: Don't help. What happened to all kinds of sexy?
Kendall: What do you mean?
Tad: At the Chinese restaurant, I seem to remember a lot being said about, oh, intelligence, romance, courage, humor, even maturity, adding up to sexy, or was that just a lot of hot-and-sour hyperbole?
Liza: Are you feeling a little left out?
Tad: No, I just think the tape was kind of, you know, weighted towards beef jerky.
Simone: We were at the beach, Tad, and there are half-naked men at the beach.
Kendall: Yeah, we have to drawn in people that are teenagers and up.
Liza: You can still enter the contest, darling.
Simone: Oh -- actually, no. No, he can't. I'm sorry.
Simone: Well, we had to come up with some rules, you know, at the beach.
Kendall: Yeah, we have to narrow the field of contestants.
Greenlee: No one associated with Fusion can enter, and there's an age cap.
Liza: But I'm assuming that if we ever branch out into the support hose market, we'll be calling you.
Simone: Oh, it's not like that.
Tad: To the moon, Liza.
Liza: Do you think you could send me there?
Tad: I used to.
Simone: Really? Did he?
Liza: More than once or twice.
Simone: Oh, shazam.
Tad: Ladies, I wish you luck with the kindergarten contest. In the meantime, I’m off to the mall to buy myself some bran.
Kendall: Aw, Tad --
Greenlee: Stop it, stop it!
Tad: No, no, no. I hope it goes well. See you later.
Simone: Aw. Oh, Carlos -- oh, we have you to thank for all of this. I mean, really, if you hadn't done that TV spot for us, I never would've come up with this idea.
Carlos: Ok, but Tad's right. There's more to being a man than what you look like or how much you can lift.
Kendall: That's true, that's true. There is kindness, and how you rate in the romance department.
Mia: Or whether or not your eyes go all sparkly when you smile.
Simone: Huh. I never really looked at it that way.
Mia: Edmund has sparkly eyes.
Simone: Yeah, ok. Anyways, you are the best now, and if we didn't disqualify all the Fusion employees, you would win hands-down.
Carlos: Thank you.
Carlos: I think.
Carlos: Well, good luck with your brainstorming, ladies. I'm out.
Liza: Carlos, you should stay. We could use your point of view.
Simone: Yes, yes.
Carlos: No, I really got to go meet Kenny at the gym to discuss my case.
Simone: At the gym?
Carlos: Well, yeah. His firm isn't letting him represent me without pay, so he's putting up the cash and I'm paying him back with some training sessions.
Kendall: Well, aren't you a smarty-pants.
Liza: You know, I think that Kenny would do just about anything to make you happy, Simone.
Greenlee: Kenny Adler, America’s sexiest man?
Simone: My Kenny?
Greenlee: Hey, can you wait a minute?
Carlos: Yeah, I guess.
Greenlee: Carlos, you're a gentleman and a great guy, and --
Carlos: It's all right, Greenlee. I really don't want to be in the contest.
Greenlee: It's not about that.
Greenlee: You could get into a lot of trouble protecting Simone.
Carlos: Kenny's a very good lawyer.
Greenlee: This isn't breaking into a high school or putting posters up all over town. When Simone aired that commercial nationally, she was messing with the F.C.C.
Carlos: Yeah, so?
Greenlee: So, you're very noble and it's very impressive, but you can let it go now.
Carlos: Did I just miss something?
Henry: You said you loved me, so --
Maggie: I'm a freshman in college.
Henry: And I love you, so --
Maggie: We would be crazy to get married. You know how strenuous medical school is. Oh, I almost forgot -- only one of us would be going. What, did you think I would learn the family business and raise little Chins?
Henry: Did I say that?
Maggie: It doesn't matter.
Maggie: This isn't about whether or not we love each other, Henry. This is about doing the right thing, no matter what the cost.
Henry: Professor Stevens likes you. She'd cut you a break.
Maggie: She already told me I was as good as on the street. She worships you. You were her golden boy. Why do you think she assumed I was the one who cheated?
Henry: But if you threw yourself on her mercy and explained how you just froze and that it had never happened before, and that you'd taken quizzes since --
Maggie: No, that is your story. You tell it. I don't believe I actually thought you loved me.
Henry: No, I do. I -- if I didn't, this would be so easy. But you're forcing me to choose between you and --
Maggie: And your mother.
Henry: No. Medicine.
Maggie: Medicine isn't what drives you. It's music.
Henry: Music can't be my career.
Maggie: Well, it couldn't while you were hot on the doctor track. But now --
Henry: It's not possible.
Maggie: Professor Stevens couldn't get over the fact that every single mark on our papers was identical. I would have changed some of the answers if I cheated. I told her that.
Henry: Yeah, so what?
Maggie: So I think that you did it on purpose. I think that you wanted to get caught because then you could just kiss medical school goodbye and fall back on plan B -- music.
Henry: No, I wasn't thinking, ok. I froze. I mean, I'm not a practiced cheater. I screwed up my whole life because of one stupid midterm exam. What is wrong with me?
Maggie: You say you've dishonored yourself, but there is still an honorable way out.
Henry: Are you going to tell professor Stevens your side?
Maggie: This is not my side. There is only one side, and that is the truth. You know, you want your honor back. Why don't you try telling it?
Henry: You don't know what this means to my family.
Maggie: What if I told professor Stevens the truth? My story. What would you do? Would you call me a liar? I'm the new kid in town with the sketchy past. The dean and the whole school would probably believe you.
Maggie: And you've done fine on the past quizzes. So when it's time for final exam, do you think that you would just sail through it with no problems? You don't think that a tiny bit of your conscience would mess you up again?
Henry: I'd die before I did anything like this again.
Maria: Maddie! Maddie! No!
Carlos: You want me to let Simone go to prison?
Greenlee: It was Simone's stupid idea. She should take responsibility.
Carlos: Ok, come here. Come here. Look. How do you think Simone’s going to do in jail?
Greenlee: She was Miss Popularity last time.
Carlos: Yeah, well, a holding cell is a real country club compared to real prison. I can't let her go to jail. Anyway, Kenny says he can make this all go away.
Greenlee: You're an exceptional guy, Carlos.
Simone: That's not any joke. You're not kidding. You are my -- our guardian angel. Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Carlos: I'll be seeing you.
Simone: Ok. Have fun at the gym. Tell Kenny I said hi.
Carlos: I will.
Simone: Ok. Oh, gosh. Ok, so we are in agreement that my sexiest man contest is the answer to Fusion prayers, right?
Greenlee: If we can pull it off.
Simone: If? It's, like, as good as done.
Kendall: I mean, you have to admit that tape did make you feel pretty good.
Liza: Yes, it sure did.
Simone: Well, women across America are going to be thanking us.
Greenlee: For what? I mean, it's not like we can troop every woman in the country into our office to watch tapes of sexy men.
Simone: Yeah, I know that.
Greenlee: And we don't have the funds to pay for tapes to get it out there or to pay for commercial airtime.
Simone: Well, I didn't suggest that.
Greenlee: And your days of airtime piracy are over.
Simone: All right, whoa. All right, when did this turn into pick-on-Simone day? I thought we all agreed that this was huge, right?
Greenlee: I'm just trying to figure out how you turn this outrageous idea into something you can actually use.
Simone: First we have to hit all the hot spots where all the sexy men are.
Greenlee: How impractical is that?
Simone: Ok, then we will ask women to nominate who they think the sexiest man is.
Greenlee: And how do you plan to get the word out to these women? Send you on a city-by-city tour?
Simone: Greenlee, why do you have to be so mean?
Greenlee: I'm just sick and tired of working with the biggest user on the planet.
Kendall: That is so unnecessary.
Simone: Gee, how do you really feel?
Liza: Greenlee, 20 minutes ago, you were all for this contest.
Kenny: You're late, Carlos.
Carlos: I know. I'm sorry.
Boyd: Fusion keeping you pretty busy?
Kenny: All those demanding women?
Boyd: So, what happened? Their demands keep you all tied up?
Kenny: Yeah, how is work?
Tad: Oh, you mean now that the women of Fusion are hot on the trail of America’s sexiest man?
Boyd: What does that mean?
Tad: Well, get this. Instead of hiring a beautiful woman to sell their cosmetics, they've decided to use the ultimate male to do it.
Kenny: Don't women want to see what the makeup will do for them?
Carlos: Kenny, it's more like they want to see the effect their beauty has on us.
Tad: More specifically, a hot, hunky youngster.
Kenny: You're taking this personally.
Tad: You bet your butt I am, Counselor. You didn't see their demo tape -- "return to muscle beach." Honestly, I felt so --
Boyd: What, cheap?
Tad: No, invisible.
Kenny: Well, how does this contest work?
Carlos: Well, they're devising that plan right now.
Kenny: So all they're going to be judging are men's bodies?
Carlos: Well, and their faces, too.
Kenny: Like, for how long?
Tad: Until they find their perfect specimen.
Boyd: You know, chemistry and math, they make perfect sense. No matter how complex the problem, you can always arrive at the right solution. But women, why do they have to be so --
Boyd: Try unfathomable.
Tad: Gentlemen, please. With all due respect, you're making them out to be a lot tougher than they are.
Carlos: Well, you have all the answers?
Tad: Maybe. To all the questions worth asking, anyway.
Tad: Well, despite the rather secondhand appearance, you may have your fields of expertise. I have mine.
Boyd: Right, Tad the Cad. You're a legend in Pine Valley.
Kenny: So, don't keep all the secrets to yourself.
Henry: Hi. I just need the dean's office hours. No, I don't want to make an appointment. I just need --
Regina: How you doing?
Regina: For a guy whose world is falling apart?
Henry: It's not like I'm a victim. I should've just come clean in the beginning. Waiting has only made it worse.
Regina: Henry, what have you done?
Henry: Other than ruin my life?
Regina: It doesn't have to be ruined.
Henry: Whatever. Maggie's right. I'm not in this alone, and I can't let her take my punishment. I've got to go tell professor Stevens and the dean.
Maria: Maddie! Maddie! If you can hear me, baby, swim -- swim to mama!
Maria: Maddie! Maddie!
Maria: Come here, baby. Are you -- oh, my God! I got you, honey. Oh, my precious --
Simone: I told Carlos that I didn't want him taking the rap for me.
Greenlee: While you were kissing him and gushing that he's your savior?
Tad: Do yourselves a favor, gentlemen, keep it simple. Because I guarantee you, the woman you find the most beautiful will always be the most infuriating.
Boyd: That's it? That's all you've got? Everybody knows that. The question is, what do we do about them?
Simone: I will never understand you.
Greenlee: No kidding.
Simone: Get it through your head, all right? Carlos and I are friends, Greenlee. Just friends.
Greenlee: Not for your lack of trying.
Tad: Maybe we better take this on a case-to-case basis. You don't need any help. Your dance card's already full. Simone's lusting after you as it is.
Carlos: We don't have to discuss Simone right now.
Tad: Oh, yes, we do. Because whether you like it or not, she's waiting for you to make a move. Any move.
Carlos: Yeah, well the only moves I want to make are towards Greenlee.
Kenny: Good for you. You go for it.
Carlos: Yeah, well, Greenlee’s not accepting any of my moves right now, so --
Simone: Why don't you just admit that you want Carlos, hmm? Just say it -- "I want Carlos." It's easy. "Je desire Carlos." "I-ay, ant-way, arlos-cay."
Kendall: Ok, guys, can we please stop wasting time and get back to business?
Simone: She can do it.
Mia: Wasting time?
Kendall: No, men are not worth all this angst, I'm sorry.
Mia: Hello, we're basing an entire contest, an entire campaign, on men.
Liza: We'd better think they're worth something.
Simone: Well, Kendall is just going through her I’ve-been-dumped blues.
Kendall: No, you know what, I'm swearing off men. I'm over them. I'm done with them. Love is for suckers.
Liza: I hate your defeatist attitude.
Simone: Yeah, it's really not Fusion.
Kendall: Tough. It's me.
Mia: You know, my fiancé cheated on me and left me, and I'm not letting that break my spirit.
Liza: Oh, you can’t. Men are just men. They're unorganized and they're bullish and they always think they're in charge. You can't let them define you. They're messy. I mean, the havoc they cause in your home is nothing compared to what they do in your heart. They're impossible to tame.
Henry: I can't let all this fall on Maggie.
Regina: You can't tell me that Maggie wants you to sacrifice your life for her.
Henry: Regina, I cheated. There's no getting around it. I deserve to get kicked out.
Regina: You would have sat through the exam and handed in a blank piece of paper at the end if Maggie hadn't shoved her paper in front of you.
Henry: No, that's not how it was.
Regina: I was watching the whole thing. She offered you a way out, and you were so freaked, you took it.
Henry: That doesn't mean I'm not guilty.
Regina: Henry, you're, like, the most honest, honorable, decent guy that I know.
Henry: You mean I was.
Regina: Maggie set this in motion, not you. Why shouldn't she take some of the heat?
Henry: No, no.
Regina: All right, I barely know her, and maybe her family won't care. But Alma?
Henry: My mom will hate me. She'll never forgive me for this.
Regina: Your mother loves you more than her own life, and this -- this will kill her.
Henry: She'll get over it.
Regina: Maybe Maggie buys that, but you and I both know better. This isn't just about you.
Henry: It's about all of us. It's about my entire family.
Regina: Exactly. Maggie doesn't get that.
Henry: I can't lose Maggie over this.
Regina: Well, that wouldn't be an issue if she really loved you.
Henry: Yeah, well things are pretty screwed up right now.
Regina: Well, just promise me you won't rush into doing something that could entirely wreck your life.
Henry: Hey, what choice do I have? I can't lose Maggie.
Henry: Because I love her.
Regina: Does she love you back?
Regina: Are you sure? Maybe -- maybe you just haven't looked around enough.
Maria: Thank you.
Edmund: Oh, my God.
Maddie: Daddy! Mommy called and I swam to her.
Edmund: Are you cold? You look cold.
Maddie: I'm ok, Daddy. I promise.
Edmund: Listen, would you do me a favor, sweetheart? Would you go with Derek to those nice guys in the ambulance and talk to them, the guys that gave you the blankets?
Maddie: The E.M.T.s?
Edmund: Yeah, ok?
Edmund: All right. I am so proud of you. I love you so much.
Maddie: You know what?
Edmund: What, sweetie?
Maddie: Mommy says she loves me.
Edmund: Of course she does. She always has. Come on, sweetie. Um -- Derek is -- Derek said Aidan's going to be fine because he's got the boat covered, ok?
Maria: Ok. You can't believe how amazing Maddie was. She was so brave and she was so strong. I mean, you raised such an amazing child, Edmund.
Edmund: She's got a lot of you in her, you know. Always has.
Maria: I was in the water and I couldn't see her and I couldn't hear her, and I thought I'd lost her. And I couldn't deal with that at all. I couldn't deal with the fact that I thought she was gone. Oh, my God.
Edmund: I will never forget what you did for us, Maureen.
Maria: She's so precious to me, Edmund. Edmund, something happened, and --
Edmund: I -- I should go to her.
Regina: I hate to see you wasting yourself and your future on a girl who doesn't get you.
Henry: Maggie gets me.
Regina: Remember when we were at sleep-away camp together?
Henry: Camp Tamarack. We were kids.
Regina: Still nice.
Henry: I've known you since preschool, Regina. You're like my sister.
Tad: There you go. All you got to do is commit these rules to memory. Just don't try them all at the same time. You'll sprain something. Just stay in shape, whatever you do. No matter how much they say that there's all kind of sexy, nobody wants to get into bed with Jabba the hut.
Boyd: Is that why you're here?
Tad: It just so happens I go to the gym for me, ok? Because I care about my health and my well-being. Excuse me, I’m going to take a nice schvitz.
Kenny: He's going to work out.
Boyd: It's got to be for a woman.
Carlos: You know it.
Greenlee: You know, before we get back to work, the announcement for Stuart Chandler's outsider art show.
Simone: Introducing works by Carlos Reyes, yes?
Greenlee: Yeah, yeah. I found this by your stuff.
Simone: What are you doing digging through my stuff?
Greenlee: Never mind that. Why didn't I get one?
Maddie: Can I call Abuela?
Edmund: Abuela? Sure. Here you go, sweetie. Just press call, all right?
Maddie: I'm not a baby.
Edmund: I know, baby. Ok. You ok?
Maria: Yeah. Yeah. It's -- it's just --
Edmund: Should I get a doctor?
Aidan: Get a man down here! Lower a man down now! Come on!
Officer: [through bullhorn] get to the wheel. Turn hard to port. She's headed for the rocks.
Edmund: I should've never put you in this position. It was too dangerous.
Maria: No, Edmund -- Edmund, listen to me, please. Something happened --
Derek: What you got?
Maria: When I was in the water.
Officer: We got a call coming in. Can we drive closer to that boat from a launch?
Maria: What's going on? Derek, what's going on? Did you hear anything about the boat?
Derek: They're getting a boat to go alongside --
Officer: It's too late for that.
Maria: What do you mean, it's too late for that?
Derek: Excuse me. Lieutenant Frye. He can't drop anchor? There's got to be a way for him to get to --
Maria: Oh, my God.
Maddie: What was that?
>> On the next "All My Children" --
Kendall: I came here because I want something, and I'm not leaving until I get it.
Lena: Men mean nothing to me, Bianca.
Bianca: And what are women good for?
Joe: You are not going to be in the O.R. during your daughter's surgery.Maria: I can't just let him die, Edmund. I've got to do something.
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