AMC Transcript Tuesday 3/25/03


All My Children Transcript Tuesday 3/25/03

By Suzanne
Proofread by Gisele

>> Previously on "All My Children" --

Maria: I just wanted to say that I'm glad that you're moving on.

Maggie: You don't trust anyone, do you? You don't even trust Anna with your baby.

Kendall: If Erica ever dared to put one hand on you, I'd kill her.

Chris: I'm not like the other men you thought you loved. You don't get a free pass from me.

Erica: Fine!

Maria: I can't believe how well you know all the trails. I am so impressed, Maddie.

Maddie: Well, Daddy's been taking me riding every morning. Maybe next time you could come with us, mommy.

Maria: Well, I kind of liked it just the two of us, didn't you?

Maddie: I just thought if Daddy rode with us, he wouldn't be so sad.

Edmund: So, Kendall's lips were green?

Mia: So green. You remember the Wicked Witch of the West?

Edmund: Yeah.

Mia: That green.

David: Ok. All right.

Anna: How many blankets are you going to put on that baby?

David: Well, it is cold outside, right? And you really want to take her to the park.

Anna: Why don't you skip the blankets and see if you can find a plastic bubble.

David: Frankly, I'd rather skip the park.

Anna: Oh, come on, David, it's the first day of spring. The sun is shining. The fresh air will do her good.

[Leora coos]

Maggie: You might as well just give up now, Anna. David's right and everyone else is wrong.

Chris' voice: Listen up -- you're on my dime now, on call till I say it's over.

Jack: And that's stamp talking to Flanders?

Aidan: They had a meeting at the Valley Inn.

Jack: At the Valley Inn, right here in town? When was this?

Aidan: Last night.

Jack: This was after Erica gave stamp the ring back? Man, this is not good. This guy isn't even bothering to cover his tracks.

Aidan: He didn't seem out of control.

Jack: Not out of control? Having a meeting with a known felon in a public place, right in Erica's backyard? He could be putting her in danger.

Aidan: I think the only one in danger here is Chris. You are so crazy over the guy's fiancée, you've got him tried and convicted before he's even done anything.

Erica: Yes, that's right, Pascal. Cancel the wedding dress. Yes, and Bianca's -- yes, all the bridesmaids' dresses -- everything, Pascal. The wedding's off. It's not going to happen. Yes, I'm sorry, too. All right, well, thank you, Pascal. Yes, au revoir.

Chris: I came to say goodbye.

Kendall: Wake up, sleepyhead. I ordered breakfast, all your favorites.

Erica: Oh, good. Waffles. Oh, I hope you ordered enough for two because you know I really hate to share.

[Kendall gasps]

Michael: What? What's wrong?

Kendall: Don't you touch me.

Erica: Goodbye? That's all you have to say?

Chris: What else is left to say? After yesterday, after you threw the ring in my face?

Erica: So you're just going to leave without any explanation?

Chris: Me? No, I think you're the one who needs to do explaining. You're the one who shut me out of your life. I'm the one who had to wait on a -- look, Erica, we both know what's happening, so let's be honest, at least.

Erica: You think that I've pushed you away?

Chris: You know you have. Look, I want to know why. My feelings and my love haven't changed for you. You must've just stopped loving me.

Erica: No!

Chris: Yes! I know you don't like it when I question you about how you do business, but having dinner with the man in his hotel room in a sexy dress -- did you expect me to accept that? Was I supposed to just look the other way?

Erica: Is this about Michael Cambias? Because we never --

Chris: To hell with Michael Cambias. He's nothing but a weasel. This is about us or -- or what's left of us.

Erica: I told you there was nothing for you to worry about, there was nothing for you to be jealous about Michael Cambias. I --

Chris: I know that's what you told me, Erica, but my gut was telling me something else. And I haven't survived as a fed for 20 years by ignoring my instinct, and that's what you keep telling me to do.

Erica: No, that's not what --

Chris: Yes, it is. Yes. Now you listen to me, please. I know you -- you don't want me to think that you can't handle whatever the world throws at you, but the fact is you're a vulnerable woman, and inside that beautiful package is a very fragile heart. And all I wanted to do was to protect it and make sure it wouldn't get broken again, but I can't do that if I don't trust you.

Erica: I want you to trust me.

Chris: I know. I know.

Erica: But you don't. You question every move that I make.

Chris: Erica, I trust you to be you, and I know that means you're not going to tell me everything, but I never thought it meant you would lie to me.

Erica: You think that I'm lying to you?

Chris: Aren't you? Haven't you been doing that to me for months? And isn't that the real reason why I'm losing you?

Jack: Come on, Aidan, you've heard the tape. You were there. Here's stamp having a public meeting with Evan Flanders, a known criminal who's been under investigation for months. His colleagues -- and you were the one that told me this -- his colleagues at the FBI can't figure out why he hasn't arrested this guy yet.

Aidan: Yeah, but maybe Chris is trying to use Flanders to bring down a bigger guy.

Jack: Oh, come on.

Aidan: He could arrest the entire syndicate, Jackson, and you'd still try and bring Chris down because he has what you want -- Erica.

Jack: Are you going to start that again? I've already told you you're wrong about that.

Aidan: You're right, it's not true, because Chris and Erica are no longer together. They broke up. So why don't you back off? You've got a clear road to your lady love now.

Jack: Let me try this again. Contrary to this idea you've gotten in your head, I am not using this office to chase a woman. What I am trying to do is to stop a rogue FBI Agent from wreaking havoc in my town!

Aidan: And on Erica.

Jack: Yes, on Erica! Don't you think she deserves the same protection as any other citizen?

Aidan: What, even now that Erica has dumped Chris?

Jack: Especially now. Especially now. Aidan, this guy has a history of using his badge to settle personal scores.

Aidan: I'm sure if that was true, he'd be out of a job.

Jack: What about the two-year suspension he drew? The guy just happens to be good at covering his tracks. He hasn't been caught yet. But believe me, there is plenty of suspicion surrounding agent stamp.

Aidan: Yeah, but there's no proof.

Jack: We have to find the proof, Aidan. That's what we're trying to do here. We're trying to find the proof, and we've got to do it. We have to find out who this guy's trying to take out before it's too late.

Kendall: I thought that --

Michael: What?

Kendall: Nothing. I don't want to talk about it.

Michael: Well, honey, you have to so I can make sure it doesn't happen again.

Kendall: Uh -- it was -- it was just a bad dream. Please don't make me say it.

Michael: Sweetheart, what was it about?

Kendall: You slept with my mother.

[Michael laughs]

Anna: What's that all about?

Maggie: Ask David. Can I get two breakfast burritos, please?

Anna: What did you do now?

David: She's probably upset with me because I snapped at her friend, but the kid is a know-it-all, all right? He's telling me about my own child's immune system.

Maggie: He was trying to say something encouraging, and you had to jump all over him. I don't understand what you have against him. He's smart. He is polite. He worships you.

David: I don't have anything against him, Maggie. I just don't want him in my face.

Maggie: Well, next time don't be so rude about it.

Anna: Oh, excellent. So you have a problem with Henry now?

David: No. No, I don't have a problem with Henry. He's a suck-up, all right? I mean, first he's all over me about the in utero surgery. Then he's telling me what's right or wrong for Leora.

Anna: Maybe he's just interested.

David: Why? What the hell does he want from me?

Anna: I don't think he wants anything from you. He's interested in Maggie.

David: Yeah, well, then he better watch out because I'm not going to let him mess around with my cousin.

Edmund: So, anyway, Mia was telling me how hard she was working, so I decided to take her riding.

Maddie: Oh. Daddy says Mommy's the best rider he ever saw.

Mia: Oh, that's great.

Edmund: Well, listen, we'll put you on crackerJack. He's very gentle.

Maddie: CrackerJack's my horse! And you said no one can ride him but me!

Edmund: Maddie.

Maria: Um, you know what we could do? I will just let you ride Faith. She's a great horse. Ok, everyone? I'll show you where her stall is.

Mia: Oh, yeah, thank you.

Maria: She really is a nice horse. She's very calm.

Mia: Great.

Edmund: Sweetheart? You having trouble remembering your manners?

Maddie: Why do you have to go riding with Mia?

Edmund: Well, she's my friend, and I think she'd like to be your friend, too.

Maddie: Well, I don't want to be hers. I just want Mommy to stay with us, and I want us to be a family again.

Edmund: Maddie, I thought you understood.

Maddie: But I don't understand.

Maria: You guys should probably get your ride in, because it's starting to get cloudy outside. I don't want you to get rained on.

Edmund: Yeah, good point. Ahem. Shall we?

Mia: Oh, yeah, lead the way.

Maria: Have a good time.

Mia: Thank you.

Maria: Have fun. You know what, sweet pea? It's ok for Daddy to like other people.

Maddie: But he loves you. He said so.

Maria: I know. I know, but, you know, sometimes the way a person feels about another person changes.

Maddie: So they stop loving each other?

Maria: Yeah, they do, but it's not anybody's fault. It's not -- you know, it just happens.

Maddie: So does that mean one day you might stop loving me?

Aidan: If Chris is dirty, I will find out. And if he's not --

Jack: Then you're going to protect him. I realize that, Aidan.

Aidan: I want to be the one to bring you the news, along with a big slice of humble pie.

Jack: If that's the way it works out, I can live with that. Keep in touch.

[Phone dials]

[Phone rings]

Val: Erica Kane's office. How may I help you?

Jack: Hey, Val, it's Jack. I really need to talk to Erica.

Val: Oh, I'm sorry, Jack. She's in with Chris right now, and he left strict orders not to disturb them.

Anna: First Leora and now Maggie. Don't you think you're carrying this overprotective father thing a bit far?

David: I'm not going to apologize for protecting the people I love.

Anna: Ok. I'll do it for you, then.

David: Fine.

Anna: Maggie, I'm sorry about David. He's been awfully protective.

Maggie: You mean obsessive.

Anna: I mean obsessive, yeah. Why don't you talk to him?

Maggie: He'll probably yell at me for breathing on the baby.

Anna: Yeah. You know, he's under a great deal of stress because of Leora.

Maggie: You're under a lot of stress, too, and I don't see you biting anybody's heads off.

Anna: You haven't seen me early in the morning.

Waiter: Here you go.

Maggie: Still no excuse. I'll talk to you later.

[Woman sneezes]

David: Excuse me. Would you please cover your mouth? You going to infect everybody in the entire restaurant?

Woman: So sorry.

Anna: What on earth is the matter with you?

Michael: I'm sorry. I don't mean to make light of your dream. And I know you have a huge issue with your mom, but you have to see how preposterous that is.

Kendall: I do?

Michael: Well, of course. I'm crazy about you, sweetheart.

Kendall: I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Michael. It's just that when -- I'm really messed up when it comes to my mother.

Michael: That's ok. Besides, you've given me a new goal. It is now my life's mission to make sure that you see yourself the way I do.

Kendall: Hmm. God, I could stay here with you all day.

Michael: Hmm. Well, then, do it. Stay here.

Kendall: Hmm, I can't, I can't. I have a job, remember? I have a job. I almost lost the building the last time I played hooky with you. That happens again, Greenlee's definitely going to dump me from the partnership.

Michael: Oh, we wouldn't that to happen.

Kendall: No.

Michael: Good Lord, what would you do with your spare time?

Kendall: Hmm. Ok -- stop! You are making this way too hard for me.

Michael: That's the idea. What?

Kendall: You're evil. Do you know that? You are the king of evil. Now, I'm going to go take a shower.

Michael: Can I watch?

Kendall: Oh, you can do more than that. You can scrub my back for me.

Michael: You know, that sounds like a great proposition. You go ahead. I'll be right there.

Kendall: Ok.

Michael: Ok?

Kendall: Mm-hmm.

[Water runs]

Michael: Letty, I need a delivery made to Erica Kane at the Enchantment office. Right. I want the card to read, "I hope it's not over." Sign it "M.C." Right, two dozen red roses. I want them delivered right away. Good. Thank you. Hey.

Erica: Chris, I -- I did keep things from you, things that I shouldn't have.

Chris: You're a woman. You're -- you're allowed to have secrets.

Erica: But I saw how it was making you crazy, and still I -- I couldn't open up.

Chris: Why?

Erica: Do you see how I have to defend myself with everyone? Well, having to do that with you, having to explain myself over and over and over again, that just makes me feel like you don't even love me and that I was losing you, and I was right.

Chris: No, Erica --

Erica: Yes, I was, and I was afraid. I was afraid of losing you and control and -- and of giving myself to someone so completely. So I don't know. Maybe -- maybe it was a test.

Chris: A test?

Erica: To see how much you would take from me before you would leave me. Which I always knew that you would. Which everyone else always has. My father --

Chris: Erica, I don't -- I don't want to leave you.

Erica: Well -- oh -- you did.

Chris: I thought that's what you wanted. I mean, after everything that's happened, after everything that's been said?

Erica: What I want is for you just to love me just the way you used to.

Chris: I want that, too.

Erica: Well -- can't we try?

Chris: Of course we can try. I'm the man who loves you. I'd do anything for you. Anything.

Erica: Chris -- I hated losing you. I couldn't think of losing you. I couldn't sleep last night just thinking of your face when I threw that ring at you. And I never meant to do that. I -- I love you and I love the ring, and I never --

Chris: Shh, shh, shh. How do you feel about putting it back on? I want to marry you. And if you'll be my wife, I promise you -- I promise, Erica -- I'll never stop showing you how much I love you and how much I trust you.

Erica: And I promise that I will be worthy of that trust. From now on, all the mistakes are in the past.

Michael: How long have you been standing there?

Kendall: Long enough. Long enough to hear what you just said.

Michael: Yeah, well, Kendall, you weren't supposed to hear that.

Kendall: Yeah, obviously.

Kendall: You sweet, sweet man. You don't have to send me flowers every day.

Michael: Well, you know, it's -- it's my pleasure.

Kendall: I am so lucky to be with such a romantic man.

Michael: You know, I thought you had to jump in the shower and go to work.

Kendall: Well, I thought that you were going to join me.

Michael: Yeah, well, I don't think I can wait that long.

Jack: Well, now, this certainly doesn't look much like goodbye to me.

Chris: Oh, we've -- we've patched things up. We're going to get married after all.

Jack: So I see.

Erica: We've decided to put all of our past mistakes behind us and move on. I hope you can be happy for us, Jack.

Jack: All I've ever wanted is for you to be happy, Erica. You know that.

Erica: I need your friendship, Jack. I need you to understand how important this is to me.

Jack: You can count on me, Erica, as always. Well, listen, I'm going to get out of here. The last thing this reunion needs is an audience.

Chris: Jack?

Jack: Yeah, what is it, Chris?

Chris: I just want to tell you I appreciate you looking out for her.

Jack: I'll never let anything happen to Erica. I promise you that.

Erica: Well, can't H.R. Handle it? I'm in the middle of a very, very important meeting. All right, all right. But this better be quick.

Chris: What, duty calls?

Erica: Just for a minute, I swear. Can you wait? I'd love to celebrate.

Chris: I'd love to be right here. Thank you. Thank you.

Val: Hello, Chris. Judging by the smile on Erica's face, I'd say your meeting was successful.

Chris: Home run. Oh, look, thanks for guarding the door. Hmm. Who are those from?

Val: I don't know.

Chris: Ah.

Val: My boss doesn't like it when I snoop, so I'm trying to quit.

Chris: And how's that going?

Val: It's hell.

[Chris laughs]

Chris: "I hope it's not over. M.C."

David: There's nothing wrong with me.

Anna: You are being ridiculous. You are smothering Leora with all this worrying.

David: Well, somebody has to worry, all right? I mean, she's fragile. She's vulnerable. And you insist on bringing her out in the cold to germ-infested restaurants. You know, any decent parent would protect their child from this -- this walking petri dish.

Anna: "Any decent parent"?

David: Yes. That's not what I mean. I'm not talking about you.

Anna: I only see two parents here.

David: Anna, don't get sensitive about this, all right? You know what I'm talking about.

Anna: Actually, no, I don't know what you're talking about.

Regina: Expecting someone else?

Henry: Leave me alone.

Regina: So, how did Maggie like your family's restaurant?

Henry: Why'd you tell her about it?

Regina: She said she needed to find you, said it was urgent. So?

Henry: So, what?

Regina: How'd your mother get along with Maggie?

Henry: What, is that supposed to be funny?

Regina: Maggie's not here. Are you afraid she caught your mother's act, decided to head for the hills?

Aidan: Maureen, where are you?

Maria: Oh, my gosh, honey, I hope that you know that I will never stop loving you.

Maddie: But you stopped loving Daddy.

Maria: Well, you know, it's -- it's so hard to understand, I know. It's really hard to explain. Daddy and I will always be friends because of you and Sammy. Ok? You know what? I'll bet you it's -- yikes, it's getting very late. I don't want to make you late for school, and I have someplace to go, too. So we better get going.

Maddie: Why?

Maria: Well, I get to take a test today that might actually help me become a doctor again.

Maddie: Don't you want to say goodbye to Daddy?

Maria: Well, why don't you say goodbye for me, ok?

Maddie: Ok.

Maria: Let's get going. Whoo! Do you think you have time for breakfast?

Maddie: Yeah.

Maria: I hope I didn't make you too late for school. Here.

Mia: It's just that the horse was so big and she wouldn't stand still. Oh.

Edmund: You were just nervous. I mean, horses can sense when a rider is --

Mia: What?

Edmund: Is -- is --

Mia: Terrified?

Edmund: No, inexperienced. Listen, it takes a while to get comfortable on a horse. But don't worry, you have plenty of time to learn.

Mia: Oh, yeah. Once I get up the nerve.

Edmund: I can help you with that, you know, if you like.

Mia: I'd like that. A lot.

[Cat meows]

Mia: Come here. Come here. Don't be afraid. It's ok. Look at you.

Edmund: You're a cat lover, eh? We got a couple of them running around the stables here. They're very friendly. Hey. Mia, what is it? Did I say something to upset you?

Mia: No. No, it's not you. It's Jake.

David: Can we just forget what I said? Ok? You're a good mother. You're a fantastic mother.

Anna: You don't sound very convinced.

David: It's just that sometimes it -- it seems that you're not aware of the things that could be potentially hazardous for Leora.

Anna: I'm not aware?

David: No. No, not like I am.

Anna: You don't think that every time I pick her up I'm worried that I'm holding her right or that I'm going to drop her or crush her or God knows what? You haven't noticed that I wake up every night, every 15 minutes, just to check that she's breathing?

David: Anna, that's not --

Anna: You know, my heart stops whenever she cries because I'm worried that maybe I did do something to hurt her or that she is in pain and I don't know what's causing it. I would do anything to take away that pain from her. Anything, David. I'd take it on myself if I could. I would take on her heart problem if I could.

David: Yes, I know you would. Of course you would.

Anna: Do you?

David: Yes, because I would do the same exact thing, Anna. I live every moment in constant fear that she's going to -- her heart is just going to just stop right there.

Anna: That's the difference between you and me. You live in fear. I'm really trying to rise above that -- I mean, not for my sake, but for Leora's. I don't want our child to grow up terrified. She deserves more than that. She deserves to be kissed and hugged and cuddled by everyone that loves her, germs and everything.

David: All right, maybe I am being a little bit overly protective.

Anna: You're being totally overprotective.

David: But I just don't understand why we would take unnecessary risks if she's not strong enough yet. I mean, Anna, the park -- it's crawling with bacteria everywhere.

Anna: Fine. We won't take her to the park. Why don't you just take her home.

David: Where are you going?

Anna: Nothing. I'm just going to run a few errands. I'll meet you back at the cabin. Bye, sweetie. You be good for Daddy, all right?

[Leora coos]

Anna: Don't sneeze or anything. See you later.

David: Hurry home.

Maggie: Hi, guys.

Regina: Hi, Maggie.

Maggie: Brain food -- breakfast burritos from B.J.'s, my treat.

Regina: Sounds yummy. Good luck.

Maggie: What was that about?

Henry: You're late.

Maria: Oh, there you are. Hi. I'm so sorry I'm late. Have I kept you waiting long?

Aidan: No --

Maria: I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Aidan: Long enough to be worried about you.

Maria: You were worried about me?

Aidan: Whenever you're not around, I just keep thinking about Flanders and Julian, and I just -- I don't want to lose you.

Maria: You're not going to lose me. You're not, you're not. I was just riding with Maddie.

Aidan: Oh, really?

Maria: Yeah.

Aidan: How is she doing?

Maria: Well, she's -- you know, she's full of questions and stuff, so -- I got to get cracking on these books. If I don't start studying, I'm going to make a big fool of myself on this test.

Aidan: I think you're avoiding the subject.

Maria: No, the subject is organic chemistry, and I have to study.

Aidan: If this is about Edmund, you know, we can talk about it. You miss him, don't you?

Mia: This little kitty cat is just bringing back all kinds of memories. I was here before. Did you know that?

Edmund: Here in the stables?

Mia: Yeah, I was -- after the Crystal Ball, Jake brought me here.

Mia: I don't understand how you can feel such a connection with someone -- you know, like you've been waiting for them your whole life -- and then suddenly it's --

Edmund: Gone?

Mia: Yeah, like it never happened. What's the point of meeting that person if you're just going to lose them and end up more alone than when you started? Edmund, I'm sorry.

Edmund: Don't be. I've been asking myself the same question.

Kendall: Oh.

Michael: Oh.

Kendall: I have to go to work now.

Michael: Call in sick.

Kendall: But I'm not sick. Ok, that's enough. Greenlee's going to love that, by the way, let me tell you. All right, no -- ok, this is -- off, off. Get off!

Michael: All right, all right, I'll keep my hands off you, no matter how difficult it seems to be.

Kendall: Oh, yeah. Poor baby, poor baby. Hmm. Yes, it's shower time. Ok -- la-la-la. Bye.

[Water runs]

Michael: Letty, I need a delivery of roses made to Kendall Hart at the Fusion office. Right, two dozen. You know the address, right? Good. Thanks. And the other delivery got there, right, to Ms. Kane? Excellent. Thank you.

Erica: Oh, Chris. Oh, you shouldn't have.

Chris: I didn't.

Erica: You didn't? Then who -- I guess I'm going to find out.

Chris: Mm-hmm. Secret admirer?

Erica: No, no, no, just Maxie Berlin. Enchantment has had record sales this month.

Chris: Oh, congratulations. You're quite the saleswoman, aren't you?

Erica: Chris, I don't want to talk about business. I want to talk about us. Where were we when we were interrupted, huh?

Chris: I'd love to talk, but I have an important meeting right now. Can't wait.

Erica: Chris?

Chris: Yeah?

Erica: Are you all right? You seem -- you seem preoccupied.

Chris: Me? No, I'm fine. I couldn't be any finer. I have you back. And I'm never going to let you go -- ever.

Mia: Oh, God. I don't know why I have to keep harping on the same lost cause.

Edmund: Maybe because you're just looking for answers.

Mia: Yeah, but there aren't any, and it's frustrating.

Edmund: I think the trick is knowing when to move on.

Mia: Hmm. Moving on. That sounds like a good idea.

Edmund: Me, too.

Maria: No. No, I don't miss Edmund. As a matter of fact, I saw him, and I think he was on a date.

Aidan: That must be hard to take. Isn't it?

Maria: No. No, I'm really glad that he's moving on, actually. I don't think, unfortunately, that Maddie is as happy about Daddy's new friend, but --

Aidan: Yeah, well, she can't be happy about Mommy's new friend, either. She can't understand.

Maria: Yeah, but you know what? She's going to grow to love you. She's going to love you as much as I do. We're just going to have to give it some time. Don't worry.

Henry: What?

Maggie: I don't know. You want to tell me what's wrong?

Henry: It's impossible to study here. There's too many distractions.

Maggie: Oh, ok. Well, I have a solution for that.

David: It's ok. It's Daddy. Maybe your mother's right, huh? Maybe I am being a little too protective of you. It's just because I love you so much, darling. I don't want anything to happen to you. I don't know what I'd do with myself if anything happened to you. Oh -- shh, shh. Yeah. You deserve to have a Daddy that -- that watches out for you, right? That cares for you and makes sure that everything's going to be fine. Well, that's going to be me, honey. I'm going to watch out for you. Yep, that's right. No matter what, no matter what, no matter what. Whew.

Jack: Hey. Well, now, there's a sight for sore eyes. How you doing, Anna? What is it? What's wrong?

[Knock on door]

[Water runs]

Bellhop: Delivery for Michael Cambias.

Michael: Yeah, ok. Here you go.

Bellhop: Thanks.

Michael: Thanks.

Bellhop: Enjoy.

Michael: Thanks.

Michael: What have we got here?

Kendall: I thought someone was going to help me scrub my back!

>> On the next "All My Children" --

Aidan: I brought you a secret weapon.

Maria: Are you sure you're allowed to show that to me here?

Henry: If you can't stay focused on something other than sex, we're going to blow it.

Chris: If anybody in this room is a liar, it's you, sweetheart.

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