AMC Transcript Tuesday 3/11/03


All My Children Transcript Tuesday 3/11/03

By Suzanne
Proofread by Gisele

Previously on "All My Children" --

Simone: "You smile, but there's no happiness. I long to take away your pain."

Greenlee: He knows what I'm going through.

Simone: So what are you going to do about it?

Greenlee: I'm going to meet him.

Erica: I cheated on Chris with Jack.

Aidan: Chris Stamp? That's who you want me to go after?

Michael: I cannot wait until you're back in my arms again.

Greenlee: Get out -- you're not Sydney Bergeron.

Sydney: I beg your pardon?

Greenlee: You can't be Sydney Bergeron.

Sydney: Look, whatever you're selling --

Greenlee: Are you married or living with someone?

Sydney: Are you for real?

Greenlee: Just tell me, does anyone else live here? A male someone?

Sydney: Well, yeah.

Greenlee: Thank God.

Sydney: My cat, Groucho.

Greenlee: What is this? Who the hell are you?

Sydney: Who are you?

Greenlee: You know who I am. You've spent weeks trying to make me fall in love with you.

Kendall: Michael, this necklace is -- it's so cool. Whatever I did to deserve it and you, Iím going to keep on doing it.

Michael: Well, just be yourself. That's enough for me. So, am I going to see you tonight?

Kendall: Oh, definitely. You supply the heat and I'll bring the ice. Bye. Mmm, isn't Michael Cambias just the most perfect man in the world?

Simone: Yeah, I guess, if you're into that perfection.

Kendall: Which I am. Oh, God, he's so sweet. He's thoughtful, he's generous.

Simone: Mm-hmm.

Kendall: You know what? I think I'm going to go surprise him with a little token of my own affection. Man, I was having a lousy day until I showed up and got my gift. Now I am totally inspired.

Mia: So --

Simone: Uh-huh.

Mia: Another half-day, Kendall?

Kendall: Oh, you guys -- you guys mind if I go and surprise my man?

Simone: Oh, gosh, heck, no. Us worker bees will tend the hive while the queen's out spreading her honey.

Mia: But we want the buzz when you get back.

Simone: Yes.

Kendall: Oh. Oh, I never kiss and tell. Bye.

Simone: Bye.

Mia: Bye. Did we just say all that?

Simone: Yeah, believe it, we did. What am I doing here, Mia?

Mia: Writing a press release.

Simone: No, I was speaking rhetorically.

Mia: Of course.

Simone: You know, Greenlee is out there tracking down her mystery man. Kendall is drowning in romance and diamonds, and I'm what? I'm collecting dust, waiting to see if Carlos will just make a move. That's ridiculous. I'm pathetic. You know what? It's time for me to get my rear in gear. I'm going to go out of my way right now. Whew.

Mia: Simone --

Simone: What?

Mia: Maybe Carlos isn't the guy for you.

Simone: Silly, of course he is. No, he just doesn't know it yet. Oh, please. Mia, Mia, Mia, Mia. Watch and learn, sweet thing. Carlos, it's Ms. Simone Torres. Yes, Iím here at the office. Actually, it would be wonderful if you could join us down here ASAP. Well, it's an emergency.

Maria: You sure about coming back to work here?

Aidan: Oh, yeah, absolutely. It's an honest buck, and I mix a mean martini, baby.

Maria: Yes, you do. You totally do. I just don't want you to -- I don't know -- mix it up with the girlie customers.

Aidan: Oh, come on.

Maria: What is -- Aidan, what is that?

Aidan: Don't panic, whatever you do.

Maria: Oh, my God. Is it -- is it not over? Are Julian's men still after us?

Jack: Chris, what is it you think you know?

Chris: I want to hear it from you, Jackson.

Jack: Well, why don't you tell me what you heard?

Chris: Oh, I got an earful. I know about you and Erica. I know about your dirty little secret. I know about the coverup.

Jack: The coverup?

Chris: Don't -- don't play me, Jackson. Look, I know that she's been getting it on the side. I know who she's getting it from, but what I don't understand is why you, my friend, would let her cat around behind my back with someone like Michael Cambias and not tell me.

Erica: Chris, I don't know why you decided to stand me up for our lunch date, but you might at least have the courtesy to return my phone calls. On second thought, don't bother.

Boyd: Erica, can you spare a minute?

Erica: Oh, Boyd, this is not a good time.

Boyd: It's about Lena.

Erica: Lena?

Boyd: Yeah. How much do you really know about her, Erica?

Erica: She's one of the smartest hires I've ever made, and my hiring skills are impeccable.

Boyd: Impeccable, but not infallible.

Erica: Look, Boyd, if there's something you think I should know about Lena, please, just say it.

Boyd: Look, I'm not one to gossip, but at the same time, I don't want to see Bianca get hurt.

Michael: By the way, I'm sorry about the phone call.

Lena: No, you're not.

Michael: Oh, I am, because it interrupted us.

Lena: Well, show me how sorry you really are.

[Knock on door]

Maria: What is going on?

Aidan: Julian's men aren't still after us. Ok, that part of my life is over. You're safe, absolutely safe.

Maria: Well, then why would you even have a gun? I mean, I know it's not to keep these customers in line. What's going on?

Aidan: I really don't want to bring you into this.

Maria: Aidan, I am with you, so whatever it is, Iím in it. Please, you got to tell me what's going on.

Aidan: Ok, well, working the bar is just a front.

Maria: A front for what?

Aidan: I've got another job working undercover for Jackson Montgomery.

Maria: Doing what?

Aidan: Maureen -- investigating Chris Stamp.

Jack: Maybe you better tell me what you think you know.

Chris: Look, you know as well as I do that she's been keeping me at bay for weeks. She's been cold to me, she's been standoffish, and I know this woman, and there's no doubt in my mind that she's keeping something secret.

Jack: But you don't have any proof.

Chris: I got an eyewitness. I hired a P.I. to keep a tail on her, keep tabs on her.

Jack: Whoa, whoa, whoa, you hired somebody to spy on Erica?

Chris: It was for her own protection. You know Erica, how she does business with a wink and a smile. The P.I. was there just in case -- in case he got the wrong message.

Jack: Well, you're a braver man than I am. If Erica finds out you put a tail on her --

Chris: Oh, she found out because I told her, and she pitched a fit, so I dumped the P.I., and that's when I found out what -- why would she do this to me?

Jack: Tell me, Chris -- what did you -- what did you learn from your private investigator?

Chris: The P.I. tailed her to your office, Jackson, and he overheard her say to you something about cheating on me. So what's the deal? What kind of game are you two playing with me?

Erica: Boyd, are you saying that you think Lena might hurt Bianca romantically?

Boyd: I don't know for sure. I mean, I don't have any proof or anything.

Erica: Well, then why did you bring it up?

Boyd: Because I get this strange vibe when she's around Bianca.

Erica: What kind of vibe?

Boyd: It's something. I mean, I can't put my finger on it, but it's like she's playing Bianca and me.

Erica: Boyd, from everything Iíve observed, Lena and my daughter Bianca have a very good working relationship, and only a working relationship.

Boyd: Like I said, it's just a gut feeling.

Erica: Well, thank you. I appreciate your concern for my daughter Bianca. I really do, but suffice it to say, Lenaís work has been exemplary. Her strategy to counter the Cambias attack was inspired.

Boyd: Look, I just thought Iíd give you a heads-up.

Erica: Thank you. Really, thank you, but I don't think it's necessary. Believe me, if Lena Kundera were up to something, I would definitely know about it.

Boyd: Ok.

Erica: Ok.

Kendall: Michael, it's me. I've got a surprise for you, sexy.

Michael: Oh, Kendall. This is a surprise.

Kendall: Well, the day's just full of them. First your gift, and now this.

Michael: What is this?

Kendall: Hmm.

Michael: Let's see here -- bamboo forest massage and body oil.

Kendall: Yes, I got it in the gift shop.

Michael: Oh.

Kendall: It is your reward for being so wonderful to me. I am going to be your personal masseuse. You just tell me where it hurts, and I'll make it all better.

Michael: Well, actually, I wish you'd called first.

Kendall: Oh. Oh -- oh, God, Michael, I'm sorry. You're jet-lagged. I'm sorry. Did I wake you?

Michael: Um, not exactly.

Kendall: Oh, Ok. Well, then why else would you be in bed in the middle of the day, unless you're sick -- are you sick? I mean, you do look a little flushed. I'm sorry.

Michael: You and the massage oil have me spiking a fever.

Kendall: Oh. Well, love fever is curable. Why don't we crawl under the covers, get in bed together, and see if we can spike it a little higher?

Michael: I am afraid I have to turn you down.

Kendall: Michael, you've been acting really weird ever since I first walked in the door.

Michael: Weird?

Kendall: Yeah, weird, like, pod-man. You want to tell me what's really going on here?

Carlos: Simone?

Simone: Carlos.

Carlos: What happened? Is it Greenlee? Is she all right?

Simone: Oh, I have no idea.

Carlos: Well, your call -- you said it was an emergency.

Simone: Right, it's a four-alarm. Yeah, it has nothing to do with Greenlee. Why would you think it's about her?

Carlos: She's my boss.

Simone: Oh, right, right.

Mia: So, I think I'm going to go count some paper clips or something.

Simone: Ok. Carlos, obviously -- sit -- my subtle approach is not really working with us.

Carlos: Your subtle approach?

Simone: Yes. You know, how I feel, or rather what Iíd like to feel or really like you to feel -- you know, that way, too.

Carlos: I'm sorry --

Simone: Do -- Ok. Do I have a shot with you?

Carlos: Simone, I've been trying to get somewhere since I left, and, you know, I -- if this isn't about anything, I think I should go.

Simone: Oh, no, no, no. No, this is about something. See -- no, I just -- this is embarrassing. I just -- I just want to know -- do you notice me?

Carlos: Yeah, I notice you all the time, but I don't think right now is the time to do this.

Simone: Ok. Well, when, then? I mean, I notice that you and Mia -- I mean, I know. She told me that you and Mia -- you know, you didn't -- so, I mean, you were a total mensch --

Carlos: A total what?

Simone: No, it's a good thing.

Carlos: Ok.

Simone: A totally great guy, and, you know, there's nothing between you guys, so there shouldn't be anything between us -- I mean, against us being together.

Carlos: Right. Um --

Simone: I mean, how about tonight? You know, you come to my place. I can't cook, but I can order some mean takeout, and I can light some candles.

Carlos: Simone, you are -- you're so beautiful, but --

Simone: "But"?

Carlos: There's somebody else. I'm sorry.

Sydney: Hey. Hey, what do you think you're doing?

Greenlee: I just need you to be straight with me. Is this some sort of sick joke? Hmm? Did Mia and Simone put you up to this?

Sydney: Look, I don't know any Mia or Simone, or how you got my name or where I live, but if you don't go, Iím calling the police.

Greenlee: Go ahead, call the cops. There must be some sort of law against cyberstalking.

Sydney: What are you talking about?

Greenlee: I'm talking about this. "Dearest, dearest, one day, you'll look at me, and when you do, you'll see our future in my eyes." I knew it. I knew it. You wrote this and all the others.

Sydney: No.

Greenlee: Yes, you did. I traced your e-mail account.

Sydney: Someone must've hacked into my account, but I didn't write that. I don't know you. Why would I?

Greenlee: You're lying. You turned seven shades of pale when I read this to you because you knew what was in it.

Sydney: No, I swear --

Greenlee: Do you have any idea what this is doing to me? You know the hell my life has been because you wrote this. If you had half the heart to send these letters, you won't make me suffer any more than I have to. Tell me the truth. Please.

Simone: Ok, shut me up.

Carlos: Simone, there will be someone for you, but --

Simone: But it's not you.

Carlos: No.

Simone: No. Ok, then.

Carlos: Is it Ok?

Simone: Oh, of course. Carlos, please, it's not like we had some red-hot office romance.

Carlos: Well, I'm flattered. I'm so flattered, if that helps.

Simone: Well, no, but it's nice for you.

Carlos: It's just -- it's my heart.

Simone: Yeah, your heart. Yeah, "she is taken."

Carlos: I'm sorry.

Simone: It's fine, Carlos, really. Now go, go to whoever she is, you know. I hope she knows how lucky she is.

Carlos: Still friends?

Simone: Of course! Of course. We're going to be better friends now. Now you go and do whatever it is that you had to do today.

Mia: I have some of that chocolate left.

Simone: Oh. Oh, Mia, Iíve learned from my past mistakes. No pity party. What I need is work. Yes, it's the one part of my life that is not running on empty. Thank God.

Mia: No, no, it's not, but listen, the tank is getting awfully low. I just ran the recent numbers, and we've hit a wall.

Simone: Wait, how high is this wall?

Mia: Well, let's just say if we don't find some other outlets for our product, we won't have the capital to extend beyond our lip line.

Simone: Ok, so we will do what we did when started with just a name and a concept. We'll bang the drum, we'll crank up the volume, we'll make them pant for Fusioneyes, and then we'll get a deal on spec.

Mia: Great. Ok, so how do we get the word out there, though? The last party that we had busted our budget.

Simone: Right, right, but we'll find a way, Ok? This company is all that Iíve got left right now, as pathetic as that sounds, and I am not going to let it tank. My love life, maybe, but this company? No way.

Mia: Right. Absolutely.

Aidan: Here we go. Thank you.

Maria: So, why would the D.A. want you to investigate a federal agent?

Aidan: Well, this is the thing. Jackson's got his reasons.

Maria: Well, what, I mean, does he suspect some sort of foul play? Is it -- Ok, more to the point, what do you think is going on?

Aidan: Well -- well, Chris and me have always got along. I like the guy, and despite all the evidence that, you know, Jacksonís collected on Chris, I want to help him out.

Maria: Right, but that means you're running interference for two very powerful and possibly dangerous men. One's spying on the other. Do you know why?

Aidan: No. I really don't, but I do know what Iím getting into, and Chris is -- he's helped me out before in the past, and if I don't go after him, someone that doesn't have a soft spot for Chris might. You know what I mean?

Maria: And that's all? That's all there is? Aidan, come on, please. You got to tell me what's going on.

Aidan: Only because you're so beautiful. There's a woman in the mix.

Maria: Oh, well, of course. Ok, why didn't I think of that? Who is it? Do you know?

Aidan: Erica Kane.

Maria: Erica? You know, I heard we hated each other in a former life.

Aidan: Oh, yeah?

Maria: Yeah.

Aidan: Well, Jacksonís in love with her, and they've been at it, you know, on and off for years, and then Chris comes along and sweeps her off her feet.

Maria: So this is personal. This is -- Jack wants to get back at him personally. Aidan, you can't do this. You really -- you can't do this. You're going to get yourself killed, and all for what, to prove that we belong together?

Chris: Did she tell you she's messing around with Cambias? Yes or no?

Jack: No.

Chris: But she said she was cheating.

Jack: I think what Erica said and what your private investigator heard was her telling me that she felt like you were treating her as though you thought she was cheating.

Chris: No, no, no, I don't buy that.

Jack: You know something, Chris? I really don't want to be in the middle --

Chris: Well, you are in the middle of this, Jackson. Now you look me square in the eye, and you swear to me she said nothing about shacking up with Michael Cambias.

Jack: She said nothing about shacking up with Michael Cambias. Why don't you talk to Erica about this, Chris?

Chris: No, no, no, no. She'd just give me the same runaround she's been giving me for weeks.

Jack: Chris, you know, I don't think I can really help you with this.

Chris: Whether she opened up to you or not, I know she's hiding something, and that's my 20 years on the job talking.

Jack: Yeah, but Michael Cambias is Enchantmentís direct competition. I would think that would be the last person in the world that Erica would go to bed with.

Chris: It fits. It fits, damn it. From her secret meeting on his private jet to the showdown at the valley inn, from Kendall accusing her mom of going after him, and then there's Donald Steeleís pictures of the two of them together -- they looked pretty cozy to me. Plus Cambias' reputation with the ladies. Now, if it's not him, then who else can it be?

Michael: What is going on is that I want to spend the rest of the day in bed with you, but all this time that Iíve been spending with you in Pine Valley is costing my company money.

Kendall: Oh, I'm sorry. I -- I didn't even think about that.

Michael: Well, it's Ok. I wasn't focused. I mean, it's costing me, but it's well worth it, believe me. It's the one of the things I love about you -- your guileless impulsiveness.

Kendall: You love that, huh?

Michael: I do, I do, but work beckons.

Kendall: Right, work. You know what, you're right. I should probably get back to work myself.

Michael: Yeah, Ok. Not so fast, not so fast.

Kendall: Well, you just told me that you have to get back to work.

Michael: I know what I just said. I want you to go down to the bar, wait for me. I'll speed through this conference call, then we'll have lunch, and after that, we'll continue to cost my company money. How's that?

Kendall: All right, it's a date. It's a date.

Michael: Good, good.

Kendall: Ok. Well, you promise you forgive me?

Michael: Oh, what's to forgive?

Kendall: Ok.

Michael: Ooh.

Kendall: Ooh. Bye-bye.

Michael: Bye.

Lena: Well done, Michael. You've made real progress.

Michael: Not nearly enough.

Greenlee: I want to know how you know so much about me. What do you want from me?

Sydney: I'm telling you the truth. I didn't write them. Someone got into my account, used it to conceal who they are. I'm sorry.

Greenlee: So am I. These gave me hope.

Sydney: Hey, she was here. Yeah, the love of your life just walked out my door. No, I didn't tell her it was you all along. So now what do we do?

Joni: I'm here. Put me to work.

Simone: Ah, Joni, great. We need to brainstorm teenage marketing strategies. Can you think outside that PR box?

Joni: Well, I just promoted myself to a second term on student council. My campaign was awesome.

Simone: Excellent. That's great, really.

Joni: Yeah. Actually, I took a whole weekend and covered the campus with posters -- an in-your-face "Vote for Me" -- and it worked.

Mia: Oh, how very Tracey flick.

Joni: Whatever. It worked.

Simone: So, wait a minute. How did you get on campus over the weekend?

Joni: I work in the school office, so I know the alarm access code.

Simone: Oh, this is great. Oh, I love it when life works like this.

Joni: What do you mean?

Simone: No questions, Ok? Pretend we never had this conversation. Now just give me the access codes to the school's security.

Joni: No. No way. That's --

Simone: Why not?

Joni: Because if someone found out, I could get expelled.

Simone: No one's going to find out. Greenlee --

Mia: Greenlee -- what? What happened? Tell us.

Simone: Yes, you got to tell me everything.

Mia: He was bald?

Simone: He's hairy?

Mia: Fat?

Simone: Skinny?

Joni: Married?

Simone: Oh, please, God -- no, he's not married.

Greenlee: It was a total disaster.

Simone: Oh.

Mia: Oh.

Lena: You feel some attachment for Kendall, no?

Michael: No. I have her right where I need her.

Lena: And once she's served her purpose?

Michael: Well, I'll throw her away.

Maria: Aidan, I am with you. I'm not going anywhere. You don't have to prove anything to anybody.

Aidan: Like I said, Chris has been good to me. If there's any chance that he's being set up like -- like I was --

Maria: Yeah, I know. You've got to be there for him and be on his side.

Aidan: Will you feel better if I promise you to be careful?

Maria: Will you?

Aidan: Oh, I've got too much to lose to take any stupid chances.

Kendall: That goes for me double, and I have you to thank! Oh! This man is my hero.

Chris: Thanks. Thanks for nothing.

Jack: Chris, Chris -- look, look, look, look, take it easy, all right? Just take it down a notch or you're going to pop a blood vessel.

Chris: I can't help it. I swear the minute that PI dumped this on me, my whole world went the color of blood.

Jack: Well, listen to me. Now, don't go off on Erica for something some gumshoe told you when I just told you that it's not true.

Chris: Look, Jackson, you know Erica probably better than anybody --

Jack: Chris, Iím not sure --

Chris: Look, you guys go way back. She confides in you. Now, swear to me -- swear to me that Iím crazy for thinking for one second that Erica would ever cheat on me.

Jack: You want to know what I think? All right. I think if you've got doubts about Erica, then there's your problem right there, and I think that if you don't trust the woman you're about to marry, then maybe you should call that wedding off right now.

[Knock on door]

Lena: Erica, do you have a moment?

Erica: Lena, yes. Please, come in.

Lena: I have some news about Michael Cambias.

Erica: Well, then, sit down. Tell me. Don't keep me in suspense.

Lena: It seems he and Kendall are once again what you might call an item.

Erica: Really?

Lena: I gather they've been spotted at the Valley Inn. More specifically, at Michaelís hotel room.

Erica: I see. Well, then Kendallís at it again. The question is, what's in it for Michael?

Lena: She's beautiful, she's young.

Erica: Yes. Yes, she is, but there are so many young, beautiful women, many of them right there at Fusion. No, I think that Michael mistakenly thinks that Kendall will lead him to me, and Kendall is just a diversion. Michael Cambias' main interest is getting a toehold on my company. Now, eventually, he's going to learn that Kendall can't get him any closer to Enchantment.

Lena: You know that counterleak we planted?

Erica: You planted it brilliantly.

Lena: I could call "The Herald" again. They seem very eager for anything with the name Cambias in it.

Erica: I never underestimate the power of the press, but now it's time to do something more drastic, something fast-acting and permanent.

Lena: Like what?

Erica: Like poison.

Maria: Ok, Kendall, I'll bite. How did Aidan have time to be your personal hero when he's been a little bit busy lately?

Kendall: Ok, don't get all green-eyed on me, Maureen. I'm not out to hook Aidan.

Maria: I'm flooded with relief.

Kendall: I have a man of my own, thanks to him.

Aidan: Oh, so you took my advice?

Kendall: Yes, I did.

Maria: Somebody want to bring me up to speed?

Kendall: Well, Aidan found me here feeling all sorry for myself because I thought Iíd blown it with this guy that I'd gotten really serious about, but then he told me I owed it to myself to give him another chance.

Maria: And?

Kendall: Well, I don't want to go into detail, but we're back together, and look what he gave me.

Maria: You're kidding me. "Swamp Girl"?

Kendall: It's a long story.

Maria: I'll wait for it to come out on DVD.

[Phone rings]

Aidan: Excuse me, girls. I've got to take this call.

Kendall: Oh, don't mind us. What's that all about?

Maria: Uh, I don't know.

Kendall: Oh, whatever. Oh, Aidan is such a great guy.

Maria: Well, there I would have to agree with you. He's pretty fabulous.

Kendall: Yes, he is, and I have to tell you, I think you're great for toughing it out.

Maria: What do you mean, in the Bahamas?

Kendall: Oh, no, no, no. Girl, I'm talking about Pine Valley. I mean, you know how people in this town talk. I think it takes guts for you to stick with Aidan when everyone's rooting for you to get back together with Edmund.

Greenlee: Her eyes were as wide as hubcaps when I read one aloud. Until then, she had no idea who I was.

Simone: Oh.

Joni: Hey, we're reading "Cyrano" in AP English.

Mia: Cyrano, the guy with the big schnozzer.

Joni: Mm-hmm.

Simone: You are such a romantic.

Mia: Ow.

Joni: Yeah, he -- he was so ashamed of his appearance to declare his love for Roxanne, so he poured his heart into these amazing letters and orations and then had this young, handsome guy present them to her.

Simone: Yes, and Roxanne didn't know that the man who loved her from afar in secret was really Cyrano.

Mia: Right, so Sydney is Cyrano.

Greenlee: No, the young, handsome guy.

Mia: Oh, right. That's right.

Simone: Yeah, and Greenleeís guy would be like Cyrano -- you know, less confident.

Mia: Oh.

Greenlee: He's just a coward. I've wasted way too much time on this loser already.

Simone: Now, now, now. Maybe he's just unbelievably shy.

Jamie: What's up?

Greenlee: Jamie, are you 100 bazillion percent sure you nailed the right name of my e-mailer?

Jamie: Yeah, Sydney Bergeron.

Greenlee: Is there any way anyone else could've tapped into her account without her knowing?

Jamie: "Her"? I thought the e-mailer was a dude.

Greenlee: Answer the question, Jamie.

Jamie: They'd have to know her password.

Joni: Or how to hack their way in.

Jamie: Either way, it's not likely. I'd bet cash money that those e-mails came from her computer.

Greenlee: Isn't this where I get struck by lightning for violating cyberspace?

Simone: Greenlee, you know what? This could still work out for you.

Greenlee: Just leave me alone, Ok?

Simone: What?

Mia: You know, sweetie, I still have some of that chocolate --

Greenlee: You know, I don't need zits on top of everything else. Just leave me alone.

Simone: All right, let's just give her some -- you know, some time to process this.

Mia: God, no, you know what? I am so sick and tired of people jerking us around for no reason.

Simone: Ok, all right, where are you going?

Mia: Out to take control back for the good guys -- girls -- whatever.

Jamie: Hope you're not going to give me the "thou shall not hack" sermon, since most of what I know I learned from you.

Joni: I do it for the challenge, not to make trouble.

Jamie: Yeah, I know. You love you, you're perfect. Don't change.

Joni: What?

Jamie: Joni, relax, Ok? It's good for you, like bran.

Joni: When did you so totally become a mean person?

Jamie: Mean, but not judgmental. You might want to try that sometime. You might make some friends.

Lena: Michael and Kendall may be guilty of corporate espionage, but that hardly seems to warrant a death sentence.

Erica: Oh, no, I don't for one minute think that Kendall is involved in the corporate espionage, and, Lena, the type of poison Iím talking about is a business salvo.

Lena: Oh, you mean the poison pill?

Erica: You're familiar with it?

Lena: Of course. It's a device used to prevent hostile takeovers.

Erica: Exactly. I want you to start laying the groundwork immediately.

Lena: It will be my pleasure.

Erica: I'm counting on you, Lena.

Lena: Rest assured, this company will remain in the right hands -- yours.

Erica: Thank you.

[Intercom buzzes]

Erica: Excuse me. Yes, Michelle? Oh, yes, yes. Please, put him on. Yes, hello. I am trying to reach your boss. We had a lunch date. Chris is where? With Jack Montgomery. Lena, we will continue this later.

Joni: What am I, the public dumping ground? Everyone's always picking on me.

Jamie: Maybe you asked for it. Joni, I hate to give you a hard time.

Joni: Only every chance you get.

Jamie: It's just that I hate to see you missing out because you don't have a signed permission slip. Because there's a lot of amazing things out there. You can't find them in any rule book.

Simone: Look, Joni, if you can't be in synch with us, then I think it's probably best if you go home.

Joni: How about a compromise? Ahem.

Simone: You'll give me the secret code to the school's alarm?

Joni: No, but I'll enter it myself when I break in with you.

Greenlee: I made a fool of myself again. I sort of had this fantasy going on in my head.

Carlos: But those letters were real. Well, I work here and I hear things.

Greenlee: Well, now I'll know -- I'll never know who wrote them.

Carlos: And what would you do if you found him?

Greenlee: I would thank him with all my heart for leading me out of that dark pit of despair I was drowning in.

Carlos: Greenlee, what if I --

Greenlee: But now? I'd spit on him. I'm going to find that cyberstalker and hand him over to the police.

Carlos: You deserve so much more than this, and I --

Kendall: Maureen, I mean it. I really do admire you.

Maria: Please, please, Kendall. I lived with you for a while, remember?

Kendall: Oh, well, there's my man now. See you.

Maria: Ta. Was that phone call about Chris?

Aidan: Yeah. I've got a lead I'm going to check out in Philadelphia. Oh, I hate to leave you for a couple of days.

Maria: Then don't.

Aidan: Maureen --

Maria: No, you don't even have to miss me because I'm going to go with you.

Aidan: It's going to be too dangerous. You canít.

Maria: Aidan, please, I -- you know Iím much more safe if Iím with you.

Aidan: Oh. Uh, you can come on one condition.

Maria: What?

Aidan: You promise me that you will -- you'll take it safe.

Maria: Yeah. You know you wouldn't even want me if I played it safe.

Aidan: You know, you make it so easy to love you. Give me a kiss.

Maria: You'll get busted at work here.

[Phone rings]

Michael: Oh, excuse me.

Kendall: Mm-hmm.

Michael: Ah, I have to take this. Cambias here.

Lena: Michael, I thought you might want to know -- Erica is developing a poison-pill strategy to counter your efforts.

Michael: Oh, well, I expected as much. You know what to do.

Lena: Consider it done, lover.

[Pounding on door]

Erica: Chris, what on earth are you doing here? Why did you stand me up?

Chris: I wanted to talk to Jackson.

Erica: About what?

Chris: About you and me. Jackson was just telling me why we shouldn't get married.

On the next "All My Children" --

Lysistrata: So, what do you want, a date or a session?

Tad: A date.

Mia: Jake can't answer the questions that I have, so that leaves you.

Adam: No Martin ever bested a Chandler.

Jamie: You might want to ask your wife about that.

Chris: I thought that you were cheating on me.

Erica: You're right.

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