AMC Transcript Monday 11/18/02


All My Children Transcript Monday 11/18/02

Provided by Suzanne
Proofread by Kathy

>> Previously on "All My Children" --

Jamie: My mom and your dad are hooking up.

Simone: Anthony was a drug abuser.

Frank: He OD'd?

Simone: He's been in a coma ever since.

Mia: I might be pregnant.

Judge: I do not feel there's enough evidence to proceed to trial.

Maria: I know more. I remember. I remember everything.

Mia: You know, when I was carrying William, every morning I would wake up feeling great. Then I'd remember that I wasn't alone.

Jake: You aren't talking about Frank?

Mia: No, no, the baby.

Jake: Ah.

Mia: This wave of guilt would just wash over me. I should've been so hopeful, but I was scared and I was very nervous.

Jake: Well, you weren't in a committed relationship and your pregnancy wasn't planned.

Mia: And if I'm pregnant now, how is it any different?

Jake: This time, you got me.

Mia: Yeah. Listen, about that -- when I told you that I might be pregnant, boy, you said everything that I wanted to hear. You really did. But if the test comes back positive, I'm not going to hold you to anything that you promised.

Simone: Could you possibly look more serious?

Frank: Hi, Simone.

Simone: Hi. Am I interrupting some big medical breakthrough?

Frank: Not unless a bunionectomy counts.

Simone: Oh. Well, let me take you away from all this. You want to grab some pizza when you get off?

Frank: Ah, thanks, but you don't have to.

Simone: It's not about "have to."

Frank: It got pretty heavy the other night.

Simone: Well, yeah -- you telling me about your New York experiences and me talking about Anthony. Yeah, it was -- wasn't easy stuff.

Frank: No, it wasn’t.

Simone: Look, I've been going over what you said, and there's something important you should know.

J.R.: Come on, man. When Laurie gets the message, she's going to show up at S.O.S.

Jamie: Go meet her. I'm waiting for my mom.

J.R.: You're going to blow off a good time with us to go police your mom?

Jamie: Yeah. So feel free to split.

J.R.: Look, even if she is someplace getting it on with my dad, who cares? Let it go.

Jamie: Just go, okay?

[Doorbell rings]

Jamie: If this is Laurie, grab her and take off.

J.R.: Jamie, trust me. She's cool with you hanging out with us.

Adam: Ah, Jamie. I'm looking for your mom. Is she home?

Brooke: We both know you belong with Maria. I'm not trying to keep you from her.

Brooke: Edmund? Edmund –

Maria: I remember exactly what David Hayward did to me -- all of it. I remember first he injected me with his drug --

David: Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute.

Kenny: Sit down.

Maria: And then, after the injection, I lost my memory.

David: That's a lie! She couldn't possibly remember that!

[Gallery murmurs]

Maria: Why not, David? Because to cover your crimes, you made sure I wouldn't? You tried to fix it so that I wouldn't remember anything you did.

Kenny: Sit down. Don't say anything else.

Maria: Too late. You've already hung yourself.

[Judge pounds gavel]

Judge: This court will come to order. And, Mr. Montgomery --

Jack: Sir?

Judge: Would you please remind your witness that this is a preliminary hearing and not an episode of "The Practice."

Jack: Your Honor, I would ask the court to have Dr. Hayward remanded to custody until such time as we have him indicted and bring him to grand jury.

Judge: That motion is premature, Counselor. What proof?

Jack: "What proof?"

Brooke: Maureen --

Jack: Your Honor --

Brooke: Edmund's collapsed.

Judge: Bailiff --

Maria: Oh, my God.

[Gallery murmurs]

Judge: Doctor, please take your seat. The court's still in session.

David: Your Honor, please. I am a doctor. I might be able to help.

Judge: Very well. The court has taken a five-minute recess.

[Judge pounds gavel]

Judge: Mr. Montgomery, Mr. Adler, I'm going to warn you both right now. I am losing my patience.

Jack: You're not the only one, Your Honor, I assure you.

Maria: Think we need to get you to a hospital.

Edmund: Get away from me.

Brooke: Edmund, please, just let him --

Edmund: I don't want him near me.

Bailiff: You heard the man, Dr. Hayward.

Maria: Edmund -- can we please just get him to a hospital? Could somebody call somebody --

David: Let me take your damn pulse.

Maria: You know what, Edmund? Just let him do it because there's nobody, unfortunately, else here who can help you. Please. Is he all right?

David: He should be home resting instead of charging around town on his white horse.

Maria: Okay. Well, is there any more damage to his trachea?

David: No, he'll be fine. Just get him the hell out of here.

Maria: Don't worry. We'll get you to the hospital.

David: I really have to get back inside. Maureen, just --

Maria: Look, don't even try to say you're sorry because you've said it so many times, I don't believe you. You going to be all right? Can you stand up, do you think? Let me help you.

Edmund: Thanks.

Maria: Okay. Do you think you can make it to the -- I'll just go get the car. I'll bring it around, all right?

Edmund: Now, listen, I can -- I can call a car.

Maria: No, no, no. I'm going to drive you.

Edmund: Don't you want to know how this turns out?

Maria: I don't need to stay here today to find out what happens to him. I know he's going to get what's coming. You all right?

Simone: Look, Frank, it's not that I didn't want to hear about what you've done or your life before medicine --

Frank: It was just the story about the guy OD’ing like your brother.

Simone: It hit really close to home. You know? I -- and you sounded like you did something that you weren't proud of.

Frank: I did.

Simone: Well, we've all been there, Frank. And if your past mistakes have made you into the man that you are today, then maybe it's good that you made them.

Frank: Yeah, I just -- I just don't know if you'd be so quick to say that if you knew the whole story. Ahem.

Simone: Well, I do know that you're someone I can confide in, and I am so thankful for that. Look, I never get to talk about Anthony.

Frank: I know, and you trust me, and --

Simone: Yeah, well -- that's why I want you to understand why sometimes dealing with my father and I -- we're not the easiest people to get along with.

Frank: Well, I guess we all have things that we don't like to talk about, right?

Simone: And I'm really okay with that. I feel like I already know everything I need to know about you.

Woman: Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!

Jake: Mia, I meant what I said. If you're carrying our child, I'm going to do everything I can --

Mia: Listen, you are a great guy, and you would make a wonderful father. But I'm not going to use this baby, if there is one, to trap you.

Jake: I would never think that.

Mia: You may not now, but a few years from now you might -- you might.

Jake: Mia -- I don't know. Maybe you can just call me a throwback to my dad's generation. But I am one man who really wants to have a family.

Mia: I know, I know. I know, but when the time is right.

Jake: Well, I think the time is right when you can share the experience with someone that you love and respect.

Mia: You know you're too good to be true, don't you?

Jake: No, that's not true. I really want to be a father. And I think that having a family with you would be fantastic.

Jake: Thanks for giving me a chance to run. I choose to stay, make it work.

Nurse: Dr. Martin?

Jake: Yeah.

Nurse: These results just came back from the lab.

Jake: Thank you.

Jamie: My mom's not around.

Adam: Oh. Well, maybe I'll catch up with her at "Tempo."

Jamie: She's not there, either. I don't know where she is.

Adam: Oh. Any idea when she'll be home?

Jamie: No.

J.R.: Hey, Dad. How's it going?

Adam: Oh, J.R. I'd be happier if I could locate Brooke.

J.R.: I bet.

Adam: What are you guys up to?

J.R.: Uh -- we're heading to the mall. Why don't you stop back later?

Adam: Actually, I'd rather wait here, see if she shows up. We have some details to discuss about the charity ball.

Jamie: I'm gone.

J.R.: Yeah. I'll see you, Dad.

Brooke: Oh. Jamie, hi. Where you going?

Adam: Our sons have vital business elsewhere. You think you could put up with a few minutes alone with me tonight?

J.R.: Come on, Jamie. We don't want to keep Laurie waiting.

Brooke: Jamie, I thought we were staying home tonight.

J.R.: We're -- we're going to meet Laurie and Joni. She's got the hots for Jamie. We won't be out too late. It's just for coffee.

Brooke: So you're seeing Joni?

Jamie: I'm not -- I'm not seeing her. I just -- we're hanging out. And that's all. I'll see you later.

Brooke: Okay, honey. Have fun.

Jamie: All right.

Adam: Aren't you going to close the door?

Brooke: After you leave, I will.

Adam: Brooke, what the hell were you thinking? How could you tell Tad Martin we were having an affair?

Brooke: Not "having." That we "had." And you cannot exactly call it an affair. A fling, maybe. A mistake -- how's that? Yes -- I made a colossal, stupid mistake again. So let me get my hair shirt and ashes and the tar and feathers, and you call the townsfolk and tell them to light their torches and gather stones while I shave my head.

Adam: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I am sorry. I -- I have no business blaming you for any of this. The whole damn thing was my fault. The sad part is right now I am scared to death.

Mia: My heart is racing.

Jake: Want to sit?

Mia: No. I can't move.

Jake: It's scary. I mean, it's really scary.

Mia: I don't know what I want this to say, okay, so here. You open it.

Jake: Mia? Mia?

Mia: It's a false alarm.

Jake: Well, that's -- that's not a bad thing --

Mia: No, no. It's kind of a relief, you know, because that way nobody has to do anything that they're not really ready for.

Jake: Also gives us a chance to know how we'd feel if that was positive.

Mia: You were great.

Jake: And -- I don't know. Maybe -- maybe we're now forced to take a look at the bigger picture, right? I'm starting to sound like I'm talking to the hospital board.

[Mia laughs]

Jake: You know what? Listen. You know what I'm really trying to say? I love you.

Mia: Do I make things too complicated?

Jake: I think we all make things complicated, you know? We certainly have a lot of details in our lives, things that get in the way.

Mia: You know, some of the things that you consider "details," maybe, are really important to me.

Jake: I know that. I know that. Please. I would never dismiss what you have going on with Frank and William. I understand --

Mia: Frank -- oh, God. I have to tell Frank that he's a father still.

Jake: I'm going to be right there at your side when you do it, too.

[Pager beeps]

Jake: Hmm. Know what? I got to take this. I'm going to call you whenever I get off.

Mia: How about I wait up for you at your place, huh?

Jake: That sounds really good. That's a perfect way to end any day.

Mia: Hmm.

Frank: Forget it. You're being readmitted. I don't want to hear it. You should have a thorough workup after that collapse.

Edmund: I just was tired, so I sat down.

Maria: Don't argue with the doctor.

Frank: Thank you. Hey -- I have to wait to take off until Mr. Grey is readmitted.

Simone: Oh, of course. Yeah. How about I order the pizza, I grab the video and the wine, and all of us are waiting for you at Chez Fargate?

Frank: Yeah. Okay. Great.

Simone: Okay.

Frank: I'll get started on the paperwork.

Maria: Thanks.

Edmund: I hated hearing what Hayward did to you.

Maria: I know. I keep thinking about how much he took from me, but I know that he took just as much from you.

Edmund: If he worms out of this one --

Maria: Oh, no, he won't. Don't -- believe me.

Edmund: You don't understand. He's -- he's slipped through many a loophole.

Maria: Well, he's not going to this time. I'm going to make sure he doesn't.

Edmund: How?

Maria: I'm going to borrow a page out of Hayward’s book. I'm going to lie.

Judge: The district attorney's office has proved nothing --

Jack: Your Honor --

Judge: Mr. Montgomery.

Jack: The district attorney's office didn't have to prove anything. The defendant himself --

Judge: And the testimony offered does not appear to be sufficient to convene a grand jury.

Jack: Your Honor, I don't understand how you can say --

Judge: Mr. Montgomery, I strongly suggest that you go out and find some far more substantial evidence if you intend to take this to trial. This case --

[Judge pounds gavel]

Judge: Is dismissed.

Jack: Well, wasn't that a good time?

Carol: Yeah, like a root canal without Novocain. I'm going home.

Jack: All right, Carol, thank you.

Tad: So, what happens now? Hayward gets away with it again? Where you -- don't wk away from me.

Jack: Tad, I appreciate what you and Maria tried to do, but I told you not to expect miracles in there.

Tad: All I expect is to watch the good doctor get exactly what he deserves, but apparently that's too much to ask of our judicial system.

Jack: And I told you --

Tad: What the hell was that?

Jack: That the 15 minutes I had to put charges together to hold him would not be enough to indict him.

Tad: Aside from the fact that the man buried a 6-month-old cadaver on a public beach --

Jack: Which is a misdemeanor, Tad, a misdemeanor, and he had that man's --

Tad: Are you telling me that Maria’s testimony doesn't count for anything? That a doctor knowingly and intentionally robbed her of her memory --

Jack: Right, which makes her an amnesiac, okay? Makes her sympathetic but not very dependable as a witness. You follow what I'm saying here?

Tad: Okay, fine. So you're just going to quit? Is that it?

Jack: No! Hell, no. This thing is going to trial, believe me.

Tad: I missed something. The judge just said --

Jack: No, I know what the judge just said, Tad. I was standing there. He said I didn't have enough, so I get more. I have a witness that will get this case over, believe me.

Tad: Who? The dead guy's not talking.

Jack: No. But thank goodness Anna Devane is still alive, and I'm not giving up on her.

Kenny: Processing the court papers should only take a few minutes.

Maggie: Wow. That was some day, huh? Okay, I guess I could use something, like a drink or snack from the vending machine -- okay, I'll meet you at the car.

Anna: You were so certain Maria couldn't remember you giving her that injection.

David: Still am.

Anna: Why is that?

David: Because she's right. I did take away her memory.

David: Look, I know you don't want to hear the details because -- well, because we're not married anymore, but --

Anna: Just go ahead.

David: I was aware that the drug I gave Maria would most likely erase her memory.

[Anna sighs]

David: Experiments that I had performed on mammals and primates seemed to indicate that, yes, there was a decline in learned behavior. And Mason -- that's the man I treated in Baltimore -- also suffered memory loss.

Anna: So you chose to wipe out Maria’s memory?

David: No. No. The choice was between life and death. I chose to save her life. With stakes that high, I really didn't think that memory loss was a great price to pay.

Anna: Is that how it was, really?

David: Yes. I didn't inject Maria to keep her from something I had done. I administered the drug to save her life. If I wanted to keep her from anything, I just wouldn't have given her the drug. She wouldn't even be here anymore.

Anna: Surely, once she started to recover, didn't you have to make certain that no one else was going to find out what you'd done?

David: Anna, I didn't keep my experiments and my research secret to avoid punishment. I wanted to keep my work quiet to keep it solely my own. Look, I wasn't about to reveal any information until -- well, until it was worthy of a Nobel Prize. And when I won, I wanted it to be as a solo act. I didn't want any partners or mentors grabbing onto my robes. Come on, really. I mean, Maureen -- Maria -- she caught me burying a cadaver. I could've talked my way through that. The funny thing is she didn't realize that she was holding higher cards. I mean, she could've exposed my research before it was ready for review. I wasn't just approaching mere fame, Anna. I was about to assume God-like status. And I couldn't allow just any mere mortal to stand in my way. So, yes, Maria had to remain Maureen Gorman, stashed neatly and secretly away in some remote part of Nevada.

Maria: Edmund -- Edmund, Edmund, you shouldn't even be walking. You should be in your room right now.

Edmund: I want you to do two things for me.

Maria: Yes?

Edmund: I want you to listen to me -- I mean really listen to what I have to say -- and I want you to trust me.

Maria: I do. I -- I thought you knew I trusted you.

Edmund: Okay. I meant what I said about Hayward. I want to rip his lungs out. But you can't lie to put him away.

Maria: Edmund, you've got to be kidding me. He's lied so much, the score wouldn't even be close.

Edmund: But he knows that.

Maria: No, everybody doesn't know what it's like to have thought you were a murderer for five years. He made me suffer every single day that I was away from here, Edmund.

Edmund: I know, and there are dozens of people in this town who will do whatever it takes to put him away.

Maria: No, no, no. I'm going to save that pleasure for myself.

Edmund: You don't have to perjure yourself.

Maria: All I have to do is stand by my statement -- just -- "I recall that David gave me an injection, and before that injection he grilled me about what I had seen that night. And to wipe out my memory, he just had to shut me up."

Edmund: And it's all a big lie.

Maria: And no one can prove it.

Edmund: They won't have to.

Maria: Edmund --

Edmund: We'll know it's not the truth.

Maria: My testimony can put David away. Who's the jury going to believe, that lying psycho or the saintly Maria Santos Grey?

Edmund: Maria wouldn't lie. She would never compromise who she was at her core.

Maria: Well, Maureen Gorman doesn't mind lying for the greater good.

Edmund: I won't let you do it. If I have to, I'll tell them the truth.

Brooke: Only you would go from overbearing bully to a wronged victim in a nanosecond.

Adam: You know me far too well.

Brooke: And don't you forget it.

Adam: I -- I admit that the switch was a strategic move, but the fear is genuine.

Brooke: Poor Adam.

Adam: Tad and Liza are too close.

Brooke: I told you --

Adam: Blasted. If -- if Tad spills to Liza, she's going to use it like a club to beat me over the head at our custody hearing. I'm on thin enough ice as it is.

Brooke: I told you already -- Tad swore that he's not going to say anything.

Adam: What? Maybe he meant that when he said it.

Brooke: Yes, he did.

Adam: When he realizes the power he has over me, he's going to be ringing Liza's doorbell faster than Dick Cheney finds an undisclosed location. There's J.R. -- I have to worry about J.R.

Brooke: He is not going to do anything.

Adam: That's naive, Brooke. Regardless of how much devotion you may harbor for him, he's not to be trusted.

Tad: You know, Adam, it purely tears me up inside to know that a man of your Olympian moral stature thinks so little of me.

Brooke: Tad, we were just --

Tad: I know. You were discussing the power I have over the prince of darkness here and how he -- quite rightly -- is shaking in his handmade Italian loafers.

Adam: Do you always sneak up on people having private conversations?

Tad: Oh, I'm sorry. I saw the limo at the corner. Figured you'd be indulging in a round of browbeating.

Adam: Well, you were wrong, as usual.

Tad: Ah, ah, ah. Don't tick me off, buddy. I'm the one holding the sword over your head.

Brooke: All right -- no, all right? You boys take it outside on the playground or knock it off.

Tad: Gee. We haven't even started the shoving match yet.

Brooke: I mean it. I've already had a lousy enough day. I don't need the two of you locking horns in my living room.

Tad: Yeah, well, don't look at me. The only person in town that I know of with horns is Liza. Oh, I'm sorry, I can't remember. Do you use that expression when it's the husband cheating on the wife?

Brooke: Tad -- I will throw you out of here.

Tad: I take it that because he is here, our son is not?

Adam: That's a brilliant deduction.

Brooke: Adam -- yes, Jamie’s not here.

Adam: You think I'd bring any of this up if Jamie were here?

Tad: I hope not.

Brooke: I can't take this right now, okay?

Tad: You can relax. I have every intention of keeping your dirty little secret.

Adam: Thank you.

Tad: Oh, it's not for you. It's for Brooke. And I'm trying to protect my son. I'm also thinking of your son and your daughter and your wife.

Adam: Yeah. I'm very grateful.

Tad: Well, you just try to keep it that way. And the next time, why don't you try thinking about them for a change? Who knows? You might even be able to keep your pants on. Then you wouldn't end up in a fix like this.

Adam: That's very gracious of you.

Tad: Oh, no. Nobody said anything about being gracious. Matter of fact, I intend to push my little advantage.

Adam: Surprise, surprise.

Tad: If I hear that you have been any less than an ideal husband, my little vow of silence becomes null and void.

Adam: I'll keep that in mind, Tad.

Tad: Well, you roll it around in there a few times on your way back to the castle because I don't want you here when my son gets home.

J.R.: Come on, man. Whatever they're going to do, they're going to do. Or not. You said -- you said -- you said Tad swore it was over, right?

Jamie: Yeah, and parents never lie. So that's going to be okay? Our folks are probably just back at my place playing cards, right?

[J.R. laughs]

J.R.: Strip poker.

Jamie: Jerk.

J.R.: Like you wouldn't have thought of it.

Jamie: Dad's right -- maybe they're just screaming at each other.

J.R.: Maybe. Adults talk better than anybody else. When -- when Tad was married to my mom, that's all they did was talk, talk, talk, and it still didn't make a damn bit of difference.

Jamie: It's all a load. A big, toxic load. Is that when you got into weed?

J.R.: Um -- that's not when I started, but I sure as hell didn't quit then, either.

Jamie: So, you got a few joints on you now?

[Music plays]

Simone: Hmm.

[Knock on door]

Simone: We're having a relaxing evening tonight, doctor -- Mia.

Mia: Hello.

Simone: Hi. Oh, come in.

Mia: Oh, thank you. Oh -- um -- this isn't a good time, is it?

Simone: Are you kidding? This is a boarding house. It's a major traffic jam all the time. What can I do for you?

Mia: Well, actually, I was looking for Frank.

Maria: What is wrong with you? I want justice, Edmund.

Edmund: So do I, but I want you more. Maria found great strength in her faith.

Maria: Great, so I'm supposed to pray and just hope that David gets his?

Edmund: You've started to find your way back. Don't let this make you lose your way.

Maria: You don't know that it will.

Edmund: Remember I asked you before to trust me? Well, the fact is I do know. What you have to gain here is more important than anything else.

Maria: I don't know. I just -- I don't want him to get away with it.

Edmund: He made you forget your name. Don't let him make you forget who you are. Because if -- if you do, then he's won, no matter what happens in that courtroom. Now, what happened to you, what happened to us -- the hurt -- it's done. It's over. I want us to move on. Let the D.A. and everybody else who hates Hayward -- let them have him. You have so, so many better things to do. I blew it, didn't I?

Maria: Sky-high.

David: Aren't you going to say anything?

Anna: Why?

David: Come on, Anna. What are you thinking?

Anna: What am I thinking? Let me see. What am I thinking? This past year, I got married, got pregnant, got divorced, tried to put you in jail, decided to quit my job so that I wouldn't have to, watched you drug guards, lie, destroy evidence, lie, lie, only to discover, quite literally, where the body was buried. And in all that time, it never occurred to you to tell me the truth?

David: I'm finally learning how to share?

Anna: Terrific. You might want to work on your timing, like when it's appropriate to tell a joke.

David: Come on, Anna. You said yourself that you didn't want to know any details, right? I'm just telling you now because -- well, because, frankly, I don't have much of a choice, do I?

Anna: Oh, thank God. I feel so much better. Did you love her?

David: Is it really important?

Anna: No. Not at all.

David: Everything I feared above everything else is -- is happening. And everything I worked so hard for, everything I -- I thought I so desperately wanted, it's about to go up in smoke.

Anna: You set the fire.

David: You're right. I did. Guilty. Amazing thing is, with you by my side, it doesn't really matter. I love you, Anna. I love you more than a Nobel Prize.

[Music plays]

Simone: You want to see Frank? Is it hospital business or something?

Mia: Um --

Frank: Hey. What's up?

Simone: Hi.

Frank: Hi. Something wrong, Mia?

Mia: Wrong? Um -- no, no, nothing's wrong. Uh -- Jake and I were just thinking that -- that you guys might want to go out sometime. You know, we could -- we could double, do dinner. Something like that.

Simone: Sure. Sure, I guess. Frank?

Frank: Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Mia: Great. Okay, great. Uh -- well, you guys look busy, so -- I'll just call you, then.

Frank: Okay.

Mia: All right. Okay.

Simone: Okay.

Frank: See you.

Simone: Have a nice night.

[Door closes]

Simone: Did she seem a little strange?

Frank: Yeah, kind of.

Simone: Yeah. Hmm.

Frank: What's all this?

Simone: Well, oddly enough, everyone's out.

Frank: Even Myrtle?

Simone: Uh-huh. She's at her --

Frank: Wow.

Simone: Bridge game. So I thought that we could take advantage of the privacy.

Frank: Oh.

Simone: What's wrong?

Frank: Nothing. Just, you know, it's like you went through a lot of trouble.

Simone: Well, it's a little more than pizza and a video, but you deserve it.

Frank: Yeah, I just -- I just wish I could do it justice, you know?

Simone: What do you mean?

Frank: I'm burned. I would be no fun.

Simone: Well, I'm not asking you to entertain me.

Frank: I know. But, really, you're sweet, Simone, but I got to crash. Thanks for the thought, though, okay? Thanks.

Anna: So I stole your heart from the Nobel Prize committee. You really know how to sweep a girl off her feet.

David: Just trying my best.

Maggie: Hi.

David: Hey.

Maggie: So, ready to go? Unless there's a reason why we shouldn't.

David: I guess that's up to Anna.

Anna: Ahem.

Maggie: Anna, is everything okay?

Anna: Yeah. As good as it's going to get in this dysfunctional family of ours. Let's go home, wherever that is.

David: Thank you.

J.R.: You want to kick back with some smoke?

Jamie: Yeah. Hey.

J.R.: If I ever hear you say something that stupid again, I swear I'll knock your head off.

Jamie: So drugs are okay for you but not for me?

J.R.: Yeah, they're real okay for me. Watching my friend Ken get dumped outside a hospital like -- like he was garbage?

Jamie: Not everybody gets screwed up.

J.R.: Every time my life hits zero, I think, "How can I go any lower?" I've been there, Jamie. You don't like what's going on at home? Tough it out!

Jamie: You ought to lecture at assemblies.

J.R.: Just know this -- if I ever hear you're doing drugs, I swear I'll kill you before they will.

Jamie: A simple no would be fine. Hey, hey, wait up! Are we going to the mall or what?

Brooke: Jamie was a little stressed. He went out with J.R. He's seeing his girlfriend, Joni. J.R. was teasing him about it.

Tad: Is that right?

Adam: Well, I'll be going. After the charity ball, you and I should maybe steer clear of each other.

Tad: What charity ball?

Brooke: It's a charity costume ball to benefit the shelter that Liza's generously offered to host.

Tad: Well, why can't you two just miss the Christmas rush and start avoiding each other now?

Adam: Because Liza's sponsoring this ball to raise money for Brooke’s charity, and I intend to be by her side.

Tad: Which "her" is that?

Adam: Liza.

Tad: Ah. A costume ball. Terrific. Just what this town needs -- a bunch of co-dependent people running around with masks on. I got an idea. Maybe you could come as a real human being.

Adam: Why don't you give us all a break and stay home?

Tad: And miss the charity event of the season? Not on your life, pal.

Adam: Well, we'll just all pretend everything's normal.

Tad: Yeah, whatever that is.

Brooke: And no one will be the wiser.

Adam: Thank God it's for only one night.

Tad: Amen.

Brooke: What could go wrong?

Tad: How could you possibly tempt fate with a stupid question like that?

>> On the next "All My Children" --

Stuart: That looks like the kind of ring going to make some girl real happy.

Jake: Well, that's exactly what I'm counting on.

Greenlee: Say goodbye to the glamorous life, Kendall. I'm putting you back into the gutter where you belong.

Liza: After this party, Adam is not going to know what hit him.

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