All My Children Transcript Tuesday 6/25/02
>> Previously on "All My Children" --
Brooke: You're mourning Dixie and I dug up --
Tad: The fact that I hurt you. I am happy that you found Edmund, that you love one another.
Anna: You heard Bianca tell Chris that she was going to lie on the stand? You're going to have to prove it.
Liza: Why are you sleeping with my husband?
Stuart: Uh-oh. This is bad, isn't it?
Adam: No, just a slight difference of opinion. Nothing to worry about.
Liza: Of all the lies you've told, that's the biggest.
Bianca: Kendall, put Ryan on. Kendall, come on. Now. I don't have time for --
[Kendall hangs up]
Bianca: You --
Ryan: Who was that?
Kendall: No one. Just wrong number.
Bianca: That idiot. She hung up on me.
Maggie: Oh, big surprise.
Bianca: And now I tried calling her back and she won't answer the phone or she unplugged it or something.
Bianca: So do you mind watching for him a little while? I'll just run over there real fast.
Maggie: Sure. Yeah.
Bianca: Thank you.
J.R.: Oh, man, what did they put in this?
Maggie: Hey, mind if I share your bench?
J.R.: I try not to talk to dead people.
Tad: So, as ridiculous as this little pageant is, right, we're not talking about some fundraiser, right? Hold up -- we're talking about stupid human tricks going live on a network on "The Cutting Edge." Everybody in the world is watching it, including a couple of Laplanders with a satellite dish. And my producer -- very intelligent woman, Liza Colby -- thinks this is a real ratings getter. She strung up 5,000 blue balloons in nets, you know, for the big finale. And I'm thinking -- as the host, I'm so embarrassed. All I could sit there and think of is if I sit there still enough, nobody's going to know that I'm actually doing the damn thing. No lie, we had a woman whose sole act was that she taught her pet monkey to smoke cigarettes. How can it be, I'm sitting next to her chimp doing a Bette Davis impression? And someone starts getting a little bit too frisky with her fire batons, right? I'm talking we've got, like, lighter fluid flying all over the place. And suddenly I look up out of the corner of my eye and my stage manager, Neil, is there, like, making these weird motions like he's waving at a plane. Now, this guy never puts down his doughnut and all of a sudden he's doing, like, "Riverdance" impersonations. I think he's asking me to wave her on, so I stand up and I'm sort of, you know, tapping out a beat and I look down and my pants are on fire.
Tad: Just a second. Hang on just a second. Just discuss. I'll be right back. Hey. Clearly, you didn't get the memo.
Simone: I'm waiting for someone.
Tad: Aren't we all? Until they get here, do you -- would you care to join me and my friends over here? We're having sort of a good time.
Simone: Thanks, but no thanks.
Tad: I'm afraid you're going to have to because this entire zone has been declared a no-wallowing area. See, this is a good joke. I was just telling my friends about the time --
Simone: The time that your pants caught on fire. Yeah, I heard.
Tad: Live television. I'll bet you anything I can make you laugh.
Tad: I'll bet you 20 bucks you cannot guess how this thing ends.
Simone: Hmm. Did it end like this?
Tad: Tastes like rejection.
Kendall: Bianca's not doing enough, she has to harass me at home?
Ryan: Huh? What did you say?
Kendall: Ryan? Ryan, Ryan? Ryan, not now, not now. Please, please. You know I want to, Ryan, but we have to talk. We have to talk about our future.
Ryan: We've got lots of time in the future to talk about our future.
Kendall: No, baby -- no. No, no. Please, please, Ryan -- Ryan, if we don't stop my sister and your father, we're not going to have any future at all.
Stuart: Maybe our good news should wait?
Mia: Liza, you know, you haven't taken all of your medication --
Liza: I have taken my medication! Am I the only honest person in this house?
Marian: Liza, what's happened?
Adam: This is not the time.
Marian: Adam, my daughter is distraught and I want to know why.
Adam: You two have been at the hospital, haven't you? Enzo -- is there any news?
Stuart: Yes. There's news and it's great.
Marian: Enzo has a donor. They're going ahead with the transplant.
Adam: There's a donor? Who is it?
Stuart: Timmy. Tim Dillon.
Marian: His liver's compatible. They've run all the tests.
Stuart: Your grandson's going to be ok, Adam. Did you hear me? Enzo has a second chance at life.
Tad: Thank you. My lady, I give you my word, I was not trying to hit on you. It's just that I'm of in the middle of a no-wallowing campaign.
Simone: Well, I'm into wallowing.
Tad: Honey, be right there, ok? Seriously.
Simone: Your harem's waiting.
Tad: Yeah, it's kind of impressive, isn't it? Anyway, listen, I apologize. Seriously. My heart went out to a fellow wallowee -- wallower. Walla, walla, walla, walla. You know? My problem is I substituted the poor-me lifestyle for a pour-me-another lifestyle. It's not working out too well. Hey, better cut me off, buddy. I'd rather kill myself trying to get this young lady to grin.
Simone: So, Mr. In-demand, are you always so plugged-in?
Tad: Oh, yeah. I'm the king of the world.
Simone: Oh, didn't he end up frozen solid, clinging to a deck chair?
Woman: We're waiting for the rest of your story.
Tad: And you shall have it, gorgeous. On one condition and only one condition -- that my new best friend here joins us. What do you say?
Simone: Oh, no.
Tad: Oh, yeah. Come on, come on, come on. Come on, let's get her in the mood, ladies.
Tad: There you go. You got nothing to lose except a couple premature frown lines.
Simone: Fine. I give up.
Tad: Come on, you're going to have to play catch-up. Anyway, there I was, I'm on fire, and Neil, my stage manager, is farsighted, so he can't read the directions on the fire extinguisher. The best solution my entire staff can come up with is for Mary from wardrobe to come on and start peeling off my pants. Right? So here's the thing. We come back from commercial break and there I am --
Edmund: Want to try it?
Tad: A fabulous rendition of, my hand to God, "Come on, baby, light my fire."
Tad: And all I could do is -- Liza Colby, my producer, made the signal, "Drop the freaking balloons!"
J.R.: Look, I'm not kidding. Just get lost, ok?
Maggie: I take it you knew Frankie. Well, relax, ok? I'm Maggie, all right? We -- she was my twin sister.
J.R.: Oh, damn, this is weird.
Maggie: How well did you know her?
J.R.: I -- I sort of didn't. I mean -- it was messed up.
Maggie: Well, I'd really like to know.
J.R.: Read the trial transcripts, ok?
Maggie: What do you mean, the trial -- you were the guy that she was with that night, the -- the night that she died? Well, can you tell me about the time that you spent with her? Because it would really mean a lot to me.
Ryan: I thought you were the one who was set on making peace with Chris.
Kendall: Well, yeah, like I told you, when I went to make nice, it didn't go so well.
Kendall: Ryan, I heard Bianca tell Chris that she was going to lie about me on the stand.
Ryan: What? No, that can't be right.
Kendall: No, Bianca swore that she would get on that stand and say that she saw me set the fire.
Ryan: There is absolutely no way that Chris would go along with perjury.
Kendall: This wasn't his plan. It's Bianca's plan. All Chris has to do is let her run with it and he comes out looking like a champ. He's got me caged off, out of Erica's life and yours.
Ryan: Uh-uh. He's not the type.
Kendall: Well, maybe not before Erica got her claws into him, but now -- Ryan, we have to stop Bianca.
[Knock on door]
Kendall: If we let her get away with this --
Ryan: Wait, wait, wait. Hey.
Bianca: Who the hell do you think you are hanging up on me like that?
J.R.: Frankie was -- she was real. I mean that. She -- she was generous, but it was really messed up.
Maggie: Yeah, well, it's in the blood.
J.R.: Look, why don't you go on, get yourself some drinks, forget all the bad stuff, ok?
Boy: Alcohol is a depressant. What I brought you will get you so high, life is nothing but happiness.
Maggie: Oh, I take it you guys know each other.
Boy: Now and then. What is it my mom always says? Oh, yeah -- a friend in need is my friend indeed.
J.R.: Just tell me how much I owe you.
Boy: Well, that depends. Are you flying solo, or would the lovely lady like to take a trip, too?
Kendall: You can't barge in here.
Bianca: What is wrong with you? I was calling for Ryan. I was trying to reach Ryan.
Ryan: The wrong number was Bianca.
Kendall: Yes. I couldn't let her talk to you before I did. She's trying to sway you to her side.
Bianca: Kendall, not everything is about you. Listen, Ryan, J.R. is in trouble.
Bianca: He was getting drunk, and when I left him, he was at the pharmacy -- that corner in the park where all the kids score drugs.
Kendall: Gee, Binks, how would you know?
Bianca: Look, we have to do something.
Ryan: All right. Just give me a second. Let me put some clothes on.
Kendall: Only you would race over here at this hour to dump on poor J.R.
Bianca: Kendall, are you really that clueless? J.R. has had a drug problem and his mom just died. I'd like to make sure the same thing doesn't happen to him.
Ryan: Did you leave him alone out there?
Bianca: Maggie's watching him.
Ryan: All right, well, hopefully, she'll stop him from doing something stupid. I'll call you, ok?
Kendall: No, Ryan. I'm not going to let you go with her.
Woman: Listen to you. One lie after another.
Tad: I'm serious! Well, I never. No, no, no. Listen, I give you my word. I have been -- my entire life, I was known in this town as Thaddeus the honest, and I am telling you, the winner of the competition was a woman who managed to sculpt a life-size bust of me completely out of cheddar cheese that she had made on her farm in Wisconsin. That was the winner of the competition. And I think that --
Brooke: This isn't right.
Edmund: Well, he could be in a dark room at home crying.
Brooke: Well, he might as well be because he's hiding his feelings.
Edmund: Well, if it works for him, you know? Why don't you just let him play it his way tonight.
Brooke: Because we have good news about Enzo, and I know, you know, he'd want to hear it.
Edmund: You're the boss -- at least until we're married.
Tad: Now, I'm here till Thursday. Remember to tip your waiter.
Simone: Come on, please. That whole pageant story -- that's bogus, right?
Tad: No, no.
Simone: Come on.
Tad: No, no. I kid you not. That is the absolute truth or my name isn't Thaddeus the truth.
Simone: Wait. You said your name was Thaddeus the honest.
Tad: That I lied about. So kill me, but -- but I did get you to have a better time, didn't I?
Simone: Yes, you did, and I'm sorry that I drenched you earlier.
Tad: No sweat. Any time you ever want to waste a drink, I'm your man. Ladies, here's to letting off stress.
Simone: I'll drink to that.
Brooke: Hi. What's a nice guy like you doing in a place like this?
Marian: What on earth got into Adam?
Liza: It's hard to guess. Adam's been so unpredictable lately.
Stuart: Adam's feelings scare him sometimes. I'll go see if I can help him.
Marian: Ok, darling. Which brings us back to the tension in the room when Stuart and I walked in.
Mia: Marian, I think that this is something that Liza and I can straighten out.
Liza: You know, maybe I should just deal with it one-on-one with Mia, Mama.
Marian: Fine. I'll go straighten out Colby's dress-up trunk and leave you two to straighten t whatever the problems are between the two of you.
Mia: Liza, hear me out. I think I know exactly how Adam's cufflink landed in my bed.
Adam: I've been mapping out Enzo's life since the day he was born. He's going to go into the business, run it someday with Colby.
Stuart: He may do it.
Adam: Hayley would hate this.
Stuart: No, she wouldn't.
Adam: Oh, yes, she'd see it as a reflection of my own ego.
Stuart: She would see it as her father passing the torch to her son one day.
Adam: No, it wouldn't be enough. I could never repay her for all the things I didn't do for her.
Stuart: Would you stop feeling so guilty? Hayley's happy. Why don't you concentrate on Enzo and Colby and give them the best childhoods any kid could ever want?
Adam: I'm going to give Colby the best life that any parent could possibly hope for. I'm never going to lose her. I don't care if Liza leaves me, Colby stays with me.
Stuart: Adam, what are you saying? Liza's not going anywhere. Is she?
Kendall: No, you're not going with her --
Ryan: Could you give us just a second, please?
Ryan: Thanks. This is not about you and Bianca and Chris and the trial, all right?
Kendall: She is going to try to --
Ryan: J.R. is in trouble and he needs me.
Kendall: So do I. I just told you Bianca is set on having me convicted.
Ryan: Stop being so paranoid. Stop being so paranoid. I have to do this. It's ok. Let's go.
Kendall: Oh, God! Bianca whines and moans, and he goes with her? God! I swear, I am going to stop that manipulating little hypocrite if I have to sell my soul to do it. Merry Christmas.
Aidan: I'm sorry. I'm used to driving on the left. Did I damage you?
Kendall: No, I wasn't looking where I was going. Is your stuff ok?
Aidan: Yeah, it's a bunch of clothes. You're in a hurry. I can gather this.
Kendall: It's probably lucky for me that we bumped into each other.
Aidan: How's that?
Kendall: Well, I was just getting ready to go and dig my own grave.
Chris: The first leg of this job is going to be running telephone lines from the office up into the penthouse.
Chris: So whoever has access to these lines will be privy to every detail in Ms. Kane's life, private and professional. Goes for her daughter Bianca, too.
Anna: Concentrate. Without proof that Erica and Chris have set Bianca up to lie about you on the stand, there's really nothing I can do.
Kendall: She will be.
Aidan: I'll see you.
Kendall: No, wait.
J.R.: Solo. How much?
Maggie: And will that be one-way or round trip?
Boy: Hey, you want to hit the party after this?
Maggie: So is this why you wanted to ditch me? To hang out with this creep?
Boy: Harsh. We could all go to the party.
Ryan: You're not actually going anywhere with this loser are you, J.R.?
Boy: What is this, an intervention?
J.R.: Ryan, what are you doing here? Oh, thanks, Bianca, for ratting me out. You're a real friend.
Ryan: Yeah, actually, she is a real friend, but you probably wouldn't know that, judging by who you're hanging out with these days.
Boy: Hey, he called me. I'm a businessman.
Ryan: No. No, actually, you know what you are? You're scum, and if I ever catch you dealing drugs anywhere around here, the cops are going to pick up one busted-up pusher. Do you understand me?
Ryan: Do you understand? Get out of here!
J.R.: I don't need a watchdog.
Ryan: Actually, you know what? You do. You really do. Or an attendant at a drug rehab center.
J.R.: Thanks for the wonderful evening, Ryan.
Ryan: Come here, come here.
J.R.: What? You going to threaten me now?
Ryan: No, you're not going anywhere, not until you and I get a few things straight.
Tad: Brooke. Edmund. This just keeps getting better and better. Hey, come on, join the party. What's it going to be?
Brooke: Oh, nothing for me.
Tad: No, no, no -- I know, I know, I know -- a horny gator. Remember? New Orleans, right? I got a new one for you. Edmund, how do you make a horny gator?
Edmund: I think you've got it the other way around. I'm still not touching it.
Brooke: Listen, you mind if I hang here for a little while?
Edmund: I'll see you at home, angel of mercy.
Brooke: Thank you.
Edmund: Aren't you supposed to have an article on my desk in the morning?
Simone: Finished, polished, and it's there.
Edmund: Good. I look forward to reading it.
Simone: Tad, I got to take off. Thank you for cheering me up.
Tad: Hey, anytime.
Simone: Good night, Brooke.
Tad: Here we go. So, baby, do you have any idea how many depressed people there are in Pine Valley who need cheering up?
Brooke: Is that why you're here?
Tad: Beats the hell out of sitting at home.
Brooke: Well, you know, as strange as it sounds, I sort of like sitting at home.
Tad: That's because you got somebody there sitting, waiting for you.
Tad: You think for five minutes I'd be here if I had somebody sitting at home waiting for me?
Mia: You know what? It just hit me when Marian mentioned Colby's dress-up trunk. She's always dragging that thing in my room so we can play dress-up with your old dresses and Adam's old hats and shirts.
Liza: And cufflinks.
Mia: Why not? I mean, one time I caught her wearing my hospital ID badge. She could have dropped it in my bed when we were playing trampoline circus clowns. I don't know, Liza. It's the only explanation that I have.
Liza: And I guess it's possible.
Mia: Liza --
Liza: So I've accused you of something that makes no sense.
Mia: Liza --
Liza: And you shouldn't -- you shouldn't forgive me.
Mia: Look, you've been through an awful lot.
Liza: You're my sistery friend, my champion. For Adam, too, and I've been horrible to you. I've been so mean, and if I've hurt you, I really -- I don't think self.
Mia: It's ok.
Liza: I've been off. I really haven't been myself lately.
Mia: Dr. Greenberg says you're fine.
Liza: Yeah, but --
Mia: No "buts." You have so much. You're smart and you're beautiful and you have a family, your husband, who thinks the sun rises and sets depending on whether or not you're in the room. You should focus on that, ok? Not the "what ifs."
Liza: I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Stuart: Adam, are you afraid Liza's going to leave you?
Adam: I didn't mean to -- I don't know what I meant.
Stuart: You had such a hard time going through Liza's surgery and it's only natural that you think you might lose her, but she's been spared, and Enzo has been spared. This has been some wild day. The whole day of compassion thing. I got my Cindy back, and then I lost her all over again. That just kind of shook me up. Maybe it shook you up, too.
Adam: Stuart, I wonder what life would be like if I could see it through your eyes.
Stuart: You had so much stress worrying about Liza and then Enzo, but you can relax now.
Adam: It's not that easy.
Stuart: Well, it'll get better as you get used to it. I mean, when things get pleasant and peaceful and good around here. It's going to be all right, Adam. They're going to be all right. Liza and Colby and you. You're going to be fine. Liza's not going to leave you.
Liza: Not now or ever, if it's up to me.
Stuart: I'm going to go see if I can find Marian.
Liza: I need to be able to make this up to you, Adam. I need you to forgive me.
Bianca: Ryan? Thanks.
J.R.: Thank you, Bianca, for screwing everything up.
Ryan: I don't get you, J.R. I really don't.
J.R.: I wanted to chill, ok? I'm entitled to that.
Ryan: "My mommy left me, so I get to deep-six myself if I want." Is that what this is? Look, man, I lost my mom this year, too, and Gillian died this year, too, and I loved her more than I love my life.
J.R.: So we're both losers.
Ryan: Look, stuff happens, you know? Horrible, horrible, unbelievable stuff that you don't expect, you don't deserve, but it just shows up in your life, but you can't stop it. You can't control that.
J.R.: I'm sick of this.
Ryan: I hear you. I do. All you feel now -- you feel loss, right? But good things, good stuff -- that will get added, too. Good stuff, good people. Good things will happen, will come into your life, and they'll help change your life and turn it around.
J.R.: If you're lucky.
Ryan: No, if you stick with it and you let life even the score. All right, look at me. It happened to me. I got a second chance. If I tell you how many times, how many ways I could have screwed everything up, but there is no way I'm ever letting go of what I've got now.
Kendall: You can't run off.
Aidan: Did I miss something?
Kendall: No, I just realized that I know you. Weren't you at the Valley Inn earlier? See, I thought I recognized you. You were with that guy that's dating Erica Kane. Chris somebody --
Aidan: Stamp. Stamp.
Kendall: Stamp, Stamp, right. You were studying plans with him. Are you getting ready to design some new Kane building to dominate the Pine Valley skyline?
Aidan: Nothing quite so impressive. Ms. Kane just wants to remodel a space for a penthouse.
Kendall: Well, if it's for Erica, it's going to be impressive and extravagant.
Aidan: You know Ms. Kane?
Kendall: Doesn't everyone? So, do you like working with her?
Aidan: I'll let you know. I've got to get the job first.
Kendall: So you're not an architect?
Aidan: No. I'm a carpenter.
Kendall: Ooh. I always thought that was a wonderful profession. It's creative but practical.
Aidan: Yeah, it's a living. Well, sometimes.
Kendall: But, I mean, this is a great project. I mean, Erica Kane's penthouse, and you're in it from the start? That's exciting.
Aidan: If you say so.
Kendall: Well, maybe I could stop by sometime, watch you work.
Aidan: Why the devil would you want to do that?
Brooke: This has been a very hard time for you.
Tad: Yeah, it has, but that's just what they say about hard times, you know -- it's life. Nobody gets out of here alive, but I am happy to say I am in full recovery mode. What about you, sweetheart? You want another amorous reptile?
Brooke: No, I have to get home. Can I -- can I give you a lift?
Tad: Oh, I knew you were going to do that. No, no, no. Take a look around you, ok? I've gotten all these people in a great mood, and I owe them a good time. Let it never be said that Tad Martin was classless enough to just take off on all his peeps.
Stuart: That's some couple, huh? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you.
Mia: It's ok. How are Adam and Liza?
Stuart: They're having a little rough patch right now, but when you've got the kind of commitment they have, well, you work it out. Just, you know, for better or worse.
Mia: The way it should be.
Stuart: I'd be lost if I didn't have my Marian, just like Adam would be lost without Liza.
Mia: Yeah, well, there's nothing like family.
Stuart: Yeah. Sometimes there's a special person that's, you know, not really family. You have someone like that? Someone to share the good and the bad?
Mia: No. No, I don't.
Stuart: Not even Jake?
Mia: Jake and I aren't exactly on the best terms right now.
Stuart: Oh. Well, he's a great guy. You'll probably work it out tomorrow.
Mia: No, I won't be seeing him tomorrow.
Stuart: Why? You're taking the day off?
Mia: Actually, I'm taking them all off. Adam asked me to quit my job at the hospital, so I quit.
Adam: You've been through a terrible ordeal, Liza.
Liza: All the more reason why I should treasure what I have. I have a wonderful sister, and I have an incredible husband, and to accuse you of cheating with Mia of all people, I'm -- I'm so ashamed.
Adam: Liza, don't. Please, don't.
Liza: No, I repaid your loyalty with suspicion and doubt. Never again. I swear that from now on I will trust you completely.
Adam: Hearing the good news about Lorenzo puts a different perspective on everything, doesn't it?
Adam: From now on, makes past sins seem trivial when you compare it to losing someone you love.
Liza: I felt really alone, and I hated that.
Adam: I did, too.
Liza: We're -- we're not alone, though. We don't ever have to be alone and -- if the tumor grows back --
Adam: It's not the tumor. It never was the -- the tumor.
Liza: Do you know something that I don't? What is it?
Tad: Oh! This is good. This is so good, hmm? I have missed this.
Brooke: You know, what are friends for?
Tad: Ooh. I -- I missed that a lot.
Brooke: Um -- let's get you home. Ok?
Tad: Yeah. That's, unfortunately, a very good idea.
Tad: Ladies, I'm sorry, but it's -- it's time for me to hit the road, ok?
Tad: You see that? You see what you did? It's -- it's her fault. It's all her fault.
Brooke: Ok. Say good night.
Tad: Say good night.
Brooke: Yes, say good night.
Tad: You realize I'm going to throw up in your car.
Brooke: You have to get in the back seat.
Stuart: Why would Adam ask you to give up your work at the hospital?
Mia: Look -- you know, he just wants me to help out with Liza's recovery, and then there's Colby.
Stuart: Well, yeah, but you don't have to do everything Adam asks.
Mia: I just wanted to do what I could. They've given me so much.
Stuart: Well, yeah, but, see, Adam -- Adam has a way of making people feel that they owe him. So be careful that you don't end up giving him more than you meant to.
Liza: Do you know something? Please.
Adam: No, no, no. I'm -- all I meant to say was that it's all of the stress and the worrying that has caused this irrational behavior.
Liza: So you don't think that the tumor's growing back?
Adam: No, no, I don't think that, and neither do the doctors, and if you want to hear it from them, I'll drive you to their office in the morning.
Liza: No. I trust you. You're so good to me. You must love me a lot.
Adam: Oh, God help me. I do love you. I do love you, more than you'll ever know.
Kendall: Do you not know how incredibly famous Erica Kane is? I mean, this apartment is going to be photographed for every magazine, featured on every TV show. Of course, I would love to see it as a work in progress.
Aidan: Yeah, well, I don't even have clearance.
Kendall: Oh, you will. I get the feeling that you always get what you're after.
Aidan: Are you this encouraging to everybody?
Kendall: I am the Pine Dump Welcome Wagon.
Aidan: Welcome --
Kendall: It's an American thing. You're new, so I say "Welcome." Then I introduce you to the bugs and mice and I show you the busted soda machine and make you feel right at home.
>> On the next "All My Children" --
Anna: You give me one good reason I shouldn't throw you in jail.
Mary: Oh, my God!
Greenlee: What am I going to do, Mommy?
Vanessa: I want to know what you are doing to stop this wedding.
Aidan: Yeah, I'll take the job. When do I start?
Chris: How's today?
Ryan: Kendall, we can't keep going on like this.