AMC Transcript Tuesday 3/26/02


 All My Children Transcript Tuesday 3/26/02

By Suzanne
Proofread by Kathy

>> Previously on "All My Children" --

Adam: I'm sorry, but you're not well.

Liza: I'm not going to leave Colby and go to the hospital.

Anna: The grand jury convenes on Friday. That's when you'll find out if your wife will stand by you.

Opal: Kendall is just so darn vengeful.

Erica: Yeah, well, she has got to be stopped.

Ryan: I can't give you me -- not now, maybe not ever.

David: Is all forgiven?

Anna: This might not be the best time.

David: This could be the best time we've ever had.

David: I was really lonely last night. Can we please just forget that we argued and concentrate on making up? Let me make love to you, Anna.

Anna: Dr. Hayward --

David: I really am in the doghouse.

Anna: This is an official visit. I have a warrant to search your premises.

David: Is this some form of kinky foreplay?

Anna: Afraid not. Gentlemen? Thank you.

Adam: Liza? Liza. Hey.

Liza: What?

Adam: Hey.

Liza: Adam.

Adam: Hi. You fell asleep with Colby in here last night. I didn't have the heart to wake you.

Liza: Colby.

Adam: Colby's fine. She's fine.

Liza: At the park.

Adam: Yeah, no, you're home now, and Colby's upstairs in her bed safe and sound. She's fine. I just looked in on her. All right? Now, where are you going?

Liza: I'm going to make sure that she's all right!

Adam: She's safe and sound, Liza. She's fine. She's not going to nursery school this morning, so you can see her when we get back.

Liza: Back from where?

Adam: I've got an appointment for you this morning to see Dr. Greenberg.

Liza: No. I'm -- I'm not going to the doctorís. I told you last night I'm not going to the hospital.

Adam: Liza, you're not well.

Liza: You would like that, wouldn't you?

Adam: Why are you afraid of a simple examination?

Liza: I'm not afraid of a simple examination. You will get them to say that something's wrong with me.

Adam: Why would I do that?

Liza: Because you'll do anything to get custody of Colby, including having me put away!

Mia: Whoa.

Jake: Oh, I'm sorry. Hey.

Mia: Hey. Good thing the E.R.'s downstairs. You're a hit-and-run waiting to happen.

Jake: Yeah, yeah. Well, I just need to learn to look up every once in a while. You here to see Liza?

Mia: I'm on break.

Jake: Ah. Yeah, well, you know, Adamís bringing her in for an examination.

Mia: Good. So you heard what happened in the park yesterday?

Jake: Liza lost track of Colby.

Mia: Liza didn't even remember she was supposed to be watching Colby. When's she coming in?

Jake: Soon as Adam can get her in here. Listen, I will be back later for her appointment, okay?

Mia: Important Chief of Staff business to attend to?

Jake: Actually, just a meeting with one of the residents.

Mia: What's his name?

Jake: Why does it matter?

Ryan: I make a killer margarita. That's not the point

Bartender: Come on, man. My wife might go into labor any minute.

Ryan: Fine. I'll cover for you.

Bartender: Great. I'll show you the inventory list in the booze storeroom.

Ryan: All right. Remind me again the policy for bartenders drinking?

Bartender: You're cut off when you're on duty, man.

Ryan: Yeah, well, you better name the kid after me.

Chris: Thank you.

Kendall: This thing needs a running board or a sidecar.

Chris: How lazy are you?

Kendall: I am not lazy. Here we go.

Chris: Whoa, whoa --

Kendall: Ooh.

Chris: Whoa, whoa.

Kendall: All right.

Chris: All right, I can handle it from here.

Kendall: Okay. We will have steak, rare, two eggs, scrambled, and beer, domestic -- whatever's on tap.

Chris: And could I get some salsa on the side, please?

Waitress: Sure.

Chris: Thank you. So, what are we celebrating?

Kendall: I'm performing my moral act of duty. I'm showing a hero a good time.

Chris: You got to be kidding me.

Kendall: Nope. And besides, we deserve a little fun after being trapped at Myrtle's house of wax.

Chris: Hey, hey, hey, hey. Easy on Myrtle. She's a great old broad.

Kendall: Well, while she was forcing you to play canasta, I thought, "He's a poker man."

Chris: Yeah, well, I left my wallet at Myrtle's, unless you're willing to take my marker.

Kendall: I'll take the shirt off your back -- literally. So, what do you say, Stamp? You up for a rousing game of strip poker?

Donald: Poor Kendall Hart. Haven't I painted her as the suffering martyr/victim of her vengeful, rabid, she-wolf mama? Come on, come on. What's the verdict?

Erica: Delicious. I can't get enough.

[Erica and Donald laugh]

Mia: Well, it doesn't matter to me. It's just that I'm going to be working with them, so I thought I should know their name, and I'm really bad with names, so --

Jake: Start learning now. That's all right.

Mia: Might as well, yeah.

Jake: Yeah.

Mia: You know?

Jake: Well, actually, I shouldn't say anything about any of the residents yet because, well, I wasn't top man when they were matched with P.V.H., so --

Mia: Oh, so -- so you might be making some changes, then?

Jake: We'll see, we'll see. I need to interview all of them before the official acceptances go out. I'll catch you later.

Mia: Jake -- what do you think is wrong with Liza?

Jake: Well, we'll certainly know more about that when she sees Arnold Greenberg.

Mia: Wait, Dr. Greenberg?

Jake: Mm-hmm.

Mia: Isn't he the neurologist?

Jake: Well, that's the best place to start.

Mia: It's that serious?

Jake: Well, we have to rule out the possibility, you know, that --

Mia: Oh, God, Jake, I mean, that can't be right because she's so young and healthy and she's -- she takes good care of herself and everything.

Jake: Don't go there. It's premature. It's very possibly unnecessary, okay?

Mia: I just found her.

Jake: I know, I know. Listen, so like I said -- don't worry about it. I don't want you to jump to conclusions, okay?

Mia: Oh, God, Jake. It's just that, I mean, we just started getting to know each other. And Colby -- she's just -- just a little angel, you know? She really adores her mom. I mean, they are my family, you know. I didn't think that they mattered to me so much, but they do.

Jake: Hey.

Adam: Liza, I just want to get you the help you need.

Liza: No, no, you want me locked away and lobotomized somewhere!

Adam: For God's sakes, Liza.

Liza: No, you do because you want what you want! You want to get custody of Colby! It's not going to happen! You are not going to take her away from me!

Adam: I was very harsh with you yesterday in the park. That was before I realized --

Liza: What, before you realized you needed to have me committed?

Adam: No.

Liza: You know, you did this to Dixie. It's not going to work with me. I am smarter than your Pigeon Hollow ex-wife.

Adam: Liza, I love you. I love you. I would never think of taking Colby away from you.

Liza: Of course you would say that.

Adam: It took me half my life to find you. We created Colby together. I would gladly die for either one of you.

Liza: So where was all this devotion last night when you were accusing me of hiding her away from you?

Adam: I was -- I was terribly frightened and horribly mistaken.

Liza: Yeah, well, you're accusing me of what you're doing.

Adam: I know, Sweetheart. I just -- I -- you were acting so oddly. You've been short-tempered and erratic.

Liza: Yeah, well, I've had a lot on my mind.

Adam: Yeah, like the money that has been disappearing from Chandler Enterprises? I know about that. I know you fired Doug Mitchell, who is the best financial officer in the state.

Liza: You know what? I don't have to defend myself to you.

Adam: No, no. I'm just trying to explain why I jumped to the wrong conclusion. I -- I knew about Lavery, that you'd seen Lavery. I knew that you were siphoning off money. I thought you were going to take Colby and leave me! Then when I accused you -- well, I -- I'm just so sorry. I know that you would never risk Colby's future or happiness. But, Sweetheart, you have to see a doctor. Let me -- let me drive you to the hospital.

Liza: No. No, I just need some aspirin. My purse.

Adam: Liza, you don't know what you need because you don't know what's wrong with you. My God, we'll -- we'll see Colby on our way out if you want, but -- and she'll still be here when you get back.

Liza: I'm not afraid she's going to be gone.

Adam: Well, then, what's stopping you from finishing this one thing?

Liza: What -- what if -- what if they can't do anything for me?

Adam: We're going to find out what's wrong and we're going to fix it. That's it. That's it. But first you have to see a doctor. Colby deserves us at our best. So do it for her.

Donald: Really? Is it everything you expected?

Erica: Oh, it's much worse. Really, Donald, no one rakes muck like you.

Donald: On behalf of trash mongers everywhere, I thank you.

Erica: Uh-huh. I'll tell you, after reading this, even I hate me.

Donald: You know, you should really pursue writing because you're very, very gifted.

Erica: Yeah, my autobiography proved that. Maybe it's time for volume II.

Donald: Hey, let me know if you need a collaborator because this was fun.

Erica: Yeah, don't bet on co-writer credit, Donald.

Donald: No, I was just checking, you know. But what does this do for you, this Erica-bashing?

Erica: Well, that's none of your concern. I gave you an exclusive.

Donald: And I wasn't supposed to ask any questions, but I am a reporter.

Erica: Yeah, which is exactly why I'm not telling you a thing. Just run along and bask in your reflected glory.

Donald: I have ways of finding out everything.

Erica: Yeah -- is it worth it, Donald? Is it worth it to risk our new-forged friendship and your career?

Donald: You wear ruthlessness so well.

Erica: You just remember what you were paid and don't divulge your source.

Donald: Oh, come on, come on. Even I have some standards.

Erica: Liar.

Donald: Oh.

Erica: Jack, hi.

Jack: Hi.

Erica: My goodness. What are you doing here at this time of morning?

Jack: Well, on such a beautiful day, I decided to walk to work.

Erica: Well, me, too. It is glorious, isn't it?

Jack: Yes, it is. You seem to be in an awfully good mood considering.

Erica: "Considering"?

Jack: Considering you were just having a chat with a man I consider to be the scum of the earth. Now, you tell me -- what could you and Donald have to talk about?

Chris: You deal from the bottom of the deck?

Kendall: No, I do not. Cut.

Chris: Well, I got to warn you, if my cards run cold, these pants don't come off.

Kendall: Well, if mine run hot, I'll be glad to help. Ryan is spying on us.

Chris: Here?

Kendall: Right.

Chris: Ryan! Come on over. Guess what.

Ryan: What?

Chris: Miss Hart challenged me to early-bird strip poker.

Ryan: Back to games so soon.

Kendall: A girl can't win if she doesn't play.

Ryan: Well --

Chris: Ooh, here's the food. Get the cards.

Waitress: Eggs, two brews, and a steak on the side.

Chris: Thank you.

Ryan: Well, well, well -- cholesterol and alcohol. That's exactly what a gunshot victim needs.

Chris: Yeah, well, she seemed to be thinking it was more therapeutic than stretch, flex, stretch, flex --

Kendall: You're trying to bore Chris into walking.

Ryan: But you're going to fix that, aren't you?

Kendall: I'm going to give it a shot. Here's to you, 007. Hey, she forgot the salsa!

Chris: Let it go. It's no big deal.

Kendall: No way. The salsa?

Ryan: At least she's taking real good care of you.

Chris: Well, she's managed to fit me into her busy schedule.

Ryan: Hmm.

Chris: Come on, let's eat. Sit down with us.

Ryan: No, no, no, no.

Kendall: After this, I'm taking Chris club wheeling.

Ryan: Isn't it a little early?

Kendall: For who?

Ryan: Well, not you, obviously.

Kendall: Ryan thinks I'm using you.

Chris: Really? Thank you. How exactly?

Kendall: To crush my mommy dearest. Come on. Do it, Stamp. Tell Ryan he's right.

Anna: All right, I'll see you back at the station. Thank you.

David: Hauling the evidence downtown, are they?

Anna: Well, we found precisely what I expected.

David: Not a damn thing?

Anna: Correct.

David: Hmm. So you're saying a stray sock under my bed isn't going to be used against me?

Anna: I'm sorry if we inconvenienced you.

David: I could think of a lot of other things I'd rather be doing with my time.

Anna: So can I. Thanks for cooperating. David -- let me out.

David: You find this exciting, don't you?

Anna: Conducting a search and coming up empty-handed? No.

David: Marching in, flashing your bright, shiny badge around like a shield, ordering the boys in uniform around, hoping that you'll see me squirm?

Anna: No, that's ridiculous.

David: No, come on. You love it.

Anna: Serious charges have been leveled against you, David, and it's my job to find evidence to support them or reason to drop them.

David: You're trying to get back at me because you think that I betrayed you with Dixie.

Anna: No, I'm not.

David: Yes, you are. Dixie is pregnant. I helped her move to Europe to avoid pressure from Tad. That is all.

Anna: Well, it's never over with her, is it?

David: Dixie is not a threat to you, Anna, or us. Now, if you can't believe that, we don't stand a chance.

Anna: You know this search had nothing to do with Dixie. Are you threatened by my authority?

David: Controlling parking fines. I'm trembling.

Anna: No, really. I've been thinking about it. Maybe these needy little wilting flowers are more your speed.

David: Uh-huh. Yeah, sure. That's why I married 007, right?

Anna: Okay. So then you realize the position you're in, being on the wrong side of the law? You've handed over a lot of control to me. There's not an awful lot you can do about it.

Kendall: Believe him, Chris. I'm only hanging with you to stick it to Erica. What else could it be?

Ryan: I'm not getting into this.

Chris: Look, pass the salsa, and I don't want to talk about Erica. Thank you.

Kendall: Me, neither. Instead let's play a really fun game -- score Kendallís evil methods for screwing her she-snake mommy.

Chris: Listen, Kendall, have a sip of your beer and leave Erica out of this. You got me?

Kendall: A 3.0 for edge work, like crashing a scene. 6.0 for embarrassing stunts of self-pity.

Ryan: What are you looking at? Count me out.

Kendall: What are you afraid of? That I'll come on to you again?

Ryan: No, Kendall.

Kendall: You say hello to a fellow pine dump guest and he thinks you want to tickle his six-pack.

Ryan: You are so outrageously annoying.

Kendall: Me? You've been out of commission so long, you mistake pity for a pass.

Ryan: Oh, just give it a rest!

Kendall: Well, why don't you mind your own business --

Ryan: You know what?

Kendall: Stop judging me.

Ryan: You know what? Let's just save the rematch for another day, all right, because I'm not the mood.

Chris: A lot of noise between you two.

Kendall: There's nothing between Ryan and me.

Chris: Oh, bull.

Kendall: Donít. Don't read my mind.

Chris: More salsa?

Kendall: Instead, just tell this whole damn burg to mind their own freaking business.

Chris: I'm going to leave that up to you. But thanks for the breakfast. It's good.

Kendall: Repay the favor.

Chris: "Repay the favor"? Oh, oh. Oh. So you mean I owe you? Ryan was right?

Kendall: About what?

Chris: You're trying to use me. I mean, did you think neither one of us would notice?

[Chris chuckles]

Kendall: I don't know. Maybe I didn't. But you used to work here, right?

Chris: Undercover.

Kendall: But you and Mateo are tight.

Chris: We respect each other.

Kendall: Then be the first person who's ever pulled strings for me.

Kendall: Score me this job.

Erica: Donald Steele is like a mosquito. You know, he's irritating, he's annoying, but ultimately unimportant.

Jack: So why waste your time on him?

Erica: Here.

Jack: Ow. Ow. That's a nasty way to start the day.

Erica: Yes, well, I told Donald Steele exactly what a low life form I think he is. And you know what? Now I'm just ready to put it behind me.

Jack: Well, good luck with this out on the stands.

Erica: I demanded a retraction, of course.

Jack: And?

Erica: Donald Steele refuses. He is standing by his source.

Jack: You really think he has a source?

Erica: He claims he does. Look, I could sue him, of course, you know, but I just -- I really feel that I've had enough of court for a little while.

Jack: For a lifetime, I would imagine.

Erica: Please sit down with me and tell me, how is Bianca? You are keeping up with her, aren't you?

Jack: Well, did I not promise you that I would? She's well. We just had breakfast together, in fact.

Erica: You did?

Jack: Yes.

Erica: Oh, great. And how is she? Did -- did my name come up?

Jack: She's doing very well. She has a great appetite, and she and Kendall seem to be getting along all right.

Erica: What, are you trying to make my head explode?

Jack: I -- Bianca happens to think Kendallís on the up and up, Erica.

Erica: Because Bianca is so trusting. I mean, witness the Frankie debacle.

Jack: I truly feel that if Kendall did try to start something, Bianca would stop it.

Erica: Bianca has never been up against pure evil before.

Jack: Sweetheart, they're sisters. They happen to like each other. There -- there is really not much you can do about it.

Erica: Waiting for Kendall Hart to launch her attack is driving me crazy.

Jack: But what you forget is that Bianca has gained real inner strength and wisdom and --

[Phone rings]

Jack: I wish I could find the inventor of the cell phone. Excuse me. Jack Montgomery.

[Erica sighs]

Jack: Agent Hammer, what can I do for you? Well, of course you can use my office, but what's the -- what's the nature of the business? Listen, I was involved in that investigation, and I think you're making a big mistake there. Well, fine, but at least wait for the man to get back on his feet before -- hello? Well, you have a nice day, too, you son of --

Erica: That was Agent Hammer of the F.B.I.?

Jack: Correct.

Erica: He's Chris Stamp's superior.

Jack: You're two for two.

Erica: What did he want?

Jack: Office space -- but I think you heard that.

Erica: Yes, and what else?

Jack: Confidentiality. I'll see you later.

Erica: This was about the proteus case. And Chris?

Jack: This was business, Erica -- my business. See you later.

Erica: Chris is my business.

David: You win, Chief. I'm entirely at your mercy.

Anna: Put your hands down.

David: But keep them where you can see them, right?

Anna: Yes, that's not a bad idea.

David: What I'd like to do isn't illegal -- unless, of course, it's against your will.

Anna: You're not funny.

David: And you're entirely too serious, Chief.

Anna: Stop calling me that.

David: Why? What's the matter? You don't like the reference to your source of power?

Anna: Well, it's a lot more honest than an accidental pregnancy being used as a weapon.

David: When are you going to stop throwing Dixie at me?

Anna: When she stops being a problem.

David: All right, look, cuff me. Go ahead. Take me in. You have all the answers. You know that I'm guilty of everything, right?

Anna: Yes, probably.

David: All right, let's get it over with. Go ahead; testify against me at the grand jury hearing. Throw me away for life. You can't do it, can you?

Anna: Watch me.

David: Anna, donít. I need you. I really do.

Anna: Is that supposed to reduce me to jelly?

David: That's not what I'm trying to do.

Anna: You are the least needy person I know.

David: There's a big difference between being needy and needing someone.

Chris: Left, in here. You know, you didn't have to bring me all the way in.

Kendall: You'll thank me later. So, how come you're meeting with an F.B.I. bigwig in Jackson's office?

Chris: Because Jackson's the D.A.

Kendall: Hmm. Turn around.

Chris: You know, your bossiness is starting to remind me of someone.

Kendall: Say her name and I will use this as a noose for you.

Chris: Ah. What's that, a souvenir from your date last night?

Kendall: Very funny. Put it on.

Chris: For what?

Kendall: Oh, for God's sakes. I heard you talking to Myrtle last night.

Chris: Oh. You know, you're going to flatten your head if you keep pressing your head against those doors.

Kendall: You think this guy Hammer's going to promote you.

Chris: Oh, you're full of surprises.

Kendall: So you want to look good in the newspaper, don't you?

Chris: It's not so bad.

Kendall: What, is the color all wrong?

Chris: Well, it's not what I would have chose, but -- was talking about something else.

Kendall: What, Mr. Hammer?

Chris: No, it's something I did and something I said during the cross-examination at Ericaís trial.

Kendall: Well, bygones and all that, and you had a job to do. That tie looks good.

Chris: Gee, thanks.

Kendall: Told you you'd say that. You sure you can get a ride home?

Chris: Not a problem.

Kendall: I'm sure those cops will be carrying you on their shoulders, Mr. "I trapped the drug lord."

Chris: Sorry you're going to miss my triumphant return.

Kendall: Right. Well, I got to go. See you.

Chris: Kendall -- just because your -- Erica assumes the worst about you, that doesn't mean things can't change.

Kendall: Yeah. When hell freezes over.

Liza: Oh.

Adam: Liza, just try to relax. He'll be here.

Liza: Why? What's going on with the doctor? I mean, he's not coming. Why don't we just go and come back some other time?

Adam: I'll find him. I'll find him, okay? Don't -- don't -- don't let her get away.

Liza: Oh.

Adam: Fine.

Mia: So, how's Colby doing?

Liza: Oh, she was sleeping when we left. You just have no idea. I mean, what could have happened to me? Child -- children -- they get abducted every day.

Mia: I know, Liza, but nothing happened.

Liza: She could have been killed.

Mia: Yeah, but she's unharmed. And tomorrow she's going to think that this whole thing was just some exciting, fun adventure.

Liza: Yeah, but it was dangerous. It -- it really was. I mean, she couldn't sleep all night. We -- we sat together on the sofa, and I told her stories until she fell asleep.

Mia: You know, Colby told me that she thinks you have magical powers.

Liza: I wish.

Mia: Yeah, something -- what did she say? Oh -- that you make bad things -- even the bad things fun, like -- something about some safari on the way to pre-k?

Liza: Yeah. Rabbits are gazelles and squirrels are monkeys and woodchucks are lions.

Mia: It's no wonder she loves you so much.

Liza: Thank you for being in the park, for helping everybody search.

Mia: Oh, well, you know, Colby -- she's my -- she's my favorite niece.

Liza: I just don't know what I would have done if I -- if I would never be able to see her again. I mean, you just have no idea what I was going through.

Mia: Yeah, I do. Liza, if you or Colby ever need me, I'm there.

Liza: Thank you.

Jake: Liza, this is Dr. Greenberg. Dr. Greenberg, Liza Chandler.

Liza: Nice to meet you.

Dr. Greenberg: Mrs. Chandler, nice to meet you.

Jake: So -- we'll just leave you alone. You ready to go with me?

Adam: I can stay if you like.

Liza: I'm all right.

Adam: Okay. I'll be right outside.

Chris: Don't let the chair fool you, Mick. I'm on my way back.

Agent Hammer: You don't look bad.

Chris: Yeah, well, they got me working with these physical therapists every day.

Jack: What do you mean, he doesn't look bad? He looks good. He looks strong.

Chris: I'll be back on that job inside a month, Jackson.

Agent Hammer: That's why I'm here.

Chris: Now, look, I still got some loose ends to tie up on the Proteus case. And no matter what, Mick, I want to see that through prosecution.

Jack: You know, if Vanessa would just plead guilty and be done with it, we could move along.

Chris: What, and miss a moment of high drama? Not Vanessa.

Agent Hammer: We don't need you on this one any longer, Chris.

Chris: All right, so, where do you want to move me? Other than up, that is.

Jack: You're making a mistake here, and I think you should rethink it.

Chris: Rethink what?

Agent Hammer: Decision's been made.

Chris: What decision? Wait -- what's going on?

Agent Hammer: You let yourself get sidetracked during the investigation -- first by Erica Kane, then by Ryan Lavery.

Chris: Look, look, Mick, I'll have to agree with you, looking back, that I probably took on too much by defending Erica Kane.

Agent Hammer: You sidelined a major investigation.

Chris: I stayed on it.

Agent Hammer: Leaving most of the work to underlings.

Chris: There were no orders directing me otherwise.

Agent Hammer: You had autonomy on the Proteus case. I feel that you weren't ready for it.

Chris: I still got her! I still got her, didn't I?

Agent Hammer: Yeah, she's in custody. Your split interests could've cost the Lavery kid his life.

Chris: Look, I had just found out that I was his --

Agent Hammer: His father. We keep up in Washington, Stamp.

Chris: Then you should also be aware of the fact that the bullet I took was meant for Lavery.

Agent Hammer: We also know he's tied in to the incident that put you behind a desk for two years.

Chris: You had to do this face to face -- tell me I'm out -- didn't you?

Agent Hammer: You would've preferred a phone call?

Chris: Better than that smirk.

Agent Hammer: I'm not enjoying this.

Chris: Hell you're not!

Agent Hammer: The bureau is recommending you take a leave of absence with disability.

Chris: You know they're not going to let me back in, Mick.

Agent Hammer: Retirement wasn't discussed.

Chris: Sure as hell dismissal was!

Erica: Chris --

Chris: Bastard!

Kendall: Kendall Hart reporting for duty.

Bartender: Your uniform. Now, the lunch shift's intense, but I'm going to go show you the drill.

Kendall: I can handle it. Thank you again for the gig.

Bartender: Hey, thank your friend Chris Stamp and Mateo. I'm taking some time off -- family emergency -- so there's a new bartender filling in beginning today.

Kendall: Two new employees starting the same shift?

Bartender: He's a real mensch.

Kendall: And pleasant to look at, I hope.

Bartender: I'll let you be the judge of that. You can change in the ladies' room.

Ryan: You still here?

Bartender: You're going to miss me when I'm gone.

Ryan: Yeah, yeah.

Bartender: Mateo just called in. He's glad you're on board, and he's hired a new waitress.

Ryan: Great.

Bartender: She's just getting into her regulation shirt in the ladies' room. Did you get what you needed?

Ryan: Fresh horseradish. Can't make the perfect bloody without it. Now, hey, get out of here. You got a baby to deliver. Go on, man.

Bartender: Yeah, well, I got to get you settled in first.

Ryan: I'm capable of introducing myself to the new waitress.

Bartender: Well, help her out, will you? She's not very experienced.

Ryan: I'll be gentle. I'll be gentle. Melinda and I will torture her if she causes any trouble. Now, go. Get out of here, man. Congrats.

Bartender: Thanks.

Ryan: Ahem.

Dr. Greenberg: You haven't noticed any tingling in the fingers? Facial tics, numbness, odd sensations there?

Liza: No. Is that good or bad?

Dr. Greenberg: I'll have to dig deeper before I know the answer to that.

Liza: What do you think about it?

[Knock on door]

Dr. Greenberg: Come in. Come in.

Jake: Hey, how are we coming along?

Dr. Greenberg: Yes. Can I speak to you a minute? Mrs. Chandler, I'll be right back.

Adam: Hey.

Liza: Hi.

Adam: How was it?

Liza: Oh, painless. He's just asking questions and -- I think I'm probably cured.

Adam: It's probably nothing.

Liza: Yeah, maybe -- maybe it's just a vitamin deficiency.

Adam: Yeah, or -- or an allergy or something.

Liza: I think, you know, it's probably that I'm tired --

Adam: Yeah.

Liza: You know, motherhood and a career. I need to take things easier.

Adam: Yeah, well, maybe I can take some of the load off, you know. I don't know how much good I'll be in the motherhood department, but I could take some of the stress off you at work.

Liza: Well, stress is your fuel. Who are you kidding?

Adam: I know, but -- I'm going to make sure that when you get home you're going to have time to do some of the things you really enjoy doing. You and Colby could take a dance class or -- or art classes, maybe.

Liza: Regular renaissance women.

Adam: Yeah, well -- and you're going to get some more time for you and me to be together.

Liza: Lots more time.

Adam: Yeah.

Dr. Greenberg: I'm going to have to run more tests before we can get a conclusive diagnosis.

Ryan: Ahem. Hello. I only have two hands, all right?

Waitress: It's faster if you mix up a pitcher full.

Ryan: Excuse me. These are primo.

Waitress: Oh.

Ryan: What happened to the new slave that Kevin hired? What, did she flush herself down the toilet?

Kendall: Stop wasting time, bar boy. Mix up a pitcher full.

Anna: Oh, my goodness. Another triumph of lovemaking.

David: You think there's a -- a bedroom Olympics out there?

Anna: You want to enter?

David: We might be able to get the gold, huh?

Anna: You think you've already got it, don't you?

David: Well, your opinion means a lot to me.

Anna: Oh, thank you. My opinion is that I'm not as easy as you think.

David: Yeah, you definitely are the most complex, difficult woman I've ever known.

Anna: Mm-hmm.

David: And that is not a criticism.

Anna: You know, if you think some amazing sex --

David: Oh, yes, amazing sex.

Anna: Has won you control of this gold and that I am going to be too weak-kneed to testify against you tomorrow, you'd better think again, Doctor.

Liza: Jake, you look glum. I guess I should assume the worst?

Jake: Well, that's just my new, improved chief of staff poker face. It doesn't mean a thing, Liza.

Dr. Greenberg: The symptoms you're experiencing do indicate some cranial pressure.

Liza: Which explains the headaches and the memory loss?

Dr. Greenberg: Yes.

Adam: What's -- what's causing the pressure?

Dr. Greenberg: We won't know that until we do an M.R.I.

Adam: When can you schedule that?

Jake: Oh, we'll find out.

Dr. Greenberg: Soon as I ask for it. Excuse me.

Adam: Jake, could I have a word with you?

Jake: Sure, sure.

Adam: Just for a moment? Yeah, just take a second. Be right back.

Adam: All right, just what do you expect this M.R.I. to show?

Jake: Well, we won't know for certain until we run the test.

Adam: What does Dr. Greenberg suspect?

Erica: Chris, no.

Chris: Get her out.

Erica: What happened? What did he do to Chris?

Jack: The bureau wants to put him on a disability leave.

Erica: But it's more than that.

Jack: Yeah. Chris thinks it's going to be permanent.

Erica: Oh, no.

Chris: You finally got rid of the competition, huh, Hammer?

Agent Hammer: I was hoping you'd accept it --

Chris: You're so full of it!

Agent Hammer: Hey! It wasn't my call!

Chris: You go to hell!

Erica: Oh, Chris, Chris.

Chris: I'm all right. I'm all right!

Erica: Sure you're all right. Of course you're all right. Nothing changes how you are or who you really are. No one can take that away from you. Nothing and no one can change who you've been the whole me. You are the best man I've ever met. You are the strongest.

>> On the next "All My Children" --

Ryan: You're almost appealing when you're doing something productive.

Leo: In that bag is every piece of evidence against my mother.

Greenlee: What are you doing in my apartment?

Simone: It's time for you and I to have a little chat.

Erica: Isn't this the part where you tell me to get lost again?

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