AMC Transcript Friday 3/8/02


All My Children Transcript Friday 3/8/02

By Suzanne
Proofread by Kathy 

>> Previously on "All My Children" --

Donald: Hayley and Mateo Santos are going to be given a surprise party here tonight?

Sally: Yeah. Do you know them?

Donald: How'd you like to make some easy money?

Jake: I can take you home now.

Leo: Go.

Greenlee: Leo --

Leo: No, I said go.

Maggie: Frankie --

Vanessa: Guess again.

Brooke: Ooh, thank you. Oh, shouldn't we wait for the guest of honor?

Edmund: I don't think Hayley and Mateo would mind. You're not wearing your engagement ring.

Brooke: I just didn't want to take the spotlight away from Hayley and Mateo.

Edmund: Oh, I see your point.

Brooke: Mm-hmm.

Edmund: Are you sure you're not afraid to go public?

Brooke: I said I like keeping it a secret.

Edmund: Oh. Okay. But you -- you wear it at work.

Brooke: I know, but, you know, "Tempo's" family.

Edmund: Okay. Say it your way.

Opal: Hey, hey, hey, you lovers!

Brooke: Hello.

Edmund: Hi.

Brooke: Hi. How are you?

Opal: Oh, good. Are Hayley and Mateo here yet?

Brooke: Not yet.

Edmund: Not yet.

Marian: It's sweet of you to surprise them with this party.

Opal: I think we ought to, you know, give them T-shirts that say "I Survived Proteus."

Brooke: I agree.

Stuart: It's like I always -- everyone has a little goodness in them.

Donald: Okay, Chief, we're just going to sit tight until Ms. Wave and her Donnie Brasco wannabe husband show up, so -- hold the front cover, I got to make another phone call. Oh, yeah, it's just a surprise guest is going to kick this party into high gear. Yeah. All right, sweet cakes, ready to make some money?

Sally: Sure.

Simone: I'm so thankful that you're talking to me.

Zeke: Simone, you're my daughter and I love you. I'm sorry I walked away from you.

Simone: I don't blame you, Dad.

Zeke: Listen; let's have dinner together, all right? You pick the restaurant.

Simone: Yeah?

Zeke: Yeah.

Simone: Are you sure you want to be seen with me out in public? I mean, the whole town knows what I did to Hayley and Mateo.

Zeke: You hurt yourself when you fell in love with a married man, Simone.

Simone: Yeah, well, and he didn't love me back. I got stupid and got a guy shot. What does that say about me?

[Phone rings]

Simone: Oh. Excuse me.

Zeke: Don't use your cell phone in the hospital.

Simone: Don't tell the cell police. I'll be quick. Hello?

Sally: Simone?

Simone: Who is this?

Sally: Sally. I waitress at SOS? We're having a party here, Can you make it?

Simone: Wait, you got to be kidding me. I'm actually on the invitation list? Sally, you said?

Sally: Oh, Mateo asked me especially to call you to make sure you'd be here. It would really mean a lot to him.

Simone: Really?

Sally: Better hurry. You don't want to miss the fun.

Zeke: What was that about?

Simone: Mateo. I think he's going to give me a second chance.

Donald: Hey, nice going, kid. Maybe when you grow up you'll be me.

Donald: Whoa, whoa. Well, well, well. What do we have here, huh? The son of Proteus drunk with hot babe in tow? How do you spell "bonus"?

Sally: I thought Leo belonged to Greenlee Smythe.

Donald: No, that's why they call this deep dish. Dial, baby, dial.

Jake: Okay.

Greenlee: Jake, at the hospital when you found me with Leo --

Jake: Listen; I want you to drink this. It's chamomile and it's going to help you relax.

Greenlee: No, I want to explain.

Jake: It's okay.

Greenlee: Leo was falling apart. Hit with the news that his mother killed Frankie and left Maggie to die.

Jake: All right. Well, you're running on empty right now, all right, with no sleep, and I don't want you to get sick.

Greenlee: No, I'm strong, Jake, and Leo’s not. He's pinning all of Vanessa’s sick stuff on himself. Like he could do anything to stop that she-devil.

Jake: Okay, well, Greenlee, you're no good to Leo or anyone else if you collapse from nervous exhaustion, so drink up. I'll be back here as soon as I can.

Greenlee: You're leaving?

Jake: Yeah, yeah. I got a couple of post-op patients I got to see. But in the meantime, I want you to try and get some shuteye, all right?

Greenlee: Jake? Thanks for taking such good care of me -- like always.

[Phone rings]

Greenlee: Hello?

Sally: Greenlee Smythe?

Greenlee: Who's this?

Sally: You don't know me, but this about your friend Leo du Pres.

Greenlee: What about him?

Sally: Oh, he's in bad shape. I mean, drunk, out of his gourd, crying like a baby, shouting your name.

Greenlee: Oh, my God. Where is he?

Sally: SOS Better hurry. He's in total meltdown.

Greenlee: Tell him I'll be right there.

Sally: That was fun. What's next?

Donald: Now we sit back and wait for the snap, crackle, pop

Hayley: Oh, no. Before we go in, let's establish a little ground rule.

Mateo: All right, shoot.

Hayley: We fix the cappuccino machine and then we go right home. No -- no schmoozing, no boozing.

Mateo: You don't want to party?

Hayley: Yeah, I want to party. I want it to be a party of two in bed making love.

Mateo: Okay.

Hayley: So much bad stuff has gone on in there.

Mateo: Well, it's over.

Hayley: Yeah, you think? You think Vanessa’s just going to drop it just like that? She's going to want retribution.

Mateo: Listen, if Proteus has a score to settle, it's not with me, I promise. I promise.

Vanessa: What's wrong, dear? You're not afraid of me, are you? Oh, my, my, my, this pillow needs fluffing. Ha-ha.

David: Vanessa!

Maggie: Help! Guard!

David: What the hell do you think you're doing!

[Vanessa gags]

Maggie: Will somebody help?

David: Mother, do you hear me? No more hurting people!

Maggie: Guard! Help me!

David: I'll strangle the life right out of you, Mother, and you will go to hell where you belong.

Anna: David, David --

David: You got me? I'm going to kill you, Mother.

Anna: Get off, David! Get -- guard, get in here!

David: I'm sick of all your deeds, Mother. You witch!

Anna: David, let go. Let go of her! You'll end up in jail. She's not worth it, David. Let go. Come on. No, let go. Come on, Honey.

[Vanessa screams]

Anna: Where the hell were you? You're supposed to be watching her. David --

Vanessa: My toilet was stopped up.

Anna: It's not your job to fix the john.

Vanessa: He was -- this charming young gentleman was only trying to help. Oh! Lord. I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.

Guard: It's okay, ma'am.

David: Shut up!

Anna: David --

David: We ain't buying into your third-rate Blanche Dubois.

Vanessa: Well, really, I'll have you know that because of my deep understanding of Blanche, I won a screen test with Darryl Zanuck. You know how I shall die? I shall die from eating an unwashed grape from the ocean.

David: Will somebody shut her up? Please shut her up.

Zeke: I need you to come with me, please.

Vanessa: Am I wanted in makeup?

Zeke: Mrs. Cortlandt, I need you to go back to your room, please.

Vanessa: Wells. It's Rosie Wells. All right. I think I'm wanted on set, if you'll excuse us. Young man, next time we rehearse, will you please be more gentle because you could really damage my instrument. Come on. Mr. Wyler doesn't like to be kept waiting.

Maggie: Your mother is nuts.

David: No, look, don't -- don't buy into her Norma Desmond routine, okay?

Anna: It's just vintage Vanessa acting her little black heart out.

David: Maggie, are you all right?

Maggie: Super. But your mother gives new meaning to "turndown service."

David: Well, I'm happy I got here when I did.

Maggie: I thought the old bat was a nurse coming to wake me up and give me a pill, but it was Aunt Vanessa, sent to smother me with love.

David: I'm going to get you out of here, okay? As soon as you're well enough to leave, I'm going to take you someplace safe.

Maggie: Safe? Huh! Is there even such a place? Do you know that one of her goons took me to that abandoned church? They left me there to die and freeze to death, David.

David: Well, my mother figures that if her finger isn't on the trigger, she's not guilty.

Maggie: What kind of pretzel logic is that?

David: Don't -- don't even try to analyze it. I spent my entire life doing that. The best thing you can try to do is just get some rest, okay? I'm sorry. What?

Maggie: I just -- I'm sorry, I just don't know you. I mean, I know we're cousins and we share some DNA, but I -- I don't know you at all.

David: Do you want to?

Maggie: Well, it doesn't look like I have anything else better to do.

David: You got moxie, kid. I like that. I'll see you in the morning.

Anna: What happened in there?

David: I know. I know, I lost it. I walked in, I saw Vanessa with a pillow over Maggie's face and I just lost it.

Anna: No. What happened in there was remarkable.

David: Oh, yeah, right. I was trying to strangle the life out of my mother. That's commendable.

Anna: You were protecting your cousin.

David: I was protecting my cousin from the hands of my mother. Do you realize how insane that is?

Anna: It may well be, but your mother's not insane.

David: It would be a hell of a lot easier if she were, huh?

Anna: I wish I could make things better for you.

David: Well, you did get me out of jail.

Anna: Yeah, but you're not in the clear yet.

Mateo: Oh, wow.

Hayley: Wow, looks like quite a crowd.

Mateo: Yeah. Let me find Sally so we can get that cappuccino machine fixed.

Hayley: Who is this Sally?

Mateo: She's new. Hey, that's --

Hayley: Cappuccino, yeah. Even smells like cappuccino.

Mateo: That's cappuccino.

Hayley: Well, machine's fixed, let's go.

All: Surprise!

Mateo: What is this?

Brooke: What is this?

Edmund: It is a party for the two of you.

Mateo: What for? Why?

Stuart: To celebrate how brave you are.

Marian: Yes, and getting back to normal.

Brooke: No more leading double lives, I'm very sorry.

Opal: That's right. Your friends -- we just want to thank you and tell you how fearless we think you are.

Women: Whoo-hoo!

Hayley: Cappuccino machine was a bogus story.

Edmund: I'm sorry, that was totally bogus, yes.

Mateo: You guys are the best. Sneaky but the best.

Hayley: When -- I mean, how much did you guys know?

Brooke: Well, we know that you put your lives on the line and on hold so that you could expose Proteus.

Opal: Yeah, I just can't get over it. I mean, I knew that Vanessa was a card-carrying witch on wheels, but a drug trafficker? I mean, I think how much time she spent with Petey gives me the heebie-jeebies.

Edmund: Well, that's behind us now, thanks to these two.

Opal: Yeah.

Hayley: Well, let me tell you something. It's going to be great getting on with our lives, not having to pretend like we are fighting anymore.

Mateo: I know, I can't wait to have our real fights.


Hayley: Yes, real fights. Funny how you forget you're thankful for the little things.

Mateo: Yeah.

Marian: But I sure missed seeing you happy.

Stuart: Yeah, we didn't buy a word of it, not one minute. Not for one -- all that stuff about Proteus and you and Simone --

Mateo: I know. I didn't fool you for a second, did I, Stuart?

Stuart: Oh, no, no. You remember when I came over to the condo to ask you about Simone, and you said you didn't love Hayley anymore? I knew that wasn't true. You were doing it all just to protect her and Lorenzo.

Mateo: Yeah.

Hayley: That's right, Uncle Stuart. That's exactly why he was doing it.

Mateo: You know what? Let's forget about all this bad stuff. Let's -- let's party.

All: Yeah!

Opal: Great. All right.

Edmund: Can you forget about Simone double-crossing you?

Mateo: The hell with Simone.

[Music plays]

Mateo: What are you doing here?

Simone: Sally called. She told me about the party.

Mateo: Sally?

Simone: Yes.

Mateo: Sally?

Leo: Yo, Sally!

Mateo: Cut the music. Sally, get out here!

[Music stops]

Leo: Hey, the music stopped.

Man: Sally left. She said she didn't feel well.

Mateo: She left? She left.

Opal: There goes Sally's Christmas bonus.

Simone: Mateo, I'm sorry.

Mateo: Save it.

Simone: Please, you have to at least let me try to explain.

Mateo: Explain what? Huh? How you sold me out? How you almost got Stamp killed?

Simone: That is not how I wanted it to play out. I mean, look, I made a mistake. I can't take that back. I have to live with that.

Mateo: I hope it haunts you for the rest of your life. I hope you wake up in the middle of the night in cold sweats. I hope you hate yourself for it. All right?

Simone: You want me to suffer, Mateo? Fine. All right, here it is, just for you.

Mateo: I trusted you.

Simone: Yeah, and I let you down. I let everybody down. What can I do to make it up to you?

Mateo: Nothing. Nothing. I don't want to do this here.

Leo: Listen, man, she's bleeding. Can't you see how sorry she is? Vanessa played all of us, and you know it.

Hayley: Mateo, he's drunk, and I think we've all done things that we've regretted in the past.

Mateo: Yeah, well, this is different.

Simone: Mateo, can I ask you? If you weren't ready to forgive me, then why did you invite me to your party?

Mateo: What -- what are you talking about?

Simone: The waitress who called me told me that you asked for me especially.

Mateo: Well, whoever told that I wanted you here is a liar.

Simone: Well, who would do something that nasty?

Hayley: I know who would do something that nasty. Oh, yeah, the king of sleaze himself! Mr. Donald "I'd screw my mother over for a headline" Steele, everybody. Whoo-hoo!

Anna: So I have this friend at Pine Valley PD, a source, a very reliable one.

David: Okay. Go ahead.

Anna: And did you know the police confiscated your computer?

David: Yeah, when they thought that I was Proteus.

Anna: Mm-hmm. And now, because of Vanessa, you're no longer a suspect. However, they still have your computer.

David: Okay, I'll get it back.

Anna: The cops are going to hold on to it as evidence.

David: Well, that doesn't make sense. You just said that I'm no longer a suspect.

Anna: Apparently they did a search of your hard drive.

David: Yeah, I know, when they found the file Vanessa planted to make me look like Proteus.

Anna: Yeah, they've trashed that.

David: All right. Okay, so, what's the problem?

Anna: It's the other files, the ones pertaining to your research.

David: It's okay, I have copies.

Anna: No, no, no, think. Is there anything on those files that they can use against you?

David: Yeah, there are other files, but they're only decipherable to a doctor.

Anna: That's not going to protect you.

David: Look; if you're worried about somebody duplicating my research, I have techniques that I use --

Anna: David, no. This isn't about someone stealing your data.

David: All right, Anna, just -- why don't you just spit it out? What are you talking about?

Anna: Jake has spoken to Derek Frye, asking him to take a closer look at these files.

David: Wait a minute. That -- that's not even legal.

Anna: I know, but that's what he's doing. And Jake has said that he will look at the files himself and interpret the data to determine whether you've done anything criminal -- you know, a breach of medical ethics. And then if charges are brought against you, Jake wants to testify in court.

David: Testify about what? Dixie? I'm the one that kept her alive.

Anna: I know. I was there. However, I guess Jake's argument is that you withheld vital information from a patient and therefore jeopardized her in the process.

David: How? There's no known treatment for this condition.

Anna: You didn't tell her about the condition.

David: Oh, this is ridiculous. There's no way that a jury would see it that way.

Anna: They might. You can't assume.

David: Jake Martin -- self-proclaimed medical watchdog. So he's coming after me, huh?

Anna: He wants to get rid of you, David, and he will do anything.

David: Fine. Let him give me his best shot. Dr. Do-Right doesn't stand a chance.

Jake: Think so, Doc? We'll just have to see, won't we?

Leo: So this guy walks into a bar --

Greenlee: Leo? Can we talk for a minute?

Leo: So, anyway, this guy walks into a bar, and he's got a parrot on his shoulder --

Greenlee: Come on. Come on; let's get some air.

Leo: Greenlee, you're stepping on my punch line. Get lost. So, anyway, the bartender asks the guy, "What are you going to have to drink?"

Greenlee: Leo, will you look at me?

Woman: This is a private party, honey, and you're not invited, so get lost.

Leo: Yeah.

Leo: So, anyway, the guy with the parrot says, "I'll have a White Russian."

Greenlee: Leo, can the lame jokes. Okay, I need to explain about tonight at the hospital.

Leo: Forget it.

Greenlee: Is five minutes out of your life asking too much?

Leo: Your time's up, Greenlee. So, anyway, the guy asks the parrot what he's going to have.

Greenlee: Okay, you're ignoring me because Jake showed up when you needed me, and you're upset about Vanessa, and I let you down.

Leo: If you ever say that woman's name in front of me one more --

Greenlee: Could we please just so someplace and talk?

Leo: I’m tired of talking. Yackety, yackety, yackety, yickety yak. It's a flipping downer, okay? For 10 seconds I forget about my mother from hell and all the trouble she's caused me. I'm having fun. You remember fun, right? F-U -- whatever.

Greenlee: Leo --

Leo: Get, lost, Greenlee! Capisce? Beat it.

Greenlee: You're so not the boss of me.

Woman: Hey, powder puff, the man wants you gone. Flake off, okay?

Greenlee: Get out of my face. This is between me and Leo.

Woman: The only thing between you and Leo is me.

Greenlee: I promise you, you do not want to mess with me.

Woman: Honey, I could snap you like a swizzle stick.

Greenlee: What's that you're drinking?

Woman: Tequila sunrise.

Greenlee: Oh. Here.

Woman: Oh!

Leo: That was lame, Greenlee.

Greenlee: Bad hand-eye coordination.

Leo: Yeah, I'm sure.

Greenlee: Better go freshen up.

Woman: Why, you little --

Leo: Excuse me. Could you get me one of those SOS T-shirts for the lady? Like, pronto? Thank you very much.

Greenlee: Hope you got extra-large!

Leo: That was dirty pool, Greenlee.

Greenlee: Got your attention, didn't I?

David: You're deluding yourself, Jake. You really think you'll be able to interpret what my raw data?

Jake: You are off staff, Hayward, so what the hell are you doing here?

David: Actually, I'm here to see my cousin. I found her near death with hypothermia.

Jake: Visiting hours are over.

David: You know what your problem is, Jake?

Jake: Arrogant doctors who love to play God?

David: Your scope is too limited. You see, brilliant minds don't push pencils. They don't punch time clocks.

Jake: Jeez, Hayward, what's your point?

David: Derek Frye asking you to interpret my research is like asking a 2-year-old to translate ancient Greek.

Anna: Let's get out of here.

Jake: You know what? Just how did you find out that I was working your case for Derek?

David: "Working your case"? What, is that supposed to be cop-speak?

Jake: Should've known. Ex-spies have friends on the force.

David: Oh, come on, Jake. Come on, do you really think you're going to be able to go up against me and win?

Jake: No doubt in my mind, Hayward, plus I have the law on my side.

David: Oh. Oh, the law. Yeah, but, you see, there are higher callings than just crossing at the crosswalk, Jake.

Jake: And you qualify?

David: Yes, I do, because I save lives. And I know you hate to admit this, Jake, but I saved Dixie’s life.

Jake: You are no Albert Schweitzer, you understand? You're just in it for the cash and prizes.

Anna: No, he's not in it for the money. He wants to help people.

Jake: You've been in this from the start, haven't you? Get to play house out at the secret cabin? What's in it for you? You get a piece of the action? You get to put his Nobel Prize on your mantle every Thursday?

Anna: You're funny.

David: Anna is no -- has no part in this.

Jake: Well, that's for the DA to decide when he questions her as a material witness, but I'm quite sure that your girlfriend is a warehouse of incriminating information.

David: No, no, no. You see, well, that's where you're wrong, Jake, because she doesn't know anything about it.

Jake: You're going to pay for this, and I just hope that they let you continue your good work while you're in prison, David.

David: Anna, if they think you know about my research --

Anna: I do.

David: Jake can make you testify against me.

Anna: I know. Well, I'll refuse.

David: You can't do that. They'll make you testify.

Anna: One thing I learned in the WSB -- There's always a way around the law.

Mateo: You used one of my staff to trick Simone over here?

Donald: You guys were a photo op waiting to happen. I just gave it a little nudge.

Mateo: We have a right to privacy.

Donald: And the public has a right to know.

Mateo: I know you. You're just going to twist everything around.

Donald: Oh, come on, everybody's going to love seeing your mug on the front page of "The Exposer," they're going to love it.

Mateo: No.

Donald: Mateo, your wife is a celebrity. The Proteus thing is all over the news, I'm a reporter -- deal with it.

Mateo: You're a hack. You're a hack. Your stuff's not fit to line a birdcage.

Donald: You know, I don't understand. You ought to thank me. I mean, you know, all this free publicity is great for your club. These people think you're some kind of hero. What's the --

Mateo: Get out.

Donald: Hey, buddy boy, I don't have to leave until I'm drunk or disorderly.

Mateo: You're stinking up the place.

Donald: Yeah, well, maybe it's the nachos.

Edmund: Glad you could make it.

Man: My pleasure.

Edmund: Come on in. Have you met Hayley Santos?

Hayley: Of course. Hello.

Man: I've been a guest on her show several times.

Hayley: Hi.

Man: Young lady, you have made Pine Valley proud and grateful.

Hayley: Oh. I don't know about that, but thank you very much.

Edmund: I know about that, and the mayor would like to present Mateo with a presentation.

Hayley: We got a little bit of a problem over there.

Mayor: Oh. It's that parasite Donald Steele.

Edmund: Oh, you know him?

Mayor: Know him? He's plagued me ever since I got into office. I once caught him digging in my garbage.

Edmund: Well, garbage is his stock in trade.

Hayley: Hey, Mr. Mayor, how would you like to help me teach Mr. Steele a lesson?

Mayor: At your service.

Opal: Oh, who you looking for? Looking for somebody special?

Palmer: No, I'm not. No.

Opal: No? No? How come you're so shifty-eyed, then?

Palmer: Get lost, Opal.

Opal: "Get lost"? That's some fine "how do you do," isn't it?

Donald: Palmer Cortlandt.

Palmer: Would you keep your voice down? Opal, would you mind?

Opal: Oh, mind? Oh, heaven's no. Why would I mind? You just go on about your business, pretend I'm not here.

Donald: Hey, Mr. C, I owe you such a sincere apology.

Palmer: What are you talking about?

Donald: Well, you came over here on a wild goose chase. You know that woman who called to set up the meet, who said she could get her mitts on the private Proteus diary? Well, whoops, there is no diary.

Palmer: Well, of the all the brass-plated nerve --

Donald: Yeah, yeah. She works for me, but, listen, while you're here, can I get a quote? What does it feel like to be married to a criminal mastermind?

Palmer: I don't have to listen to this.

Donald: Pretty good chapter for your memoirs, huh?

Palmer: Good night.

Opal: So what's she got on you?

Palmer: Who?

Opal: Vanessa. You thought she had some secret diary, you came here to get it. You must be scared she's going to dish some dirt about you, huh?

Palmer: I assure you, Opal, Vanessa has nothing on me.

Opal: Yeah, nothing except the fact that she married you for one reason and one reason only -- because you make a good cover.

Palmer: Opal, is this your idea of "I told you so"?

Opal: You bet your sweet life it is, and it's been a long time coming.

Mayor: Could I have your attention, please? Everybody quiet down. I'd like to thank you two courageous gentlemen for helping restore law and order to our little town.

Edmund: Thank you, Mayor.

Mayor: Mateo, I'm sure you're anxious for your life to get back to normal.

Mateo: Yes, I am.

Simone: Mateo, I just -- I want to say that I know what I did is unforgivable, and I will regret it and losing your friendship for as long as I live.

Mateo: I think it's best that you don't come back.

Simone: I called a cab. I'll wait outside.

Hayley: You don't have to wait outside. It is freezing. You can wait in here.

Simone: Thank you, Hayley.

Hayley: Don't worry about it, really.

Mateo: What?

Hayley: I mean, really. Come on.

Mateo: What?

Hayley: She made a mistake, and the price of that mistake was severe.

Mateo: What are you talking about?

Hayley: I -- but I understand what she's going through right now and how she feels.

Mateo: How?

Hayley: I understand because I love you, too.

Leo: I'm done talking. I don't want to talk anymore, okay?

Greenlee: Leo, you wouldn't be doing this if it weren't for me.

Leo: Doing what? Having a life?

Greenlee: No. Getting drunk. Glomming onto willing strangers. This isn't a life, Leo, it's a reaction.

Leo: Oh, please, Greenlee. Spare me.

Greenlee: You’re in pain because of me, and I want you to know something. I'm going to do everything I can to make it better.

Jake: Greenlee?

Jake: That's weird. She was so tired before she could hardly move. Maybe she got a call.

Donald: Talk to me.

Jake: Who's this?

Donald: You called me, pal. Who the hell are you?

Jake: This is Jake Martin. I'm looking for Greenlee Smythe.

Donald: Oh. Hey, Jake. Yeah, she's here at the SOS, and looks like she's got some company.

Jake: Who the hell is this?

Leo: Can I get another one of those green martinis?

Greenlee: Leo, admit it. Hey.

Leo: Hmm?

Greenlee: Admit it. I can. You wouldn't be tossing back shots, playing kissy face with nameless bimbos --

Leo: Kerry, Greenlee, her name is Kerry.

Greenlee: Oh, who cares? You're only out with her because of me.

Leo: Excuse me.

Greenlee: You needed me tonight, and I let you down.

Leo: So you pretended this was all about me when it's really all about you?

Greenlee: Of course it's about me.

Leo: Uh-huh. And the fact that my mother just got busted for smuggling dope and killing people isn't enough about me to make me want to drink and have meaningless sex.

Greenlee: You don't need to go so low, Leo. You need me. Let me help you.

Leo: You want to help me? Stay out of my life.

Opal: You blind old fool; you couldn't even see what a venomous snake you were married to.

Palmer: One of the most elegant, really gorgeous, quite gracious --

Opal: Oh, yes, talk about cutthroat and conniving.

Palmer: You never did understand what I saw in Vanessa, did you?

Opal: I knew exactly what you saw in Vanessa. You saw a way to stick it to me.

Palmer: Don't flatter yourself.

Opal: You know, why can't you just come right out and admit that you were taken in by Vanessa?

Palmer: Well, I might've been taken in, but at least I wasn't bored.

Officer: You Donald Steele?

Donald: Oh. Yes, Officers. Is there a problem?

Officer: Your car's parked in a red zone.

Donald: Oh, jeez. Did you happen to notice the press plates?

Officer: Yeah. Well, there's also a warrant for your arrest.

Donald: Must be some kind of mistake.

Officer: And you made it. 15 unpaid parking tickets.

Donald: 15, huh? So what?

Officer: So you're under arrest, Mr. Steele. Cuff him.

Donald: Are you kidding? Come on.

Officer: You have the right to remain silent.

Hayley: Hey, Donald?

Donald: This has never happened to me before.

Hayley: Busted.

Donald: Look at that, huh? There's a shot. Whoa, yeah! There's not a fortress strong enough.

Mateo: I'll send you some nachos.

Brooke: All right, now that the trash has been taken out, it's get back to the party! Yeah!

Edmund: All right, let's toast Hayley and Mateo, their courage and their stubbornness and their faith. To Hayley and Mateo, you're an inspiration.

Mateo: Whoo-hoo! Thank you.

Brooke: Enzo would not believe what his mom and dad went through.

Hayley: Uh, wait a minute. Brooke, are you holding out some information?

Mateo: Yeah, spill.

Opal: Oh, yeah, are we going to be hearing some wedding bells soon?

Brooke: Oh, well, we didn't want to say anything because it's Hayley and Mateo’s night, but, yes, Edmund and I are engaged.

Brooke: Thank you, thank you! Thank you, thank you!

Opal: That's so great.

Edmund: You know, you read about people who -- who come together after years and years of being apart. But that's not exactly us because we've been living parallel lives for -- for years. You know what else they say? They say two parallel lines can never meet. I guess that's why I never liked math.

Brooke: Oh.

Edmund: I want to grow old with you, Brooke. But I want to live every second until then like it's our last.

Brooke: Oh, Edmund.

Edmund: I love you, Brooke. Will you marry me?

Opal: That's terrific.

All: Aww.

Brooke: Yes.

Opal: Nice going.

Maggie: Hi. Yes. I need a number of an airline. Any one, it doesn't matter. Anything that just can fly me out of Pine Valley.

Bianca: You're not going anywhere.

Zeke: Thank you, Beth. I'll sit with Mrs. Cortlandt for a while.

Zeke: I hope it's not too late for us to have another little chat. The only way that I can help you, Mrs. Cortlandt, is if you tell me the truth.

Greenlee: Leo.

Leo: Can I just have one more?

Greenlee: For crying out loud, Leo. Your mother tried to kill me. I've had six minutes of sleep in three days, and I'm in deep dog poo with Erica. Do you get what I'm saying? My life is a mess, but despite everything I showed up here when you needed me. I put my needs on hold.

Leo: You put your needs on hold?

Greenlee: Yes.

Leo: I never asked you too that.

Greenlee: You didn't have to ask. That's part of the deal.

Leo: What deal?

Greenlee: You don't know?

Leo: No, I don't know.

Greenlee: You really don't know why I'm here? Why I'm spilling drinks over silly women and pouring my guts out to you? It's because I love you, damn it.

Man: Are you kids ready? Dearly beloved, we're gathered together in the sight of God --

Woman: Earl, hold up a sec. Can't get hitched without a wedding bouquet.

Earl: All right. Well, take your place, Mother, there. Now, where were we? Dearly beloved, we are gathered together in the sight of God to join this man and this woman in Holy Matrimony.

>> On the next "All My Children" --

Zeke: Who are you now?

Maggie: I can't help you.

Bianca: Can't or won't?

Jake: Shut up, Leo.

Leo: You shut up, Jake.

Greenlee: All right. I love both of you.

Woman: Oh, Earl, marry these two lovebirds.

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