AMC Transcript Wednesday 1/9/02

All My Children Transcript Wednesday 1/9/02

Provided by Suzanne
Proofread by Kathy

>> Previously on "All My Children" --

Leo: Everybody is at the courthouse.

Greenlee: Now you want to take me in my boss' office?

Reporter: Are you here to testify about, Kendall?

Second reporter: When's the last time you and your mother spoke?

Bailiff: All right, all right.

Woman: Oh, my God.

Mia: Ah. Jake?

Jake: Yeah?

Mia: If the cabana boy runs by, would you order me a rum and coke, please?

Jake: You got it.

Mia: Ah, this is bliss.

Jake: You're a tropics girl?

Mia: No, no, I like the cold -- when I'm not in it.

[Mia laughs]

Jake: So I guess sledding down Johnsonís ravine's not exactly your idea of a good time.

Mia: No, it was great. It was so much fun. But coming here to defrost was the best idea.

Jake: Well, I just thought, you know, with you working here and everything, this probably gets old to you.

Mia: Nope. Until today, I never made the time for it.

Jake: Yeah, I've been there. Just a mass of screaming muscles and unreleased stress. You know? The idea of coming here and taking a massage, getting a steam, you know --

Mia: It isn't manly?

Jake: No, no, it's just not really something I'd consider.

Mia: Oh! I've made you a convert to the spa life. I think I should get some bonus points for that.

Jake: Oh. Well, actually, I have -- in the past I've just learned to enjoy forcing myself to relax.

Mia: Sounds like someone helped you with that.

Jake: A little.

Mia: Don't tell me -- Greenlee.

Erica: One of you tell me, what is going on?

Greenlee: Erica, I can explain.

Erica: Do that, Greenlee, quickly. Explain to me why I came into my office to make a phone call and find you and Leo half naked.

Greenlee: Tanning lotion.

Erica: Excuse me?

Greenlee: Enchantment's new sunless tanning product. Unisex, for both men and women.

Erica: Yes, I'm familiar with the term.

Greenlee: Yeah, well, you know, it's that time of year where everyone wants that glow. So we were testing the best. Right, Leo?

Leo: Yeah.

Erica: You tested that product all over my furniture, au naturel?

Leo: Well, you know, to avoid those pesky tan lines.

Erica: Oh, right. Yes. You make jokes. Do you have any idea what kind of a day I have had?

Greenlee: Oh, Erica, was it horrendous in court?

Erica: I'm not going to relive it for you, Greenlee. Now, would you please just clear out?

Greenlee: Erica, we really were working.

Erica: Stop. Any idiot knows what you were doing. Once again, Greenlee, you have proven that you are just completely irresponsible. Once again, you have let me down. Once again, you have proven that you just can't be trusted with the simplest little task.

Greenlee: Excuse me, Erica, but running Enchantment single-handedly is not a simple task.

Erica: Precisely. It takes determination and grit and stamina and --

Leo: Greenlee's got stamina. Man, she's like that little -- that little battery bunny.

Greenlee: Don't help me, Leo. Erica, I'm sorry.

Leo: Why are you apologizing? So we made out a little bit on the couch. That's not a crime. You're treating her like she's some kind of a criminal. Who killed Biancaís girlfriend? It wasn't Greenlee. She's been working her little tush off to save this company, and she's been doing a hell of a job, Erica.

Erica: You call this working her little tush off?

Greenlee: Leo, I can handle this.

Leo: Yeah, I know you can handle it, but I'm going to. Who saved the Lacey's deal? Greenlee did. Who brainstormed the "Positively Arresting" campaign? Greenlee. You should be showering her with praise and stock options, not jumping down her throat. I mean, how freaking ungrateful can you be?

Erica: You know, Leo, I'd like to ask you to stay and watch exactly how un-freaking-grateful I can be, but this is between Greenlee and me.

Leo: No. No, no. I'm brokering this deal, starting with an apology.

Erica: Excuse me?

Leo: Yeah, apologize to Greenlee or she walks.

Erica: Promise?

[Leo scoffs]

[Loud music plays]

Ryan: What's your problem? Turn it down!

Kendall: What the hell? Who are you, and why are you in my room?

[Music stops]

Kendall: Hey! Don't touch that!

[Loud music plays]

Ryan: I can't hear myself think with that. Turn it down.

Kendall: Back off.

Ryan: Listen, I'm asking very nicely. Please, just turn the music down.

Kendall: I don't feel like it.

Ryan: What the hell's your problem?

Kendall: I don't have one -- not anymore. I am cranking up the music and popping the champagne cork. I have a front-row seat, and I'm going to watch her crash and burn! Whoo! Ha-ha-ha!

[Loud music plays]

Kendall: Here's to the queen of mean. Her reign is so over. Go on, six-pack, help me toast the loser because the loser is toast.

Ryan: Just turn down the music, okay? Otherwise, I'll make sure that it stays off for good. You know what I'm saying?

Kendall: Why? Do you own this roach motel?

Ryan: No, I don't own it. I'm staying across from you, okay?

Kendall: Really? Well -- hi, neighbor. Want to party?

Ryan: No, I donít. I told you what I want. I want quiet.

[Music stops]

Kendall: Oh, I get it. You're the silent type. Does that work for you?

Ryan: No, I never touch them.

Kendall: Well, I do. Of course, they say these things will kill you.

Ryan: A known fact, but I'm assuming you ignore those. No, you know what? I don't even want to know.

Kendall: You could save my life.

Ryan: Not interested.

Kendall: Really? Does that mean that you'll finally leave now?

Ryan: You keep it down, and you'll never have to see me again.

Kendall: Promise?

Kendall: Go ahead -- tell me no smoking in this dump, tell me not to forget to turn the coffee burner off, no cooking in the room. I already know that ripping the mattress tag off is hazardous to my health. Go ahead, neighbor, tell me the rules and stick around and watch me break them all.

Ryan: I don't really care what you do as long as you keep the music down.

[Loud music plays]

Mia: So, Greenlee introduced you to the joys of the spa. That's great. You know, if you still have Greenlee stuck inside your head --

Jake: I donít. I wasn't thinking about Greenlee. It's just that this whole steam room connection thing -- she introduced me to all of this.

Mia: Ah. "It was all perfectly innocent, Your Honor."

Jake: I didn't say that.

Mia: You didn't have to. You know, anyone with eyes can see you got a bad case for Greenlee.

Jake: It's over.

Mia: Until you run into each other again, she sets those big, brown eyes on stun, and then you're completely captivated.

Jake: All right, well, maybe I'm still in a little recovery.

Mia: Yeah, I can relate. You know, when something serious ends, the feelings don't just go away.

Jake: Spoken like someone who knows.

Mia: Oh, yeah. Mm-hmm.

Jake: So, who are you trying to get over?

Mia: No one.

Jake: Oh, no, never mind.

Mia: If you're asking if it was the love of my life, I mean --

Jake: No, it's just -- I'm not asking. I think maybe we ought to just skip beyond it.

Mia: Yeah. Yeah, I'd really like to do that, but it's difficult, you see, because I didn't really intend on falling for him in the first place.

Jake: Oh, jeez, what is it -- we're both on the rebound now. That's great.

Mia: Well, it could be.

Jake: In what universe?

Mia: We could help each other.

Jake: Uh-uh. No, we canít. It was a bad idea.

Mia: Why?

Jake: Because, I mean -- all right, look, it's nothing personal, okay, but I'm not into doing this whole rehab thing. I do my damnedest at that hospital to try to heal people, and I can't heal a broken heart. It's not what I do, it's not who I am, and it's just not me anymore.

Mia: Okay. So who are you?

Jake: You know the guy who says, "You know, someday I'm going to do everything that I ever wanted to do and I never got a chance to"?

Mia: Hmm. The guy who's got his life on hold, mm-hmm.

Jake: That's the guy. That's not me. I don't want that. I'm not going to wait, you know, for that day to happen. I'm going to collect it right now.

Mia: Really?

Jake: Mm-hmm.

Mia: That's very forceful. Okay, so right this minute, if you could do anything or have anything, what would it be?

Jake: I don't want you to get the wrong idea. I'm not trying to put any demands on you.

Mia: No, you're not. You're not at all. I -- you know, you fixed my ankle. You took me to this beautiful party. We saddled the kitten. We went sledding. And I'd like to do something for you.

Jake: Like what?

Mia: Your choice. Just relax and tell me the first thing that comes into your mind.

Jake: Relax more, huh? Uh -- I might get arrested.

Mia: Ha-ha! Okay. Second thing.

Jake: How about a massage?

Mia: Coming right up. Lie down on your stomach.

Jake: Ahem. All right.

Mia: How rough would you like it?

Jake: I like it rough.

Erica: I have no intention of apologizing to Greenlee. Honestly.

Greenlee: I don't expect an apology, Erica.

Leo: Why are you groveling? We're not doing anything Erica hasn't done.

Greenlee: That's not the point.

Erica: You know, Leo, I've had it just about up to here with you.

Greenlee: Yes, Leo, please leave.

Leo: What, leave you here with her? What if she gets an itchy trigger finger?

Greenlee: Leo, shut up. Erica, please, just ignore Leo. Please give me another chance.

Erica: How many chances does that make, Greenlee? Look, I have my own rather serious problems, and you are just adding to them.

Greenlee: Please, Erica. I'll make it up to you. I'll prove to you that I'm the best Enchantment has to offer. I'll target every demo, and I'll give you figures that will be off the charts.

Leo: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And she'll shine your stilettos and bounce a ball on the end of her nose.

Greenlee: Leo, if you love me, you will keep your mouth shut --

Leo: Okay!

Greenlee: And I'll handle this. Erica, I know Enchantment inside and out. You have no one to replace me. You need me -- at least until the trial is over. Keep me on till then, and I promise I will prove to you that you can depend on me.

Erica: Well, you better because the alternative isn't pretty.

Chris: You get the paperwork you needed?

Erica: No, I didn't. Nothing was where it was supposed to be. I'm not where I'm supposed to be.

Chris: Where, here at Enchantment?

Erica: Oh, Chris, this company -- my company -- is just so close to being compromised.

Chris: That's not going to happen because we're going to fight like hell to get your freedom and then we'll get you back where you belong -- right here.

Erica: I think it's too late. I already confessed, admitted that I killed Frankie, in front of the whole jury.

Chris: The trial is not over yet. I haven't given my summation. So why don't we just hold off on the doom-and-gloom forecast, okay? Come on, I'll take you home.

Erica: Wait, no. I'd rather stay here. I'd rather work here. I want to see exactly where Greenlee has taken things, and I would like to get as much done here before I am --

Chris: I'll -- I'll keep you company, then.

Erica: Chris, thank you. Thank you, but, you know, I'm better off alone here. I am. You go.

Chris: You sure?

Erica: I am sure. I'll be fine.

Chris: All right. All right, look, I'll be back at myrtle's working on the case. So you give me a call when you're finished, okay?

Erica: Okay.

Chris: I'll come and get you.

Erica: All right.

Erica: Where are you? Wait for me.

Leo: Okay, I'm sorry. I just don't like the way she treats you sometimes.

Greenlee: Not now, Leo. Erica was serious about firing cost budget analysis, okay.

Leo: You're really going to work now?

Greenlee: I thought that was obvious.

Leo: Well, yeah, but -- Greenlee, I know this gig means a lot to you --

Greenlee: Not a lot, Leo, everything.

Leo: Enough to let Erica mince you into little bits? It's not like you're her slave, Greens.

Greenlee: No, Leo, I am her slave.

Leo: Why?

Greenlee: Because I want to be her slave.

Leo: Why?

Greenlee: Because I love this job. I want this job. I want to learn everything Erica knows. I thought you got that about me, Leo.

Leo: Yeah, I do get that, Greenlee, but, I mean, you did everything but lick her hand and fetch the paper. It was -- it was totally embarrassing.

Greenlee: I embarrassed you?

Leo: You embarrassed yourself.

Greenlee: No. No, no, no, no. You compromised me here in Ericaís office.

Leo: Oh. At least give me a little bit of credit. Admit the fact that I was helping you. Come on.

Greenlee: Okay. Okay, it was great. And you did, you did. You helped me. But you don't press flesh in the C.E.O.'s office.

Leo: Since when are you such a stickler for rules?

Greenlee: No, why can't you get how much my job means to me? It's no stretch for Jake.

Vanessa: Ah. Hello, Darlings.

Greenlee: Vanessa. Your timing's perfect -- as always.

Vanessa: I need to borrow Leo.

Leo: Mother, not now.

Vanessa: Please, Darling. Really now. I need you desperately.

Greenlee: Yeah. That's my cue to gag and run.

Leo: Greenlee, wait.

Greenlee: You know what? I've got work to do. Handle Mama's crisis du jour. I'm out of here.

Leo: Where are you going?

Greenlee: Somewhere where no one can find me. Think there is such a place, Toto?

Vanessa: Leo -- Leo, darling, just let her go. I really do need you more than she does right now.

Leo: You know, I don't really want you to drag me into anything right now, okay, Mother?

Vanessa: Leo, come on. My marriage is on the line.

Leo: Well, yeah, I suppose it is since you got caught playing back-seat tag with Palmerís chauffeur.

Vanessa: All right, all right. That was stupid. I lost my head.

Leo: Well, end it.

Vanessa: I tried. Larry won't give me up.

Leo: That's not my problem.

Vanessa: Leo -- Leo, my future with Palmer --

Leo: No, your future is finished, Mother. My future is with Greenlee, okay? From now on, Greenlee comes first, all right?

Vanessa: I will always come first with you, Leo. I come first.

[Loud music plays]

Ryan: Open the door! Turn down the music!

[Banging on door]

Kendall: My hero.

Ryan: What, are you an idiot? You could have burned the whole place down.

Kendall: And rid this burg of a rat hole?

[Music stops]

Ryan: You know what? You don't like it? Leave. Please, leave.

Kendall: No can do.

Ryan: Why? Why not? Who are you?

[Kendall laughs]

Kendall: Guess.

Ryan: What?

Kendall: Come on, six-pack, work those brain cells.

Ryan: I get it. This is all your idea of a good time, right? Is that it?

Kendall: Another bottle of this would help.

Ryan: So, what, you think the rules aren't for you? You like to make some noise, set some fire to things just to land yourself in the spotlight? Is that what's going on? Get some attention to fill that little hole in your soul?

Kendall: Oh, so you think I have a soul. Interesting. What are you doing?

Ryan: Hey, I'm calling from the Pine Cone Motel -- you know, on Route 11? Yeah, Room 18. I just stopped somebody from burning down the place.

Kendall: Give me that phone.

Ryan: Yeah, you better send an arson unit over here ASAP. That would be great. Thank you.

Mia: What is this?

Jake: What?

Mia: This knot, this lump. Is this from Greenlee?

Jake: Hmm, beats me.

Mia: Well, just let it go.

Jake: Oh, I'm trying.

Mia: Don't try. Just release it.

Jake: I thought I had.

Mia: Yep, I hear you. I got my own assortment of charley horses and kinks.

Jake: Yeah?

Mia: Yeah, you think you've worked them out and you think you're completely pain-free, and then you're driving through town and your song comes on the radio, and what do you do? What's the cure?

Jake: Well, if I knew that, I'd be the love doctor.

Mia: Well, why don't you come up with a wonder drug for heartache?

Jake: You know, I think your hands are as good as any medicine.

Mia: You better be careful, all these compliments might go to my head.

Jake: Really? Good, good. All right, my turn. Ah.

Mia: What, me?

Jake: Yeah, yeah.

Mia: Are you sure?

Jake: I'm very sure. Come here. Have a seat.

Kendall: You are so not funny! Call off the cops!

Ryan: No, because you are a walking fire hazard as well as a pain in my --

Kendall: Wait, you came in here twice. Fine, fine. Bring on the cops. I will have you busted for breaking and entering.

Ryan: That's a good idea! And while you're at it, why don't you add destruction of private property, please.

Kendall: You -- you jerk! You stupid thug! You are so going to regret that.

Ryan: Hmm, probably not.

Kendall: You feel better now? You come in here and you mess up my night and my room.

Ryan: Well, you got exactly what you deserve, so don't get all weepy on me, all right?

Kendall: Well, this is just like old home week. I don't know who this moron is, but this is my mother, Erica Kane.

Ryan: Wait a minute. You know this girl, Erica?

Erica: Unfortunately.

Kendall: Back at you, Mom.

Erica: Kendall, so help me, if you go on that witness stand tomorrow and you --

Kendall: You'll what? Kill me, Erica?

Ryan: Uh -- are you for real? She's -- she's really your daughter.

Erica: Yes, it seems she is, and she hates me for it.

Ryan: Well, family problems really aren't my thing, so I'm going to split.

Kendall: You can't leave me alone with a murderer.

Ryan: From what I've seen, Ericaís the one that I should be worried about here.

Kendall: Oh, man! She's got you snowed, too? Why don't they just rename Pine Valley Ericaís World.

Erica: Why don't you just save the theatrics, Kendall. Just tell me, why are you here?

Kendall: You know why, Mommy.

Erica: Kendall, it didn't have to be this way. We could have been friends.

Kendall: Is this for his benefit? Because I'm not buying it.

Erica: You are just so unforgiving. I mean, you always -- you just want to judge me, you want to humiliate me --

Kendall: Oh, please. You called me on the phone, squeezed out a few crocodile tears, and told me how much you missed me.

Erica: Well, it's the truth.

Kendall: It was bad Joan Crawford, how you wished we could start over.

Erica: I do! I mean, why is that so hard to believe? The world has changed so much since we last saw each other.

Kendall: The world, maybe, but not you. I remember how you operate. You've always got an ulterior motive. You called me because you're in trouble and you want me to bail you out.

Erica: Must you always think the worst of me?

Kendall: I'm disappointed in you, Erica. It used to be fun taking you on. Not anymore. You've lost your edge. You are totally, transparently pathetic.

Erica: And you are nothing but a conniving -- oh, Chris.

Chris: Erica.

Erica: What are you doing here?

Chris: Trying to keep you from damaging your case. Am I too late?

Erica: Please just leave, Chris, please. Ms. Hart and I have some business.

Chris: No, you donít.

Erica: Yes, I need some answers, Chris.

Chris: No. You stay away from her, you hear me?

Kendall: Yeah. You're alienating the witness.

Erica: Kendall, please.

Kendall: Ooh, begging. I like this.

Chris: I donít.

Erica: Chris, please, I have to find out what's going on here, what she's going to say about me on the stand.

Chris: Trust me, just zip it.

Ryan: Yeah, he's the last guy you should trust.

Kendall: Really? Tell me more.

Chris: Save it, Ryan. You, outside. You lied to me. It was supposed to be work, then home.

Erica: I'm sorry. I really am. I just -- I had to find Kendall. I had to find out what she's doing here and what she plans to do to me tomorrow in court.

Chris: After I warned you to steer clear.

Erica: But I couldn't, Chris. Please understand that. I couldn't. I mean, I have to find out what she's up to.

Kendall: Impressed?

Ryan: Should I be?

Kendall: Well, not every neighbor you have is Erica Kane's illegitimate brat.

Ryan: Oh. So that's what this is -- you're trying to impress me. Didn't work.

Kendall: You don't do it for me, either, six-pack.

Ryan: Oh, well, the difference is I wasn't trying.

[Sirens]

Kendall: Sounds like the goon squad's coming for the big bad firebug.

Chris: You hear that, Darling? You just scored yourself a world of trouble.

Leo: So now you're giving me orders. You snap your fingers and I'm the old Leo? "I pledge allegiance to Vanessa, to all her whims and selfish demands"? Come on.

Vanessa: Come on, come on, Darling. I really do need you more than ever now.

Leo: So I take it Palmer dumped you.

Vanessa: Not yet. But he will be absolutely devastated if he learns I've been unfaithful.

Leo: So what do you want me to do? I mean, you slept with trouble again. What, do you want me to put my life on hold just to clean up another one of your little messes? Come on.

Vanessa: Oh -- Darling, don't you want me to be happy?

Leo: Oh, please.

Vanessa: Come on, we made such a hell of a team.

Leo: Well, those days are gone, Mother. Yeah, when you used to call, I used to come running no matter what, no matter how mad I was at you, no matter how fed up I was, no matter how many times I'd sworn you off, but every single time I always came through for you.

Vanessa: Yes, you did, Darling, because you're my son and you love me.

Leo: No, I was your creation. You trained me to come running, so I did. That was it.

Vanessa: Yes, and we didn't need anyone else, did we?

Leo: Well, that's what you made me believe, yeah. You actually made me believe that you were the only person that I could ever truly love.

Vanessa: Well, that's true.

Leo: No, that's not true. But I believed it. You raised a selfish boy who lived for good times, and that -- that's pretty much it.

Vanessa: And I gave you everything.

Leo: Yeah, everything money can buy. But you never gave me that one thing that wouldn't have cost you anything, and I think that you know what I'm talking about. Love -- I never got that.

Vanessa: How can you ever doubt my love for you, Leo?

Leo: You needed me. Love and need -- they're not the same thing. There was never a place for love in our lives, Vanessa. I finally realized that when I met Greenlee. She made me realize that the only thing you ever taught me was how to live on nothing.

Vanessa: This is becoming utter nonsense!

Leo: It's the truth! I'm telling you the truth! I love her! And she loves me back! Why can't you -- don't try to twist my thinking again. I -- okay, I'll admit that it was really hard for me to admit that I actually loved somebody if there was no strings attached. She loved me for who I was, and that was it. And I'm sorry that you're -- I'm sorry that you're probably never going to feel that, mother, but don't think for a second that you're going to destroy this, okay?

Jake: Greenlee, I don't believe this.

Greenlee: What?

Jake: Don't do this, please. Just turn around and leave.

Greenlee: What, you think I followed you here, Jake? Jake, I swear, I just left the office, I had a horrible scene with Erica, and I needed to come here and --

Jake: You needed a soft shoulder, Greenlee, a friend, advice, and you needed to do it with your clothes off.

Greenlee: No. You've got it all wrong.

Jake: No, no, you've got it all wrong, Greenlee. Mia and I -- we're in the middle of something, okay?

Greenlee: But it's not important, right?

Mia: Excuse me?

Greenlee: I mean, your whole future's not hanging in the balance or anything?

Jake: Greenlee likes to live on the edge.

Mia: Yeah, I see that. I'll tell you what -- I've had enough hot air.

Jake: Mia, Mia, just -- hey, don't go, Mia.

Mia: No, no, it's fine, it's fine. I'm just going to take a shower. You need to work this out, apparently.

Jake: Thanks, Greenlee. Thanks a lot. You just chased another person right out of my life.

Greenlee: Get over yourself, Jake. I just came here to sweat this miserable day out of my system.

Jake: Oh, come on. Who do you think you're fooling? You came here because you and I meet here every single week at the same time right after your work.

Greenlee: Oh, my gosh, I totally blocked. But you didn't. You were hoping I'd be here. 

Vanessa: Oh. How could you accuse me of depriving you of love, of raising you an emotional cripple? That's like plunging a knife right into my heart.

Leo: Well, if you had one.

Vanessa: Oh, damn it. Leo, I admit I have made faux pas, but I certainly did not raise you to be my lap dog.

Leo: Mother, the only time you ever raised me was when you were between men. Otherwise, I was shipped off to boarding school and the only time you sent for me was when you got bored or dumped.

Vanessa: The finest boarding schools in the world, I might add, and you had a -- we had wonderful times. You loved it!

Leo: It was unnatural! The other kids were outside playing -- they're playing kickball and I was holed up in some room playing backgammon, catching up on the latest dirt about the Duke and Duchess of Austerlitz. I mean, what the hell kind of childhood is that?

Vanessa: Well, a privileged one, and you should be grateful.

Leo: Yeah, well, I'm not grateful. And I don't want to be your confidante anymore. Find somebody else to rub your back and fetch your glasses and tell you how beautiful you are because I'm done.

Vanessa: Leo, we're all alone here now. You don't really mean this, do you, Darling?

Leo: Don't test me. You leave me and Greenlee alone, all right? And if you have problems, if you need help, get a shrink. Just leave this alone, please.

Vanessa: Well, very well. I won't bother you anymore. Lord knows I've handled problems on my own before, Darling, and -- long before you. So I will take care of Larry myself.

Leo: Whoa, whoa, whoa, I don't like the sound of that. What are you talking about? What do you mean, you're going to take care of Larry yourself?

Jake: No, your timing sucks, Greenlee.

Greenlee: No, I think you were counting on it.

Jake: You are so way off base.

Greenlee: I know, but you made your point.

Jake: Which is what?

Greenlee: You don't want me to think that you've been pining away -- for me.

Jake: I'm going to go find Mia.

Greenlee: Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, give the girl some space. She's taking a shower.

Jake: I am not going to do this with you. Do you understand?

Greenlee: You know, I won't be treated like someone with a schoolgirl crush hoping to bump into Mr. Big man on campus.

Jake: Let's drop this right now.

Greenlee: No, I can't drop it, Jake. I'm tired of being accused of being the stalker babe from hell.

Jake: So what the hell are you doing here, then, Greenlee?

Greenlee: I'll tell you! Honest truth. I was hoping no one would be here so I could come here alone and imagine you sitting next to me, not so I could moon over you. I just wanted to talk, tell my pretend Jake about the crummy day that I had and my run-in with Erica, and then I'd imagine the advice that you'd give me. Because if you weren't so freaking paranoid and if we could be friends the way we used to be, I know that you'd give me great advice.

Jake: Oh, so that -- that's why you came here? That's all you were hoping for?

Greenlee: I don't want you back, Jake. I just want to hold on to what you gave me. You helped me. You helped me believe in myself. That means everything to me.

Kendall: Look, in spite of what my neighbor said, I did not start the fire on purpose. It was an accident. He just wants to get me tossed because he can't appreciate good music.

Jack: Kendall, what are you talking about?

Kendall: Six-pack called the cops on me.

Jack: Who?

Kendall: Him.

Ryan: Yeah, actually, I -- I faked the call.

Kendall: You rat! Then what are the cops doing here?

Ryan: I don't know.

Jack: Your anklet alerted the police that you had left your bail zones.

Kendall: What did I tell you -- she brings joy wherever she goes.

Chris: My fault, Jackson. I brought her here.

Kendall: Funny. I didn't see you.

Erica: Chris, I can't let you take the blame for me for this. I really can't.

Jack: All right, all right, can somebody please just tell me what the hell is going on in here?

Erica: I can tell you what is going on. I came here on my own, and I know that I violated my bail zones, and I'm so sorry about that, but I can give you my word it will never, never happen again.

Jack: Oh, I can just about guarantee that because you're going straight to jail.

Leo: Just tell me, please. You're going to make Larry quit? You're going to pay him off? What?

Vanessa: But, Leo, you just made it painfully clear that you wanted nothing more to do with me or my problems, so why on earth would you care how I handle Larry?

Jake: I'm sorry.

Greenlee: Yeah?

Jake: Yeah, yeah, for just jumping to the wrong conclusion.

Greenlee: Well, you were half right. I did want to see you -- in my imagination.

Jake: Oh. Well, I guess you had to settle for the real thing, then.

Greenlee: Just know I'm not chasing after you, okay? Those days are over.

Jake: We have to stop.

Greenlee: What, meeting like this?

Jake: Yes.

Greenlee: You know, I stopped using the elevator at the loft. I've been using the stairs. I've got calves of iron. Feel.

Jake: You know what, Greenlee? I want you to enjoy your steam, okay? I hope I give you good advice.

[Greenlee gasps]

Greenlee: No. No, the gods are not doing this to me. This is not happening. Someone? Help me! Anybody but Jake. Let me out of here! Hello!

Erica: Jack, you can't be serious.

Kendall: He looks serious to me.

Jack: What did you think was going to happen, Erica?

Erica: Well, not this. I mean, Jack, you can't take me to jail --

Jack: Jail is where you go when you break the law.

Kendall: You forget, Jack, my mother thinks jail is for other people, the ones who aren't special like her.

Chris: Jackson, let me talk --

Jack: Look, she violated her bail, okay?

Chris: What about what you did?

Jack: And what exactly did I do?

Chris: I think you scraped the bottom of the barrel, Jackson, by calling her here. You knew that she would probably freaking run and break bail.

Kendall: F.Y.I., whoever you are -- you sleeping with him? I've got to play catch-up on my mommy's love life. Anyway, Jack didn't call me. I called him. They're going to put you away for life, and I'm going to be there when they do it.

Chris: Shush.

Jack: Let's go.

Kendall: I told you I was going to need more of this. She is going to get exactly what she deserves.

Ryan: You get off on watching your mother get carted off to jail? That's sad. Really sad.

>> On the next "All My Children" --

Brooke: Whether you were going to propose or not, don't tell me. I don't want to know.

Laura: I have an offer for you. No one as greedy as you could pass this up.

Greenlee: Get me out of here, and I will make up my mind between Jake and Leo.

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