All My Children Transcript Monday 12/31/01
>> Previously on "All My Children" --
Leo: You had an affair with your chauffeur?
Vanessa: You keep your voice down!
Hayley: What if Chris Stamp is Proteus?
Chris: It's truth serum. I want you to give it to David.
Roger: I have got a really big secret and I am sick of keeping it to myself.
Leo: Mother, you've got to be kidding me. You and Larry?
Vanessa: No, keep your voice down.
Leo: You know, if Palmer finds out about this, he's going to cut you off at the knees.
Vanessa: Palmer cannot about this, darling. That's why David has to be kept quiet.
Leo: Well, he's not going to shout "My mother bedded a chauffeur" from the rooftops, if that's --
Vanessa: If anyone else gets wind of this, I am ruined.
Leo: Well, maybe you should've thought about that before you decided to use David's room for your little tryst. Mother. How could you be so careless? You're smarter than this.
Vanessa: I'm weak, I'm weak. I mean, I'm only human. Come on, I made a mistake.
Leo: I need to think.
Opal: So what's your hurry? Maybe your chauffeur's going to swing by and pick you up for another wild ride.
Adam: You don't mind being late?
Liza: Oh, I wouldn't have missed our early New Year's celebration with Colby for the world. You know, I must say, you are a genius.
Adam: Yes, I agree. What's my reward?
Liza: A perfect evening.
Ryan: Pine valley's power couple, out together. Aren't you two afraid people are going to talk?
Adam: We'll risk it. Actually, we're looking for Hayley.
Ryan: So am I. You mind if I tag along?
Liza: Don't bait him.
Adam: Hayley is having a rough time right now. She doesn't need your particular brand of humor tonight.
Ryan: Your daughter happens to enjoy my company, Adam.
Liza: I just think it would be best if you kept your distance.
Ryan: Right, but not tonight. You see, I'm her date. Seriously, Adam, don't sweat it because I promise to get her back before dawn.
Chris: You're so certain Hayward isn't Proteus. This'll prove it.
Anna: But I can't slip him a mickey.
Chris: Truth serum is better than a polygraph. You know that.
Anna: The point is it would be involuntary on his part.
Chris: So what if it clears him? Ah, I sense doubt. You're not so sure it would.
Greenlee: Stay away from me!
David: You're an idiot, Roger.
Greenlee: How could you hit him? He's drunk.
David: He's lucky I didn't hit him harder!
Roger: I'm hurt and I'm bleeding!
David: You're a jackass!
Jake: Just cool it, David.
David: Just back off, everybody, all right? This is none of your damn business.
Edmund: Hey, you fight in my house, it's my business.
Greenlee: Keep him away from my father.
Roger: You're a menace! You ought to be arrested!
David: I was trying to knock you out, you moron! It's the only way to stop you from drinking!
Jake: All right, what's this all about? Most doctors treat their patients with care.
Roger: Care? He only cares about his stinking drugs!
Roger: That's right -- drugs!
David: You're absolutely right, Roger. I do care about your medication. But I'm beginning to wonder why I even bother.
Roger: Well, do me a favor -- don't bother anymore.
David: What is that supposed to mean? What, what, what, you'd rather die, is that it? Well, that's perfect because that's exactly what's going to happen if you keep disobeying my orders, if you keep drinking.
Greenlee: I want you to find another doctor.
David: Stay out of this.
Greenlee: No, you know what, you just hit him and you're acting like it's for his own good.
David: It was. I've done everything I possibly can to convince this man. I've begged him, I've used common sense advice, I've threatened him, but he still won't take care of himself.
Greenlee: Daddy has a bad heart. You could've killed him punching him like that.
David: He's supposed to stop drinking. He's not supposed to have any alcohol at all, Greenlee. I mean, it's the worst possible thing for him.
Greenlee: No, you're the worst possible thing for him. Stay away from us. Excuse me.
Greenlee: Daddy, are you okay?
Roger: I hardly felt it.
Greenlee: You told me you were going to be drinking soda tonight.
Roger: Did I?
Greenlee: Yes. Daddy, why did David punch you?
Roger: Hmm? Well, he thinks he runs the world.
Greenlee: Was it because of what you were going to tell me?
Greenlee: The secret?
Greenlee: You said that you had a secret to tell me before David hit you.
Roger: No, no, that must have been the liquor talking.
Greenlee: Well, why don't you sit down.
Roger: No, I'm fine.
Greenlee: Let me get you to the hospital.
Roger: No, don't be silly. Party on. Happy New Year.
Dixie: Why don't you just apologize to everybody and go home.
David: You're not going to cut me any slack, are you?
Dixie: No. I came in here to get a drink, but since drugs seem to be in the picture, perhaps I shall avoid the punch bowl.
David: Dixie, whatever you think you saw, I swear to you it is not at all what it appeared to be.
Dixie: Just save your breath, David.
Guard: Excuse me. Ma'am, is he bothering you?
Dixie: Yes, he is.
David: Dixie, come on.
Guard: Excuse me, Sir. I'm going to have to ask you to leave.
David: Don't be ridiculous.
Guard: Mr. Grey asked me to take you off the property if there was any more problems.
David: Get your hand off of me.
Guard: Don't make me call backup.
David: Don't bother.
Edmund: Hayward's spinning out of control.
Brooke: Getting careless, making mistakes. Like Proteus.
Chris: Some eye-opener, eh, Devane?
Anna: Well, David's temper is no secret.
Chris: Oh, Roger started in about the drugs, Hayward nearly had a stroke.
Anna: You're exaggerating.
Chris: He just punched Roger out.
Anna: Because he was drunk. You know, why don't you go after him. Maybe he'll be used to you.
Chris: Oh, love is blind. Just give him this and you'll prove him wrong.
Anna: No, I won’t.
Chris: You're not wired. I won't be listening in. Why don't you just lace that vintage champagne you two enjoy drinking so much and maybe you'll find out who you've actually been sleeping with. Good girl.
Vanessa: Oh, please. Don't be absurd. The night is young. Why would I leave?
Opal: Oh, maybe you just came out here to, what, check out the hay-rolling possibilities? Oh, there's the saddle and harness accouterments.
Vanessa: You know, Opal, I really don't find you amusing.
Opal: And I find you absolutely revolting. Rolling around with some young stud in your own son's bed?
Vanessa: Well, let's get right to the blackmail. Will you accept a check or cash only?
Opal: Wow. All this material and me without my tape recorder.
Vanessa: Just give me a price.
Opal: You know, I've got a pretty good memory, but this is the kind of stuff that you really want Palmer to hear verbatim, you know?
Opal: Well, you don't think I'm just going to put this out on the grapevine and hope it reaches him eventually, do you? Oh, no, I want to be there. I want to see his face when he has to admit that he married a low-down piece of trash.
Vanessa: Well, go ahead. I dare you. Because he will only hate you more, dear, than he already does.
Palmer: Vanessa? Vanessa, are you out here?
Opal: Hmm, seems that my opportunity to watch you crash and burn is headed my way.
Liza: Can we please all remember why we're here -- charity, good works, ringing in the New Year in peace.
Ryan: I'm a charitable kind of guy. What do you say, friends for a few hours tonight?
Adam: I have no problem with that. Have you seen Hayley recently?
Ryan: Well, she took off after Mateo and his waitress rubbed their affair in her face.
Adam: Mateo was here?
Ryan: Yeah, and apparently she didn't really appreciate the floor show they were putting on, so she and Mateo went out to have it out. Personally, I hope that she kicks the life out of him.
Adam: They left together?
Ryan: Yep. You know what I'll do is I'll call her on her cell phone, make sure she's okay.
Liza: Would you tell her that we're looking for her?
Ryan: Yeah, you got it.
Adam: Thanks, Lavery.
Ryan: You're welcome.
Adam: Well, what do you think?
Liza: Well, what I think is that I'd like to kick Mateo in the head -- hard.
Adam: Yeah, well, that sounds like my idea of a good time, too. I was talking about was how cool I was with Lavery, as per your request.
Liza: You showed admirable restraint, and I'm grateful.
Adam: It's nice to know you're paying attention. Now let's go see what we're missing in here, if anything.
Leo: Hey, Mia.
Mia: Hi. Hi.
Leo: I could really use one of those.
Mia: Oh, here, be my guest.
Leo: Here's to me hoping my fiancée doesn't rip my head off because I was gone so long.
Mia: Hmm. Good luck.
Leo: Wait, you've seen her?
Mia: Oh, mm-hmm. She's commandeered my date. Greenlee's with Jake.
Palmer: Blast it, Vanessa! It's cold out here!
Opal: Yeah, but he's getting warmer, isn't he?
Vanessa: Well, whatever your reasons, Opal, thank you. I'm in your debt.
Opal: Oh, I didn't do it for you. No, I ought to be riding you and that chauffeur of yours out of town on a rail, but, you see, I'm selfish. Hank and me, we don't need your antics rocking our love boat.
Vanessa: Oh, well, I wish you every happiness.
Opal: And I wish you every anguish, which I figure you'll get being hitched to Palmer.
Vanessa: Oh, I don't think so. He does adore me. He's devoted.
Opal: He wouldn't even write you into his will. He is using you just like you're using your chauffeur. The only difference is that you don't have to wear a uniform. Or maybe you do, but I don't want to know about that.
Vanessa: Oh, God, you poor, pathetic thing, really. I am loved. Even worshipped. And you have no idea who I am or what emotions I'm capable of producing in a man.
Opal: You mean like fear and loathing and revulsion?
Vanessa: Oh, this big talk from a woman who's absolutely terrified she's ending her age of desirability.
Opal: Are you talking about me?
Vanessa: Come on, Opal, we both know what it's like being you. You're a bad joke. Overly made-up, too many bangles and bobbles and beads, and all this clanging attracts, well, amazement. You'd kill to walk in my shoes.
Opal: Oh, guess again, Vanessa. I wouldn't walk across the room in your sensible pumps.
Vanessa: Oh, well. These are classics, as am I. And, you know, Opal, if you should choose to open your big hog-calling mouth and tell anyone, I will bring you down and destroy your entire family, as well.
Anna: You drove like a madman.
David: Well, how apropos, since I am mad.
Anna: Why, exactly? David -- mind if I have a drink?
Anna: Oh, what is making you so crazy? What do I have to do to make you open up to me?
David: Why don't you go back to the Crystal Ball, all right? You don't want to miss the opportunity to ring in the New Year.
Anna: Don't you know you can trust me by now?
David: You know something -- you say it often enough. So why should I believe you?
Anna: I could have put this in your drink. You'd have spilled your guts and not even known why.
David: You came here to drug me?
Anna: No, I came here to find out what the hell is going on with you. I could've used this, but instead I am asking you to trust me. Oh, God, I hope I'm not making the biggest mistake of my life.
Brooke: It is so frustrating.
Edmund: Proteus is thorough about covering his tracks.
Brooke: Why wouldn't the delivery service have any record of the statue?
Edmund: Cash. It was a cash delivery and he didn't arrange for it himself.
Brooke: Well, I wish David were still here.
Edmund: Why, so you could question him?
Brooke: So I could ask him if he's Proteus. No, it's just we could keep an eye on him if he were still here. Now he's somewhere. We don't know where, we don't know what he's up to.
Edmund: Well, that sculpture was certainly an arrogant gesture worthy of Hayward.
Brooke: I want to talk about something else, like what my son is doing.
Edmund: He's probably with Sam and Maddie.
Edmund: Want to go kid check?
Brooke: How did you know?
Edmund: I don't know. Sorry tonight didn't turn out as planned.
Brooke: I'm getting used to it.
Simone: How can we be sure that everyone who came is on this list?
Mateo: Well, I'm only concerned about one person. I mean, Proteus has been close to us this whole time.
Simone: Watching your every move.
Mateo: Yeah, but he's going to tip his hand as soon as he realizes that I skimmed the profits.
Simone: It is so frustrating that we can't figure out a safer way to flush out Proteus.
Mateo: Well, we just wait for him to come to us.
Simone: Which could be now.
Mateo: Could be.
Chris: Mind if I have a word alone with Mateo?
Simone: No. Just don't be too far.
Chris: So, how you holding up?
Mateo: Pretty good. You?
Chris: Good. I, uh -- I got something for you.
Mateo: What is it?
Chris: It's a letter from your sister Julia.
Mateo: She's still in the witness protection program, right?
Chris: Yeah, well, it's not the first time I've gotten around that.
Mateo: Is that a threat?
Greenlee: Daddy tells me he isn't drinking, then I find him completely sloshed. Then he mentions some secret he's tired of keeping from me and then David Hayward decks him.
Jake: Well, I think you should go talk to your father.
Greenlee: No, I tried to, but I lost him in the crowd. Jake, you don't think he's driving, do you?
Jake: I hope not.
Greenlee: Why would David punch a man that he's treating for a heart condition? Daddy should sue.
Jake: Well, I'm not condoning Hayward’s actions in any way, Greenlee, but your dad does look pretty healthy -- fine, in fact, except for his blood-alcohol level.
Greenlee: Well, you have to help me get to the bottom of this.
Jake: Do you hear yourself?
Greenlee: You're there at the hospital.
Jake: Oh --
Greenlee: You have access.
Jake: Well, that may well be true, Greenlee, but you've got the wrong guy.
Greenlee: Look, I'm not asking to have your babies. I need your professional assistance.
Jake: Maybe. Or maybe you just want to keep me on an emotional leash.
Greenlee: That is so conceited. Try listening to yourself once in a while.
Jake: You know what, why don't you go find your fiancé. Or have you forgotten that you accepted his proposal?
Greenlee: Where have you been? Your brother physically attacked my father. He punched him out.
Jake: She's all yours.
Greenlee: You're okay about Jake, right? I mean, it's true, I am all yours, but you --
Leo: But I wasn't around, right, and when you needed somebody, you ran to Jake.
Greenlee: He's a doctor, and with my father's heart condition, of course --
Leo: Greenlee, I understand that. Jake's been your standup guy. Whenever there's a problem, you went running to him. I understand that.
Greenlee: I wouldn't go that far.
Leo: But no more. I want to be the guy that you run to. And vice versa. We can lean on each other. But if we can't do that, Greenlee, we shouldn't even be getting married.
Greenlee: Are you trying to back out?
Leo: No, I'm trying to tell you that I want in! I'm ready to help you with anything, for better or worse. There is no worse that I can't handle, okay?
Greenlee: I wasn't choosing Jake over you. You weren't around. Have you been with Vanessa this whole time?
Leo: Yeah, but believe me, I would've much rather been here. She's a disgusting mess.
Greenlee: What --
Leo: No, don't ask, don't ask. So how's your dad?
Greenlee: Well, he says he's all right, but I'm not sure.
Leo: How are we?
Leo: You know, I'm pretty good at comforting, too, Greenlee.
Greenlee: Hmm, you're perfect.
Leo: All right. So tell me what happened between your dad and my brother.
Liza: You okay?
Dixie: Yes, I'm fine, I'm fine. I -- I had a little run-in with David earlier. Enough said?
Dixie: Well, man of the hour, thank you so much. You really have made my New Year's Eve. I appreciate it. Thank you for coming through for me.
Adam: Nice to be appreciated.
Dixie: For once in your life, right?
Adam: That's what I was thinking, yes.
Dixie: Well, I appreciate you talking to J.R. about Tad for me.
Adam: Whatever 2002 brings, I'm sure we can all find comfort in our -- in our family and our friends. Where's Martin Shapiro? I haven't seen him in years. Would you excuse me?
Liza: Of course.
Dixie: Sure. There's a lot of appreciation going on there. It's funny, I just -- I keep watching, but I never see your lips moving.
Liza: I'm sorry?
Dixie: Oh, when Adam’s talking, he's just so different.
Liza: Yeah. So it's not my imagination?
Dixie: No, no, it's a miracle. It's great. Here's to your influence. Long may it reign. Mmm. You want to raid the dessert buffet with me?
Liza: Uh, no, you go on.
Dixie: Okay. Keep up the good work.
Mark: Mrs. Chandler. Why haven't you called? You're not backing off on the custody suit for your daughter, are you?
Adam: Excuse me. I'd like to have a talk with you.
Simone: Maybe another time.
Adam: No, now.
Simone: Excuse me. Watch the dress.
Adam: Are you enjoying playing the scarlet woman, being Mateo’s whore?
Simone: Moral indignation from Adam Chandler? What a treat.
Adam: You're flaunting your affair with my daughter's husband.
Simone: Soon-to-be ex-husband.
Adam: Oh, no, I don't think so. Don't count on that.
Simone: And don't count on your outrages having any effect on me or Mateo. Got it?
Adam: You think you can dismiss me?
Simone: I already have, and so has Mateo.
Adam: You'll regret it.
Simone: I don't know the meaning of the word.
Adam: If you hurt my daughter once more, you're going to be sorry you were ever born.
Chris: How the hell can you see this as any kind of a threat? You asked me to see if I could get word to Julia and Noah, see if I could get them a photo, a snapshot of your kid, didn't you? Well, that's her response.
Mateo: You gave them the photo of Lorenzo?
Chris: An associate did, and you've got a lousy way of saying thanks.
Mateo: Thank you.
Chris: You know, I don't know what the hell else is going on in your life, but hopefully this will remind you of what's important.
Mateo: Meaning what?
Chris: You got a wife, you got two kids. You should know better than mess around with known criminals.
Mateo: I don't have to get advice from you.
Chris: Oh, why, because you know everything that you're doing, huh? This act you got going on with Hayley?
Mateo: I don't know what you're talking about.
Chris: No, I saw you two. I saw you two. I know this whole setup, this breakup is all part of the show. Now, you be smart, Mateo. Proteus is a lot more dangerous than you can ever imagine. You are jeopardizing your whole family, and remember, somebody is always watching you. Always.
David: This isn't the way I expected it all to turn out.
Anna: Well, hitting Roger didn't help.
David: Roger's an idiot.
Anna: He's telling everyone that you're involved in drugs. That's not good.
David: He was drunk. Nobody's going to listen to him.
Anna: David, if you're dealing, I can't condone that.
David: Oh, all right, so doubt has finally set in about me, is that it?
Anna: Well, you haven't killed anyone. I mean, I could help you get out of this if you want.
David: You're trying to break Proteus. Why offer me help, hmm? I mean, how do I know that all this understanding --
Anna: Oh, can't you just stop weighing your options for once and feel with your heart? I mean, try it. A lot of people do.
David: How the hell would you know?
Anna: Because I stopped relying on my intellect from the moment -- the mom--
David: The moment you what?
Palmer: Well, it certainly is. I came this close to declaring you a missing person. Where the devil have you been?
Vanessa: Oh, come on, Darling, no unpleasantness tonight. This is a night of celebration for good works.
Palmer: I've been trailing all over the grounds for you.
Vanessa: Well, did you think of trying the greenhouse?
Palmer: Green-- no.
Vanessa: Well, you should've because I was absolutely tied up there with this ancient diplomatic -- Ogilvie?
Palmer: Herb Ogilvie?
Vanessa: Yes, yes. Well, he was boring me silly with his experiments on African violets. Since he's such a big contributor to the hospital, I suffered in magnificent silence.
Palmer: Oh, that's great work, Darling. That's very good work. You deserve a reward.
Vanessa: I do. How about a dance with my darling husband?
Palmer: How about a drink?
Vanessa: Oh, even better.
Palmer: Come on.
Liza: I will not discuss my divorce plans at a party.
Mark: Relax. We could be strangers making small talk.
Liza: But we aren’t.
Adam: Well, what have we here?
Adam: You look so terribly serious.
Liza: It's just that I don't like discussing business at a party.
Mark: Didn't mean to intrude.
Liza: Perhaps we can talk at my office next week sometime.
Mark: Will do. Enjoy your evening.
Adam: Who was that?
Liza: Oh, just seems that anyone who can form a sentence has a show to pitch.
Adam: Well, that's what beauty and power get you -- accosted by strangers at parties. Let me take you away from all this.
Jake: Oh, what, what, did I step on your foot?
Mia: Oh, no, my ankle's just not doing too -- too well, I guess.
Jake: Oh, see?
Jake: Well, come this way because, lucky for you, I swore an oath to relieve suffering. So let me get you right over here and take care of that problem for you.
Jake: There we go.
Mia: Uh-oh. What are you doing?
Jake: This. Is that better?
Mia: Much. Oh. Remind me not to push myself. I think that's going to be my New Year's resolution. How about you?
Jake: To toss out old baggage in 2002 and start totally fresh.
Mia: Smart. I think I'll steal that as my second resolution.
Greenlee: Tell me about your run-in with Vanessa. Lean on me and rant all you like.
Leo: Well, that's very generous of you, but I think it's a lot more than you can take on right now.
Hank: I thought you deserted me.
Opal: Oh, jeez!
Opal: Oh! Oh. Oh. I'm sorry. You just can't can you? Here, let me --
Hank: No, it's okay. We've been through this before.
Opal: Oh --
Hank: What's got you so shaken up?
Opal: Um -- oh, just I guess the approach of midnight. I always get flustered thinking of bringing in the New Year.
Hank: There you go, look, good as new.
Opal: Oh, so sorry.
Hank: That's all right.
Hank: You were gone for quite a while. Where were you?
Opal: Well, uh --
Hank: Not leaving before midnight, are you?
Palmer: We prefer to welcome 2002 in private. You understand.
Vanessa: Oh, we will think about you at midnight. We'll be with you in spirit.
Palmer: Good night.
Simone: That's funny.
Mateo: Excuse me. Thank you. Listen --
Simone: Oh, my gosh, Hayley's father just tried to put the fear of God in me.
Mateo: Okay, later. Come on. Come on, come on.
Simone: What --
Mateo: Who was that guy?
Simone: Oh --
Simone: Oh, did Adam get to you, too?
Mateo: Stamp. He tracked down my sister Julia.
Simone: Oh, that's bad.
Mateo: Yeah. Yeah, if he can find her, he can find anyone. No one's safe from him.
Simone: Wait, he didn't hurt her, did he?
Mateo: No, but he made the message clear that if I want Hayley and the rest of my family safe, I've got to back off Proteus.
Simone: Wait, Chris said that?
Mateo: Yeah, and he knows a lot more than we thought. So if Stamp is Proteus and he logs on tonight and finds out that I stole from him, I may have signed Hayley's death warrant.
Anna: I need another drink.
David: Yeah, that's a good idea. And why don't you use your truth serum while you're at it? You could tell me what changed your mind. You could also tell me what you're thinking right now.
Anna: Oh, stop evading the issue.
Anna: Why are you so bloody cold all the time?
David: Oh, I think we've shared some pretty hot moments together, don't you?
Anna: Is it beneath you? Is it beneath you to have an honest emotion? Why don't you just pretend to be human, huh?
David: Oh, I did a pretty good job reeling in you, don't you think?
Anna: You weren't faking anything with me. Don't lie, not about that. I don't want you to lie about what is sending you over the edge, either. Please don't shut me out, David. Please, please, please.
Anna: Oh, wow. Okay. Well, I guess that's the answer I needed to hear.
Edmund: Dixie, have you seen Brooke? Excuse me.
Dixie: No, I haven't, I'm sorry.
Edmund: No? Opal, do you know where brooked is?
Leo: It's countdown time, people!
Opal: No, I haven't seen Brooke -- oh, it's time, it's time!
Leo: Can I get a 10?
All: Eight! Seven! Six! Five! Four! Three! Two! One! Happy New Year!
["Auld Lang Syne" plays]
Ryan: Every year is supposed to be better than the last, Gillian. Listen to them. Life as usual. Life as usual, hopes and dreams intact, even Liza. Even Liza after losing her child. I made a New Year's resolution, though. Ahem. Rip apart Adam Chandler in 2002. I'm -- I'm sorry if you're ashamed of me, Gillian, I really am. Because I know there's something more, I know there's something better, but I just can't reach it alone.
Simone: Isn't there some way to make it seem like the money's still in there?
Mateo: Can't get in. I can't, he put in a fail safe. I can't -- all right, so when he logs on, he -- he already logged on. He already knows the numbers. Oh, God. Please, God, just let him come after me.
Vanessa: Damn you, Mateo.
Vanessa: You should never toy with Proteus.
>> On the next "All My Children" --
David: I did it for you, Dixie.
Greenlee: You are an embarrassment, and when I'm finished with you, you will be the biggest joke in this town.
Phoebe: They'll be happy if it's the last thing that I do in my life.
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