All My Children Transcript Wednesday 10/17/01
Jake: All right. So you mean "right" with a capital R, "wrong" with a capital W?
Greenlee: You never heard of the concepts?
Jake: Just wasn't sure you had. So what got you started down this lonely road anyway?
Greenlee: Laura "the certifiably insane" Du Pres.
Jake: Now, is this the same Laura that you impersonated in the analyst's chair?
Greenlee: She's the one who needs to be shrunk. What she's doing is wrong, Jake. It is so wrong, it's crazy. But no one will listen to me! It's like -- what's that movie with the pod people where the aliens suck out the people's personalities and turn them into robots?
Jake: "Invasion of the Body Snatchers"?
Greenlee: That is what Laura is doing to Leo. She's acting all Nancy Normal so no one sees it.
Jake: No one but you.
Greenlee: She is not who she pretends to be, Jake.
Jake: And you're running all over town trying to warn everybody, and no one believes you.
Greenlee: Do you?
Jake: I need evidence.
Greenlee: Right, right. My word's worth spit.
Jake: Greenlee, I don't even know how you can say that, all right? You hate Laura, admit it.
Greenlee: Yeah, well, that's true, but I swear to God, Jake, she is like a time bomb ready to go off, and she's this close to going off.
Jake: Well, so what? So what if it does? Why does that threaten you?
Greenlee: Why waste my breath? You'll take Laura's side against mine.
Jake: No, I'm not. I'm sitting here and I'm listening to you.
Greenlee: So you can tell me that I'm wrong. You know, there's always been a Laura in my life. It's like a curse. It's like -- it's like some mealy-mouthed goody two-shoes sent to make my life hell. It's like Sue Ann Potter in third grade.
Jake: Sue Ann Potter?
Greenlee: From Miss Amy's Academy.
Jake: Oh, yes, of course.
Greenlee: Sue Ann -- little Miss Teacher's Pet. She used to curtsy, for crying out loud. Our teacher used to say to me, "Why can't you be more like Sue Ann?"
Jake: Bad move.
Greenlee: Jake, she set the girls' room on fire so she could get out of an exam, and then she copied off my papers and the teacher thought I was cheating. I almost got expelled! And she never got caught.
Jake: Kids can be cruel.
Greenlee: Sue Ann was a totally bad seed.
Jake: And you were?
Greenlee: Me. And I never pretended to be anyone else.
Jake: Until recently.
Greenlee: Ho-ho-ho. Fine. Go ahead, make fun of me. It's a third-grade flashback. No one believes me. You, Leo, and Brooke and the We-Love-Laura fan club always take her side. "Poor Laura, she just had a heart transplant." "Poor Laura, she's having a bad reaction to her meds." "Poor Laura, she wouldn't hurt a fly." It makes me sick!
Jake: You make your own self sick -- I'm tired of hearing it. You sit around here all day in the dark; you're loading up on carbs because life isn't fair. And you are right. Life isn't fair. So go out in a whimper, not a bang. Why don't you take the good advice that you gave me about how to rise above the ashes? Heck no, heck no. Instead, you just want to have a bad hair day. I got better things to do.
Greenlee: Like what?
Jake: Like -- like jumping in the shower and trying to make the best of my afternoon. As a matter of fact, you know what? I think I'm going to call Pat Trowbridge and just pick right up where we left off. So why don't you just go feel sorry for yourself, Greenlee? Knock yourself out. Really.
Greenlee: How does she get away with it? How does Laura always come off smelling like some sweet suckle rose?
Bianca: Here it comes -- the sermon about my future and how I'm too young to make my own choices.
Erica: That's right.
Bianca: Well, I know what I'm doing.
Erica: I don't agree.
Bianca: It's my life.
Erica: Not until you're 21. And until then, I have a say in where you go --
Bianca: And who I see?
Erica: Bianca, listen to me. Maybe I haven't been the best mother. Maybe I've made some mistakes.
Erica: If I have led you to believe that the world is a forgiving place, then I have failed you. People judge you. Whether you think that that's right or wrong, they do, Bianca, okay? That's just the way it is.
Bianca: You know what? I don't care what people think about me.
Erica: Well, you'd better start caring! How do you think your father would feel about what you're doing? Your grandmother would be heartsick about what you're throwing away. And for what, Bianca? For what?
Bianca: You know, I don't understand why you're making such a big deal about this.
Erica: Because it is a big deal! Your entire future is at stake here. So you don't give a damn about your future, that's fine. Well, I do. So from now on, your future is in my hands.
Opal: Erica, honey, you know, Bianca and Frankie are just friends. I'm sure there's no harm done.
Erica: I am not talking about Frankie, at least not at this very moment. Bianca is supposed to be in school. That seems to have slipped everyone's mind.
Opal: Bianca, honey, is that true? Are you playing hooky?
Bianca: I'm not missing anything. They're not teaching the meaning of life today, okay? It's College Day. It's totally optional.
Erica: That is not optional. I've been planning for your college education since the day you were born.
Bianca: That's true. She had my baby blanket embroidered "Class of 2006."
Erica: Bianca, please understand. This is your senior year. There are admissions people. There are recruiting officers at your school. They're the universities, and they're at your school right now. You need to know what information they're giving out and what kind of a student they're looking for.
Bianca: Yeah, so I can fit right in, right? So I can be the perfect college coed, rush a sorority.
Erica: No, don't be so negative. Come on. I mean, you could go there, you could find a perfect college for you.
Bianca: Mom, you didn't even go to college, and look at you. You're the most outrageously successful woman I know.
Erica: This is not about me, Bianca. We are talking about you. And you need to know what they're looking for. You -- you need to do this. I mean, the only way to get ahead in today's world is to have a college degree, or a graduate degree. I mean, that comes with the package.
Bianca: Please stop worrying. I can ace my way into PVU.
Erica: That's probably true. But you -- I mean, you should aim for one of the top schools in the country -- Harvard or Stanford or MIT.
Bianca: MIT? Mom, do I look like a techno geek? You know, I don't even know what I want to major in yet, okay?
Erica: Bianca, that doesn't matter. I mean, you have so many talents. It would be a shame to just throw those talents away. I know in my heart that you can be anything you want to be.
Bianca: Oh, I can be anything I want to be? Can I get that in writing?
Erica: Oh, please -- please understand this. I just want you to experience the best of what life has to offer. And settling for any less, that would just be cheating yourself.
Bianca: Mom, can we please just do this later, okay?
Frankie: Hey, can I get in on this mother-daughter thing for a sec? Listen, your mom is right. Your tail should be in class. Now.
Greenlee's voice: I'll bet wacko Laura's not home sinking her teeth into a quart of mint chocolate chip. Maybe Jake's right. Maybe I need an attitude adjustment. I should try to think the way Laura thinks, penetrate her twisted little brain. But how? How do I enter Laura's twisted psyche? "Basic Psychology." Let's see. "Lycanthropy, manic depression --" here we go. "Narcissism -- intense self-love. Occurs when ego feels all-powerful. Failure to deal with the frustrations may result in psychosis." Dr. McMillan was right. If ever the child fit the poster, it's Laura. How can I use this?
Leo: Laura, this isn't what it looks like.
Laura: Well, it looks like I'm being set up here.
Leo: No, you're not. It's just that we were --
Zora: What's the matter with you? Haven't you told her yet?
Leo: Uh, not exactly, no.
Laura: Wait, wait -- told me what?
Leo: I was just about to tell you just now. I was. I was just about to tell --
Zora: Would you just stop acting like you have a bowl of grits in your mouth and spit it out?
Leo: Okay, okay. Laura, honey, you need help. I need help helping you. Help me help you.
Laura: But you told me that there wasn't any trouble here.
Leo: There's not. It's just -- like I said before, you found out that the meds were making you act a little bit -- hmm -- not quite yourself.
Laura: But we're going to fix that, and that's not a problem.
Leo: I know, I know. But when the new meds kick in, you know, there might be some side effects, and I just -- you know, I just want there to be somebody here with you in case you get sick again, that's all.
Laura: But you'll be here.
Leo: No, I'll be at "Tempo."
Laura: But not all the time.
Leo: Zora -- we talked about this. Remember? We agreed. I need to focus when I'm at work. You need somebody here to watch you.
Laura: Leo, I think it's really sweet that you're so worried about me.
Leo: Of course I'm worried about you. You're my wife.
Laura: But I don't think it's quite fair that we haven't talked about this first.
Leo: Okay, well, we're talking about it right now.
Laura: Well, I don't need a full-time nurse. And I don't want to waste Zora's time.
Leo: Zora likes us. You like us, don't you, Zora?
Zora: My name is Les, I ain't in this mess. I'm sitting this one out.
Laura: I can't believe you've done this behind my back.
Leo: I was doing it for you! For me, for us. You know, peace of mind.
Laura: You told me that you could work from home.
Leo: You know that that's not an option, Laura. Come on. I said that we need to spend some time apart or we're going to detonate.
Laura: Okay. But I don't need a nurse hovering over me, and I don't need her to watch for me to collapse in --
Leo: Just give it a couple of weeks. That's all I'm asking.
Laura: You're making me do this.
Leo: No, I'm not making you do anything. If you don't want Zora to be here, I'm not going to force you to do it. But I'm going to do my damnedest to explain to you that we need her here, Laura. You need her here. Come on, just this -- whoa, whoa, whoa --
Leo: Zora, please, I don't know what the hell to do.
Zora: Laura! Laura! Laura, sweetheart, are you okay? Are you all right? Laura?
Zora: Are you all right?
Laura: What happened?
Leo: You passed out.
Laura: I did?
Laura: Wow. Sorry.
Leo: Here. Come on.
Zora: Come on, come on, easy, easy, easy.
Laura: That's okay. Stupid. It's stupid. I -- I forgot to eat anything today.
Zora: Look, Laura, look, I don't want to push this, okay? But, Sweetheart, it looks to me like you're going to need me around here for a while, all right?
Leo: Laura, honey, you promised me that if I felt strongly about something you would agree with it. We need Zora here.
Laura: Leo, I know I promised you, and if it makes you feel better to have Zora here, I'm cool with that.
Leo: You sure?
Laura: Yeah. It just shows me how much you love me. Isn't he the best, Zora?
Zora: Yeah, well, I've seen and had better. Look, I'm going to make you a bowl of hot chicken soup, okay, and I'm going to make it heavy on the veggies, all right?
Laura: Sounds yummy, but you know what? I got this protein bar.
Zora: Girl, that wouldn't even keep a bird alive.
Laura: Well, I'll just have it till dinner, and then I'll eat a three-course meal at the Valley Inn.
Leo: Laura, you're still shaking. Don't you think maybe we should nix the dinner?
Laura: Hey, I thought there was a ban on overreacting. Look, I'll see you there. Don't forget to wear a tie. Bye, Zora.
Zora: Yeah, bye, Laura. I'll see you later, okay?
Leo: Well, what do you think?
Zora: Well, let me ask you this -- aside from having problems with her meds, is Laura okay?
Leo: Yeah. Why?
Zora: Look, I'm just asking.
Leo: Zora, if -- if there was something wrong with her, you'd be the first one to notice it, right?
Zora: Are you kidding? Nothing, nothing gets by my eagle eyes, okay?
Leo: You're hired.
Zora: Good. Good.
Greenlee: "Narcissists tend to react most aggressively when they perceive that their power base is being threatened." Jeez, this is Laura to the max. I have to figure out a way to trap her to show Leo how totally beyond the fringe she really is.
Greenlee: Your lies are catching up to you, Laura.
Laura: Why are you being so mean to me? I don't feel well.
Greenlee: We both know that's not why you were hiding in the bathroom.
Laura: I had to take my medicine.
Greenlee: Liar! Why was your purse dripping?
Laura: It was kind of wet, huh?
Greenlee: When you came out of the stall, your purse was leaking! Why?
Laura: I already told you. My water bottle broke.
Greenlee: We both know it was a shredded, drenched picture of me, wasn't it? You were trying to flush me to the treatment plant, weren't you? But you're the one who needs treatment, right, Laura?
Greenlee: Why were you trying to flush me out of your life?
Laura: Because Leo belongs to me and no one else. I want his whole heart and soul to revolve around me!
Greenlee: You know what your problem is, Laura? You're a classic narcissist.
Laura: All right, I admit it. I can't share anyone or anything. I must have Leo all to myself.
Greenlee: Is that why you tried to kill me?
Laura: Yes. Then Leo would be all mine.
Greenlee: So then you admit it -- you wanted me dead.
Laura: Yes, and it isn't too late, either.
Greenlee: Leo! Help me!
Laura: Leo can't save you now.
Leo: Oh, you are so wrong, you miserable liar!
Greenlee: So you believe me?
Leo: Yes. Yes, Greenlee. Are you all right?
Greenlee: Yes. You saved my life.
Leo: No, you saved me. You saved me from that narcissist. I'm sorry I ever doubted you, Greenlee.
Greenlee: Oh, I love you, Leo.
Leo: I love you, and I never stopped.
Greenlee: Now we can be together forever.
Jake: Forever, Greenlee? Greenlee. Greenlee? Greenlee? Did I spoil the perfect fantasy?
Bianca: You think I should be in school, Frankie?
Frankie: I think you should listen to your mom.
Frankie: Yeah. School's important. It matters.
Bianca: Okay, I'm out of here.
Opal: I'll see her out.
Erica: Well, Miss Mary Frances, you seem to have some influence over my daughter.
Frankie: Hey, I was just backing you up. School's important.
Erica: Yes, I notice that you're not in school.
Frankie: Hey, I'm working on that.
Frankie: Yeah. Actually, trying to scrape together the money to go to PVU. Yeah, I hear it's a great school for those who are willing to settle.
Erica: I didn't know you were academically inclined.
Frankie: Oh, yeah. Hey, I applied to that school, you know, if I could spell it -- MIT.
Erica: Oh, yeah, you're so clever. I know that. You seem to have no problem getting my daughter to ditch school and come here.
Frankie: Right. I lay down a trail of breadcrumbs and she just followed me home.
Erica: And why did you back me up, Mary Frances?
Frankie: The name's Frankie.
Erica: Were you trying to impress me?
Frankie: Yeah, like that's ever going to happen.
Erica: You listen to me. I don't need anybody to back me up. I certainly don't need you to back me up with my daughter or defend me to my daughter or run interference between my daughter and me. I know her better than anyone in the world, and I'm the one who decides what's right for her. Do you understand me?
Erica: Erica Kane. Yes? Really? She is. Well, that's really fascinating. Thank you. Thank you very much for this information.
Opal: I'm sorry, hon. I couldn't catch up with Bianca.
Erica: No, that's all right. I trust my daughter. Opal, would you like to go to the Valley Inn and have some tea?
Opal: Tea? Now?
Erica: Yes. Oh, there's something I just can't wait to share with you. And when you hear it, so much is going to be explained.
Jake: So where were you just now?
Jake: Did I interrupt a trip to fantasyland?
Greenlee: I was just thinking.
Jake: Nothing, huh? Nothing's got you pretty hot and bothered. Your breathing's rapid, pupils are dilated.
Greenlee: Jake, why do you always do this?
Jake: Do what?
Greenlee: Pop up at the worst possible moment.
Jake: Oh, come on, it had to be quite a fantasy. Don't forget, I do live here.
Greenlee: I just remembered I'm having drinks with my father.
Jake: All right, cocktails with Roger! Too bad I'm not invited. Seriously, enjoy yourself. Cocktails with Roger.
Vanessa: Well, I wonder what is keeping Leo and what's her name.
Palmer: The whole idea of this dinner is absurd.
Vanessa: Oh, Palmer, please. Leo is marrying into one of Pine Valley's top families.
Palmer: They're already married. Why all this folderol?
Vanessa: Well, first of all, it is wildly romantic.
Vanessa: It's a chance to show off a little bit, darling. Think of all the gifts they'll get.
Palmer: Vanessa, you have a one-track mind.
Vanessa: Well, I can't help it if I'm a material girl, and besides, you love it.
Palmer: Yes, well, apparently, you can't.
Leo: All right, sorry I'm late.
Vanessa: Leo, you forgot your tie.
Leo: Drink of vodka.
Vanessa: Let me run upstairs and fetch one of Palmer's.
Palmer: Oh, no, you don't.
Vanessa: All right.
Leo: Thank you.
Vanessa: But honestly, you look so unfinished. Well, here's to the bridegroom.
Leo: Mother, have you noticed something? The chair next to me? Laura's not here yet.
Vanessa: Laura? Dear me. Of course, Darling. Well, what is keeping her, hmm?
Leo: She'll be here. She had to meet with the caterers. Can I get a vodka?
Palmer: Well, I hope she hurries up because I'm starving.
Leo: Eat a breadstick.
Palmer: Well, I still say this wedding is completely unnecessary, to say costly.
Vanessa: Oh, stop fretting, Palmer. We're not footing the bill.
Palmer: That is not the point. Do we even know that Leo wants this wedding?
Vanessa: Well, of course he does.
Palmer: Anybody ask him?
Leo: Hello, I'm right here.
Vanessa: I assume he does.
Palmer: That is your problem.
Leo: Say the secret "woid," you win a hundred bucks.
Vanessa: No, no, stop this, Palmer. Don't do this to me right at this moment. Leo and Laura are going to have the wedding of the year whether they want it or not.
Leo: Why would I want to be part of any wedding that would have me as the groom?
Vanessa: What? Leo!
Leo: Aha, I do exist. I do exist.
Vanessa: All right, just stop being silly.
Leo: Well, at some point, somebody's got to make a laugh. I figured it might as well be me. Could I please get a -- thank you.
Dr. McMillan: Palmer, how are you?
Palmer: Well, Ezekiel.
Ezekiel: Please don't get up.
Palmer: No, no, of course. How are you? How are you? I don't think you know my wife, Vanessa.
Vanessa: How do you do?
Palmer: Oh, and that's her son Leo.
Palmer: Ezekiel McMillan is the hospital's chief of psychiatry.
Vanessa: Oh, really? How fascinating. Working on any interesting cases?
Ezekiel: Oh, the usual.
Palmer: Would you care to join us for dinner?
Ezekiel: No, thank you, but I'm meeting a reporter. It's rather strange. I got a phone call requesting an interview for some news story, but I don't see her here.
Nurse: Oh, are you looking for Dr. McMillan?
Laura: Oh, sort of, yeah.
Nurse: He's gone for the day. If you want to make an appointment, you can call his receptionist in the morning.
Laura: Okay, thanks. Good night.
Woman: I can't show you another patient's file.
Laura: The other patient is impersonating me. Don't you think I have a right to see it?
Laura: You have to let me see that file!
Woman: I sure as hell do not. Look, I'll talk to Dr. McMillan about this, okay, but that's the best I can do. I mean, I'm sorry that somebody is messing with your head, but I really can't get in the middle of it, all right?
Laura: Is it in there?
Woman: Look, you have to go. I said I would talk to Dr. McMillan about this.
Laura: Look, I have a right to see that file.
Woman: It's not up to me to decide.
Greenlee's voice: I think this will go better if you call me Laura.
Greenlee's voice: And I do this thing where I compare myself every which way to my husband's old girlfriend. She has this fabulous sense of style, completely couture, you know? And I'm fashion challenged. Trust me, Dr. McMillan, by nature, I'm sort of grungy.
Ezekiel's voice: So you try to dress up like another woman to please your husband.
Greenlee's voice: Duh! No. I can't compete with her on that level.
Ezekiel's voice: But you do try to compete.
Greenlee's voice: Yes. But it's a losing battle.
Ezekiel's voice: Why is that, Laura?
Greenlee's voice: They're both so sophisticated. I mean, they know about art and wine and food and -- and, well, sex. They had incredible sex, and ours is just -- routine.
Greenlee's voice: Do you have a diagnosis?
Ezekiel's voice: Strangely enough, I do. Laura is a narcissist. In certain situations, they seem to lose a sense of reality. They act out; they lie. They abuse others selfishly. Now, does any of this sound familiar to you, Laura?
Greenlee's voice: Absolutely.
Ezekiel's voice: You're dealing with someone who has no conscience.
Greenlee's voice: Oh.
Laura: Oh, Greenlee, you are so dead.
Ezekiel: This press person seems to be a no-show.
Palmer: Yeah, well, it is inconsiderate to keep people waiting.
Vanessa: Leo, darling, it is getting rather late.
Leo: Okay. Fine. I'll go look for Laura.
Ezekiel: I'll walk out with you.
Leo: All right.
Ezekiel: Vanessa, very nice to meet you.
Vanessa: A pleasure.
Ezekiel: Palmer, we still on for golf tomorrow?
Palmer: Yes. Tee time, 7:00, right?
Ezekiel: See you on the first green. Good evening, Mrs. Du Pres.
Leo: Mrs. Du Pres?
Frankie: Hi, yourself.
Bianca: Can I come in?
Frankie: Door's already open.
Bianca: I waited outside till my mom left. I didn't want to go to school.
Frankie: Why not?
Bianca: I just -- I'm just not in the mood for College Day. So what do you want to do? We could go to the mall or check out a movie or something.
Frankie: Yeah, I don't think so. You know, you're a total jerk. Sorry, but I don't hang out with jerks.
Erica: Good evening, Palmer.
Palmer: Well, Erica.
Vanessa: Erica, Opal. Ha! What an unpleasant surprise. Don't sit down.
Erica: Vanessa, I have a picture that I want to show you, from "The Exposer."
Vanessa: Oh, really? Where'd you pick that tabloid up? At her salon?
Erica: Just take a look at it, Vanessa.
Vanessa: Well --
Erica: Take a good long look at that picture.
Vanessa: Of course.
Vanessa: Oh, my God.
Palmer: What is it, Erica? What's this all about?
Erica: The young woman in the picture happens to be a con artist by the name of Mary Frances Stone.
Palmer: The name means nothing to me.
Erica: It means a lot to your wife because Frankie Stone happens to be Vanessa's niece.
>> On the next "All My Children" --
Chris: I know what you're up to.
David: What's going on?
Ezekiel: Who are you and what are you doing in my office?
Greenlee: I am not crazy!
Erica: You have crossed the line. Nobody goes after my daughter without dealing with me.
Frankie: What are you getting from this, anyway?