AMC Transcript Friday 9/28/01

All My Children Transcript Friday 9/28/01

Provided by Amanda
Proofread by Jennifer

Rosa: Teo, you are being the biggest freakazoid. What is up with --

Rosa: What? Where did you get that? Shut up. You did not.

Mateo: If -- if you tell me the truth right now, I'm not going to get mad, ok? Where'd you get it?

Rosa: You seriously think that's mine? Teo, I'm -- I am not a pothead. I don't even smoke!

Mateo: Don't lie to me!

Rosa: Teo, I swear on papa's grave that is not mine.

Hayley: Edmund.

Edmund: Yeah?

Hayley: Has my disappearing husband reappeared yet?

Edmund: I think he's with Rosa.

Hayley: Did I miss something?

Edmund: You know, I learned a long time ago to keep my nose out of the Santos family dysfunctions and I'm not going to change that policy now. Really, I don't know what's going on.

Hayley: Something is going on. Mateo was a wreck at the Christening.

Edmund: Maybe it's just new-father jitters. I mean, everybody gets them.

Hayley: Uh-uh. This is something much more than that.

Greenlee: I know you hate me these days, but I think you know who I am and you know I didn't appreciate Erica's little announcement about me and the campaign.

Leo: Oh, you loved it, Greenlee.

Greenlee: I was humiliated.

Jake: Listen, why don't you just let it go, Leo. We were just leaving and you should be with your wife.

Leo: Don't tell me where I should be, ok, Jake?

Jake: Where is Laura, anyway?

Leo: Don't tell me where I should be, all right?

Jake: We heard you, Leo.

Leo: No, listen to me, she's taking her meds. I thought she was just here.

Greenlee: Oh, please, are you two serious? Taking her meds, my eye. [Toilet flushes]

Greenlee: Laura?

Greenlee: Laura? Is that you? Are you all right?

Erica: Are you all right?

woman: Do I look all right? Oh. Ow.

Erica: Jack, hi, it's Erica. Jack, I need your help. No, Jack, please wait a minute. Please listen -- Jack, a girl threw herself in front of my car. Yeah, you could say that.

woman: Are you for real? Threw myself in front of your car?

Erica: Yes.

woman: Lady, you hit me!

Erica: Yeah, that's her, that's her, Jack. I don't know. I really don't know. She is making an awful lot of odd faces, though.

woman: You just hit me with your car. You want smiles?

Erica: Valley Road, Jack, just about a mile past the lake. No, no, I didn't, and I don't think it's necessary, Jack. Please, please, will you just hurry? Ok, that's taken care of.

woman: Don't most people call 911 when there's an accident? What's with you calling some high-end specialist or whatever?

Erica: I wasn't talking to a doctor.

woman: Then who the hell's Jack?

Erica: My lawyer.

woman: You called your lawyer?

Erica: Yes, I did.

woman: Are you for real?

Erica: Yes, I am. But you're not, and we both know it.

woman: You think I'm faking? Who the hell -- wait a minute. You're -- you're Erica freaking Kane.

Erica: Oh, lovely.

woman: You stabbed your husband with a letter-opener.

Erica: Oh, now, just a minute here.

woman: Of all the people to get mowed down by, I have to get a psychopath?

Erica: What did you call me?

woman: So it's true -- what the tabloids said about you?

Erica: Oh, you listen to me, I saw you. I saw you standing by the side of the road. You watched to see what kind of car I was driving before you threw yourself in front of it!

woman: You are a loony tune! I was crossing the street and you were driving like a lunatic!

Erica: This is a deserted stretch of road. This isn't a street. And there's nothing to cross to, be there?

woman: You actually believe the idiocy that is coming out of your mouth. You really do.

Erica: Jack.

Jack: I went ahead and called an ambulance. Are you ok? Yeah, yeah? Whoa, whoa, what was injured?

Erica: The hood of my car when she jumped on it, Jack.

Jack: Are you cold? She's cold. She needs a blanket.

Erica: Well, for what?

Jack: For shock. She's going into shock. There's one in my trunk.

Erica: Jack --

Jack: What?

Erica: Jack, she's faking. This is a complete setup.

Jack: What? How can you say a thing like that? You just hit her with your car, didn't you?

Erica: Jack, I grazed her at the most. I'm telling you, you should've seen the acrobatics she -- she did to handle this. I mean, a Russian judge would've given her a 10.

Jack: What are you talking about, Erica?

Erica: She threw herself on the hood of my car, Jack. I saw her! I saw her stand -- I mean, she came out of nowhere, but I saw it, Jack. I mean, for God's sakes, this is not my fault.

Jack: No, of course not. Never is. [Sirens approach] [sirens stop]

Jack: Wait, wait, wait, wait. Where are you going? I'm sorry.

Erica: I'm going to talk to the police and I'm going to go tell them and the ambulance crew --

Jack: No, no, no, no.

Erica: Exactly what happened here.

Jack: You are going to say nothing, nada, niente, understand me?

Erica: They have to hear my side of the story, Jack.

Jack: No, they most certainly do not. I want you to keep your mouth shut.

Erica: Excuse me?

Jack: Look, you called for my help. Now will you please, please just listen to me?

Erica: Jack, this is a con artist. She's trying to take advantage of me.

Jack: Ok, even if that happens to be true, I still don't want you to say a word, not to anybody, ok, please. Easy, easy, easy. Try not move. Let me just get this around you and get you warm here.

woman: Thank you.

Greenlee: Are you ok, Laura?

Greenlee: Laura?

Laura: I'm fine!

Greenlee: Gee, should I get Leo?

Laura: I'm fine, ok?

Greenlee: Gosh. What happened to your bag?

Laura: My bottle of water exploded.

Greenlee: Really? That must have been some big bottle of water.

Laura: It was nothing, ok? The plastic cracked and stuff got everywhere, that's all.

Greenlee: Really? Is it still in there? Maybe you should --

Laura: Hey, back off, bitch! All right, do you hear me? Just back off!

Officer: Excuse me.

Chris: Yeah?

Officer: Can I see the manager?

Chris: He's Mr. M.I.A. Can I help you?

Officer: We got a call about a car accident on Valley Road about a mile from the lake. Apparently the person in the car was a guest here. This a private party or something?

Chris: No, it's a Christening party. Who was the --

Officer: Do you know someone named Erica Kane?

Bianca: Oh, my God, Chris.

Officer: Well, she's already at the hospital, but --

Bianca: Oh, my God!

Chris: Wait a minute!

Officer: She's unhurt.

Chris: That was her daughter. You handled that really well.

Officer: Was Ms. Kane here?

Chris: Well, she wasn't drinking, if that's what you're getting at.

Officer: Well, you know her?

Chris: Look, I'll tell you what I do know if you'd give me a ride down to the hospital, ok? Come on.

Leo: So you know who my wife is then?

Waitress: Yeah. I saw your picture in the paper.

Leo: Tell me where she is. It's important.

Waitress: That's an awful short leash you --

Leo: Listen, lady, I need to find my wife, ok?

Waitress: She's in the bathroom. Man.

Jake: Any luck?

Leo: The waitress said she's in the bathroom. It's been a long time, though, right?

Jake: I don't know. I don't know.

Leo: Tell me why she went to see you at the hospital today, Jake.

Leo: She said it was for a checkup, but I know she's going to see my brother for a checkup next week, so --

Jake: So she did tell you?

Leo: No, Greenlee did. She was acting like it was just -- she was just talking, but I could tell she knew something, like maybe I didn't know and she didn't want -- Laura didn't want me to know.

Jake: Look, I'm sorry about that because Greenlee had no right telling you.

Leo: What's the big -- Jake, what's the big secret? Why did she -- why did she go see you at the hospital today?

Jake: Laura did not want me to tell you because she didn't want to worry you.

Leo: Should I be worried? Jake, come on.

Jake: Leo, I cannot tell you --

Leo: Why?

Jake: Why I saw Laura.

Leo: What? Why?

Jake: Because she asked me not to. All right, and I have to honor her wishes.

Mateo: Look, I didn't mean to yell at you and make you upset. I'm sorry.

Rosa: I swear I don't know how that junk got in my purse, Teo.

Mateo: I believe you. Did you go -- when you went to the chapel, did you leave the purse anywhere?

Rosa: Well, yeah, I left it on the pew during the ceremony. I mean, I was doing the Godmother thing. I just threw my shawl on it and -- I mean, we were there with family. I didn't think --

Mateo: When you came here, did you leave it anywhere, you know, out of sight?

Rosa: Uh -- yeah. Right when I came in, I went straight to the kitchen to do the cake stuff and I just threw it on the bar. I mean, who would do this? I don't understand why.

Mateo: I don't know.

Rosa: Teo, you don't think that it would be Marcus or one of Marcus' -- I mean, his friends are always trying to protect him and they're calling me names and stuff. He was the one that tried to rape me. It doesn't make any sense.

Mateo: No, listen, Marcus has nothing to do with this.

Rosa: Well, then who? Why? Teo, you know something, don't you?

Mateo: Uh --

Rosa: Come on, Mateo, this is about me.

Mateo: No! No, no. I can't. Just -- just don't tell anybody about this, ok? Just listen to what I told you about being alert. Don't tell mom, don't tell Hayley, you understand me? Especially not Hayley. All right? [Key turns in lock]

Rosa: What is that?

Mateo: Where's the weed?

Hayley: Mateo?

Hayley: What is going on?

Mateo: It's, um -- we were talking -- it's a surprise.

Hayley: For the baby?

Mateo: For the baby, right.

Hayley: Well, since the baby's only a couple hundred hours old, then maybe you should let me see the surprise for him.

Mateo: Well --

Rosa: Yeah, close your eyes. Close them.

Hayley: Hmm.

Mateo: Where --

Hayley: Oh, was I just duped? Oh, I was duped.

Mateo: You see, she -- she really wants --

Hayley: You're a liar. You're a liar and you're lying to me.

Mateo: Wait, wait, wait --

Hayley: You are a liar --

Mateo: I'm not lying.

Hayley: And your sister is a liar and you're both lying.

Mateo: She's not -- we're not lying. It's --

Hayley: You've been acting like a maniac ever since the Christening. Oh, I'm sorry, your son's Christening, where you took a phone call in the middle of your son's Christening.

Mateo: I can exp--

Hayley: And you've been acting like a freak ever since.

Isabella: Hey! Ninos, come on. Edmund's waiting to make a toast.

Mateo: Yeah, yeah, we'll be right there. We'll be right there. We should go. Ok?

Hayley: Not over, Mateo.

Edmund: And I'd like to thank Hayley and Mateo for having us here. Seriously, folks, there is nothing more important than raising your children. Nothing. And I know that this baby will be raised with all the love and the strength that these parents will give it. To family.

All: To family.

Leo: Jake, please tell me why Laura came to see you at the hospital.

Jake: Look, Leo, Laura is not even my patient. I am covering for David until he gets back from --

Leo: Just answer my question.

Jake: Do you know what doctor/patient confidentiality is?

Leo: Jake, don't talk to me like I'm a child, ok? Answer my question. I'm worried about my wife.

Jake: I understand that, Leo.

Leo: She's been acting weird lately -- really weird and different. And this whole thing about not telling you why she went to see you, I just don't get it.

Jake: All right, all right. Well, do you think that maybe she needs to see someone professionally?

Leo: Uh, you're the one who examined her. What do you think?

Greenlee: Ok, Laura. If it doesn't bother you that your purse is leaking, sure doesn't bother me.

Laura: Why are you talking to me like that?

Greenlee: Like what? Look, I came looking for you so that I could apologize.

Laura: Oh. Twice in one night? What, are either of them real?

Greenlee: I'm, like, so sorry that I spilled the beans or something on you in the park.

Laura: Yeah, just forget it.

Greenlee: I mean, clearly I shouldn't have let it slip that I saw you at the hospital with Jake. You know, Leo looked really surprised. I just assumed that --

Laura: Yeah, don't assume anything, Greenlee, ok?

Greenlee: I just know you and Leo talk about everything, and I just never thought something so important --

Laura: Are you through?

Greenlee: Another thing, different topic -- I had nothing to do with Erica's unveiling out there.

Laura: Yeah, that was your campaign idea.

Greenlee: Oh, it is, and it rocks. But I never asked her to announce anything and I didn't know she was going to use my face. But you have to admit it was a pretty nice picture of me, huh? I mean, even Leo couldn't stop looking at it.

Laura: What a pathetic campaign idea. What, don't let go after you've been dumped? You're going to sell, what, 10 bottles of perfume after that idea?

Greenlee: Oh. I know Leo told you that we had a talk, right? He made it very clear how he feels about me.

Laura: Good.

Greenlee: Yeah. He told me he made love to you in the car we were in and then he drove me to the place where you did it and everything. Yeah. He really gave it to me.

Laura: You deserved it.

Greenlee: Yeah. He told me real love isn't about sex. He must really love you, Laura.


Joe: Hello. I'm Dr. Martin.

woman: And I'm fine, no thanks to her.

Erica: Hey!

E.M.T.: Her vitals are stable. No broken bones, no lacerations, no head trauma.

Second E.M.T.: It's a possible hip bruise, maybe a turned ankle.

Erica: There, does that sound like somebody who --

Jack: Shh!

Erica: Has just been hit by a fast-moving car?

Jack: Please.

woman: You know this psycho, Dr. Martin? Do you know that she drives like a stock car racer on drugs?

Joe: Erica, did you or did you not hit this young woman with your car?

Erica: She hit me.

Joe: She hit your car with her hip?

Erica: She's a scam artist, Joe.

Jack: Erica, I mean it. Do you want me to carry you out of here for your own good?

Erica: Oh, what, you, too?

Bianca: Mom!

Jack: What's that supposed to mean?

Erica: Oh, baby, hi! Hi, honey, I'm fine, I'm fine. How did you find out about this?

Bianca: A cop came to S.O.S. and just said that you were in an accident.

Erica: A cop? Mr. Stamp?

Chris: They're going to want to talk to you, Ms. Kane.

Erica: About what?

Chris: They need to file an accident report and there are some facts they have to get straight.

Jack: Well, now isn't that insightful. Thank you.

Chris: Just don't be antagonistic, ok?

Erica: Well, what are they implying?

Officer: Ms. Kane, were you at a party at S.O.S. prior to the incident?

Erica: Yes. Why?

Officer: Were you engaged in some sort of altercation at a bar with a man?

Erica: Jackson?

Jack: Officers, what -- what is your point here?

Officer: We have an eyewitness account that Ms. Kane was involved in a very volatile argument with this man and was in no condition to drive anywhere tonight. Is that an accurate description of the events, Ms. Kane?

Officer: Did you have anything to drink at the bar, Ms. Kane?

woman: She was driving like she did.

Bianca: Hey.

Erica: I don't drink. I am famous for not drinking, thank you very much.

woman: People have been known to slip.

Bianca: Oh, God.

Jack: Look, Ms. Kane is sober. She does not drink alcohol of any kind. I'm sure she would be happy to submit to a Breathalyzer test if --

Erica: Yes, absolutely. Yes, bring it on. I'll probably break that Breathalyzer thing, my breath is so clean.

woman: Oh, are you for real?

Chris: I didn't say she was drinking. I said she was emotional.

Erica: You told them I was emotional?

Chris: You are emotional.

Erica: So all of a sudden that means I can't drive a car?

woman: Hello! You almost emotionally drove me off the side of the road!

Erica: Will you please stop being so obtuse, people? I am the victim here, not this -- this --

woman: Pick a name, any name.

Erica: Con artist!

woman: Well, I wouldn't have picked that one.

Bianca: Look, are you hurt?

Joe: Oh, I think she's fine. Got to run some tests just to be sure.

Erica: Joe, don't waste your time. She's pulling one of the oldest con tricks in the world and you are all falling for her, you morons!

Jack: Do I have to put surgical tape over your mouth to shut you up?

Joe: So, we're going to admit you.

woman: No, I'm ok.

Joe: Humor me.

woman: Well, I'm not.

Joe: It's ok.

woman: But I am.

Bianca: Let me get this straight -- you hit her with your car and you think that she planned it?

Erica: Bianca, she must be an acrobat. She must be a gymnast. I swear to you I am not joking here. I believe she must be trained for this kind of thing.

Bianca: Trained?

Erica: Yes, to fake accidents to extort money from people.

Bianca: Ok, look, you stay with Uncle Jack. I'm going to see what I can find out about her, ok?

Erica: Well, I don't want Bianca doing this by herself.

Jack: Whoa, whoa -- hey!

Erica: Don't touch me again, you gorilla!

Chris: Oh, boy.

Officer: You know what -- you're coming down to the station house with us.

Erica: I am not. Jack?

Jack: Oh, now you want to listen to me?

Erica: Stop them, please.

Jack: I suggest you call a lawyer.

Erica: You're my lawyer.

Jack: No, no, Erica, I am not your lawyer --

Erica: What?

Jack: Because I just told you 10 times to shut up and you won't listen to me. Now you got this cop so damn mad, he's going to take you downtown and grill you.

Erica: But -- but I have to tell him what happened.

Jack: I am not your counsel. I start at the D.A.'s office tomorrow morning.

Officer: Maybe she'll be your first indictment.

Erica: Jack --

Jack: Shut up.

Erica: Jack, you're telling me that you're not going to do anything to stop them?

Chris: I wasn't going to get involved in this --

Jack: Then don't!

Chris: Look, you have no probable cause except that this lady's attitude is bugging you. You can't force her to go with you, so why don't you just -- just back off right now, ok?

Bianca: Dr. Joe, do you really think she's going to be ok?

Joe: I think she'll be fine, but I've decided to keep her overnight for observation.

Bianca: Well, why, I mean, if you don't think that she's hurt?

Joe: Well, doesn't appear to have anyplace to go. You see, ordinarily in cases like these, we release the patient to their families, but the young woman says she doesn't have any. So even though she appears to be perfectly ok, she really shouldn't be alone tonight.

Bianca: Is she a runaway?

Joe: No, no, no, she's not a minor, but she doesn't want to talk about where she comes from.

Bianca: What's her name?

Joe: We don't know. She won't say. But I believe the intake nurse will get it out of her. We have our ways. [Pager beeps]

Joe: Excuse me.

Bianca: Ok.

Joe: I have to take this.

Bianca: All right.

woman: What the hell do you want?

Bianca: I wanted to --

woman: Finish what your mother started, huh?

Greenlee: Wow. You're a little edgy, huh? I was trying to be nice. I was trying to extend the old olive branch and you hit me. Is it those nasty meds you've been taking, Laura, or are you really just a colossal --

Laura: I may not be everything you are sexually, Greenlee, but I am everything Leo needs and wants. And you will not enchant him back into your bed, do you hear me?

Greenlee: Speaking of that, have you seen the copy? Because Erica's going to want --

Laura: Stay out of my way!

Greenlee: You really want to go nine rounds with me, transplant girl?

Jake: Leo, transplant patients can go through a kind of depression, and even though they're getting better and they're thriving, the shock of the trauma they've been through can catch up with them and before you know --

Leo: I mean, she's not -- she's not depressed. She's overanxious maybe, but not depressed.

Jake: She needs stability.

Leo: I'm giving her that.

Jake: Leo, every day Greenlee tells me that she has run into you and the two of you have had it out. Do you really think that's any kind of stability for Laura?

Laura: Leo.

Jake: Hey, hey, there she is.

Laura: Hi. I'm ready to go when you are. Ahem.

Leo: Where have you been?

Laura: Oh, I just was in the ladies' room. I needed to get away from the party for a little. I'm fine.

Leo: Ok. All right. Later.

Jake: Ok, great, great.

Laura: Good night.

Jake: See you around.

Greenlee: Huh.

Jake: I know what you did.

Greenlee: When?

Jake: You slipped and you told Leo about Laura visiting the E.R.

Greenlee: No, Jake, I didn't tell Leo about --

Jack: No, don't, Greenlee, ok? You're trying to cause trouble and those two people have enough to deal with.

Greenlee: You know, you think I'm doing this to win Leo back, but you're wrong.

Jake: No, I'm not wrong, Greenlee. You're up to your games again.

Rosa: Hi.

Ryan: You ok?

Rosa: Oh, yeah, yeah, fine. Just a lot of people, I guess.

Ryan: I followed you out here. I'm Ryan Lavery. Hayley and I are friends.

Rosa: Yeah, I know who you are.

Ryan: Ahem.

Rosa: I'm sorry about your wife.

Ryan: Thank you, Rosa.

Rosa: You know who I am, too.

Ryan: I saw your face when -- when Edmund was making that toast.

Rosa: Yeah, he was married to my sister Maria. She passed away, also.

Ryan: Yeah, I know. And I know you've had a really rough summer.

Rosa: There aren't many secrets in this town, huh?

Ryan: No, not too many. I bet I know what you're thinking.

Rosa: I doubt it.

Ryan: You're thinking that there's -- there's a whole world full of people out there who have no idea who you are, where you've been, what you've gone through. And you're thinking you want to go there and you want to reinvent yourself.

Rosa: And never look back.

Ryan: Doesn't work that way, Rosa. It always catches up to you.

Rosa: What?

Ryan: Your past, who you are. Always.

Ryan: You have a room full of people in there that love you. Your family would do absolutely anything for you. Do you have any idea how lucky that makes you?

Rosa: I have a big family. They're always looking for new recruits. Do you want to come inside with me?

Ryan: Rain check. Ahem.

Rosa: Well, a rain check means I'll see you again.

Ryan: I have nowhere else to go, Rosa.

Mateo: Ma?

Isabella: Mm-hmm?

Mateo: Where's Rosa?

Isabella: Oh, she's outside the club, talking to Ryan Lavery.

Mateo: What? Why?

Isabella: Well, he saw her run out and he told me he was going to talk to her. I'll go check on them, all right?

Mateo: Yeah.

Isabella: Don't worry, don't worry.

Mateo: Yeah, please.

Hayley: Ok, what's the surprise? You going to show me? Hmm? Hmm, hmm, hmm?

Mateo: Well, if I showed you, it wouldn't be a surprise, right?

Hayley: Oh, I see. You're going to do the silent Latin thing? That's fine. It won't last.

Mateo: Mm-hmm.

Hayley: Mm-hmm.

Edmund: What the hell's going on?

Mateo: Come on.

Edmund: Locking the door?

Mateo: Can I trust you?

Edmund: Of course.

Mateo: The package that you gave to me at the chapel -- remember that?

Edmund: This it. Whoa.

Mateo: Cash.

Edmund: Lot of cash in here.

Mateo: For me.

Edmund: Who from?

Mateo: I don't know. I've been getting phone calls all day. You know, the mechanical voice, the one that they alter when they speak into it?

Edmund: Yeah?

Mateo: They want me to cooperate with them. They want to run drugs through S.O.S. and if I don't cooperate, they're going to target my family. What am I going to do?

Leo: I want you to tell me why you went to see Jake at the hospital today. I want to know what you talked about with him. If you can't tell me, if you can't tell me the truth, then there's no point in us being married.

Chris: Look, I'll vouch for Ms. Kane. She's not going anywhere, she wasn't drinking, and she hasn't done anything wrong. It was an accident.

Officer: Well, we may call with more questions.

Jack: Yeah, well, you know where you can find me.

Officer: All right.

Erica: Thank you, Mr. Stamp. Oh, Jack, and you, too.

Jack: Oh, no, no, not me. No, no, no, this is all about him tonight. He's your white knight du jour.

Erica: Jack, are you leaving?

Jack: Oh, yeah.

Chris: Well, I, uh, guess you're stuck with me again. Want to make out?

Bianca: Look, my mother didn't try to kill you and, as long as you stop being such a brat, I won't either. And for what it's worth, I don't buy the acrobat story.

woman: You're on my side?

Bianca: I'm on the side of logic. That doesn't always include my mother. But I do know that she wasn't trying to hurt you, ok?

woman: Ok, well, I did not throw myself in front of a car. You got that?

Bianca: Yeah, I got it. I'm Bianca. Ok, this is where you chime in and you tell me what your name is.

woman: Mary Frances. But if you call me that, I will run you over with your mother's hot rod.

Bianca: What do I call you then?

woman: Frankie. Not that it matters.

Bianca: Why wouldn't it matter?

Frankie: Because I am out of here, Bianca-la.

Greenlee: I'm telling you, Jake, I'm not chasing after Leo here. Laura is losing it.

Jake: What do you mean she's losing it? Leo doesn't want you. Now you've come up with this new idea that she's crazy.

Greenlee: I didn't say she was crazy.

Jake: What then?

Greenlee: Jake, she was standing in the ladies' room with a dripping purse.

Jake: Oh, my gosh. You know how unappealing "desperate" looks on you?

Greenlee: "Desperate"? She hit me.

Jake: Unprovoked, I'm sure, Greenlee.

Greenlee: Jake, she slapped me across the face. I mean, don't you think Leo should know that the woman he's married to is losing it?

Jake: Don't you know how stupid you look? I mean, come on, you told me, "I'm 100% over Leo." Now look at you! You're challenging Laura in public! You're cornering her in a bathroom and you're questioning her sanity because her purse is wet!

Greenlee: Jake --

Jake: Don't you see that you are demeaning and degrading yourself? I mean, come on, Greenlee, why don't you just give it a fricking rest. Please.

Greenlee: Holy moley, Leo. You have no idea what you're sleeping next to tonight, do you?

Laura: Leo, don't say things like that. I went to Jake today because I wanted to get a clean bill of health for us.

Leo: What do you mean, "for us"?

Laura: Leo, I want to marry you again.

Leo: What?

Laura: I mean, it was beautiful the first time, but I was in a wheelchair and I want to do it the right way, in front of everyone. I want the whole world to know how happy we are. Can't you just see it? We can renew our vows the way they should've been said, in front of everyone we know.

Ryan: The room hasn't been cleaned, the rest of the trash is still there. Where's my picture? I don't even know why I kept this. I mean, it's like they're complete strangers.

Chris: Ryan, don't! Don't do it.

Ryan: What the hell does he want with a picture of my parents?

Edmund: I'm not surprised they came after you, Mateo.

Mateo: What are you talking about?

Edmund: I'm doing a story for "Tempo" about drugs, smuggling. As far as I can gather, they're all under one guy's thumbs.

Mateo: Who?

Edmund: He's called Proteus. He's never been caught. He has cartels in South America, Europe, and, for some God-knows reason, the east coast, Pine Valley is now ground zero.

Mateo: What? Wait a minute, why do they call him Proteus?

Edmund: It's a Greek mythology character. He can change his appearance at will.

Mateo: Meaning what?

Edmund: Meaning he could be anyone.

Erica: I have no intention of making out with you, Mr. Stamp.

Chris: Darn!

Erica: But I do thank you. I really thank you for getting the police to leave me alone. You do see, don't you, that I've done nothing wrong?

Chris: Except mowed down some chick with an attitude the size of PA.

Erica: That chick is truly trying to scam me out of millions, believe me.

Bianca: You can't even stand up by yourself.

Frankie: I'll lean. Don't, ok? I've got it covered. I'm just bruised, but I can walk. But you're sweet to care, Bianca-la.