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Darren: An hour's drive to hear that crap. You know, it wasn't even a band. A guy with a guitar. An hour each way. Brooke: He wasn't that bad. Darren: He sounded like James Blunt. Brooke: What's wrong with that? Darren: We already have a James Blunt. One's all we need.

JENNA: Toast. I can make toast. ELENA: It's all about the coffee, aunt Jenna. JEREMY: Is there coffee? JENNA: Your first day of school and I'm totally unprepared. Lunch money? ELENA: I'm good. JENNA: Anything else? A number two pencil? What am I missing? ELENA: Don't you have a big presentation today? JENNA: I'm meeting with my thesis advisor Crap! ELENA: Then go. We'll be fine. You ok? JEREMY: Don't start.

BONNIE: So grams is telling me I'm psychic. Our ancestors were from salem, which isn't all that, I know, crazy, but she's going on and on about it, and I'm like, put this woman in a home already! But then I started thinking, I predicted Obama and I predicted Heath Ledger, and I still think Florida will break off and turn into little resort islands...

BONNIE: Major lack of male real estate. Look at the shower curtain on Kelly bitch. She looks a hot-- Can I still say "tranny mess"? ELENA: No, that's over. BONNIE: Ahh, find a man, coin a phrase. It's a busy year.

ELENA: He hates me. BONNIE: That's not hate. That's "you dumped me, but I'm too cool to show it, but secretly I'm listening to air supply's greatest hits."

TYLER: Hey, Vicki. I knew I'd find you here with the crackheads. VICKI: Hey. TYLER: Hey, Pete Wentz called. He wants his nail polish back. JEREMY: Pete Wentz, huh? How old school T.R.L. of you. Carson Daly fan?

BONNIE: I'm sensing seattle, and he plays the guitar. ELENA: You're really going to run this whole psychic thing into the ground, huh? BONNIE: Pretty much.

ELENA: Were you following me? STEFAN: No, I, uh, I just-- I saw you fall. ELENA: Uh-Huh, and you just happened to be hanging out in a cemetery. STEFAN: I'm visiting. I have family here. ELENA: Oh. Wow. Tactless. I'm sorry. It's the fog, It's making me foggy. And then back there, there was this bird, and it was all very hitchcock for a second. That is the bird movie, right, the hitchcock?

MATT: Please tell me you're not hooking up with my sister. TYLER: I'm not hooking up with your sister. MATT: You're such a dick.

JEREMY: Hey, what's your deal? I mean, summer you act one way and then school starts and you can't be bothered. VICKI: Look, Jeremy, I really appreciate all the pharmaceuticals, but you can't keep following me around like a lost puppy. JEREMY: When's the last time you had sex with a puppy? VICKI: Hey, keep it down. I don't want to tell the whole world I deflowered Elena's kid brother.

CAROLINE: His name is Stefan Salvatore. He lives with uncle up at the old Salvatore boarding house. He hasn't lived here since he was a kid. Military family, so they moved around a lot. He's a gemini, and his favorite color is blue. BONNIE: You got all of that in one day? CAROLINE: Oh, please, I got all that between third and fourth period. We're planning a june wedding.

ELENA: Oh. STEFAN: Sorry, I was about to knock. I wanted to apologize for my disappearing act earlier. I know it was... Strange. ELENA: No worries. I get it, blood makes you squeamish. STEFAN: Um, something like that.

TEACHER: Cute becomes dumb in an instant, Ms. Bennett. Mr. Donovan. Would you like to take this opportunity to overcome your embedded jock stereotype? MATT: It's ok, Mr Tanner, I'm cool with it.

BONNIE: So where is he? ELENA: I don't know. You tell me, you're the psychic one. BONNIE: Right, I forgot. Ok, so give me a sec. Grams says I have to concentrate. ELENA: Wait, you need a crystal ball.

ELENA: You know, you're kind of the talk of the town. STEFAN: Am I? ELENA: Mm-Hmm. Mysterious new guy, oh, yeah. STEFAN: Well, you have the mysterious thing going, too. Twinged in sadness. ELENA: What makes you think that I'm sad? STEFAN: Well, we did meet in a graveyard.

VICKI: No, Ty. I'm not having sex against a tree. TYLER: Oh, come on, it would be hot. VICKI: For who?

STEFAN: Crow's a bit much, don't you think? DAMON: Wait till you see what I can do with the fog. STEFAN: When'd you get here? DAMON: Well, I couldn't miss your first day at school. Your hair's different. I like it. STEFAN: It's been 15 years, Damon. DAMON: Thank god. I couldn't take another day of the nineties. That horrible grunge look? Did not suit you. Remember, Stefan, it's important to stay away from fads.

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