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Smallville Transcripts


First aired February 12, 2010

Chloe and Stephen Swift

Provided by Suzanne
Proofread by Suzan D.

Boy: This is awesome. Oh. Warrior Angel … Hey, Harry, is it true that no one's ever read it before? I read on the internet that no one in the whole wide world knows what the Warrior Angel's secret battle cry is. You've got to let me take a look at this!
Harry: Nah, nah, you know better than that. Anybody opens that book, the value drops.
Boy: I know, but aren't you at least curious what's inside?4CBB09D0.JPG
Harry: Of course. I mean, who wouldn't? But if I so much as breathe at it funny... my boss would kill me. Besides, there's nothing in that fantasy world that's gonna make a lick of difference out here in the real one, kid.
[ Papers rustling ]
Harry: Somebody stole my comic book!
Boy: [bumps into Stormtrooper] I'm sorry. [runs away]

[Stormtrooper bumps into Chloe]

Chloe: Hey!
Lois: Sorry. I can't see a thing in this helmet.
Chloe: [ Laughs ] Lois.
Lois: This is not what I had in mind when Randall said I got to be embedded journalist for the day.
Chloe: Come on. It shouldn't be hard for Lois Lane to nail down a human-interest piece here.
Lois: Save the hammer. Mama's gonna need a crowbar. I can't get anything out of these people. They keep looking at me like I'm from another planet... which is saying something.
Chloe: You know, no offense, but that armor doesn't exactly make you Ms. Approachable.
Lois: What?
Chloe: Look.
Lois: Right. No wonder Clark's been avoiding me. I am losing touch with fantasy without even realizing it.
Chloe: The last thing Clark feels when he thinks about you is boredom.
Lois: Maybe I'm doing this to myself. You know, maybe it's a deep-rooted fear of intimacy. Maybe I'm not letting loose because every time I do, things fall apart. Maybe my therapist was right, you know, she said I used to have these fantasies about Clark, and now not so much as a dirty limerick --
Chloe:  Lois, maybe you just need to calm down and focus on your work.
[ Cellphone beeps ]
4CBB0A22.JPGChloe: Oh, sorry.

Lois: You're right. And maybe you should take advantage of being immersed in your element. Get your hands off of the digital world and on to some hunky human fantasy for a change. Have a little fun. One of us should.
Chloe: All right.
Lois: Good. Now, I have to go make a phone call. Promise me you're gonna kick the Crackberry to the curb.
Chloe: I promise.

Lois: Okay.

[ Thud ]
Boy: I can't believe I'm doing this! Oh! "With angels' might!" [ Sighs ] Warrior Angel was really just a kid? Uh-oh.
[ Explosions ]
[ Creaking ]
[ Applause ]
Superhero: Are you okay?

[ Cellphone rings ]
Clark: Lois.
Lois: Clark, where are you?
Clark: Look, I'm sorry. I'm late. But, um...I guess I got caught up with some...chores, but I'm in the truck, on the way there now.
Lois: Oh, good. Can you grab something from my place while you're at it? Check in the closet.
Clark: Sure. Like you said, I'm already late, so...
Lois: I'm cashing in a rain check. You cannot renege on a rain check.
Clark: Lois, can I rain check on your rain check?
Lois: No. You have been cashing in so many rain checks lately that I am soaking wet with disappointment.
Clark: [ Grunts ] Luckily, I'm driving by the town right now, Lois. What do you need?
[ Air whooshes ]
Lois: What was that whooshing sound?
Clark: Nothing. I just had the truck window open. Okay. This is what I got -- some red leather thing.
Lois: Nope.
Clark: Salute the flag?
Lois: Less gabbin', more grabbin'.
Clark: French maid outfit?
Lois: Need-to-know basis.
Clark: There's a garment bag.
Lois: Finally. There you go. Now, that wasn't so hard, was it?
Clark: Yeah, piece of cake.
Lois: You're my hero.
[ Air whooshes ]

Chloe: You know, after that heroic hit-and-run, it would be hard for even the most distressed damsel not to take offense.
Superhero: Oh. What would a hero say? You're welcome, citizen.
Chloe: Uh, and you left a not-so-subtle trail of bread crumbs on your way over here for the quick change.
4CBB0C0A.JPGSuperhero: I'm sorry. This is all kind of new to me. I-I didn't realize how fast I was. No sonic boom. So, not that fast, I guess.

Chloe: Did you want to...
Superhero: What? Oh. [ Chuckles ] Um... Not very heroic. Good street look, though.
Chloe: Uh-huh. Look, whether you feel like it or not, I know a superhero when I see one. I'm sort of in the business of helping superheroes.
Superhero: I don't think anyone's dad talked about that on career day. Are you for real?
Chloe: Yeah, I'm about as real as it gets. Chloe Sullivan.
Superhero: Stephen Swift.
Chloe: Ow.
Stephen: Sorry.
Chloe: [ Chuckles ] You know, maybe we can talk about how you fit in among the World's Finest over coffee sometime.
Stephen: That sounds... pretty cool.
Chloe: Great.
Stephen: So... did you want to get that coffee now or, uh...?
Chloe: Now? Uh, yeah. Okay. I mean, if -- if you're not doing anything.
Stephen: Yeah. Ladies first.

Lois: Hey! You only get to frown that much when you've been sweating like a pot roast all afternoon.
Clark: Sorry, Lois, I just don't get all this -- the colors, the costumes. It's like everyone has a popcorn image of what being a hero's all about.
Lois: It's called fantasy, Clark -- an escape, something, I don't know, more magical than what we have in our normal lives.4CBB0C68.JPG
Clark: The reality of being a hero, it's about sacrifice, responsibility, and accountability. From what I've heard.
Lois: Did you and Chloe both just swear off whimsy? Was there a memo? Look, a costume isn't just about hiding who you are. It's about seeing the world in a way that you haven't before. What's your dream? Getting swept away in a little fantasy might do you some good every once in a while.
4CBB0CAB.JPGZatanna: Lady's got a point. Without a dash of fantasy, life's just life, and where's the magic in that?
Clark: Zatanna, when did you --
Zatanna: We need to talk, Clark. Alone. I hope it's okay that I borrow him for a bit.
Clark: Lois, Zatanna. Zatanna, Lois.
Lois: [ Sighs ] Not exactly what I meant about being swept away. [ Sighs ]

Clark: I guess I shouldn't be surprised that you decided to follow in your father's footsteps.
Zatanna: A lot can change in a year.
Clark: Somehow I don't think you detoured your road show to play catch-up.
Zatanna: I found out my late, great father got cocky and went on a cursing spree in his roaring 20's. I have been cleaning up his mess, rounding up all of the things that he cursed.
Clark: And you think this stolen comic book was one of his items?
Zatanna: It's not as crazy as it sounds. According to my dad's journal, our thief is bound to be feeling the effects of true power, just like in the comic. I'm normally a solo act, but these things never seem to end well, and I can't think of anyone better  to help me with this than you.

Lois: Hey, buddy, wait your turn!
Clark: Would you excuse me one moment?
Man: Back of the line, buddy!
Clark: Uh, Lois, why are you in the men's bathroom?
Lois: You obviously haven't seen the line for the women's room.
Clark: Lois.
Lois: Just a minute! Stop gawking and prosper.
Clark: That's what was in your bag?
Lois: Well, this Amazon princess won't get nerd-walled again. Though I still don't understand how this qualifies as Amazon, but whatever. So, while I was waiting for you to drag your heels across the county line, a story finally happened right under my nose. Someone stole –

Clark: the rare "Warrior Angel" comic book. I know. My friend Zatanna told me. She's...into antiquities. There's a few leads that she wants me to help her track down.
Lois: I'll bet you do.
Clark: Lois, it's not like that.
4CBB0E67.JPGLois: No. I get it.
Man: You mind if I get a picture with you?
Lois: Take a picture?
[ Camera shutter click]
Lois: We'll cover more ground if we split up anyway, right?

Chloe: And you made sure that my decaf, caramel, java-chip, white-chocolate mocha has three shots in it, right?
Vendor: Yeah.
Chloe: Thanks.
Vendor: And for you, sir?
Stephen: Uh, a glass of milk would be great. I-I mean coffee. Dark, black, please.
Chloe: Everything okay?
Stephen: Yeah. It's just strong, is all.
Chloe: So, if I'm gonna help you get acclimated, I just need to ask you a few --
Stephen: You really know superheroes?
Chloe: Yeah. Now, let's just focus on --
Stephen: All of them?
Chloe: Most of them, I guess. What?
Stephen: You know actual superheroes and you couldn't sound more bored. That's -- that's amazing is what it is.
Chloe: Well, it's a living.
Stephen: Can you at least tell me which heroes you know? No, wait! Don't! That would compromise their identities. I can't believe I asked that.
Chloe: Let's just focus on what makes Stephen Swift so super. So, were you exposed to meteor rock? Or maybe you were actually born this way. That would make you meta-human. Or maybe you're from space. That last one was a joke. Kind of. Oh, god. You're not actually from space, are you?
Stephen: No. Just -- sorry. I'm an orphan, and I got sent to Metropolis to live with my aunt when I was... little... and then a couple weeks ago, I got caught in a -- in a chemical fire, and, well, here we are. It's common to the archetype.
Chloe: Yeah. I thought I was the expert.
[ Indistinct conversations ]
Boy: Give it back! Come on! I need that to get home!
Bully: And who’s gonna stop me?
Stephen: Excuse me, Ms. Sullivan.
Boy: [ Grunts ] Aah! Stop it!
Stephen: You heard the man! Leave him be! What you're doing to this kid here isn't right and it isn't fair, and he shouldn't let you get away with it, not ever!
Bully: Mind your own business!
[ Air whooshes ]
Stephen: I'll give you something to laugh about.
[ Whimpering ]
[ Creaking ]
Stephen: Apologize!
Bully: Okay! Okay! I'm sorry! I'll give it back! Just put me down! Aah!
Stephen: Everybody...home, now!
Bully 2: Come on! Aah!4CBB0F30.JPG
Boy: Thanks, mister!
[ Air whooshes ]
Stephen: Sorry. I just had to... save the day. So, what’s next?

Zatanna: Sorry my locator spell wasn't more accurate. Like I said, I need all the help I can get. He should be...close?
Clark: I guess you can't expect magic to be an exact science.
Zatanna: [ Chuckles ] Was that a clever play on words? Wonderful wit and sparkling theatrics. Mr. Blur's really upped his game.
Clark: Found it.
Zatanna: I always knew you were packing some heavy artillery under that tie, but...seeing through walls -- now, that's a showstopper.
Clark: All in a day's work, I guess.
Zatanna: Wait. With powers like yours, how can you possibly say "all in a day's work"?
Clark: I don't really think about it. Just being like this is almost like breathing now.

Zatanna: And with a gift like that comes responsibilities.
Clark: Exactly. I've spent so much time trying to do what's right that I guess I haven't had any time for anything but reality. Now, these people out here with their capes, I don't know -- they just don't get it. That...
4CBB0FA1.JPGZatanna: Right there with you. Magic, fantasy -- it's all in a day's work. Day in, day out.  What I create as everyone else’s fantasies have become so...normal. I suppose even the illusionist can become disillusioned. But, hey, at least you have that fiery space trooper to stargaze with at the end of the day.
Clark: Yeah. Well...based on my last relationship, I'm afraid I'm keeping Lois at arm's length.
Zatanna: You're afraid that if you let that spark ignite, you're gonna get burned again.
Clark: Right now, everything's under control.
Zatanna: Fantasy isn't about being in control, and fire...doesn't always have to burn, you know. Maybe what you need is a tiny moment of true fantasy to remind you what sparks are all about. Dumet-tes.
Clark: I'm good, thanks.
Zatanna: No. No, you're not. Sparks lead to flames, and fire is what keeps us alive. Now...4CBB0FF0.JPG
[ Speaks magic spell]
Clark: I can't do this.
Zatanna: [ Chuckles ] That's a shame. I think we found a mouth more magical than mine.

[ Elevator bell dings ]
Oliver: See you later.

Lois: Thank you.

Oliver: Hey.

Clark: Oliver, what's up?
Oliver: Me? Just, uh, owed Lois some Sharks tickets. But you, buddy... you may be bulletproof, but you might want to duck and cover in there. Good luck.
Lois: Hey. So, your friend Zatanna, what was she dressed up as, anyway?
Clark: That's just how she dresses some--
Lois: Of course it is.
Clark: Lois, you know, you don't have anything to worry about with Zatanna.
Lois: Of course I don't. Want to know why? Jealous women worry. Me? Not jealous, not even a little. See, I know that I have nothing to worry about, because Clark Kent, he is the most honest man that I know. So, if anything were to happen between...the farm boy and Lady Fishnets, Lois Lane would be the first to know about it, not the last, right?  Well, you can tell your supervisor that I find it highly ironic that I can't find anyone worth talking to in missing persons.
Clark: [ Chuckles ] When did we drift from missing comic to missing persons?
Lois: We course-corrected when our thief's aunt filed a report.4CBBA74E.JPG
Clark: Aunt? How old's our thief?
Lois: Meet Alec Abrams, our preteen pre-convict. He's been A.W.O.L. ever since he stole the book, not that I can blame him. It's worth thousands and thousands of dollars. The cops are still looking for him.

Clark: The police are the least of his worries. Lois, we need to find him as soon as we can.
4CBBA797.JPGLois: Don't think I haven't been trying. His I.D. was flagged in The Planet database as a potential story. He kept sending letters to the post office addressed to "The Blur."

Clark: “Your world is so much better than mine. I wish I could be a hero  so I wouldn't get bullied at school. I wish I could be a hero like you so I could have saved my parents. I used to think heroes weren't real until you showed up."

Lois: Looks like our little juvy is in desperate need for a big brother.
Clark: He's just looking for someone to understand what he's going through.

Stephen: [ Grunts ] I don't get why you didn't want to come up here. This place is awesome. It's way cooler than my room. I- I mean my pad.
Chloe: You know, I must have gotten my signals mixed. I certainly didn't think this is what you meant when you said you wanted to come upstairs.
Stephen: Why do you keep doing that?
Chloe: Doing what?
Stephen: You keep trying not to smile, like, the whole night. We're having fun, right?
Chloe: Uh, sure... I guess.
Stephen: You guess? Come on! Get up here!
Chloe: No. I've never even touched Lois' Xbox. I would look ridiculous.
Stephen: That's the whole point! Maybe you need to look ridiculous. When's the last time you had any fun?
Chloe: I have lots of fun.

Stephen: Just tell me when, then you can keep sitting there, watching me have all the fun you're not having.
Chloe: All right, fine. Look, if I get up, do you promise to answer all my questions?4CBBA7D9.JPG
Stephen: Cross my heart.
Chloe: [ Chuckles ] Ooh, geez. All right. A deal's deal. Powers -- what's under the hood?
Stephen: Oh, you know, your standard superspeed, enhanced strength, augmented hearing. I like to call it Angel hearing. But I think that's it.
Chloe: [ Chuckles ] How about flight?
Stephen: What? Why would you think I could -- holy crap. I can fly? Holy crap! I can fly!  Oh! Come on. We have to give this a whirl.
Chloe: What happens if I fall?
Stephen: Don't worry. I'll catch you.

Zatanna: So, you got caught up in the moment.
Clark: Under magical duress.
[ Air whooshes ]
Zatanna: I was just trying to give you some perspective, Clark. Even though we live lives that everyone else thinks are fantastic, doesn't mean we don’t get to take a break from the real world every now and then.
Clark: We don't get to take breaks.
Zatanna: Which is why us Superfriends got stick together. I think I have a spell for that.
Chloe: Am I interrupting something?
Clark: No.
Zatanna: Yes. Well, you certainly seem to be in good spirits.
Chloe: Yeah, well, I had a really good night for the first time in a while... which is more than I can say for the two of you.
Clark: The company that published the "Warrior Angel" comic book, they stole the idea from a friend of Zatanna's father.
Zatanna: In order to exact some old-world retribution, my father put a curse on the original comic, hoping to teach the publisher a lesson.

Clark: But the publisher never opened the comic book, and neither did anyone else -- not until yesterday.
Chloe: Stephen Swift? There isn't anything wrong with having another hero on the street, right?4CBBA895.JPG
Clark: There is when he's just a kid and according to Zatanna's research...

Zatanna: … the curse should have turned Alec into a full-grown hero.
Chloe: Oh, my god. He is just a boy.
Clark: Chloe, if we can figure out what he looks like as an adult, we can use Watchtower to track him down.

Zatanna: And then I can slap him with a counter curse and we'll have him home by breakfast.

Clark: Chloe?
Chloe: I'm fine. I just have a few things I need to look in to. I let you know if I find anything.
4CBBA8E3.JPGZatanna: Remember when you said magic wasn't an exact science? Well, there's a catch, too, and my dad really outdid himself on this one. There's a monster at the end of the book.

Clark: Not surprised your dad's friend had trouble selling this.This isn't the origins of a superhero. It's the birth of a villain. In the original story, Warrior Angel becomes Devilicus.

Zatanna: And the moment our hero feels the slightest bit betrayed...

Clark: ...he becomes a monster.

[ Air whooshes ]
Stephen: Hey! I got a bunch of new games I think you might like. Or maybe we could order some pizza or -- what's wrong?
Chloe: I know your real secret. I know that you stole a cursed comic book and that's how you got your powers, and I know you're a lot younger than you look, Alec.
Alec: It -- it was -- it was just an accident. I had to look inside, and now I'm finally a hero, and I won't go back.
Chloe: Look, my friend Zatanna can reverse this curse, okay? I just wanted to get to you first so you wouldn't freak out. We're gonna get you back to normal.
Alec: Normal? Normal means being whaled on at school every day. Normal means not having the power to defend myself. Do you have any idea how much my actual life sucked? This is everything I ever wanted! No one can ever hurt me again!
Chloe: But this isn't real, Alec. Look, you're gonna find a way to get through this, okay? That's what being a kid is all about. Now, you just calm down.
Alec: My name is not Alec. This is who I am now, and I won't go back. You can't make me. No one can. I have a feeling no one's gonna push me around ever again.

Zatanna: Oh, I think we're a little late to the party. Can't find my guest of honor yet.
Clark: Well, the computer's doing a face-recognition search based on the age progression from Alec's photo. Abracadabra. Chloe. Why didn't she say something?
4CBBAA7A.JPGZatanna: If you found out your hero was really a 12-year-old, how would you have reacted?
Clark: If I were Chloe, I'd try to fix it myself.
Chloe: Wait! No! Let me go! Put me down!
Clark: Please tell me your counter curse is ready to go.
Zatanna: As ready as it's gonna be. Bring our girl home.

[ Air whooshes ]

Alec: Tell me where your friend is so I can stop her. I don't want to hurt you, Chloe, but I will if I need to.
Chloe: Think this through. You want to be a hero, right? This isn't something a hero would do.
Alec: Lethal enforcers are way more interesting. They were big in the '90s.
Chloe: You see, that's Alec talking. You're still in there. Think about your parents, Alec. You think that they would want their little boy --
Alec: You don't know anything about my parents, and you don't know anything about me!

Chloe: You all right?
Alec: It was just an accident …
Clark: Everything's gonna be okay.

Alec: How's Chloe?
Clark: She's been better.
Alec: I'm sorry. I don't know what happened. I've never felt like a -- like a --
Clark: Like a bully before?
Alec: Yeah.
Clark: No one starts out wanting to be the bad guy. Life can be pretty hard on you sometimes, huh? You know, the test of a true hero is not letting the sadness and the loneliness take over.

Alec: Especially when you have superpowers.
Clark: Especially. Just because you can do something, doesn't mean you should.
Alec: That sounds hard.

Clark: It is.
Alec: So, uh, why do you do it?
Clark: I do it because I want to help people... like you. Not because I have to, but because I choose to.
Alec: What do I do now?

Clark: You...should go home and be a kid, and remember the next time you run into a bully that there is some goodness in there.

Alec: 'Cause everyone's worth saving.  4CBBABFA.JPG

Clark: And a hero's work is never done.
Alec: Before I go, I want to give you something. I wrote this when you were still red and blue, and I didn't really know what you looked like then, so, uh... I like the "S" better.
Clark: I do, too.

Aunt: Oh, thank God!

Zatanna: I could swear there's a twinkle of magic in your eyes... or is it just pride in a job well done?
Clark: I think I always gain a bit of perspective when you blow through town.
Zatanna: Careful. A girl might just start to crush on you. Are you sure we can't keep this team-up rolling? I mean, you've saved me more than once now, and I'd love to return the favor.
Clark: As flattered as I am... I think I'm interested in finding my fantasy somewhere else.
Zatanna: It must be love. Make sure she knows just how lucky she is, Clark.

Lois: Hey. I don't know how many wands she had to wave, but your lady magician managed to get the charges dropped against Alec.
Clark: Well, it helps that she knew the family of the original author. Listen, about Zatanna, Lois, I --  let me preface this by saying that she is just a friend …
4CBBAC7C.JPGLois: Spit it out, Clark.
Clark: [ Sighs ] When we were tracking down a lead for the comic, which was the truth and totally still is the truth, she and I got to talking about the fact that she was really stressed out about being on the road for so long, and I guess I got caught up in my own stuff so much that I didn't realize she'd gotten so close to me. She kissed me, but it's not what I meant to happen. Honest.
Lois: I was wondering how long it would take you to fess up. Clark, for a guy without a single poker face, you've got like a million tells and you wouldn't look me in the eye and you smelled like a magazine insert.
Clark: Well, let me assure you that this will never happen again. Lois, it's just this whole thing with us is -- it's new to me right now.
Lois: Yeah? It's new for me, too. Do you think that I like... being insecure? I-I don't. I just have to get used to the reality that I'm not the only gal that thinks you're fantastic.
Clark: Well, this isn't the reaction I expected.
Lois: [ Chuckles ] Expect the unexpected. That look on your face -- remember how that feels the next time one of your sexy lady friends invades your personal space.
Clark: I'm gonna finish my apology now. At the end of the con every year, there's a, um, costume ball.4CBBACC5.JPG
Lois: You hate costumes.
Clark: Yes. But I was rethinking what I said about not understanding... fantasy and, uh... you asked me what my dream was, and it's this... with you, Lois.
Lois: Now, that, my friend... is an apology. I get to pick out your costume.

Chloe: Slow night?

Oliver: Figured I'd squeeze in some target practice... and a single malt.
Chloe: Did you bring enough for the rest of the class?
Oliver: Help yourself, professor. Running a little light on allegory tonight. Bumpy day?
Chloe: Not the smoothest. Someone asked me when the last time I had a good time was, and I didn't have an answer.
4CBBAD3C.JPGOliver: I don't think anyone can fault you for being on edge, Chloe. Well, if anyone can relate, it's me. I get it.
Chloe: [ Chuckles ] Yeah, you can.

Oliver: You know... sometimes you got to take your fun where you can get it. And sometimes... it's right in front of your face. You just have to want to see it. Come on.
Chloe: How do I know when to let go?
Oliver: It's all about your heart. Just listen, right there in between the beats. That's when you let go.

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Updated 12/30/14 


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