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Smallville Transcripts


First aired October 13th, 2006

picture of Oliver Queen from "Wither"

Provided by Suzanne
Proofread by Jeff


[[ Radio tuning ] ]

Chloe: What are we doing here?

Jimmy: Well, I don't know exactly. I got this hot tip that there's something weird going on up here. I thought it might be a good story.

Chloe: And by weird you mean two people at make-out point not making out?

Jimmy: You're right. You know what? We're undercover. We should probably be a little more convincing.


Chloe: Are you putting the move on me?

Jimmy: No, no. C'mon... Do you want me to?

Chloe: Okay, look, I know we planted our flag on the summit of intimate territory back when we were interns, but...

Jimmy: I thought it was... I mean, wasn't it?

Chloe: No, it definitely was.

Jimmy: Okay, me, too. R-really. I mean, really, really.

Chloe: Definitely. And it's not like I wouldn't mind exploring that territory day. But I just thought maybe this time we could take it a little slower?


Jimmy: Oh, I'm slow. [ Sighs ] Slow is great. You'll barely see me move.

Young Man: [ Laughs ] Let's go for a swim.

Young Woman: I didn't bring my bathing suit.


Young Man: Neither did I.

Young Woman: I'll race you to the lake.

Young Woman: Aah!

[[ Branches crash ] ]

Chloe: What was that? That came from the path. Come on.

Jimmy: Oh, yeah we should definitely go check that out in the really dark woods.

Chloe: Let's go.

Jimmy: [ Sighs ]

Jimmy: Why would anyone want to wander around in the woods?

Chloe: They were probably headed for the lake.

Jimmy: This is a really bad idea. You know, maybe we should call someone.

Chloe: Hello! Is anyone there?!

Jimmy: No, I was thinking more like authority figures who carry weapons, you know?

Chloe: Thanks. Looks like the naked trail ends here.

Jimmy: Is that...

Chloe: Oh, my God.


Clark: Is that the invitation for the ball?

Martha: Mm-hmm. I just RSVP'd. I hope Lex gets a good turnout.

Clark: I can't imagine anyone from Metropolis's "who's who" list not showing up to help the families affected by Dark Thursday.

Martha: You know, I, uh -- I responded for two.


Clark: Thanks, mom, but costumes really aren't my thing. Besides, it's not really the place for a reunion, you know?

Martha: [ Sighs ] How do you feel about the two of them together?

Clark: I don't know. It's like they're different people.

Martha: We all have our own ways of moving on, whether it's about growing up or just surviving.

Clark: Mom, I've lost Lana, Dad, Jor-El. You don't see me as a different person.

Martha: Well, in a lot of ways I do, Clark. All those things have shaped the person you are now... and the person you'll become.


Lex: I already know what the device isn't, Dr. Groll. Your job is to tell me what it is. I want a report.

Lana: What's all this?

Monica: My God, your complexion is even more radiant than in the magazines.

Lex: This is Monica. She's helping us pick out the costumes for the charity ball. She can help you put something together.

Lana: Um, well, thank you for coming, but I think I can dress myself.


Lex: Oh, come on, Lana. I thought you'd have fun becoming anyone you wanted.

Lana: Well, I can tell you what I'm not... the next "Lex girl."

Lex: Monica, will you excuse us? You saw this morning's paper. Look, Lana, I was raised in front of the cameras. I know it can be hurtful. When I was 13, a reporter caught me between classes at boarding school. He asked me how I felt about my mother's death. A mic shoved in my face in front of classmates I couldn't stand -- that's how I found out she died. The press will tear us apart if we let them.

Lana: Well, they're right about the revolving door of women you've had.

Lex: Maybe. But I've never asked any of them to move in with me.

Lana: Lex, I know you. You desire what you can't have. So, what happens when you get it?


Lex: I'd be lying if I said I didn't struggle against my nature every day to let myself have this with you.

Lana: And I'm fighting mine to believe you.

Lex: Lana, I've given you time. I've given you space. But you still don't know what you want.

Lana: And you do?

Lex: I want us to stop pretending we're only roommates.


Lana: Lex, I just need to be sure. I always trust people too much.

Lex: No, you trusted Clark too much. Now, you can always come up with excuses why this won't work, but you have to decide. You can either fight with Clark's ghost or you can be with me. I'm done paying for his mistakes.

[[ Knock on door ]]

Chloe: Hey.

Clark: Hey, how goes life living with Lois?

Chloe: Closer to coffee, further from sanity, but, you know, until Metropolis University reopens, I guess -- what is it they say about a gift horse?

Clark: "Stay away from the mouth," which it difficult because Lois uses hers so much.

Chloe: [ Laughs ] Right.

Clark: So, what's going on?

Chloe: Okay, so, I found a body in the woods out at Lone Pine last night. Girl and guy decide to make like the birds and the bees, girl gets her wings cut, guy buzzes off.

Clark: You think he killed her?


Chloe: I seriously doubt some freshly minted pimple popper is physically capable of doing that. I mean, the M.O. wasn't exactly... normal, if you know what I mean.

Clark: What do you mean?

Chloe: [ Sighs ] Impaling people in trees in under five minutes isn't humanly possible.

Clark: Unless the guy was infected with Kryptonite.

Chloe: And that's our only lead, and he's still missing.

Clark: What were you doing at make-out point?

[[ Door opens ] ]

Jimmy: What's up, C.K.?

[[ Knock on door ] ]

[[ Clears throat ] ]

Lois: Hey.

Oliver Queen: Hi.

Lois: Queen Industries. Must have caught a strong headwind. Mrs. Kent's been waiting for this for weeks. Thanks.

Oliver Queen: You're welcome.


Lois: Oh, crap, I'm sorry. Just so you know, with a face like that, you can do a whole lot better than playing errand boy to the rich and arrogant. Here.

Oliver Queen: Thank you very much. What is, uh --

Lois: It's a tip.

Oliver Queen: A tip? Oh-- Okay.

Lois: Seriously -- aim higher.

Oliver Queen: Listen, um --

Martha: I thought I heard the door.

Lois: Yeah, your pledge finally sailed in from Queen Industries.

Martha: Where's the man who came with it?

Lois: The courier? Oh, I gave him his tip and sent him on his merry little way.

[[ Engine turns over ] ]

Martha: Handsome, chiseled features, with a smile that could light up a barn?

Lois: Mrs. Kent, you have a crush on the courier?

Martha: You mean the billionaire CEO who stopped by to talk about his financial support of my platform? No, Lois, I don't. I've never even met him, and now I probably never will.

Lois: That was Oliver Queen.


Chloe: Sorry. They'd already organized a search party, and the police dogs from Grandville will be here in another hour.

Clark: Chloe, where exactly did you find the body?

Chloe: It was just up the road about a quarter mile.

Clark: Ok.

Chloe: Guess I'll meet you there.

Gloria: You're not supposed to be here.

Clark: I'm sorry? I'm -- I'm with the search party. Clark Kent.


Gloria: Gloria, park services. They find anything yet?

Clark: No, nothing. Have you?

Gloria: It's a big forest. Lots of green.

Clark: You must feel isolated out here working all alone. There's no one for miles.

Gloria: No, it's what I love about it. We haven't met before, have we?

Clark: I think I'd remember. So, you searched this whole area all by yourself?

Gloria: Couple of times. I haven't found anything that's not supposed to be here.

Clark: One more search wouldn't hurt. I found him! Go get help!

Chloe: Clark, where are you?

Clark: Over here. He's alive! Ow!

Chloe: Oh, my God. Clark, you're bleeding.

[[ Beeping ] ]

Chloe: Okay, we don't have much time. His mom's in the cafeteria. Wow, this guy's pretty messed up.


Jimmy: Not as bad as his girlfriend in the tree.

Jimmy: Hey, what are these things on his lungs?

Jimmy: Whoa.

Chloe: Beats me.

[[ Camera shutter click ]]

Chloe: Jimmy!

Jimmy: What? Look, we have to get this in the paper. We have to warn people.

Chloe: We don't even know what it is yet.

Clark: She's right. A picture of some weird x-ray isn't exactly page-one material.

Jimmy: Yeah, well, maybe we'd have a better picture if I was with you guys when you found him.

Chloe: Okay, that was my call. You're just so much more at home on the streets of Metropolis. I know the woods freak you out.

Jimmy: No, no, you know what freaks me out? Is my girl traipsing through a forest when something like that can happen.

Chloe: Your girl?


Jimmy: I mean, aren't you?

Clark: Guys, this really isn't the time.

Jimmy: Yeah, you're right, C.K. I got to go take care of something. So, we'll talk later when we're alone?

Chloe: Okay.

Clark: Is he always that fired up?

Chloe: You should see him when he's on his 10th cup of house-drip.

[[ Laughs ] ]

Chloe: How are your hands?

Clark: Healed.

Chloe: Which begs the obvious question, since not even Obi-Wan's lightsaber can ginsu your superdermis -- how did a little vine cut through it?

Clark: I don't know, but I didn't get weak, so it's not Kryptonite.


Chloe: Well, I sent a cutting of the vine to my botany professor at Met. U. If it's not meteor rock, what else could it be?

Clark: You know, Lone Pine Ridge goes right up against the Luthor estate. There's a greenhouse that runs right near the property line. That'd be a good place to start.

Chloe: Okay, call me the advocate of the devil, Clark, but don't you think that pointing the pitchfork at Lex is a little bit of a stretch?

Clark: He had his hands on the Kryptonian ship. He was possessed by Zod. He nearly destroyed this planet. If the horns fit --

Chloe: Okay, fine. I'm just saying you might want to check your personals at the door.

Clark: Seeds.

Lex: You've always had an eye for beauty. Its latin name, formositas falsus. "Beauty that belies a dark nature."

Clark: So, even your plants have hidden agendas.


Lex: Well, I guess it all comes down to survival of the fittest. Doesn't it?

Clark: A strange vine has cropped up over the ridge at Lone Pine. It's attacking people.

Lex: And naturally you came to my little shop of horrors to foil my ingenious plot to repopulate the planet with vegetation. Sorry, Clark. I'm all out of evil. Lana must be a calming influence on me.

Clark: She's never gonna fit in your world, Lex.

Lex: Unlike you, I'm willing to do whatever it takes so she does.

Clark: You can keep fooling yourself that you've changed, but the closer you get to Lana, the closer she is to finding out who you really are.

Lex: The days of you showing up unannounced in my home are over. You're not welcome here. You found your way in, you can find your way out.

Chloe: Hey.

Lana: Hi. Um, it was such a rush to evacuate the dorms, I guess I took a few of your things.

Chloe: Thanks. Oh, wow, I was really missing this, uh... half-chewed eraser... and your library book, which is two weeks overdue. Lana.


Lana: I don't know why, but I felt like I needed an excuse to come and talk with you.

Chloe: Excuse accepted. Let's go upstairs.

Lana: It feels like a lifetime since I lived here.

Chloe: Yeah, well, a sprawling 17th-century mansion isn't a bad upgrade.

Lana: Well, actually, it's getting kind of crowded in there.

[[ Laughs ]]

Chloe: Water?

Lana: Please. Lex seems to think that I'm dragging Clark's ghost around with me.

Chloe: And he didn't sign up for a threesome?

Lana: Chloe, I have this terrible feeling. I feel like if I do this with Lex, I'm going to lose my identity.

Chloe: Well, Lana, if you don't trust him now, that dynamic is not gonna change.


Lana: It's just I keep blaming my trust issues on everyone else. And the truth is, the person that I don't trust is myself. I keep --[ Laughs ] I haven't always made the right decisions. And when I realize that I have made the wrong ones, I'm too far gone to get myself out.

Chloe: Lana, I don't know if Lex is the right guy for you or not. I mean, he certainly wouldn't be my first choice, but he wouldn't even really be on my list. You can't just sit safely by the water and watch all the happy people splashing around. I mean, eventually, you have to grow some fins and just dive in.

[[ Birds chirping ] ]

[[ Camera shutter clicks ] ]

[[ Rumbling ] ]

Jimmy: Oh, my God, you scared the blank out of me.

Gloria: I thought I was the only one that felt safe out here right now.

Jimmy: No. No, no, no, not safe --compelled.


Gloria: By what?

Jimmy: A girl. And a photo. My hope. Her respect.

Gloria: Well, you have mine.

Jimmy: [ Laughs ] Since a girl made me drop a log. Look, is there any chance you've seen this weird vine that's fond of people?

Gloria: Yeah, I think I can help you find what you're looking for.

Jimmy: Uh, I don't know. It's, um... I don't know, but... well, you know, I already got a girl, so --

Gloria: I don't want to be your girl.

Jimmy: Well then what are you doing?

Gloria: I just want to wrap myself around you.

Jimmy: Aah!


Assistant: Miss, you cannot go in there. I'm sorry, Mr. Queen. This woman does not have an appointment.

Oliver Queen: It's okay. She's expected.

[[ Grunting ] ]

Lois: I guess I really underestimated the mental powers of yoga.

Oliver Queen: Well, I find the focus benefits my work.

Lois: And, apparently, your premonitions.

Oliver Queen: After your lamentable blunder, it was either this or a good firing from your boss, right? Although, I must say, I didn't picture the fruit basket.

Lois: Yes, Mr. Queen, I surmise that you're very busy with all your bendy stuff, so I'll be really short --

Oliver Queen: Peanuts. I'm allergic.

Lois: I'll try and remember that. Look, Martha Kent is a sterling Senator, and, um, I would be devastated if... childhood bobbing trauma?


Oliver Queen: Are you hungry? No? Okay.

Lois: Look, I realize that I was very rude the other day, and I'm just trying to apologize. And if you hold this against Martha Kent, it will be you who is missing out on the opportunity of doing good work with a great woman. Right. Well, I guess I was prematurely accurate in my opinion of you.

Oliver Queen: Miss Lane? If you want my full and undivided attention, why don't you come with me to Lex Luthor's ball?

Lois: While I'm sure downsizing me for an entire evening would make great sport, I think I'll pass.

Oliver Queen: If Martha Kent's as amazing as you say she is, it's gonna take a lot more than a few minutes of groveling to convince me that she's worthy of my support.


Lois: [ Sighs ] I don't have a costume.

Oliver Queen: You don't have a costume. Hmm.

Lois: Right. The telepathy.

Oliver Queen: Here you go.

Lois: Um...okay. Even in my size. Mr. Queen, have you been rummaging through my drawers?

Oliver Queen: I have a good eye for sizing people up.

Chloe: So, you were right. The pods inside his stomach are seeds. He's going into surgery in an hour.

Clark: Anything from your professor friend?

Chloe: He was unable to identify the species, but he could break down the DNA, and it's foreign... to the planet Earth, which explains why it could cut you.


Clark: It's alien? How did it get here?

Chloe: I don't know, but while it can't gestate in our soil, the chemistry of the human body creates a perfect potting mix.

[[ Screaming ] ]

Nurse: Find his mother! I'm issuing a code red.

Chloe: Oh, my god.

Clark: We need to stop it.

Chloe: Not it, Clark -- her. The plant's gynoecious --it has a sex -- female.

Clark: It needed a male to reproduce, which is why the girlfriend was killed so quickly.

Woman: Coming through. Park ranger up at Lone Pine. Hunter found her this morning.

Clark: Excuse me, I think I can identify her. I'm sorry, there's been a mistake. That's not the park ranger.


Medical Technician: Selena Adams, 28, went missing last week. Only female ranger in the county.

Clark: Gloria.

Clark: Gloria!

Gloria: I was hoping we'd meet again.

Clark: What are you?

Gloria: I'm just a girl that loves nature.

Clark: You're not human. You're not even from this planet.

Gloria: No. But I think I'm gonna like it here.

Clark: Wherever you're from, go back -- now!

Gloria: I can't. My world is gone. It was paradise. It was lush and green and full of life. But towers of steel replaced the forests, upsetting the balance of nature. So I tried to correct it.

Clark: At the cost of how many lives?

Gloria: They didn't understand me, either. They branded me a criminal. They imprisoned me in a desolate wasteland where the suns never set and nothing ever grows.

Clark: The Phantom Zone.

Gloria: I knew I'd seen you before. You're the Kryptonian that opened the gateway.

Clark: How do you know that?

Gloria: Because I was there. The savages were attacking a girl.

Clark: Raya.


Gloria: And you touched the gateway, and it all went white. Looks like I'm not the only one that doesn't belong.

Clark: You could learn to adapt like I did.

Gloria: What do you think I'm doing? There's a party nearby full of eligible suitors waiting for me to spread my beauty. [ Sniffs ] Can you smell them?

Clark: You have to stop!

Gloria: Says who? [ Whip cracks ] I can't change my nature, and no one else will ever make me again.


Lead Singer: Welcome to the First Annual Benefit Ball for the victims of Dark Thursday. On behalf of Lex Luthor, we'd like to thank everybody for reaching into your pockets and supporting the families affected by this disaster. You guys rock.

[[ Piano plays ] ]

[[ Camera shutter clicks ] ]

Lex: I'm glad you came.

Lana: So am I.

Lex: I thought I might have frightened you off.

Lana: You'll have to come up with better scare tactics.

Lois: So, is this part of your sizing me up?

Oliver Queen: Well, Miss Lane, honestly, that was a miscalculation.

Lois: Well, that would be my polite comment on your choice of legwear for this evening.

Oliver Queen: You have a quick tongue. I find that very attractive.

Lois: Well, keep it in your quiver, jolly green bandit. So, is your fortune the do-it-yourself, steal-from-the-rich kind, or is it silver-plattered like our host's?

Oliver Queen: It belonged to my parents, and I, uh -- I inherited it when they died.

Lois: Well, I wasn't going to give it to you, but the tights -- you're totally pulling it off.


Lex: You should see him in a tutu.

Oliver Queen: Lex Luthor... with a girl that he doesn't have to inflate.

Lex: [ Laughs ] Lana Lang, Oliver Queen. We went to boarding school together.

Oliver Queen: Talked to any of the old gang lately?

Lex: Enjoy the party.

Oliver Queen: I always do.

Lana: If that's a friend, I'd hate to see an enemy.

Lois: Senator Kent! Hi, I've been looking all over for you. I would like you to meet Oliver Queen.

Martha: Mr. Queen, it's nice to finally meet you.

Oliver Queen: The pleasure's all mine. So, Lois has been telling me about your policy points. We should get together and talk about how I can help you.

Martha: I'm looking forward to that. Thank you.

Oliver Queen: Thank Lois. She can be very persuasive.


Chloe: Clark! Clark, I can't find you on my own! You have to help me! Where are you?! Clark!

Clark: [ Strained ] Chloe. Chloe.

Chloe: Oh, my God. Clark.

[[ Electricity crackles ] ]

Chloe: Come on, Clark. Come back. This girl can't lose you twice in one month.

Clark: [ Groaning ]

Chloe: Are you okay?

Clark: I will be in a second. How'd you kill it?

Chloe: Biology 101 -- electricity denatures enzymes.

Clark: We have to help jimmy.

Chloe: Jimmy?

Clark: He's over there, go find him. Gloria is headed to the mansion.

Chloe: Go. I'll get help for Jimmy. Go!


Man: So, Tarzan and park rangers both love the wild.

Gloria: And swinging on vines.

Clark: Ride's over!

[[ Laughs ]]

Man: Who the hell are you?

Clark: The gardener. Get out!

Gloria: Kryptonians -- always so hard and cold.

Clark: You can't go home. I can't let you stay. What are we gonna do?

Gloria: We'll have to let nature decide. You saved me from the Phantom Zone, Clark. I'm sorry it has to be this way.

[[ Electricity crackles ] ]

Chloe: There are seed pods inside him that can only be killed with electricity.

Medical Technician: You're insane.


Chloe: No, please, listen to me. You have to defibrillate him or he will die.

Medical Technician: The guy is not in cardiac arrest. We will not defib. Now back off.

[[ Indistinct radio chatter ] ]

[[ Engine turns over ] ]

[[ Equipment powering up ] ]

Medical Technician: Hey, what are you doing?

Chloe: Back off! They're hot. Please don't let me kill him.

[[ Electricity crackles ] ]

Jimmy: Did you just paddle me?

Chloe: [ Chuckle ] Yeah.

Oliver Queen: I have enjoyed courting you against your will this evening.

Lois: Hmm, only because I let you.

Oliver Queen: I'd like to kiss you now.


Lois: Um, you know, the lady requires a show of skill before awarding you with her favor.

Oliver Queen: Which is actually where I was going with the kiss.

Lois: [ Laughs ] Let's make it interesting. Hit that can with your arrow... and I'm yours.

Oliver Queen: You're that easy, huh?

Lois: It's that hard.

Oliver Queen: I'm gonna go for it.

Lois: All right.

Oliver Queen: Here goes nothing.

Lois: Better luck next time, hood.

Lex: This is definitely a night of firsts.

Lana: How's that?

Lex: Well, it's the first time I've ever danced in my extremely pretentious fountain.


[[ Laughs ] ]

Lex: And it's the first time I've ever felt this... satisfied.

Lana: I was half-expecting the word "happy" to come out of your mouth.

Lex: Happiness is just a feeling of euphoria. It's your brain chemistry going into overdrive. That's why so many relationships fail when the honeymoon ends and reality sets in.

Lana: Wow, have you always been such a romantic?

[[ Laughs ] ]

Lex: If you were any other woman, I'd be saying everything you expect to hear right now, but you're not, okay? You not like anyone else.

Lana: Well, careful, because I am dangerously close to being satisfied.


Lex: Then my evil plan is working. So, what made you change your mind about gracing my arm tonight?

Lana: Life --wanting to live it.

Lex: What are you doing?

[ Up in the loft, Clark is sitting alone, rhythmically throwing a baseball against a wall, as the episode comes to an end. ]

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Updated 10/23/06  


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