[Clark and Chloe walk into the Talon, which has been completely redecorated for a huge Valentine's Day party.]
Clark: Chloe, what the heck is this? I thought we were coming in here to get a coffee. How could you do this to me?
Chloe: I didn't know. I swear. I'm sorry, Clark. No -- hey. You're not gonna spend the rest of your life hiding in the barn, either. Let's go.
Clark: What is it you always say about Valentine's Day? Oh, yeah. Our annual sneak peek at hell. That must have been before cupid struck.
Chloe: Don't you think after being trapped in a front seat to the Clark/Lana operetta I deserve a good v-day?
Clark: You're the only person who can make me feel guilty, relieved, and a little sad all in one sentence.
Chloe: It's a gift. Don't worry, Clark. Your achy-breaky heart will go away, too, one of these days.
Clark: Can you put that in writing?
Chloe: Just give the Lana thing a little more time. You never know when the next love of your life is right around the corner.
[As she says this, Lois enters - from just around the corner - with Jimmy in tow.]
Lois: Whoa... Is it really wrong that I want these chubby cherubs to burst into flames?
Jimmy: The way I see it, Valentine's day is like finding out how babies are born.
Jimmy: Just stay with me. It seems so weird and confusing, but when that bomb finally hits, it's like everything clicks into place. It all seems to make sense. [ Chuckling] Chloe: What's wrong with you?
Chloe: What's wrong with you?
[Jimmy sneaks up on Chloe and turns her right into a kiss.]
Chloe: Jimmy... [ Chloe is puzzled to see Lois standing there ] and Lois.
Clark: Welcome to the love fest.
Lois: Yeah, and me without my uzi.
[Chloe pulls Jimmy aside ] ]
Chloe: Excuse us for just one second. What are you doing? We were supposed to take Clark out tonight, remember?
Jimmy: Yeah, well, Lois was all alone, and... then it hit me. Lois and Clark.
Chloe: Lois and Clark?
Jimmy: You gotta admit, they got chemistry.
Chloe: Yeah, so do nitroglycerin and peroxide, and I don't suggest putting them together. Come on.
[Chloe and Jimmy step out, leaving Clark and Lois together, alone. Lois and Clark eye each other warily.]
Lois: Please tell me we weren't just set up.
Clark: Looks like it.
Lois: Us. That's like hot fudge and halibut.
Clark: I take it I'm the halibut.
Clark: Well, I've had my fill of fat babies with arrows. Knock yourself out, Lois.
[Clark leaves Lois' side, heading for the exit. Just behind Lois, there is a booth setup with a woman selling various aphrodesiacs. She notices Lois' dour attitude and gets Lois' attention.]
Star: Little down on love?
Lois: After my breakup, cupid could use me for target practice, and I still wouldn't feel anything.
Star: Then maybe you need a little euphoria elixir or romance remedy. Just a nudge in order to move on.
Lois: Move on? [ Scoffs ] Honey, you're talking to somebody who's still waiting for acid-wash to come back in style.
Star: Try this. It's made with jasmine and a mixture of aphrodisiac oils. I get the brilliant hue from red meteor rocks.
Lois: This is gonna make me fall in love with someone new?
Star: The first man you set eyes on.
Lois: Hmm... who knows? Maybe this color will look good on me, huh?
[As Lois puts the lipstick on, her lips take on an unnaturally red sheen, almost glowing. As she does, she sees Clark walk by behind her, in the mirror she's using and she's immediately taken with him.]
Lois: Clark. [ Sighs ]
Martha: Yes, I'm calling to RSVP for the engagement party. Martha kent. Thank you. [ She turns to see Clark enter ] Hi! How was the Valentine's party?
Clark: I lived to see another day.
Clark: Mom, really, if it's more love advice, I got my quota last night, trust me, but thank you.
[There is a knock at the front door and when Martha answers it, Lois is standing there in a very short miniskirt, looking very sexy.]
Martha: Lois. [ Martha can't hide her surprise at Lois' new look ]
Lois: Is Clark here?
[Seeing that Lois has come to talk to Clark, Martha can't help but smile.]
Martha: Uh-huh. Yeah. Come in.
Clark: Hey, Lois, listen, I'm sorry that Jimmy pulled you into that last night. I mean, after Oliver and...
[Lois walks into the kitchen, her eyes fixed on Clark. When he looks over at her and meets her gaze, he stops, speechless.]
Lois: Oliver's history. Actually, Mrs. K, can you give us a couple minutes?
Martha: Yeah. Um, I-I'll be upstairs.
[Lois closes the distance to Clark, coming onto him.]
Lois: [ Sighs ] Here we find ourselves -- all alone. [ She takes one of his hands in her own ] Wow. How did I never notice what big, strong hands you have?
Clark: [ Chuckling nervously ] What's going on, Lois?
Lois: Well, you know me. I'm not very good with words, so... [ Lois pulls out a CD case, with a hand-drawn cover showing a huge, white snake wrapped around a large, red heart, with the words "To Clark" on it ] people don't think Whitesnake sings power ballads, but they do.
[Now Clark is thoroughly confused, yet amused.]
Clark: You made me a mix cd.
Lois: [ She smiles broadly ] Yeah. I will kill you if you tell anyone this, but... there is nothing that I love more than slow-dancing with some big, strong arms around me... just like yours, Smallville.
[As she says this, she closes the distance even further, ending up in Clark's arms. Clark, looking for an out, dodges.]
Clark: L-Lois, why -- why don't you go put this on?
Lois: Okay. [ Sighs ]
[Lois goes into the living room to put the CD on and when she does, Clark super-speeds out of the kitchen. When she turns around again, he's gone.]
Lois: I know how you dance, so... just in case -- Clark?
Chloe: Lana. I'm kind of surprised to see you here.
Lana: Yeah, I know that we left things in a weird place.
Chloe: Come in. I'll, uh, take credit for the weirdness, but to be honest, you're the one who did the leaving.
Lana: I was --I was really frustrated. Chloe, I can't afford to lose you, too. Ever since I've been with Lex, I feel like I've lost everyone else in my life.
Chloe: Well, are you sure it's that you lost them, or were you being forced to leave them behind? It seems like you've been walled up in the mansion.
Lana: It's not like I'm in captivity.
Chloe: Right, well, not in so many words, but I know how protective Lex is over the things he values the most.
Lana: Chloe, I know that you're just looking out for me, and you've done your Maid-of-Honor duty and asked the tough questions, but I was hoping that we could just get past this.
Chloe: Okay. Case closed. Did I, uh, did I miss something? Maid of Honor?
Lana: Yeah. I hope that you're not allergic to taffeta. That's actually why I came by. Will you stand up with me?
Chloe: Of course. [ They hug ] Wow! So, uh, does this mean that we just ignore the huge elephant named Clark in the corner?
Lana: Whatever he's hiding, he chose to confide in the people that he trusts the most, and as much as I wish that I was one of those people, I can't hold it against you. I'm not gonna ask you to betray Clark's secret, if you'll stop denying that he has one.
[At this Chloe can only stare at Lana with uncertainty.]
[Chloe walks into the Planet and she sees a large bouquet of flowers on her desk. Smiling, she reads the card: "Thanks for my first unsucky Valentine's Day, Love Jimmy". Clark walks up behind her, startling her. ] ]
Clark: Will this holiday ever end?
Chloe: Sorry to be the culprit of such a felony-sized pda.
Clark: We were supposed to meet 20 minutes ago. Where have you been?
Chloe: I just, uh, got stuck in traffic. I did some digging into our favorite Martian Manhunter, but it's just coming up empty.
Clark: We have another Manhunter to worry about. Lois.
Chloe: Why does that make me picture her wielding an ax at every man in Metropolis?
Clark: She's only after one man. Lois is... into me.
Chloe: She's into you? What, like... [ Clarks pulls out the mix CD Lois made for him and hands it to her ] wow. She really pulled out all the stops.
Clark: She's not herself, all right? It's like she overdosed on Love Potion # 9 or something... [ Chloe is reading the back of the CD and starts to laugh ] and this isn't funny!
Chloe: [ Laughing ] Pretty funny.
Clark: Chloe, we have to find out what happened before she strikes again.
[As he says this, Lois rounds the corner outside the office door.]
Chloe: Too late.
Lois: There you are. I have been searching all over for you. Look what I got. [ Lois pulls back her shirt a bit to reveal a rather large tattoo of a heart with the words "Lois and Clark Forever" emblazoned on it ] Maybe you could get one to match.
Chloe: I-I think you're right about that story. I'm gonna look into it.
[Chloe starts to make her exit and Clark tries to get her to stay but Lois interrupts his pleas.]
Clark: Uh, Chloe --
Lois: Hi, you.
Clark: Hi. Lois. Now, Lois --
Lois: You can pour on the modesty all you want, Smallville. It only makes you that much more adorable.
[Clark takes her hand and retreats with her to a corner of the office, and she pulls him into a secluded copy room.]
Clark: Lois, what happened to you when I left last night?
Lois: I went home... alone. But you know where I wanted to be.
[Lois corners him, finally landing a passionate kiss. When they kiss, her lipstick starts to affect Clark, and his eyes light red with its effect. Clark's immediately drops any protestations and pulls her into an empty office.]
Lois: Nothing screams romance like a dusty newspaper office. Come on. You can do better than this.
Clark: I was planning on it.
[Clark starts to kiss her, very passionately. Too passionately, in fact.]
Lois: Not that I'm complaining, but isn't this a little sudden? I mean, all this time, one kiss, and all of a sudden, you like me? [ Clark starts to kiss her again ] No, I mean it. This is for real, isn't it?
Clark: Oh, yeah, this couldn't be more real.
[Clark goes back to kissing her and after a moment, she stops him again.]
Lois: Wait. Wait. Wait a minute. Wait. I knew I'd kissed you before -- in the alley. [ She looks at him slyly ] You're Green Arrow.
Clark: Hardly --I was just pretending to be so you wouldn't know it was Oliver.
[It all comes together for Lois and she breaks their embrace, looking out the window.]
Lois: Oliver? Oh, my God. All those times he disappeared. [ Scoffs ] What is my deal with emotionally unavailable weekend warriors? [ Clark comes up behind her and circles his arms around her waist ] Thank God I finally found a normal guy.
[Clark is a little insulted at the insinuation that's he's "normal".]
Clark: What do you mean "normal"? Oliver's not even in the same league as me.
Lois: You don't have to be macho just for me. I like the dorky farm-boy thing.
[Clark is getting more insulted, and walks away from her.]
Clark: Dorkier than a hood and a quiver? Just because I don't wear a costume and splash my face all over the papers --
Lois: Clark! So what if your signature move is driving a tractor? I think it's adorable.
[Clark has had enough, and sees an opportunity.]
Clark: You know, Lois, I think that it's time for you to meet the real Clark Kent.
[Lana is walking through the halls of the mansion with people all around setting up for their engagement party. Lex surprises her from behind.]
Lex: I have a surprise for you.
Lana: I thought we said no gifts for the engagement dinner.
Lex: It's not exactly for the dinner.
[He leads her into a room where he has set up a full nursery for the baby.]
Lex: So, I have this dilemma. [ He holds up two different baby blankets ] I can't decide between... stegosaurus or Mr. Duck.
Lana: That's really sweet, Lex, but don't you think it's kind of...
Lex: I know it's kind of early, but the doctor said you're perfectly healthy.
Lana: I just don't know if it's a good idea to have all of this stuff out here. There's a lot of people around. Nobody knows about this pregnancy apart from Clark and Chloe, so --
Lex: Well, what if they did? I was thinking, what if we announced it tonight at the party?
Lana: I-I don't know if that's a great idea. I think that tonight should be about our engagement.
Lex: It sort of feels like you're in denial, like if no one finds out about the baby, it doesn't exist.
Lana: Lex, do you know how many people are looking over my shoulder, second-guessing why I'm marrying you?
Lex: Am I that hard a sell?
Lana: I don't want people assuming that we're getting married because of this baby. I want them to know that I'm with you because I love you.
[Clark and Lois walk out onto the roof of the Daily Planet, later that night.]
Lois: Wow! This is a beautiful detour, but what are we doing up here?
Clark: That's Oliver's balcony over there, isn't it?
Lois: What, that tiny speck under the clock tower?
[He jumps up onto the ledge and looks back at Lois.]
: Clark, this isn't funny. You can come back down now.
[Clark lifts Lois up onto the ledge, her arms around him as she looks over the edge onto the street below.]
Clark: Or you can come up here with me. [ He holds her close ] I'd like to see Oliver do this.
[Clark takes off from the ledge and jumps/flies through the air above Metropolis, landing gracefully on the balcony outside Oliver's apartment.]
Clark: What did you say about a dorky farm boy?
[Clark shoves the door to the apartment open and strides inside. Lois follows behind him, struggling to catch her breathe.]
Lois: Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. I can't wait to see what else you can do.
Clark: Well, I'm fast, but not too fast.
Lois: You're being very bad. You know, the last time I was here, I was with a good friend of yours.
Clark: Obviously he wasn't that good. I better make sure you didn't spell my name wrong.
[He grabs her shirt and rips it open a bit, revealing her tattoo. They start to undress each other and he lifts her onto a small couch, then rips open the rest of her shirt. They start to kiss, but Clark notices an invitation sticking out of Lois' jacket, which is now on the floor, to the Luthor's engagement party. He picks it up and walks across the room.]
Lois: Sounds like a real rager, doesn't it?
Clark: Can't say I'm surprised I wasn't invited.
Lois: I RSVP'd back before Oliver headed for the hills, but now I found a better way to occupy my night.
[She comes across the room to meet him, running her hands up his back.]
Clark: What, and disappoint the future Mrs. Luthor? I don't think so. Besides...it's not a party until someone crashes it.
Chloe: Hey! Thanks for the roses.
[He holds up a Valentine bow tie to his neck. ] ]
Jimmy: Thanks for this.
Chloe: Yeah, I don't know. It just uh -- it kind of seemed very you.
Jimmy: I love it, but it might sit on the bench till my next style renaissance or until... I'm off the blacklist at the Luthor mansion. Aren't you supposed to be leaving for Smallville in negative 2 minutes?
Chloe: Yeah. But I'm gonna have to push the boundaries of fashionably late on this one because I just got a huge lead on whatever love nip Lois rolled in.
Jimmy: You just can't admit that I'm a natural-born cupid, can you?
Chloe: Jimmy, I know that you would love to think that your little nudge actually caused this whole thing, but trust me, Lois would have to be shot out of a cannon to romantically land anywhere in the direction of Clark.
Jimmy: Hmm. Sounds kind of like you're jealous.
[Chloe's look betrays the truth in what Jimmy is getting at. ] ]
Chloe: Of Lois?
Jimmy: No, of anyone getting in between you and Clark. Come on, you spend all your time with him, and then you make up all these excuses why.
[Chloe takes exception to this, getting angry.]
Chloe: You know what, Jimmy? On the list of personality quirks that I have learned to fall in love with, paranoia is definitely at the bottom.
Jimmy: Translated to "back off"?
Jimmy: Got it. [ Jimmy pauses for a moment, but can't let it go at that ] Chloe...
Chloe: [ Angrily ] Pushing it.
Jimmy: Look, if you're really not jealous, then why are you bailing on your best friend's engagement party? Clark's a big boy. How much damage can Lois really do?
[Chloe can see his point, and a different plan springs to mind.]
Chloe: You know, you're right. I can just delegate. I've done that... once. And since I doubt the rose peddler doused Lois, I'm putting all my money on the oil essence lady. So, you can just meet her in an hour. Here's the address.
[Starts to run out of the office, heading off to Smallville. She stops midway to the door and comes back, kissing Jimmy.]
Chloe: Oh. [ Chuckles ] Thanks. You're my guy.
[Jimmy walks into the store owned by the same woman selling love potions at the Talon.]
Star: Looking for a little inspiration?
Jimmy: No. Thanks. I've already got my muse. So, is this supposed to make you feel... blissful or whatever?
Star: Not "supposed to." It does.
Jimmy: Oh. That sounds kind of easy. You're on the rebound, you just rub some sexy goo on, and wham! You're singing Barry White songs again.
Star: Indigenous cultures have used herbal oils for centuries. We've strayed so far from nature, we think we're above it.
Jimmy: Yeah. Yeah. Uh, nature -- good. Greenhouse gases -- bad, I get it. Look, my girlfriend thinks that you dosed her cousin with a love potion last night.
Star: Tall, loud, down on love?
Jimmy: That would be Lois. So, do you have any, like, anti-love exfoliant or whatever -- something to take the vaseline off the lens, so to speak?
Star: This will counteract the aphrodisiac.
[She pulls a vial out of a glass case that is glowing green, obviously infused with green Kryptonite to counteract the effects of the red Kryptonite lipstick.]
Star: But I usually have a sixth sense about people. Something tells me Lois and Clark's destinies are a little more entwined than they realize.
[A group of friends and family is seated around a long dinner table for the engagement party. After a moment, Lex taps his glass for everyone's attention and rises to speak.]
Lex: [ Tapping on glass ] Could I have everyone's attention, please? I just wanted to thank you all for joining us to celebrate. Over the years, I'm sure some of you have placed a few bets on whether I'd settle down. But this couldn't be further from settling. I'd like to toast my beautiful fiancée for making me happier than I thought I could ever be.
[As he finishes this, Clark and Lois burst into the room.]
Clark: Looks like we missed dinner.
Lex: Clark, what are you doing here?
[As Clark starts to speak, he circles the dinner table, speaking to each of his own friends and family as he goes.]
Clark: Come on, Lex. You didn't think I was gonna miss this, did you? And look. My own mother would rather raise a glass with the enemy than stand by her own son.
Martha: Clark, you're not yourself.
Clark: It's okay, Mom. You're more a Luthor than a Kent these days anyway. I mean, dad's been, what, dead a year? But who can blame you for joining the race with Lana to see who's gonna add the Luthor monogram to their name first?
[Both Martha and Lana are shocked at Clark's words and his behavior, and both struggle to maintain their composure at this display. Lex starts to move against Clark, but Lana stops him.]
Lana: Lex, he's obviously on something, and he wants us to react. Please don't. [ Lex holds off ]
[Clark stops behind Chloe's chair, and she is unable to turn around to face him. He speaks to her over her shoulder, almost whispering in her ear.]
Clark: Chloe, I can't say that I'm surprised that you're celebrating here. After all, once Lana's off the market, all those years of unrequited pining may actually pay off. I can't say I haven't thought about it.
[Clark turns to face Lana.]
Clark: And you. You know, I got to hand it to you. If you were gonna rebound, why not choose the one person that I hated the most? But, I mean, come on, Lana. The joke's over by now, isn't it?
Lex: Clark, I think you've done enough damage. Why don't you leave?
Clark: I'm not done yet! Besides, Lex, I haven't given you my gift yet. [ Clark grabs a glass of champagne from the table ] Congratulations on sealing the deal. [ Clark pulls out a baby rattle from his jacket and holds it up to the group ] To baby Luthor... [ Gasps from the guests as Clark tosses the rattle to Lex ] the real reason that Lana's marrying you.
[As he says this last, he holds up the champagne glass towards Lana, in a mock toast. Lana can only look on in disgust. Lex has had enough and rushes at Clark but Clark dodges him easily, throwing him into a table holding a display of wine glasses, which shatters to the ground as Lex falls into it.]
Lana: Lex! [ Lana turns to Clark ] How dare you?
Clark: C'mon, Lana, if no one else in this room is gonna save you from Lex, then I will.
[Clark grabs Lana by the arm and starts to pull her towards the door when Lois stops them.]
Lois: I don't think so. Lana is your past. I'm your future.
Clark: This is the present.
[Clark continues out of the room, with Lana struggling against him but unable to break his grip.]
Martha: Clark was acting like he was exposed to red Kryptonite.
Chloe: I'm guessing it wasn't a coincidence that Lois went hopelessly devoted at the same time. According to Jimmy, I think we may have found our culprit.
[Chloe holds up a napkin with a clear, red lipstick imprint on it.]
Chloe: Infused with a cupid's cocktail. Lois was hit with an aphrodisiac.
Martha: But that shouldn't affect Clark.
Chloe: Well, it didn't, but I'm guessing that the lipstick's ruby-red sheen didn't come from crushed cranberries.
Martha: If he was infected with a Kryptonite kiss, the second he was away from Lois, he should have been fine.
Chloe: I think Lois' kisses were a little more than skin deep. I think it's in his system.
[Lois is sitting at the table, sulking at being rejected by Clark.]
Lois: He wasn't good enough for me anyway.
Martha: I'll let you handle Lois. Hopefully, I can find Clark before Lex does.
[Jimmy walks into the room.]
Chloe: Hey. You got it?
Jimmy: Mugwort, A.K.A., a delegating success story. Once this hits her skin, Lois' pumpkin ride is over.
Lois: [ Still sulking to herself ] What does she have that I don't?
Jimmy: So weird to see her acting like a girl.
[Chloe takes the green spray bottle and walks up to Lois.]
Lois: What's that?
Chloe: Just a little something to help break the infatuation spell. I think it's time we get those glass slippers back.
[Lois is incensed by this and knocks the bottle from her hand. It rolls to the end of the table, where Jimmy dives to catch it. Lois lashes out at Chloe, sending her to the floor.]
Lois: You know what? Stop making fun of my feelings! Just because you never got Clark doesn't mean you need to take it out on me.
[Jimmy takes the bottle and sprays it at Lois before she can react. The effect is immediate, as the sheen is taken off of her red lips and she is startled, as if out a dream.]
Lois: Uh... wow, this is awkward. [ She looks down at her dress ] Please tell I was going to a costume party.
[Clark drags Lana up into the loft.]
Lana: You humiliated me in front of my friends.
Clark: Come on, Lana. You hardly knew anyone at that party.
Lana: Clark, what do you want from me?
Clark: What I've always wanted -- for you to be happy.
Lana: I would love to know how that feels, but it seems like every time I get close, you rip it all away from me.
Clark: Lana, stop kidding yourself. You're never gonna be satisfied with Lex. You can't marry him.
[She looks at him, defiant and still disgusted with his behavior.]
Lana: I've already made up my mind.
Clark: Even though you're still in love with me?
Lana: What makes you so sure?
Clark: Because I'm still in love with you.
[At this, Clark pulls her into a long kiss. She struggles to break free at first, then gives in and clearly kisses him back.]
Clark: Don't marry Lex. Marry me.
[At this Lana is incensed at Clark's attitude and as she speaks, she starts to cry.]
Lana: I have given you... every chance. I have stood in this spot so many times, just waiting for you to say something, and you decide to do it now? You don't love me, Clark. You just can't stand the idea that I love someone else.
[Lex walks into the barn.]
Lex: Lana! Lana?
[Lana runs down the steps to meet him and they embrace. Clark makes his way down the steps as he speaks.]
Clark: Go ahead, Lana, tell him -- that you'd rather be with me.
Lana: Don't listen to him. He's on something.
Clark: Oh. Well, it didn't seem to bother you two minutes ago when you were kissing me.
[Lex is stricken by this and Lana says nothing.]
Lex: What do you really expect is gonna happen now, Clark?
Clark: Exactly what you're afraid of.
Lana: I'm not a competition.
Clark: You are to Lex. He didn't tell you? [ Chuckles ] He's always wanted everything I've ever had. And you were at the top of that list. You're just a trophy to him. And he's nothing but your consolation prize. Now, tell me you don't love me. Lana! Tell me you don't --
[Clark steps towards Lana and Lex pulls out a gun and aims it at Clark.]
Lex: Stay away from her.
Clark: [ Calmly ] You don't want to do that. You can't win. You don't even know the rules of the game.
[Clark sidesteps the gun and grabs Lex, driving him backwards through one of the walls of the barn and into a large in the outer wall of the barn. Clark wraps his hands around Lex's throat, choking him.]
Lana: Clark, stop it!
[Lex is gasping for breath.]
Clark: If I'd have known who you were gonna turn out to be, I never would have saved you on that bridge.
Lana: Clark, you're killing him!
[Lex struggles against Clark's grip and searches for something to fight him off. He finds a box of tools within reach, grabs a long metal tool and jabs it into Clark's side. At the same time, Martha comes into the barn with a piece of green Kryptonite, and when Clark falls from the effects of the Kryptonite, it appears to Lex and Lana that he has been hurt by Lex's move.]
Clark: Ohh! [ Groaning ] ] [Martha holds the lead box with the Kryptonite behind her back.] Martha: Lana, let me handle this. Please, just leave.
Martha: Lana, let me handle this. Please, just leave.
[As Lana and Lex run from the barn, Lana sees the metal tool lying in the ground. The end of it is bent back as if it was driven into steel. She hides her shock as they both leave. Once they are gone, Martha closes the lead box and kneels to Clark's side.]
Martha: Clark, are you okay? Oh, sweetie.
[Clark is talking to his Mom up in the loft.]
Clark: If you hadn't shown up in time, I'm not sure what I would have done to Lex. How'd you know what to do?
Martha: The last time you had some kind of Kryptonite in your system, you had to sweat it out. Weakening you seemed to be our only chance.
Clark: I just can't believe all those things I did.
Martha: I can.
Clark: I guess I can't blame you for being mad at me, too.
Martha: Clark, you've walked around here for years bottling everything up, basing every decision on what's best for other people. You never stop to think what's best for you.
Clark: Mom, you don't think I really meant those things I said about you and Chloe?
Martha: I think there was a grain of truth in all of it. Every time you've been affected by red Kryptonite, it hasn't changed who you are. It's just stripped away your inhibitions. I think you need to start being more honest about how you feel.
Clark: So... you're saying that I want to kiss Lois and keep Chloe in my back pocket while the whole time I'm still in love with Lana?
Martha: You're the only one who can sort that out.
Clark: When I kissed Lana, I could tell that she still felt something. And, Mom... Mom, I can't let her marry Lex.
Martha: This is probably hard to hear, but I think the best thing you can do is leave her alone.
[Lois walks into the barn and up to the loft.]
Lois: Clark, girl alert! I never know what I'll find in a grown man's clubhouse. Oh. Sorry, Mrs. Kent.
Clark: Hey, Lois.
Lois: Yeah, hi. Well, I talked to Chloe, and she filled me in on... Lois gone wild. But I'm just missing a few details about us... [ She pulls back her shirt a bit to show him her tattoo ] like this.
Clark: [ Sarcastically ] Wow, Lois, I had no idea.
Lois: Save it, Smallville. I was obviously on something. Thank God the ink wears off in a week. [ Sighs ] Well, I guess it's best that neither of us remembers. I mean I can't even really picture the two of us... you don't think that we...
Clark: [ Taunting her ] Think that we what?
Lois: [ Sighs ] You know... that we...
Clark: [ Chuckles ] No, Lois. I think I'd remember.
Lois: Yeah. Of course you would. Highlight of your life.
Clark: Though I did find something. I think you made it for me.
[He takes the CD she made for him out of a drawer and hands it to her.]
Lois: Whitesnake. Wow. I must have really liked you.
[Lois looks at him uneasily, wondering just how much the lipstick affected her and just how much her own feelings might have had something to do with it.]
[Chloe meets Jimmy in the hallway at the Daily Planet.]
Chloe: Hey! Put another one down for the J-Chlo team. Thanks to you, Lois is back to her old heartbroken, abrasive self.
Jimmy: I'm glad I could help with that, I guess.
Chloe: And Clark is, well, back to being Clark.
Jimmy: Well, you're kind of brushing the landfill under the rug, aren't you?
Chloe: What, with Clark? So he took the whole breakup jealousy way past the drunk-dialing stage. Can't arrest him for it.
Jimmy: He crashed Lana's party and told the world that she's eating for two. Did I mention that he kidnapped her?
Chloe: I guarantee you Clark is beating himself up more than anyone right now, so we can just give the Clark-bashing a reprieve, ok?
Jimmy: No. Not until you admit that he royally screwed up.
Chloe: You don't know him like I do.
Jimmy: And you remind me of that every day. You know, if I did the things that he did, you would never even talk to me again. And don't deny that!
Chloe: So what are you saying, I'm lying to you now?
Jimmy: Can you really tell me that if you had the choice, you wouldn't rather be with him?
[Chloe looks at him uneasily, pausing just a little too long to respond.]
Chloe: Of course not. You're my guy.
[Jimmy looks back at her, seeing the truth in her face.]
Chloe: [ Indignant ] Now you don't believe me. Well, I don't know what else to say.
Jimmy: Well, I think that's the point. Neither of us do. You know, maybe we should take a break.
Chloe: Jimmy, I...
[Lana is in her room with Lex, being checked out by her physician.]
Doctor: You're fine, Miss Lang. Nothing to worry about.
Lex: Thank you, doctor. I just wanted to be sure, with everything Lana went through yesterday.
[The doctor exits, leaving them alone.]
Lana: Lex, I'm really sorry about what happened last night -- about Clark.
Lex: As far as I'm concerned, what we have doesn't have anything to do with Clark. But, then, I wasn't the one kissing him.
Lana: And I wasn't the one holding a gun to his head.
Lex: [ Chuckles ] Funny how he calls this a game.
Lana: What were you gonna do, Lex, shoot him?
Lex: If I had to.
Lana: To save me or to hurt him?
Lex: Considering what he did to you, Lana, I had every right to come after Clark. But the thing is, I... I can't blame him. If I ever let you slip through my fingers, I have no idea what I'd be capable of.
[Lex leaves the room, finding the doctor waiting for him in the hallway.]
Lex: How is she, really?
Doctor: Well, you know this isn't the most typical pregnancy, but everything's on schedule.
[Back in her room, Lana sits down at her dressing table and takes out a red handkerchief. It is wrapped around the metal tool from the barn.]
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