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Smallville Transcripts


First aired December 8, 2005

Lexmas  picture

Provided by Suzanne


[ Car alarm activates ]

Griff:  Ho, ho, ho, Lex.

Lex:  Any reason we couldn't have met at the mansion?

Griff:  I don't make house calls.   You want to utilize my skills, you come to me. That is, if you really want to bring down Jonathan Kent.

Lex:  And I'm assuming you have some kind of grenade to launch at him. 43C37253.JPG

Griff:  [ Chuckles ] Not yet... but I will. I'll either find it or create it. It's the pitfall of being in the public eye. See, what's printed about a man is gospel. Doesn't matter if it's fact or not.

Lex:  Give me 24 hours.

Griff:  Your old man wouldn't hesitate.

Lex:  Before I go down the path you're proposing, I want to consider all of my options.

Griff:  What's the matter, Lex -- holiday spirit got you all sentimental?

Lex:  My father gets wind that we met, you're not gonna make it to New Year's, Griff.

Man: I told you two, get the hell out of here. Don't come back.

Kid:  Well, well. Looks like Santa Claus came to town after all.

Lex:  I'm not looking for trouble.

Kid:  Come on, man, I ain't playin'! 43C3729D.JPGGive me your keys!

Lex:  All right, take it easy, take it --

Kid:  Now! And the watch!

[ Gunshot ]

[ Woman breathing heavily ]

Lex:  Lana. Aah!

Alex:  Breakfast!

Lex:  Whoa! Who are you?

Lana:  Honey, you did promise him. [ Chuckles ]

Alex:  Right!

Lex:  Whoa, I-I-I don't remember.  What happened?

Alex:  Come on, Dad. Let's go!

Lana:  Pancakes.  You promised Alex pancakes, and then you're gonna go shopping for a tree.

Lex:  L-listen, I -- no, don't.

Alex:  Dad!

Lana:  Don't complain. 

Alex:  Let's go.  Come on, Dad!

Lana:  You're the one who always wants to wait until Christmas Eve to get it.

Lex:  Lana, you're p-- 43C372EF.JPG

Lana:  Alex, come on, honey, let's get you dressed.

Alex:  Okay. 

Lex:  What the --

Alex:  Me and Dad are gonna get the best tree there.

Lana:  "Dad and I."

Lex:  What happened? Where am I?

[ Pill bottle drops ]

Lillian:  Hello, Lex.

Lex:  Mom? But you're... am I dead?

Lillian:  No, Lex. You're still very much alive.

Lex:  Then how is... I'm dreaming. 43C37333.JPG

[ Water turns on. ]

Lillian:  it's no dream, Lex.  This is your life.

Lex:  But I don't understand. This -- this can't be.  This isn't real.

Lillian:  It is real, Lex -- as real as you want it to be. All of this can be yours if you make the right choices.

Lex:  All of this? What do you mean? What are you talking about?

[ Thunder rumbles ] 

Jonathan:  Ow!

Martha:  Serves you right.  These are for the party.  Besides, we have enough politicians with their hands in the cookie jar.

Jonathan:  Martha...Look, I know you're not sold on the WHOLE idea of me running foe state senate.

Martha:   "Not sold" would be an understatement.

Jonathan:  But it is Christmas EVe. See?  [ Chuckles ] Can we please not talk about that?

[ Martha sighs ]

Jonathan:  Please? Come on, please? Please?

Martha:   Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

Jonathan:  Just one.

Martha:   You cheater.

Lana:  There. She's perfect.

Clark:  Yes, she is.

Lois:  It's usually just me and Mel at Christmas, 43C37479.JPGlots of tinsel, and an artificial tree. Thank you, Clark, for saving me from another plastic, store-bought holiday.

Clark:  You're welcome.

[ Cellphone rings to tune of "Jingle Bells" ]

[ Both laugh ]

Lana:  Tell her "Merry Christmas, Chloe".

Clark:  Hi, Chloe.

Chloe:  Clark, I've got a problem. Meet me at the planet. I need your help. 

Paramedic:  Multiple gunshot wounds.  Shoulder, mid-abdomen, no apparent exit wound.

43C3749C.JPGDr. Scanlon:  Mr. Luthor, can you hear me?

Paramedic:  Code 120.

Dr. Scanlon:  Mr. Luthor, squeeze my hand if you can hear me.

[ Dr. Scanlon clears throat ]

Lana:  Alexander, hey! Hey, wait for your father.

Alex:  Come on!

Lana:  Try and be back by 6:00 so we can make it to the Kents' party.

Lex:  Kents?

Lana:  [ Chuckles ] And this year, try and remember that we're on a budget.

Lex:  What? W-we have a budget?

Lana:  Lex, it's been seven years since your father cut up your platinum card. I think it's time to embrace the middle-class lifestyle.

Alex:  Daddy, Daddy, let's go, let's go.

Lex:  Seven years? Wha-- I just-- Seven years? 43C374D7.JPGI-- Let me see.

Lana:  Okay, here. You know what?  Let me do that, Lex. Come here.[ Laughs ] Come on. One of these days, you're gonna figure out how to do this, and hopefully it's before your new little girl arrives. Alex, in you go. I'm sorry about the whole budget thing. I know that you only overspend because you want the best for us, and that's part of why I love you so much. Have fun.   [ Laughs ] 43C3750D.JPG

[ Car door closes ]

[ Alex burps and chuckles ]

Alex:  Wow!

Lex:  Wow is right.  Lana said -- your mom said -- Clark? Hey. Oh, you have no idea how happy I am to see the two of you.

Chloe:  Are you a father again?

Lex:  Uh... no. Not yet. I was just --

Alex:  Uncle Clark, Uncle Clark, make me fly!

Clark:  Hey! Hey, I missed you, little guy. Come on.  Whoosh!  I'm sorry I haven't been around lately. Things have been crazy at the Planet. 43C37558.JPG

Chloe:  Yeah, don't let his "things have been crazy" line fool you. He's been promoted.

Clark:  Yeah, now I'm a full-fledged reporter.

Chloe:  I've got some pretty big news, too.

Lex:  Okay.

Chloe:  My book's being published in January.

Lex:  Wow. That's-- that's great.

Chloe:  Yeah, they love the idea of a Luthorcorp expos, complete with an anonymous tell-all source. Thank you so much. I couldn't have done it without you, Lex.

Clark:  All right, Miss "Did I Mention That My Book Is About to Be Published?" Let's get your tree and get out of here.

Clark:  Bye, Alex. 

Chloe:  Allright.  Bye, Alex.   Bye, Lex.

Clark:  See ya, Lex. See you tonight.

Lex:  Yeah.  See ya.

Alex: Dad! This one's awesome! 

[ Monitor beeping ]

43C3758C.JPGLionel:  What happened? What's wrong with my son?

Nurse: Just a minute.

Lionel:  Where's the doctor?

Dr. Scanlon:  Mr. Luthor, I'm Dr. Scanlon.

Lionel:  What's happening, doctor?

Dr. Scanlon:  Your son's been shot.

Lionel:  Shot?

Dr. Scanlon:  Fortunately, his life is no longer in danger. I'm afraid Lex is going to be permanently paralyzed from the chest down. Your son's internal bleeding created a blood clot that's slowly compressing his spinal cord. If we could relieve the pressure, we might --

Lionel:  if? No. No, we are going to do it, Doctor... now. 43C375C7.JPG

Dr. Scanlon:  Mr. Luthor, Lex hasn't stabilized yet. An operation at this stage could kill him.

Lionel:  My son is going to walk, doctor.   Get me Dr. Litvack.

Chloe: So, then they put me in charge, and I've actually gotten a really great response. I mean, I have doubled the number of Toys For Tots the Planet collected last year.

Clark:  Okay, so what's the problem?

Chloe: Well, the presents need to be delivered tonight and the teamsters are on strike on Christmas Eve.

Clark:  So, instead of calling FedEx, you called me?

Chloe: I realize it's a lot to ask, but, I mean, you do run faster than a speeding bullet and I know you don't want to disappoint all those underprivileged children, do you?

Clark:  Chloe, you didn't have to go there.

Chloe: Well, you know it's true. I mean, you'd be helping out a really great cause, not to mention saving my career.

Clark:  It's just, I promised Lana that I would --

Chloe: I'm sure she'll understand. 43C375F5.JPGOr at least she'll understand whatever it is that you make up to tell her. Please?

Clark:  All right.

Chloe: Yay!

Clark:  I'll deliver a few on my way to the party.

Chloe: You're my hero.  I knew you'd come through. 43C3761B.JPG

Clark:   Chloe, this isn't Toys for Tots. It's Toys "R" Us.  How many are there?

Chloe: Uh, a couple thousand, give or take. Now, I Mapquested these addresses and the sooner you can get started, the better.   Here comes Santa Claus.  [ Laughs ]

Boy:  You're not Santa Claus.

Clark:  Yes, I am.  I'm, uh... ...I'm the new, improved model.

Boy:  Liar. You can't be Santa. He is.

Clark:  You all right?  You're a little close to the edge, aren't you?

Santa:  Makes it easier to jump.

Clark:  Yeah, I guess it does, doesn't it?  Mind if I sit?

Santa:  It's a free whatever. You want a drink?

Clark:  No, thanks.  I'm good. W-why don't you ha- have a seat? You can always jump later.

Santa:  Yeah, I guess you're right. After all... it's not like I've got somewhere to be. 43C3774F.JPG

Clark:  Listen, I don't want to be nosy, but... ...I was just wondering, Santa... what are you doing up here? I mean, why are you gonna jump?

Santa:  Give me one good reason why I shouldn't. You can't, can you? Have you had a good look at the world lately? It's all take, take, take, bitch, bitch, bitch. What happened to Christmas? Peace on earth? Good will to men? I'll tell you something. The spirit of Christmas is dead.     [ Sniffles ] And it's gonna take a lot more than Santa Claus to revive it.

Doctor Scanlon:  [ Beeping ] Increase his liquids and, uh, give him 8 milligrams of decadron.

Lionel:  The only thing you have to give my son, Dr. Scanlon, is whatever is medically necessary to have him moved. I am having Lex airlifted to the Davis Clinic in Metropolis for immediate surgery. Their neurosurgeon is standing by.

Dr. Scanlon:  Mr. Luthor, I can't condone this.

Lionel:  Luckily, doctor, you don't have to. Listen to me. You are going to walk, son.


[ Lex grunts ]

Alex:  Mommy, come see. It's a beauty, isn't it, Dad?

Lex:  I know what you're thinking.

Lana:  That you've given into your son again, that you're spoiling him?

Lex:  Exactly.  And I can certainly understand how you reach that conclusion, but...the thing is... ...this tree is for me. I don't know if I ever told you this, but after my mother died... my father didn't allow Christmas to be celebrated in our house. It was a very bleak, very lonely time for me. And when I saw this tree and it was exactly like the ones I dreamed about all the years I couldn't have one, somehow it represented all the Christmases I missed. Can you understand that?

Lana:  Of course I can, honey. It's the same thing that you tell me every year. 43C377FC.JPGUh...All right, let me get something to put on the floor before you get needles everywhere.

Lex:  Come on, muscles. Do I have to do this all myself?

[ Alex aughs ]

Lex:  Hey. What's this?

[ Lana chuckles ]

Lana:  Your father's secretary never does forget us.

Lex:  No, this is a corporate gift, not something from my father.  I don't understand.

43C37844.JPGLana:  Lex, you know that Christmas is just another opportunity for your father to ignore you. It's his way of reminding you just how disappointed he is in you for turning your back on what he thinks it means to be a Luthor. But as far as I'm concerned... ...getting shot was the best thing that ever happened to you. Coming that close to dying made you realize the things in your life that are important, made you the man that you are today... the man I married.

Man:  Medevac standing by. 

Man #2: Roger that.  Please proceed with patient. Over and out.

Santa: Now, let me get this straight. You gave up your first Christmas with the girl you have loved since you spied on her through your telescope to deliver 43C37882.JPG

Clark:  Yeah. I mean, well, I wasn't spying on her. Look, I wasn't the only one. My friend Chloe, she gave up her plans, too. I mean, someone had to do it. Otherwise those kids wouldn't have gotten their presents. They're the ones who really need them.

Santa: So, the two of you decided to try and play Santa Claus? 

[ Clark chuckles ]

Santa: I guess I was wrong. The spirit of Christmas isn't dead, after all. [ Chuckles ]

Clark:  You sure you're all right?

Santa: I am now.  Whoa! Ho, ho, holy cow.

Clark:  Merry Christmas.

 Dr. Litvak:  We'll begin by collapsing the left lung, followed by a left-sided thoracotomy.   Merry Christmas, everyone. Now, kill the carols.  I'm about to perform a miracle.

Clark:  The party can officially begin.  The Luthors are here.   Merry Christmas, Lana.

Lana:  Merry Christmas, Clark.

Clark:  Lex, merry Christmas.

Lex:  Hey.  Merry Christmas.

Jonathan:  Lex. Just the man I've been waiting for. Lana, you look beautiful.

Lana:  Thank you.

Jonathan:  And just about due, I might add.

Lana:  Only a few more weeks now, Senator.

Chloe:  Hi, Lex.  Merry Christmas.

Lex:  Hi.  Nice to see you.

Martha: Merry Christmas, Lana. 

Lana:  Thank you.

Martha:  You look so beautiful.

Chloe:  Come on, Lana.  [ Chuckles ]  Let's go get some punch.

Martha:  Lex, Merry Christmas.

Jonathan:  Look, I probably shouldn't be showing you this, 43C379F3.JPGbut being a state senator does have its advantages, like a little advance notice from the governor. Lex, I never actually thought I'd say this. I couldn't be prouder of you if you were my own son.

Lex:  Mr. Kent --Jonathan -- I don't know-- I don't know what to say.

Jonathan:  Let's tell everybody, shall we? Hmm? Come on. Everybody, grab a drink. Come on, grab a glass.  Listen up. Here, here, please.  Thank you. 43C37A21.JPG [ Clears throat ] Now, uh... ladies and gentlemen, I have it on very good authority that this year's Kansas Humanitarian Award is going to be given to our very own Lex Luthor. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Lex Luthor, the finest man I know. 

Everyone:  Cheers!  Cheers! Cheers!  Cheers! [ Applause ]

Lex: I can't remember ever being this happy. This has been the best day of my life. Thank you.

Lillian:  It doesn't have to end, Lex. Every day can be this wonderful. I told you this is the life you could have, the life you can have, Lex.

Lex:  This is what I want. What do I have to do?

Lillian:  You just have to make the right decision, Lex. Follow your heart, not your ambition.

Lex:  What decision?  What are you talking about? 43C37A5C.JPG

Clark:  Lex...who you talking to?

Lex:  No one...or possibly myself. I really don't know anymore. I guess I'm just feeling contemplative this evening.

Clark:  Yeah, well, the, uh, holidays will do that to you.

Lex:  [ Chuckles ] You know, my life hasn't turned out at all the way I planned. And yet, I've never been happier.

Clark:  Lex, you have a wonderful life and every reason to be happy. You have a beautiful wife, great son, a baby on the way.

Lex:  Something I still can't quite believe -- me and Lana. Now, how the hell did that happen?

Clark:   [ Chuckles ] Well... you became the kind of man she could love.

Lex:  You mean the kind of man you've always been?

Clark:  And, Lex, you offered her something I didn't.

Lex:  What held you back, Clark? I mean, I know you love her -- 43C37AA7.JPG loved her.

Clark:  I don't know. I guess I just wasn't ready, Lex. Maybe I never will be. But I am glad that you and Lana ended up together and we've been able to remain such good friends.

Lex:  Thank you.

Martha:  Lex, come quickly.  It's Lana.

43C37ACD.JPGDr. Litvak:  Suction. Yeah, I need more suction.

Nurse:  Yes, sir. 

Dr. Litvak:  And give me some more exposure.

Nurse:  Right away.  O2's at 75.  He's in defib.

[ Beeping, flatl]

Dr. Litvak:  We're losing him. Come on, people, get it together.

Nurse:  I'll grab a cart.

[ Baby crying ]

Lex:  Okay?  You were great.

Doctor:  Merry Christmas. You're the parents of a beautiful baby girl.

Lex:  Wow. She's perfect. What an amazing Christmas gift, Lana. Thank you.

Lana:  Well, you did a little bit. 43C37AF6.JPG [ Chuckles ] Hi.  Hi, little girl. You're so beautiful.

Lex:  Wow. We did that.

[ Lana gasping ]

Lex:  Lana, are you okay? Nurse? Nurse? 

Doctor:  Hemorrhaging.  We need to start transfusing.

Lex:  What's happening?

Doctor:  Someone get him out of here.

Lex:  What's wrong?

Doctor:  I'm sorry, sir, you'll have to leave.

Lex:  Lana?

Doctor:  Nurse, start an IV push.  Type and cross three units. Let's get her into the O.R. now. 

[ Backround chatter ]

Doctor:  Mr. Luthor?

Lex:  How is she?

Doctor:  I'm sorry, but your wife has lost a lot of blood. We're trying to control it, but --

Lex:  There's got to be something you can do.

Lex:  [ Door opens ] Dad, I --I, uh, need your help.

Lionel:  I don't doubt it. Why else would you be here Christmas Eve?

Lex:  It's Lana, Dad. They started transfusions, but we've got to get her to a specialist. There's a surgeon in Metropolis at the Davis Clinic. 43C37C0E.JPG

Lionel:  [ Exhales sharply ] Oh, Lex, what a sorry situation you have gotten yourself into.

Lex:  I don't think you understand. My wife is dying, and I need the helijet to save her.

Lionel:  I understand you perfectly. You turned your back on me seven years ago, but now you need my help. So, now you have no problem banging on my door, begging for favors in the name of family.

Lex:  I'm talking about Lana! I know we've had our differences, but my wife -- she's the mother of your grandchildren.

Lionel:  How could I have grandchildren? I don't have a son.

Lex:  You bastard! You can save her.

Lionel:  No, Lex. I'm not gonna do that. Don't you understand that every decision you've made 43C37C4E.JPGhas brought you to this very moment, beginning that day seven years ago in the hospital when you decided to forfeit the state senate race to Jonathan Kent? I told you this would happen. I warned you, but you chose to give up your family. And when you made that decision, you gave up the money and the power that would've enabled you to save your wife.  [ Scoffs ] Pathetic. You said you didn't want to be a Luthor, that you wanted instead to be free to live happily ever after. Go on, then, Lex. You better get back to it. 

[ Monitor beeping ]

Lex:  Lana...please. Don't give up. Don't leave me.

Lana:  Lex.

Lex. Hey.

You have to be strong, Lex, for Alexander...for Lily.

Lex:  Lana... ...I love you. Maybe I tell you that all the time -- I don't know -- but please listen to me. I mean it.  I love you. I have always loved you.

Lana:  I love you, too, Lex Luthor. You're a good man. Don't ever change. 43C37CEA.JPG

[ Flatlining ]

Lex:  [ Crying ]  What did you do to her? Why didn't you stop this? I thought you were showing me a better life.

Lillian:  I was, Lex. I am.

Lex:  A life where my wife dies? A life full of pain?

Lillian:  No, Lex, a life full of love.

Lex:  Love? Everyone I've ever loved has died. First Julian and then you... and now Lana's dead. And I couldn't do anything to stop it. 43C37D2F.JPG

[ Lex gasps ]

Lionel:  Lex? Son

Lex:  ...Lana!

Lionel:  ...I'm here. You're in Metropolis, Lex, at the Davis Clinic. You've been shot. But you're gonna be all right.

[ Lex breathing heavily ]

[ Bell rings ]

Santa:  Merry Christmas, Chloe.

Chloe:  Santa?

Santa:  Suit gave me away, huh? [ Chuckles ]

Chloe:  [ Chuckles nervously ] Uh, what, uh, what --what do you want?

Santa:  I met a friend of yours-- young Clark Kent. He told me what you two were doing, how you were giving up your respective Christmas Eves. I figured you could use a little help.

Chloe:  Shouldn't you be, you know, standing on a street corner with a bell? 43C37E77.JPG

Santa:  [ Laughs ] Come on, let me give you two a hand, take a little bit of the pressure off. I am familiar with the job, you know.    [ Chuckles ]

Chloe: I don't know.

Santa:  Give me a chance. Worst-case scenario -- I make off with a few free squirt guns.

Chloe:  Well, we definitely could use all the help we can get. 

[Santa chuckles]

Chloe:  And at least no one's gonna accuse you of being a scab in a Santa outfit.

[Santa chuckles]

Chloe:  All right, um, I've organized the addresses from East to West, so if you just...

Lionel:  Lex, you wanted to talk to me? [ Scoffs ] Whatever it is, son, it can wait till you're stronger.

Lex:  You're right. I should probably be resting. After all, I did just undergo a life-threatening operation. 43C37EC4.JPG      

[ Lionel chuckles ]

Lex:  Dr. Litvack told me the odds of survival I had going into surgery. Pretty reckless roll of the dice, don't you think?

Lionel:  On the contrary, son, I-- What I did may appear callous, but opting for my son to have surgery was a deliberate decision.

Lex:  But it wasn't your decision to make, was it? You went against the doctors' advice not because you wanted to save me, but because you couldn't bear having a cripple for a son.

Lionel:  You may hate me for taking the risk, but I had to make a choice. And you're alive... and you can walk. I had to give you that chance.

Lex:  And what if I hadn't made it? How would you have justified your decision then? How dare you play God with my life.

Jonathan:  Hey, hey, no! 43C37F22.JPG On, come on.  Outside. Mel. The dog.

Chloe:  So, then I turn back around and your tubby, little miscreant is gone along with all the toys.

Clark:  Yeah, right. The same guy, the drunk Santa, the guy who I just talked off the roof of a building.

Chloe:  Yes, honestly, Clark. I mean, I'm sure that I was tired enough to have imagined Santa, but there is no way I could've dreamed away all of those Wiffle balls and Game Boys.   Maybe he really is...

Clark:  Yeah, right.

Chloe:  Come on, Clark, there's a chance.

Martha: Look, everybody, it's snowing. 43C37F4F.JPG  [ Laughs ] Oh, we are gonna have a white Christmas.

[ Everyone laughing ] 

Clark:  Merry Christmas, Lana.

Lana:  Merry first Christmas together, Clark -- first of many.  [ Chuckles ]

[ Door opens ]

Lex:  I thought you didn't make house calls.

Griff:  Given the circumstances, I made an exception.

Lex:  Oh, not to worry, Griff. We Luthors are made of pretty tough and definitely expensive material.

Griff:  You sure your morphine drip isn't turned up too high?

Lex:  Well, it's not every day that one has a near-death experience. And it's true. Much like Ebenezer Scrooge, I realized that what I want more than anything... is to live happily ever after. And do you know what the secret 43C37F9A.JPGto living happily ever after is? Power. Money and power. See, once you have those two things, you can secure everything else... and keep it that way.

Griff:  So, what am I doing here, Lex?

Lex:  I want you to pull the pin on that grenade. Find it, fake it... do whatever it takes to knock Jonathan Kent out of the race. I want to be senator. I want it all.

Griff:  Consider it done. Merry Christmas.

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