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Smallville Transcripts


First aired April 27th, 2006

"Oracle" picture of Lois and Graham

Provided by Suzanne
Proofread by Deanna

[ Grunts ]

Clark: You okay? 

[ Breathing heavy ]

Graham: You -- you saved my life I don't know how to thank you.

Clark: I did what anybody else would have done.

Graham: I'm sorry. I have to go. Thank you, again. Really.

Chloe: Hey! Now, you couldn't do that on the farm. Thanks to you, that guy's got a new lease on life. Nice work.

Cop 1: Holding room checks out. Witness has arrived safe and secure.

Cop 2: There's only one way into this room, and we're guarding it. Get your stuff on. 44791F5F.JPG

[ Door locks ] 44791F31.JPG

Graham: Can I help you with that?

[ Choking ]

[ Bones crack ]

[ Door unlocks ]

Cop 1: Man down! Man down! Secure the area!

Lois: Give it up!

[ Grunting ]

Lois: Die, samurai! Die!

Clark: Lois!

Lois: Too late, sucker! And, general, you are mine.

Clark: Lois! 

[ Bong ]

Lois: Oh, come on, Smallville, you killed me.

Clark: Where did all this come from?

Lois: I think there's a card somewhere. Looks like christmas came early this year -- in high-def surround sound, no less. The delivery guys were unloading it when I got here. You win a raffle or something, Smallville?

Clark: Not that I know of.

Lois: Aha! Here you go. "Clark." And... I'll just get to work. 4479209A.JPG

Martha: Who's it from?

Clark: I don't need a signature to know that this is from44792081.JPG Lionel Luthor.

Martha: Oh, Clark. I wouldn't jump to conclusions.

Clark: Mom, I want him to stay out of our lives. This is his way of trying to buy himself back in.

Martha: I really don't think Lionel would do this, but... I'll go call and find out. 

[ Elevator ding ]

Chloe: hey, Clark. Do you remember that trial that was canceled due to unforeseen circumstances? The star witness was murdered in the basement of the courthouse.

Clark: The basement? Are there any leads?

Chloe: Nothing, and now the prosecution has no case. It looks like this story has gone from legal to lethal.

Clark: I guess this is a bad time to ask for a favor?

Chloe: Are you kidding me? With the amount of times you've saved my butt, you can pull a coin from the favor bank anytime you need. 447920D4.JPG

Clark: Someone sent me a 50-inch plasma with all the bells and whistles -- forgot to sign the gift card.

Chloe: Clark, that's not a problem. That's winning the Trifecta. When's movie night?

Clark: Never.  I sent it all back.

Chloe: No, you didn't!

Clark: Yes, I did. I'm not gonna accept a gift like that, especially when I don't know who it's fr447920BA.JPGom. I called Metro Plasma -- they won't give me any information. Can you call them, get into the sales records?

Chloe: Sure. It sounds like a move from the Lionel Luthor playbook.

Clark: That's the first thing I thought, but my mom called, and he claims he had nothing to do with it.

Chloe: Well, it looks like your secret santa remains anonymous. They paid in cash. You know, if not Lionel, what about Luthor junior?

Clark: You mean Lex? 447920FD.JPGWhy would he send me a theater system?

Chloe: Maybe he's feeling guilty.

Clark: Guilty about what?

Chloe: I don't know. I mean, he hasn't exactly been the best friend lately,

Clark: So...

Chloe: He also has be known to try and win you over with expensive toys.

Clark: He did say he wanted to try to find some common ground. I'm gonna go talk to him.

Lois: What's the deal, Senator? Do you not like kids? Because a no-vote on Senator Kent's bill is like ripping the text books out of their sticky little fingers. Thank you, Senator. Bye, now. Yes. Official warning --I'm a third-degree black belt. That means I can't be held liable for any funeral costs.

Graham: Go easy on me. I'm a friend of Clark's.  Are you his girlfriend? 4479213B.JPG

[ Scoffs ]

Lois: Not his life. I'm Lois --Lois Lane.

Graham: Pleasure to meet you, Lois. I'm Graham. Hey. So...where's the plasma?

Lois: So you're the one who sent overall the high-tech booty. You know, I was gonna keep it, but Mr. "I can't take candy from strangers" took everything back this morning.

[ Chuckles ]

Graham: That's odd.

Lois: That's Clark Kent. Can I ask why you're playing daddy Warbucks with the guy? 'Cause in my world, friends don't give friends $20,000 toys. 44792160.JPG

[ Laughs ]

Graham: In my world, you do. Is Clark around?

Lois: No. Not at the moment. Of course, he never stays gone for too long, so... if you want to hang out, you're more than welcome.

Graham: I think I will.

Lana: I see you've stepped up your security. I had to make a pretty good case before they'd let me in.

Lex: You're not an easy person to say no to.

Lana: I couldn't wait any longer. I've been sitting by the phone. What did you find out in D.C.?

Lex: Oh, uh... a lot of plausible deniability. From the Pentagon to the White House, no one can verify the existence of Milton Fine.

Lana: He says he works in a covert branch of the government. Maybe it's more covert than we think.

Lex: If he even works there at all.

Lana: What, so those classified documents he gave you, you think they're forgeries? 447921AE.JPG

Lex: No. I had them authenticated, but that doesn't mean anything.

Lana: We have no idea who this guy really is?

Lex: No. No. Don't worry. I'll find out.

[ Chuckles ]

Lex: You know, I was only gone for a week but I actually got a little homesick.

Lana: What's so special about Smallville?

Lex: Oh, I don't know. The cows.[ Laughs ] Cornfields.Wide-open spaces.

Lana: I missed you, too.

Lex: You have no idea.  

Chloe: You tell me how a man in a secure room gets murdered under high security.

Clark: You  knew didn't you?

Chloe: No, That's why it's a riddle.

Clark: All those times that I asked you how Lana was doing and you avoided the subject like the plague. You knew about her and Lex.

Chloe: I'm sorry, Clark. But I didn't think it was my place to get involved.

Clark: You're supposed to be my friend.

Chloe: I am your friend.

Clark: You are? Then why didn't you say anything?

Chloe: Because I'm Lana's friend, too, and she asked me to keep it a secret. I thought you, of all people, would respect that.

Clark: You know how dangerous Lex is. Any friend of Lana's would never let her get involved with him!

Chloe: Look, Clark, I wasn't exactly jumping for joy either, but Lana's a big girl. Where are you going? Clark, where are you going?

Clark: Lana has no idea what she's getting herself into.

Chloe: Clark, let me remind you that you broke up with her. That means Lana can date whoever she wants, 4479236D.JPGwith or without your written permission.

Clark: I know. But I still care about her, and I don't want to stand by and watch her get hurt.

Chloe: Look, I hate to be the one to say this, but you don't have a choice.

Graham: Let me guess bad breakup? I've had a few of those.

Clark: You're the guy from the courthouse.

Graham: And you're a tough man to please. What's the problem you don't watch tv?

Clark: Wait... you sent that?

Graham: You saved my life. If it wasn't for Clark Kent, I'd be in a morgue right now with tire tracks across my forehead. It's the least I can do.

Clark: But how did you know how to find me? I never told you my name.

Graham: That press pass around your neck did, 447923B1.JPGan the fact that I'm familiar with the area led me straight here.

Clark: Oh, you're from Smallville?

Graham: Drove through last year on business. Clark, if the big-screen's not your thing, what is? There must be something I can do for you.

Clark: Your, uh your "thank you" is fine. I appreciate the gesture. You don't need to repay me.

Graham: This isn't about you, Clark. It's about me. I don't ever like to be in debt, and the fact is I owe you my life. Let me at least buy you dinner. I'm staying in Metropolis. I'll take you out on the town.

Clark: Thanks, but really, I'm okay.

Graham: You're hanging out in a barn alone in the middle of nowhere. That doesn't seem too okay to me.

Graham: Looks like the chicken finally flew the coop. 447923F0.JPGI was getting worried about you, man.

Clark: I thought we were going to dinner. What's with the party?

Graham: I made a killing the other day, and it's all thanks to Clark Kent. You thirsty? How about a mojito?

Clark: No, thanks. I-I'm good. What exactly do you do?

Graham: I'm a headhunter. I travel the world tracking people down. You know, for jobs. I'd like you to meet my date.

Clark: Lois?

Lois: Smallville.

Graham: We met at your house. I couldn't disappear without seeing her again.

Clark: Lois, could I talk to you for a second?

Lois: How about later?

Graham: It's fine. I'll be right back. 4479241A.JPG

[ Both ]

Lois: What are you doing here?

Clark: What are you doing here? Lois.

Lois: Clark, I happen to actually like this guy, so can you do me this one favor and pretend not to know me?

Clark: Lois --

Lois: No!

Clark: But --huh!

Graham: Hey, pal. You've got to check out the view from the balcony.

Clark: know, I'm not crazy about heights.

Graham: Trust me. It's worth it. Beautiful night, huh? 44792443.JPG

[ Chuckles ]

Gia: Hi I'm gia.

Clark: Hi...Gia. I'm Clark.

Gia: I know.

[ Giggles ]

Gia: A guy like you must have a girlfriend, huh?

Clark: Me? I don't.

Gia: Do you want to take a tour? I hear the view from the bedroom is even better than the balcony. 44792468.JPG

[ Chuckles ]

[ Laughs ]

Gia: What's wrong?

Clark: I don't even know you.

[ Laughs ]

Gia: That's okay. Graham warned me you might be shy.

Clark: Graham? He wants you to have a good time.

Clark: Oh, um... look, I'm sorry. I think there's a misunderstanding.

Gia: All right?

Clark: I should go. 4479248E.JPG

[ Siren wails ]

Graham: Whoa! Whoa! What happened? Where are you going?

Clark: Look, if you want to do me a favor, just consider us even. I've got to go.

Graham: Look, Clark, I apologize. I thought Gia was just what the doctor ordered, but I was wrong. You're a lot deeper than I gave you credit for. You must have really loved your ex. Then what's the problem? Let's get you two back together.

Clark: It's a little late for that.

Graham: It's never too late.

Clark: It is when she's already with someone else.

Graham: That might make it more difficult but not impossible. Who is the lucky bastard?

Clark: Someone I used to call my friend.

Graham: Well, that's not crossing the line -- that's just plain wrong.

Clark: Yeah, well, if you knew Lex Luthor, you wouldn't be surprised.

Graham: That billionaire might be with her now, 447924BF.JPGbut don't lose faith, Clark. If it's meant to be, things have a way of working out.

Clark: Well, I hope you're right.

Graham: I know I am. I'm always right.

Lex: Rest assured, Fine, we're close. The viruses are being genetically spliced as we speak. Unh! Aah!

[ Grunts ]

[ Grunts ]

Lana: Lex! Help! Help, please! Call an ambulance. Hurry! Lex. It's gonna be okay.

( Growls )

( buzzing )

( clinks ) 

 Clark: Chloe called me.  She told me what happened. How's he doing?

Lana: Luckily, his trachea didn't collapse, and the doctor sedated him for the pain.

Clark: Where's Lionel?

Lana: Lionel's on his way back from Singapore.

Clark: You're a good friend for staying here with him like this.

Lana: Someone should be with him when he wakes up.

Clark: Yeah. Of course. Do they know who did this?

Lana: I gave them a full description.

Clark: You were there when it happened?

Lana: I was returning some books, and I walked in on the attack.

Clark: Um...what does the guy look like?

Lana: Um, dark hair, dark eyes, about 6 feet tall. He was wearing a black trench coat. Clark, he seemed to vanish into thin air.

Graham: Quite a sweet tooth you've got there.

Lois: My dentist would agree. I thought you were heading out of town. 4479262E.JPG

Graham: I was, but I couldn't get a certain someone out of my mind. Someone with a beautiful smile and, apparently, a lot of cavities.

[ Laughs ]

Lois: Look, if you think I'm blushing, I'm just a little sunburnt.

Graham: Well, if you're not too busy applying the aloe vera, you want to go see Coldplay with me tonight?

Lois: Tonight? Wow. They're playing in Metropolis?

Graham: Actually, Chicago. I chartered a jet. We'll have dinner on the plane.You like Italian?

Lois: Graham, if you want to go out, you don't have to play the whole jet-setter card.

Graham: It's not a card. It's a reality. I work for large corporations that take good care of me.

Lois: Maybe I should think about getting a job in the whole corporate-head hunting business myself. Sounds like a load of fun.

Graham: It is. But it can get a little cutthroat. 4479265E.JPGSo what do you say?

Lois: Look... I love jetting off to Coldplay concerts like the next girl, but really, I'm just as happy going down to Joe's for some foggy bottom burgers.

Graham: Then, I'll tell you what -- we'll have foggy bottom burgers on the plane. Pick you up at 6:00?

[ Sighs ]

Lois: I'll be wearing my glass slippers. Afraid the party's over.

Graham: Clark, you know Lois pretty well. Is she a candy or flowers kind of girl?

Clark: You tried to kill lex. 44792697.JPG

[ Chuckles ]

Graham: Why d I do that?

Clark: You have some sick idea you'd be doing me a favor.

Graham: Well I do have to admit... if Lex was out of picture and Lana was as free as a bird...

Clark: I'm taking you to the police!

Graham: I guess I'm not the only one who's got a little secret.

Chloe: Clark, if your meteor-challenged friend tried to kill Lex to repay a favor, it's probably not the first time he's murdered someone. In fact, with his powers, he might even be the chameleon.

Clark: Who's the chameleon?

Chloe: Hitman for hire -- number 8 on the F.B.I.'S top 40 and climbing the charts. He also happens to be the prime suspect for the courthouse murder.

Clark: Which happened right after I saved Graham's life. His trademark is getting to his victims in highly secure locations. He leaves no prints, no images on surveillance cameras, and no clues. 447926D8.JPG

Chloe: Meteor power would explain a lot.

Clark: He said he'd been in smallville before.

Chloe: Well, unfortunately, there's no record of camouflage power on the digital wall of weird, and the name Graham Garrett didn't get any hits. This guy's totally off the grid.

Clark: If I hadn't pulled him out of traffic, that witness would be alive and Lex wouldn't be in the hospital. I've got to stop him.

Chloe: It's easier said than done. When you're a wanted man, invisibility comes in handy. Every law-enforcement agency from the F.B.I. To Interlope has been after him for the last year.

Clark: I'm not your typical law-enforcement agency.

44792705.JPGChloe: Clark, don't get too cocky. I mean, not only does this guy know about your powers but he could very well know about your weakness.

Clark: How would he know about the meteor rocks?

Chloe: Clark, he's the ultimate fly on the wall. And he's buzzing over to The Talon later on tonight for his date with Lois. I've got to call and warn her.

[ Creaking ]

Lois: Hello?

[ Clears throat ]

Lois: What are you doing here?

Clark: Lois, I've been calling, knocking on the door. How long have you been in there?

Lois: About an hour and a half. What? Hey, you weren't just in my bathroom, were you?

Clark: Lois, I just walked in the apartment.

Lois: I could have sworn somebody was in there watching me.

Clark: Graham.

Lois: You're blaming Graham? That's pathetic.

Clark: Lois, if you see him, you have to stay away.

Lois: 447928BF.JPGIs it that you feel the need to throw a grenade at every guy that I date?

Clark: Quiet.

[ Heart beating ]

Clark: He's here.

[ Beating intensifies ]

Woman: Hey!

Graham: It's amazing what you can learn when you're a fly on the wall. Those meteors that fell from the sky the day I drove through town -- they might hurt you, but they gave me the greatest life I could ever ask for.

Clark: You were in Smallville the day of the meteor shower?

Graham: Luckiest day of my life. You think using your power to be a hero is a rush? Nothing beats using them to kill.

Clark: I saved your life.

Graham: You should have taken the plasma. But now that my identity's in jeopardy, I have no choice. I have to get rid of you, Lex, and Lana.

Clark: No. 4479290D.JPG

Graham: They know who I was, Clark. In my line of work, you don't leave loose ends.

Clark: You'll never get away with it.

Graham: I always do.

Clark: Unh!

[ Sighs ]

<>[ Clears throat ]

Lex: Hey.

Lana: Shh! You're not supposed to talk.

Lex: I'm not supposed to do a lot of things. Did they catch the guy?

Lana: No, not yet. But they're going to. Lex, I don't understand who would want to do this to you.

Lex: Pick a number. There are a lot of people who want to see me breathe my last breath, but I'm not gonna make it easy for them. I have too much to live for. Thanks for being here. 44792953.JPGAs you can see, there's not exactly a crowd of well-wishers knocking down the door to be at my bedside.

Lana: Actually, I wasn't your only visitor. Clark stopped by earlier.

Lex: Really?

Lana: Yeah.

Lex: Well, it's too bad it takes a near-death experience to bring old friends together.

[ Clears throat ]

Lex: Did you tell him about us?

Lana: I don't owe Clark anything, Lex... especially the truth.

Lex: I know you're angry at him, but he deserves a modicum of respect.

Lana: This isn't about anger. I'll tell him when I'm ready, on my own terms.

Lex: Lana, don't let him find out from someone else first.

Chloe: Lois! Hey, where's Clark?

Lois: I have no clue. He just busted in here, warned me about Graham, and took off. 4479299B.JPG

Chloe: Do you have any idea where he went?

Lois: No, I wasn't exactly paying attention, and to be perfectly honest, I am starting to get a little tired of him thinking I need his approval just to go on a simple date. Can you please tell me why Clark Kent is so obsessed with my love life?

Chloe: Lois... Graham's a killer... a professional hitman.

Lois: Of course, he is.

Chloe: We need to find Clark. Clark! Clark!

Lois: The waitress said he ran out. He couldn't have gotten far.

Chloe: You'd be surprised.

Lois: Hey, Smallville! 447929C3.JPG

[ Telephone ring distance ]

Chloe: Clark? Clark?

[ Ringing continues ]

Lois: Smallville! Oh, my god. Oh, my god. Oh, my god. Clark! Clark!

[ Grunting ]

Chloe: Move over. Come on, Clark! Wake up! Clark, wake up!

Clark: He's going after Lex and Lana.


[ Door unlocks]

Lana: Is everything okay?

[ Sighs ]

Lex: Yeah. Yeah, I just thought you were somebody else.

Lana: It's just me... bringing you a little comfort.

[ Paper tearing ]

Lana: I thought that you'd prefer these to the uncomfortable hospital garb.

Lex: They're perfect. 

[ Bones crack ]

Lex: Ugh!

[ Door opens ]

Lana: Lex?

Lex: Lana.

Lana: What's happening?

Lex: Get behind me.

[ Screams ]

Lex: Aah! Lana, run! Run! Go! Get down!

Lana: You saved my life.

( Clanking )

( screams )

( burps ) 

 Lois: Morning, Senator. Good news have Senator Rickman's vote.

Martha: Great, Lois. So you?

Lois: Me I'm fine getting swept off feet by notorious hitman just my way of living la vida loca. There's way have known truth  Maybe, confirm disturbing trend in life. As much as I'd like to deny it, I seem to be a magnet for guys who end upon "America's Most Wanted."

Martha: Oh, I don't believe that.

Lois: Trust me, you don't want to see the rap sheets.44792B6E.JPG

[ Sighs ]

Lois: Why can't I just meet a decent guy from a decent family who happens not to be a psycho path?

Martha: Oh, Lois.

[ Sighs ]

Martha: You know... when I was your age, I wasn't dating pr44792B97.JPGince charmings either.

Lois: Really?

Martha: Yeah. 

[ Chuckles ]

Martha: I wanted to attacted the dark, mysterious type, too, until I met Jonathan.

Lois: See, what worries me is that when my Jonathan finally does come around, I'll be looking the other44792BDA.JPG way, and I'll miss him completely.

Martha: Well, you have to keep a closer watch. You know, I think we go through these bad relationships for a reason.

Lois: Well, if there's a good reason for all the pain and aggravation, I'm dying to know.

Martha: Maybe you have to get through all the wrong men so you can recognize the right one. 

[ Chuckles ]

Clark: Congratulations on your first front-page by-line.

Chloe: Yeah, you deserve all the credit.

Clark: Or the blame. If 44792B97.JPGsaving strangers ends up getting other people killed, I'm not sure that's the business I want to be in.

Chloe: Do you really have a choice? I'm no where near super, but if I see someone drowning, I'm Clark: And what if that person's a killer, Chloe? What if the world would actually be better off without them?

Chloe: Still, that's not your choice to make. I mean, ask a doctor or a firefighter or anyone in the hero business. You save first, and you ask questions later.

Clark: Yeah, I guess you're right. It's just not always that easy.

Chloe: Especially when the person you're saving is Lex Luthor.

Clark: I should never have questioned your friendship.

Chloe: You were angry. And I understand. I mean, it's not exactly a walk in the park

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Updated 2/19/06  


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