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First aired November
Proofread by Deanna
Announcer: Here's the
kickoff! The winner of today's game will move onto the state championship one
week from today.
Quigley: Get in there.
Jason: Play your game, buddy.
Announcer: A victory today will send the Crows to
the state championship. Remember to stop by The Talon tonight after the game.
Chloe: So...are you the guy?
Mikhail: Well, I guess that depends on what you're looking for.
Chloe: Uh...Mikhail... Mxyzpt... Mxyzptlk.
Mikhail: Mix-il-pitilik. Let me guess. You want to buy a vowel.
I just would like to put $80 on the game.
Mikhail: The game has started already. Well,
sorry, I can't take bet after kickoff. Oh. Rookie, huh? Well, maybe in your
case, I'll make an exception.
Chloe: Thanks. Can you, uh, put me down for Smallville to
Mikhail: You sure about that? I have a funny feeling about the quarterback today.
Chloe: Yeah, well, as much as I hate to admit it, I never bet against Clark Kent.
well, suit yourself. Don't say I didn't warn you. Rule number one: A bet is a
Announcer: Here we go. 10 seconds left in the 4th quarter.
It's 4th and 1. If the Crows don't score here, their season is over. Clark Kent
brings the Crows to the line.
Clark: All right, guys, here we go!
linebacker Marshall Horton leads the Blues with 17 solo tackles.
Clark: Blue 72! Blue 72!
Announcer: And a fumble on the Crows. The ball's picked up by Clark Kent. He's
Announcer: Touchdown, Clark Kent! And the Crows win the game! What a
victory! Unbelievable! Smallville now takes on the Topeka Valley Huskies in the
championship game one week from today!
[ Groaning ]
Clark: Is he okay?
Jason: His collarbone's broke in two places. I can't figure out how you
could pummel a guy that out weighs you by 100 pounds and shatter his collarbone.
Clark: I'm sorry. It must've been an accident. I mean, I got a surge of adrenaline.
Jason: Adrenaline doesn't explain the ct that you went from chucking bales
of hay to chucking 60-yard passes overnight.
Clark: I guess I'm a fast learner. I mean,
you said yourself I was a natural.
Jason: Yeah, a natural who adamantly refused to see
a doctor after he collapsed a couple weeks ago.
Clark: What are you trying to say?
Jason: Coach Quigley thinks you're on
some kind of performance-enhancing drug.
Clark: Like steroids? What do
Jason: Well, I put myself on the line and said there's no way that Clark Kent would
do something like that.
Clark: I'm not on drugs.
Jason: I hope not. Because if it comes out
that you're not on the same playing field as these guys, let's just say it's
gonna be pretty disappointing to have to forfeit an entire championship season.
And a college career.
Lex: I can't imagine what it must've been like to grow up in a
Mikhail: Obviously, I mean, I guess this is as far as you can get from scavenging the streets, but growing up
hand-to-mouth, uh, does tend to make you resourceful.
Lex: Resourceful enough to
get the attention of my father's LuthorCorp foreign-exchange scholarship. So,
how do you like Smallville High?
Mikhail: I think it is the perfect place for me to make my American
dream. There are many opportunities, and the girls are pretty.
Lex: Well, I
hope the classes aren't too difficult for you. I reviewed your application and
must say I was surprised by your poor test scores and grades. Look, Mikhail, I'm
just curious why my father would award a scholarship, historically
earmarked for future Nobel prize winners, to a perennial "C" student.
Mikhail: You want to
send me back?
Lex: No. I'd just like to know what you're really doing here. What
potential did my father see in you, Mikhail?
[ Whispers ]
Mikhail: Cut. Potential you do not see on a report card, Mr. Luthor.
Chloe: Oh, hey. I didn't realize bookies made house calls, especially after hours.
I guess I just walked right into the lion's mouth, hmm?
Chloe: What are you talking
Mikhail: Well, you know, you're a first-timer. And you show up at the end of the
season. I have some questions. And I don't think it is coincidence you are also Smallville's most notorious whistle-blower.
Chloe: Notorious, huh? I
like the sound of that.
Mikhail: So, uh, this bet was just research for the article?
page, if you play your cards right.
Mikhail: Well, I don't suppose that being a local
celebrity is going to be good for business.
Chloe: I think maybe you should, uh, change
Mikhail: You just found my Achilles' heel.
Chloe: What, greed?
Mikhail: No, uh, pretty
girls with infectious smiles.
Chloe: I'm still writing the article.
Mikhail: If you don't even
know when to place a bet, I don't think you have the inside scoop you're looking
for. Promise not to mention my name, and I'll let you shadow me. I'll be
your personal escort through the seedier parts of Smallville.
Chloe: If I cut you a
break, I expect a full, behind-the-scenes tour. Of course. And the
first stop is the winner's circle.
Mikhail: So, what are you going to do with the
Chloe: Uh, text books.
Mikhail: Ooh, don't go too crazy, huh?
Chloe: Well, my dad's on
unemployment, so my college fund sort of took a massive hit this year.
Mikhail: How would
you like to make enough money to pay for an entire semester's tuition before you
wake up tomorrow morning? I have to go to the Sharks game in Metropolis tonight.
Sharks, 8 to 1. Chloe, if you want the big article, you have to get inside the
mind of a gambler. You have to be ready to raise the stakes. That is, uh, if you
Chloe: Count me in.
Jonathan: There's more to life than championships, Clark.
Clark: I bet it's easier to say that when you have one. Dad, when
I put on that uniform, it's like I forget who I am, but at the same time, I've
never known myself better. It's more than just a game.
Jonathan: Clark, I allowed you to
join the football team because I thought you understood your responsibility not
to let anybody get hurt out there.
Clark: And I accepted that responsibility because I
know I can control my abilities.
Jonathan: Then why don't you explain to me why there's a
kid lying in a hospital bed right now?
Clark: Have you ever seen me trip? Ever?
Something happened out on that field. It was like I couldn't control my own legs.
Jonathan: Just because you are strong does not mean you can't get rattled out there just
like anybody else. I'm sorry, but the last place you need to be right now is out
on that football field, and you know it. Coach Quigley's likely to beat the
victory party tonight. I'll give him a call, and I'll be the bad guy.
Clark: No, dad. Like
you said, it's my responsibility.
I can't believe she bought it
she got too close, and she caught it
had a point but she forgot it
Clark: Hey, coach, can I talk to you for a second?
Jason: What's up?
Guy: Kent, Kent! Oh, huge save today! Oh, man, what a play! You put us in
Clark: No, the team put us in the championship.
Guy: I can see the ring on
my finger already.
Guy 2: I can see the scholarships already.
Guy: Oh, yeah! Whoo!
Cheerleader: Hey, Clark, you're here. Ta-da!
Guy: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Coach! Players:
Players: Coach! Coach! Coach!
Quigley: All right, okay! All right, all right. Topeka West may have three titles under its belt, but I
know we have a real shot at the championship. And this year, we got it all! An
impenetrable defense, an aggressive offense, and a golden arm! Let's go take the
[ Chanting ]
Players: Crows! Crows! Crows!
Mikhail: I like the new textbooks.
Chloe: Hi. Don't worry. I just took10% off the top for fun. The rest of my winnings are
tucked safely away for college tuition.
Mikhail: Well, I'm glad that my tip paid off for
Chloe: Are you kidding me? The game was awesome. I haven't had that much fun on a
couch since Johnny Rosenblatt in fifth grade. I mean, all of those painted beer
bellies and foam hands suddenly make sense when you have something riding on the
Mikhail: Well, see, why would you want to go and spoil all the fun by writing that
Chloe: Because it just keeps getting juicier by the minute.
Mikhail: Are you sure about that?
Chloe: What, are you gonna do something to
change my mind? Nice try. You're very cute, but I already gave you anonymity, and
it's going to press tonight.
Mikhail: But you're only just starting to scratch the surface,
and I can give you so much more dirt.
Chloe: You're just trying to stall the article,
Mikhail: I don't think you understand me, Chloe. I always get what I want.
looks, apparently, because your charm just ran out.
Mikhail: Stop. Kiss me. This is
me asking you nicely. Now, you're going to drop that article, whether you want
to or not.
Martha: I've never seen you miss before. I've also never seen you shrink away from
responsibility, no matter how difficult.
Clark: You saw the look on those guys' faces. I
couldn't let 'em down. I just thought I could find a way to play like everyone
Martha: Clark? Open your hand. What are you doing? You know how
dangerous kryptonite is.
Clark: Well, I always get better after it's gone. And so what if I'm playing sick? Other guys play injured.
And if dad knows I don't have my abilities and I can't hurt anyone.
Martha: You are not
taking meteor rocks out on that field. I know this is hard. You can't make
Clark: And I can't quit, either.
Martha: Clark, the answer is no. You asked your
father if we'd ever seen you trip before. Never. Not without kryptonite. I was so
excited to see you get a chance to be like everyone else that I guess I forgot for
a moment that you aren't. I-I didn't think anything of it when you tripped, but
you've never had mishaps like other kids. Something happened to you out there, and
if you really want to play in the game on Saturday, you need to find out what it
Chloe: It's all right, Clark. You can stay.
Clark: I thought you had some
self-imposed restraining order against me. Does this mean you're talking to me again?
Chloe: No, this just
means that I'm willing to take a chance on getting your Dr. Jekyll side today.
What's up with the self-flogging?
Clark: I'm watching the sports editor's tape of the
game, trying to figure out what happened, but... it's like I had no control, like
my mind was sending one message, but.
Chloe: But your body was getting another.
Chloe: It's Mikhail.
Clark: The foreign exchange kid? Mx-- uh...
Chloe: Mxyzptlk. Say that three times
fast. He's our new resident puppet master. This is kind of embarrassing, but he
made me kiss him.
Clark: Made you.
Chloe: Yeah. It was just like how you explained your trip.
It was like someone else was controlling me.
Clark: Okay, but why would he want me to throw the game?
Chloe: Clark, he
is the biggest bookie in the school.
Clark: The power to control the odds.
Chloe: Let me do a
search on his name. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that "Mxyzptlk"
didn't bring anything up.
Clark: What's that?
Chloe: It's Mikhail's name backwards.
Clark: It looks
like a nursery rhyme gone bad.
Chloe: Yeah, it's some legend from the Piatore region in
the Balkans. That's near where Mikhail's from.
Clark: It says the region has
been terrorized for centuries by a bloodline of people who have -- who can
control the hand of luck.
Chloe: That's not exactly luck if they're controlling people.
What does it say about the backwards name?
Clark: The family changed their name a century
ago and fled the area to escape the stigma after a village mysteriously burned to
Chloe: Looks like Mikhail's still running from his heritage. It doesn't exactly say how o stop the kissing bandit, does
it? Oh, here. According to the legend, the only thing that stopped them was a
plague of locusts.
Clark: There may be one other force they didn't count on. Think about
it. Who brought him here in the first place?
Lex: You want me to deport a LuthorCorp
exchange student? Gambling on Crows games isn't a sanctioned extracurricular. I'm
surprised you care so much about some half-rate bookie. Or is there something else
about Mikhail you're not telling me?
Clark: Lex, you sponsored him. I just thought you
might want to do something about it.
Lex: Of course I'll look into it. But I'm
surprised you didn't go to the principal first or Coach Teague, but then I can see
how that could be more complicated than it sounds.
Clark: Why would it be more
Lex: Come on, I can't be the only one who's picked up on Lana's
fondness for quarterbacks. Even retired ones.
Clark: Yeah, to be honest, it has been hard to
see her with someone else.
Lex: Don't worry. Paris can have a magical effect on people,
but the enchantment has a funny way of waning the longer you're gone.
Clark: I know Lana. And she's never been this serious about anyone.
Lex: You sound awfully
concerned about that for someone who let her walk out of his life.
Clark: Yeah, I
guess the whole "If you love them, set them free" thing kind of backfired.
Lex: It's not about love, Clark. It's about what you're willing
to do for it. On that field, you'll do whatever it takes to
win. But if you're not willing to do the same for Lana, maybe she
doesn't mean as much to you as you think.
Lana: Clark on steroids. It's
a little hard to picture.
Jason: It happens to a lot of guys. You want so badly to out perform everyone. Before you know
it, all you care about is winning, no matter what the cost.
Lana: You're not
responsible for Clark.
Jason: Actually, I am. Coach Quigley asked me to give him a drug
test, and I never mentioned it to Clark. So I lied and said it came back clean.
Lana: Why would you do that?
Jason: I don't know. Because I believe in Clark. And because he
knows about us. I didn't want to stir the waters. If he wanted to get back at me,
all he's gotta do is tell somebody at the school and I lose my job.
wouldn't make it personal.
Jason: Why not? I mean, I can't imagine what I would do if
someone tried to take you away from me.
Lana: Nobody took me away from Clark. I left.
Lana: Clark's a big part of the reason why I took off for Paris in
the first place.
Jason: Oh. Well, that must be from the book of things you never want to
hear about your girlfriend's ex.
Lana: Look, Jason, I'm with you now, and I couldn't be
happier. And I know, I know, Clark can be unpredictable, but he knows that you
need this job to stay in college.
Jason: I know it's hard because you've been so close to
him. But are you sure you really know him?
Lex: Don't get me wrong, Mikhail. I
appreciate your entrepreneurial ingenuity, but importing bookies tends to reflect
poorly on a company.
Mikhail: These are just fun games.
Lex: The I.N.S. Isn't exactly renowned
for their good sportsmanship. They're revoking your student visa and sending you
Mikhail: But a man like you can pull strings to keep me here, yes?
Lex: If I wanted
to. But whatever talents my father saw in you, they're not worth the embarrassment you bring to me and my
company. I've made the arrangements. You'll be halfway over the Atlantic by
Mikhail: You don't really want that. You want to know why your dad brought me
Lex: Not that badly.
Mikhail: What if we make a wager?
Lex: Now, why would I take a bet when
I can just have you thrown out of here?
Mikhail: Because I know gamblers better than
anybody. You're the caviar kind. See, when you hold everything in your hand, the
only thing that can give you a thrill is putting your chips on the one thing that
can slip through your fingers.
Lex: And, uh...what would that one thing be, Mikhail?
Mikhail: Well, in this case, me. How much do you believe in this quarterback friend of
yours Clark Kent?
Lex: The championship game? What's the wager?
Mikhail: If the Crows
lose, you arrange citizenship for me and $1 million to start new again.
Lex: And if the Crows win, I have a hard time believing you can cover that bet.
Mikhail: I can't. But the
reason your father brought me here was far more valuable than just money.
look, a real, live American football superhero.
Clark: What are you doing here?
Mikhail: I came
here to thank you for ratting me out to Lex. It wasn't hard to figure out. I knew
Chloe would squeal, just not to him. She's too proud. You seem to be the common
denominator, so you forget games are my business, so if you don't know the
players, you cannot guess the outcome.
Clark: I thought you'd be halfway back to the Village of the Damned
Mikhail: I'm not cursed, Clark. I am lucky. And on Saturday at the championship
game, I'm going to be very lucky.
Clark: You think I'm going to throw that game for you?
Mikhail: If? When there is "if," there are odds. And I always beat the odds. Choke.
[ Coughing ]
Mikhail: For example, the odds in the championship are based on your
playing. If you don't go out on the field, then my profit margin takes an
unfortunate turn. That is why you're not going to tell anyone else about me, and
you are going to be on that field... unless you want to see more of your buddies
in the hospital. Breathe.
[ Gasps ]
Jason: Clark, warm-up in 15 minutes.
Clark: I sure hope you had better
luck with the locusts than I did with Lex.
Chloe: The last time I checked, they weren't
selling biblical plagues on Amazon, but since every legend is born in the seed of
truth, I did look up our favorite apocalyptic critters.
Clark: Besides eating crops in a
single bound, what else can they do?
Chloe: Well, when locusts swarm, they emit an
energy wave to avoid crashing into each other. Maybe Mikhail's
commands operate on a similar frequency, you know, like a radio signal.
Clark: Or a dog
whistle. The sound travels, but the human ear doesn't pick it up.
Chloe: Yeah, now,
what's interesting is that once locusts' signals are jammed, they can't fly
anymore without running into each other. It's permanent.
Clark: Well, maybe all we have
to do is find something that will jam Mikhail's frequency for good.
Chloe: And I think I
know just where to find that. So now we just have to find him.
Clark: Well, in his
quest for the great American dream, he's got a lot of bets riding on this game.
He'll be here.
Clark: I gotta go.
Chloe: Good luck.
Announcer: Greetings, football fans,
and welcome to the championship game between the Topeka Valley Huskies and your Smallville Crows!
I walk a lonely
the only one that I have ever known
don't know where it goes
but it's only me, and I walk alone
I walk this empty street
on the boulevard of broken dreams
where the city sleeps
and I'm the only one, and I walk alone
I walk alone, I walk alone
I walk alone, I walk
my shadow's the only one
that walks de me
my shadow heart's the only thing that's beating sometimes.
Quigley: All right, let's go! All right, let's go, let's go! Come on! Come
Jonathan: Clark! What are you doing?
Clark: You know what Mikhail said. He'd hurt those guys if
I wasn't out there.
Jonathan: A bunch of 250-pound guys banging into each other on a
football field is one thing. But getting hit by you is like getting run over by a
freight train. It's a big difference, son.
Clark: I hope that doesn't happen. I think
Chloe and I found a way to stop Mikhail.
Jonathan: Chloe and you think you found a way to
stop him? Well, I'm sorry, son. Thinking is not good enough.
Clark: Dad, I know you don't
agree with me. But sometimes, taking responsibility means having faith in
yourself to make the hard choices.
Jonathan: And it also means being willing to accept the
Clark: Every handshake, every hug, every time I'm out on that
field, I make a conscious decision to fall when those guys hit me so they don't
get hurt. No matter how hard you try, you can't understand that. That's why it's
my decision, not yours.
Jonathan: You're starting to sound more and more like your father.
hope so, dad.
Announcer: Now taking the field, your Smallville Crows! Today's Crows
captains are seniors Cameron Jiff, Jay Crozer, Austin Pond, and Clark
Kent! The Crows are undefeated in 13 contests this season. They are led
by third-year coach Blaine Quigley! We'd like to thank today's sponsors
the Smallville Ledger, LuthorCorp, P.B. Davenport's Auto Body Shop, and
Old Spice Red Zone.
Announcer: First down, Smallville!
[ Low-frequency e ]
[ Whistle blows ]
Clark: Iowa 80! Iowa 80!Set! Hut! Hut!
[ Low-frequency noise ]
Man: All right, let's go! Let's go! Come on, come on!
[ Low-frequency noise ]
Clark: Iowa 80! Iowa 80! Set! Hut!
[ Low-frequency noise ]
When I was young I was invincible
I find myself now thinking twice
I never thought about no future
Its just a roll of the dice
But the day may come
When you've got something to lose
and just when you think you're done paying dues
and you say to yourself, "Dear god, what have I done?"
And hope it's not too late
'cause tomorrow may never come
reach for the sky
'cause tomorrow may never come
reach for the sky
'cause tomorrow may never come
[ Low-frequency noise ]
Mikhail: Fancy toy. Stop.
Chloe: Looks like someone's been broken.
Kinda sucks when you have to play fair, doesn't it?
Mikhail: Yes, well, in my country, you
do not survive if you cannot adapt to the unexpected.
Tomorrow may never come.
Announcer: Joe Piszarchek lines up behind center.
There's the snap. There's a fumble on the play! The Crows regain possession! The Crows immediately call their last time-out.
Clark: What are you doing here?
Mikhail: Here's how the last play in my game works. If the Crows
score another touchdown, Chloe's dead. If you don't go back out on the
field right now and lose the game, Chloe's dead.
Jason: Kent, let's go. We're gonna do an ace back Montana post. This is
it. This is for the title.
Announcer: The crows have it 1st and 10on the
50-yard line. Five seconds remaining on the clock. Smallville will have time for
one more play. The season all comes down to this.
Clark: Blue 32! Blue 32! Set!
Announcer: Touchdown! The Crows win! Can you believe that pass?! Clark Kent
makes another unbelievable play!
Player: Yeah!!! Come on, man! We're missing the party! Ow! Whoo!
Clark: Yeah!!! Whoo!!
Announcer: It's been an unbelievable year. Look at the well-deserved celebration
in the end zone! Congratulations to the Crows on an undefeated season!
Jonathan: Oh, looks like championship quarterbacks no
longer have a curfew, huh?
Jonathan: Clark. Your mother and I know that Mikhail was arrested. Now, when
I was out on that same field, all I had to worry about was completing the next
pass or whether or not I was gonna get sacked. But we're very proud of you.
everything. Hey, you, come on. Good night.
Jonathan: Good night.
Chloe: I don't
know what it is with you, but no matter how many times I put you in the penalty
box, it never sticks. I hear your quite the hero tonight, Clark Kent.
Clark: Yeah, well, if
it wasn't for you, we wouldn't have won the game.
Chloe: Well, you can thank Uncle Sam for that. My Uncle Sam. It's amazing the access a three-star general has to
cool toys. And you never know when a jamming device for stealth fighters will
come in handy at a football game.
Clark: Because of that jamming device, Mikhail
can't control anyone anymore.
Chloe: Awesome. But what I don't understand is how I
miraculously came untied.
Clark: And what I don't understand is how you get sucked into
anything besides anonymous tips.
Chloe: Well, we all have our weaknesses, I guess. Except for you, of course.
Lex: I think you'll find your new accommodations a lot more
comfortable than at county lockup.
Mikhail: And, uh, where are you taking me?
Lex: Don't worry.
You're gonna have a lot of company.
Mikhail: I'm not worried. I have the feeling I can learn a lot from
you, but I'm just sorry we can't make good on our agreement.
Lex: You underestimate
the value of my winnings.
Mikhail: I told you, Mr. Luthor, I've lost my talent.
Lex: Mikhail, if
there's one thing I've learned, it's that anything lost can be found again.
Mikhail: If you
knew I had a special talent, then why did you bet against me?
Lex: I didn't. I bet on Clark Kent. Like I said you're not alone.
Clark: Lana, hey, where's Jason? I've been
looking for him. I actually left him three messages.
Lana: Yeah, I know.
Clark: Well, I
thought he'd want to know that Metropolis University offered me a scholarship.
Lana: That's great, Clark.
Clark: One of the scouts he called saw me in the game. I wanted to
thank him for trusting me.
Lana: Well, it's too bad that you couldn't return the favor.
Jason was fired this morning.
Lex: It's good to know the local football star still has
time for his friends.
Clark: I wouldn't put it like that.
Lex: Wild guess. You're not
talking about the football star part.
Clark: Maybe I wasn't clear. But what you and I
talk about is supposed to stay between us.
Lex: I see. So today I'm taking the role of
the despicable, untrustworthy friend, and as usual, our hero is making the fatal
flaw of jumping to conclusions.
Clark: So you're gonna tell me you weren't the one who
got Jason fired?
Lex: A teacher-student liaison is a taboo that's pretty hard to come
Clark: Oh, you're gonna take the moral high ground on this.
Lex: Clark, I'd hate
to see Lana's infatuation earn her a scarlet letter around town.
Clark: Well, she has you to thank for that, because you and I
were the only two who knew about. Now everybody's talking. You didn't do this to
Lex: You know Lana isn't meant to be with Jason.
Clark: Maybe a year ago, I
would've believed that you got him fired out of some twisted loyalty from being my
friend. But you didn't do this for me. Why did you do it?
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