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Smallville Transcripts


First aired March 2, 2005

Lucy, played by Peyton List

Provided by Suzanne
Proofread by Deanna

 453D67D8.JPG[ Cell phone playing reveille ]

Lois: Who the hell calls at 3 A.M.? This had better be good.

Lucy: Lo, it's me! 453D67A6.JPG

Lois: Lucy? Where are you?

Lucy: Good news, big sis.  I'm coming to see you the day after tomorrow.  Don't worry about the airport. I'll grab a shuttle.

Lois: Lucy, wait.

Lucy: Can't wait to see you. Bye! 

Lois: Hope you guys are hungry because there are plenty more where these came from.

Jonathan: Lois, you really didn't have to, do all this.

Martha: At least let me help. Um, I should make some eggs.

Lois: Oh, no, no, Mrs. Kent.  You just sit down and relax.  Look, here I am, using your home as my own personal motel 6. 453D690E.JPGIt's really the least I can do.

Clark: Yeah, well, I'm not that hungry, so I'm gonna have some O.J.

Lois: Come on, breakfast is the most important meal of the day.  Bacon? Okay, so I'm never gonna make it to the Cordon Bleu, but I thought it would be less of a disaster than helping out on the farm. Maybe ironing.

Clark: Lois, what's going on?

Lois: What do you mean?

Clark: You made us breakfast, you're offering to do the chores... you want something.

Lois: No. It's called being nice.

Clark: Yeah, well, if you were 453D6939.JPGany nicer, we'd starve.

Martha: Clark...

Lois: He's right, Mrs. Kent. Look... um... See, you guys have been so good to me already,  it's kind of hard to ask for yet another favor, so... but, um, I --

Lucy: Lo? Anybody home?  [To Shelby] Hi, sweetie.  What's your name?

Lois: Hi.

Lucy: I'm so happy to see you.

Lois: Um... meet my sister lucy. She was kinda hoping maybe she could crash here for a couple days.

Lucy: I know it's last-minute, but I had this school break, 453D696F.JPGand I'm willing to sleep in the barn.

Clark: No, that's okay. Lois can sleep in the barn.

Jonathan: Nobody has to sleep out there.

Martha: We'd love to have you, Lucy. Um, you can stay in Lois's room.

Jonathan: We'll, uh, we'll go up and get your things set up.

Clark: So, Lucy, Lois has told us absolutely nothing about you.

Lucy: Well, there's not much to tell.

Lois: Oh, please, let me gloat. She is getting straight A's at one of the most prestigious prep schools in europe. She is fluent 453D6992.JPGin three language, and she is fending off ivy league colleges with a stick.

Clark: Wow, that's impressive. What happened to Lois?

Lois: You're gonna find that clark's charm is an acquired taste, much like his sense of fashion.

Lucy: Well, thanks for letting me stay. I don't know how I'm going to repay you.

Clark: Well, just tell me plenty of embarrassing stories about Lois. 453D69B0.JPG

Lois: Funny guy.

Lucy: Well, I'm just gonna go wash four time zones' worth of airport connections.

Lois: Lucy? Are you sure everything's okay?

Lucy: Now that I'm here with you, it's perfect.

Jason: You know, you cheated on that last stretch, young lady. I had you beat.

Lana: Well, I only offered you a kiss. Didn't think you'd actually fall for it. Oh, my god.

Jason: Hold on. Is anything missing?

Lana: I don't know. My jewelry is still here. My wallet's right where I left it.

Jason: Okay, well, if nothing valuable is missing, then...

Lana: The stone. 453D69F6.JPG

Jason: Who else could've known it was here?

Lana: I don't know.

Jason: Well, no one saw me take it in china.

Lana: Maybe, uh, maybe Lex or Lionel figured it out.

Jason: Or Clark.  I mean, you always said there was a side of him that you never really knew.

Lana: I don't care who did this, Jason. I don't care about these stones. I just want to forget they ever existed.

Jason: Lana, this isn't some bad dream that you can just blink away. This is real life.  We have to find that stone.

Lana: No, we don't.  Jason, our relationship has become more about chasing artifacts than it is about you and me. And that isn't a relationship. Remember when our biggest problem was trying to find a place to steal a kiss?

Jason: Yeah, usually you preferred under the bleachers. 453D6A48.JPG

Lana: Well, there is no reason why we can't go back to those days, without worrying about break-ins and artifacts and the Luthors.  And Clark Kent.

Jason: You're right. Then whoever took the stone, they can just keep it. And, uh, and we'll just concentrate on the only thing that really matters. Us.

Lucy: I hope you're thirsty.

Clark: What are you doing?

Lucy: Oh, I figured I would help out and get the morning milk. I spent last spring break on my friend's farm in the Swiss country side.

Clark: Well, you didn't really have to do that.

Lucy: I figured if I'm gonna stay, I have to pull my own weight.

Clark: Hey, uh, Lois, did you.  Did you hear that?

Lois: I'm sorry, did you say something? Go get changed.  I'm going to work.

Clark: Since when did you work?

Lois: Since today.  I'm helping your mom out at the Talon. 453D6A96.JPG So Chloe is going to be your official Smallville tour guide, not that there's much to see.

Lucy: Oh, I don't know.  So far it looks pretty good.

Lois: Don't let all that flirting go to your head.  She goes to an all-girls school.  You're probably the first guy she's talked to in a couple months.

Clark: Lois, I don't want you to get the wrong idea, but ever since Lucy came to town, you've been grumpier than normal.  Are you not happy to see your sister?

Lois: Of course I am.  Look, there's a thing with sisters. You can love them without really liking them.

Clark: You don't like your own sister?

Lois: More like she's not very crazy about me, not that I blame her.

Clark: Yeah, well, look, you might be a little rough around the edges, but as far as sisters go, Lucy could do a lot worse.

Lois: Um...thanks for the ringing endorsement. 453D6ACA.JPGWhen my mother died, my dad had two girls he didn't know how to deal with, so he did what every good military leader would do -- he instituted a chain of command, and I reported to him...

Clark: And Lucy reported to you.

Lois: Yeah. It takes sibling rivalry to a whole new level. I had to make sure she had three square meals, got to school, did her homework...

Clark: You became her mother.

Lois: Yeah, except I was, not prepared. I used to give her advice like, uh, you know, don't kiss a boy, or you're gonna get pregnant. And, yeah, maybe she had a few more chores than most kids.

Clark: Is that why she decided to go to boarding school?

Lois: Oh, unlike your family, there was no discussion. When the General gives an order, you're expected to carry it out. 453D6B00.JPG

Clark: Whoa, sounds kind of harsh.

Lois: Trust me, Lucy got the better end of the deal.  I mean, don't get me wrong, she totally deserves it.  But I guess there was just a part of me that was always jealous she got out and I didn't. I gotta go to work. I hear your mother is a slave driver.

Woman: I need a half-caf soy latte, no foam, no whip, and a blueberry muffin top, hold the stem.

Lois: Whatever happened to regular old black coffee?

Lex: Two Lanes under one roof.  That's gotta be interesting.

Clark: Well, I haven't had a hot shower in two days.  And the laundry machine is running nonstop.  The phone line is consistently busy... no, it's nice having them around. It kind of takes the loneliness out of the house.

Lex: Yeah, I always hated the sound of a quiet home.

Chloe: Whoa! Is that Lois with a tray? Hey, cuz.

Clark: 453D6B3F.JPGYes, it is. It's kind like a free floor show.  Have you two been catching up?

Chloe: Um, yeah, Lucy's just filling me in on all her hidden talents.  She was a violinist for the Zurich Youth Orchestra.

Lucy: It was nothing.  It's just a hobby.

Lex: Given their reputation in europe, I highly doubt that.

Clark: Sorry, lucy, this is...

Lucy: Lex Luthor.  I read your profile in Fortune magazine a couple months ago.  I thought your theories on the future of American business were very interesting.

Lex: Well, I'd be curious to hear what you think of my piano skills.  Drop by the mansion.  I'd love to play with a serious musician. 453D6B6A.JPG

[ Clatter ]

Lois: Ah, crap!

Chloe: I'm gonna go help her out.

Clark: Lucy, who's that guy staring at you back there?

<>Jason: Luthor, where is it?

Lionel: Well, perhaps you can tell me what it is you want.

Jason: You know exactly what it is I want. You gave me that map because you knew I'd end up in China, and you knew I'd find that stone. It was all one big calculated ploy, wasn't it?

Lionel: If I had the foresight which you attribute to me, I wouldn't need any ancient artifacts to help me.

Jason: If you've got any kind of foresight, you will let me know where that tone is right now.  Otherwise, this is gonna get very ugly.

Lionel: Oh, so now, in addition to hurling accusations, you decide to threaten me?

Jason: You break into her apartment, you go through her private things.

Lionel: I assure you, breaking and entering is not my style.  Your lost treasure isn't here, mr. Teague.  You'll have to look somewhere else. Good day. 453D6C80.JPG

Jason: I'm not going anywhere, Luthor, until you give me that stone, or you convince me that you didn't take it.

Lionel: You storm in here, you accuse me of some ham-fisted home invasion. Why are you doing this? Is it an act? An elaborate diversion.

Jason: Don't turn this around on me!

Lionel: I think we both know there's nothing stronger than the love between mother and son.  And I'm sure Miss Lang agrees.

[ Thunk ]

Clark: I knew you had talents, but I didn't think burglary was one of them.

Lucy: I swear, I was gonna pay it all back.  I'm not some criminal.

Clark: You do a pretty good job of impersonating one.  Look, Lucy, I just don't get it.  I mean, why?

Lucy: Do you have any idea what it's like to be different from everyone else, to be a total outsider? 453D6D20.JPG

Clark: I might have an idea.

Lucy: At my school, I'm surrounded by the wealthiest kids in the world.  So unless I want to be the school's outcast, I had to be like them, look like them.

Clark: Well, I'm sure it's a very expensive undertaking. But do you really have to resort to petty theft in order to fit in?

Lucy: Well, I tried using my credit cards, but they maxed out.  So I went to this club owner who's known for lending money to the credit-impaired.

Clark: You went to a loan shark?

Lucy: Well, it's called something else in German, but yeah, that's the idea.

Clark: Wait, so that's the guy who was here the other day, staring at you.  All right, look, how much do you owe?

Lucy: 50,000 U.S. Dollars.  But most of it is just bogus interest. 453D6D50.JPG

Clark: Lucy, we've got to tell your father about this.

Lucy: No, I can't.  The general's convinced I'm the embodiment of the perfect daughter.

Clark: Well, at least we have to tell Lois.

Lucy: I don't want to disappoint her.

Clark: She's your sister.  She'll understand.

Lucy: Not everyone has a family like yours, Clark.  Please don't tell her.  I think the best thing for me to do is to just, disappear for a while.

Clark: Lucy, wait.  If you're in some sort of trouble, the best thing to do is just stay here and keep a low profile.  Maybe there's something I can do to help.

Chloe: His name is Marcus Becker.  He's a bouncer at a club called Kronos in Zurich with a résumé chock full of felonies. Apparently, this club is a kind of a front for the kind of people that you don't want to owe money to.

Clark: I wish she'd just tell Lois.

Lois: She doesn't have to. I knew her hop, skip, and a jump over the atlantic wasn't because she missed her453D6E96.JPG big sister, and if this guy is bothering Lucy, then I'm gonna find him. We're gonna have a little talk.

Chloe: Lois, before you go all lifetime heroine, remember that this is not the school bully she's dealing with.

Clark: Seriously, she is in trouble. But I think I know someone who can help.

[ Playing classical music ]

Lois: Bravo, Lucy.  Excellent performance.

Lex: Yeah, I had no idea the younger Lane was such a virtuoso.

Lois: Oh, apparently, there's quite a bit about the younger Lane we don't know.

Lucy: Thanks, Clark. You're pretty great about keeping a secret.

Clark: Lucy, I want to help you.  That's why I'm here.  Lex, I was gonna tell you about the money, but I think she already beat me to it.

Lex: And what money would that be?

Lucy: I didn't come here looking for a hand out. I can solve this problem myself.

Lois: Well, as long as we're on the topic of personal finance, how did you think you'd be able to pay this money back standing on a street corner 453D6EC9.JPGplaying your violin for loose change?

Lucy: There's a reason I didn't tell you. 

Lois: Look, I don't want to have to say anything to the general --

Lucy: You're not mom, all right, so stop trying to be.

Lois: Don't you dare bring mom into this.

Lex: Ladies...please.

Clark: Lucy owes $50,000 to a guy in Switzerland.  He's come to Smallville to collect.

Lex: Now, Lucy, how does a girl like you get involved with a loan shark?

Lucy: It's a long story. Look, I didn't ask for anyone's help, not Clark, not Lois, not you. I'm a big girl.  I can handle this on my own.

Lex: $50,000 is a lot to handle, even for a "big girl."

Lucy: Yeah, well, I guess that's my problem.

Lex: Lucy, before you walk out that door, why don't you tell me what happened? I have the resources to deal with these kind of people.

Lex: They want bearer bonds, which are impossible to trace. This isn't amateur hour.

Clark: I thought you had a policy not to deal with extortionists.

Lex: This is different, Clark. This isn't the first time I've dealt with these people.

Clark: Wait, you know Marcus Becker?

Lex: I know the men he works for. They're a German crime syndicate, and they've repeatedly blocked my attempts to buy a hotel in Zurich through intimidation and blackmail.  If I get this guy in custody, I'll have something to squeeze them with.

Clark: So Lucy's just a pawn?

Lex: No. I just have other reasons for helping her out. Becker wants me to meet him at an abandoned warehouse at the corner of Market and Linden.

453D6F35.JPGClark: Lex, this isn't worth getting hurt over.

Lex: No one's getting hurt, Clark. All I'm doing is delivering the briefcase. The G.P.S device inside will lead my security team right to them.

Lucy: He said he only wants me there.

Lex: No. That's not gonna happen. I'm going alone.

Lois: A 100 grand, chrome wheels and 13 speakers instead of a back seat? Oh, yeah, I get the gear shift.

Lucy: Are we there yet?

Lois: Have you ever been in a car and not uttered those words?

Lucy: All I'm saying is, this guy's not gonna be happy if we're not there on time. He's not the kind of guy you want to piss off.

Lex: Relax. We're close.

[ Siren wailing ]

Lex: Damn it.

Lucy: Can you out run them?

Lex: Don't worry. I'll handle it. Stay put. Excuse me, officer. I appreciate your need to fill your speeding ticket quota, but can we make this quick?

Officer: Put your hands over your head.

Lex: What?

Officer: Put your hands up now. 453D6F83.JPG

Lex: Look, I think there's been a mistake.  I may have been speeding, but --

Officer: Shut up. Go get the bonds, Mr. Luthor.

Lucy: Oh, my god.

Lois: No, no, no, just stay calm, okay?

Marcus: Nice try. Dump it in the bag. Thank you. And good night. You wouldn't want Lucy to bean only child, would you?

Employee: Take my word for it, there's no cash on the premises.

Clark: Wait. Where's Marcus Becker?

Employee: Never heard of him.

453D6FEE.JPGClark: Lex!

Lex: Clark, he's got the girls. 

[ Groans ]

Lois: Hey! Somebody!

Lucy: It's no use. We are totally and utterly screwed.

Lois: Oh, let's not jump to conclusions here. I have a history of getting us out of the jams you get us into. 453D70D3.JPGI'll think of something.

Lucy: Lois, this isn't like us getting ourselves locked in the mess hall pantry or getting lost on our bikes in Bangkok.

Lois: I don't get it. You got your money. Why don't you go back home, eat some swiss cheese, and live happily ever after?  You don't need us.

Marcus: But I do. The Luthor well has only just been tapped. I'm here to strike it rich.

Lucy: You son of a bitch.  You're holding us for ransom?

Lois: Lucy, zip it. Let my sister go. You don't need both of us.

Marcus: Sure I do. A pair of Lanes, it definitely ups the ante.

Lois: The world would be a whole lot worse without her in it than without me, right? She's the one with the future if she'd only learn to behave herself. 453D710F.JPG

Marcus: Eat up, girls.

Lucy: How generous of you.  I thought you'd let us starve.

Marcus: The one with the sticker has no tomatoes.

Lois: Lucy.

Lucy: Yeah.

Lois: How did he know you don't like tomatoes?

Clark: Lucy Lane has been conning us this whole time.

Lex: That's a pretty bold accusation, Clark.

Clark: The drop-off was a fake.  There was no warehouse.  And Lucy was the only one who knew about the G.P.S.   I mean, how else would Becker have known to treat the briefcase like the plague?

Lex: Becker's a pro.  He could simply be cautious about the money.

Clark: It's all part of a bigger plan.  The way she accidentally woke me up on her way to steal from the Talon.  She knew I'd catch her in the act. Her sob story about not being able to fit in at school.  It was all a setup in order to win my sympathy so I'd come to you for the money. 453D7150.JPG

Lex: She played us like a Stradivarius.

Clark: What I don't understand is, why abduct Lois? I know it's a con, but why kidnap your own sister?

Lex: Well, they say sibling rivalries run deep.

Woman: Line one, Mr. Luthor.  It's Becker.

453D717C.JPGLex: Lex Luthor.

Becker: Place $500,000 in bearer bonds in the abandoned tractor trailer just north of Highway 54 just north of Cherry Hill.

Lex: That's not how it works.

[ Dial tone ]

Lex: Clark? Clark? 

[ Sighs ]

Lucy: I swear, Lois, it wasn't supposed to end up this way.

Lois: When Michael Hoover was throwing dirt clods at you, who kicked his butt, uh? Who was the one who let you sleep in her bed and listen to you snore every night after mom died?

Lucy: Lois, I'm sorry.

Lois: Well, sorry's not good enough.  I want to know why.  I want to know why you turned to a life of crime when you have everything in the world going for you. You're as close to frickin'  perfect as it gets.

Lucy: Because that's what the general always wanted.  I just went along and played the part.  From the day I left for school, all I wanted was to go home.

Lois: Why didn't you tell the general that?

Lucy: How could I? It was clear he didn't want me around.  He wanted you.

Lois: What are you talking about? 453D71B8.JPG

Lucy: Why do you think he sent me off to school after mom died?

Lois: He sent you off to school because you were brilliant and you deserved the best education available.

Lucy: Well, you can think whatever you want.  But the fact is, I always envied you.

Lois: Me? I was being dragged around the world like a spare piece of luggage.

Lucy: Yeah, but you had something I never had.

Lois: What?

Lucy: You had dad.

Lois: Luce... I don't think either of us ever had dad.

Lucy: I'm sorry I got you into this, Lois.

Lois: Don't worry about it. We've been in far worse trouble than this. 453D7232.JPG

[ Gunshots ]

[ Clicking ]

Lex: We're pulling over. Now! How are you feeling?

Lois: Well, I have a new found appreciation for seat belts, I can tell you that.  What are you going to do with my sister?

Lex: I don't have a choice. I have to notify the authorities.

Man: Hey, hey!

Lois: Lucy!! 

Clark: Lex, any luck finding Lucy?

Lex: No. All that turned up was the car, minus my $50,000.

Clark: Lex, I know that Lois feels really badly about this, but there's really no way she would've --

Lex: Clark, I'm not here to collect.  Besides, having Becker in custody is worth a lot more to me than 50 grand.

Clark: Your deal in Zurich. Well, I'm glad that someone came out of this ahead.

Lex: How's lois?

Clark: Um, I don't know. She hasn't said anything all day.  But I don't know why Lucy would run away. 453D739B.JPG  I mean, Lois is her family.

Lex: Just because you have the same blood running through your veins doesn't make you family. Look at us, Clark.  I'm a product of my father's breeding.  He needed an heir. But your parents chose you out of love. I'd take your family any day of the week.

Clark: I just think Lois and Lucy could've been closer.

Lex: Well, hopefully, one day they will be. But that's up to them. So quit blaming yourself for what happened.

Clark: Lex. Do you ever miss not having a sibling?

Lex: I used to, until I met you, Clark.  You're closer to me than any...blood brother.

Chloe: Hey.

Clark: Hey.

Chloe: Have you recovered from Hurricane Lucy yet? 453D73F7.JPG

Clark: I just hope she changes her ways before she gets herself hurt.

Chloe: You know, it never fails. Keeping secrets always leads to trouble. I don't know which is more difficult, being the one keeping the secret or the one who's being duped.

Clark: Have you talked to Lois? She's been holed up in her room all day. She took it all pretty hard.

Chloe: Yeah, well, ever since I could remember, the one thing Lois has always wanted is to protect her little sister.

Clark: I guess no matter how bad you want to, you just can't save everyone.

Chloe: But it doesn't stop you from trying, does it, Clark?

Lex: Dad, clearly the idea of  personal space  is lost on you.

Lionel: Lex, one of your employees paid me a visit recently, and I wasn't clear whether it was official business, or what it was.

Lex: As far as I know, our outstanding business is finished.

Lionel: Well, he -- Jason Teague, that's who it was -- accused me of taking something that, uh, didn't belong to me, of stealing.

Lex: Well, it wouldn't be the first time.

Lionel: Be that as it may, the accusation was false.

[ Sighs ]

Lionel: But given what's missing, I almost wish I was guilty.

Lex: What was it?

Lionel: You know the answer to that question, Lex. You're the one who took it from him.

Lex: Dad, if you want to play games, there's a deck of cards in the parlor -- 453D7460.JPG

Lionel: Let's talk about games. You hire someone to travel to China to search for an ancient artifact.  He finds it, he steals it, but he keeps it for himself.  Then you have to steal it back from him.  You've turned hot potato into a art form, son.

Lex: Jason Teague found the stone?

Lionel: Either you are the best con man in the world, or you are truly, unbelievably naive. Good afternoon, Lex. 

Clark: I thought you said that telescopes were for geeks and stalkers.

Lois: Yeah, well, as was proven over the last few days, I can seriously misjudge people.  You know, if you've come to kick me off the farm, I completely understand.

Clark: Yeah, um... actually, I came here to tell you we have food in the oven if you're hungry.

Lois: Thanks.

Clark: How are you holding up?

Lois: I just got off the phone with the general.

Clark: Oh, that was all the screaming I heard from the house.

Lois: Yeah, well, apparently, he is very disappointed in me for letting this happen, and as far as my family chain of command goes, 453D74DF.JPGI am the weakest link.

Clark: I'm sorry.

Lois: Don't be. You know, there's something cathartic about telling a three-star general to go to hell. Uh, you know, all these years, I thought I had my sister pegged, but in reality, she's a complete stranger to me.

Clark: Even if that were true, I think that if she called you453D7518.JPG tomorrow, you'd be there in a second to help her.

Lois: Yeah, I would. She's my sister.

Clark: I don't think Lucy's all that bad.

Lois: You're amazing, Smallville.  You always look for the best in people, even when they walk all over you.

Clark: I guess that explains why we're friends.

Lois: Oh, we're friends now?

Clark: Well, I won't tell anyone if you don't.

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