Clark: It's for Smallville High. I thought the school logo could use
Mr. Frankel: Your form could use a little function.
Pete: I told you. Stick with the basics. You can't mess with the
Mr. Frankel: You call this a letter opener? Poorly cast, shoddy
I expected better from you, Ian.
Ian: Well, you're not going to grade me down for this, are you?
Mr. Frankel: I'm going to give you the grade you deserve.
Ian: But I did the work. I came to every class.
Mr. Frankel: Attendance isn't everything. There's also attitude and
effort. That's it. Good work, most of you. Grades will be posted
Pete: Clark, how about a sneak preview? Come on, man. I'm not going to
tell your dad. So, come on man. Don't keep me in suspense. How'd I do?
Clark: You were smart to stick to the basics.
Pete: What's bugging him?
Clark: Let's just say that Ian's legendary 4.0 took a hit. I saw his
grade. His name's right above yours in Frankel's book.
Pete: It's too bad. The kid's an academic dynamo. But keep loading up on
night classes and extracurriculars, and something's gotta give.
Ian: I need an A in this class. Mr. Frankel, we need to talk about my
Mr. Frankel: I told you, it'll be posted on Thursday.
Ian: No, I need to know now.
Mr. Frankel: It's a C. And frankly, that was generous.
Ian: Wait, that's not fair! I work twice as hard as anyone at this
school, and I need a perfect 4.0 to lock down the Luthor Foundation
Mr. Frankel: That grade is final, Ian. And this conversation is over.
Ian, what the hell is this?! I'm calling the police!
Ian #2: I just can't accept a C.
Lex: Yes, I'm aware I'm late. Look, make my apologies to the EPA rep and
start the plant tour without me. Yes, I still plan on being in
Metropolis for the charity auction. Oh, excuse me. Excuse me. I've been
here less than five minutes.
Meter Maid: It's too late. I've already started writing the ticket.
Lex: Look, I'm in a hurry and I have a headache, and I don't have time
Meter Maid: Yeah, I wouldn't want you to miss your tee time.
Lex: These are for a, uh, charity auction.
Meter Maid: So you'll give away a $4,000 set of golf clubs, but you'll
gripe over a $25 parking ticket?
Lex is taken aback by the man's attitude. He smiles tightly and takes a
moment, trying to get his anger under control, but is still annoyed.
Lex: I'm sorry. Have I done something to offend you?
Meter Maid: It's always the rich ones that put up a stink. Some of us
actually work for a living. Watch where you park your car in the future,
uh... Lex. Hey! Are you crazy?!
Lex: I employ 2500 people in this town... I pay taxes, which provide...
your salary. Get a real job.
Clark: There you go.
Chloe: Thank you very much.
Lana: Thanks again for letting me live with you guys, Mr. Sullivan. It
really, really means a lot.
Gabe: You're welcome. And in honor of the day, I'm gonna make dinner.
Lana: Oh, hey, don't put yourself out.
Gabe: Mi casa, su casserole.
Clark: So, how are you feeling?
Lana: Uh, excited and terrified at the same time, if that makes any
Clark: Well, it is a big change.
Lana: Huge. And not just for me. Even though she agreed to it, Nell was
kind of upset that I decided to stay in Smallville.
Clark: It's not easy when someone you love moves away.
Chloe: So, that looks like it's, uh, everything, if you need to get your
Clark: You know, I lucked out. My mom called and said she was gonna take
off early. Help finish up the chores. So you want to celebrate?
Lana: I wish I could, but I've got to get changed and take a shift at
Chloe: Yeah, and I only have like a second to grab a bite before I need
to run over to the Torch. Sorry.
Clark: Oh. When you two are scheduled to take a breath, give me a call.
Chloe: Will do.
Lana: Thanks Clark.
Chloe: Bye. This is going to be so great!
Jonathan: Well, it looks like it's just you and me, old girl. Ah, come
on. Come on, you. Arghhh!
Clark: Mom? Dad? Anyone home?
Jonathan: Clark! Clark!
Clark: Dad. Dad!
Jonathan: I can't move my leg.
Clark: It's broken. Hold on.
Ian: Oh, sorry, the, uh, door was open. I'm Ian....
Chloe: Uh, Randall. Yeah, I know. You practically own the library table
near the math and science shelves.
Ian: Yeah, and you've, uh, staked out carrel 17--current events. Guess
we're both candidates for the overachievers anonymous club.
Chloe: Yeah. So, um, what brings you to my stressed out part of the
Ian: Well, uh, actually I had heard that most of the library's reference
books had migrated over to this side of the building.
Chloe: Uh, right. I've been meaning to return these...
Ian: But just couldn't find the time.
Chloe: Exactly. Days like this, I could really use two of me. Um, are
you getting started early as well?
Ian: Uh, no, actually, I'm planning on graduating at the end of this
Chloe: But you're only a sophomore.
Ian: Well, yeah, but I've been piling on night classes, extra credit
work. If I can land the Luthor Scholarship, I'll be going Ivy League
Chloe: Color me journalistically intrigued. Um, how about an interview?
Ian: Okay. All right.
Ian: But take it easy on me. Your reputation precedes you.
Chloe: I have a feeling I'll be able to leave my hard hitting reporter
hat at home this time, so don't worry.
Clark: Is he going to be all right, doctor?
Helen: I don't see him square dancing in the near term, but if he stays
off the leg, it should heal fine.
Martha: Oh, my God, Jonathan....
Jonathan: Martha, I-I'm going to be fine.
Helen: His doctor agrees. As soon as I can find you a pair of crutches,
you're good to go.
Jonathan: Thank you.
Clark: Mom, where have you been? I left you a message an hour ago.
Martha: I was in a closed-door teleconference between Lionel and the
LuthorCorp board. I wish you had waited for me.
Jonathan: I did wait for you. I waited over an hour for you.
Martha: Well, I'm sorry... I tried to call, but the machine was on.
Jonathan: Well, what's done is done. I would just really like to get out
of here, now. Please.
Clark: I'll pack up your stuff.
Martha: I'm really sorry.
Jonathan: I know.
Lex: I'm looking for a doctor Bryce.
Helen: You found her.
Lex: Yes. I'm a friend of Jonathan Kent's. I've placed a call to my
father's personal orthopedist in Metropolis. If there are any
complications he can be flown out here within the hour.
Helen: A broken leg is nothing to sneeze at, but I don't see any reason
to summon the calvary.
Lex: I just want to make sure he gets the best care.
Helen: So do I.
Lex: I, uh...I've offended you.
Helen: I'm second-guessed for a living, Mr. Luthor. It comes with the
Clark: Lex, what's going on?
Helen: Mr. Luthor and I were just discussing the state of small town
Lex: How's your dad?
Clark: He's okay. It's my mom I'm worried about. She blames herself for
Lex: Well, your mom's taking on a lot, and she's trying to find a
balance. Believe me, it's not always that easy.
Clark: I guess I'm just lucky she didn't take a 9 iron to a meter maid's
Lex: You heard about that.
Clark: The town is called Smallville.
Lex: I was having a bad day.
Jonathan: I can do it, I can do it.
Martha: Thank you. Just take it easy.
Chloe: So perfect attendance, straight A's, and a class load that would
make Einstein crack. You know what--forget the interview. Let's just
Ian: It's kind of intense, huh?
Chloe: That's like saying the sun is "kind of hot".
Ian: Yeah, I think it's an only child thing, you know? Part of me always
wants to do twice as much, make up for the children my parents never
Chloe: As an only myself, I understand. Though, I'll never get this mad
rush to graduate.
Ian: Well, I just know there's more to life than Smallville. And I can't
wait to take it on.
Chloe: You and me both.
Ian: You are on a deadline, right?
Chloe: Oh, yeah. One of the drawbacks of actually enjoying your
Ian: Well, you know, if you want, maybe I could tag along. We could do
something when you're through.
Chloe: Great. Yeah, I would love that.
Clark: Hey Chloe.
Chloe: Hi Clark! Um, uh...you remember Ian--the amazing Ian. We were
just finishing up.
Ian: Uh, yeah. I'll grab the check.
Chloe: Okay, I'll grab the car. Meet ya outside in five.
Clark: Ian...Frankel gave you a pretty hard time today, huh?
Ian: Yeah, well, his bark's worse than his bite. I caught him in the
hall after class. He said I definitely nailed the A.
Clark: Really? That's good for you.
Lana: Hey, Clark, thank God. I thought you'd forgotten about our math
Clark: Actually, that's why I'm here. With my dad out of commission, I
have to make the feed store run.
Lana: Okay, yeah. I understand.
Ian: So, simultaneous equations giving you grief?
Lana: Higher math and I don't seem to get along very well.
Ian: Yeah, I suffered through algebra last term. You know, if you want,
I can give you a few tips.
Lana: Are you serious? Cause I am totally lost.
Ian: Yeah, yeah, definitely. When's a good time?
Lana: I'm off in ten minutes.
Ian: I'll be right back.
Lana: Okay, thanks. You okay, Clark?
Clark: Yep. Um, I'd better go.
Lana: All right.
Chloe: Hey Ian! Hop in! Come on.
Ian: Oh, great car. Thanks for the ride.
Chloe: No problem
Lana: Thanks Ian. You're a lifesaver.
Ian: Trust me, there's no place I'd rather be.
Clark: Dad. Aren't you supposed to be taking it easy?
Jonathan: I am taking it easy. I slept in till 6:00, didn't I? Besides,
I've got to go out and feed and water the cattle.
Jonathan: Really? Well, did you clean out the....
Clark: Chicken coop? Dad, I took care of it. Don't worry.
Martha: Good morning.
Clark: Mom, you're not dressed for work.
Martha: I thought maybe I would stay home today. Just until things
Jonathan: Sweetheart, I don't want my accident to disrupt this whole
Clark: Dad. The couch is over there.
Jonathan: Clark, believe me, I can take it just as easy greasing the
bearings on the tractor out in the barn as I can sitting on that couch.
Clark: Mom, you can't blame yourself for Dad's accident.
Martha: This farm is supposed to be a partnership. But ever since I've
been working with Lionel, I-I haven't been able to do my share.
Clark: You took that job to help the farm. No one expects you to be in
two places at once.
Martha: No, but I should try to be where I'm needed.
Clark: How's that for weird? Frankel's never even missed a class before.
Pete: Looks like the metal shop impaired caught a break today. I'm glad
you scoped out my grade. Hey, check out Lana's new study buddy.
Pete: Do I detect a hint of the "J" word?
Clark: No, Lana and I are just friends.
Ian: Thanks. I really appreciate this, Lana. Your peer recommendation's
going to carry a lot of weight with Lex Luthor.
Lana: Anyone who can help me understand double angle functions deserves
Ian: Well, I'll talk to you later? Page me.
Clark: Looks like the study date went well.
Lana: Yeah, um, Ian showed me this great shortcut, and after that, the
study part was over. Ian's really intense, you know, in a good way.
We're getting together again tonight.
Clark: More studying?
Lana: Uh, actually we're going to see a movie.
Clark: What does Chloe think?
Lana: What do you mean?
Clark: You saw her and Ian at the Talon last night.
Lana: Yeah, they were doing an interview.
Clark: No, they were going to go on a date.
Clark: He bailed on her to help you with your algebra homework.
Lana: Chloe and I were unpacking for an hour last night and she didn't
say a word.
Clark: Lana, I swear, they were....
Lana: Listen, Clark, this move has been tough enough, and Chloe and her
dad have been great. So, please, if you don't have any facts, stay out
Lex: Dr. Bryce?
Helen: Mr. Luthor.
Lex: I like your nametag.
Helen: It's my secret identity. Don't tell anyone.
Lex: I've got to admit, you are the last person I expected to see here
Lex: What are you here for?
Helen: I drop kicked an orderly.
Helen: I have a violent reaction to incompetence.
Lex: The drop kick must have caught him off guard.
Helen: So, uh, what did you do? Verbally demean your butler?
Lex: Cute. I took a 9 iron to a meter maid's car.
Helen: Wow, now I'm really jealous. I've always wanted to do that. How'd
Helen: Word of advice--keep that to yourself in here.
Lex: Want to get together after class, grab something to eat?
Lex: You got a thing about dating classmates?
Helen: No, I've got a thing about dating you.
Helen: You don't remember me, do you?
Teacher: If everyone could please take their seats...
Clark: Hey, you got a second?
Clark: "Primed to graduate two years early, Ian Randall is a true
academic superstar." Well, so much for journalistic detachment.
Chloe: Believe it or not, not every story has to be Wall of Weird
material. Why am I defending myself?
Clark: Do you like him?
Chloe: I don't not like him. What is this about, Clark?
Clark: Nothing. I just want you to be careful.
Clark: Look, I probably shouldn't say anything, but I saw him and Lana
in the hallway and they seem pretty... close.
Chloe: Oh, I get it. You just want to make sure that poor little Chloe
doesn't get burned... Again.
Clark: No. Chloe...
Chloe: You know what Clark? Not that it really matters, but Ian already
told me that Lana was kind of into him, but he'd rather be with me.
He-he asked me to keep it a secret because he doesn't want to hurt her
Clark: And you believe that?
Chloe: You really can't imagine that someone would choose me over Lana,
can you Clark?
Clark: Chloe, wait...
Clark: Ian. We need to talk.
Ian: Later Clark. I'm busy.
Clark: Now. It's about Chloe and Lana. I know you're playing 'em off
Ian: I must've learned from the master.
Clark: What does that mean?
Ian: Well, Chloe told me how you dumped her a day after spring formal.
Ian: And Lana said you send off so many mixed signals you could scramble
a radar. Maybe they'd rather be with a guy who's going someplace. You
know, after I get my scholarship, I am out of this hick town.
Clark: So you don't care about them at all, do you? You're using them to
get your scholarship. Chloe writes the big article and Lana gives you
the fast track to Lex.
Ian: I never said that. Why don't you just admit it, the two girls who
used to like you now like me, and you're jealous.
Clark: It's going to be hard to keep your 4.0 when Frankel gave you a C.
Ian: I never saw any grades posted.
Clark: It's pretty weird. Frankel takes a day off... Lucky break for
Ian: You trying to say something?
Ian: The guy took a sick day. Stay out of my life, Kent.
Pete: Clark, for the record, this is messed up. Mr. Frankel's sick.
Clark: Actually, I checked with Principal Reynold's office. He didn't
call in sick. In fact, he didn't call at all. Now, this is the last
place anyone saw Frankel. I just want to have a look around.
Pete: Fine. You want to have a look around, we'll have a look around.
But I don't know what you think we're going to find.
Pete: I'm going to have a little look around. There.
Clark: Just take a look.
Pete: I'm looking around. You happy? We looked around. There's nothing
Clark: What are you doing here?
Ian: What's it look like?
Clark: Chloe. He just tried to kill me and Pete. And I think he murdered
Ian: What is this a joke?
Chloe: Yeah, Clark, when did this deadly encounter occur?
Clark: 20 minutes ago. I came right over.
Chloe: Okay, stop, that--that's impossible.
Ian: Because I've been here for the last three hours, Clark.
Clark: Lana, have you seen Chloe?
Lana: She's at the sheriff's station, giving her statement.
Clark: Well, I don't remember ordering a side of hostility.
Lana: I can't believe you accused Ian of murdering Mr. Frankel.
Clark: Lana you have to believe me. I don't know how he did it, but he's
lying to everyone.
Lana: A boy with secrets. I'm surprised you guys aren't fast friends.
Clark: Don't try and turn this around on me. He's seeing you and Chloe
at the same time. He was at her house. She's his alibi.
Lana: Clark, they were finishing up an interview!
Clark: Does Chloe always finish up her interviews by making out with her
Lana: Ian told me that Chloe had a little crush on him, but it wasn't
Clark: And he told you not to say anything to Chloe about it, didn't he?
Lana, he said the same thing to Chloe about you.
Lana: If this is all because I enjoy spending time with Ian, then you
are way overreacting. If I didn't know you better, I'd say you were
Clark: No, Lana, I'm trying to be your friend. Look, you've got to ask
yourself, what kind of person asks the two people he cares about to lie
Lex: Metropolis General. I was drunk, puking my guts out in the ER. You
were the first year med student assigned to sober me up.
Helen: It's a night I'll never forget, either.
Lex: Guess I owe you a belated thank you.
Helen: Actually, I should be thanking you. It's cases like yours that
convinced me to leave Metropolis.
Lex: I'm flattered I turned you from a life of nose jobs and lipo-suctions
to small town medicine.
Lex: Your father is Stanley Bryce, right--plastic surgeon to the
Metropolis rich and famous?
Helen: Somebody's been doing his homework.
Lex: You intrigue me, Helen.
Helen: What, suddenly we're on a first name basis...Lex?
Lex: Don't worry, I won't give up your secret identity.
Helen: For the record, I refused to join my father's practice and we
Lex: They hate when you do that.
Helen: Sounds like you speak from experience.
Lex: You witnessed my, uh, self-destructive phase. Then I almost let my
father die...now I'm just trying to beat him at his own game.
Helen: How's that going?
Lex: I terrorize meter maids.
Helen: Yeah. I drop kick orderlies. It's funny, I was never an angry
Lex: I'll see you in class.
Helen: I'm off in ten minutes.... If you wanted to go do something.
Pete: Clark, I got your 911. I assume we're back on the Ian trail?
Clark: I got Ian's scholarship information from Lex. It turns out he was
taking classes at Smallville Community College at the exact same time
that he was taking classes at Smallville High.
Pete: Any idea how an only child can make like the Olsen twins?
Clark: How isn't important. I just want to make sure we're right before
we start throwing around charges.
Pete: Yeah, well, I wouldn't look for much help in the Lana and Chloe
Clark: Maybe I can. Doesn't Ian carry a pager?
Mr. Sullivan: Hey, Ian.
Ian: Mr. Sullivan, hi. Is, uh, Chloe here?
Mr. Sullivan: No, I'm afraid she's not home.
Ian: Well, I don't understand. She paged me to meet her here at 5:30.
Mr. Sullivan: Well, there must be some kind of mix-up. Last I heard, she
was working late at the Torch.
Ian: Okay. Thanks.
Mr. Sullivan: All right.
Ian: Hey Pete, have you seen Lana?
Pete: Um, not for a while. Why?
Ian: Well, she paged me, said she wanted to get together at 5:30
Pete: What can I say? Something must have come up. Clark, Mr. Punctual
made his appearance at exactly 5:30... ...Which means we're definitely
Clark: Thanks, Pete. I'll call Chloe.
Chloe: God, Clark, give it a rest. Hey, Ian, um, I will be with you in
just one second. Lana, hi. Um, where'd you--I thought that you were, uh,
going home after your shift was over.
Lana: We need to talk.
Chloe: Okay, sure. About what?
Lana: About Ian.
Chloe: He's um, actually he's stopping by to look over his article.
Lana: Is that why you're wearing a new blouse?
Chloe: Okay, this just got incredibly awkward.
Lana: Clark came by the Talon. I know about you and Ian.
Chloe: For a guy so concerned with privacy, he can't seem to keep his
Lana: This isn't about Clark. It's about us.
Chloe: I hated keeping it from you, but I really like Ian, and I didn't
want to hurt your feelings.
Lana: I don't want to hurt your feelings either. But I was out with Ian
last night too.
Chloe: Making me 0 for 2 in the "They always go for Lana" sweepstakes.
Lana: Chloe, he's playing us both.
Lana: And I should've been honest with you up-front.
Chloe: Me too.
Lana: Ian. What are you doing here?
Ian: Well, I was looking for you. Both of you, actually.
Chloe: The two for one special? Ian, we know.
Ian: Well, can you blame me? I mean, I enjoyed being with the two
smartest, prettiest girls in school. Together, you're almost my equal.
Lana: I don't believe this. Clark tried to warn us about you.
Ian: Kent. Is that why you paged me at the same time?
Chloe: What are you talking about? I never paged you. Ian, what are you
Ian: Securing my future. Your futures, on the other hand, don't look so
Ian #2: Hey girls. How about a double date?
Clark: Chloe! Lana!
Pete: Chloe! Clark, check this out! "We've both been deceiving ourselves
over Ian. Now the pain's too much. We've gone to the dam to end our
suffering." Sounds like a suicide note.
Clark: Ian wanted me to see that. He's going to kill them to get to me.
Lana: Ian, don't, please!
Ian #2: I'm not going to let you ruin my life.
Chloe: Ian, you need help!
Ian #1: That's what I'm doing--helping myself.
Lana: No! Chloe!
Ian #2: Give me a hand here!
Ian #1: Be there in a sec!
Ian # 2: Come on.
Ian #2: AHHHHHHHH!
Clark: You okay?
Jonathan: Clark, any word on Lana and Chloe?
Clark: They're uh, shaken up, but okay.
Martha: Are you sure they didn't see you use your abilities?
Clark: I think they were a little preoccupied with the idea of two Ians.
Jonathan: I thought we were done with the bills for this month?
Martha: We were, but I thought I'd take another look, and see if we
could get along without my extra paycheck. I've been thinking that-that
I've been trying to do too many things and I-I should really stay on the
Jonathan: Look, I was not angry because you weren't here. I'm not going
to lie to you. Ever since you took this job, things have been different
between you and me. Now, I don't want you to quit, but you got to know
that it seems to me like sometimes the Luthors take top priority and...
I guess I've just got to work through that.
Martha: I really like what I'm doing, Jonathan, but you and Clark will
always come first. You know that.
Chloe: Hey Lana.
Lana: Oh, hey.
Chloe: How you feeling?
Lana: Still a little freaked... kind of stupid.
Chloe: Ditto. What really gets me is I should have known better. Only
Chloe Sullivan could fall for a guy who splits himself in two. I dunno.
What is it about me? Do I have a sign around my neck that says "Mutant
Lana: He fooled me too, Chloe.
Chloe: So much for our taste in guys.
Lana: It only went as far as it did because we weren't being honest with
each other. So no more secrets... Okay?
Lana: I'm going to finish the laundry, 'cause I'm cooking dinner
Chloe: Lana, you don't have to do that.
Lana: Oh, I don't mind.
Chloe: You're not a glorified houseguest. This is your house too, and
we're not going to kick you out if there's evidence that you actually
Lana: I guess after my parents and Nell, I have a few abandonment
Chloe: Ah, I went through the same thing when my mom walked out. I was
so afraid my dad was gonna leave too. But he finally sat me down and
said that I didn't have to earn the right to be a part of this family.
Neither do you.
Lana: Thanks, Chloe.
Chloe: Sure. Now, let's go over the house rules.
Lana: And they are?
Chloe: One, do not make your bed until after 5:00 PM. Two, do not touch
the dishes in the sink until it's overflowing, and three, contrary to my
dad's protestations, your bedroom floor is definitely a closet.
Clark: I got your message. Is everything all right?
Chloe: We've been up all night talking...
Lana: You were the number one topic of discussion.
Clark: This can't be good.
Chloe: Actually, we wanted to apologize to you for the way we've been
treating you. Even though you did technically use us as bait.
Clark: I didn't count on it getting out of control.
Lana: The point is, you warned us about Ian, and we didn't listen.
Clark: Yeah, you thought I was jealous.
Chloe: There's a lot of water under the bridge between us, Clark.
Clark: I know that you each have your issues with me, but you have to
understand that I would never let anyone hurt you.
Lana: We know that, Clark.
Clark: I just find it interesting that you guys would give Ian all the
latitude in the world, and I would just be immediately dismissed.
Chloe: After all the times you've been less than honest with us, can you
really blame us for having some doubts?
Clark: You want honesty. The truth is that, I expected more from both of
Lana: And we expected more from you. We made a mistake. But it was ours
Chloe: So, what do we do now?
Clark: Well, first we can stop treating me like the jealous boyfriend,
since none of us have actually dated. You wanna be friends, let’s be
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