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Smallville Transcripts


First aired April 22nd, 2003

"Precipice" picture of Lex and Lana boxing

Provided by Glynis

Guy: Okay, okay, here we go. Oh yeah.

Lana: Sorry, guys, but the coffee here is strictly non-Irish.

Guy: Oh, come on, loosen up.

Guy #2: Yeah, have a drink!

Lana: If that's what I think it is, you're gonna have to take it outside. Besides we're closing. Can I get you anything else?

Helen: Just a boyfriend who can keep a date.

Lana: You're definitely talking to the wrong person. Dr. Bryce, are you sure you're okay?

Helen: Yeah, I just thought I saw someone I knew. But it's late. I better be going. Thanks, Lana.

Lana: No problem. Bye.

Guy: Go get her.

Andy: Hey. We heard this place had the friendliest service in town.

Lana: Just leave.

Andy: Ah. That's no way to talk to a customer. Hey!

Lana: Aaah!

Andy: Why don't we take this into the back and have a private party?

Clark: Stop! Get away from her!

Andy: Isn't it past your bedtime?

Clark: Look, the police are on their way. Right now.

Andy: Come on. Let's go.

Clark: Lana, are you okay?

Lana: Yeah.

Andy: Did you see the stupid look on her face?

Guys: Yeah!

Andy: Check out Speedy Gonzalez.

Clark: I don't want to see any of you in the Talon again. Got it?

Andy: Listen, John Boy. We'll do whatever the hell we want. As a matter of fact, we were thinking about stopping by tomorrow.

Clark: I won't tell you again.

Andy: Oh, I get it. You got the hots for that bitch manager. It's too bad she's a real dirty slut. All right. You want to try it on, farm boy? Let's see what you're made of.

Clark: Get your coffee somewhere else.

Adams: On your knees. Hands behind your head. Now. Now!

Clark: So you're the new sheriff in town.

Adams: You writing a book, Mr. Kent?

Clark: No, ma'am.

Adams: Then keep the chitter chatter to yourself. Flying boys. Flying boys aren't something you see every day. That young man told me you attacked him and his friends, then you threw him 30 feet onto my car.

Clark: That's crazy.

Adams: Then how come the paramedics were all over them and there's not a scratch on you, huh? What about you, Miss Lang? What'd you see?

Lana: Nothing.

Adams: You're lying, you know.

Lana: Excuse me?

Adams: You said you made a good cappuccino. This is a great cappuccino.

Clark: Looks like we're done here.

Adams: No, Mr. Kent. Mnh-mnh. We are just getting started.

Jonathan: Sheriff, we know our son and Clark would never deliberately hurt anybody. I'm sure whatever he did, he did it 'cause he thought he had to.

Adams: By throwing another young man across my police car? I ran a complete check on your son, Mr. Kent. He's been at more crime scenes than Eliot Ness.

Martha: If Clark's been involved with police business, it's only because he was trying to help people.

Adams: Or maybe he's got some kind of hero complex? I mean, even heroes got to play by the rules. And that is why I'm charging him with misdemeanor battery.

Jonathan: What exactly does that mean?

Adams: Could be a $1500-dollar fine. Depends on the judge.

Clark: I'm sorry, but we can't afford that.

Jonathan: Clark, sit down.

Adams: I'll make you a deal, Mr. Kent. I won't charge you if you are willing to do the community service, and then you can keep the world safe from roadside litter.

Jonathan: Wait just a minute, how--

Adams: Your former sheriff? He may have looked way the other way on these matters, but I'm here to tell you. Those good ol' boy days are over. Nighty-night.

Paul: Metropolis Flower Show, 1999. You couldn't take your eyes off of them.

Helen: Paul?

Paul: Dr. Bryce.

Helen: I thought I saw you last night.

Paul: You did. And I was gonna say hi, but it was really late and you didn't look like you wanted any company.

Helen: What are you doing in Smallville?

Paul: I'm here on business, and I read that you were getting married.

Helen: You shouldn't believe everything you read. Right now, Lex and I are married to our careers.

Lex: At least that's what we tell each other.

Helen: Lex. I'd like you to meet an old friend of mine, Paul Hayden.

Lex: Hey. I take it you two knew each other from Metropolis.

Paul: Well, we actually dated for a while in med school until we realized we weren't gonna live happily ever after. At least not with each other.

Helen: Well, Paul it was nice seeing you. Lex and I are just on our way out to lunch.

Lex: Actually, I stopped by to tell you I can't make it. I'm sorry.

Paul: Well, maybe I can fill in? You know, if it's okay with Lex.

Lex: I'm sure you two have a lot of catching up to do.

Helen: Patient emergency. I'll have to take a rain check on that lunch. Why don't you give Lex the number where you're staying and we'll make a plan to get together?

Paul: Yeah, sounds great.

Paul: Same old Helen. One minute she's here, the next she's gone. Hang on to her Lex... if you can.

Pete: Clark Kent, convict.

Chloe: Yeah, I know, when do you get fit for that orange jump suit? Or is it one size fits all?

Clark: Forty hours of community service is not funny. It's an orange vest.

Chloe: Oh, no! It's gonna clash with the plaid!

Pete: Welcome to Smallville, where you stop the crime, you do the time.

Adams: Very pithy. Maybe I should use that as my campaign slogan, huh? Oh. We're
gonna see you bright and early, Mr. Kent.

Clark: I'm looking forward to it.

Adams: Yeah. Tootle-oo.

Chloe: Good luck on the chain gang. Hey.

Lana: Hey.

Clark: Hey, Lana. What's wrong?

Lana: According to the sheriff I don't have a case that'll hold up in court. It's all hearsay. At least you were there, Clark.

Clark: Yeah. Look where it got me.

Lana: Sorry. So, how'd you do it, Clark? I mean, I know you can take care of yourself, but there were three of them.

Clark: They were drunk. And I was highly motivated. I mean, the thought of someone hurting you...

Lana: You can't keep your eye on my every second.

Clark: I can try.

Lana: You're always there to save me. I just wish for once I could've saved myself.

Lex: Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you.

Lana: No, it's okay. I guess I'm still a little jumpy.

Lex: It's understandable. You had quite an ordeal.

Lana: I just feel so stupid. It's not like I was even hurt.

Lex: No, no, this place has always been a safe haven for you. Now that's been violated.

Lana: So now what? Become a shut-in?

Lex: Lana, I know what it's like to feel vulnerable.

Lana: You?

Lex: Trust me. Eccentric bald kids sit pretty low on the prep school totem pole. I was bullied for years, till one day I decided I had enough.

Lana: What'd you do?

Lex: One of my father's chauffeurs was an ex-Navy SEAL. I convinced him to teach me to fight. Let's just say the next time I was cornered the guy ended up needing serious dental work.

Lana: I could never hurt anybody.

Lex: It's not about hurting people. It's about reclaiming your sense of control over your life. Isn't that what you want?

Clark: One million dollars. The sheriff said he had a few cuts and bruises.

Jonathan: Now he's claiming to have severe neck injury.

Clark: "Punitive damages, pain and suffering, loss of future earnings"?

Martha: They're saying Andy's mobility may be permanently limited and they've hired the best personal injury attorney in the state.

Jonathan: You did throw him into that car, Clark.

Clark: Maybe this is where it all starts. Remember what it said in the spaceship? "They're a flawed race. Rule them with strength."

Jonathan: Son, I got into a lot of fights when I was your age too, believe me. But, Clark, these are not alien feelings. What you have to remember under these circumstances is that there are consequences.

Martha: Your father's right. You don't make decisions in a split second you have to live with for the rest of your life.

Jonathan: Clark, it's true. We are a flawed race, sure. But we're a flawed race that raised you. You're a lot more human than you think.

Helen: Lex, it still won't start. How far way are you? Okay. I'll see you in a sec.

Paul: You always had the worst luck with cars.

Helen: Paul. What are you doing here?

Paul: It must be kismet. I dropped my cell phone, came back to get it, and here you were. How about I give you a ride home?

Helen: Lex is on his way.

Paul: Come on, Helen, why wait? Same old Helen. Never wanted my help. Must be different with Lex, huh?

Helen: Yes, it is.

Paul: Here comes Prince Charming now.

Lex: Helen, is everything all right?

Helen: Yeah, I'm fine.

Lex: Yeah? Hey. Hello, Paul. I didn't expect to see you here.

Paul: I happened to be in the neighborhood.

Lex: Twice in one day. Three times if you count last night. Careful. I might start to think you're stalking my girlfriend.

Helen: Come on, let's go.

Paul: Why would I want to do that?

Lex: You're not over her.

Paul: I was just trying to be a good Samaritan.

Lex: So when my mechanic looks over this car, he's not gonna find missing spark plugs or sugar in the gas tank?

Helen: Lex, enough.

Paul: You really are paranoid.

Lex: No. No, I'm just a frighteningly good judge of character. I strongly suggest you stay away from Helen.

Paul: Whoa. Is that a threat?

Lex: You seem like a simple guy, Paul. I'd hate for your life to get complicated.

Meacham: He's back at the motel, Mr. Luthor.

Paul: You know I love you, Helen. And you know that I would do anything to be with you. I do mean anything.

Helen: Paul.

Paul: Helen...

Helen: What happened to you?

Paul: Lex. Lex did this to me.

Helen: Lex, we need to talk.

Lex: What's going on?

Helen: Paul claims you had him beaten up.

Lex: And from the tone of your voice, it sounds like you believe him.

Helen: For two weeks now you've been ignoring me. Suddenly Paul shows up and you're jealous.

Lex: I'm not jealous. I'm concerned. Especially about someone who's unhinged enough to do that to himself. Helen, he's clearly stalking you.

Helen: You know, I don't understand it. I mean, we were never that serious. It was a relationship of convenience. There was no heavy emotional involvement.

Lex: Could've fooled him. Who broke it off?

Helen: I did. One of his ex-girlfriends warned me to stay away from him. She claimed that he beat her up.

Lex: Did she ever report him to the police?

Helen: No. But I wasn't gonna wait around to see if history repeated itself. So I broke it off and we never spoke after that. Three months later he dropped out of school.

Adams: Mr. Luthor. You're just the man I was looking for.

Lex: I didn't have Paul Hayden beaten up.

Adams: You know, I usually like to ask the questions before I get the answers. Kind of the natural flow of things. Where were you earlier this evening?

Lex: At home. A fact my staff can confirm.

Adams: Uh-huh, so you did not threaten Paul Hayden in the medical center parking lot?

Lex: He's stalking my girlfriend.

Adams: Well, according to him, he offered her some flowers, a ride home. That's not exactly criminal behavior.

Lex: Listen, Sheriff, if you want to play Letter of the Law, you go right ahead. I just hope your professional instincts lead you back in the right direction.

Adams: Oh, don't worry. They always do, Mr. Luthor. I'll stay in touch.

Lex: Good morning, Clark.

Clark: Look, don't even start. I've had half of Smallville High out here already giving me a hard time.

Lex: Would it be, uh, violating your parole to take a coffee break?

Clark: It'd be the least of my problems. That kid who harassed Lana is suing us. He could literally take the farm. It's hard to believe someone could come into your life and just screw it up. Lana's a wreck, I'm picking up trash, and this guy's walking around free.

Lex: I wouldn't worry too much about Lana.

Clark: Why's that?

Lex: Let's just say the crouching tigress is about to find her hidden dragon.

Lana: I can't even get the bag to move. I don't see how I'm supposed to take on a guy who's twice my size.

Lex: Lana, getting the upper hand isn't about size. It's about decisiveness and speed. You have to commit. Look, right now you're only putting part of yourself into it. If you want
to effective, you have to put your whole body into it. Okay?

Lana: Okay.

Lex: There you go. That's it. Now channel all your anger.

Lana: Some of us aren't as angry as you are, Lex.

Lex: Of course not. I mean, what's to be angry about? Hmm? It's not like a bunch of frat boys came into your own place and harassed you. It's not like you felt helpless when that guy shoved you. And I know it doesn't make you mad that you needed Clark Kent to save you again. Better.

Clark: Andy.

Andy: Whoa, whoa. Restraining order says you can't come within 500 feet of me, Kent.

Clark: I just want to talk.

Andy: Anything you got to say, you can say to my lawyer.

Clark: Well, let me apologize.

Andy: It's too late! What?

Clark: Look, we both made mistakes the other night. And I understand that you're mad at me, but this lawsuit could ruin my family. Just leave them out of it.

Andy: I'll see you in court, and if you break this restraining order again, I'll have the sheriff all over your ass!

Guy: Man, don't hurt yourself.

Chloe: What's up?

Clark: Andy Connors is faking his injuries.

Chloe: Well, that's an intriguing claim, but as the defendant, I doubt your case holds much water.

Clark: Well, I... I followed him home. I saw him take his neck brace off. I was trying to gather some evidence on him so I could nail him.

Chloe: Well, you know I'm always up for a good conspiracy.

Clark: Thanks, Chloe.

Chloe: Or if all else fails, we could send Lana out to beat the confession out of him. It was a joke, Clark. Why do I get the feeling that you're not impressed with Lana turning all Charlie's Angels on us?

Clark: I know Lex's intentions are good. But what if she gets overconfident and finds herself in a situation she can't handle?

Chloe: Clark, as a 6-foot-whatever guy, you have no idea what it feels like to have to cross the street at night when you hear footsteps behind you. If getting a little girl power makes Lana feel like less of a victim, then you should be all for it.

Clark: I guess.

Chloe: Or is it that you're secretly worried that if Lana learns to defend herself, she won't need a knight in shining armor to rescue her anymore?

Helen: Doctor?

Helen: Paul. What are you doing here?

Paul: I had to see you alone.

Helen: All right, well, why don't we go upstairs and we can talk about it over coffee?

Paul: No, we can't go and have coffee, THANK YOU VERY MUCH! When you broke up with me, I thought that it was because you knew I was never gonna be a great doctor. You were right. That's why I quit. If you can't be great, why bother at all? That's what you always used to say, right?

Helen: Paul...

Paul: I was working on becoming successful so that I could have you back! Then I found out that you were with Luthor and I knew that I had to save you from that fraud.

Helen: I don't want you to save me. Look, I broke up with you because you beat your ex-girlfriend.

Paul: Oh, oh, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. She was so beneath me. That's not the case with you and I. You and I were meant for each other.

Helen: I love Lex.

Paul: No. You don't. You love me. You just don't know it yet.

Helen: Get away from me, Paul! Hello?

Lex: Helen, it's me. Look, you're right, I've been distant the last few weeks, but that's gonna change. I'm on my way over so we can talk. Helen?

Helen: I'm busy with a patient... in the pathology lab.

Lex: Helen?

Paul: That was him, wasn't it? It was him. Wasn't it?! He doesn't love you! Can't you see that?

Lex: Helen, what's going on?

Paul: Get up here. Get up here, come on!

Lex: Helen?!

Helen: Paul, no! No! Aah!

Lex: Helen! Helen! Helen! Helen!

Doctor: Get her to ER! I need to 2 cc EPI and an IV push. Stat! Stat!

Clark: Smallville is officially litter free.

Lana: You must be exhausted.

Clark: Well, frustrated and humiliated, yes. Exhausted, no. Hey, I can stick around for a little while if you want.

Lana: I'm fine, Clark.

Clark: I know. I just thought you might want some company. Karate class? I take it the meeting with Lex went well.

Lana: Lex has a way of bringing out a side of me that's both scary and liberating at the same time.

Clark: Well, you know the first rule of self-defense is to avoid conflict.

Lana: Relax, Clark, I'm not about to go prowling the night fighting crime. I'll leave that to the expert.

Clark: Well, you can trust me, there's no future in fighting crime unless you enjoy being sued. You know what the worst part is? I know that he's faking. I just don't have proof. I was gonna follow him with a camera, but I'd be violating the restraining order.

Lana: Well, what about me?

Clark: What about you?

Lana: I want to see him go down as badly as you do. Let me help.

Clark: No, that'd be too dangerous.

Lana: Clark, the law's not on our side. What's are we supposed to do?

Lex: Meacham, where the hell are you? I need to know where Hayden is now!

Adams: Mr. Luthor? I am sorry about Dr. Bryce, but I hope you are not planning to take the law into your own hands.

Lex: The woman I love is fighting for her life, Sheriff, so you'll have to forgive my lack of faith in Smallville's finest.

Adams: I have roadblocks up across every major highway. I have deputies canvassing the area, and I am waiting for a warrant on his motel room.

Lex: How long will that take?

Adams: It will take a little while, but I have rung every judge's bell in Lowell County.

Lex: Well, I'm certainly glad you're doing everything humanly possible.

Adams: Mr. Luthor, where are you going? If I find you have tampered with this investigation--

Lex: You'll what?! You'll arrest me and make me pick up trash?

Adams: You are not above the law, Mr. Luthor.

Lex: Thank you for that bracing insight. Am I free to go now? Meacham!

Clark: Lex? Sheriff, I heard about Dr. Bryce. Is she okay?

Adams: It's still touch and go.

Clark: Was it Paul Hayden?

Adams: Mr. Kent, do I have to remind you about involving yourself in police business? Where do we stand on that warrant for Hayden's room at the Heartland?

Officer: Twenty minutes. We have cars standing by.

Lex: Clark, how did you get--

Clark: The same way you did. What are you doing here, Lex?

Lex: Look, stay out of this.

Clark: I know you want to nail this guy.

Lex: But what? I should leave it to the pros? Hayden's car is still here, okay? I had a guy on him. Now he's no-- Son of a bitch, he's got Meacham's car.

Clark: Lex, we got company.

Lex: Lojack system said the car was here.

Clark: I thought only the police had access to Lojack.

Lex: Let's split up.

Clark: No, I think we should wait for Sheriff Adams.

Lex: You wait. I'm gonna go look around.

Paul: If you pull that trigger, you're going to be the one going to prison.

Lex: Not if it's self defense.

Lex: I guess I forgot to load it.

Paul: You're just full of surprises today, aren't you?

Lex: Goodbye, Paul.

Clark: Lex!

Adams: Hands up! Get rid of that gun, and put that gun on the table right now. Put it on the table now!

Lex: Last time I checked, citizen's arrests are still legal in Kansas.

Adams: Oh, man. I'm telling you, if I catch you meddling in a police investigation again, I swear... heaven help you.

Lana: Thanks for coming.

Andy: Well, this better be good to get me out of bed so early.

Lana: Listen, Andy, um, I'm really sorry about what happened the other night, but I think this has gotten a little out of hand. The lawsuit?

Andy: Don't worry about it. It's Kent's problem.

Lana: I know you're faking your injuries. I think you should drop the suit before you get caught.

Andy: You didn't call me here to talk about no lawsuit, did you.

Lana: Touch me again, and you'll have some real soft-tissue injury.

Andy: You can play hard to get, but we both know you want me. So why don't we take this into the back.

Lana: Hi, Clark.

Clark: I just got a phone call saying that Andy dropped the lawsuit. Any idea what could've made him do that?

Lana: Maybe he just realized that you were trying to help a friend.

Clark: The sheriff told me you have quite a spin kick. I'm sorry I missed it.

Lana: So you heard about that.

Clark: Lana...

Lana: Clark, I know what you're gonna say. I shouldn't have gotten involved, but--

Clark: I just wanted to say thank you.

Lana: Oh. Well, you've been there for me so many times. I wanted to repay you. Besides, it's not every day that Lana Lang gets a chance to save Clark Kent.

Clark: Yeah.

Helen: I thought you had a board meeting.

Lex: I canceled it for personal reasons.

Helen: That's a first.

Lex: My lawyer told me that Paul is pleading temporary insanity.

Helen: Lex, I don't want--

Lex: I told him not to fight the plea. Paul needs help. I wanted to kill him, Helen. I wanted to kill him for what he did to you. I probably could've gotten away with it in everyone's eyes, but one person would've known the truth.

Helen: Clark?

Lex: You. Clark didn't save me in that moment, Helen. You did. And that's when I knew. So what do you say, Dr. Bryce? Will you marry me?

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