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Smallville Transcripts


First aired April 22, 2011


Provided by Suzan D.

Clark: Lois, we're going against traffic.

Lois: That's sort of the point here, Clark. Try and keep up.

Clark: These glasses are driving me crazy.

Lois: So you've said.

Clark: And this jacket ... it's not helping.

Lois: Okay, you were the one who chose to take his hero game public, so either The Blur starts wearing a mask or...

Clark: … Clark Kent does. I know.

Lois: Your words, not mine.

Clark: Look, after all the hero hating of the VRA, if The Blur doesn't show his face soon... People are gonna stop trusting me again.

Lois: That didn't stop the Mayor from offering The Blur the key to the city.

Clark: Yeah, but that's ...

Lois: Yeah, but before that handsome hero face ends up on JumboTron screens in all your red-and-blue glory, we need to make sure that there is nothing handsome or heroic about Clark Kent.

Clark: And that's supposed to help?

Lois: Yes! So, just ... I don't know ... slope your shoulders a little bit, speak a little softer, and stop being so... so...

Clark: What? ...

Lois: … Great! Honey, you need to be invisible and forgettable and ... exactly like that. What is it?

Clark: Lois, I was like that, in Smallville. The thought of going back to that, I...

Lois: Clark... The real you can burn holes through buildings with a look and lift a freight train with one finger. Get over it.

Clark: You know, the last thing you should be worried about is teaching me Mild-Mannered 101. You should be focused on that promotion that opened up now that Steve Lombard went to the Daily Star. They said that desk could be yours.

Lois: I'm counting on it. These need to stay on. Just work on it.

Boy: Hey... Guys! Wait ... gu ...

Skeets: Brilliant save, sir.

Booster: Of course it was, Skeets. Say "cheese," Junior.

Boy: Uh, "cheese"?

Booster: Life lesson to remember, kid ... always keep yourself open to the cameras.

Boy: Who are you?

Booster: I'm sure you're all wondering who I am. Well, how about the 411? I'm pure gold, ladies and gentlemen. I am Booster Gold, the greatest hero you've never heard of... Till now! Later today, at the Ace of Clubs, I'll be signing autographs. Stop on by. If you need a hero... Ping me. Nice glasses. Remember … it’s Booster … Gold!

Clark: He said "nice glasses," like he knew who I really was.

Lois: Maybe he just liked your glasses. Or not. Are you sure you've never seen him before?

Clark: How could you miss that? Booster Gold didn't come here for no reason. I need to figure out who he is and why he's here.

Man: Hey, hey, watch it! When did you forget how to walk, Kent?

Clark: Sorry.

Lois: Clark. Just excuse him. I'm trying to help.

Clark: "Help." By making me stumble into Ron Troupe?

Lois: Yeah. It's a start. Clark, you want people to look down on Clark Kent so they can look up... to The Blur. Which, by the way, isn't exactly gonna be a fitting name after you, you know, stop blurring and start standing in the spotlight.

Clark: Well, the spotlight's kind of crowded with Booster Gold.

Lois: Okay, not that my curiosity isn't in overdrive about Booster Boy, but you are making way more out of this than you need to. Okay?

Clark: Okay.

Lois: I'm sure our flying car salesman will buzz off as fast as he buzzed in.

Booster: Either one's fine. I don't really have a bad side, guys.

Clark: You're sitting at my desk.

Booster: Yeah, I can read. So, where is the greatest reporter that this city has ever known?

Lois: All right, everybody, back to work.

Booster: Mm, there you are ... the hero maker. Excuse me. Lois Lane. Booster Gold.

Lois: What can I do for you?

Booster: We're gonna help each other, gorgeous, because one exclusive in-depth interview with the gold guardian of Metropolis, and you're gonna lock up that promotion that you're up for. It's a Booster Gold guarantee.

Lois: How did you know I was up for a... never mind. I'm not interested in you, Goldilocks, and neither is The Daily Planet. So why don't you see if you can fit that big old head of yours through the exit door?

Skeets: Sir?

Booster: My agent.

Skeets: You're going to be late for the signing.

Booster: Excuse me, folks, but... duty calls. We should do lunch... soon. Booster! See you later, pumpkin.

Cat: Booster, wait!

Lois: What an ass.

Cat: You mean "asset."

Lois: What?

Cat: You wanted me to believe in heroes, Lois ... well, I think I finally might. He isn't hiding anything. You can see his face. His name ...

Lois: … is Booster Gold.

Cat: Booster Gold could be the city's answer to inspiration... and my answer to that promotion.

Lois: You're up for my promotion?

Cat: It isn't yours just yet. And thanks to my reporting on the VRA, I've gathered myself a small but vocal fan base. You should read their tweets. They love me. And it's enough to convince the powers-that-be to put my hat in the ring for the desk upstairs. May the best reporter win.

Lois: Cat Grant ... like nails on a chalkboard.

Clark: She's not as bad as he is.

Lois: Booster Gold's star will burn out faster than you can say "Up, up, and away." Now let's focus on what's really important here.

Clark: And what is that, Lois?

Lois: Unmaking Clark Kent so that we can get The Blur out there.

Girl: Here, Jaime.

Jaime: Thanks, Dora.

Dora: Sorry. I forgot I dropped it.

Lois: That's it.

Jaime: What does it say this time?

Lois: "Kick Me." A classic.

Jaime: I've had worse.

Lois: Listen, kid. You should stand up for yourself. Don't slouch, talk with confidence, and stop being so... so shy. It's okay to get mad.

Jaime: I-I guess so.

Lois: Now, you go back over there, and tell them ... tell them you're mad as hell and you're not gonna take it anymore. Oh, just try it with me.

Jaime: I-I'm... I'm mad as hell, and I'm not gonna take it anymore.

Lois: Okay. Now, like ... like, punish them with it, you know? Just …

Jaime: I'm mad as hell, and I'm not gonna take it anymore.

Lois: Okay, look, it's eat or be eaten. So you get over there and enjoy your meal, right? Go ahead! Maybe he'll grow out of it.

Jaime: No! Oh, what's happening to me?

Booster: Have you or a loved one ever felt like you needed help from someone who really cares? Are you sick of all those masked men blurring their way in and out without so much as a hello or goodbye? Well, don't settle for anything less than the gold standard, as in... Booster Gold!

Lois: I appreciate the thought, but you have to stop it. The all-new, all-different Clark would not be sending me roses. He's allergic to them, remember?

Clark: I didn't send these. Booster.

Lois: Ew. Okay. Romeo will take the hint soon enough and lose interest. But you're obviously not.

Clark: Did you know in the last 24 hours Booster Gold has made it to every major accident and crime scene in the city?

Lois: Okay, not to ask the obvious, but what's wrong with having another hero in town? I mean, aside from his ridiculous personality. You know, Clark, if I didn't know better, I'd say you were jealous of this guy.

Clark: Jealous? Me? No. Lois... Okay. ...He seems to know when and where these things are gonna happen. But he doesn't stop the accident. He just sweeps in at the last second. He makes the save, and he gets the photo-op.

Lois: Okay, so drama sells.

Clark: So do ratings. He's on every single station. But if people find out that he's doing this for personal fame, they're gonna lose faith in the heroes just like they did before. Booster is the least of our problem.

Kord: Look, I've never been comfortable in a suit and tie. I'm more at home in the lab...

Lois: Hey, I recognize him.

Kord: ...inventing and testing new technology...

Clark: It's Ted Kord. Kord industries.

Lois: Kord industries.

Kord: That's why I founded Kord industries. The Blackwater of the Midwest.

Clark: Some kind of high-tech device went missing when one of his trucks crashed into Booster Gold. Now, Kord claims that his company is all about technology, but their research and development includes many things that are not listed on their annual stock report.

Lois: Like what?

Clark: Disarming recovered superweapons. Lois, I need to clean up Booster's mess and find this missing tech. It could be dangerous.

Lois: And I'll see what I can uncover about our gold-plated glory hound.

Booster: Thanks for being my number-one fan. Thanks for being my number-one fan. Thanks for being my number-one fan.

Cat: Awesome. Hello. Cat Grant of The Daily Planet.

Booster: Well, thanks for being my number-one fan.

Cat: I find it so refreshing that at least one hero out there doesn't have anything to hide. I mean, who would want to hide that face?

Booster: Hm. Did you have something for me to sign?

Cat: Uh, I-I know you're hoping to be interviewed by Lois Lane, but ...

Booster: Sorry, blondie. Not interested. It's got to be Lois Lane or nobody.

Cat: You may have a line of people waiting for your autograph, but don't put yourself on a pedestal just yet. You want a fan base bigger than The Blur? I can do that for you. I have a following of my own, you know.

Skeets: Sir, you have a message from Miss Lane.

Booster: Did she get the flowers?

Skeets: They were signed for, sir. And apparently they worked.

Booster: Her interview made you-know-who the hero of Metropolis. Not if I get there first this time around. I should have come back here a long time ago. Where does she want to meet?

Skeets: Actually, she's closing in on you now.

Cat: Sir, um, excuse me. Oh.

Booster: Miss Lane. Your endorsement is gonna take me right to the top.

Lois: I didn't come here to endorse you, superstar. I came here to tell you to hit the skies. Metropolis is The Blur's jurisdiction.

Booster: Is it?

Lois: Yeah.

Booster: That's funny. That's not what these people are saying. Hey! See, perception is reality, Miss Lane. Look at the reality that I've created. People are excited about a hero that they can actually see.

Lois: Hmm.

Booster: They want to look up in the sky. They need to look up in the sky. The Blur is just not giving it to them. But me ... I am delivering the goods, baby.

Lois: Heroism is not for sale.

Booster: Oh, everything's for sale... if not for rent.

Lois: And that's why you'll never be anything like The Blur.

Booster: You just don't get it, do you, gorgeous?

Lois: Apparently not.

Booster: I didn't come here to be like The Blur. I came here to replace him.

Lois: That'll never happen.

Skeets: Are you sure trying to usurp Clark Kent's Destiny for your own is a wise decision, sir?

Booster: "Greatest Hero on Earth." Ooh. Skeets, that's a pretty good job description.

Skeets: But, sir...

Booster: Skeets, what other choice do I have? After all that's happened, this is my last chance to be somebody again... By grabbing Clark Kent's place in history.

Cat: I saw him first.

Lois: Who?

Cat: Who else? Booster Gold. I know you're competitive, Lois, but you can't just sweep in and take my story. You didn't want anything to do with him before I did.

Lois: I don't want to have anything to do with him... or you.

Cat: Booster's more real than The Blur. How many times have we seen The Blur's face? How many times has The Blur told us why he's protecting us?

Lois: It's not for a paycheck, Cat. And real heroes don't stop to strike a pose.

Cat: Real heroes don't have anything to hide.

Lois: The Blur has reasons for every single thing he does.

Cat: So does Booster Gold. You keep backing your horse, Lois, and I'll back mine.

Kord: We can't replace what's been lost, Sonia. So send out the entire field team. We're not leaving Metropolis until we find it.

Clark: Excuse me, Mr. Kord. Who are you?

Clark: Clark Kent, Daily... Daily Planet.

Kord: Press? Listen, I already told them ... I'm only giving statements, no interviews. How'd you get through security? Security!

Clark: As one of the nation's leading industrialists, I know how busy you must be, Mr. Kord, which means this thing must be really important if you came all the way from Chicago to lead up the lost and found yourself.

Kord: No comment.

Clark: Sir, how important is this weapon? How dangerous is it?

Kord: Who said we were looking for a weapon? What's your name again?

Clark: Kent Cla ... Cl-Clark Kent. I'm sorry. I work for The Daily Planet. Well...we ... we already went over that. I'm a reporter, but I’m a … I'm not a front-page reporter, though. I sit next to someone who told me that you used to work for the government. And, uh, ... is there a restroom I could use here? I had a milkshake on the way in, and I...

Kord: I trust you'll go out the same way you came in.

Clark: Thank you.

Aide: I have Booster Gold on the line, sir.

Kord: You can assure me you'll be discreet? This incident is already drawing more attention than I am comfortable with.

Booster: I'm happy to help you find your missing trinket, Mr. Kord.

Kord: It is not a trinket. It is a weapon ... a very dangerous one, especially to anyone who finds it. You need to handle it with caution.

Booster: I will, as soon as we make a deal.

Kord: Well, I'm sure we can work out some kind of a reward, Mr. Gold.

Booster: I had something in mind. I know you and the mayor ... you're like peanut butter and jelly. You pull some strings, get me the key to the city, I'll help you find whatever you need me to find.

Kord: You want the key to the city.

Booster: Let's just say it's the last thing on my to-do list. So can you swing it or not?

Kord: Whatever it takes to get the scarab back.

Clark: Lois …

Booster: All right, all right. I like it, I like it. You know what? I'm gonna need a sound check. I want to make sure they can hear my acceptance speech.

Skeets: Will you be thanking anyone, sir?

Booster: Me... And maybe my mom. People love that sentimental stuff. It scores pretty big with the ladies, too.

Jaime: Booster Gold?

Booster: Hey, a fan!

Jaime: I-I-I need your help. Something happened to me.

Booster: Look, if you need anything, call the hotline, all right?

Jaime: I-I tried. They said you were here.

Booster: I am here, but...I'm kind of busy.

Jaime: I … But I don't know what to do! It... It attacked me.

Booster: Sorry. Here. Listen, I'll make sure they pencil you in. All right? You look all right to me.

Jaime: I'm not all right at all.

Booster: Okay! Ladies... Who wants to be the star of the show? Just kidding. I'm the star of the show. You're gonna wave, you're gonna smile, but I do need somebody to hand me the key to the city. Who's that gonna be?

Cat: I'll do it.

Booster: Yeah … you sure will.

Jaime: No! No! Destroy.

Lois: What? What is it, Clark?

Clark: The billboard.

Lois: Yes! They put them up already.

Clark: Lois, what are you doing?

Lois: Well, I had a run-in with our gloating guardian, and he actually thinks he can replace you.

Clark: I appreciate the support, but this is not a competition.

Lois: Clark, I am not gonna let The Blur be forgotten because some bright and shiny object flies up into the sky.

Clark: Booster is not the bright and shiny object we need to be worried about.

Lois: What is this? A bug?

Clark: That's what Ted Kord is looking for. I checked the file. It's some sort of extraterrestrial technology. And when they brought this scarab in for study, it bonded with one of Kord's scientists like it was a parasite. The guy's name was Dan Garrett. He and the scarab merged as one. Garrett killed three people, and then he died when they tried to take it off.

Lois: And this thing is somewhere in Metropolis.

Clark: Yeah. Kord hired Booster to bring it back in exchange for the key to the city.

Lois: Your key to the city. He's been here like a day. I mean, if there was ever a time for The Blur to debut his dashing smile ...

Clark: You know I can't do that yet.

Lois: No, not until we've reverse-"Pygmalion"ed this serious stud into a blunder of beige. Still, I'd love to see you boost our golden boy up into the stratosphere. Well... speak of the showboat.

Clark: Booster.

Booster: Hey! Blur boy. I mean, Clark. I saw the sign. Touché. I was calling Lois to thank her for the photo-op.

Clark: Look, we need to get together, and we need to find Kord's missing weapon. It's dangerous.

Booster: "Danger"! It's my middle name. So is "fame, fortune, and front page," Clark.

Clark: We need to talk. Now!

Booster: Fine. But first... I mean, can you smell it? That's impending fame. It's really true what they say about Metropolis. I mean, it has everything... except somebody to look up to.

Clark: And that’s you.

Booster: It's gonna be me. Yeah.

Clark: You save people for profit, for fame, while the real heroes ... they're out there earning back the people's trust. You're putting me and my friends at risk.

Booster: No one's at risk. All right? Not as long as I keep flying in for that heroic rescue.

Clark: Legion ring. You're from the future? You're a Legionnaire?

Booster: Not exactly. But they're really good friends of mine. Ah, they're more like acquaintances, actually.

Clark: You stole that ring!

Booster: I borrowed the ring. But, like the Legion, yes, I'm from the future, Clark. And I always know exactly what to do at exactly the right time, thanks to the assistance of my ...historical data droid. Say hello, Skeets.

Skeets: Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Kent.

Clark: Time travel's nothing to play around with. The fact that you're here means you've already changed history, and I doubt that Skeets has any record of what happened to Kord's scarab.

Skeets: Negative, sir.

Booster: It doesn't matter. I can handle whatever comes around the corner, Clark. Listen, you're talking to the single greatest hero of the 25th century, all right? I'm worshipped by billions. I'm kind of a big deal.

Clark: Until someone gets hurt.

Booster: It's not gonna happen. Trust me. Besides... I know what this is really about. You can't stand the fact that people are choosing me over you, right? I understand. I get it. You want the glory, don't you? I'm gonna give you your chance to claim it. See, right through here, I'm about to get the key to the city. And history says whoever gets the key becomes this city's Man of Steel. Or Gold. All you got to do is show me up. Reveal yourself to the world. Put that suit on display and...steal my thunder. What do you say?

Clark: The suit doesn't make the hero. A hero's made in the moment by the choices that he makes and the reasons that he makes them. A hero brings out the best in people. I don't doubt that behind that star, there is a hero... But I haven't seen him. Not yet.

Booster: I knew you wouldn't have the cojones to smile for the camera, Clark. I knew it.

Skeets: They're ready for you, sir.

Booster: That's my cue. Oh, and, Clark... Hang up the glasses and the red and blue suit. You're not gonna be needing them anymore. The world has me now.

Booster: Okay, let's rehearse this one more time. Thank you, Mr. Mayor. Thank you all for this opportunity to protect and serve this great city of Metropolis. And then you would say... "Now me and my city would like to thank you, "the powerful, the intelligent, the... humble Booster Gold!"

Jaime: No. Target. Destroy. Don't! Destroy. Stop! Stop! Don't!

Booster: Skeets... This wasn't supposed to happen. What's going on?

Jaime: No, don't.

Skeets: I have no record of this or our apparent attacker, sir. It appears Clark Kent may be correct. Our presence here has made my historical data somewhat inaccurate.

Jaime: I'm sorry!

Cat: Booster! What are you gonna do?!

Jaime: No.

Skeets: May I offer a piece of advice from your former career, sir?

Booster: Football?

Skeets: Go big or go home.

Cat: The Blur.

Booster: Hey!

Jaime: No. No.

Booster: One move, bug... I will zap you to honeybee heaven.

Jaime: I can't ... I can't ... I can't do anything! Mr. Gold?

Booster: You're that kid.

Jaime: I can't control this suit. Please, help me!

Booster: Listen, kid, I'm sorry I blew you off earlier.

Jaime: You can help me! You're a hero!

Booster: No, I'm not. Not like you think I am, kid. But, l-listen, you can be. S-someone once told me that the suit doesn't make the hero, so you ... you fight it!

Jaime: I-I can't... Control this thing.

Booster: Yes, you can! Fight it! You can be a hero. You just have to have faith in what you are... and what you're going to be. It's your choice, kid. You choose.

Jaime: Okay. Okay. I can ... I can do this. I ca ... I can do this! I can ... I can do it! I can do it. I can do it.

Booster: Kid... You all right?

Jaime: Yeah.

Booster: All right. Whoa.

Jaime: Thanks.

Clark: You surprised me.

Booster: I surprised myself. But still, I screwed up ... major. I thought if I did everything you did, or are going to do, I could take your spot in history.

Clark: Question is, why?

Booster: "Why?" I forget, you've never felt it. The rush of being out there and being that miracle that people are hoping for, looking people in the eye and letting them know, "you're gonna be safe." You never want to let that feeling end. That poor kid down there ... He took the brunt of my ego, Clark. I mean, I always knew all of this was gonna blow up in my face sooner or later. I mean, it always does. The truth is... I am from the future, but I'm no hero. I was a sports star... who started betting on his own games. And then I started throwing them. It was easier to lose than try to win.

Clark: You still feel that way now?

Booster: No. I don't. But the damage is done now. I mean, in the future, I got caught. My fame, my fortune went right down the toilet, along with my dignity and my reputation and... You were right. I stole the ring. I stole the suit, even Skeets.

Skeets: Affirmative, sir.

Booster: I came here to make a fresh start, and I made all the same mistakes. My own sister ... she said the exact same thing to me when my football career ended. She said, "the suit doesn't make the hero."

Clark: You helped Jaime break free of that scarab.

Booster: I was using your words.

Clark: It doesn't matter. The fact is, in the moment, you believed them. So did he.

Booster: Look, I, uh... I better get heading back.

Clark: When you still have work to do here? Ted Kord agreed to remove the scarab. But Jaime will need someone to watch over him. I know. It's not the front-page victory you were looking for, but it's an important one.

Booster: Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know what? I got some advice for you, too.

Clark: What's that?

Booster: "The Blur." No. No, no, no. It sounds like a roller coaster or something. You need something strong. You need something simple. Something that actually starts with that "s" you wear. Something... Super. You got to brand it, baby. You know?

Clark: I'll start brainstorming.

Booster: All right. Oh, Clark. You're an XL, right?

Kord: This boy is absolutely unique. He managed to shut down the scarab.

Lois: I'm guessing not everyone has what it takes to do that. So, Mr. Kord, does this mean you'll be able to remove it from him?

Jaime: I ... no. I mean, will that take away the power it gives me?

Kord: Yes, but ...

Jaime: I want to learn how to use them. I want to be a hero like Booster Gold.

Booster: I don't know, kid. You know... What do you say we give Miss Lane here an exclusive on the real hero of the day? Huh?

Lois: Let's take this interview outside.

Cat: Congratulations on the promotion, Lois.

Lois: What's the catch?

Cat: No catch. You deserved it. I guess I went a little too far trying to compete. I so badly wanted to be the voice of a hero, too, that I nearly lost my head. Figuratively and literally. Thankfully, I didn't.

Lois: You want to know how to be a great reporter? Do it your way. Be yourself. What's with the box? Moving on?

Cat: Oh. Moving in. You may be going upstairs, but I'll be keeping cozy right down here. Just a few desks over.

Clark: Is that the last of it, Lois?

Lois: Clark, meet your new desk buddy.

Clark: Really? I'm so sorry.

Cat: Lois... Clark's nice and all, if you want to invest in a fixer-upper, but he's no Blur.

Lois: No. No, he's not.

Clark: After seeing all the trouble that Booster went through, hiding his insecurities, I think I can make the glasses work. But...

Lois: But what, Smallville? You owned it today. You went from sleek to geek in under 24 hours. What could be wrong with that?

Clark: I saw the way Cat looked at me. I also heard what she said.

Lois: Yeah. And it's perfect.

Clark: It's not perfect. Lois, it doesn't matter what people say about me. This is about you.

Lois: Me?

Clark: You see, I can fly under the radar. I can live down expectations of Clark Kent as long as The Blur's out there saving people, but...

Lois: But what?

Clark: What are people gonna think about you? The strong and... extremely sexy Lois Lane wants to marry... this new Clark Kent. How could they ever understand that you'd be interested in this?

Lois: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Stop right there. Oh, trust me, Smallville. We can make this work. Oh, boy, can we.

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Updated 1/3/15  


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