Mr. Melville: You know, uh, if you're not in the mood for my spaghetti, we
could always order in Thai.
Jody: No spaghetti, no Thai. I-I want to look good for Lana's birthday party.
Mr. Melville: I just think that maybe you're focusing a little too hard on
this one party.
Jody: It's not just the party. It's everything. It's - nobody likes me, and
why should they? I'm a cow. But... I've got a new plan -- from now on, no more
food - just this.
Chloe: Cutting the heads off supermodels - It's kind of redundant, isn't it.
Jody: Just looking for outfit ideas. I still don't have anything to wear to
Lana's party. What's up?
Chloe: Uh, Pete and I were kind of hoping you could give us a quick algebra
Jody: I thought Clark usually helps you guys.
Pete: He's a little preoccupied helping the birthday girl.
Chloe: We'll even buy you lunch.
Pete: That looks, uh... appetizing.
Jody: Losing weight is never pretty.
Dustin: Hey, Ross, we're getting a little game together. You want in, or you
want to keep whale watching?
Pete: Dustin, back off.
Dustin: Ooh, chill out, cool guy. I didn't know you were a cubby chaser. Oh!
Pete: Jody, wait!
Dustin: Oh, man. You'd think someone that big would have a thicker skin.
Chloe: You'd think someone that stupid would have a thicker head.
Mr. Melville: Jody, we've talked about this. Starving yourself isn't the way.
Jody: I'm tired of waiting - waiting and weighing and keeping a diary of
everything that I eat so that I can feel guilty if I have one extra grape.
Mr. Melville: I understand all of that, but you can't just stop eating. It's
Mr. Melville: Honey, you're beautiful already, just like your mother.
Jody: No, Dad, I'm not. Mom wasn't fat.
Doctor Vargas: Okay, that's enough.
Lex: Done already?
Doctor Vargas: Yeah. It looks like your heart could go on like that forever.
Lex: Good. Then I won't have to go through this physical nonsense for five
Doctor Vargas: Well, let's hope not. There is one thing I need to talk to you
about. Your blood work came in. You have an unusually elevated white cell count.
Lex: What? Like Leukemia? That's not likely. I don't get sick.
Doctor Vargas: Are you on any medication?
Doctor Vargas: Do you have any allergies?
Doctor Vargas: Childhood illness?
Doctor Vargas: When did that stop?
Lex: The day I lost my hair. Is this going somewhere?
Doctor Vargas: If this were anywhere else, I'd order a battery of tests, but
I do see a lot of this in Smallville.
Lex: Why should Smallville be any different?
Doctor Vargas: Well... Some say it's because the LutherCorp plant has
contaminated the environment.
Lex: I very much doubt that. Let's order those tests.
Nell: Now, I want this to be special. What do you think about a 3-tier
Lana: Thanks for the lifeline.
Clark: It's a math midterm. It's not like I pulled you out of a burning
Lana: I still appreciate it.
Nell: Lana, I just wanted to get your opinion on the balloons. I think white
always looks good.
Lana: Works for me.
Lana: This whole birthday extravaganza has been pretty distracting.
Clark: Having a birthday party at Lex's mansion seems pretty cool to me.
Lana: It stopped being my party a long time ago. If it was up to me, it would
be pizza and loud music with my friends.
Clark: Did you tell Nell that?
Lana: We've been through a lot in the past few months. I figure I should give
her this one.
Whitney: Lana, guess what?
Lana: The scout called!
Whitney: I just head - I go the tryout with Kansas State!
Lana: That's incredible!
Clark: Hey, congrats.
Whitney: I haven't said yes yet. They want me there on Saturday, but that's
your big night.
Lana: It's Nell's big night. I was just telling Clark it wasn't important.
Clark: Yeah, scout's honor.
Lana: I want you to go.
Clark: Hey, I'll catch up with you guys later.
Pete: Clark, I'm telling you - this is good news for you.
Clark: Kansas State gives Whitney a full scholarship and Lana gives him a
tongue bath. How is that good news?
Chloe: Even I'm having a hard time following the skewed Ross logic.
Pete: Lana's gonna be dateless for her own party.
Jody: Hi. Pete.
Chloe: You look...
Chloe: I was still looking for an euphemism, but yeah.
Clark: Are you okay?
Jody: Never better. My diet's just starting to pay off. I bought some new
Pete: You look great.
Jody: Thank you for sticking up for me yesterday. Most people wouldn't have
Pete: Most people can't stand Dustin.
Jody: Yeah. Listen... I was wondering - do you have a date for Lana's party?
Clark: no, he's still free.
Jody: Would you like to go with me?
Clark: He'd love to.
Jody: Great. Okay, well, I'll see you later.
Chloe: I don't get it.
Pete: Women dig me. Get used to it.
Chloe: No, I mean Jody - It's like she lost that weight overnight.
Clark: If she could, half the school would be after that secret.
Chloe: Let's go.
Martha: Lana! Hi. Come in.
Jonathan: Hey, Lana, can I, uh, interest you in a latte?
Lana: I'll pass - bad waitressing flashbacks. I brought over the produce
order for the party.
Martha: Well, you could have called it in.
Lana: and miss a chance to get out of the house? Nell's planning this party
like a royal wedding.
Martha: Oh, yeah, I can tell.
Clark: Dad, I got the post in the west field. I hit some granite, but I
jammed it through.
Lana: Very impressive.
Clark: I had a sledgehammer.
Jonathan: Somebody's gotta work around here.
Clark: I though you'd be posing for ice sculptures by now.
Lana: I'm hiding out.
Clark: You have my sympathies, and Whitney's not even here for backup.
Lana: I know. I was contemplating stowing away in the back of his truck on
Clark: A no-show at your own party - that would keep the town talking.
Lana: I wouldn't do that to Nell. It's just... All this attention is a little
Clark: You know, so I can fend off the throngs of adoring fans.
Lana: I'd like that.
Lana: I better go. Um, if I'm away too long Nell will probably send out a
Lana: And, Clark... Promise me you'll make it this time.
Clark: I promise.
Lana: Thanks. Bye.
Martha: Escort to fend off the adoring fans?
Clark: What's wrong with that?
Martha: Nothing, Clark. I just don't want to see you get hurt.
Clark: Mom, Lana and I are just friends.
Martha: Okay. I'm ...I'm officially butting out. So, what are you gonna get
her for her birthday?
Clark: I don't know. Any ideas?
Martha: My mother always said the best gifts come from the heart.
Mr. Melville: Jody, you feeling okay? You look a little...
Jody: Uh - yeah, don't worry, Dad. I'm feeling great. I even got a date for
Mr. Melville: Jody, that's terrific, but I want you to eat something more
than those, uh, shake things, all right?
Jody: You know what? I will. I'm done counting calories.
Mr. Melville: Oh, I've gotta go. Don't stay up too late.
Jody: Okay. Bye.
Chloe: Getting your morning Lana fix?
Clark: Chloe, don't you ever knock?
Chloe: It's a barn, Clark.
Clark: Is there a reason you're here so early or do you just enjoy busting my
Chloe: Little of both. Did you hear about the accident last night? A deer was
his on Route 5.
Clark: That's not exactly Wall of Weird material.
Chloe: Check out the paper. Animal control said that the deer died of causes
Chloe: Well... Not much unknown about a bumper at 60 miles an hour.
Clark: I'd love to run down theories with you, but I've got chores to do. I
still haven't figured out what to get Lana for her birthday.
Chloe: Well, you or your family knows people at animal control, right?
Clark: One of the perks of growing upon a farm.
Chloe: Well, I was thinking, maybe we could stop by there before school. You
could use your pull. We could take a couple of pictures. I'll help you out with
your gift-giving dilemma.
Clark: Okay. But I want it to be something unique.
Chloe: Just don't make it as unique as what you gave me last year.
Chloe: Very impressive use of pull: "Can I use your bathroom?"
Clark: I can't believe we're creeping around looking for road kill.
Chloe: The deer's in there. The door's locked. Um, I'm gonna go find a
Clark: Chloe, it's open.
Chloe: How'd you do that?
Clark: Kent charm.
Chloe: Lift it up. Go.
Clark: Looks like jerky.
Chloe: The lab report says the deer lost something like 80% of its body fat.
It's like it's been lipo-suctioned to death.
Clark: What do you think it is, Chloe - some fat-sucking vampire in town?
Chloe: This is Smallville, Clark - land of the weird, home of the strange.
Mr. Melville: Jody, honey, are you - are you okay in there?
Jody: Yeah, Dad, I'm fine.
Mr. Melville: Well, I-I'm afraid I've got some bad news. I've got to go to
Metropolis for a few days, or I'm gonna lose this client.
Jody: When will you be back?
Mr. Melville: Not till Sunday morning, which means I'm gonna miss your big
Jody: It's okay. It's no big deal.
Mr. Melville: Well, do you think maybe I could see you before I leave?
Jody: Oh. I'm kind of indecent at the moment.
Mr. Melville: Honey, I think that maybe we need to talk to somebody.
Jody: I don't need a shrink.
Mr. Melville: I just want you to look in a mirror and be happy.
Jody: Daddy, I am.
Clark: Most of my friends are trying to get out of high school.
Lex: I was meeting with your principal. Apparently, you guys are in dire need
of a new computer lab. I figured I could help.
Clark: They might even name a lunch special after you. How'd you end up here?
Lex: My plant manager, Gabe. He's always going on about his daughter, the
reporter in the Torch. Thought Id drop by and say hello. She wasn't around, but
I was struck by this.
Clark: That's Chloe's hobby. She thinks she can trace all the freak things in
Smallville to the meteor shower.
Lex: Interesting theory.
Clark: Most people think its crazy.
Lex: Maybe. Do you remember where you were when it fell?
Clark: Not really. My parents hadn't adopted me yet.
Lex: I do. I was right here in Smallville. My mother wanted me to spend some
quality time with my dad. He brought me here on a business trip - just a quick
hop to Smallville to finalize a deal. Funny how one day can change your whole
Clark: What happened?
Lex: I was out in a cornfield when the first meteor hit. It was like a tidal
wave coming at me. Then everything went black. Next thing I remember, I was
waking up in Metropolis General completely bald.
Clark: Lex, I didn't know.
Lex: Not many people do, Clark. He gets up and walks towards the wall. I
should've died that day. Instead I walked away with this.
Clark: I'm sorry.
Lex: Why? It's not your fault.
Lex: When I was younger, I though it was a curse. Kids figured I was a freak
or on chemo. Then I began to see it as my gift, the thing that defined me, that
gave me strength.
Clark: Do you ever wonder what you'd be like, you know, if you hadn't come
Lex: It doesn't matter, Clark. It happened. Personally, I think my future's
gonna be brighter than that spoiled, rich brat who walked into that cornfield.
Chloe: Mr. Luthor.
Lex: It's Lex. Clark was just telling me your meteor theory. I like it.
Especially since most people think my company is secretly behind everything that
goes wrong in Smallville.
Chloe: That's the reigning theory.
Lex: Are you the only on that blames the meteors instead of me?
Chloe: Pretty much. Well, there is Mr. Hamilton.
Clark: Except most people don't have too high a regard for a guy who sells
plastic meteor chips to tourists.
Lex: Doesn't exactly inspire confidence. Call me when you're looking for a
summer job. I've got friends over at the Inquisitor. I'll see you tomorrow. I
hear you're escorting the birthday girl. Nice work.
Clark: We're just going as friends.
Lex: Sure you are. Hope you got her a nice gift.
Pete: Jody, I didn't see you in class. Are you okay?
Jody: Yeah, I'm fine. Just stomach flu. I can't keep anything down.
Pete: Maybe you should go see the nurse.
Jody: I've got it under control.
Pete: Are you sure you're okay?
Jody: I'm fine. I just need to rest up for tomorrow night.
Pete: Look, if you don't feel up to it, I'll understand.
Jody: Are you kidding? I wouldn't miss this for the world.
Dustin: Hey, Jody, I've been watching you.
Jody: I'll bet you have.
Dustin: Hitting the gym was a good idea.
Jody: You should take your own advice.
Dustin: Whoa. You all right?
Jody: I'm just a little hungry.
Jody: You, uh, like what you see?
Jody: I'll bet you wouldn't mind seeing a little bit more, would you? Follow
Clark: "Confederacy of Dunces".
Lana: First edition.
Clark: Early birthday gift?
Lana: From Whitney. I couldn't believe it.
Clark: It's a cool gift.
Lana: That's the thing with Whitney. Sometimes I think he's a million miles
away, and then he surprises me with something like this.
Clark: How are things on the party front?
Lana: I surrendered. I told Nell to make the final decisions without me.
Clark: I cannot believe how anti-birthday you are. Haven't you ever had a
Lana: Once. I went to a drive-in.
Clark: That doesn't sound like Nell's style.
Lana: It was with my parents. My dad pulled the car up the front row so that
the screen filled up the entire windshield. I remember feeling all grown up
because I got to sit in the front seat with them. The played Bugs Bunny cartoons
before the movie started. I was cold, so my mom wrapped me up in her sweater.
Clark: That sounds nice.
Lana: I fell asleep before the movie even started between my mom and dad.
That's the last time I can remember feeling completely safe.
Clark: That's a great memory.
Dustin: Hey... We're fine. No one's gonna see us.
Dustin: You don't think I, uh, I never meant that stuff I said about you when
Jody: Fat? You thought it was funny calling me names, making me cry, making
me wish that I were dead rather than fat.
Dustin: Well, what can I say?
Jody: You can say you're sorry.
Hamilton: Ah! Don't... Touch that! You're not sterile and you're not me.
Lex: My apologies, Dr. Hamilton.
Hamilton: Ugh. You don't have a website, do you?
Lex: Excuse me?
Hamilton: They're usually the ones who track me down - freaks with websites.
Lex: I'm just a fan.
Lex: Lex Luthor.
Hamilton: The billionaire's son? Mineralogists don't have fans. Come on.
Lex: Most mineralogists didn't handle the first Apollo moon rocks.
Hamilton: That was a lifetime ago, when I was a respectable scientist.
Lex: You know, we may have a few things in common. I was kicked out of
Metropolis University, too.
Lex: Ever since I found out about a medical condition I have, I've become
very interested in your work, Dr. Hamilton.
Hamilton: And you think it has something to do with the meteors.
Lex: Isn't that your theory? That meteors somehow alter cellular makeup? That
sounds to me like research worth funding.
Hamilton: Yeah, well, sorry, my funding is private, and so are my results.
Lex: Your funding comes from tourists.
Hamilton: If you are so interested in meteors, here, take one. Enjoy it. I
have nothing else for sale.
Lex: When you change your mind, you know where to find me.
Chloe: I called the hospital this morning. Dustin's in a coma. His body went
into shock from the loss of fat. He hasn't told the police anything.
Clark: Time to revisit the fat-sucking vampire theory.
Chloe: You know, if you hadn't been there, he probably would have died,
Clark: What I can't figure out is why anybody would want to steal body fat.
Chloe: I know, it takes eating disorders to a whole new level.
Jody: Hi, guys. What's up? Jody is sitting at the table eating a whole lot of
Chloe: Uh, study group, remember?
Jody: Totally slipped my mind.
Chloe: So, no more veggie shakes, huh?
Clark: Are you feeling okay? Pete said you felt sick yesterday.
Jody: Oh, that. I'm fully recovered.
Chloe: I guess it's safe to say that the diet's finally over.
Jody: Mmm, I'm starving. I haven't eaten anything all day. I'm just a little
nervous about the party tonight.
Jody: So, um, I'll see you guys tonight.
Chloe: Okay, what was that about?
Clark: I don't know. I gotta fly. We'll talk about this later?
Chloe: Okay. Hey, where are you going?
Clark: I'm still working on Lana's birthday gift.
Chloe: Any hints?
Clark: Yeah, it's not a gift certificate.
Lex: What do you think?
Lana: It's really...
Lex: Not you at all. I heard the quarterback couldn't make it. Too bad.
Lana: I knew you'd be devastated. Whitney's trying out for a football
scholarship to Kansas State. Didn't think he made the cut, but then someone fell
Lex: I know. Your aunt told me. I like your new escort better. Have fun
Clark: Mom, you almost done?
Martha: Relax, Clark, you're not gonna be late for once. By the way, did you
figure out what to get Lana?
Clark: Yeah, Lex helped me out.
Martha: So what is it?
Clark: I thought you were butting out of this.
Martha: Then you'd better learn how to iron. Hi, Chloe.
Chloe: Hi, Mrs. Kent. Clark, take a look at this.
Clark: Chloe, why aren't you dressed?
Chloe: I didn't have time. Clark, you really, really need to check this out.
Clark: "Smallville body and fender - replaced windshield, replaced side
panels. Cause of accident - Impact with deer."
Chloe: It was Jody's car, Clark.
Clark: What do you think happened to her?
Chloe: Her house is built right next to one of the big meteor hits.
Clark: And she lost all that weight by drinking juice from vegetables grown
in the soil in her greenhouse.
Chloe: It must have done something to her metabolism. She's losing weight too
fast to keep up with regular food.
Clark: And that's why she needs body fat. We need to find her.
Chloe: Jody wouldn't let anything keep her from getting to that party.
Pete: Whoa. Hi.
Pete: Perfect flowers for a perfect date.
Jody: Thank you. They're beautiful, Pete.
Pete: So's that dress.
Jody: Thanks. It was my mom's.
Pete: Something wrong?
Jody: I'm fine. I just need to eat.
doesn't sound right. Maybe we should go to the hospital.
Jody: You've always been good to me, Pete. Please, go away now!
Jody: Go away!
Pete: Jody, wait!
Pete: Jody. Jody, come on! Jody! Jody? Jody, where are you?
Jody: Pete, please get away! It's all my fault.
Jody: I just wanted to be skinny. There's only so much a person can take.
Pete, please, go home.
Pete: Come on, Jody, you don't have to hide.
Jody: I don't want to hurt you.
Pete: Come on, Jody, you couldn't hurt a - Just tell me what's happening.
Clark: Jody? Pete? Pete, are you okay? Pete, what's wrong? Jody!
Jody: Why can't you just leave me alone?
Clark: You're sick. Whatever you did to yourself you can get help.
Jody: All I wanted was to be thin!
Clark: Jody, this isn't you.
Jody: What? Isn't this what I'm supposed to look like? Look at me, I'm a
freak. I know how to stop this for good.
Clark: No... Wait...
Clark: Pete! Get over here. Quick!
Pete: Clark, is she okay?
Clark: I think so, but we need to get her to a hospital.
Lex: Sneaking out, huh? Isn't this your shindig?
Lana: Says so on all the invitations.
Lex: Right. You're not hiding. You're getting some air. I spent 18 years of
Luthor Christmas parties in the coatroom.
Lana: I'm still waiting for my reinforcements.
Lex: I know Clark. He'll be here. If he can.
Lana: It's just a birthday.
Martha: Clark, what happened? The police called.
Clark: I'm fine.
Jonathan: How's Pete?
Clark: He's got a serious migraine, but other than that, he's okay. Jody
Melville's on the way to Metropolis General. Her father's gonna meet her there.
Martha: Clark, I'm sorry about the party.
Clark: I promised Lana I'd be there. I can't believe I let her down.
Jonathan: Well, when you do the things you do, Son - helping people - then
sometimes you have to make sacrifices.
Clark: Like Lana?
Martha: Maybe, but you made your choice.
Jonathan: where are you going?
Clark: I don't have to sacrifice everything.
Hamilton: Back for some more rocks?
Lex: Apparently, I have a clean bill of health.
Hamilton: Congratulations. I guess that means you won't be bothering me any
Lex: I couldn't figure out why you're so resistant to accept my help. Then I
had a friend do some digging. And here I thought you got kicked out of
Metropolis University for your meteor theories, but apparently, it was your
student/teacher relations. I wonder if the Smallville police have you
Hamilton: Get out.
Lex: I want you to look at something. I don't care about the past. I believe
in the power to reinvent your self. You want to prove to the world you've been
right all along? That check should cover your vindication.
Hamilton: What you're looking for could take years.
Lex: I'm a patient man.
Hamilton: Tell me - why does a billionaire's son care so much about a bunch
of rocks that fell out of the sky 12 years ago?
Lex: I save that story for the people I trust.
Lana: You kind of missed cocktail hour.
Clark: I'm sorry.
Lana: I told you I stopped believing in happy birthdays a long time ago.
Clark: Well, maybe I can change that. Look, I know I blew it tonight, but at
least let me give you your present.
Lana: Pass the popcorn.
Clark: Happy birthday.
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