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Smallville Transcripts


First aired January 29, 2002

Lex and Clark from "Shimmer"

Provided by Glynis

Clark: So, how'd you get out of gym class?

Lana: I'm spared the sweats a couple of days, perk of chairing the blood drive.

Clark: I'm sorry, aren't you the girl who skinned her knee in seventh grade and passed out when she saw the blood?

Lana: I was hoping I'd live that one down, but yeah.

Pete: Clark, we're gonna be late. We gotta hit the showers.

Clark: Bye, Lana.

Lana: Bye.

Amy: Troy, give it back!

Troy: Whoa, Amy. Just hang on. I just want to see if you wrote anything about me, that's all. Oh, Jeff, did you know your sister's writing psycho love letters to Lex Luthor? It's always the quiet ones.

Jeff: Give it back to her.

Troy: Hey, it's not my fault you've got a weirdo for a sister.

Amy: You're a child, Troy. It's because of boys like you the girls want a man like Lex Luthor.

Troy: Keep dreaming, Amy. Your parents clean his bathrooms. You may live there, but Luthor's not gonna slum up with the help.

Jeff: Just leave her alone.

Troy: What are you gonna do about it? Losers.

Pete: So when are you donating blood?

Clark: I don't know.

Pete: Come on, Clark, selflessly giving of yourself to save others. Girls love that. You okay?

Clark: Yeah, I'm fine.

Troy: Very funny, guys. Ha! Stop it!

Clark: Troy, are you okay? What happened?

Troy: It attacked me. It was like a ghost.

Chloe: So you didn't see anything?

Clark: By the time I got around the corner, Troy was already on the floor.

Chloe: What about the voice he heard?

Clark: What are you thinking, Chloe, that the locker room's haunted?

Chloe: Not unless the meteor rocks can conjure up the ghost of dearly departed jock straps, which I seriously doubt.

Waitress: Here you go.

Clark: Thank you. Well, it's nice to see you still have your standards.

Chloe: Yeah.

Whitney: I don't have time right now.

Lana: Look, if you don't want to help me with this blood drive, then just say so.

Whitney: That's not it.

Chloe: That doesn't look pretty.

Lana: Then what is it?

Whitney: I really don't want to talk about this right now, okay?

Lana: No, it's not okay! You have been avoiding me for a week! Every time I ask you what's wrong you push me away. I'm worried about you.

Whitney: Don't be. I just need some space.

Lana: If that's what you want, fine. But if you can't even confide in me, I don't even know why we're going out in the first place.

Chloe: Oh, quick! Pretend we weren't watching.

Clark: Hey, Lana, how's it going?

Lana: Not great, but thanks for the courtesy clueless.

Chloe: Would it cheer you up if we offered to volunteer a pint for tomorrow?

Lana: Let's find out. How about 9:45? That's open.

Chloe: Cool.

Lana: There, better already. Clark? What time can we schedule you? We didn't pick a time for you yet. When can I put you down?

Clark: Actually, I'm not sure. Can I get back to you?

Lana: Sure. Not a problem.

Clark: Well, I mean I figure I could help out. You know, sign people up, pass out cookies.

Lana: That'd be great. Thanks.

Chloe: Bye. Okay, nice recovery, but am I to assume your offer to help isn't completely without an ulterior motive?

Clark: I'm just being a good friend.

Chloe: Okay.

Victoria: Yes, Daddy, we're on schedule. Lex is playing hard to get, but I'm sure I can make him come around. Bye, Daddy. He wants to know if you're selling this castle after we sell out your father.

Lex: Why? Does he want to ship it back over to Scotland? Amy. Where's your mom?

Amy: Uh, flu I think. She asked me to cover for the afternoon.

Lex: Have you met Victoria?

Amy: No, not officially.

Lex: She's going to be staying with us.

Amy: I am so sorry! I'll go get something to clean this up.

Victoria: She spilled that on purpose!

Lex: It was a mistake. Wasn't it, Amy?

Amy: Sure.

Victoria: She's clearly got a thing for you, Lex.

Lex: Never took you for the jealous type. Her parents are a fixture. I brought them here from Metropolis.

Victoria: Send them back.

Mother: Were you just in the house? Amy! Amy, I asked you a question.

Jeff: What's going on?

Mother: Your sister was bothering Mr. Luthor.

Amy: If anyone is bothering him, it's that tramp. She’s ruining everything. She just wants him all to herself.

Mother: You know, we may live on the Luthor estate, but we're not part of that world. You have to know your place. Both of you.

Jeff: Don't worry, mom, we know exactly what our place is.

Amy: Thanks, Jeff.

Jeff: Just be careful.

Martha: Clark, what's this?

Clark: Blood drive at school. Lana's running it.

Jonathan: Clark, you know you can't donate.

Clark: I know, Dad. But what am I supposed to tell her?

Martha: That you have a problem with needles, which you technically do.

Clark: Great. Not only do I lie, but I look like a wuss.

Jonathan: Clark, uh... I can't even believe I'm actually gonna say this, but I guess you can't always be honest with people. It's one of the prices you pay for your abilities.

Clark: That's why I volunteered.

Martha: I'm sure it had nothing to do with the fact that Lana is running it.

Clark: Well, Whitney dropped out.

Martha: So you thought you'd move in.

Clark: If he doesn't see how great she is, then he doesn't deserve her.

Clark: Looking for something?

Lex: My watch. The tulips look great.

Clark: Yeah, you clean us out. Mom said if you want some more, you'll have to call Holland.

Lex: They're Victoria's favorite. What was that?

Clark: You and Victoria must be getting pretty close.

Lex: You seem surprised.

Clark: She just doesn't seem like your type.

Lex: Relationships aren't always about love, Clark. Sometimes they're about mutual goals. Not every girl is Lana Lang.

Clark: Yeah, sorry. It's none of my business really.

Lex: It's okay. I admire your standards. Don't lose that.

Clark: You know, I decided to fight for Lana.

Lex: Good for you. Why the new attitude?

Clark: I decided to take the advice of a friend. Don't you have another watch?

Lex: I've got hundreds. This one's special. My mother gave it to me right before she died.

Clark: I don't see it.

Lex: What are you, part bloodhound?

Clark: No, I live on a farm. I'm pretty good at finding needles in haystacks. How about I go check the library?

Victoria: What's going on?

Lex: Wait here.

Chloe: It doesn't leave much room for interpretation.

Clark: It was pretty weird. I mean, the door was shaking. When we got close, it blew open and Lex said he felt something brush past him.

Chloe: Maybe his Scottish castle came complete with a poltergeist.

Clark: Well, the police say it's vandals. They don't know many ghosts who write in spray paint and own a black light.

Chloe: So, how's the blood drive?

Clark: Actually, Lana and I are getting together tonight.

Chloe: At her place?

Clark: Yeah.

Chloe: That's very romantic. Just remember, Clark, once you cross that line, you can't hide behind the cloak of friendship anymore. Proceed with caution.

Lionel: Lex, you have disappointed me.

Lex: Hi, Dad. It's good to see you, too.

Lionel: Would you mind telling me what she's doing here?

Lex: Right now? Working on my neck. But knowing her, I think that's just a start.

Lionel: Could this be a ploy to get my attention? Well done, it worked.

Lex: I know this is gonna come as a shock, but not everything in my life revolves around you.

Lionel: Oh, I understand. So you're simply... being swindled. Would you excuse us Miss Hardwick? My son and I are going to have a little chat about family loyalty.

Victoria: It's all right. I'll run us a bath.

Lex: I'll be there shortly.

Victoria: I'll send Sir Harry your regards.

Lionel: Swell.

Lex: This is hardly business.

Lionel: Generations of Luthors would beg to differ. It's always business, especially where the Hardwicks are concerned. Lex, can't you see she was sent to distract you? Sir Harry has been nipping away at LuthorCorp for months!

Lex: LuthorCorp is your company. I'm just one of its many expendable employees as you made abundantly clear when you exiled me to this charming cow town.

Lionel: Empires are not brought down by outside forces. They are destroyed by weaknesses from within! Lex, I've told you this. Smallville is your test. Right now you're failing.

Lex: Thanks for the update, but I know exactly what I'm doing.

Lionel: No,  you don't She is playing the only card she's got and you are falling for it hook, line, and sinker.

Lex: My personal life is my business.

Lionel: Not when it affects my company. Then it's my business. Lex, listen to this. If you sell out your family, then you will truly be alone in the world.

Amy: Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to... You don't deserve him.

Jeff: Amy, hey. What's wrong?

Amy: Her, what do you think?

Jeff: Amy? Amy!

Clark: I've got an opening at 5:00.

Lana: I can shift mine to 4:30 at station B, which makes us...

Clark: Done.

Lana: You're kidding. Everything?

Clark: We own this town.

Lana: We never found a time for you to donate.

Clark: Actually... Lana, I have a confession to make. I've got this thing about needles. It's kind of embarrassing.

Lana: Don't worry about it. Your secret's safe with me. You are such a lifesaver, Clark.

Clark: It's amazing you do all these different things.

Lana: Just trying to find my place in the world. I can't thank you enough.

Clark: It's a great cause. How could I not help?

Lana: Ask Whitney. He's, uh... I don't know where he's been lately.

Clark: You know, Lana, if you really want to thank me... don't talk about Whitney.

Lana: Fair enough.

Clark: Do you ever think it's strange that my dad and your aunt used to date?

Lana: Nell doesn't really talk about it much. Whatever happened, I guess she took it kind of hard.

Clark: I'm just glad that you and I are so close.

Lana: Me too. That the thing about Clark Kent. He's not always there when you want him, but he's always there when you need him.

Clark: It's a fine distinction.

Lana: You're the one who's helping me with the blood drive.

Clark: I am.

Lana: You're the one who listens.

Clark: I do.

Lana: You're the one who's here.

Clark: Yeah.

Nell: Lana, are you still out-- Clark. Do you have the time?

Clark: No. But I'm guessing it's late.

Nell: Smart kid.

Lana: Uh, I'll see you tomorrow.

Clark: Tomorrow. Lana... um, have you ever seen the sunset from my loft?

Lana: Yes. But that's the great thing about sunsets. They're unique, you always see things you never noticed before.

Clark: Want to come over tomorrow?

Lana: I'd love to. Good night, Clark.

Pete: Have you seen the sunset from my loft? You actually said that?

Clark: Yep.

Pete: I bet your stomach was in the knots the whole time.

Clark: Yep.

Pete: Clark, if I were you, I'd start scripting what I was gonna say now.

Clark: No, I think I'll play it by ear. You know, fly by the seat of my pants.

Pete: Clark, you're not the flying type. I'll make you some notes.

Clark: Yeah.

Counselor: Whitney, your mother called and she filled me in.

Whitney: She shouldn't have.

Counselor: Well, Whitney, she's just concerned. Look, I'm not here to push. If you need anything, my office is just down the hall. Okay?

Whitney:  Okay.

Clark: Sorry... you're welcome.

Amy: Hi, Clark.

Clark: Hi, Amy. Everything okay?

Amy: Yeah. Just, um, you know, all the weirdness at the mansion. Everything was fine until Victoria got there. Oh, well, you're Lex's friend. What do you think of her?

Clark: I really don't know her that well.

Amy: Mmm. Well I think I figured out why she's sticking around. I saw her in Lex's bedroom going through his things.

Clark: What were you doing in Lex's bedroom?

Amy: Helping my mom.

Clark: And Victoria didn't see you?

Amy: No. See, Lex is the only one who ever treated me like I was there.

Lex: Clark, what brings you over so late? Doing a little ghost hunting?

Clark: No. I came here to talk to you about Victoria... Where is she?

Lex: She's taking a bath. Why, is there a problem?

Clark: Last night, when I was in here, I saw her. I... don't really know how to say this.

Lex: She was going through the files on my computer?

Clark: Yeah, how'd you know?

Lex: Very little happens in this house without my knowledge.

Clark: You don't seem very upset about this.

Lex: We're playing chess, Clark. It's a game. Like I said we've known each other a long time.

Clark: But you don't love her, she goes behind your back. Why do you want to keep you around?

Lex: It's complicated. Thanks for the heads up.

Clark: That's what friends are for. I guess I shouldn't even bring up that Amy's got an obsession with you.

Lex: It's a teenage crush. Nothing more. Hey, how goes your new Lana initiative?

Clark: I found something out about Whitney. I saw a prescription in his bag. It's for Amlodipine, it's a--

Lex: Heart medication. My mother was on it before she had her surgery.

Clark: Is that what... I'm sorry.

Lex: She was sick for a long time, Clark. The watch I lost, my mom gave it to me when she knew it was getting close. She found a Napoleon franc from 1806 and had it made into the face.

Clark: Why Napoleon?

Lex: You ever see the painting of Napoleon's coronation by David?

Clark: No.

Lex: Napoleon's mother couldn't make it to his coronation. But when he commissioned it, Napoleon told David to paint her in as if she were there, right in the center. Even though she couldn't be there physically, he brought her into his life through sheer force of will, there to share in his greatness.

Clark: That's a good story.

Lex: It's a good watch.


Lex: Ah!

Clark: You're gonna be okay.

Clark: It's definitely blood.

Chloe: Doesn't exactly fit the Casper paradigm. Which means that whoever attacked you and Victoria in the bathroom... was invisible? What's this green stuff? Smells like roses. Uh... Clark?

Clark: What happened?

Chloe: I just touched it. Okay, I'm now officially weirded out. What is this?

Clark: I don't know, but if you rubbed that all over you'd be--

Chloe: Naked?

Clark: You'd be invisible.

Chloe: Okay so what's our next move? Should we call the police?

Clark: And report an invisible person? We need a viable suspect.

Chloe: Well, who's got a problem with Lex's British fling?

Clark: Amy Palmer.

Chloe: Her parents are on the mansion's house staff, right?

Clark: Amy said she saw Victoria snooping around Lex's bedroom. She said Victoria didn't see her.

Chloe: No wonder. Wait. Didn't Amy give blood?

Clark: 3:45, station B.

Chloe: Whoa. You've got a freakishly good memory. Okay, I'll get the blood type on the broken piece of glass and check it against Amy's.

Clark: Great. Call me later?

Chloe: Top of my speed dial.

Clark: Whitney...

Whitney: Whatever it is, I'm not interested.

Clark: What about Lana? You interested in her?

Whitney: What is it with you and my girlfriend, Kent?

Clark: Nothing. We're just friends.

Whitney: You think I don't see the way you look at her?

Clark: Well, at least I pay attention to her. You've got the most unbelievable girlfriend in the world and you don't even know it. What's your problem?

Whitney: How I deal with my girlfriend is my business, okay?

Clark: I saw the heart medication in your bag. What's going on, Whitney?

Whitney: It's my dad. He's been in Metropolis all week, you know, for tests.

Clark: Is he gonna be okay?

Whitney: The doctors don't know.

Clark: You haven't told Lana yet, have you?

Whitney: I figured she's been through enough pain in her life with her parents. I didn't want her to have to go through it with me.

Clark: I don't think you give her enough credit. She's strong. She'd probably understand better than anyone.

Clark: Hey, how's Victoria?

Lex: She's resting up in Metropolis for a few days until I can get some answers. Everything okay?

Clark: You ever gotten information you wish you hadn't?

Lex: In my experience, there's no such thing as too much information. I assume you're talking about the quarterback?

Clark: His father's sick.

Lex: That's too bad.

Clark: I wanted to take my shot with Lana, but now--

Lex: You feel like you'd be taking advantage.

Clark: What would you do?

Lex: Who me? I'd go for it. See, but that's what I like about you, Clark. You wouldn't.

Amy: Hi, Lex.

Lex: Amy. This is a surprise.

Amy: Oh, well, I just saw your car outside, so I thought I'd come in and say hi.

Lex: Well, I appreciate the gesture.

Amy: So now that Miss Hardwick is gone, hopefully things will be back to normal.

Lex: Victoria will be back in a few days.

Amy: Oh.

Lex: She's really not as bad as you think, Amy.

Amy: Oh, I-I never thought that. Well, bye.

Lex: What is it?

Mother: I don't know what to say, Mr. Luthor. Amy's been having some trouble in school, but I can't imagine she would actually try to hurt Miss Hardwick.

Clark: I hope I'm wrong. Looks like she's been collecting you.

Lex: My watch.

Mother: We had no idea, Mr. Luthor. Please don't call the police.

Lex: I'm not interested in retribution or publicity, but Amy needs help. Counseling, medical treatment, whatever it takes. Just send me the bill. Even so, I think it'd be best for everyone if you left the mansion tonight.

Mother: Yes, of course.

Lana: You made it.

Clark: Sorry I'm late.

Lana: It's just getting to the good part. What do you think?

Clark: I think it's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

Lana: The other night on the porch, I felt you were trying to tell me something.

Clark: I was... Nell's timing was impeccable as always.

Lana: She's not here now.

Clark: What I wanted to tell you was... what I wanted to say was... I would never do anything to hurt you.

Lana: I know that.

Clark: But if I said what I really wanted to say right now, that's what I'd do. I'd hurt you.

Lana: Why don't you take a shot? I'm pretty strong.

Clark: I know. But I think Whitney needs to know that too.

Lana: I thought you didn't want to talk about Whitney.

Clark: I-I don't. But if you were my girlfriend, standing in Whitney's loft, I'd hope he'd say the same thing. I understand that you're mad at him, but you need to talk to him, Lana. He needs you right now. He just doesn't know it.

Lana: Clark, why are you doing this?

Clark: Because after all this time, you and I are finally friends, and I don't want to lose that.

Lana: Look. We missed it.

Amy: I just wanted to... feel close to you.

Mother: Jeff is going to pack everything else. My husband will be back in the morning to pick it up. Again, Mr. Luthor--

Lex: It's okay, it's okay. Drive safely. Yes, I'd like to leave a message for Victoria Hardwick. Who's there? Come out and show yourself.

Martha: How'd it go with Lana?

Clark: We're still friends.

Martha: Are you okay with that?

Clark: No... but I think it's the right call for now.

Chloe: Hello! Hey, Mrs. Kent.

Martha: Hi, Chloe. I'll see you later.

Chloe: Okay, so, bad news on the Dracula front. The drop of blood found on the mirror was type A. Amy Palmer is Type O.

Clark: But she had a shrine to Lex in her room.

Chloe: She may be a little Lex obsessed, but she's not the one that tried to off Victoria.

Clark: Well, Amy's blood type doesn't match but look at Jeff's.

Chloe: Her brother? He's always been so quiet.

Clark: Practically invisible. I'll catch up with you later.

Jeff: Don't you understand? She loved you. How could you send her away?!

Lex: Who are you?

Jeff: Suddenly you care? Master Lex with his castle, his plant, his expensive cars. When did people ever matter to you?

Lex: Jeff? Where are you?

Jeff: I'm surprised you even know my name. Did you forget the unspoken rule? Servants are supposed to be invisible. We tried to hide, fade into the woodwork. My parents learned to live with it, pretended it didn't matter, but Amy wanted more. And I'm through pretending!

Lex: What have I ever done to you?

Jeff: Not to me, to Amy. She loved you and you threw her out like she was nothing.

Lex: I thought she was attacking Victoria.

Jeff: That was me. I wanted to scare her, make her leave. I wanted everything back to the way it was for Amy. But you're not interested in love.

Lex: That kind of love could get me arrested. She's a little young for me, Jeff.

Jeff: You ruined her life! Our lives! I'm not gonna let you hurt her again! The sword flips through the air and sticks into the wall right beside Lex's head.

Clark: Lex! It's me! Open up!

Lex: Clark!

Jeff: Stay away from him, Kent. This is your fault too.

Clark: Jeff... what happened?

Jeff: Chemistry, Kent. Some plants don't absorb light. They refract it. I found a weird green rose on the grounds and I studied it. And then, I used the oils to become what I've always been... to Lex, the people at school, everyone. That's right. I've heard Luthor talk about you like you're something special. Well, I'm special too.

Clark: What do you thinks gonna happen to Jeff?

Lex: A lot of serious therapy. Clearer question is how he made himself invisible.

Clark: I don't know. I guess the secret's gonna stay with him. How's your head?

Lex: I've survived worse. Can't say the same about my father's antique collection.

Clark: Sorry.

Lex: Don't be. My mother always hated that room. "War is in our nature," She said. "We don't need to put it on display.

Main picture from Devoted to Smallville

Screen Caps from Smallville Dedication

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Updated 8/14/08  


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