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The O.C. Episode Guide

The Best Christmukkah Ever - 1.13
aired 12/3/03

By Nikki

The show begins with Seth asking Ryan to choose between the candy cane (Christmas) and the menorah (Hanukkah). He then tells Ryan he doesn’t have to choose because of Chrismukkah, the “new holiday sweeping the nation (or at least the living room)”. Sandy and Kirsten ask for help with the Christmas tree they are bringing in. Ryan goes to help as Seth directs the placement of the tree encouraging them to use their muscles. Kirsten tells Ryan they didn’t really know how to raise Seth. And he chimes in telling Ryan how he “raised himself, and in doing so created the greatest super holiday known to man kind, Chrismukkah. For his Jewish father he incorporated Chinese food and a movie and for his Christian mother a tree stalking and all the trimmings. He tells Ryan another highlight of Chrismukkah is 8 days of presents followed by one day of many presents. The Cohens try to get Ryan to incorporate something from the Atwoods Christmas traditions. After some prodding he informs them that his Christmas memories consist of his mom drunk and him getting his ass kicked. After an awkward pause they tell him this year will be different, he says he’ll do whatever they tell him. Seth tells him that is the spirit and opens his arms for a hug. Ryan avoids the hug and leaves the room. Seth replies with “Oy humbug”. Sandy and Kirsten tell Seth it’s a big holiday and to give Ryan time. They begin to trim the tree and Seth tells his parents that “soon Ryan will learn the magic of Chrismukkah, worry not, I will convert him”.

After the opening credits the scene begins with Seth sitting on Ryan’s bed surrounded with present wrapping tools. Ryan comes out of the bathroom and wants to know how Seth turned his room into Santa’s workshop in the 5 minutes he was in the shower. Ryan asks Seth what he is wrapping and he says 2 Seth Cohen starter packs which consist of CDs by Death Cab For Cutie, Bright Eyes, and The Shins; The Goonies DVD; and "The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay. He is giving one each to Summer and Anna. Ryan tries to tell Seth that no good can come from him giving them both the same thing. When Ryan tells Seth he has to choose between Anna and Summer Seth responds saying there is no choosing on Chrismukkah. Ryan asks Seth if he got him a present and Seth says no but turns and whistles mischievously. Ryan stares blankly at Seth. Seth tells Ryan to lighten up. Ryan stares back at him and Seth tells him fine he can stay dark, dark works.

Kirsten is sitting at the kitchen bar making a list as Ryan and a whistling (12 days of Christmas) Seth enters the kitchen. Kirsten wants to know Ryan’s shoe size, Ryan doesn’t answer the question, but asks why she wants to know. Seth asks Kirsten if she is making a Chrismukkah list. She says it is not but as Seth tries to see it she tells him it is work and won’t let him look at it. He tries to convince her he loves her work and wants to look at it. Ryan says to Kirsten that he thought they had said there would be no gifts. She says that they meant he didn’t need to get gifts for them. Sandy hangs up his cell phone as he walks into the kitchen. Announcing that Chrismukkah is ruined. Seth stops his father saying that Chrismukkah is unruinable, as it has twice the resistance as a normal holiday. Sandy explains that Caleb (Kirsten’s dad) has refused the settlement offer and once to go to court so he will have to spend the holidays working. Kirsten agrees with Sandy that Chrismukkah is ruined. Seth tries to convince her not to “give up on the miracle that is Chrismukkah”. He tells them that they will all see. Ryan informs Seth that he is starting to scare him and Seth replies he is ok with that.

Jimmy Cooper comes down the stairs all dressed up for a job interview asking Marissa which tie he should wear. She chooses one and he begins to tie it. He tells her he’s just going to a meet and greet but that he is trying and will get a job. Marissa tells him that they should just skip Christmas because it depresses people. He asks if she is depressed and she says no she’s great. He tells her they are not going to skip Christmas, that he’s going to get a job and everything will work out.

Seth and Ryan walk down the school hall together. Ryan asks Seth about about the fact that Anna and Summer are coming to the party later that night. Seth says that they are both coming but neither as his date. Ryan wants to know if they are both ok with that. Seth says Ryan may be all doom and gloom “but me, I’m snowflakes. I’m latkes. Chrismukkah is coming. Ryan wants to know what happens when Chrismukkah ends. Seth gasps and sadly says “I hate when Chrismukkah ends”. Summer walks up to them and wants to know the deal about the party that night. If he’s going to pick her up or what. Before he can respond Anna walks up and asks the same question. She notices Summer and they greet each other uncomfortably. Seth tells them both that they should all meet at the party and whatever time they choose. They both angrily say fine and walk away. Ryan tells Seth he should pray for a Chrismukkah miracle. Seth says he has Jesus and Moses on his side.

Julie Cooper is directing the decoration of a huge Christmas tree in Caleb Nichols back yard. Kirsten walks up and Julie wants to know how she likes the tree. Kirsten says it’s fine it’s just that her mom used to put it in the foyer. Julie says that she didn’t want Caleb to be reminded of the past. Julie wants to use Kirsten’s office as a holding area for the elves they are using for a Christmas thing for some kids. She asks Kirsten why she is there, her father said she was working from home. Kirsten (who is upset with her father) goes inside to speak with him. Caleb tells Kirsten that he decided he wants more money out of the land trust. She is upset with him for trying to get more money from Sandy. He says they will need to work over the holidays. Kirsten tells him to have fun, she is taking Christmas vacation, and he thinks that she will hate it, but Kirsten disagrees.

Ryan and Marissa are walking down the halls at school talking about how they hate Christmas (and Chrismukkah). Marissa tells Ryan she has to spend Christmas Eve with her dad and Christmas day with her mom. Plus her mom is making her go to a Newport Group Holiday Party that night. Ryan tells her the Cohens are going to. Marissa is happy that they can be miserable together. She asks what he’s doing after school and he tells her he is going to Southcoast Plaza to do some Christmas shopping. She thinks it is funny that he is going to a mall alone. She tells him he needs a seasoned expert to protect him.

Montage of Marissa and Ryan at the mall (to the song “Maybe This Christmas” by Ron Sexsmith). Ryan watchs Marissa try on lipstick, Ryan looks at a woman carrying a little dog with antlers, Marissa kisses Ryan on the check with her freshly applied lipstick, Marissa tries on high heels that make her much taller then Ryan, they walk through the store holding hands and laughing, they kiss by a clothes rack, they look at expensive watches. Song fades away as they are walking through a store. Marissa says she can’t really afford anything there anymore, she just loves it because everything is perfect, and when she’s there it feels like all her problems can be solved by the right nail polish or a new pair of shoes.

As Ryan and Marissa are about to get into the car a security guard tells her he needs to look through her purse and if she doesn’t let him he will have to call the police immediately. Ryan tells him to back off. Marissa hands the security guard her purse, he dumps it out on the hood of the car and finds one of the watches they were looking at earlier inside. Ryan can’t believe it.

Kirsten is sitting at the kitchen table working. Seth walks in and asks her why she’s working from home. She says she is on vacation, he says he can tell. She explains that she hasn’t taken a vacation in a long time and is easing into it. Seth asks about 2 Christmas presents sitting on the table, Kirsten says that they came for Ryan from his mother and brother. Seth tells Kirsten that when Ryan talks about how he remembers the holidays he doesn’t know what to say. Kirsten tells him to just be himself. Kirsten finds something in the files she is going through that upsets her. She tells Seth he need to go get ready for the party. He leaves. Kirsten calls someone to get a copy of a survey her father had ordered on the Heights.

Jimmy Cooper and Marissa are sitting in the living room of their apartment. Talking about the shoplifting. Julie barges in raving about how the incident has in convinced her, and then begins to blame the whole thing on him. Marissa interrupts yelling at her mom that it was her fault not her dads. Jimmy tells Julie they were discussing an appropriate punishment. Julie angrily tells him that it’s not up to her. She then tells Marissa no car, no weekends, no allowance. Marissa tries to get out of the party, but Julie tells her she has to be there so as not to ruin the party. Julie asks her why she did it. Marissa tries to explain, but can’t seem to. Julie tells Marissa that she called the therapist and Marissa has an appointment in the morning. Marissa promises she won’t do it again, that she can handle it. Jimmy tries to convince her that maybe it will help. She angrily says whatever and goes upstairs.

Ryan is in his room getting ready for the party. Seth tells Ryan he thinks it’s cool that his mom and brother sent him gifts. Ryan responds with saying sure, but now he has to buy 8 gifts when he only saved enough for 1. Seth says it reminds him of the story oh Hanukkah. Ryan tells him about Marissa shoplifting at the mall. Ryan says he wishes there was something he could do or say for her, with all the stuff that’s been going on with her family. Seth gives Ryan a stalking with his name on like the ones they all have. He says thanks, and appears touched by the gesture.

Kirsten is sitting in her bedroom drinking some wine as Sandy comes in. He tells her that he reached a settlement with her father for 250 million. Sandy tells her that maybe Caleb is changing as he wants to spend the holidays with the family. Kirsten tells him that she found something, but doesn’t know if she can give it to him, but knows that she can’t not give it to him. She is worried that her father will fire her, but she gives it to him anyway. Sandy reads the paper and says that it changes everything. They decided to go ahead and go to the party.

The doorbell rings Seth answers it to Anna all dressed up for the party. She has brought mistle toe and kisses him on the check. He says that he though they were meeting at the party. She says she was hoping they could go together. He tells her he thinks it would violate the agreement they made with Summer. She says Summer doesn’t have to know. The door bell rings again. This time it’s Summer with mistletoe. Summer and Anna are both angry at the other for being there. Seth tries to keep the peace by suggesting they all go with his parents.

Seth is sitting on the couch with Summer on one side and Anna on the other. Anna tells Seth she has a present for him that she will give to him later. Summer says she also has a gift to give him later. He says he can’t wait. Kirsten and Sandy come into the room and are a little confused to see both Summer and Anna with Seth.

Ryan is helping Marissa put on a necklace. She has told him about her parents making her go to therapy. He suggests that maybe it’s not such a bad idea. She gets angry with him saying that if no one is going to make her parents go to therapy she’s not going either as she’s the only normal one in the family. She apologizes for getting angry with him and asks him to get her wrap from upstairs. When he leaves she gets a bottle of alcohol out of the bar and slips it into her purse.

Party at the Nichol mansion. Sandy, Kirsten, Seth, Anna, and Summer enter. Anna tells Seth to come with her one way, Summer says he should come with her the other. Seth darts off, saying he’s going to look for Ryan. Summer and Anna glare at each other and then walk off in different directions.

Sandy and Kirsten say hello to Julie and Caleb. Caleb acts like nothing is wrong and asks Kirsten if Sandy told her about the settlement. Sandy tells Caleb he wants to follow up on a few things. Caleb tells Sandy to relax it’s a party and walks off. Sandy tells Kirsten he is going to nail him now and follows. Julie asks Kirsten how she likes the party and if Caleb said anything about it. Julie wants this to be a party Caleb will never forget. Kirsten says she has a shot at that and walks off.

Marissa is standing by herself. Ryan brings her a drink and asks if she is ok, he knows it’s been a rough day and she doesn’t really want to be here. She responds that she wants to be where he is. They kiss, and Julie walks up. They argue and Marissa leaves. Julie and Ryan agree on hating the holidays.

Caleb is standing by himself as Sandy walks up and hands him a copy of the survey Kirsten gave him. Sandy tells Caleb that he knows that the heights are worthless and therefore never would have gotten the permits he needed. Caleb wants to know what he wants. Sandy says he wants to buy back the heights for 1 dollar. He hands Caleb the dollar and walks off.

Seth and Anna are by the pool. Anna gives Seth his Christmas gift. A comic she made about Seth and Sgt. Oats. As he looks through it Seth notices Summer across the pool watching them. He tells Anna he loves the gift.

Jimmy and Kirsten are dancing, he asks her how Seth is. She says he’s fine. He seems worried about Marissa and wants to know if Seth every does anything that makes her question herself as a parent. She mentions several of the things that have happened since Ryan moved in. But then says that they have good kids.

Marissa locks herself in a bathroom and fills her coke up with alcohol and chugs it down.

Summer takes Seth inside and sits him down on the couch. She stands in front of him and says that she heard he likes comic books. He agrees. Summer unzips her dress and lets it fall to the ground, underneath it she is wearing a wonder woman costume. She throws a lasso around him and draws him to her. As they begin to kiss, Summer finds the comic that Anna made for him. Anna walks in and sees them. Summer and Anna can’t believe they way they are both acting. Summer tells Seth that she likes him and so does Anna and that he has to choose before someone gets hurt. They both leave the room.

A drunken Marissa walks up to Ryan and kisses him. She tries to get him to dance. He can smell the alcohol on her breath. He tells her he didn’t see her with a cocktail, and she tells him that she brought her own. He wants to know what is going on with her. She doesn’t understand what the big deal is, he drinks. He responds with ya but not alone in the bathroom. He says she is starting to remind him of his mom. She tells him to shut up, he says he’s leaving, she says no she’s leaving. He grabs her and tells her she can’t drive. She yells at him that she has enough people telling her what to do. Ryan chases her out of the house and tries to get in the car. She won’t let him in so he gets in front of it and won’t let her leave. She tries to back out and hits a car behind her. She begins to cry.

Back at the party Caleb announces that he is transferring the heights back over to the land trust for the price of 1 dollar. Everyone cheers and Caleb says he couldn’t have done it without Sandy. Sandy says that Caleb did it all on his own and toasts Caleb the most generous man in Newport Beach.

Ryan is driving Marissa’s car down the road. Marissa get’s her bottle out and begins to take a drink. Ryan is mad because she is already drunk. Marissa claims she’s not drunk, but starts to put the lid back on the bottle anyway. She drops the lid, and as she is looking on the floor for it, they get pulled over. Ryan is angry because he is still on probation. Marissa hides the bottle at her feet. The cop asks if they knew they had a broken taillight. Ryan says it just happened and he’ll get it fixed as soon as possible. The cop asks if they have been drinking. Ryan says no. The cop starts to ask Marissa to get out of the car as she is acting suspiciously, but is interrupted with an emergency call. He gives them a warning, and leaves. A very angry Ryan gets out of the car, opens Marissa’s door and throws the bottle of alcohol. He slams Marissa’s door several times. She tells him to stop because he is scaring her. Ryan says well because she is scaring him. He walks to the front of the car and says there’s drinking, crying and cops it must be Christmas. Marissa gets out of the car and walks around to him. He tells her that he left all of this behind with his mom and can’t do it again. She says ok and slips her hand into his.

Ryan is reading the paper and eating cereal when Seth enters the kitchen. He tells Ryan that the girls told him he has to make a choice. He says he doesn’t know what to do, and asks about Ryan’s night. Ryan tells him about everything that happened and says now Seth should see why he hates Christmas. Seth tells Ryan that what they have is a Chrismukkah miracle. The old Ryan would of got busted, but this time he had Jesus and Moses working together to keep him safe and give him a second chance. Seth’s faith in Chrismukkah has been restored. He leaves to get ready for Anna who is coming over, saying although he doesn’t know what to say he is sure the words will come.

Seth is talking to Anna. He can’t seem to find the words he is looking for. Scene flashes back and forth between Anna and Summer. He tells them both that they should just be friends, and gives them the gifts he got them. They both say they don’t want to be just his friend and return the gifts.

The doorbell rings and as Kirsten answers it Caleb bursts in telling her that he could have had her fired or sued her for what she did. He says that what she did was ruthless and dishonest, he seems slightly proud of her. He notices the tree with Kirsten’s mother’s ornaments and she tells him there just might be a gift under it for him.

Sandy comes into the boat house. Ryan is about to leave. He tells Sandy he was going to go to Marissa’s therapy with her. Sandy tells him he doesn’t have to be the parent anymore. That Marissa is going to have to figure this out on her own.

Marissa enter’s the therapists waiting room and sits across from a boy about her age. She is nervous and starts to leave. The boy tells her he came 3 times before he actually went in. He recognizes Marissa as the social chair at Harbor. He introduces himself as Oliver Trask. Marissa sits back down. She tells him she is embarrassed about being in a Shrinks office. He agrees that it is embarrassing so suggests that they just tell each other why they are there. She says that if she knew she wouldn’t be there. He tells her she’s not an alcoholic yet, she’s ODed at least once on pills. She tells him that coming there wasn’t her idea. He tells her she’s right, but she wouldn’t be there if she didn’t want to be. A man comes out of one of the doors and Oliver tells her that she should go in, he’s waiting for the next door.

Seth is laying on the couch when Ryan comes into the living room and asks him how it went with the girls. In response Seth offers him one of the starting packs. Ryan says he’s beyond that now and has brought his stocking in to hang. Seth is excited for another Chrismukkah convert. Sandy and Kirsten come in with movies. Seth gives them the starter packs he bought for the girls. Ryan hangs his stocking up with others as Kirsten and Sandy watch him. Episodes ends with a Chrismukkah picture of Sandy, Kirsten, Seth, and Ryan.

Photos from Screencap Paradise

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Updated 9/10/10 

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