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House Favorite Quotes
House-isms and Quotes
"Inject him with cortisol. The guy'll be having sex
with his wife again! He'll hug his kid again! Hopefully that was the
combination he was using. Be a shame if I cured a pedophile." (Meaning)
"Is this an intervention? It's a little late since I'm not
hooked on drugs anymore. I am, however, still hooked on phonics." (Cane &
House: The lab results came back. The lab cannot
identify the metal. Said it might not even be terrestrial. Chase:
Really? House: No, you idiot. It's titanium. (Cane & Able)
Ezra: Dr. Chase said my calcium was normal.
House: Hmm, we call him 'Dr. Idiot'. (Informed Consent)
House: After that look, I'm feeling a little
frisky. Looks like you're up. Cuddy: I'm ovulating. Let's go.
House: The frisky, it went away. (Lines in the Sand)
Tritter: Last nurse you made fun of probably
slipped some crap into your coffee. House: Uh, I asked for
decrapinated coffee. (Fools for Love)
"Aw, c'mon. This isn't because I was speeding. It's
because I'm latino." (Fools for Love)
House: Who knew bloated and bitchy could actually
come in handy? Cameron: Shut up! (Que Sera Sera)
"This conversation is over, because I've officially run
out of clever things to call this guy." (Que Sera Sera)
Wilson: What are you doing down here? I thought you
usually had lunch with Coma Guy? House: This is Vegetative State Guy.
He's better company. (Son of a Coma Guy)
Cameron: Nice cane. House: (winking) If I
know what you mean. (Whac-A-Mole)
"You know what else shuts down systems? Death!" (Finding
"It's just wrong! Let's cure her with sunshine and
puppies!" (Finding Judas)
Foreman: You stash your drugs in a lupus textbook?
House: It's never lupus. (Finding Judas)
House: I'm certainly curious about the logistics.
Cameron: House! Maddy: Pretty much he'd lay flat and spin me.
Abigail: Mom! (Merry Little Christmas)
Maddy: Being different, you get used to people's
idiocy. It still beats the hell out of actually being an idiot. (House
smiles) What? House: Care to go for a spin? (Merry Little Christmas)
Maddy: Are you high? House: Higher than you.
(Merry Little Christmas)
Tritter: Merry Christmas. House: And a happy
'go to hell.' (Merry Little Christmas)
Cameron: House, I heard you apologized to Wilson.
House: Detoxing. I didn't know what I was saying. (Words and Deeds)
"I told you never to call me while I'm on trial." (Words
"You could throw a dart at all the adjectives between
'arrogant' and 'unhinged' and I'm sure you'd hit one that describes me."
(Words and Deeds)
Doctor: He swallowed a magnet. We gotta cut it out.
House: (to the kid) How old are you? Kid: Eight. House:
And he swallowed something stuck to a fridge. Darwin says let him die. (One
Day, One Room)
House: Perjurer. Cuddy: Felon. (One Day, One
"Who's here for a runny nose? (a couple of people raise
their hands) It's a cold. It will get better. Go home!" (One Day, One Room)
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