Preston: So what's the story with you and Grey?
Derek: [pauses] I got drunk and she took advantage of me. Or she got drunk
and I took advantage of her. Well, either way, we were drunk, definitely,
and somebody took advantage. I look at it as my initiation into Seattle.
What about you?
Preston: I don't have a story, I just wanted to hear yours.
Richard: You and I both know she's the best in the field. Bringing Addison
out was a business decision. It's nothing personal.
Derek: Oh, well, that's a relief. Not personal. It's personal to me!
Alex: Surgery is the only specialty at the hospital where we don't waste
time getting to know the patients. They're slabs of meat, and we're
Meredith: Lets play a game of whose life sucks the most. I'll win. I always
Cristina: You don't want to play with me.
Meredith: Oh yes, I do. I'll even go first. Derek is married, as in
pig-headed adulterous liar married. [George spits out his beer]
Cristina: George, you have beer... coming out of your nostrils..."
Meredith: Alright, your turn."
Cristina: I'm pregnant. There. I win. [Joe collapses] Okay, maybe Joe wins.
Cristina: You and McDreamy are in a relationship.
Meredith: And you and Burke are in...
Cristina: Switzerland. You should go there! It's very neutral and they make
very nice watches.
Addison: Sometimes people do desperate things to get someone's attention.
But there are two sides to every story.
Derek: Addison and I are over, Adele.
Addison: Oh, it's not like we're divorced.
Derek: We're practically divorced.
Adele: [to Addison] You've had counseling?
Derek: We've had adultery. That was enough.
Meredith: (to Derek) I am a sink with an open drain, and anything you say
runs straight out. [storms off]
George: She probably could have used a better metaphor.
Izzie: Give her a break, she's got a hangover.
Cristina: Your problem is estrogen.
Meredith: No, my problem is tequila.
Meredith: [narrating] Surgeons are control freaks. With a scalpel in your
hand, you feel unstoppable. There's no fear, there's no pain. You're 10 feet
tall and bulletproof. And then you leave the O.R. All that perfection, that
beautiful control, just falls to crap.
Derek: It's okay.
Meredith: It's not okay. You have a wife who's not easy to hate. Who's
annoyingly kind and painfully smart, and currently saving my friend's life.
Richard: I've been sitting home for a week watching Oprah give away things
on T.V. Oprah, Derek!
Izzie: Why do you do that?
Alex: Do what?
Izzie: Act like an ass whenever any one but me is around. They hate you
enough as it is.
Bailey: Izzie, both Dr. Shepherds need an intern up on ICU.
Izzie: Wait... both of them, together? Me, by myself, with the two married
people who hate each other?
Bailey: Go. Cristina, you're on the thoracotomy.
Cristina: With Burke? I can't have the hateful married couple instead?
Meredith: (to Derek) Stop talking to me like you're my boyfriend. Stop
talking to me... at all! [Storms out]
Alex: Dude, that was rough.
Miranda: Do you have a problem?
Miranda: Do you have a mocha latte?
Miranda: Then go away.
Meredith: [jogging with Cristina] This is supposed to make us feel better.
Cristina: Do you feel better?
Meredith: A little.
Cristina: Slutty mistress.
Meredith: Pregnant whore.
Cristina: Sleeping with our bosses was a great idea!
Izzie: How can someone be so offensive, yet so charming all at the same
Alex: It's an art form.
Derek: Maybe you should've thought of all this before you gave chief to
Burke and invited Satan to Seattle.
Addison: Good morning Richard, like the hat.
Derek: Satan speaks.
Addison: Actually, I prefer to be called ruler of all that is evil. But I
will answer to Satan.
Izzie: You think... you think you know someone, know who they are. You share
a house and make wishes on eyelashes with them and we don't know each other,
none of us. We're just a bunch of interns who work together. There's nothing
Alex: Nice panties, Yang!
Cristina: In your dreams, Evil Spawn!
Derek: Addison kissed me. Meredith kissed me. My girlfriend and my wife
kissed me on the same day.
Miranda: McDreamy, go sit over by someone who cares.
George: You're officially AWOL, you know.
Cristina: I'm working. I'm trying to figure out what's going on with the
crazy woman on four.
George: You are the crazy woman on four.
Cristina: I made a break for freedom.
Addison: Derek... have you ever thought that even if I am Satan and an
adulterous bitch that I still might be the love of your life?
Derek: You really are Satan, you realize that right? If Satan were to take
physical form he'd be you, everywhere. All the time.
Addison: I am not Satan.
Derek: How come you haven't gotten on your broomstick and gone back to New
York where you belong?
Addison: Stop being petty.
Derek: Stop being an adulterous bitch.
Addison: You know there was a time when you though of me as your best
Derek: There was a time that I thought you were the love of my life. Things
Addison: (interrupts Meredith and Derek kissing) Well, isn't this cozy? Can
I join in, or are you not in to threesomes?
Meredith: I have to go.
Meredith: [narrating] The key to surviving a surgical internship is
denial... And most importantly, we deny that we're in denial... We lie to
ourselves so much that after a while the lies start to seem like the truth.
We deny so much that we can't recognize the truth... right in front of our
Meredith: [narrating] Sometimes reality has a way of sneaking up and biting
us in the ass. And when the dam bursts, all you can do is swim. The world of
pretend is a cage, not a cocoon. We can only lie to ourselves for so long.
We are tired, we are scared, and denying it doesn't change the truth. Sooner
or later we have to put aside our denial and face the world, head on, guns
blazing... Denial. It's not just a river in Egypt. It's a freakin' ocean. So
how do you keep from drowning in it?
Richard: Look that back-up generator should've been replaced last year.
Bailey: Yes, sir.
Richard: Why didn't it happen?
Bailey: Chief you ... eh ... have to ... ask maintenance, I wouldn't ...
Richard: Dr. Bailey. You know everything. Tell me whose butt to kick.
Bailey: That would be your butt Chief. You didn't authorize the replacement
generator. Saved the money for the new MRI machine.
Meredith [narrating]: Pain, it comes in all forms. The small twinge, a bit
of soreness, the random pain that we live with everyday. Then there is the
kind of pain you just can't ignore, a level of pain so great that it blocks
out everything else, makes the rest of your world fade away until all we can
think about is how much we hurt, how we manage our pain is up to us. We
anaesthetize, ride it out, embrace it, ignore it, and for some of us the
best way to manage pain is to just push through it.
Izzie: I had a good time. Really. Thank you. It's the perfect evening. Best
Izzie: You know I especially like the part where you treated me like crap
the entire night. That was fun.
Alex: I had a good time.
Alex: Yeah. (Izzie leans in, hoping...waiting for a goodnight kiss) I gotta
Izzie: Seriously?! Seriously?!
Izzie (outside the stuck elevator): Poor George, he doesn't have the
Bailey: Izzie, he can hear you.
Derek: Look at you, you look like a girl. Is that your date?
Bailey: It's my husband.
Derek: You're married?
Bailey: Ten years today. You haven't signed those divorce papers yet have
Derek: Bailey, tell me what to do. God, why does this have to be so hard?
Bailey: It's not hard. It's painful but it's not hard. You know what to do
already. If you didn't you wouldn't be in this much pain.
Derek: How come I didn't know you were married?
Bailey: You never asked.
Addison: Lightning hit a substation, we're working on back up generators,
one of them is down. Richard...breathe.
Richard: The only means of transporting patients from the E.R. to the O.R.
isn't working. Don't tell me to breathe, I'll breathe if I wanna breathe.
Meredith: You should take something.
Cristina: Drugs are for babies.
Izzie: I hate Alex.
Cristina: And the non sequitur award goes toÖ
Izzie: I'm sorry, but I hate Alex.
Meredith: I broke up with Derek.
Cristina: Burke wants to have a relationship.
Izzie: Boys are stupid.
Derek (to Meredith): Look, I was married for 11 years. Addison is my family.
That is 11 Thanksgiving's, birthdays, and 11 Christmas's and in one day I am
supposed to sign a piece of paper and end my family? A person doesn't do
that, not without a little hesitation. I'm entitled to a little uncertainty
here. Just a moment to understand the magnitude of what it means to cut
somebody out of my life. I am entitled to at least one moment of painful
doubt and a little understanding from you would be nice.
(Cristina is presenting a patient and he turns on porn)
Cristina: Is that--
Bailey: Porn? (looks at TV) As in porn?!?
Alex: What are we watching?
Bailey: Karev, go stand in the hall. Uh..Mr. and Mrs. Lamont, I'm sure
you're really... nice people and what you do in the privacy of your own
home... Look, we can't have porn in here. This is a hospital.
Henry: It's for my pain. My doc says it releases endorphins in the brain and
it helps keep my pain at a managable level.
George (stunned, and not taking his eyes off the TV): Really?
Bailey: George, hall.
Izzie: What is this?
Marie: Um... "Nasty Naughty Nurses..." (looks at TV) "...4".
(Meredith, Izzie and Cristina all turn their heads to view the porn better)
Cristina: That does not look comfortable.
Meredith: Trust me, it's not.
(Cristina and Izzie look at Meredith with shocked expressions)
Bailey (snaps fingers): Get in the hall.
Meredith: I lied. I'm not out ... of this relationship. I'm in. I'm so in
it's humiliating because here I am begging...
Meredith: Shut up. You say Meredith and I yell remember?
Meredith: Okay... here it is. Your choice, it's simple her or me. And I'm
sure she's really great. But, Derek, I love you... in a really, really
big... pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of
cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window, unfortunate way
that makes me hate you love you. So pick me. Choose me. Love me. I'll be at
Joe's tonight, so if you do decide to sign the papers... meet me there.
George: [about Bonnie] She's cracking jokes. How do you tell somebody that
she's going to be dead in a few minutes when she's sitting up, cracking
Preston: His injuries are far less severe. We have a much greater chance of
Derek: Well I could argue that because her injuries are more severe, he
should be the one that gets moved.
Meredith: So, basically, whoever you move doesn't stand a chance. How do you
choose? How do you decide who gets to live?
Richard: [sighs] Do you notice anything about this leg, Yang?
Richard: Such as the fact that it was shaved recently, and manicured? Does
this look like a man who would have shaved one of his legs this morning and
applied toenail polish?
Cristina: [pauses] No.
Richard: Find the man's leg, Yang. Now!
Derek: [to Bonnie's fiancee] She asked me to tell you... She wanted you to
know... that if love were enough... that if love were enough, that she'd
still be here with you.
Meredith: [drunkenly narrating] In general, people can be categorized in one
of two ways. Those who love surprises and those who don't. I don't. I've
never met a surgeon that enjoys a surprise, because as surgeons, we like to
be in the know. We have to be in the know, because when we aren't, people
die and lawsuits happen. ... My point, actually, and I do have one, has
nothing to do with surprises or death or lawsuits, or even surgeons. My
point is that whoever said 'What you don't know canít hurt you,' was a
complete and total moron. Because for most people I know, not knowing is the
worst feeling in the world. [sees passengers impaled on metal pole] Okay,
fine. Maybe the second worst.
Cristina: There you are. I've been looking everywhere for you.
Preston: What is it?
Cristina: I need to find this man's leg. The chief is going to kick me out
of the program if I don't. I cannot go back to Los Angeles. It's sunny
there. Every. Day.
Cristina: What? I need you to help me find the leg! Aren't boyfriends
supposed to help in situations like this?
Preston: When we're on duty, I can't be your boyfriend.
Cristina: Okay, fine. So, when we're on duty, I can have sex with someone
Preston: [pauses] Dr. Yang... I'm walking away now.
Izzie: (to Meredith, about Addison) Well, if it makes you feel any better, I
take issue with the salmon scrubs. I mean what self-respecting surgeon wears
Meredith: This is what I'm saying.
Meredith: "Ow. Ow. Ow."
Izzie: "What are you doing?"
Meredith: "I'm inserting my banana bag. It sounds vaguely dirty, but it's
Nicole: I'm like the oldest living prospective college freshman not to go to
Alex: Don't worry. There are way bigger losers than you, trust me.
Miranda: (steps in front of Derek) No. Turn around and walk away.
Derek: From what?
Miranda: From my intern!
Derek: No, I wasnít going-
Miranda: Yes you were. Come on. You canít do this. You donít have the right.
Derek: I just want to find out if she's okay.
Miranda: She's not. She's a human traffic accident, and everybody's slowing
down to look at the wreckage. She's doing the best she can with what she has
left, and I know you can't see this, 'cause you're in it, but you can't help
her now! You'll only make it worse. So walk away. Go!
Preston: So where do we stand?
Cristina: At the northeast corner of the hospital?
George: We have to do something. Meredith has become like an exhibit. Like a
zoo animal. Like that rare panda that everyone stares at.
Izzie: Please don't say that to her face. I think that panda died alone.
Derek: What do you really need? To make this marriage work?
Addison: You want me to pick up and move my entire practice? I want you to
give up your girlfriend.
Meredith: [narrating] Communication. It's the first thing we really learn in
life. The funny thing is, once we grow up, learn our words and really start
talking, the harder it becomes to know what to say. Or how to ask for what
we really need.
Alex: (to teenage patient who asks him to kiss her): Hey, listen. For a kiss
to be really good, you want it to mean something... to be with someone you
can't get out of your head, so that when your lips finally touch you feel it
everywhere... a kiss so hot and so deep that you never want to come up for
air. You can't cheat your first kiss. You don't want to. Trust me. When you
find that right person for a first kiss, it's everything.
Miranda: I'm pregnant, you blind moron.
Richard: Youíre what?
Miranda: My heart rate is 110, Iím burning 3,000 calories a day, my legs are
swollen, I've got indigestion and gas. Did you know carrying a boy in your
uterus means you burn 10 percent more calories than if you had a girl? Guess
what Iím carrying. I tried for seven damn years and a month before my
fellowship notifications the stick turns blue. Men. From the very beginning
they just suck the life right out of you. Iím not leaving. Iím pregnant.
Miranda: (to Meredith) You haven't told her yet? Okay, I didn't hear you say
that. You are her doctor. It is your responsibility to give your patients
the information necessary to make an informed decision. Now. I'm hungry, I'm
tired, and you're in my way.
Preston: Dr. Yang, you're handling the saw.
Cristina: You won't let me pick the wine, but this you'll let me do?
Woman in Restaurant: Oh my God! Is there a doctor here?
Preston and Cristina: Yes!
Derek: (to Meredith, in elevator) Well, this is fun. Hello again. I like the
Hello Kitty, by the way.
Cristina: I'm so hot! I can do hot in my sleep! I can do hot in scrubs!
Izzie: (to Savannah) There is a third option. Take your chances, get cancer,
and fight like hell to survive.
Cristina: I've already spent an hour picking bird parts out of this guy. I'm
George: Carpe diem.
Meredith: Right, you and my forehead. I'm beginning to look how I feel.
George: This is the luckiest day in the world!
Cristina: Tell that to the bird.
Meredith: My ex-boyfriend moved his wife to Seattle. Reason? To torture me.
Addison: (to Derek) Medicine aside, our friends are going through hell in
there, and we can't even act like we like each other long enough to help
Preston: So... it's date night.
Cristina: Yeah, it's a night... with a date.
Meredith: [narrating] For extra credit, Mrs. Snyder used to make us act out
all the parts. Sal Scafarillo was Romeo. As fate would have it, I was
Juliet. Most of the girls were green with envy. I wasn't. I told Ms. Snyder
that Juliet was an idiot. For one thing, she falls for the one guy she knows
she can't have... Everyone thinks it's so romantic: Romeo and Juliet, true
love... how sad. If Juliet was stupid enough to fall for the enemy, drink a
bottle of poison, and go to sleep in a mausoleum, then she deserved
everything she got.
Meredith: I think you can't wait for someone to fly underneath you and save
your life. I think you have to save yourself.
George: You mean, the pigeons aren't going to come?
Meredith: The pigeons aren't going to come.
Meredith: [narrating] Mrs. Snyder explained to me that when fate comes into
play, choice sometimes goes out the window. Maybe Romeo and Juliet were
fated to be together, but just for a while, and then their time passed. If
they could have known that beforehand, maybe it all would have been okay. I
told Mrs. Snyder that when I was grown up, I'd take fate into my own hands.
I wouldn't let some guy drag me down. Mrs. Snyder said that I'd be lucky if
I ever had that kind of passion with someone, and if I did, we'd be together
forever. Even now, I believe that for the most part, love is about choices.
It's about putting down the poison and the dagger and making your own happy
ending... most of the time. And sometimes, despite all your best intentions,
fate wins anyway.
George: This office couldn't be farther away.
Daisy: We don't like sick people.
George: Okay... you do realize you're in a hospital?
Addison: Derek, are you done hurting me back? Because, if not, I need to
special order a thicker skin.
Alex: (to Meredith, about failing his boards) If I tell Izzie, she'll be all
supportive and... she might as well just rip my nads off and turn them into
Meredith: I feel like one of those people who are so freaking miserable that
they can't be around normal people. Like I'll infect the happy people. Like
I'm some miserable, diseased, dirty ex-mistress.
Joe: This, is my boyfriend-
Cristina: Yeah, whatever, great. Where's the booze?
Joe: I brought a pie.
Cristina: But you're a bartender!
Joe: Did you bring a scalpel?
Meredith: (about her patient) He was looking at me.
Derek: He wasn't looking at you.
Meredith: He was!
Derek: The CT report says he wasn't.
Meredith: Do you want to argue with what I know I saw?
Derek: No, Meredith. I don't want to argue with you any more."
(A visiting doctor is at the hospital)
Dr. Kent: Look I'm only here for one day and I don't need my ass kissed. All
I need is to tell you what to do and you do it. I don't like mistakes.
Miranda: I don't make mistakes.
Dr. Kent: Whatever, there's only one resident I want in my OR -- this guy
they call the Nazi. Do you know him?
Miranda: The Nazi?
Dr. Kent: He gets a great word of mouth, a stellar rep. Balls the size of
Miranda: That big? Sounds like an impressively talented man, this 'Nazi.'
Dr. Kent: Do you know him or not?
MIRANDA: "Never heard of him but I'll be sure to keep an eye out."
Miranda: Surgeries, Grey! Lots and lots of surgeries. The stupidity of the
human race, Grey. Be thankful for that.
Meredith: [narrating] Maybe we're not supposed to be happy. Maybe gratitude
has nothing to do with joy. Maybe being grateful means recognizing what you
have for what it is. Appreciating small victories. Admiring the struggle it
takes simply to be human. Maybe we're thankful for the familiar things we
know. And maybe we're thankful for the things we'll never know. At the end
of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing is reason
enough to celebrate.
Miranda: You are a surgical junkie. Go home!
Richard: Adele is already mad. I'm in trouble no matter what ... and there's
a wipple happening in OR 2.
Miranda: Go home, right now!
(Dr.Kent walks close)
Richard: [walking away] You know this kind of treatment is the reason they
call you the Nazi!
Miranda: [smiles] Happy Thanksgiving.
(Cristina holds up key)
Meredith: Burke keyed you?
Cristina: I got freaking keyed before coffee.
Meredith: What is wrong with them?
Cristina: They're like these 1950s debutantes, one dance and there's a
shotgun to your head.
Meredith: (to Cristina) They always look so sad when I kick them out.
Seriously, why do guys not understand that when you pick them up in a bar
and take them home for sex, that there are no picket fences or kids in your
Izzie: (to pregnant patient expecting quints) Guess when you take those
fertility pills, you should read the fine print, huh?
George: (watches Mer's hookup run out of house) He's new.
Izzie: And I shall name him: Running Guy.
Meredith: You're going through his stuff, aren't you?
Cristina: There's no stuff to go through. It's a freak show. I mean, you can
do surgery in here. Oh, and he arranges his books using the Dewey Decimal
System! Mer, I'm scared.
Meredith: Get out, get out of the house! Now.
Izzie: I just... I just need some sex, George. You know, I just, I need sex
NOW. You know what I mean?
George: No matter how hard you beg, I am not doing you.
Cristina: (shows Preston her apartment) This is where I live. My mother
decorated it. I don't do laundry, I buy new underwear. The table? Six months
of magazines I know I'll never read but I won't throw out. I don't wash
dishes, vacuum, or put the toilet paper on the holder. I hired a maid once.
She ran away crying. The only things in my fridge are water, vodka, and diet
soda, and I don't care. But you do. Still think living together is a good
Derek: So, when did this problem begin?
Steve: Well, I had an erection last night and woke up with one this morning.
Miranda: Umm, Dr. Shepherd, if you don't need me, the other Dr. Shepherd
needs a consult on one of the quints.
Derek: Yeah, no we're fine. So when did you last ejaculate?
Steve: I'm not sure. Meredith?
Cristina: (leaves) Oh, I'm... I'm gonna go with Dr. Bailey.
Steve: Meredith, what time did we, uh...you know.
Derek: Yes, Meredith. What time did you two?
Preston: (to Cristina) I know you. You don't want to move but I can't always
be the one that takes a step. Any more steps and I'm walking away.
Alex: I'm a hotshot doctor. I don't have any problems.
Robert: You probably don't have any friends, either.
Cristina: Congratulations, you're flaccid.
Steve: Never thought I'd be glad to hear that.
Alex: Still not talking to me?
Olivia: You gave me syphilis! And I am talking to you. I just don't have
anything to say.
Crictina: What the hell is this?
Preston: It's a key.
Preston: Why is it a key? Are we feeling existential this morning?
Cristina: Well, if the key turns in a lock, and no one asked for the key or
even wanted the key, does it make a sound?
Addison: Dory, this is Dr. Shepherd. He's our head of neurosurgery.
Dory: Oh, another Dr. Shepherd.
Addison: He's my husband, actually.
Dory: Wow. Look at you two. Everybody must hate you.
Addison: You have no idea.
Steve: Hey, maybe when I get out of here, we could...
Meredith: I don't think so. You know, when I saw you at Joe's, I was just
looking for a replacement. Looking for something to make me feel better. You
deserve better than that.
Derek: I just didn't know you two were dating.
Meredith: You knew it would happen eventually.
Derek: Eventually feels a lot different than actually.
Meredith: Yeah, I guess it does.
Derek: It's surprisingly painful.
Meredith: It gets better.
Derek: Does it?
Miranda: You try spending a month locked in a room with no windows, no one
to talk to 23 hours a day. See how deranged you are then.
Cristina: She's a murderer.
Miranda: I didn't say she wasn't. I said, try having no one to make your
snarky comments to for a solid month. My guess is, you'd swallow the entire
Cristina: Is she crazy?
Paramedic: If you call a murderer crazy.
Constance: Yeah, BABY, that's what I'm talkin' about!
Miranda: These are preemies, people. They were supposed to spend another
eight weeks in the womb. Just like interns, they're not ready for the real
George: A dog is not a replacement for a human being!
Preston: I made breakfast.
Cristina: I don't have time for breakfast! I've got to round before anyone
else if I want to get the good cases, you know that!
George: You know, you can't say that you weren't warned. Alex has always
Meredith: You dodged a bullet, Izz. You're better off without him.
Cristina: Why are you even surprised? You sleep with a snake, you get bit.
Izzie: Thanks, guys... for the support.
Meredith: [narrating] Forty years ago, the Beatles asked the world a
question. They wanted to know where all the lonely people came from. My
theory is that a great many of the lonely people come from hospitals. More
precisely, the surgical wing of hospitals. As surgeons, we ignore our own
needs so we can meet our patients' needs. We ignore our friends and families
so we can save other people's friends and families. Which means that, at the
end of the day, all we really have is ourselves. And nothing in this world
can make you feel more alone than that.
Izzie: When Derek broke up with you, nobody told you were better off without
him. It's not supportive, it's condescending. I was there for you, and the
one time I need you? Just go away, Meredith.
Derek: (to Alex) Look, you screwed up. Mr. Martin's fried. He wakes up, you
fried his brain. He dies, you killed him. Deal with it.
Richard: You're not here to make friends, Addison. You're here to make
better surgeons. Being a teacher can be a lonely business.
Izzie: You tell me to cut my losses, that I'm better off without him, and as
soon as I turn my back...
Meredith: C'mon! Alex and I are kind of friends.
Izzie: Since when? When did you and Alex become friends?
Meredith: Don't you think you're overreacting? It's not like I'm going to
sleep with him.
Izzie: Why not, you've slept with everyone else.
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