C.S.I. Season One Favorite Quotes From The TV MegaSite
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C.S.I. Favorite Quotes

Our favorite funny lines!

C.S.I. first season (more coming soon)


SERGEANT O'RILEY: Here comes the "nerd squad".

JIM BRASS: That's a maggot, and he stinks. Oh, good, it's almost 11:00. Maybe
if I'm lucky I can break out of here in time for a shot at the first rack of the
Krispy Kreme.

GIL GRISSOM: Thanks. (beat) Would you mind taking off your jacket and rolling
up your sleeve?


GIL GRISSOM: I need a pint of your blood. It's customary for all new hires.


GIL GRISSBON: (he chuckles) So many reasons.

(HOLLY takes off her jacket.)

HOLLY GRIBBS: I-I haven't even clocked in yet.

GIL GRISSOM: Here, try one of these.

HOLLY GRIBBS: No offense, but I don't think I want to eat anything that's been
in this office.

(GRISSOM pulls the jar away from her and looks at her. HOLLY reaches in the jar
and takes one out. She examines it. GRISSOM also takes one.)

HOLLY GRIBBS: Is there a grasshopper in here?

(Looking directly at HOLLY, GRISSOM pops the grasshopper into his mouth and
chews. HOLLY grimaces.)

HOLLY GRIBBS: You're prejudging me. I graduated with honors in criminal
justice at UNLV.

JIM BRASS: (flippantly) Yeah, so?

HOLLY GRIBBS: That's not fair.

JIM BRASS: Fair? Well, you think putting a juiced-in Lieutenant's daughter on
this shift is fair? You know, I've been in the field 22 years. I've seen it
all. I've seen people like you come and go, and you know what? They don't
amount to nothing but headaches and bad press. Dismissed.

CATHERINE WILLOWS: What do you think?

WARRICK BROWN: Oh, he's lying. That's why I took this job. I can always tell
when whitey's talking out his ass. It's a gift.

HOLLY GRIBBS: (gasping) There were bodies. I could feel them breathing. Oh,

(GRISSOM puts his arms around HOLLY and holds her.)

GIL GRISSOM: It's okay, Holly, it's all right.

(He turns around and yells through the glass in the door to the decomposing dead
bodies on the gurneys inside.)

GIL GRISSOM: (muffled) You assholes!!

(He turns back to HOLLY. She smiles at the gesture.)


WARRICK BROWN: Tripped over a rattle, my ass.

JIM BRASS: If you want me to call Judge Cohen at 4:00 in the morning you'd
better bring me something more than a damn toenail.

JIM BRASS: We'll talk about your little foot fetish later.

WARRICK BROWN: Damn it, Gris. I had his ass too!

GIL GRISSOM: Yes, you had him and the minute you started thinking about
yourself instead of the case, you lost him. There is no room for subjectivity
in this department, Warrick. You know that. We handle each case objectively
without presupposition regardless of race, color, creed, or bubble gum flavor.

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