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Charmed Transcript

"Rewitched" Episode: #8.5 - 23 October 2005

Contributed by Suzanne
Proofread by Lorie

Previously on Charmed...

Phoebe:  I call upon the ancient powers to mask us now and in future hours. Hide us well and thoroughly, but not from those we call family.

Paige:  Oh, my goodness. Is that me?

Piper: Is it the you you envisioned?  You know, this just might work.


Jack:  Being magical is part of who you are.  You may have been able to change your identities, but you didn't 436E3E24.JPGchange that.

Piper:  No. I guess I just miss the old me a little.


Phoebe:  Dex Lawson. Nice to meet you, Dex. 

Dex:  You, too.


Phoebe:  He's the one, according to every magical calculation there is. It all times out perfectly. You know, my vision of us getting married, when I'm supposed to get pregnant. All of it.


436E3E3C.JPGBillie:  I can help you guys fight the demons so you don't have to do it all the time.

Piper:  What's the catch?

Billie:  Teach me everything you know about witchcraft.   So when can we go vanquish demons?

Paige:  Okay. 3 dead innocents, 3 weeks, all near Memorial Hospital.

Billie:  Yes, and one witch that's gonna vanquish a whole lot of--

Paige:  Nothing.

Billie:  What?

Paige:  Nothing.  Look, all we need you to do is surveillance, especially because it's your first solo outing.

Billie:  Oh, come on!

Paige:  How can you vanquish a demon until you know 436E3E54.JPGwhat you're up against?

Billie:  I'll bring extra potions.

Paige:  No. You are going to go, you are going to I.D. the demon, and then you are gonna come up with a plan after that.

Billie:  You know, I just have one question. Are you guys really this overly protective, 436E3E62.JPGor are you just afraid of letting go?

Paige:  What?

 Billie:  I'm just sayin', there's got to be a reason you keep holding me back. Or maybe you just secretly wanna be out there doing it yourself.

Paige:  That's ridiculous. First of all, I don't want to be fighting demons anymore, let alone teaching you how to fight demons anymore. 436E3E76.JPG

Billie:  Great. Then why don't you loosen the leash a little bit, and let me show you what I can do.

Paige:  Because I'd really rather you not die.  

Billie:  [Sighs] Okay.

Paige:  Go get my car, drive to the hospital, find out who's attacking the innocents, okay?

[Sighs you guys a so not fun. Somebody plee help me! My wife trapped. I can't t-- hey, buddy, what's wrong? I crashed my car. My wife, she's pregnant. She's pinned, I can't get her out-- where is she? She's down there. Please, please help me! 436E3EAC.JPG We'll go from there.

Billie:  Okay, you got it.

Paige:  Eh, Billie.  Empty those pockets.

Billie:  What?

Paige:  Empty 'em, Missy.  [Billie takes potion bottles out of her pockets] Back ones, too.

Billie:  [Billie takes out another potion bottle and brass knuckles] You guys are so not fun.

Antosis:  [Sobbing] Help me! Somebody please help me! My wife is having a kid--

Man: Hey, buddy, what's wrong?

Antosis:  I crashed my car, and my wife, she's pregnant, she's pinned, I can't get her out.

Man:  Where is she?

Antosis:  She's down there.  Please, please help me!

[He points and the Man runs that direction]

[Antosis stops sobbing, sends something magical after the man, then disappears]

Man:  Hey, where did you say she is? [Turns to see the magical creatures attacking] Aah! Oh! Ah! Ah! Aah!

[Cut to Billie getting out of her car near the alley]

[Man is being attacked]

[Billie hears his yells and runs down the alley to see him being attacked]

[She uses magic to destroy some of the creatures and starts punching as they swarm her]

Billie:  [She grabs one by the wing] Eew! Gross!

[A creature cuts her arm]

Billie:  Ow! [The swarm retreats and she goes to help the man] Okay, come on. We need to get you to a hospital.  Come on.

[A man watches them exit the alley through binoculars]

Piper:  [Getting ready at the mirror] Oh, come on. It's only for a few hours tomorrow, and you yourself said you haven't been meeting any cute guys lately.

Paige:  Okay, there are not gonna be any cute guys there because they're all desperate, and that is why they are doing speed dating.

Piper:  That is not necessarily true. 436E3FEB.JPG

Paige:  Oh yeah, then how come you're so nervous about having it at the club?

Piper:  Hey, it wasn't my idea. It was Dad's idea, as was bingo night. I'm just trying to do a little damage control.

Paige:  Well, you cancelled that, so cancel this.

Piper:  I can't. It's too late. Which is why I need your help. Come on. I need to up the babe quotient a little.

Paige:  So you're pimping me out.

Piper:  What? Do you wanna be homeless? Because that's 436E3FFF.JPGwhat's gonna happen if we lose our only source of income.

Paige:  Thanks, Miss Guilt Giver.

Piper:  I will resort to whatever I have to. Besides, you might actually meet someone you like. 436E400C.JPG

Paige: [Scoffs] Yeah.

Leo:  [Enters holding Baby Chris] Baby Tylenol?

Piper:  Top shelf. How is he feeling?

Leo:  Ah, the fever's going down. I'm gonna put him down early.

Piper:  How's Wyatt?

Leo:  Oh, you know... doing better.  You know, I think he should stay at your dad's another day or so, just to be on the safe side. [Looking at her in the mirror] I think I like your other alias better.

Piper:  Well, too bad. Get used to it. [Leo leaves]

[Phoebe enters]

Phoebe:  Hey, can I borrow a suitcase?

Piper:  Closet.

Paige: So is Julie 436E4026.JPGgonna be helping with the speed dating?

Phoebe:  Nope. I'm ovulating.

Paige:  What?

Phoebe:  You know, eggs, fertility, baby making?

Paige:  Yeah, I got it. I know what ovulating is, thank you.

Phoebe:  Well, I'm supposed to get pregnant by Dex, right? What better place to try than Napa?

Paige:  Uh, I thought your premonition was about you getting married to Dex.

Phoebe:  Well, one step at a time. At least, that's what my star chart keeps saying. I gotta get to work.

436E403F.JPGPaige:  Work? What happened to love?

Phoebe:  No time for that. Destiny calls. [She leaves, pulling suitcases]

Paige:  Is that what we've been reduced to? Loveless sex... pimping?

Piper:  Yes. [Spots Billie in the hall] Billie!

Billie:  Yeah?

Piper:  Just the girl I was lookin' for. Are you by any chance single?

Billie:  Why?

Paige:  Forget it, Piper. She's not even old enough to drink. So, how did the surveillance go? 436E4059.JPG

Billie:  The surveillance? Oh, it was fine. It was great. It was totally fine.

Paige:  Okay. Did you I.D. the demon?

Billie:  Um...you know, actually, I--

[Doorbell rings]

Billie:  I'll get that.  [Walks away and checks her wound when she's out of sight] Ow.

Phoebe:  [Watches Billie from her cracked door] Uh...Paige?

[Sighs you guys a so not fun. Somebody plee help me! My wife trapped. I can't t-- hey, buddy, what's wrong? I crashed my car. My wife, she's pregnant. She's pinned, I can't get her out-- where is she? She's down there. Please, please help me! 436E3EAC.JPG

[Billie answers the door]

Murphy:  Hi.

Billie:  Hi. Can I help you?

Murphy:  Yeah, I think you can. Agent Murphy, Homeland Security. We need to talk.

Imp Master:  Please, it wasn't their fault, Antosis. 436E407E.JPGThe witch surprised them. They--they weren't prepared.

Antosis:  Except...you told me that they could handle surprises. That's one of the reasons why I brought you and your little pests here in the first place. Killing good Samaritans, placing my mark across entire neighborhoods... and of course, the ever-present risk of the unexpected. For example, now.

Imp Master:  Now?

Antosis:  Do I kill you? Or do I give you 436E40A0.JPGand your toothy friends another shot at helping me get that territory?

Imp Master:  Well, of course, if I have a choice, I would rather--

Antosis:  You don't.

Imp Master:  We've helped you get this far, haven't we? Replacing us now might, uh, set you back, open up the territory to other demons.

Antosis:  What about your witch?

Imp Master:  She won't surprise us again. She can't. We'll be waiting for her next time.

Murphy:  I've been following you, Billie... 436E40C2.JPGfor a while now.

Billie:  You have? Why?

Murphy:  I think you know why.

Billie:  If I knew why, I wouldn't ask why, would I?

Murphy:  Cute.

Billie:  Thanks.

Murphy:  Wasn't a compliment.  Look, I'm just trying to solve a mystery here, Billie. In the process, you know, maybe save a few innocent lives, but I'm gonna need your help to do that. I'm gonna need you to come clean about... what it is that brought you here 436E40DB.JPGand what you know about the Halliwell sisters.

Billie:  Who?

Murphy:  Call anytime. Call. Soon. [He leaves]

[Billie turns as the sisters come down the stairs]

Piper:  Who was that?

Billie:  Oh, that? That guy? Um... just a guy. From Homeland Security.

Phoebe:  What? 

Piper:  What did he say? What did he want?

Billie:  Well, he said that... he's been following me.

Paige:  Why?

Billie:  I don't know. He probably thinks I know something about you guys.

Phoebe:  Great. Just great.

Paige:  Did he follow you 436E40FF.JPGto the hospital?

Piper:  What hospital?

Paige:  You didn't use your powers, did you?

Billie:  Well, I had no choice. The imps were attacking an innocent.

Piper:  Imps?

Billie:  According to the book, imps are these gremlin-like creatures, but way nastier.

Piper:  I know what imps are.

Phoebe:  If he saw her use magic, we're screwed.

Billie:  Why? He can't prove you're alive. You don't even look like you.

Phoebe:  Well, he must have known you were connected to us 436E4111.JPGsomehow. Otherwise, he wouldn't be following you, right?  You shouldn't have sent her out.

Paige:  She was just supposed to go and I.D. the demon.

Billie:  That's all that I did! Look, imps have an imp master, so if we attack the imp master, we can--

Piper:  No, Billie. They're guns for hire. They could be working for any demon.

Billie:  That's what I'm saying. We get the imp master so he can tell us exactly where they are. 436E4124.JPG

Phoebe:  No. We're not gonna do anything.

Billie:  But I think--

Piper:  No buts.  She's right. If they're watching you, that means they're watching us, and we need to be careful.

Paige:  So what are we supposed to do?

Piper:  We just act normally and live our lives, and hopefully he'll go away, sooner or later.   We'll go to P3 tomorrow just like we planned and--

Paige:  Great!

Piper:  And you'll go to Napa 436E4136.JPGwith Dex.

Phoebe:  Well, I can't go now.

Piper:  Why? He's gonna be here in a few minutes.

Phoebe:  Well, let's just say I'm not in the mood anymore. This ruse isn't really working very well, is it?

Piper:  Well, maybe we need to give it a little more time.

Billie:  You guys, I'm so sorry.

Phoebe:  It's okay, sweetie. It's not your fault.

Paige:  So much for happily ever after.

Billie:  [Flips through the Book of Shadows] Oh, come on, come on, come on! There's got to be some way to fix this.   I could put Murphy to sleep.  No, no. That won't work.  "To make a lover's dream come true." Hmm. Well, maybe at least this one will help Phoebe out.

[Sighs you guys a so not fun. Somebody plee help me! My wife trapped. I can't t-- hey, buddy, what's wrong? I crashed my car. My wife, she's pregnant. She's pinned, I can't get her out-- where is she? She's down there. Please, please help me! 436E3EAC.JPG

[Sighs you guys a so not fun. Somebody plee help me! My wife trapped. I can't t-- hey, buddy, what's wrong? I crashed my car. My wife, she's pregnant. She's pinned, I can't get her out-- where is she? She's down there. Please, please help me! 436E3EAC.JPG 436E4156.JPG

[Doorbell rings and Phoebe answers]

Phoebe:  Dex!

Dex:  Hey.  Uh...what's wrong?

Phoebe:  Uh...I'm so sorry.

Billie:  [Upstairs] Hear these words, hear my rhyme, bless these two in this time, bring them both into the fold, help them now cross love's threshold.

Phoebe:  Please believe me, this has nothing to do with you. It's just--

[Sighs you guys a so not fun. Somebody plee help me! My wife trapped. I can't t-- hey, buddy, what's wrong? I crashed my car. My wife, she's pregnant. She's pinned, I can't get her out-- where is she? She's down there. Please, please help me! 436E3EAC.JPG 436E417F.JPG

Dex:  Just what?

Phoebe:  Well... [They both glow with magic, then she kisses him] What are we waiting for?

Dex:  I don't know. Let's go.


Piper:  Hi. Listen, Top 40 only. Really, one power ballad, and you'll never DJ in this state again. Seriously. Hi. You. Come here, come here, come here. Table 8. Water spots on the glass. Please fix it, fix it, fix it. Jeff, did you do the final sound check?

Jeff:    Yeah, I sure did.

Paige:  Okay, you need to relax just a little bit.

Piper:  I'll have plenty of time to relax when this thing tanks.

Paige:  Why are you worried? 436E4245.JPG This is not going to tank.

Piper:   Because it's what I do best, okay? Dave, where are the mints? We need mints on the table if we're gonna matchmake here. Thank you. And people, help me out. Okay, so listen, be nice and try not to blow anyone off until at least the second round.

Paige:  I'm here, aren't I?

Piper:  All right, let 'em in.

[Crowd enters and a dorky guy smiles at Paige]

Paige:  You so owe me.

[Both laugh]

[Phoebe & Dex, dressed as bride and groom, kiss at the doorstep of the house]

Dex:  I love you, Mrs. Lawson.

Phoebe:  Oh, say it again.

Dex:  Mrs. Lawson.

Phoebe:  [They kiss] I love it.

Dex:  [She starts to enter the house] Uh, wait. I have to carry my bride across the threshold, don't I?

Phoebe:  Ooh.  [The magic wears off as they enter and he drops her]  Wooo!

Dex:  Oh, what happened? [He helps her up]

Phoebe:  You dropped me, that's what happened.

Dex:  Look, I'm sorry.

Phoebe:  You should be sorry.

Dex:  What, uh -- I

Phoebe:  Uh, ooh...

Dex:  Why was I just carrying you?

Phoebe:  What are you wearing? What am I wearing?  [Sees a diamond ring and gasps]  Oh!

Dex:  Did we just do what I think we just did?

Phoebe:  [Breathing heavily] You... and just-- I need a-- [She turns and walks away]

[Sighs you guys a so not fun. Somebody plee help me! My wife trapped. I can't t-- hey, buddy, what's wrong? I crashed my car. My wife, she's pregnant. She's pinned, I can't get her out-- where is she? She's down there. Please, please help me! 436E3EAC.JPG

Phoebe: [Enters the attic] What did you do to me?

[Billie shrugs and smiles]

Man #1:  Tell me, was your dad a thief? 436E42AF.JPG

Paige:  No. Why?

Man #1:  'Cause he stole the stars and put 'em in your eyes.


Man #2:  Yo, if I could rearrange the letters of the alphabet, you and I... would be together. Uhh! 436E42DC.JPG


Whit:  [Sitting down] You look like you need a break.

Paige:  Yeah, I'm just a... little overwhelmed.

Whit:  You wanna sit this session out?

Paige:  No! No, actually, it'd be... perfectly great if you stayed.

Whit:  My name's Whit.

Paige:  Hello, Whit.

Nick:  Hey. I'm Nick.

Piper:  Hi.  I'm married.

Nick:  Yeah, I know. I read your bio, Jamie. I work for 415 Magazine, and I came here 436E430F.JPGto do a piece on failing clubs, but apparently, I'm in the wrong place.

Piper:  [Laughs] Oh, yeah?

Nick:  Yeah, yeah.  It seems you made speed dating cool. And that's news, so I'd like to figure out how you did it. What do you say I interview you around 6:00 tonight?

Piper:  Uh...6:00? 436E4322.JPGUh-yeah. Sure.

Nick:  See you then. [He leaves]

[Cell phone rings]

Piper:  Hello? Billie did what?!


Whit:  So I said, "How much for the tool?" And I've been working at Homes for Humanity ever since.

Paige:  [Laughs] I think, uh... you might just be too good to be true

Whit:  Ditto.

Piper:  Hello. Sorry to interrupt. Um...I just got a call, and, uh, we need to go home. 436E4340.JPG

Paige:  Yeah, well, now's not really a great time.

Piper:  Uh-huh.  But it's a family emergency.

Paige:  [Chuckles] Excuse me. [Leaves the table] Okay. I thought you were done with those.

Piper:  Uh, well, apparently not.

Paige:  Fine. You take this one. I'll take the next.

436E4358.JPGPiper:  Listen, Jo--

Paige:  Look, I did you a favor by letting you drag me here.  Now you do me a favor by letting me stay.

Piper:  Fine. Be that way.

Paige:  Fine. I will. [Returns to the table] Ah.  Sorry about that.  Where were we?

[Piper walks out, passing Agent Murphy who turns to watch Paige]

[Dex paces at the house, hearing muffled arguing of Phoebe and Billie upstairs]

[Piper enters]

Piper:  Hi!

Dex:  Hi.

Piper:  Dex, right?

Dex:  Right.

Piper:  I'm Julie. Jamie. Julie's cousin.

Dex:  Ah. 436E4383.JPG

Piper:  Uh...where's the lucky bride?

[Dex glances upstairs as muffled arguing continues]

Piper: Excuse me. [She goes upstairs]

[Leo enters with Baby Chris]

Leo:  Who are you?

Dex:  Um...

Billie:  I was just trying to help!

Phoebe:  How is this helping?

Billie:  Well, I didn't mean for you to get married!

Phoebe: Well, you know what? I did. And I cannot believe that you used magic when we specifically told you not to!

Billie:  I thought you just meant demon magic, 436E43A0.JPGnot innocent magic.

Phoebe:  Oh, really? And this is innocent?

Billie:  Well...you look fabulous!

Phoebe:  You know what? Don't try to butter me up with a compliment, Missy!

[Piper storms in]

Piper:  Are you out of your mind? What did you do now?

Billie:  Do I have to start from the beginning again?

Piper:  I can't believe you did this, with Agent Murphy watching our every move!

Phoebe:  Skip down. I already went through that with her.

Billie:  You know, I still don't know 436E43B4.JPGwhat I did that was so bad.

Phoebe:  This-- This is what's bad. [Holds up her hand with the new diamond ring]

Piper:  Whoa.  Hey.  Wow, that's huge.

Phoebe:  Wha--

Billie:  Look, you guys.  I am so sorry, all right.  I know, I know I screwed up with the imps, and, which actually I really don't think that I did.  And then I felt bad, like I ruined your, your lives. I just wanted to fix it.  That's it!

Piper:  By getting them married?

Billie:  No, no, not exactly.. But she was supposed to get married anyways, right?

Phoebe:  Yeah, but normally, not magically.

Billie:  How do you know? How do you know it wasn't supposed to happen exactly like this? And she foresaw it, right? She knew it was gonna happen.

Piper:  That is completely besides the point!

Billie:  I don't think so.

Piper:  Well, I do, and I'm older, so what I think counts more. 436E43DB.JPG

[Billie groans]

Phoebe:  Maybe she's right. I mean, maybe this is how it was supposed to happen. How else would you explain Dex and I getting married so quickly?

Piper:  I'm confused. Are we mad at her or not?

Phoebe:  We're not.

Billie:  Oh! Yes! Good. [Claps] Now can I go back to looking for the imp demon?

Phoebe and Piper: [Together] No!

Billie:  No? What about the next innocent?  What we have learned 436E43F6.JPGabout this specific demon is if we don't get him, he's gonna keep going after these people!

Phoebe:  Billie, if we get exposed, we may never be able to help an innocent again. Do you understand that?

Billie:  Yeah, but don't--

Piper:  Billie, she's right. You gotta pick your battles, and right now, this is not one of them.

[Billie sighs]

Nurse:  I'm a nurse. Where is he? 436E440D.JPG

Antosis:  My son. He's at the bottom of the fire escape. He's not moving!

Nurse:  Call 911. [She runs down the alley]

[Antosis sends the imps after her]

Nurse: [Offscreen] Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah--

[The imps return and fly past Antosis to the Imp Master, who steps out from a doorway]

Antosis:  Where's your witch?

Imp Master:  Maybe we scared her off last time.

Antosis:  If she came once, she'll be back. Witches can't help but help other people. It's their fatal flaw.

Piper:  What are you gonna say to him?

Phoebe:  I don't know. I'm just gonna wing it.

Piper:  Wing it? He's married. Don't you think he's gonna want to know why? 436E456E.JPG

Phoebe:  Well, he doesn't have to know it was magic.

Piper:  Still, what is he gonna think?

Phoebe:  Maybe that he got really drunk?  I mean, the point is, it happened. So that's what I have to focus him on-- for his sake and mine.

Piper:  Wait, Phoebe, hold it. Hang on a second. Hang on. You're really gonna go through with this thing?

Phoebe:  I don't have a choice.

Piper:  Yeah, but Phoebe--

Phoebe:  I know that this is not my Cinderella wedding, okay. But I also know that everything happens for a reason. So I have to just go with it.

Piper:  'Till death do you part?

Leo and Dex: [From the other room] Whoo! Yes! Man! Oh, man! 436E4589.JPG

Leo:  [Watching football on TV] Did you see that move?

Dex:  Can you believe he held on to that thing?

Piper: Hi. How's it going?

Leo:  It's good. We're watching the game. Hey, did you know Dex here used to play?

Phoebe:  No. I didn't know that.

Dex:  Just a little college ball. Nothing, really.

Leo: Oh, come on.  Nothing, really.

Piper:  Uh, honey, I gotta get back to the club. 436E459C.JPG

Leo:  Okay. Well, I'll see you tonight.

Piper:  Don't you wanna... walk me to the door?

Leo:  Oh, uh, sure. Um. It was nice meeting you. Congratulations. [Leo and Piper go to the door]

Dex:  Thanks.

[In the hallway]

Piper:  Aren't you even remotely surprised that they're married?

Leo:  Not at all. She had that premonition.

Piper:  Yeah, okay. Forget it. Listen, just try and give them a little space, okay? I have to go. I've got an interview.

Leo:  An interview? Really, about what? 436E45BC.JPG

Piper:  About P3 and me... or, you know, the me they think I am. 436E45CB.JPG

Leo:  It's still the same you. At least on the inside. You should be excited.

Piper:  I am. Bye. [Kisses Leo] Bye, baby. [Kisses Chris and leaves]


Dex:  You changed.

Phoebe:  Those things aren't very comfortable.

Dex:  Do you even remember how you got it?

Phoebe:  No.

Dex:  Yeah, me neither. Look, Julie, I don't know what's going on here, but... if you want to go down to city hall and get this fixed, uh...

Phoebe:  To get it annulled?

Dex:  Well, yeah.

Phoebe:  Is that what you want?

Dex:  Look, I don't know what I want. It's just really weird. 436E45E3.JPGI mean, one minute we're off to Napa, and the next minute we're like...

Phoebe:  Yeah. I know. I mean, it's weird for me, too.

Dex:  Yeah?

Phoebe:  Yeah.

Dex:  Somehow you seem like... okay with it. I mean, the fact that we just got married.

Phoebe:  No. I mean, I'm not okay with it. It's just... things happened to me in my life, and I've learned to accept them, you know? 436E4600.JPGI've had to.

Dex:  Uh, yeah.  This sort of thing happens to you all the time?

Phoebe:  Well, no. [Smiles] Not exactly this, but... you know, other things have. And it always turns out okay. And I guess I've just learned to trust that.

Dex:  Even though we have no idea how we got married.

Phoebe:  Well, I kind of feel like that part's irrelevant. I mean, really, whether we remember it or not, it happened. And I believe that everything 436E4620.JPGhappens for a reason. So, uh... I don't know. Maybe we should just see this through. It's not like we don't care about each other.

Dex:  True.

Phoebe:  And I guess if things don't work out, we can...just have it annulled in the future, right?

Dex:  True. It's crazy, you know.

Phoebe:  Yeah. I know. [She puts her head on his shoulder]

[Paige giggles as they enter the room kissing]

Paige:  Okay, wait. I think maybe we should... slow this down a little. 436E4651.JPG

Whit:  Whew. You're right. I'm sorry.

Paige:  [Chuckles] No, I'm--I'm sorry.

Whit:  Whew. Uh... why don't you tell me a little more about yourself?

Paige:  Well, I, uh... screw it. [She grabs him and they start kissing again]

Whit:  God, you're beautiful, Jo. [Paige stops] What's the matter?

436E467F.JPGPaige:  [She sees herself as Jo in the mirror] I can't do this.

Whit:  Okay. Okay. Um... was it something I said?

Paige:  No. Absolutely not. It's not you. I'm sorry. [She leaves]



Billie:  Phoebe! Are you in there? Phoebe, phoebe.

Phoebe:  [Sleepily opens the door] What?

Billie:  So I think I found out who the imp master is working for.

Phoebe:  Shhh! [She comes into the hall]

Billie:  No, no, you don't understand. I cross-referenced all the demons that go after good Samaritans and then the ones that typically recruit others. I came up with 436E469B.JPGa high level demon .

Phoebe:  Billie--

Billie:  Then I narrowed it down to one demon. His name is Antosis, but unfortunately, we need the Power of Three to vanquish him. So I have a plan.

Phoebe:  Forget it.

Billie:  What do you mean, forget it?

Phoebe:  I mean forget it. We are not doing this.

Billie:  But that was before I found the demon!

Phoebe:  A Power of Three demon.

Billie:  So? 

Phoebe:  So?  We can't take that risk!

Billie:  But what about the greater good 436E46AE.JPGand everything you taught me that you guys were about?

Phoebe:  Okay, you know what, Billie, you have to understand this is hard for us, also.  We are not doing this, and we'll talk more about it in the morning, okay?

Billie:  No. It's not okay. [She walks away]

Phoebe:  [Sighs]

Dex:  [Opens the door behind Phoebe and looks out] Is everything all right?

Phoebe:  No. It's not all right.

[Phoebe sits downstairs in front of the fireplace]

[Paige comes home]

Paige:  Hey.

Phoebe:  Hey.

Paige:  What are you doin'?

Phoebe:  Oh, just sittin' here thinkin'.

Paige:  Yeah? Mind if I join you?

Phoebe:  No, of course not. Pull up a pillow. 

Paige: Whooo. [Sighs]

Phoebe: What's the matter?

Paige:  Oh, it's just been 436E47A1.JPGa very interesting day.

Phoebe:  Tell me about it.

Paige:  What? I take it Dex didn't like not being able to go away?

Phoebe:  Boy, are you behind in the news.

Paige:  Oh, my gosh. He asked you to marry him?

Phoebe:  No. We're actually already married.

Paige:  Huh?

Phoebe:  It's not what you think. Billie cast a spell.

Paige:  She did what?

Phoebe:  I know, I know, and we already yelled at her. Besides... I 436E47BD.JPGactually don't think she did anything wrong. In fact, I think she's the only one doing anything right around here.

Paige:  Uh... Okay. If you're trying to confuse me, you're doing a bang-up job.

Phoebe:  You ever wonder that... maybe we made a mistake faking our own death?

Paige:  Funny you should ask. I met this guy today and... I kinda could have... liked him.

Phoebe:  That's great, Paige.

Paige:  No, actually, it's not. How am I ever supposed to be with someone when they're not with 436E47DE.JPGthe real me?

Phoebe:  Yeah. I keep asking myself the same exact question. Only, it's not just about guys. It's everything. I mean, you know, who we used to be, the whole greater good thing.

Paige:  Right.

Phoebe:  And I'm just worried that the more we ignore it, the more we're just not gonna be able to.

Paige:  What are we gonna do?

Phoebe:  Thanks to Billie, we're gonna have to come up with a plan pretty soon.

Paige:  I--I'm sorry. 436E47FB.JPGWhat do you mean, thanks to Billie?

Phoebe:  She made me feel pretty guilty about not helping her with this demon. And she was right.

Paige:  Well, where is she?

Phoebe:  I don't know. She stormed outta here.   Maybe she went to her dorm.

Paige:  No. She's probably after the demon.

[Pictures are thrown on the desk in front of Piper]

Piper:  Uh... I'd really like to help you, Agent...

Murphy:  Murphy.

Piper:  Murphy. But I have an interview.

Murphy:  You know, if I showed these photos 436E481C.JPGto most people, more than likely they'd be shocked and repulsed, but not you.

Piper:  I internalize a lot.

Murphy:  Or, you're more used to seeing these kind of victims than you're letting on.

Piper:  Agent Murphy, I just run a night club, that's all.

Murphy:  Just like Piper used to, right?  You know, I've been watching you ever since she and her sisters disappeared.

Piper:  Don't you mean since they died?

Murphy:  You tell me.  Look, I'm not the hard-ass Agent Keyes was, all right?  He left me behind because he didn't believe the Halliwells were really dead.  Even though we both think you know exactly what really happened, the difference is I don't want to bust you or them.  I just want help. I need it.  For the past month, people been showing up dead for reasons no one can really explain, but I think you and your cousins know exactly who or what is responsible.

Piper:  By "what" you mean...

436E485E.JPGMurphy:  You know exactly what I mean. Things beyond normal. Powerful things like yourself. Of course, like everything else, there are good things and bad things. But if you're not doing anything to stop this, then...as far as I'm concerned, you're on the wrong side. And I don't know how you could live with yourselves.

[Cell phone rings]

Piper:  I'm sorry, but I really need to get this.

Murphy:  Billie has my number. [He leaves]

[Piper looks down at a text that reads: 911-- Call home. Billie in trouble]

[Billie helps an injured man walk out of an alley]

Billie:  Taxi! Taxi. Here. Get him to a hospital fast, okay? Hurry up. Go. [She goes back to the alley]

[The Imp Master watches her go as Antosis materializes next to him]

Antosis:  Like a moth to a flame. [They follow her]

[Paige scries over a map]

Piper:  Any sign of Billie?

Paige:  Well, just that she's in the area.

Piper:  What do you mean, she's in the area?

Paige:  She's moving around so much, I'm having a hard time getting a lock on her.  You know, we should upgrade to her GPS scrying system.

Phoebe:  Well, if she survives this, we'll ask her how. At least we know what we're up against.  She left the book open to the demon. Problem is, only the Power of Three spell is going to vanquish him.

Piper:  I don't understand why she would go up against a demon she can't vanquish.

Paige:  Well, I'll make sure to ask her that if she's still alive.  I can't believe we're doing this again.

436E49DA.JPGPiper:  Well, Agent Murphy thinks we never should have stopped.

Phoebe:  Wait. Does he know who we really are?

Piper:  No, but he's getting warmer.

[Paige's crystal stops on a location]

Paige:  Guess who?

[Billie enters the house and Antosis materializes behind her]

Antosis:  Looking for me, are you?

Billie:  Antosis.

Antosis:  I'm flattered. And of course, you've already met my friend. [The Imp Master materializes beside him] Or rather, his friends.

Billie:  What do you want?

Antosis:  You. Alone. And out of my way.

[He walks toward her and the Imp Master brings on the imps]

[The sisters watch the scene from the stairs and Piper starts to use magic]

Phoebe:  No! Wait.

Piper:  Are you kidding me? There's demons in the house. 436E49FD.JPG

Phoebe:  But she said she has a plan.

Antosis:  I am curious. What made you think you could take me out all by yourself?

Billie:  Oh...I know I can't take you out. But I can take them out. [She holds up a potion and throws it at the Imp Master]

[High-pitched screams as the imps and Imp Master go up in flames]

Billie:  Only the Charmed Ones can vanquish you.

Antosis:  Too bad they're dead.

Billie:  Are they?

Phoebe, Paige, Piper: [Together on the stairs] Hear us now, the witches call, he who makes Samaritans fall, we speak as one, the sisters three, and banish you 436E4A1F.JPGto eternity.

Antosis:  No! No! Nooooo! [He goes up in flames]

Billie:  I wanna learn how to do that.

Piper:  You know what?  Are you crazy?  Really, you could have been killed.

Billie:  Well, yeah, I would have been if you guys would have gotten home earlier. I've been walking around outside for like an hour!

Paige:  You took a huge risk.

Piper:  For all of us.

Phoebe:  Thank you.

[Phoebe sits on her bed looking at her ring then looks at herself as Julie in the mirror]

[Paige is in the bathroom and closes the medicine cabinet mirror to look at herself as Jo]

[Leo comes up behind Piper at her dressing table and they both see their altered images in the mirror, then they look at each other and she touches his face]

[Phoebe and Paige mope at the breakfast table]

[Leo and Piper enter]

Leo:  Morning.

Phoebe:  Morning.

Paige:  Morning.

Piper:  What's the matter?

Phoebe:  Oh, I don't know. I guess the same thing that's been bothering you guys.

Leo:  What makes you think something's bothering us?

Paige:  Thin walls.

Piper:  You've been eavesdropping?

Phoebe:  Only from the bathroom.

Paige:  Yeah, and the hallway.  Don't worry. I haven't been listening to any... you know, funny stuff.

Piper:  How long has this been going on?

Phoebe:  Since like the fourth or fifth grade.

[Piper looks at Leo]

Leo:  I'll fix it.

Paige:  Basically, I don't think 436E4A93.JPGthis whole thing is working for any of us anymore.

Phoebe:  Well, I don't think it ever worked.

Leo:  It helped you find a new life outside of fighting demons.

Piper:  Which is something we need to keep trying to do.

Paige:  Well, we've got Billie, so that's gonna make it easier.

Phoebe:  Yeah, but it doesn't solve our bigger problem, which is how we're gonna get outta this mess. I am so tired of pretending to be someone else. I miss me. 436E4AA8.JPG

Paige:  Well, maybe that's what your premonition was for.  Maybe you wouldn't have realized that if you hadn't married Dex.

Phoebe:  Yeah, but I didn't marry Dex. Julie married Dex.

Leo:  I think that's her point.  I think that's everyone's point.  You want your old identities back.

Piper:  Are we sure we really wanna do this?

Paige:  Positive.

Phoebe:  Absolutely.

Piper:  All right then.  [They all stand together in front of the mirror] Are you sure you can rework the spell?

Phoebe:  Oh, I already have. 436E4AC9.JPGI call upon the ancient powers to unmask us now and in future hours show us well and thoroughly reveal ourselves so the world can see. [There's a flash in the mirror]

Paige:  Whoo. That's more like it. 436E4AE9.JPG

Phoebe:  It's good to be back.  Although Dex is gonna freak out.

Paige:  Everyone's gonna freak out, because technically, we're still dead. How, exactly, are we gonna explain this?

Piper:  Well, it's nice to know they can't overhear everything.

[The sisters walk into the Homeland Security office with people staring after them]

Piper:  Hi.  How's it going? Uh, by any chance, is Agent Murphy in?

Secretary:  Who...who should I say is asking?

Paige:  I don't know, girls. Maybe we should just...surprise him.

[Door opens]

Murphy:  What the Hell?

Phoebe:  What's the matter, Agent Murphy? You look like you just saw a ghost.

Murphy:  Leave us. Ahem. Keyes was right.

Piper:  So were you. Did you mean it when you said you just 436E4B29.JPGwanted our help, that you weren't here to bust us?

Murphy:  Wait--how'd you know I said that?

Piper:  Because you weren't talking to Jamie Bennet. You were talking to me.

Paige:  We were all magically disguised.

Piper:  Come on. Don't look so surprised. You yourself said we were these powerful things.

Phoebe:  Powerful witches, to be exact.

Paige:  Who did exactly what you wanted-- getting rid of that bad, bad demon who was hurting those 436E4B42.JPGgood, good Samaritans.

Murphy:  Demons.

Phoebe:  You know, he seems awfully shocked for a guy that claims to know about the supernatural.

Piper:  You're right. Maybe we should go.

Murphy:  Wait, no, no, don't. Please. Look, it's just... it's one thing to believe in the stuff but another to actually... see it.

Paige:  Fair enough.

Piper:  Okay, here's the deal. You wanna know more about who we are and what we do, we'll tell you. 436E4B5B.JPG

Phoebe:  And, help you out with a few cases along the way. If...you help us.

Piper:  And you don't get too greedy.

Paige:  And if you protect our secret.

Murphy:  Or else what? What, is that some sort of threat?

Phoebe:  Mmm.  You don't want to know.

Murphy:  Okay. What do you want me to do?

[Murphy stands surrounded by the press]

Murphy:  I can't talk about the specifics of the case the sisters were involved in, okay? All I can say is it involved 436E4B75.JPGa threat to national security and that our agency got involved to protect them. That's it.

Reporters:  [Overlapping questions] What kind of threat, sir?

Murphy:  I already said they were a witness to a crime, an attempt was made on their lives. We only falsified their deaths in order to flush out the perpetrators. All right? No more questions.

News anchor: And more late-breaking news...


[Dex watches Agent Murphy on the news]

[Knock at door]

Dex: Phoebe!

436E4B8B.JPGPhoebe:  Hi.

Dex: Hi!

Phoebe:  Can I come in?

Dex: Uh, yeah. Sure. I was, uh...just-- I mean, I can't believe you're actually, uh...

Phoebe:  Alive?

Dex:  Yeah!

Phoebe:  It's crazy, huh? 436E4BA6.JPG

Dex: [Laughs] Yeah.  Oh, if you're looking for Julie, she's not here.

Phoebe:  Well, that's not entirely true.

Dex: Sorry?

Phoebe:  [Exhales] Look, Dex, I...wish that there was an easier way to explain this to you, to lessen the blow. But...there isn't. So I'm just gonna have to show you...

Dex: Show me what?

Phoebe:  Forgive me. [She turns herself back into Julie]

[Dex passes out]

Phoebe: Ouch.

Piper:  How do I look?

Paige:  Not bad, considering you've been dead. 436E4BD3.JPG

Piper:  Well, I just hope this blows over sooner rather than later.

Paige:  Don't count on it. We're not that lucky. 436E4BEB.JPG All right. We can do this. We are back and better than ever.

Piper:  Mm-hmm. I'll hold you to that.

[They exit the P3 office and enter the club to applause, cheers and flashbulbs]

Paige:  We're back.

Back to The TV MegaSite's Main Charmed Page


Updated 2/4/09  


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