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Buffy the Vampire Slayer Episode Guide

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 6, Episode 5: Life Serial, Original air date: 10/23/01

We don't know who wrote this. It will be replaced later.

Buffy enters the Summers house, after visiting Angel, carrying a bucket of chicken, obviously for dinner, but finds Tara serving Giles, Willow and Dawn an "actual" dinner. Trying to make Buffy feel better, they also have chicken, using various puns ("I'm a breast girl myself, but I guess, then again you already knew that", Willow smiles at Tara). The dinner-room undertakes an awkward silence, until Dawn asks Buffy how seeing Angel was, but she doesn't seem to want to talk about it, just saying it was intense.

Giles explains to Buffy that they have all been discussing Buffy's problems, and how to solve them, and Buffy also seems to have ideas, but they aren't exactly what Giles means. He means with her life and what she is going to do. She doesn't have an idea, but she'd like to return to school, too late though. She missed late enrolment, being busy dead and all. Tara and Willow suggest they she could attend their classes, until she can register next semester begins, and Buffy agrees it might be the best plan.

Jonathon is complaining about Buffy, because she is too powerful, smart and seems to always be one step ahead of them. He is standing in a driveway, as Warren rolls out from underneath a black van, explaining to Jonathon that, that's why they've developed a series of tests for her. To see her powers. Jonathon nods, and asks Warren for a tour of the van. Warren gets excited and opens the van's door, to a bunch of cool gizmos. Mainly surveillance equipment, but Jonathon is worried Buffy will know they're there, but Warren re-assures him that they're safe, and there is no way she will spot them.

As the two guys walk around to the other side of the van, they discover Andrew, spraying a "Death Star" on the side of the van. Warren freaks out, and explains they don't want to draw attention to themselves.

(opening credits)

Buffy attends a class with Willow on "Social Construction of Reality". A class discussion begins, leaving Buffy obviously lost, as the rest throw information back and forth. Buffy is really confused, as Willow tries to convince her that she isn't stupid...she's as dumb as the rest of the class. Willow answers a really hard question with a complex answer. 

Class ends, and Buffy tells Willow she desires a easier class, for example, "Advanced Walking". A guy bumps into Buffy, as Willow and Buffy meet up with Tara. What Buffy doesn't see, is the guy was Warren, and he planted a little bug on Buffy.

Tara hands Buffy a giant book on the Renaissance, and explains how they have some time to kill before class. Suddenly Buffy begins to experience time displacement. Buffy finally discovers the "bug", and goes to poke it, but the "troika" use the self destruct option, exploding it in a small poof of dust. Time is back to normal.

In the van, Warren tells Jonathon to score him, so Jonathon gives him 50 points for ingenuity, 30 points for actual contact, an average score of 7, a grand total of 220. "Beat that!".

Buffy enters Xander's construction site, with him, wearing a hard hat. Xander explains how he had to pull a few favours to her a try-out on the crew. He also asks if Giles had any idea about the whole time displacement thing, but he didn't, though he said it might have something to do with stress. But she doesn't want to rule out the thing on her jacket, and how it just went poof. Xander cracks a joke about it being evil lint, but then gets serious, and explains how when she meets Tony (the foreman), she might want to leave out the whole blacking out and evil lint.

Buffy is introduced to Tony, but he doesn't seem to impressed. He gives her, the first job, which is moving some really heavy beams. She picks them up easily, which doesn't seem to make the other workers happy. "Slow down! We get payed by the hour!".

In the van, Warren and Jonathon are spying on Buffy, then tell Andrew its his turn. Andrew is in the back of the van, and begins to play some pan-pipes.

Buffy is getting a drink of water from a cooler, as the flute music floats into the scene, Buffy looks up. Tony is standing there and smirks, asking why she is jumpy. Buffy grabs him, and throws him, knocking him out. Two demons, with weird heads, with tentacles, attack her. Lots of punching and kicking. Two works are thrown into a wall. Buffy picks up a shovel, stabs it, and it melts. She wraps a chain around the second demons throat, and the third is trapped under a hydraulic lift's gears.

Warren is watching it all through some binoculars in the van, which is across the street. Andrew tries to get the binoculars, and accidentally falls on the van's horn. The theme from Star Wars trumpets from the van, and Buffy looks, seeing the van across the road. The three dive down, and all seem pissed off at Andrew.

Xander enters and see's the mess, and the three workers (incl. Tony). Xander asks what happened, and Tony insists that Buffy freaked out and attacked him. Buffy takes Xander aside and tells him the real story, but Xander says no, not at his job, that's your job. Buffy tries to explain again, but he just tells her to go back to the magic shop, to work with Giles on it. Buffy asks if he is firing her, and he replies big time.

At the Magick Shop, Buffy is telling Anya that she has always wanted to work retail. Anya explains how to enter sales into the ledger, and Giles gives even more instructions. A skull, which sits on a shelf nearby, also has a camera inside. From inside the van, the three guys watch, as they realise she is completely without focus. The three gather in a spell circle. As the spell is cast, white smoke starts to flow out of a nearby magical "bone" which gets alot of puns.

A woman enters the shop, and Buffy notices the new customer. Anya tells her to go up to her and sell her something. Buffy walks up to her, but is interrupted by a man, who has been looking at a display of candles. He asks which candle creates more of a romantic atmosphere. She suggests lemon seduction (over essence of slug). She continues to the woman, who explains she is looking for a mummy hand, so Buffy goes downstairs to fetch one.

As Buffy arrives downstairs, she finds an ancient mummy hand sitting on a crate. She goes to grab it, but instead it goes for her throat. When she finally has wrestled it down, she stabs it with the "Dagger of Lux". 

Buffy returns upstairs, and presents the mummy hand to the customer. She isn't very happy, and declines the sale, because the power is now gone.

A woman enters the shop, and Buffy notices the new customer. Giles offers some helpful advice on sales. Then it hits Buffy, "What? Huh?". Time is repeating itself.

"Oh, oh dude, you did it! She's looping". Jonathon has cast a spell that will loop her with the task, until she gets it right.

Buffy runs through the same routine a few times; Anya explains to Buffy about sales, Buffy walks into the candle shopper then up to the woman, kills the mummy hand then it does it again, but sometimes with many differences)

Finally Buffy realises. She special orders one, and rings it up at the counter. "Thankyou for shopping at the Magic Shop!".

The three guys are extremely happy.

Giles congratulates Buffy on the sale, but Anya immediately notices that she didn't charge for delivery, so she is going to take that out of her pay. Buffy slams her nameplate down on the counter and leaves.

In Spike's crypt, Buffy is sitting on his coffin, drinking vodka with Spike. She continually complains about her life. Spike tell's Buffy that she is a creature of darkness, like him, and she should try his world.

The two walk into a bar, Buffy being very tipsy. Spike asks for the "Back Room Action", while Buffy spots a bottle of scotch, and drinks it. Out the back, Spike sits down to a game of poker, with three demons. Buffy asks why he is going to play cards, and explains its to get information out of them. Buffy sits down in a corner, with her bottle of scotch. The demons all reach down by the side of the chairs and pulls out little kittens, and puts them in the basket which sits in the centre of the table. Buffy is a little shocked that they play for kittens, but just goes back to being drunk.

The three guys are looking for Buffy's new location, as they compare themselves to supervillans from feature films.

Spike wins a game with his straight flush. As Spike starts putting all his "winnings" into a larger basket, one of the demons accuse him of cheating. They tell him to get out, and to leave his winnings, but he informs them that they didn't expect him and the slayer to show up. Buffy hiccups.

Buffy walks out of the bar. Spike stops her, and asks her what is wrong. She starts to complain, saying how he was going to use fighting to get the information, and that didn't work. Then she starts to complain, about, "Stupid Buffy, too dumb for college freak, Buffy too strong for construction work and my job at the Magick box. I was bored to tears even before the hour ended, and now the only person i can stand to be around is a neutered vampire who cheats at kitten poker!".

In the van, the three guys are still arguing about the whole super villain thing. Spike catches up with Buffy in the allay, as she notices the van, not that too far off in the distance. As the three physically wrestle over the argument, they don't notice Buffy walking towards the van. Finally Warren notices, and he tells Jonathon to grab his magic bone. Laughter ensues.

A demon jumps out from behind the van. It's quite large with big wings and horns. The van drives off, as the demon begins to fight Buffy, who is still drunk. He throws something to the ground, which causes lots of smoke, and he runs off, supposedly returned to his demon dimension.

At the van, the demon runs up and complains about her hitting him. He undoes the spell, which makes the demon shrink down into Jonathon. He crawls into the back of the van, in alot of pain. Warren is quite happy, they now know her strengths and weaknesses and such. Not too mention they found free cable porn.

Buffy (who has a hang over), walks out of the bathroom, as Giles hands her a glass of water. Giles gives her a check, which makes her quite happy. She goes to show Dawn the check to cheer her up, but turns to Giles. "it makes me feel safe, knowing you're always going to be here". She walks towards Dawn's room, leaving Giles smiling uncomfortably.

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Updated 1/15/09  


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