Review of "The Capones" on Reelz From The TV MegaSite

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Cast of The Capones

"The Capones" review by Sundi 1/30/14
Airs Tuesdays 10pm on Reelz

I get what this show is supposed to be, I really do, but REELZ’s new family reality show, The Capones is just a poorly constructed exploitation project. While it seems like the show is in the same vane as The Osbournes or Gene Simmons’ Family Jewels, it is such dreck that I have to force myself to make it through the two episodes I had on the DVR.

The show focuses on the distant relatives of historic criminal Al Capone and their family-owned pizza restaurant in Lombard, Illinois. The Boss is Dominic Capone, whose great-great grandfather was Al Capone’s Uncle and his consigliere (they chose that word, not me) is Uncle Lou, a weird, cartoonish man with a stick-strait mustache, terrible toupe, and blue tinted sunglasses. He attempts to dispense wisdom, Uncle Si-style, but his presence is distracting in its own right as you try to figure out what his deal is (especially after it's revealed he was sorta-famous singer in the 50s).

Dominic’s girlfriend of twelve years provides plenty of drama as she interacts and “fights” with his mother Dawn, but the action is so contrived in this series, I keep expecting them to call out “Line!” when they stumble over the dialogue. I am not judging this show based on its overt trashiness, its blatant exploitation of contemporary stereotype, or even the complete lack of respect the network shows for this family -- all those things I adore -- I am judging this show because its goes all those things terribly and takes the fun out of watching. It not funny because its sad.

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