Review of the 2004 "CMA Awards" From The TV MegaSite
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"The 2004 CMA Awards" Review by Jenny 11-10-04

Gretchen Wilson picture from YahooThe strangest-thing-I've-ever-seen Award goes to: The rapping cowboy. I didnít catch his name, but he performed with Big&Rich. I have to admit he got my attention. I never heard anyone rap to a country song before. I have to give him originality points.

The least-original-acceptance-speech Award goes to: Martina McBride. How many awards show acceptance speeches have you heard that start like this: When I was a small boy/girl in Kansas/Iowa/any other state in the middle of the country, I had a dream..."

The were-you-blindfolded-when-you-picked-that-outfit? Award goes to: Patty Loveless. What was that thing? It looked like an oil slick on fabric. With sequins. After going through a weed whacker.

The sudden-loss-of-fashion-sense Award goes to: Shania Twain. I really liked that first outfit she wore in her performance. But then she apparently lost her mind and changed into that yellow number. I never saw anyone pair a tank top with a big, poufy, Disney Princess-like skirt before. The two styles totally didn't match. And the intentionally showing bra straps just made the whole thing even tackier. The total effect was that she looked like a wilted sunflower.

The most-amusing-acceptance-speech Award goes to: Kenny Chesney. I loved it when he told them to shut the music off because he'd waited ten years and he was going to be a while. Unfortunately they cut him off anyway.

The time-to-quit-while-you're-ahead-on-the-plastic-surgery Award goes to: Reba McEntire. What did they do, put elastic on her face to make it stretch? If she quits now, she'll be ok. But if she has one more facelift, her nose is going to wind up on top of her head.

The does-he-do-this-to-torture-us? Award goes to: Tim McGraw. Why does he have to wear so much clothing? It's bad enough he has to wear a shirt. But he has to wear a jacket on top of it? That's really inconsiderate to all his female fans. Next year I want to see his impression of that Diet Coke commercial with the shirtless construction worker.

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