25 Ways to Hurt Your Rival!

Kristen Blake

25. Have his baby-You are sure to get your man if you do this.He will stay with you because he feels responsible for the child, and your rival will be jealous. Recommended methods: Drugs and Hypnotic mirrors

24. Cause him to have a stroke-He can't fight you if he can't talk.

23. Lock her up-She can't take him if she's locked up. Be creative, build a secret room in the basement. Don't worry, she is used to it.

22. Kick her out of the company-Do you two work together? Ask the board to fire her.

21.  Call Daddy-If your dad happens to be a superpowerful crime boss, he'll know what to do.

20. Play cop-Work undercover with your rival's man. Don't let her know that the two of you are just pretending.

19. Take a trip-Go to Paris, Rome, or a somewhat nearby creepy town. Do your best to see that the other woman doesn't come, too. It won't be easy.

18. Play house-Pretend you love the kids he had with other women. Give them parties and such. It is sure to play on his emotions. If at all possible, make her watch.

17. Beat yourself up-If the other woman is too nice to beat you up, hurt yourself and blame her. She'll be in jail!!

16. Accidents=Sympathy-If beating yourself up didn't work, try to make him hurt you, possibly with his car.  He is sure to feel guilty and sympathize with your injuries while she will look mean for not being as sympathetic

15. Frame him-Everyone knows that true love is measured in trust. Frame him for a crime, then stand by him when he says he didn't do it. This will strengthen your relationship.

14. Force him to marry you-Whether it be French law, or in because you're in labor, try to make him say those vows while your enemy watches.

13. Damsel in distress-He won't have time for her, if he has to protect you from the bad man all the time.

12. Implants-Try to get some bigger than hers.

11. Make-up-Same idea. Try to wear more than her. Wear it at all times. Even when showering and sleeping. The more you wear the better you look. She's sure to lose all self confidence if you walk around looking like a prostitute.

10. Henchperson-Do your best to get an evil assistant who will aid in all your dirty work. He/She can help you win your beloved, and take all the blame for your evil doings.

9. Bulimia-This is sure to make you more attractie to the man you want! He'll love it when you puke on him. Bulimia will also make your rival (and maybe your mom) feel guilty for the way she behaves!

8. Find a pawn-Jealous of your half-brother? Use the other half brother to win over the woman your man wants. Do not consider either brothers' emotions.

7. Continuity-Repeat to your rival everyday "______ and I will be together as soon as I  tell_______ what you have done!" "You and ______ aren't even legally married."

6. Always hold the grudge-Even if you two haven't fought in years, do NOT forget or forgive her for sleeping with your husband 22 years ago. Even if said husband is no where to be seen.

5. Always hold the grudge II-Never miss a chance to rub in the fact that you slept with an enemy's husband. Even if it happened 22 years ago.

4. Blackmail some evil-doers-They aren't as loyal as henchpeople, but sometimes they are needed.

3. Mind Games- Want your enemy to forget what he has on you? Brainwash him! Then repeatedly kidnap the love of his life.

2. Torture-If you liked the mind games, why not put your enemy in shackles? While he is chained up do your best to have sex with the love of his life as he watches via camera moniter.

1. Drug the Chocolate-Your enemy has a weakness. She is no doubt addicted to Chocolate. Use this to your advantage and slip the rival a mickey. Happy Stalking!

Courtesy of lyndzy8@aol.com