Best Y&R Lines Monday 3/12/12

Y&R Best Lines Monday 3/12/12


Provided By Eva

Adam: Too busy nesting to have read the article about me, huh? Might be the only one in town, maybe the only one on the planet. No, there might be a small tribe in the rain forest somewhere.

Chelsea: (Chuckles)

Adam: No, they probably read it, too.

Chelsea: (Laughs) uh, no, I have no clue. Like I said, fill me in.

Adam: Sure thing. I've got breaking news. You're lying.

Adam: That old saw about, um, other senses improving when you lose one? It's all true. I just used my bionic hearing to pick up on you setting a magazine down. It wasn't a far stretch to figure out which magazine that would be. So what do you have to say for yourself, "Miss pants-on-fire"?

Chelsea: Oops.

Adam: (Laughs)

Chelsea: (Chuckles)

Adam: Well, then, as long as you are filled with remorse--

Chelsea: Oh, you know what? Give me a break. I-I see you sitting alone looking miserable. It's kind of hard to break the ice with "hey, Lucifer, how's it going? How's the walking stick, huh?"

Adam: It's not a pitchfork, but it gets the job done.

Chelsea: Okay, fine, you got me. I read the article. It's actually very juicy read. Sounds like you've been up to all sorts of trouble.

Adam: Yep, I'm trying to leave the trouble in the past. Problem is, it doesn't want to stay there. So, um, what about you? I'm, uh, assuming that you can still fit on a barstool.

Chelsea: Belly jokes. Nice. I'm laughing on the inside.

Adam: (Laughs) are you still living at my sister's?

Chelsea: Mm-hmm, I am. But with all your stuff going on, you probably haven't heard the big news. I have decided to let Victoria and Billy raise the baby.

Adam: Wow. Dare I ask what the angle is?

Chelsea: Well, it's very edgy. I'm not sure you can handle it. (Chuckles)

Adam: Try me.

Chelsea: I think this kid deserves to have a great life. Billy and Victoria can give him that life. That's my angle.

Adam: That is big news.

Chelsea: Truth is, I'm not ready to be a mom. No matter how pregnant I am... (chuckles) I am not a mom, at least, not yet, so... giving this baby two good parents-- it's the right thing to do.

Adam: Ah, the right thing to do. Living by "the right thing" rules, I'm pretty familiar with that.

Chelsea: I take it you've tried it?

Adam: Recently, I have been trying it, yes. I am trying it now. Lucifer saw the light. I know it sounds like I'm making a joke of it, but I'm serious. I... being completely blind will jump-start things that'll splash you right back into reality. (Clears throat) and then I, um, went and visited my--my childhood home back in Kansas, and... everything changed out there, and in here, and here, too.

Adam: Go on. Feel free to make fun of me for being a fake and a phony. You wouldn't be the first person. We're always accepting new memberships.

Chelsea: No. It sounds to me like you mean it.

Adam: Yeah, I just, um, got tired of all the constant chaos, and it needed to stop... just stop.

Chelsea: It's a hard thing to do. It's a hard thing to show other people that it's possible.

Adam: Truer words, my gestating friend, truer words.

Chelsea: (Exhales quickly) well, other than this whole magazine story, uh... (Laughing) how are things?

Adam: Oh, I don't know, let's see, um... recently had a breakable object thrown at my face. Someone threatened to punch me. I've had my heart turned to mulch. Just another day in the life of Adam Newman.

Chelsea: Wow. Wow. That's--that's something. I really want to make a joke right now, but that actually really sucks. (Chuckles)

Adam: Yes, it does. It's gotta get better from here, right?

Spencer: Adam Newman. You're wanted for questioning regarding Patty Williams.

Adam: I guess not. District Attorney Walsh, I presume. I'm assuming you're here because of the "restless style" article printed about me. I would suggest you don't haul people down for questioning when you read things in the tabloids-- that is, unless, of course, you plan on swearing out a warrant for bigfoot.

Spencer: This is about statements you allegedly made about arranging Patty Williams escape from incarceration. You ready to come with us, or do you need some persuasion?

Adam: You'll have to excuse me. I, uh, I haven't been down to the station in a while. I'm gonna go say hi to some old buddies.

Chelsea: Sure thing. I've had some of those buddies myself.

Adam: I bet you have.

Chelsea: (Laughs)

Adam: Fare thee well, Chelsea.

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